Archive of Our Own

Tony Stark had a problem. Well, maybe it's not so much a problem as a minor inconvenience. A small deviation from the expected reality. It’s miniscule really, or as miniscule as it could get when it involves a 6ft 2 supersoldier. The thing is: Tony has a problem with Steve Rogers. More specifically Tony Stark has a teeny-tiny crush on Steve Rogers. Honestly, it’s fine. There’s nothing to freak out about. This was Steve Rogers for God’s sake. It was a perfectly acceptable and normal reaction. It would be abnormal to not have a crush on him right?

“Rhodey are you still listening?” Tony asked.

“Am I still listening to you moaning about how much you’re in love with Captain America for the five hundredth time?” Rhodey asked, his voice sounding tinny over the phone line.

“Okay first of all, I’m not in love with him. Were you not listening to anything I just said? It’s just a stupid crush. You’ve met Steve. Anyone would have a crush on him right?”

“Sure Tony” Rhodey answered and Tony could picture him rolling his eyes at the phone.

“Look, it's not a big deal. It’ll be fine. It’s not like I’m planning to do something about it. It’ll just fade away on its own. And then we can go back to being whatever the heck we are.”

“Uh- huh. I believe you.”

“You know you could at least pretend to be convincing,” Tony muttered as he glared at the gadgetry in front of him, considering he couldn't glare at his best friend.

“Tones, you know you call me because you want me to tell it to you straight. We can pretend for as long as you like but we both know you called me because you needed me to give you the push. Which is fine, but let's not pretend that's not what is happening here.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Sure you don't. Listen Tony, I know you have a complicated history with Steve, and half of that was when he was buried in the ice. But maybe, and radical concept here, but just maybe you could try telling him how you feel. I can't say what he might be feeling but I know him enough to know he will respect your feelings. What's the worst that could happen?”

“What's the worst that could happen?” Tony exclaimed. “Well he could reject my lov- ahem, my affections and then I would have to change my name, grow out my goatee and live as a recluse on some remote island. There is literally a 0 percent chance of him returning any feeling I may or may not have. Trust me, I’m a genius. It's just not going to happen.”

“-- Sir, I just wanted to inform you that Captain Rogers has entered the building. He is currently headed to the gym. Current parameters indicate a state of agitation. Do you want me to make a note in the file?” JARVIS announced as Tony frantically tried to mute him.

“Tony,” Rhodey sighed, voice tinged with exasperation and amusement. “Is this what we’re doing now? Keeping tabs on him and tracking his moods?”

“Uh hello? Rhodey? Platypus? Rhodes, you’re breaking up. I can’t hear you. I’ll talk to you later,” Tony said.

“You’re incorrigible,” Rhodey chuckled. “Anyway I think you have somewhere else to be so I’m going to hang up now. I’ll see you at the Christmas party this weekend.”

“I have absolutely nowhere to be. But I'll see you soon Rhodey Bear! Stay safe out there.”

“I will,” Rhodey said and Tony cut the call. Both of them were superstitious about saying goodbyes.

“If I may Sir, based on your previous interactions with Captain Rogers and after monitoring certain variables, I could run the numbers and give you a probability of Captain Rogers having a -“, and Tony could almost hear an imaginary throat clearing and his chest suddenly ached at the memory of the original owner of his AI’s voice, “-crush on you” JARVIS continued. Jarvis would have loved Steve.

“Okay first of all, nobody likes a know-it-all JARVIS, and let’s not call it a crush for God’s sake. What am I twelve? Secondly, I very much do not want to know. I'm not that much of a masochist Jay,” said Tony.

“As you wish Sir. Captain Rogers is currently on his third punching bag of the evening,” JARVIS announced.

“Jesus Christ. I’m going, I’m going” said Tony as he set down a prototype of the Widow bite he had been tinkering with and marched to the elevators.

This was the fifth time in the last two weeks that Steve had come home from somewhere and gone to town on the punching bags. Tony knew that he could track him easily to find out where he went off to if he wished but that had been a step too far even for him. Steve asked for so little, a little bit of privacy was the least that Tony could give him. All he could do was make himself available for the aftermath. He shook himself out of his thoughts as the elevator doors opened. He could hear the repetitive thwack of the punching bag reverberating in the empty gym even before Steve came into view.

“Oh my God Steve, what the hell are you doing?” Tony exclaimed as he ran up to Steve and held the punching bag away from Steve’s bare fist. Steve looked startled at seeing Tony next to him which was concerning for a man who had super hearing.

“Your knuckles are bruised and swelling up, why the hell would you punch this without wrapping them first? You know I reinforced these specially for you!” Tony said as he held Steve’s hand up to examine the damage.

“It’ll heal,” replied Steve, dully his face devoid of any emotion. And no this just won’t do. Steve Rogers should never look dull. He could look disbelieving or exasperated or annoyed or just plain furious when he looked at Tony, but not like this. His blue eyes were not meant to look so lifeless, like they were seeing through Tony instead of at him. Tony would take an angry Steve over this lost one any day.

“Okay I cannot express how much that doesn't make me feel better Steve. You know this. We’ve been through this,” Tony said as he gently tugged Steve to the shelves in the corner of the gym where they kept all the first aid supplies.

Steve just shrugged, looking anywhere but at Tony as Tony started taking out some ointment and bandages to wrap up his hands.

“Hey you,” Tony said, gently squeezing Steve’s hand to get his attention. “Let’s just sit down for a while yeah?” He collected his supplies and led Steve to sit on the floor with their backs to the wall.

He carefully started applying ointment to the bruised knuckles though by this point the serum had kicked in and the colour had already started to fade a little.

He looked up at Steve as he finished bandaging his hand. Steve looked so young under the lights. But his eyes looked tired, like they had seen things well beyond their years.

“I went to Brooklyn today,” Steve said after a while and Tony was so relieved to hear his voice. He hums in acknowledgement. For all his hyper verbal tendencies, he knew not to interrupt when Steve had something to get off his chest. One wrong word and Steve would clam up.

“Just walked around our old neighbourhood. I’ve been going there a lot these past couple of weeks ...Saw the spot where our old apartment building used to be,” Steve continued. “I think it just keeps pulling me back because of how it makes me feel.”

“Yeah?” Tony said, prompting Steve to continue.

“Like the life I had before the serum was real. Like the people I loved were real. And like the people who loved me were too,” Steve said and Tony’s heart ached.

“I just - I miss them” he said. “All of them. But especially Ma and Bucky. They both loved this time of the year so much. Ma would have loved the tree we have in the lobby. She loved those giant trees decked up with all the fancy ornaments. We never could afford one but we always went to see them, with me all bundled up in every single warm clothing I had. And Bucky he -” Steve’s voice cracked as he buried his face in his hands.

“Hey,” Tony said as he gently stroked Steve’s back, “you’re okay.”

“It’s just - why me?”

“What do you mean?”

“It's just why did I get to live and not him? There’s nothing special about me. Everything special about me came from a bottle after all,” Steve smiled ruefully.

“Hey now, who said that about you?” Tony asked.

“Tony” Steve sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Okay look. I know I said it but you have to know by now that was the repressed daddy issues at play Steve. I didn't mean it. I could never mean it.”

“It's just on these nights I keep wondering. Why was I the one to survive and not him? Why was I the one who survived a plane crash and turned up in a different century? And sometimes I think it's a punishment. Being alive but with everyone I love dead. Being alive with the guilt that I couldn't save him. That I couldn’t do anything for my mom. People used to feel bad for her, you know. Poor Mrs Rogers, working her fingers to the bone because her sick son could only lay in bed for months on end, they’d say. The one thing I wanted growing up was for her to be proud of me. For me to be able to do something so that she could finally get some rest.”

“Hey. Look there's no handbook for this. There's no magazine that gives you tips on top 10 things that you can say to your friend who woke up in a new century. I don't know why things happen the way they do and I can't decide for you if you think it's a punishment or not. But you’re allowed to feel however you want Steve and you can tell us about it. We may not always know the right thing to say or have all the answers but we will listen. We’re all here for you. I mean I know I’m not the best listener but -”

“You are actually. You just like to pretend you’re not,” Steve interrupted.

“Oh do I now?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. “You seem to be quite the observant man Captain Rogers.”

“It kind of comes with the job you know. Can’t help but notice,” Steve shrugged.

“You know, I always thought dad was exaggerating when he told me stories about you. Nobody could be that perfect. But you really are all the things he said you were. And you’re not perfect, but you’re human and that’s what makes me admire you even more Steve. You’re allowed to have bad days Steve. We’d just rather you didn’t spend them alone.”

Steve looked at him with those baby blue eyes with an expression Tony couldn’t quite figure out. “You can't just say all these things and -” he shook his head, voice quivering slightly. “-- Never mind. Thanks Tony.”

“Will you tell me more about them?” Tony asked and Steve looked at him with such a fragile and hopeful look in his eyes, before he nodded.

“So Bucky and I were about six years old when----”

Steve talked till his voice was hoarse. Memories of childhood and Christmas and ones with the Howling Commandos. It was as though the dam had burst and he couldn't stop.

“-- Sorry I talked so much,” Steve said a few hours later. “It's like talking about them made me feel more like they were the real people they were than the ghosts that haunt me now. I know people will always remember Bucky. I went to his exhibit in the museum the other day too. But Ma...Sometimes I wake up in this strange new world and get scared that she was a figment of my imagination. That she never existed. Telling you about her made her real again. Like somebody else knows that she existed and how amazing she was,” said Steve.

“She sounds like a truly amazing person Cap. I wish I could have met her,” Tony replied stretching his arms above his head as his back cracked audibly. “But could we please do this on the couch next time? My ass is too fabulous to be asleep for so long.”

Steve’s face flushed a bright pink and honestly how was Tony supposed to get over this adorable specimen of a human being?

“She would have loved you Tony. She always wished I had more friends. That people would be kind to me. She fought so hard towards the end because she was so scared of leaving me alone. I overheard Bucky tell her once that he would look out for me. That she should stop worrying. But she was Ma. She always worried,” he huffed with a sad smile.

“Anyway, it’s getting pretty late. Let’s go to bed. I have to pick up a few last minute gifts tomorrow morning.” Steve said as he stood up and held out a hand to pull Tony up.
“Wait, I thought you already finished your Christmas shopping,” Tony said, groaning as he let Steve help him stand.
“Oh those were just the presents for the team. Tomorrow I need to shop for some of the kids.”
Tony looked up surprised. “Kids?” he asked, his voice rising. “Do we need to have a heart-to-heart about something else Steve?”
“No Tony,” Steve said, shaking his head in fond amusement. “I meant the kids at the children’s hospital in Brooklyn. I’ve been visiting them about once every month or so since I moved to the tower. I picked up gifts for most of them but I called ahead to check and they have a couple of more kids so I need to pick up a few more gifts. Honestly a mission is probably easier. Gift shopping for kids is so much harder than you’d think it would be. I have everything for the younger kids but I need to buy stuff for the older ones tomorrow before I visit in the afternoon.”
“You visit the children’s hospital every month?” Tony asked, surprised. “How come I don’t know about this?”

“Well as much as you would like to think so, you don’t know everything. And sometimes you can be really dense about things right in front of you.” Steve said as he half dragged Tony to the elevator.

“Hey, I take offense to that. What are you even talking about?” Tony asked.

“Never mind. I’ll see you later Tony,” Steve said as the doors opened to his floor.

“You have people who love you in this century as well Steve,” Tony said as Steve faced the doors.

Steve turned and smiled at him, small but true. “You know you were wrong earlier, Somehow you do know the right thing to say. Good night Tony.”

“Night Steve.”

Tony stepped off the elevator and headed straight for his bed. He knew that saying something like that had been risky. Steve had remained oblivious to his feelings but there was a limit to how long even Steve could remain impervious in the face of Tony’s affections. In this case though, he hadn't been able to let Steve go without letting him know he was loved. The idea that Steve would think that, hurt him in a way he couldn’t really understand. All he knew was that Steve Rogers should never feel that way.

Not that Tony loved him. He just liked him slightly more than the average teammate. Just a teeny-tiny bit. Barely even worth mentioning.

“JARVIS,” he mumbled as he made his way into the bedroom, eyes blinking blearily, “find out more about the children’s hospital in Brooklyn. Do they need any money? Anything we could take care of just let me know.”

“Certainly Sir.”

“Hey J,” he said after a slight pause where he contemplated the amount of effort it would take to get out of his clothes. “What was the probability that you mentioned of Steve actually liking me back?”

“Based on my calculation, it would be 77% Sir.”

“Well shit,” he muttered as he fell face down on the bed, fully clothed and drifted off to sleep.

Tony woke up to the sun shining on his face.

“What time is it Jay?” he asked, yawning as realised he’d fallen asleep in last night's clothes.

“It is currently 11 am in the morning on the 19th of December, Sir. You are in Avengers Tower. Captain Rogers has asked me to let him know when you’re awake.”

Oh shit. Last night came flooding back and Tony groaned as he hid his face in the pillow. What was wrong with him. Could he have been any more obvious? Might as well have gone down on one knee for all the subtlety he had shown. Thank God Steve was completely oblivious or he might have gotten the wrong idea. That Tony was in love with him or something. Which he wasn't. Obviously.

“Sir, Captain Rogers has enquired whether you would like to accompany him to his visit to the children’s hospital today.”

“Wait, hold on. He wants me to go with him?”

“It appears so Sir.”

“Okay, why? I am probably the least equipped to deal with small kids. They’re loud and sticky and don’t take no for an answer.”

“That does sound familiar Sir.”

“You wound me J. Anyway can you ask him if he wants me to bring the suit? Kids love Iron Man so maybe that’s why he wants me tagging along on his Santa mission.”

“The Captain would prefer if you came as Tony Stark.”

“Huh. Well that's a first. Okay tell him I’ll meet him on the common floor in an hour.”

“Captain Rogers says and I quote ‘Stop using your revolutionary AI as a messenger boy Tony and get your ass down here for some breakfast before we leave.’ I must say I agree with him on that one Sir,” said Jarvis and Tony wondered if he was imagining the note of approval in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah. Stop being such mother hens, both of you.“ he said as he got out of bed. He grimaced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was certainly going to be an interesting day.

An hour later, Tony descended the elevator to find Steve waiting for him with a sea of gift bags on the common floor. “What in the world are you wearing?” he asked, jaw dropping open in surprise at the sight before him.

“It’s the festive season Tony. We need to get in the holiday spirit.”

“It looks like Santa puked green and red jelly beans over you Steve. It's an abomination. I can't be seen with you in public if you're gonna wear that,” he gestured to the brightly coloured festive sweater.

“Well I’m sorry to hear that, but I’ve gotten one for you too. I know how much you love staying under the radar so I got you this” he said, eyes twinkling mischievously, as he pulled out a bright red and gold jumper with a robot wrapped in Christmas lights on the front.

“Steeeeve. C’mon. I’m not wearing that,” Tony groaned.

“Please Tony. We have to help spread holiday cheer. Look I even got it in your favourite colours.”

“My favourite colour isn’t red, it's blue,” Tony blurted out.

“Ok but look Tony it has a robot on the front. It’ll look so cute. Please? Just for a couple of hours?” Steve wheedled as he widened his disconcertingly blue eyes pleadingly. And honestly how could anyone say no to that face?

“Oh my God fine, just stop looking at me like that. You know one day people are going to find out Captain America’s deadliest weapon isn't the shield; It's his ridiculous puppy dog eyes.”

“Well the eyes are more of a Steve Rogers speciality,” Steve chuckled.

“The press better not get a picture of me in this or I’m gonna program JARVIS to play “Star Spangled Man with a Plan’ every time you enter a room,” Tony remarked as he pulled on the sweater.

“Sure Tony,” Steve replied, rolling his eyes fondly as he began picking up the gift bags around them. And honestly, it was a crime how good Steve looked even in that dreadful monstrosity. Nobody should look that good, wearing what he was but somehow he managed to pull him off.

“Ready to go?” Steve asked and Tony nodded with a warmth in his chest that he had a feeling had nothing to do with his new sweater.

“Did you just buy the entire children’s section at the mall?” Tony asked hefting about a dozen gift bags in both arms as they made their way inside the hospital.

“This is just half of them. I requested Happy to get the rest that I’d loaded into the trunk before we met,” Steve replied and Tony glared enviously at how easily Steve was carrying all the weight.

“What the hell is even in this? Did you just fill these with the heaviest thing you could find?” Tony groaned as they made their way over to the reception desk.

“Tony, if you stop whining, I’ll buy you a milkshake from your favourite place down the street from here after this.”

“I’m not a kid, you can’t just bribe me with a milkshake Steve,” Tony spluttered. “And how do you even know where my favourite milkshake place is?”

Before Steve could answer they were greeted by the harried looking young receptionist whose name tag read Amanda. Her whole face lit up the moment she saw Steve.

“Oh Steve, I’m so glad you’re here today. Nick was told today that he won’t be discharged in time for Christmas and let’s just say his temper has been contagious.”

Steve gave her the patented Captain America reassuring smile and she visibly relaxed. “Hey, that's okay. I’m here now and I have just the cure for bad moods” he said as he nodded towards the bags.

Amanda smiled. “The kids are going to be so happy to see you Steve, and not just because you got them gifts. Most of them are having a bit of a rough go of it at the moment. I’m sure your visit would bring some much needed holiday cheer.”

“Well, I’m happy to be of service ma’am. This is my friend Tony by the way.”

“--Wait, are you Tony Stark?” she asked, eyes wide. “I thought you looked really familiar but the sweater kind of threw me off. Although I see the connection with the colour scheme now,” she teased.

“Well, what can I say, Steve has a way of sneakily getting people to do what he wants by flashing those sad eyes of his,” Tony replied.

“That he does,” Amanda agreed, amused. “Most of the kids are in the playroom at the moment, although Nick and a few of the older kids are in their rooms. We have a couple of new faces this time,” she informed them as she handed them visitor badges.

“Thanks Mandy, I’ll see you later,” Steve replied as they set off down the hallway.

“So … Mandy huh,” teased Tony and Steve turned to look at him with a frown. “What?” Tony asked when he noticed Steve’s expression.

“Nothing. Natasha was right. You really don’t know,” Steve replied, shaking his head, sadly.

“Know what? What are you talking about?” Tony asked, exasperated. Maybe Steve already had a girlfriend and Tony was the only one in the team who didn't know. Hell maybe Steve was secretly married and Tony was the oblivious idiot with a hopeless crush on him. He didn't know why the thought made him feel so cold all of a sudden. It was probably just the hospital temperature.

Before Steve could answer they were greeted with shouts of “Steve!” as they entered what seemed to be the playroom. He smiled and watched as half a dozen kids ranging from 4 to 10 years of age ran upto Steve and started trying to climb him like a jungle gym while he laughed and let them. A couple of kids hung back, looking over at them warily. Tony guessed that these were the ones who had been admitted more recently and thus had not met Steve, who seemed to have given up on dislodging the kid who had climbed on his back and was now greeting all the kids with a hug. Tony scanned the room, taking in the small colourful tables and chairs arranged throughout the room along with toys strewn all over the place. His eyes landed on a little girl with one arm in a sling playing with Legos who kept glancing at Steve and his bunch of kids as though hoping for a hug but too shy to ask. And honestly it was a weird day when Tony could relate to a 6 year old. He made his way over to her and sat down groaning theatrically as he accidentally sat on a lego piece. The little girl giggled, her two front teeth missing.

“Are you laughing at my pain, young lady,” Tony said in mock affront as the little girl nodded, smiling cheekily.

“So, what have we got here?” he asked, examining the lego tower the girl was painstakingly putting together with only one arm.

“We’re building a tower that is taller than all of us,” she declared.

“Even taller than me?” he asked.

“You’re not very tall,” the girl said matter of factly and Tony snorted. Kids. “We want it to be even taller than your friend over there.”

“Of course you do,” Tony chuckled. “But who’s we?”

“Me and Karl,” she said, gesturing to a small boy, peeking out from behind the bookshelf in the corner. “Karl’s shy. And he doesn’t talk in front of adults.”

“That’s okay. We don’t really need to talk to build something,” Tony replied, talking louder in the hopes it would prompt Karl out of hiding.

He began stacking lego pieces together, sneakily adding more legos to the bottom of the building to make sure the foundation held. He glanced up at Steve from time to time to see him surrounded by kids demanding his attention as they showed him the art they had made and the small Christmas tree that they had apparently decorated. His face practically glowed with happiness as he oohed and aahed at every kid’s art and listened with an adorable pout of concentration on his face as they regaled him with everything that had happened since they had last seen him. Unsurprisingly, even the kids that hadn’t met Steve before had also been drawn in and were now a part of the Steve Rogers fan club.

He was stacking legos on top of each other and handing them to Sasha to put on the tower when he noticed movement in the corner of his eyes. Karl had come out of his hiding place and was now sitting half in front of the bookshelf, warily eyeing Tony to see how he would react. Tony’s heart ached as he pretended not to notice and kept on chatting with Sasha as their tower slowly started growing in height. The tower had just reached Sasha’s height sitting down when he felt a green Lego piece fall into his lap. He realised that Karl had crawled closer and was now sitting next to him although his body was still angled away from Tony. He felt like his heart had grown 3 sizes at the show of trust from this scared little boy. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it and cause him to retreat again, Tony quietly added the piece to their construction and patiently waited as Karl handed him more green coloured Legos.

“Figures I’d find you here, building something.”

Tony looked up after a while, startled to see Steve standing next to them, a sleeping toddler held in his arms.

“Well this one is going to be taller than you apparently,” Tony informed him. “Hopefully you’ll like the design better than you liked our tower. What did you call it? The big ugly building in New York huh?,” Tony teased.

“You’re never going to let that go are you?” Steve asked, carefully depositing the toddler in the hands of a nurse.

“Nope,” Tony replied, smirking. “Karl here has quite the eye for design and Sasha is a solid engineer. I should just get these two to build the next Stark Industries office. I can probably pay them in candy,” he said as Sasha giggled and even Karl gave him a shy smile.

“Can I borrow your chief engineer for some time ma’am?” Steve asked Sasha.

“Okay but bring him back quickly,” she said and Steve promised he would.

“What’s up Cap?” Tony asked as he let himself be pulled up on his feet.

“I was just planning to visit the older kids and give them their presents. Would you like to come with me?”

“Oh god, I remember what Amanda said. You just don’t want to go into the lion’s den alone don’t you?” Tony asked.

“Well, there’s always safety in numbers. And you and I make a good team,” Steve added as he led them down the hallway to where the older kids rooms were.

“I just need to send a quick message. I'll join you in a minute,” Tony said as he got out his phone to text Happy as Steve knocked twice and entered the room.

Pocketing his phone, he lingered unnoticed in the doorway of the brightly coloured room to see a blonde haired boy who looked to be about 13, lying on the hospital bed and hooked up to various monitors. He looked like he was half asleep though he made a valiant effort to sit up the moment he saw Steve. A woman who looked so much like him and was most likely his mother sat next to his bed with a plate of food in hand, apparently in the middle of coaxing him to eat.

“Oh it’s you, Steve.” she smiled tiredly in recognition. She looked exhausted, dark circles rimming her eyes and her posture slumped on the stool.

“How’re we doing today?” Steve asked, nodding towards the kid who despite probably being a teenager looked so tiny in the hospital bed.

“Fine,” the kid replied sulkily.

“He’s actually reacting very well to the new treatment. They just need to keep him for a few more days for observation, just to be sure. We're just a little grumpy, we won’t be home for Christmas,” she added, smiling fondly at him.

“Well I may have somebody here who might cheer you up,” Steve smiled as he gestured for Tony to enter the room.

The kid’s jaw dropped open in surprise as he immediately tried to fix his bed head.

“Oh wow, are you really him?” the woman exclaimed. “Nick, look, it's Tony Stark,” she said, turning excitedly to the kid.

“I know mom I’m looking”, Nick replied. “Of course I meet Tony Stark the day I refuse a sponge bath,” he muttered as Tony snorted in amusement.

“It’s so nice to meet you Tony. I’m Rhonda, Nick’s mom. He’s a huge fan of yours. He loves tinkering with any machine he can find. He’s even built a robot that won first prize at the national robotics competition” she told him, eyes shining with pride.

“Mooooom stop,” Nick groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “This is Tony Stark. He doesn’t want to hear about the stupid robotics competition.”

“Actually I would very much like to hear about the robotics competition,” Tony said as he took a seat next to the bed.

“He actually really does,” Steve added. “Nothing gets Tony more excited than robots,” he said, smiling reassuringly at the kid.

Nick started explaining how his kitchen helper bot worked, hesitantly at first and then gaining speed as Tony listened carefully and asked questions. It was heartwarming to see his face light up as he talked about his project. He was clearly a very smart kid.

“Okay maybe Tony could introduce you to his bots on his phone,” Steve suggested after a while just as Nick finished his explanation of the decision making algorithm he had used for his bot. “And maybe, you can have lunch while you chat, Don’t you think so Tony,” Steve added, slyly as Tony nodded.

“Ugh, fine” he complained but he took the plate from Rhonda and Tony connected to the video feed of the workshop where the bots seemed to be playing a game of tag as they zoomed around.

Nick’s eyes were glued to the screen, fascinated by the bots and Steve nudged him to eat a little more as Tony introduced him to the bots and regaled him with stories of their various mishaps in the workshop.

By the time he turned it off, Nick had eaten over half his meal so Tony considered it a success as Rhonda smiled at them gratefully.

“Oh wait, I got you a Christmas present,” Steve remembered suddenly as he picked up the bag he had kept at the foot of the bed.

On hearing the word Christmas, Nick’s expression instantly soured as he crossed his arms angrily.

“I don’t want any gifts. I just want to go home,” he said, voice cracking.

Shit, the kid was probably going to cry. Tony felt panic rising. He had to fix this somehow but he had no idea what to say. He didn’t need to worry though because Steve appeared to have got it covered.

“Hey buddy,” Steve said gently as he moved closer to the bed, gently patting the kid's hand. “I know exactly how you’re feeling. I spent the majority of my childhood in and out of hospitals just like you. I know how endless these stays can seem. It feels like you’re always going to end up back here sooner or later. And I know it’s scary. All these machines and wires and all the crying kids. I used to be so scared when I’d be in the hospital alone when Ma had to go to work.”

“You used to be scared?” Nick asked looking up at Steve with awe, like he couldn’t believe it.

“Of course I was. This can be a scary place. And you’ve been very brave for a very long time. You just need to hold on and be brave for a little while longer okay? We’re almost at the end of the mission bud, extraction is just around the corner. Will you do that for me? I’m counting on you buddy,” Steve said.

“I’ll be brave Steve, you can count on me,” Nick replied, his thin chest puffing out with pride.

“I know you will. Maybe you could practice your Mario Kart skills while you’re here. If I remember correctly I beat you 3-0 last time didn’t I?” Steve teased as they began to argue back and forth about who had won and whether it counted as winning when one party apparently seemed to have a loose understanding of the sportsman spirit.

Tony watched them banter back and forth fondly. Steve was so good with kids. He knew exactly what to say to make them feel better. He knew how much Steve hated hospitals and the memories associated with them. But he still willingly spent so much time here just to cheer up the kids. And wasn’t that just like Steve. To always want to help, to make things better no matter the personal cost. He was interrupted from his musing by Steve whispering as he pointed out that Nick had fallen asleep.

“And how are you doing?” Steve asked as he turned to Rhonda who was gently stroking Nick’s hair.

“I’m okay,” she replied. “Or at least I will be. As long as he can get the treatment he needs and gets better the rest can all be figured out.”

“You know the offer still stands,” Steve said, giving her a meaningful look.

“I know Steve, but I think we’re going to be okay, I just got a second job so that should help with the bills. I don’t need the money but … can I please have a hug?” she asked as she stood up and stepped into Steve’s waiting arms. Steve rubbed her back as she melted into his arms and they all pretended not to hear the sniffling.

“Sorry, it’s just been a while since somebody asked me how I was,” she said as she stepped back and Steve smiled kindly at her.

“He fell asleep before he could open his gift,” Tony pointed out. He carefully removed the gift from Nick’s hands without disturbing him.

“I’ll make sure to send you a video of his reaction when he opens it,” Rhonda assured them. “Thank you so much, both of you. He’s usually such a brave little boy but today’s news just hit him so hard. We had plans for a big combined Christmas and homecoming party for him but it looks like we might have to postpone that for a bit. I was having such a hard time convincing him to do anything today but you guys cheered him up and even got him to eat something. I can’t thank you enough.”

“It was nothing,” Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck, self consciously. “We better get going. We have a few more kids to meet,” Steve said as he hugged her goodbye and they stepped into the corridor.

“You’re so good with kids,” Tony said as the door shut behind them.

“Not really,” Steve said, suddenly self conscious.

“Oh come on. I saw you with the kids outside. They clearly love you. And with Nick just now. You’re clearly the kid-whisperer or something.”

“I guess I just know what it's like. Hospitals can make you feel helpless. Like you have no control over what's happening to you. Most conversations you have center around your health and how you’re feeling. I just like to come in and distract them with something. So for a couple of hours they’re not constantly reminded about being sick and can just be kids.”

“You’re such a sucker for them,” Tony said, smiling softly.

“Says you,” Steve replied.

“Hey what is that supposed to mean?” Tony asked.

“Did you or did you not text Happy to get a bucket full of green legos because you know for some reason Karl only plays with the green ones and you know he’s going to run out soon?”

“What the hell, how did you know that?” Tony asked, peering up at Steve suspiciously.

“Well, I just know you better than you think.”

“Says the man who lost an arm-wrestling match to a 6 year old with an arm the size of a twig,” Tony teased as Steve smiled bashfully.

“What can I say, kid’s got an arm,” Steve shrugged and Tony snorted.

“So what say we visit the rest of the kids and then I take you out for milkshakes like I promised?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Tony replied as he set off behind Steve, wondering why if this was just a crush then why does his heart feel like it had grown three sizes.

“Okay so are we ready?” Tony asked the team a few days later. They had assembled on the common floor before they had to leave for the annual Christmas party and they all looked mostly dressed.

“We’ve been waiting on you Stark,” Clint said, fiddling with his tie and clearly uncomfortable.

“It takes time to look this good Katniss,” Tony quipped as he surveyed the room. “I must say we all clean up quite nicely. Barton even looks like he could pass for a human being,” Tony teased as he looked around the room. Thor, Clint and Tony were wearing suits while Natasha looked stunning in a red and black dress. Bruce looked dapper in a white dress shirt although he looked like he was going to vibrate out of his skin with nerves. Stuffy gatherings with rich people showboating was probably his least favourite idea of an evening out. And honestly, despite all the flirting and glad handing that people thought came naturally to him, parties like these were definitely not Tony’s idea of a good time either. He’d rather just wear his greasy tank top and tinker on the new repulsor design with the bots. Or watch a classic movie with Steve - speaking of which, Tony’s heart skipped a beat as their eyes met. Dressed in a blue shirt that looked like it had been painted on, Steve looked gorgeous, the colour bringing out his eyes.

“You look really good Tony,” Steve said and Tony’s face felt a little warm. Decades of flirting it up with the best of them, having heard the filthiest things whispered to his ear, of course it would be a simple compliment from Steve that would make his heart stutter and his face pink.

“Okay if Mom and Dad have had enough of staring into each other’s eyes, can we go now?” Clint whined and Steve abruptly looked away, suddenly interested in the flooring.

“As much as I hate to agree with anything coming out of Clint’’s mouth, I have to agree. Let’s just get this over with,” Natasha said as she slipped into her heels.

“I don’t understand why you guys are complaining so much,” said Thor, struggling with his tie until Bruce took pity on him and helped him out. “Your parties are not all bad.”

“That’s because you literally just stay glued next to the chocolate fountain the whole time,” Bruce pointed out as Thor shrugged, unapologetic.

“Well of course I do. It’s a most ingenious invention. I must take one back with me to Asgard. Heimdall would love it so,” Thor grinned.

“What are you not telling us Tony?” Steve asked and Tony sighed. Of course Steve would know something was up.

“Okay so I wanted to suggest a teeny-tiny change in the plan for today,” Tony said, rubbing his hands together, suddenly nervous.

“And what is this change of plan?” Natasha asked her dark eyes boring into him as though she could see right through him.

“That we, um … just don’t go?”

“Wait, what?” Clint asked, surprised and Bruce looked this was the best thing he’d heard all week.

“Tony, this party has been planned for months. The press is going to be there. I’m pretty sure the Defense Secretary is going to be there too, not to mention half of SHIELD. And more importantly, what about Pepper?” Steve said.

“I’ve talked to Pep. And well, saying she was mad would be an understatement but when I explained what I wanted to do, she got on board. Eventually.”

“And what exactly is it that you want to do instead of going to this party?”

“Well I’m not saying we shouldn't go to a party. I’m just saying let’s go to a different one. I know some people whose Christmas isn't going the way they would have expected so I was thinking we should bring the party to them.” Tony said and Steve looked up sharply.

“You want us to go to the hospital don’t you?” Steve asked, understanding dawning in his eyes.

“Yes,” Tony answered Steve before he turned to the rest of the team “Steve took me along on his monthly visits to the children’s hospitals a few days ago and we met some amazing kids.They were really bummed out about being stuck in the hospital for Christmas, so I thought we could go visit and have a little Christmas party with them. Pepper basically took over the whole thing when I mentioned the idea so they should have set up the food and the decorations by now.”

“Aww Stark you do have a heart,” Clint joked as Natasha smiled softly at him.

“Can I just say, Fury is going to murder you,” she said.

“Honestly, that’s just a normal Tuesday for him. And I’ll put in an appearance at the party later in the night,” Tony assured her.

“Okay but does this mean I can change out of these clothes?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah, let’s just meet back here in 15,” Natasha decided as they all traipsed towards the elevator to go back to their own floors. Well everyone except Steve who was looking at Tony with an inscrutable expression on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Tony asked, unable to bear the silence any longer.

“I love you,” Steve blurted out, covering his mouth with his hand as though he was shocked by what he had just said.

Tony’s eyes widened.

“You what?” Tony asked, unable to make sense of what he had just heard.

Steve nodded to himself like had come to some sort of decision as he moved to stand in front of Tony. “I love you, Tony” and Tony couldn’t help but let out a snort in disbelief.

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to laugh but it's just so absurd. You can’t be in love with me.”

“And why not?” Steve asked, hotly. And of course that would make him angry. Steve Rogers had never taken it well when someone told him he couldn’t do something.

“Because, well because I’m in love with you” Tony exclaimed. And as much as Tony would like to pretend that that had come from nowhere, he knew deep down that it was true. He was in love with Steve. He had been in love with Steve. Kind, funny, brave Steve who made Tony want to be the best version of himself. And who apparently was in love with Tony. Huh.

Steve’s face broke out into the biggest grin, his face lighting up with joy. But Tony couldn’t help but feel a little niggling doubt. “But why?” he asked.

“Why what?”

“Why do you love me? I mean you’re you. You could have anybody.”

“You have no idea what you do to me do you?” Steve said, shaking his head. “You help me be more me Tony. It’s like everything is so much better when you’re with me. It’s brighter like somebody increased the resolution. And you have the biggest heart Tony. Your - “

“Okay okay, you don’t need to list them all now. I get it, you think I’m the best thing in the 21st century,” said Tony, overwhelmed by Steve’s words and his sincerity.

“Well maybe the next best thing. I mean electric blankets are pretty awesome,” said Steve and Tony laughed. He was so in love with this ridiculous man.

“I think I need one to two business days to process what just happened,” Tony said.

“Tony,” Steve chided softly and that was all the warning he got before Steve’s mouth was on his. Tony had kissed many people in his life but with Steve it felt like his whole body was lighting up from the inside. Like all his nerve endings were spiking while a warmth spread through his body from head to toe.

“It’s the holidays. Business days start back up in January,” Steve said as they broke apart, smiling giddily at each other.

“I guess I could be persuaded to wait till then,” Tony said and Steve chuckled.

“Oh my God, my eyes,” someone said as they separated to see the entire team along with Rhodey standing there staring at them. Thor, who was wearing a Santa suit complete with fake white beard, wolf whistled and Steve blushed adorably.

“Well I guess it’s about time,” Natasha said. “I had my money on Tony not getting his head out of his ass till New Years at the earliest but I didn’t realise the hospital visit would speed things up quite a bit.”

“I’m so glad. I can finally stop hearing Tony moaning about how much he loves Steve on every call now,” Rhodey said as he came over to hug Tony.

“Just a crush my ass,” he said as he shook Steve’s hand and one by one the rest of the team came over to congratulate them. Everybody had just been waiting for them to get their act together apparently.

And as he looked over at his family and at Steve, laughing as Clint held out his hand for a fist bump, Tony thought that he couldn't have found a more perfect solution to the Steve Rogers problem.