Archive of Our Own

Cold air hit Minho's lungs as he threw open the door to the roof of his apartment building.  He walked closer and closer to the edge, wondering how quickly he'd hit the bottom if he jumped off.

After being rejected for the choreographer position from the third company in a row, Minho was nearing his wits end. He didn't want to be a backup dancer forever, there was no job security and he wanted to create his own routines! But clearly he was just a failure and it's not like he had any friends around who would miss him.

Minho peered over the edge, and instantly felt dizzy.

Oh. 

That was very high up.

His acrophobia took over his thoughts for a moment, and managed to clear his head a little.

'No, wait, I can't kill myself,' Minho thought, 'who would feed my cats? And my parents would be devastated. Grandma too.'

Slowly, he backed away from the edge of the building.

Then a voice called out, startling him.

"I wouldn't stand so close if I were you, you might fall."

What- Minho could've sworn he was alone! His head whipped around, looking for the source of the voice. He saw a man, sitting on the ground near the door. There was some sort of smoke circling by his face, and Minho realized the rooftop smelled terrible. Not like cigarettes, but something different.

"H-Hello?" Minho called out nervously.

"Hi!" the stranger said back, "what are you doing up here anyways?"

"I, uh, I needed some air."

"Leaning over the edge? Why?"

"It's- well it's complicated- there's a lot- I don't even know you," Minho stammered.

"Dude," the stranger said, "I'm high as fuck right now, there's a good chance I'm not going to remember any of this. Just vent it out, you'll feel better."

Minho walked closer and the man's face came into focus. And the smell got stronger as well. 

And he started talking. His voice was slow and shaky at first, but soon as he added on more and more things that had built up to this, soon he was standing right in front of the man, venting loudly and from there he just went into a full meltdown, crying and dumping his insecurities on this very kind stranger.

"Damn, that sounds rough," the stranger said, and held up his hand, where Minho saw a blunt between his fingers, "want a hit?"

"Um."

"It's just weed. It won't kill you. I promise. You can trust me."

And Minho decided 'fuck it' and accepted the blunt, sitting down next to the stranger.

"You know this is illegal right?" Minho said.

The stranger just giggled. "Our little secret~"

Minho had never smoked anything before. But how hard could it be? You just inhale it, right?

Wrong, apparently. Minho tried to inhale from the blunt and just ended up coughing up half a lung.

"You're doing it wrong," the stranger said with a laugh, "here lemme show how to do it properly."

He gave Minho a short tutorial and then had him try again. Minho still coughed, but not at much this time. And it didn't take long for his body to just completely relax, mind feeling spacey and calm.

"It tastes nasty," was the first thing Minho said, and the stranger laughed even more.

"Yeah, it does, you just have to get used to it."

Minho then realized he hadn't even introduced himself, even after treating this mysterious man like a therapist.

"I'm Minho, by the way," he said, "I live in 507."

"Bang Chan, 315" the stranger replied, "cracker?"

Chan held up a sleeve of saltine crackers, and Minho suddenly realized he was quite hungry. He took several and started eating rather quickly.

"Careful," Chan warned, "it's easy to overeat when you get the munchies. Wouldn't want you to get a bellyache once you sober up."

"Oh...thanks for the tip."

Chan then went into a story about a friend of his who once kept eating and eating and later couldn't move because of how badly his stomach hurt.

Minho kept giggling throughout the story because it was just so funny and this Chan guy was super funny. 

Chan took another drag from the blunt, and then asked, "so you said you're a backup dancer, right? Is that what you do for a living?"

"What?" Minho asked back.

"Twenty questions, c'mon let's play it. Some cute stranger is high with me and I wanna know more about him."

So Minho talked about his dreams of owning his own studio one day, and creating choreography for successful artists and idols. Talked about how he hadn't gone to college, because he's in his prime years of fitness and getting a dance degree is kind of a waste of time and money when he could be out dancing and gaining experience instead. Talked about enjoying the backup dancing gig, but knowing it's not a long-term gig.

Chan was able to relate with Minho's frustrations, because he made music. He’d been building up a portfolio for a while, hoping to join a company as a producer. But in the meantime, he worked at a grocery store to pay the bills. And he smoked weed to help with stress and to help him sleep.

“Although I’m gonna have to quit for a couple weeks,” Chan said, “my tolerance is getting too high.”

“Wait, can you do that?” Minho questioned.

“What, quit cold turkey? Yeah, it’s not chemically addicting. Although you can get emotionally dependant, but that’s different. I’ve quit several times before though. Okay next question- do you have any pets?”

“Three cats, you?”

“Well I don’t, but my family has a dog. She’s very cute and soft. Okay you think of a question.”

“Okay um…” Minho trailed off into a giggle, “you called me cute earlier. Do you like guys?”

“Yeah. And girls. I swing both ways. Violently, with a bat.” Chan let out his own giggle. “I’m just kidding, there’s no bat. You?”

“Just the gay way...hehe ‘gay way’ that rhymes…”

And they both just burst into laughter.

They kept swapping questions, the topics getting more random and weirdly specific (‘what’s a food that you can only eat a certain way?” “Well I like peanut butter but not peanuts, does that count?” “Sure, why not.”). Eventually, the spacey feeling started to go away, and when Minho finally checked the time he was shocked to see how late it had gotten.

“Crap, I’ve got an early rehearsal tomorrow for a promotional showcase,” he said, standing up “I gotta get to bed. Um, it was really nice meeting you. Thanks for, uh, all of this."

Chan stood up as well. "I should get to bed too, mind if I walk with you to your door? It's kind of on my way anyways."

"If you want," Minho replied with a shrug, "I don't mind."

As they headed back down into the building, Chan asked Minho about his cats, which led to a long tangent that still wasn't finished by the time they reached Minho's apartment.

Once they got to the door, Chan asked Minho how he was feeling.

 "Well I don't think I'm high anymore, so I'll be okay" Minho responded, "what about you? You seemed to be smoking a lot."

"Oh I'm fine, I know what I'm doing. If you ever wanna smoke again just stop by, it's always more fun with someone else," Chan said.

"Um... I'll keep that in mind, thanks." 

And with that Minho waved goodbye, and headed inside his apartment and went to bed.

Minho wasn’t really expecting to visit Chan again, but then he had a day where he was just... on edge . His anxiety was just acting up out of nowhere and he couldn’t calm down. It was a perfect example of the analogy of hearing video game boss music without there being any boss around.

So he headed down to apartment 315 and knocked on the door.

Then immediately realized this was probably a stupid idea. Chan might not even be home! What if he ended up waiting here for hours? He should just head back upstairs-

The door of the apartment opened, and Chan appeared, smiling.

“Oh, hey! Come on in!

Minho stepped inside and noted his surprise that the apartment didn’t smell like marijuana.

Chan laughed and explained that he only smoked outside- or opened the window in his bedroom when it got too cold.

“The smell would absolutely get me caught, so I gotta be careful y’know?” he explained.

“Oh I see….are you high now?” Minho asked, curious.

“No, I’m not,” Chan replied with another chuckle, and Minho did notice that he wasn’t as relaxed as he had been the night they met, “I will probably smoke later though to help me sleep…….is that why you came over?”

Minho shyly nodded, and quietly mentioned his anxiety acting up and wanting to take the edge off.

Chan nodded in understanding and beckoned for Minho to follow him. They walked into what must have been Chan’s bedroom. Chan sat on the bed and opened the window right beside it.

“Like I mentioned, if it’s too cold I just smoke out the window. Or on days where I just don’t feel like going outside,” he said.

Then Chan opened the small drawer of his bedside table and pulled out a box. Minho peered into the box and saw a bag of loose weed and a few blunts. Minho also noticed there was a weird glass object and a strange contraption. Minho asked what they were, and Chan answered “oh, that’s a glass pipe and a weed grinder.”

Minho really should have guessed they were marijuana-related tools.

Chan pulled out one of the blunts and lit it, taking a long drag. Then as he exhaled out the window, he passed the blunt to Minho, who took a drag as well- he still coughed, but not as much as the first time. After a few minutes, the familiar feel of the high hit and Minho let out a relaxed sigh. He leaned back against Chan, ultimately ending up laying back across his lap. Minho ended up more or less venting again (although he didn’t cry this time at least), talking about how difficult the industry could be, how some of the other dancers could act a bit catty at times and really competitive, about the idols he’d danced for and how most of them were quite nice but there were a couple that were kind of bratty.

They just spent what fet like hours cuddling on top of Chan’s bed, and it was nice. As Chan’s arms wrapped around Minho’s body, Minho noticed for the first time how firm they were.

“Do you hit the gym? I hadn’t noticed how buff your arms are.”

Chan snickered, “yeah, like three times a week. It’s not just my arms though, wanna see?”

Before Minho could even protest Chan had taken off his hoodie, showing a silhouette of firm pecs and solid abs underneath his shirt.

“Oh wow,” Minho said, in a fit of giggles, “you’re hot .”

He started dragging his hands across Chan’s chest, until Chan batted him away because “that tickles!”

Chan offered to take the shirt off too and Minho started cackling, “that’s so bold oh my god!”

They just kept laughing and laughing for the next few minutes, everything was so amusing Minho had now completely forgotten what he’d even been anxious about in the first place.

He ended up falling asleep there- in his defense, Chan shifted to start spooning him and ended up falling asleep first. And he was clinging rather tightly so Minho was not able to escape without the risk of waking im. And then it just felt very warm and cozy, before Minho knew it his eyes just felt so heavy and he couldn’t keep them open anymore.

And when Minho woke up the next moing, he still felt rather cozy. After a small moment of panic in not being in his own room, Minho remembered what had happened the day before and looked over to see a still passed out Chan right next to him. He was drooling. It was kind of endearing.

Minho reached over and gently shook Chan’s shoulder. When Chan didn’t budge, he shook him again, more aggressively. 

This got Chan to stir, and the other man seemed surprised that he was not alone in his bed.

“Oh, you’re still here?” he asked.

“Well I would have gone home, but someone fell asleep and wouldn’t let go,” Minho answered, raising an eyebrow.

Chan blushed a little and laughed sleepily, “whoops. I’ve been told I’m clingy when I’m asleep. Sorry about that.”

They both got up, Chan had work later so he had to be up anyways. And Minho quickly headed home, needing a shower and to feed his cats breakfast. Before he headed out though, Chan made sure Minho got his number, so he could text him a heads up next time he needed to get high again.

“Or like, just hang out in general, you’re pretty cool,” Chan added on, smiling a little.

For a while, Minho was too busy to consider texting Chan, although even when he did have time he kept feeling rather nervous about sending the man a message.

But then, he got a text from his boss. A text that said, “I need to talk to you.”

Oh no. Oh no no no. Not the ‘we need to talk’ message.

Minho’s brain, of course, immediately jumped to the worst case scenario; obviously he was getting fired and he wasn’t going to be able to pay rent or take care of his cats and he was going to be out on the streets and- oh god he couldn’t breathe.

It had been months since his last anxiety attack, what was he even supposed to do again? The panic of not knowing what to do just made everything worse, and soon Minho found himself sitting in the fetal position and trying to breathe in slowly but utterly failing and hyperventilating even more. He called his cats over, and when Soonie came into sight Minho picked him up and cuddled him close, hoping that having him around would help.

And then pulled out his phone and decided to text Chan, because if there was ever a time he needed something to relax it was now. Plus, he didn’t really have any other friends. The message was a blur of typos, but he essentially asked ‘are you working right now?’.

Chan’s reply was almost immediate.

From: Chan

Just clocked out, why?

To: Chan

Havign an attac need hepl

From: Chan

Oh shit r u ok? Do u need me to come over?

To: Chan

Yes 507 codr is 98425

From: Chan

Ok omw

Minho wasn’t sure how long it took, but eventually his door was thrown open and Chan burst in, rushing over to Minho who was unfortunately still struggling to catch his breath.

“Hey what do you need me to do?” Chan asked, concern in his voice.

“I- I don’t know I’m usually alone for these- but it’s been so long-”

“Okay, okay I’m gonna need you take deep breaths, okay?”

“What- what do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past thirty minutes?!”

“Alright, plan B. Um...what if I just talked and you listened? Taking your mind away from the problem could help, right?”

“I- I don’t know, but it’s- it’s worth a try.”

So Chan took a seat and tugged Minho closer, resting his head on his shoulder, and just started rambling; telling a story about a ridiculous customer he had to deal with while at work. Minho closed his eyes and listened closely, and sure enough his breathing started to even out again after a while.

"....and then the lady said 'so you're not going to help me?' and I said 'no, the cold case is closed sorry'. And I thought she was about to verbally rip me a new asshole, but she just walked away! Crazy, right? Oh hey, you sound like you've calmed down now," Chan said.

Minho just nodded.

Chan kept talking, "hey y'know my friends are coming over later, we're gonna get stoned and watch Cats. Wanna join?"

"Uh, sure," Minho said, mainly agreeing because anything was better than being alone with his thoughts.

 "Sweet! Changbin's bringing brownies, it's gonna be fun."

"Brownies?"

"Yeah, pot brownies. Jisung hates smoking so he only does edibles. And Changbin makes really good brownies."

They got up, Minho gave his cats dinner real quick, and they headed down to Chan's place.

On the way Chan asked what triggered the attack, and Minho told him about the text.

"Oh man, yeah I don't blame you," Chan said sympathetically, "those texts are always so cryptic and you can never decipher the tone. I'm sure it's nothing bad though! And even if it is, I bet you're really talented and could find work anywhere."

Chan had a very kind and sweet smile on his face as he spoke, and Minho felt his face heat up a little bit. He still barely knew Chan but he was already proving to be someone Minho could trust. 

They got to Chan's apartment, and Minho sat on the large sofa while Chan brought out some snacks he had bought for the evening.

About 30 minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Chan opened it to reveal two young men. One of them was holding a glass dish- most likely the brownies, and the other held bags from a takeout place.

"Jisung you better not eat too much this time, I am not dealing with your post-high stomachaches again," Chan said, stepping aside to let them in.

"Ah hyung it was one time!" the slightly taller man- presumably Jisung- said.

Then Jisung and the other guy noticed Minho was there. He waved awkwardly.

"Who's this?" the shorter man holding the brownies asked.

"Oh that's Minho, he lives a couple floors up," Chan responded, "we met on the roof a few weeks ago. He's a newbie to weed so we gotta be careful with how much we give him, alright? Minho this is Changbin, and that's Jisung."

Changbin just gave Chan a sly look. 

"No," Chan said, glaring at him, "I know what you're thinking and it's not like that."

"He's cute~" Jisung said. 

Changbin elbowed him in the side. "Dude, you have a boyfriend."

"What? Dating Hyunjin doesn't take away my eyes. You sure do pick the pretty ones hyung," Jisung said, rubbing his side where Changbin had hit him.

"It's not what you're thinking oh my god," Chan groaned, dragging a hand down his face, "just come give me the food and get comfortable."

It seemed 'getting comfortable' meant 'try to get to know the new guy', as Jisung and Changbin started berating Minho with questions.

"So how long have you known Channie-hyung?"

"What do you do for a living?"

"How old are you?"

"Are you wearing makeup or are you literally just that good looking?"

"What do you think of hyung? He's also good looking."

"Is this your first time getting high?"

Overwhelmed, Minho gave Chan a panicked look, silently pleading 'help' .

Chan reached over the back of the couch and yanked on Changbin and Jisung's ears.

"Leave him alone," he scolded, while the other two whined in pain, "he's had a rough day and he doesn't need an interrogation."

"Okay okay sorry!"

"Yeah, we'll stop!"

Chan walked around and set some bowls of chips on the coffee table, and set down the dish with the brownies. Changbin reached forward and grabbed a brownie for each of them.

"I'm not sure if hyung mentioned this, but edibles don't work as quickly, since it takes longer to get into your bloodstream," Changbin said, "so just eat this and wait like an hour, don't take more thinking it isn't working."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know," Minho said. 

Chan then picked up the remote and sat down, squeezing himself between Minho and Jisung.

"Hey!" Jisung exclaimed, annoyed at the slight relocation, but Chan just stuck his tongue out at him.

"This is my buddy, and I wanna sit next to him," was Chan's response.

"So, are we gonna put on the movie?" Minho asked.

"Not yet," Chan said, "I wanna be high the whole time, let's watch a couple episodes of Food Wars first."

"Seriously? Not your dumb weeb show again," Changbin complained.

"My house, my rules, we're watching Food Wars."

By the time they were halfway through the second episode, Jisung said "ohh I think it's starting to hit."

"Yeah," Changbin agreed, "it's definitely getting there."

Minho did noticed he was starting to feel relaxed again. 

Chan paused the episode. "Movie time?"

"Yeah, movie time. I wanna see if this makes any more sense while high as it did when I saw it sober," Jisung replied.

Chan looked at Minho, who gave him a thumbs up. And so Chan put on the movie.

Minho couldn't say much about the film, mainly because he had no fucking clue what was going on the entire time.

"Why are these cats people. I mean- why are these people cats. I mean- I don't even know what I mean."

"Ffffuuuuck if I know," Chan said, "Jisung?"

"It's the furry agenda," Jisung replied with a serious face, "they're taking over."

"Your mom's a furry," said Changbin with a snicker.

"Chan's a furry," said Jisung.

"I am a furry," said Chan.

"Chan is furry?" asked Minho.

The other three all burst into giggles, and Minho didn't know what was so funny but he laughed along as well.

He tried to go back to focusing on the movie. He could not focus on the movie. What the fuck was going on.

What Minho did know was that at some point his head leaned over to rest on Chan’s shoulder. It was a very comfy shoulder. And Chan had started lightly hugging Minho’s waist as well.

Once the movie ended, Changbin asked aloud “so did anyone understand any of that?”

In response he got a collection of: “No.” “Not really.” “Not even a little bit.”

“It made even less sense than when I was sober,” Jisung said, a look of total confusion across his face.

“Pick a better movie next time,” said Changbin.

“Fight me.”

“Are my cats going to start singing to me now?” Minho asked no one in particular.

“Pass the chips, I’m hungry,” Chan said, reaching out towards the bowl.

“Grab them yourself,” Jisung replied.

“But I’m holding a Minho and you’re closer,” Chan reasoned.

Jisung let out a groan, “okay fiiine, lazy butt.”

“Chan, do my cats know how to sing?” Minho asked Chan, still off in his own little world and not paying attention.

“I don’t know,” Chan answered, “you can ask them.”

“I will,” Minho declared, “I will ask them.”

“We should watch Aristocats,” Changbin noted.

“Do you have Disney+?” Chan questioned.

Changbin just ignored Chan, “Next time, we will watch Aristocats.”

“I have Aristocats,” Minho said.

The other three all looked at him.

“What?” Minho asked, feeling self conscious, “is there something on my face? Have I become furry??”

The night continued, and more brownies were eaten. Although Minho was not given another. But Chan did break off a piece of his brownie, just to keep the high going a little longer.

And for the rest of the might, they all just hung out. Chan continued to cuddle up with Minho, and Changbin and Jisung did not shy away from commenting on how kinda gay it was.

“Yes I am gay,” Minho just said, “how could you tell?”

Once again, his genuinely serious response sent the other three into a fit of giggles.

After it got fairly late, Changbin and Jisung had to head out, the both of them mostly sobered up at that point. Minho was sober as well. Chan, however, had eaten a third brownie and was still absolutely baked.

It was Chan falling asleep for the other two to say “well that’s our cue. Nice meeting you, Chan’s pretty ‘friend’.”

The word “friend” was given actual air quotes, which just left Minho confused. He tried asking what they meant, but they both just snickered as they left the apartment.

Minho had to leave too, and nudged Chan to get him to wake up.

“Chan, I guarantee sleeping on the couch is going to be bad for your back. C’mon, get up and go to bed.”

Chan just flung out his arms. “Carry me.”

Minho sighed, “alright, I’ll certainly try.”

He picked Chan up in a fireman carry, and walked into his room, depositing him onto his bed.

“Night night baby….” Chan mumbled sleepily, and it caught Minho off guard because what the hell??

He wrote it off as just Chan being high, and went back home to his own bed.

Chan had been right- the text wasn't bad news at all. Minho felt a little silly for reacting so badly, but it wasn’t exactly his fault that his brain overthought everything that could possibly be perceived as negative.

What his boss wanted to talk about was the fact that Minho had mentioned wanting to be a choreographer, and asked if he had applied to the company that he was dancing for.

“I was thinking about it,” Minho answered, “but the company isn’t hiring right now.”

“Well if you do, I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you,” his boss said, “you have quite the talent.”

“Thank you!” Minho replied, “it means a lot to hear that from you!”

His boss shook his hand and sent Minho on his way.

Then a week later, he got a text from Chan asking him to come over.

To: Chan

To get high?

From: Chan

LOL no just 2 hang out :)

To: Chan

Oh ok sure

So Minho headed down to Chan’s apartment.

When he got there, Chan opened the door and just said “great, you’re here! Let’s go get lunch!”

“Um okay….where are we going?” Minho asked.

“There’s a really good ramyeon place I like going to, sound good?”

Once they were at the noodle place, Chan asked about the whole text debacle, and Minho told him it ended up being something positive, not negative.

“Hey that’s great!” Chan said cheerfully, “told you it wouldn’t be something bad.”

“Yeah...guess I got worked up over nothing,” Minho replied.

“Well it wasn’t nothing , it was a panic inducing sort of message. Your reaction was completely valid.”

“Thanks Chan….wait, should I call you Chan? Are you older or younger than me? Do I need to call you hyung?”

“Well, how old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”

“I’m twenty-four.”

“So you are my hyung then.”

“I mean, I don’t particularly care, but if you wanna call me hyung go ahead.”

“Okay then, Chan-hyung.”

They continued to chat while they ate, talking about random different topics, finding out they had a lot of similar tastes in choices of content. After about an hour, they walked back to Chan’s place.

When they walked in, they found that Changbin and Jisung were already chilling inside.

“I gave you guys the code for emergencies,” Chan said.

“We ran out of weed,” Jisung replied.

“Ugh, fine,” Chan sighed, “I’ll text Kogi.”

“Kogi?” Minho asked.

“Go Minsoo, he’s our dealer,” Changbin explained, “well, Channie-hyung’s dealer but we get our stuff through Chan. He uses the alias Kogyeol to keep the law off his tail, and then pretty much everyone shortens that to Kogi.”

“Also Channie-hyung dated him for a while,” Jisung added.

“Oh, really?” Minho asked, intrigued.

“Hey Jisung how about you shut up if you want anything,” Chan griped, typing away at his phone.

“Uhh did I say anything?” Jisung said, now laughing nervously, “I definitely said nothing!”

“It’s not like it was a bad breakup though, you both just got too busy for each other,” Changbin commented, and turned to Minho, “it was very amicable. Which is why we still buy from him. Actually he’s the one that got Chan into smoking in the first place, and us too by extension.”

“Amicable or not, it’s not really Jisung’s dirty laundry to air, is it?” Chan said, giving Jisung a disappointed look, “Kogi says he’s got some coming in from his provder soon and he’ll be able to sell in a few a days. How much do you guys need?”

Jisung and Changbin gave Chan different amounts, and Chan typed them in.

“I feel like I’m part of something illegal,” Minho noted.

“Because you are,” Chan said, “please don’t rat on us.”

Minho chuckled, “wouldn’t dream of it, hyung.”

Changbin and Jising both whipped their heads to stare at Minho. “Hyung ??”

“Uh, yeah?” Minho said, “he’s older than me.”

“Am I also your hyung?” Jisung asked.

“Nope, he’s only younger by a year,” Chan answered, still not looking up from his phone, “he’s hyung to both of you.”

“Dammit,” Jisung huffed, crossing his arms and sulking, “I never get to be hyung.”

“Stop befriending older people then,” Changbin teased.

Jisung stuck his tongue out at Changbin. “Although this is interesting, Channie-hyung’s never dated someone younger before.”

This caught Chan’s attention, and his head snapped up in alarm.

“Dated? What are you talking about?” Minho questioned, “we aren’t dating.”

“You aren’t???” Changbin and Jisung said at the same time.

“Oh my god will you both please stop talking,” Chan complained, hiding a very red face behind one hand.

“Were you not just out on a date together?” Changbin accused.

“No! We were getting lunch as friends !” Chan responded, and Minho nodded in agreement.

The younger two seemed to deflate a bit, but let the topic drop finally.

A few minutes later, Chan's phone chimed, and he said "alright I got the total. When I get it I'll let you know and you can pay for your shares. Now please leave."

Changbin and Jisung left, and Chan let out a sigh as he shut the door behind them. 

"Sorry 'bout that," Chan said, "you wanna watch something? It's still early."

"Yeah sure, what do you wanna watch?"

"Dunno. Let's just see what's on TV."

They ended up cuddling on the couch (again), while watching some idol reality show.

"You sure are cuddly," Minho noted, looking down at Chan's arms around him.

"I just….like hugs," Chan replied, looking bashful. 

"Hugs are nice," Minho said, leaning in closer.

Over time, Minho found himself hanging out with Chan more and more. Sometimes they smoked, other times they didn't. It was nice, having a friend to spend time with. Minho began to feel far less lonely, and that horrible depressed mindset he'd been in all those weeks ago was like a distant memory. 

Not that he didn't struggle with his inner thoughts still, but it wasn't as bad.

It wasn't just Minho going to Chan's place, Chan came up to Minho's apartment as well. He loved petting Minho's cats, would often lay back on the sofa and just ask Minho to put all 3 on top of him. He noted that Minho acted cat-like as well. Minho didn't see it, but Chan said "no really! You seem fairly aloof but you're actually quite affectionate in your own way."

They also stayed overnight a lot- usually when smoking, as it made them both pretty sleepy. And since Chan was a giant cuddle monster, they basically always ended up sharing a bed. (Minho tried to sleep on the couch one time, but that was the week Chan was taking a break from smoking and couldn't sleep a wink until he was able to hug something (or in this case, someone). 

Minho realized he had a crush on one particular morning; he woke up before Chan (as usual) and took a moment to look at the other man's sleeping face. Chan's hair was super poofy, and Minho ran his fingers through it fondly. And Chan's lips were jutting out in a pout and it was so cute, Minho really wanted to kiss them-

Oh.

Oh!

Oh.

Okay then.

Okay so he liked Chan. Like liked Chan. Minho supposed that had always been a potential possibility, Chan was a very good-looking guy.

He wasn't really sure what to do about it, but didn't want to risk making their friendship awkward, so he just….kept it to himself.

Next edible movie night featured two films: Totoro and Nausicaa Valley of the Wind.

"Channie-hyung always cries during Nausicaa so that's why I picked it," Changbin explained when Minho questioned the choices.

"Listen, she was dead but then those bug things brought her back to life!" Chan argued, voice cracking slightly.

Minho couldn't help but giggle because that was just….so cute. Chan, a crybaby? Precious. Adorable. The cutest.

"We've seen it seventeen times," Changbin said, "and you've sobbed into my shoulder seventeen times."

"Well this time I have a Minho," Chan said, hugging Minho from behind, "I can cry into his shoulder. Right, Minho?"

"Yeah, you can cry into my shoulder hyung," Minho replied, still giggling.

"Well maybe if you're high you won't cry this time," Jisung suggested.

"No," Changbin said, "he's still gonna cry. I'm calling it."

First up was Totoro. After they all ate a brownie each and waited for the effects to kick in, Jisung hit play. 

Totoro was a trip , and all of them forgot what the plot was about, despite having seen it before.

"These furries are terrifying," Jisung said half way through, "furries scare me."

"Does that mean you're scared of Chan?" Changbin joked.

"I mean. Sometimes."

Chan snorted. "Furries aren't scary. They're fluffy. I wanna be Tototo. Tororo. Toto- whatever. I wanna be big and fluffy."

"You're already fluffy," Minho said, "and kinda big. Like, bulky. Hulky bulky. Fluffy hulk."

"Fluffy hulk. My new title," Chan declared with a giggle, "I will not answer to anything else for the rest of my life."

(The rest of Chan's life lasted about 5 minutes, and then they all forgot about it when the tone of the movie changed.)

Totoro eventually ended and no one was able to make sense of any of it. Jisung kept calling it the "Furry Movie". Changbin called out his frequent use of the term "furry".

"Is there something you aren't telling us Jisung?"

"Um... I like dudes."

Changbin rolled his eyes. "I already knew that."

"You did? Since when?" 

"Since we first met when you tried to hit on me."

"Oh yeah."

As the younger two continued to bicker, Chan just nuzzled up against Minho's neck and mumbled "you're so comfy…" 

"Hyung, that tickles!" Minho said, giggling. 

This just made Chan keep doing it, which brought out more laughter from the both of them.

Changbin and Jisung stopped talking and just stared at them. They shared a confused look with each other, shrugged, and Changbin went to change the movie while Jisung got them all another brownie.

Chan started crying half way through Nausicaa.

"It's not even sad yet hyung, how are you emotional already??" Minho asked in astonishment.

"But I know it's gonna get sad," Chan whimpered.

Minho just hugged him tighter and pet his hair while he sniffled. In a move of comfort and affection, Minho turned and gave the top of Chan's head a kiss.

Chan lifted his head up and looked at Minho. Minho noticed how close they were. Should he just...close the gap? It almost seemed like Chan was thinking the same thing, his eyes momentarily looked down to Minho's lips.

There was a loud sound from the movie, which caught both of their attention and they looked away. 

Layer, when Minho got home, he couldn't help but replay that almost kiss moment. Chan had definitely looked at Minho's mouth. Which was definitely not just a friendly bro thing. Did Chan like him back?

Minho didn't want to get his hopes up, but he was kinda getting his hopes up.

One week, Minho hosted edible movie night. Because Jisung remembered that Minho owned Aristocats. This decision was doubly confirmed when Minho mentioned he owned The Cat Returns as well.

"I like watching them with my kitties…" Minho reasoned, feeling a bit bashful.

"That's fucking adorable," Chan said bluntly.

Changbin and Jisung both started snickering, and Chan cleared his throat awkwardly, ears red as tomatoes. Minho laughed it off, but couldn't help feeling even more flustered at being called adorable. 

And so the movie night progressed- brownies eaten, movie played, Minho's cats welcomed extra company.

Changbin ended up spending half the night laying on the floor, stoned off his ass, petting a purring Doongie who was loafing on his chest.

"It feels like I'm petting a cloud..." Changbin said, amazed.

When Doongie started to fall asleep, Changbin genuinely teared up over how cute he was. 

Of course, Chan was super cuddly again as usual, and Minho was really starting to go through it.

How was it possible for a man to be so goddamn cute ?!

Minho reached up and fondly fluffed Chan’s hair, to which Chan started giggling, and it was like a heart-shaped arrow straight to Minho’s heart. He couldn’t help himself; he placed a big fat smooch on Chan’s cheek. When he pulled away he saw that Chan’s ears had become bright red, which was just so precious to Minho.

Maybe the weed was hitting harder than he’d thought it would, but he gave Chan another kiss on the cheek and cooed “you’re so cute hyungie~”

Off to the side, Jisung burst out laughing. “Hyung, your face is so red!”

“Hey Minho-hyung,” Changbin said, “you should kiss him on the nose. Channie-hyung loves nose kisses.”

“Changbin, what are you-” Chan started, but he was cut off with Minho saying “okay!” and planting one right on the tip of Chan’s nose, giggling as he pulled away.

Chan looked like his brain had just short-circuited.

“Ah, hyung, you’re really so cute,” Minho said again.

“Oh- um- th-thank you- you’re- um- you’re also cute-” Chan stuttered, as Jisung and Changbin howled with laughter at his flustered face.

“I need more weed,” Chan said, grabbing another brownie and wolfing it down in one bite.

Minho was still giggling as he turned back to the movie, snuggling up next to Chan again like before.

Later on, Chan got his payback. He said “hey Minho,” and when Minho turned his head there were lips on his cheek.

Minho‘s face started to burn as Chan began laughing.

“Revenge is mine~” he giggled.

“I- that’s not fair- you caught me off guard-” Minho was cut off as Chan kissed his other cheek, and now Minho was the incredibly flustered one.

Minho moved to lay down across Chan’s lap, escaping the range of Chan’s mouth. He would not be the more flustered one goddammit!

When Aristocats ended and they moved to The Cat Returns, Minho admitted that he used to have a crush on the main male cat character.

“So you’re a furry too?” Jisung asked.

“No! I was seven, give me a break!” Minho said in his defense. 

“Welcome to the furry club,” Chan joked, “hope you enjoy your stay~”

Minho looked up to give Chan a playful glare, but immediately regretted it because he was once again shot through the heart by Chan’s adorable laughing face.

Minho grabbed himself another brownie, also eating the whole thing in one bite.

The night ended with Minho and Chan falling asleep halfway through the second movie, both stoned off their asses from the extra brownies they ate.

Chan finally got a job at a small entertainment company. Minho startled Dori off of his lap with how loudly he screamed when Chan told him over the phone.

They went out for barbeque to celebrate, Changbin and Jisung joining them as usual. Minho finally got to meet Hyunjin, Jisung’s boyfriend. Hyunjin was gorgeous , with a super charming personality- it was easy to see why Jisung liked him so much. The couple was incredibly infatuated and flirty, and Chan and Changbin teased them about it all evening.

Well, mostly Changbin did the teasing. Chan tried to as well, but kept getting hit with “as if you’re one to talk hyung,” to which Chan would turn red and tell Changbin to “shut up”, swatting him on the arm. Minho just sat there and sipped his beer, feeling a little confused but just going with it.

After barbeque, they headed to a noraebang place; apparently it was a small tradition for Chan and his friends, anytime something big happened to one of them.

Jisung started off by singing a purposely off-key rendition of Toy by Block B, which made all of them laugh so hard there were tears in their eyes. Hyunjin laughed the loudest, seemingly used to these antics and very endeared by them.

Hyunjin was next, impressing all of them with his English as he sang a Billie Eilish song.

Chan and Changbin did a very dramatic duet of Again & Again by 2PM.

Minho sang 10 out of 10, another 2PM song; and impressed all of them with his rapping.

“We should feature him on our next mixtape,” Jisung said after Minho had finished.

“You say that like we’re ever going to make another mixtape,” Changbin countered.

“I’m just saying! Hey hyung, you should try a ballad!”

Minho tried a ballad. Chan jumped up to join him because it was Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran, and Chan was a huge fan of him. Minho sang the main melody, while Chan added harmonies during the chorus. And it was then that Minho learned that Chan had the voice of an angel . What was he doing being a producer when he could easily become an idol? Obviously Minho knew Chan could sing, with his earlier duet. But this was Chan singing genuinely .

Another beautiful feature of an overall beautiful man.

And at one point, even though it was Minho singing the main song, it felt like Chan was serenading him with his ad-lib harmonizing, which brought a blush to Minho’s face.

They ended the song just staring at each other, almost in their own little world, but the atmosphere was shattered as the other three started cheering loudly.

When Chan sat back down, he finished off his beer and grabbed another one, continuing to drink into the night. He got fairly drunk an hour later, leaning against Minho’s side and resting his head on Minho’s shoulder. Minho nursed his own drink, trying not to think about how warm Chan felt against him.

At the end of the night, Minho walked with Chan to his apartment, making sure he got there safe (and it was on the way to his apartment anyways).

Chan was still rather tipsy, and as they were saying goodnight, he was still holding onto Minho’s wrist. Minho noticed Chan wasn’t quite looking at his eyes, but rather the lower half of his face. And then he stepped in closer.

Was he going to kiss Minho this time?

However he shifted upwards last minute and kissed Minho on the nose.

Chan then said “goodnight kittycutie,” punched in his code, and then headed inside, leaving Minho just standing there feeling very confused.

‘Kittycutie’?? That was a new one.

Chan’s odd behavior weighed on Minho’s thoughts for the next few days, and he once again couldn’t help but get his hopes up that his crush wasn’t one-sided.

After all, they’d almost kissed twice, they were physically affectionate, and there was a definite level of unresolved tension between them.

As Minho lay back on Chan’s bed, once again hanging out at his place and getting he once again noticed there was...something.

He felt eyes on him, and turned to see Chan staring, face unreadable.

“Hey…..wanna try something?” Chan asked.

“Sure, what is it?” Minho replied.

“Okay, close your eyes, open your mouth, and get ready to breathe in.”

“....okay…?’

“Just trust me.”

“...okay.”

Minho did as Chan instructed, and waited. He heard the click of the lighter, heard Chan inhale, felt the mattress dip as Chan moved towards him.

Then he felt something press against his mouth, and felt something rush in. Minho inhaled the smoke, letting it get into his lungs, and exhaled out his nose.

He opened his eyes slightly, and saw that Chan’s face was right up against his and oh- that pressure was Chan’s lips.

Chan was kissing him. Chan was actually kissing him.

Chan pulled away and Minho chased him, kissing him back as his hand slid up the back of Chan’s neck to bring him closer again. The other hand moved up further to Chan’s hair, tangling fingers in amongst the curls. He felt Chan’s lips move against his own and felt a tongue slip in.

Minho pulled away for a moment to take a breath, and then dived back in, with so much gusto it knocked them over- Chan’s back hitting the mattress. A pair of arms circled around Minho’s body, one on his back, one holding his waist. And they just continued to kiss for several minutes; feeling each other, tasting each other. One of Chan’s hands slipped under Minho’s shirt, gently moving across bare skin which made Minho shiver.

He couldn’t get enough of kissing Chan; he was addicted.

Funny, he was worried about possibly getting addicted to a drug, but it was actually Chan that had him wanting- no, needing more.

They pulled away again, but this time Minho could barely catch his breath. The window was open to let the smoke out, and chilly air was coming in, causing their breathing to create little clouds of steam and they both shivered a little. Chan hugged Minho tighter to try and keep them warm. And they just...stared at each other. And since Minho was high, his mind was simply not working properly. He wanted to say something, but didn’t know what words to use.

Luckily, Chan beat him to it.

“Hey, wanna date?” he asked bluntly.

Minho snorted, falling into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied.

When they told Changbin and Jisung that they kissed and were now a couple, Changbin sighed and handed a very smug Jisung a 20,000₩ bill.

“....you seriously took bets on this?” Chan asked in disbelief.

“Oh please, you were starry eyed from the first movie night he was invited to,” Changbin said.

“Really?” Minho asked; this was news to him!

“I was not!” Chan denied with a blush.

“No, you kinda were,” Jisung countered.

“Actually, when did you start liking me?” Minho asked.

Chan took a moment to think. “Like...a few weeks after we started hanging out? I just found your laugh really cute and kept thinking about you at work and that’s how I realized. Wait, when did you start liking me?”

“It was like a month in, I woke up before you did after spending the night at your place and your lips were sticking out and I wanted to kiss you,” Minho answered.

“You should have kissed me.”

“And risk making things awkward? How was I supposed to know you felt the same?”

“Fair point.”

“What was the bet, by the way?” questioned Minho to Jisung and Changbin.

“Oh, I bet that you guys would kiss before getting together,” Jisung responded, “and Changbin-hyung bet that you would take forever to have your first kiss because Chan-hyung is really awkward in new relationships.”

“Hey!” Chan protested.

Changbin just shrugged. “What? You are.”

Despite Changbin exposing that Chan was awkward in relationships, Minho found that this really wasn’t the case. He was quite easy-going actually. Dating Chan didn’t really feel any different than just being friends with Chan. Except now they could kiss each other; and boy did they kiss each other. And after about two weeks, staying overnight turned into staying overnight. Eventually they started spending entire days at each other’s apartments (usually Minho’s, because he had cats to take care of). When Minho’s lease ended, he decided to not renew and chose to move in with Chan (which Chan was elated about).

Jisung dragged them on double dates with him and Hyunjin, which was always a lot of fun. Sometimes Changbin tagged along, to be a fifth wheel. He whined a lot about it, yet still came along anyways. At one point Jisung walked in on them... ahem. Getting it on. He swore to never let them live it down at lunch the next day, while a sympathetic Hyunjin pat his head and said “poor baby...you must be scarred for life.”

“Oh don’t be such a drama queen,” Chan replied, “with the amount of times I’ve walked in on you and Hyunjin, this is just karma.”

Hyunjin and Jisung both said nothing after that, faces slowly turning bright pink. Minho laughed at their embarrassment.

Three months in, the L word was shared. 

They had just gotten back home on a date, and Chan casually mentioned a small detail he had remembered of something Minho liked, and Minho found himself just blurting out “I love you.”

“Wh-what?” Chan stammered, looking shocked.

“I love you,” Minho said again.

The smile that stretched across Chan’s face was blinding.

“I love you too,” he said, and then proceeded to press kisses all over Minho‘s face. 

Face kisses turned into regular kisses, which then turned into heated kisses, and then they were stumbling towards the bedroom. 

Surprisingly, Chan started smoking less. He didn’t stop entirely, because of course a relationship doesn’t cure mental health problems. But he didn’t need it as often to deal with insomnia anymore- now that he had Minho to share a bed with every night, he was able to fall asleep easier. Chan joked that Minho was saving him a lot of money. 

Minho eventually met Kogyeol (a.k.a Minsoo); he tagged along when Chan went to go pick up new supply. Minho felt a little bit jealous because of how handsome Kogyeol was. However, that went away when he met Gyujin, Kogyeol’s boyfriend. Plus, Kogi was really nice. And Chan showed Minho off like he was a member of the royal family.

“Kogi, this is my super pretty boyfriend, Minho. Isn’t he super pretty? He’s super funny too, I love him a lot,” Chan said.

Minho gave him a light shove, blushing furiously. “Channie oh my god, hush!”

“What? It’s an honest introduction.”

“He’s really cute, yeah!” Kogyeol said with a laugh, “I’m happy for you Channie. And it's really nice to meet you Minho.”

“Um, thanks,” Minho replied, “it’s nice to meet you too.”

“You didn’t tell me about the new squeeze you have as well!” Chan teased, lightly punching Kogyeol in the arm.

Now it was Kogyeol’s turn to be flustered.

“Ah yeah...we...it’s fairly recent, but I really like him,” he responded.

“Well I’m super happy for you guys too.” Chan said with a smile, “I hope you stay together for a long time.”

“Plus, he’s exactly my type….if you catch my drift,” Kogyeol added, with a bit of a smirk.

Gyujin blushed and elbowed him, calling him terrible.

Chan was smirking as well. “Oh really? Same goes for me.”

“What do you mean by ‘type’?” Minho asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kogyeol said, “lemme go get your order.”

Minho asked again about what Chan meant by type after they left, and Chan let out a snicker and just said “bottom”.

“Bottom?” Minho questioned, “what do you- oh my god .”

Chan started cackling, and Minho whined that he was “absolutely shameless!”

It was on the way home from another lunch date in the springtime that Chan mentioned, “so the main choreographer at my company is retiring. The assistant is taking his place, but now they’re looking for a new assistant choreographer.”

Minho nodded as he listened, and then the words fully computed in his brain and he froze.

“I’d nearly given up on that, are they really looking for someone?” he asked.

“Yeah! And I gave your name as a recommendation. Not as your boyfriend, but as someone who’s seen how talented you are,” Chan said with a smile.

“You did??”

“Of course I did, you’re still pursuing that dream, right?”

“I am, thank you so much hyung. I don’t know how I can repay you for this.”

“Well I mean…” Chan said, his smile turning a little flirtier, “I can think of a few ways…”

Minho sighed. “You’re insatiably horny, you know that?”

“You say that as if you’re any better!” Chan countered.

“I am! Well, a little bit.”

“You’re worse when you’re high though.”

“...okay yeah I am worse when I’m high. But you can’t blame me, those lips feel like a religious experience.”

“Oh do they?” Chan asked, wiggling his eyebrows, “you should tell me more about that when we get home.”

“You just want to shotgun again.”

“Yeah.”

Minho started laughing, and they continued to banter as they continued walking, hand in hand.