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=> ROSE: BE WITH JOHN
All things considered, you could at least appreciate the symbolism of it all.
Here is where it all began, and here shall everything end. You vividly recall the both of you enjoying your first date here at Chez Karkles, him being shy and stuttering his lines. To be fair, you were (kind of) nervous too. You’ve been eyeing that cute four eyed nerd you saw in the library you frequent, and honestly you were surprised that he asked you out before you worked up the courage to.
Enough reminiscing, you think. Here you are, one year later, the week after the anniversary of you two dating, and you haven’t been enjoying your dinner much. Not because it’s no longer cooked the same (the yelling from the kitchen you hear just now confirms the head chef is still the same person), but your mind is preoccupied with other matters so you haven’t been properly tasting the food.
No, you’ve been wondering if today is the day that John finally breaks up with you.
Oh all the signs are there. He’s changed lately, acting strange. When he’d usually grin as you cuddle up watching one of his movies, you’d catch him sometimes grimacing, and not the grimace you see from him seeing the bad acting of his movies. Even the smile you see is strained at times.
That’s not all, there’s also the physical evidence. Your stuff frequently goes missing (your underwear, your jewelry, your clothes.), only for it to return later. One time, you can smell the perfume on him after he returns from work. It was all you could do not to snap at him right there and then. After he slept, you sniffed his clothes again just to make sure. Sure enough, it was faint, but it was there.
The last straw was when you saw him going to a jewelry store on your way home just last week. You feel bad acting like a stalker, but you followed him anyway. You see him trying on a few jewelries before settling in on a Ring. You were giddy for the rest of the week, and then, on your anniversary, John gives you your gift. Not a ring, but a bunch of flowers. So the ring he bought wasn’t for you, but for some other hussie. You just, you just...
Oh sod it. Even now, after all evidence of his betrayal, all you want to do is cry and somehow convince him that you’re the better woman. You love that unfaithful jerk. You keep wondering if there was something wrong you did, and if apologizing would...
No, Rose, you’re not a fucking doormat. You’re a strong independent woman and like hell you’ll be reduced to a hysterical dame just because John is a filthy liar. If he can’t appreciate you being in his life, well, tough titties John. You’d phrase it better but being mad at him frequently makes you at a loss for words.
You shut out all thoughts of reconciling with John and stare him dead in the eye. He does not return the favor and is idly picking on his plate with a fork. A cough soon fixed that, and you have his full attention. “John, stop beating around the bush and say what you want to say.”
“Huh?” He raises his eyes. Good you finally got his attention.
“I’m not stupid John. I know what’s going on with you.”
With panic evident in his eyes, John dropped the fork before responding. “I- wha- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You roll your eyes. “Please do not insult my intelligence John. Out with it already. I know what you’ve been doing behind my back!”
“I- I- I-“
“Just..” you begin, not sure what you want him to say. “Just tell me why. Why would you do it?”
John just left his mouth hanging, god he can be frustrating. He’s really gonna be this obstinate huh? Well might as well come out and say it yourself. “Look, if you try not going to tell me why, at least tell me the name.”
“What name?”
“The name of the woman John.”
“What woman?” He asked, looking more and more confused.
You resist the urge to facepalm. “You know DAMN well what woman Egbert!”
He stayed silent for a moment, before finally speaking. “Well, I haven’t decided yet… but probably June.”
Right after John said that, something happened. You’re not sure what to call it, but it’s like your mind short circuited and blanked out. Haven’t decided? June? PROBABLY?
Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. Something’s not right here. John is a lot of things, and you know him pretty well if you do say so yourself. But you just can’t see him playing around with many women. At once. Still, at least you know who to hate the most, that fucking bitch June. Whoever she is, that damn thieving cat.
Before you can ask for further clarification, John let out a loud sigh and spoke first. “Alright Rose, I don’t know how you found out, but I guess it’s time I told you.”
Oh. Shit. What he said before caught you off guard. You’re not at all ready for a breakup right at this moment. “Hold that thought John.” You begin, and pour yourself a glass of wine.
As you drink it though, John continued. “Look I really need to say it before I lose my nerve.” You hold up one finger as you chug down your wine. “No, I’m sorry, I can’t put this off Rose.”
You brace yourself for those 6 words you dread the most: I am breaking up with you.
The next 6 words he said are: “I want to be a woman.”
See, if this were a TV Show or a movie, you would choke on your drink and spit out the wine all over the table. Fortunately, this is real life, and you are a proper lady.
And so, in real life, you choke on your drink and spit out the wine all over the table. Like a proper lady. You start coughing uncontrollably and it took a few moments of John slapping and rubbing your back before you wave him off. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” You cough one last time for good measure. “Sorry, can you repeat that? I want to make sure I didn’t misheard you.”
“Oh, um, well… it’s the truth Rose, just like you suspected. You see, all my life, I-“ John began, before regaling you the tale of how John struggled with his gender identity and sexual confusion, and how recently he decided to have a sex change operation. To be honest however, you were only half listening. You’re not proud of that, considering how John is pouring his heart out, but your mind is still reeling from being dead wrong and what he’s saying coming out of the left field.
“So there you have it Rose. Boy, it feels great to finally tell you all of that. What a load off my mind.” He laughed a little, before frowning again. “But how did you manage to figure out the truth? I thought I kept it hidden pretty well.”
Well. If he’s being honest, you might as well return the favor. “Truthfully John. I was wrong. I was way off with my conclusions tonight.”
“Oh?”
“You see, I- don’t get mad John.” He nodded. “In all honesty, I thought you were breaking up with me.”
John simply stared at you before letting out a big “WHAT?”
“I apologize John, I misinterpreted the clues I found. You see, you’ve been acting weird lately, and my stuff keeps missing only to come back, and I smelled perfume on you, and I never got that ring you bought. At first I came to the conclusion that you were not faithful to me and seeing some other woman, but in retrospect I can see that you were only trying girl stuff.”
“Oh. Ohhhhhhhh. Yeah uh, sorry about all that Rose.” He scratched his neck, an awakened smile in his face. “Oh wow now that I think about it, it did look like that didn’t it. Sorry, I just wanted to try out what being a woman feels like. But you’re the only woman in my life Rose. Please believe me.” He added, pleadingly.
“I can’t stay mad at you John.” Well. Maybe you’re still a little mad, you think. You smirk as you punish him a bit. “But the next time you want to try out my bra, tell me.” He blushed a deep crimson red muttering our apologies all the time.
The conversation came to a halt as a waiter came by to replace your table linen. After he left though, John still stayed silent. The rest of dinner was similarly chatterless, and it was only on the way home to your apartment and you have some privacy that you asked him. “Is something wrong John?”
He let out another long sigh. “I… suppose we’ll have to break up then?”
Your right eye twitched. “Come again?”
“Well, I mean, I’m seriously considering getting a sex change operation Rose. I won’t be the man you’ve been dating all this time afterwards.”
Ahh, so that’s what he meant. You run past John and turn towards him, holding his hands as you look him in the eye. “John, the person that caught my interest was indeed a man who frequented my favorite library.” John frowned a bit. “But I fell in love with the soul of that person, regardless of their sex. I like you just the way you are.”
He seemed to misunderstand what you said because he looked down. “What I mean is, I like the way you are around me, not because of your dangly bits. Or lack of dangly bits as the case will soon be.”
He gave a sad smile. Hmm. It seems you’ll need to lighten the mood a bit.
“But in the interest of full disclosure, I’ll miss Little Egbert.”
His eyes flew wide open. “Oh god.”
“But don’t feel worried John, technology is a marvelous thing. We’ll still be able to have plenty of bed time fun-“
“Oh god Rose.”
“Why recently they made these double headed Dil-“
“ROSE!”
You laugh. “I’m sorry John. I’m just teasing you. But I promise John, as long as it makes you comfortable to be yourself, I’ll be fine being with you and helping you do what needs to be done.”
His voice shakes a bit as he asks. “You promise?”
“Cross my heart John.”
Smiling, you return to his side and walk hand in hand home.
“June.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to say your name.”
“Oh.” Silence. “I like it. Thanks Rose.”
“Anytime June. Anytime.”
=> ROSE: BE WITH JUNE. MUCH LATER.
You sip your coffee, enjoying the gentle sunlight, the breeze, and the company. Jo- June is fidgeting with her cup as her eyes dart this way and that around the cafe. You put down your cup and address her. “Something on your mind dear?”
“Huh?” She turns to you, before laughing it off. “Oh, no, it’s nothing Rose. I was just... you know…”
“Wondering if anyone knew you had a sex change operation?”
“SHHHHHHHH!” She said, looking around her again.
“In case you haven’t noticed June, people are more interested in their meal than wondering about whether each and every patron in this fine establishment is the same sex they were at at birth.”
“Yeah, I know, but still…” she trailed off. “Hey Rose?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you… regret being with me? Now I mean, after all this?” She asked, her eyes boring into her cup.
Ahh. So that’s what’s been bothering her. You stretch your arms and take her hands into your own before answering her. “I won’t lie to you June. I have underestimated how difficult it has been for the both of us.” But every step of the way, you’ve been by her side. Whether it was accompanying her to the Doctor’s office (your hand was sore for a few weeks from how tightly he gripped your hand), confronting her father (he was surprisingly supportive of it. After asking some VERY awkward questions. Kind of anticlimactic), or encountering their friends after the operation (who again are all supportive, barring them being awkward for the first few weeks).
Her work place was less accepting however. It was a huge ordeal that frustrates you even if you were just remembering it. Even now you still get the odd hate comment from certain people online. But nevertheless, it was worth it. “No darling, I don’t regret it.” The glint of the sun reflected off of the ring on your finger makes you blink as you smile and lift her head so you can see her eyes. “I like you just the way you are.”
June smiled back, still the same one that made you fall in love with her.