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Snowflakes drifted to the ground. The world was blanketed in white and silence.
The sound of the bus drifted off as it disappeared around the corner and Felix buried himself deeper in his winter coat. This time, he had thought to dress warmer, with sturdy boots and a thick jacket, a scarf covering the lower half of his face and his beanie the other half.
Slowly, he crossed the street and started walking on the path that led over the fields into the forest. The snow had covered everything around him in sparkling white, letting the dirt and the cracked asphalt disappear and making everything look pristine and new.
Felix smiled under his scarf, turning around himself a few times. He stopped and fumbled his phone out of his pocket to take pictures of the line of houses behind him and the forest in front of him. His camera had suffered greatly during his last time at the castle and he didn’t have enough money to replace it yet. It annoyed him, yes, but he knew how to take good pictures with his phone too so he could survive until he could get a new camera.
The snow crunched under his feet, and in the silenced world around him, it sounded too loud in Felix’s ears. He grimaced and continued slowly.
Walking through a forest in winter had been a magical experience when Felix first came into an area with forests around. Seungmin still grinned when he recalled how eager Felix was to take different shots of everything around them, be it a snow-covered bench along the way or the special way the light found its way through the naked branches of the trees. Occasionally, he would also take pictures of Seungmin and Jeongin, laughing happily at the way their eyes scrunched up behind their masks with their smiles and how they spread their arms and spun around.
Felix stopped and leaned his face into the sun, closing his eyes. He should go out with Seungmin and Jeongin again once they come back. He missed taking walks in the forest with them.
Both went to visit their family over the holidays, asking over and over again if Felix would be okay staying in their flat alone. They didn’t live too far away from the dorm, only a few hours drive by car or train, and the prices of getting home were low enough. Both Seungmin and Jeongin had applied for testing about a week earlier, staying away from anyone who wasn’t Felix to make sure they wouldn’t bring the virus into their homes. Both their tests came back negative and they were free to leave the university campus in a strict time frame that had been set to allow students to visit their families.
“Hyung, I’m sure Mom would be happy to take you in for the holidays,” Jeongin had said about a day before he left, with a frown on his face. “Staying alone on Christmas isn’t…” He had stopped, his frown deepening.
Felix had chuckled and had ruffled Jeongin’s hair. “Don’t you worry about me. I still have contact with my parents and sisters - there’s just no possibility to fly to Australia at the moment.” He hesitated, then sighed. “And even if, I don’t want anything to happen to my parents. If the virus is this bad here, who knows if I get tested and everything but still could carry the virus home because someone on the plane has it. I just don’t want to risk it.”
Seungmin and Jeongin had exchanged a glance. “You’re worrying too much, Lix,” Seungmin had said gently. “But...in some ways… I get what you mean.”
“I’ll call you on Christmas Day, hyung!” Jeongin had promised the next day when Felix had said goodbye to him at the train station. Felix had laughed and reminded him to spend his time with his family and not worry about him too much. He would be okay.
“Lix, I’m serious - if you ever feel lonely, please call either Innie or me, yeah?” Seungmin had made him promise as he left a day after Jeongin.
Felix had hugged him, the mask hiding how strained his smile felt. “I won’t be too lonely, don’t worry about me. Enjoy your time with your family.”
Barely a day after the two had left, Felix wished there was a way he could still leave the country to fly back to Australia. Being in a foreign country, alone and without anyone to keep him company, wasn’t something he had imagined for his first Christmas abroad.
The country’s borders had been shut, tighter restrictions had fallen into place to stop the ever-growing numbers of cases. For a few weeks, nobody would be able to leave or enter the country. It was worrying. And even though Australia was better off, his parents seemed worried when Felix called them on FaceTime. They tried to hide it, and sometimes it was easy to pretend they weren’t in the middle of a pandemic when Felix watched his mother cook or listened to his sister talking about her day and show him her new drawings.
But, as soon as they said goodbye, reality hit him again and his mood dropped.
He was surprised he hadn’t come back to the castle sooner.
The last few steps of the way moved below his feet, and the snow-dusted trees opened into the huge clearing with the beautiful, abandoned castle in the middle of it.
Felix stopped to watch, feeling a smile appear on his lips.
The snow had settled on each tower, on each part of the roofs, and given them a pristine, white covering that sparkled in the sun. It was around midday, and the castle looked like a place where fairy tales would take place, the ones that involved elves, ghosts, and magic.
Slowly, Felix raised his phone to take a picture of the castle before he continued on his way, walking over the stone bridge to the broken door. His steps were determined, faster than the last time. Ravens screeched above him, high and distant, and instead of intimidating him, their calls felt like a greeting.
Felix took a deep breath before he pulled his scarf higher above his nose and wedged himself between the splintered wood into the huge entrance hall.
The sun barely managed to shine through the dust-crusted windows and yet, the hall seemed to be brighter than Felix remembered. Had something happened or was it just his imagination?
Felix hummed and took a few steps through the hall, raising his phone to take pictures. The halls were as picturesque as the last time he had been here, but the last time, he hadn’t dared to venture further into the castle, hadn’t had the opportunity to explore more before the demon started his hunt.
A shiver traveled down Felix’s back and he slowly turned around himself, glancing in all the shadowy hallways that went away from the main entrance hall. In his mind, the haunting picture of the pair of red eyes appeared again - as it had in several of his dreams the nights after his first visit.
The prickling of eyes on the back of his neck made him spin around again, his breath quickening.
Catching himself again, he shook his head with a grumble. “Get a grip,” he muttered to himself. “That demon won’t hurt you anymore. You’re welcome here.”
With slow and steady steps, he continued on his way through the entrance hall, towards a hallway next to the enormous staircase that began in the middle of the main hall and led to the upper floors. Felix remembered the hallway where the princes’ paintings were hung on the walls and where he would also most likely find their rooms.
He looked around the narrow hallway, frowning at the tapestry that peeled off the walls and paintings of men and women that had their faces scratched off to the extent where they were no longer recognizable. “What happened to them?” His voice didn’t echo. The carpet on the floor and the fabric on the walls swallowed the sound of his voice.
Both may have once aided the warmth in the castle, but to Felix, there was no difference in temperature to when he was walking through the snowy forest outside. He shivered, huddling deeper into his warm winter coat.
Felix hummed to himself in thought as he went on with his phone raised, taking a picture from time to time. Eventually, he entered a small room that went away from the hallway. The door was missing, laying on the floor a few meters away from Felix.
He stopped, frowning. His breath wasn’t visible anymore.
It was warmer in here than in the hallways outside and Felix could pull off his beanie and scarf. He turned around himself, walking further into the room with wide eyes. Its furniture lay on the floor, broken chairs, and a mighty wooden table. The walls were decorated with rich tapestry, expensive fabrics with intricate patterns. Gold shimmered in the dim sunlight that streamed in through the dusty windows, reflecting on shards of glass from old display cases and Felix tilted his head. A dining room?
He shivered with the feeling of eyes on his back and spun around again. So far, he hadn’t dared to call out for the princes in fear of angering the demon they lived with. But this unnatural warmth in the room - in which Felix couldn’t detect any source of heating - must have been a sign that the princes were close.
“Damn, you almost found my collection of knives. You have a good nose.” The voice came from above him.
Felix screamed and scrambled backward.
Hyunjin snorted, shooting forward and catching Felix’s wrist with a solid and strong grip before he could fall to the floor. His uniform was pristine, his bow on his back, but his quiver was empty. His green eyes sparkled with his smile. “Jisung, stop scaring him like that.”
Felix took a deep breath to calm himself and glared at Jisung who was grinning at him, floating upside down beneath the ceiling, his hands crossed behind his head. His silver hair was floating around his head, the golden leaf crown glinting in the afternoon light.
“You almost gave me a heart attack, you- you fucking asshole!” He sat back, pulling his hand over his face after Hyunjin let go of it.
Over the sound of Jisung’s gleeful laugh, Hyunjin tsk-ed while kneeling in front of Felix. “Now, now, he just wanted to play a prank on you.” He pulled lightly on Felix’s wrists to get his attention and once Felix looked at him again, he smiled and it was like another sun had risen in the room. “It’s his way of ahem...bonding.”
“By the way, I really like your hair.” Jisung’s voice was coming from his left ear and Felix flinched hard, biting his lip with a hiss to stop himself from lashing out with a hit. Not that he could really hit a ghost. If they didn’t want to, there was nothing to hit, just air.
Hyunjin tilted his head and leaned closer. “Yes, it hasn’t been that way when you were here the last time. It really suits you. How did you change it?”
“Was it magic?” Jisung leaned over Hyunjin’s shoulder and Felix had to lean further back to keep a bit of distance from the two ghosts that were getting too close to his face.
“Uh- I dyed it,” he said slowly. A shy smile appeared on his lips and he pulled at one of the icy-blue strands to get them away from his eyes. “But… thank you...I guess?”
Hyunjin chuckled and backed away, taking Jisung’s wrist to pull him with him. “It looks… a bit like Chris-hyung’s hair did, back when he-”
Jisung shot forward and slapped a hand on Hyunjin’s mouth before smiling brightly at Felix. “We have time, a lot of it. Why don’t we go and meet up with our hyungs?” He glanced out of the window. “They should be back by now.”
Felix frowned and got up slowly, dusting off his clothes. “Back from what?”
“We will tell you, no worries.” Jisung floated out of the room, turning in the air until it looked like he was letting himself ride on streams of air while smiling easily. “Follow me, dear Felix.”
Hyunjin gripped Felix’s hand and pulled him with him. “Come, the hyungs are waiting. They already saw that you came into the castle but couldn’t greet you properly yet. They’re...preparing something.”
Felix frowned but went along. He wondered why Hyunjin was taking a form solid enough that he could touch Felix while Jisung chose to stay untouchable and out of reach.
Something was going on here.
“Hyunjin?”
“Hm?” Hyunjin didn’t turn around, he kept following Jisung through darkened hallways and barely lit halls.
“Did- did something happen since the last time I was here? Should I-” His voice quieted and with a frown, he looked at his feet that stumbled more than once trying to follow Hyunjin over the rubble on the floor. He cursed quietly and found his footing again, then tried again. “Should I... have not come here in the first place?”
This got Hyunjin to turn around and he frowned, stopping in the hallway. From a window at the side, a few rays of sunlight streamed inside and reflected on his golden crown of leaves. “Felix, what are you saying? We’re extremely happy that you’re here again!”
“But- but you’re keeping something from me!” Felix looked away, flushing as he realized he was pouting. “Something happened and…”
Hyunjin glanced at Jisung before he cooed and came closer. “It’s nothing major, it’s just-” He broke off and shook his head. “You seemed down when we saw you entering the castle and we don’t want to drag you down even more. You came here to cheer up again and well, that’s something we can do quite well. Normally at least.” He smiled, reaching out to smooth a hair strand away from Felix’s eyes.
Felix closed his eyes at the fleeting contact. “Okay...if you insist.”
They continued on their way.
A few minutes later, they entered a circular room at the ground levels of one of the towers. Its stone walls were naked and high, torches were burning in holders, and on the ground, there were several opened chests, blankets, pillows, and chairs pushed together in an unorganized mess.
On one of those blankets, Changbin and Chris were sitting. Chris’s legs were outstretched, his eyes set on his arm. His face was twisted in a grimace, his teeth dug in his lower lip. Changbin was sitting next to him and was doing something on his arm that Felix couldn’t quite see. But the skin was bared, the sleeve of his uniform cut away, and there was blood. Neither of them looked up as Hyunjin, Jisung, and Felix entered the room.
Felix’s eyes widened and he stopped, trying to process what he was seeing.
“I’m done in a minute, hyung,” Changbin promised, then produced a roll of bandages from behind him. He started to tightly wrap Chris’ arm.
Jisung coughed lightly and floated over to them. “We have a guest, hyungs!”
Chris stiffened and looked up. His face was paler than Felix remembered it.
His eyes met Felix’s and a smile appeared on his lips. “Hey, Felix. My apologies that you have to see me like this… and that we didn’t come to see you sooner.” His gaze fell on Felix’s hair and his smile brightened while he was sitting up straighter. “Your hair is different. It suits you.”
Felix frowned and let go of Hyunjin’s hand, quickly walking over to Chris’s side. Worry tangled itself into a tight knot in his stomach. “What-what happened? Are you hurt? I thought- since you’re ghosts-” He let himself fall to the blankets on which Chris sat and scooted closer, following the invitation of Chris’s outstretched hand.
He couldn’t explain it but he had to be close to Chris, not only because he seemed to be hurt but because there was this longing, this wish to be close to Chris. It reminded him of the deep, bottomless sadness that got a hold of him when he got told that he couldn’t stay with the princes for any longer.
Chris leaned over and pressed a soft, cold kiss to Felix’s forehead. “It’s- nothing major, don’t worry about me.” He hissed as he drew back again, glancing at his arm.
“Oh… I’m sorry. There you go,” Changbin whispered, stepping back and tying the bandage off. He looked at Felix and smiled. “Nice to see you again, Felix - I’m sorry that we couldn’t all greet you at once.”
Felix looked between him and Chris, frowning. His fingers twisted into each other, playing with the zipper of his winter coat. “Okay, what is going on here? Where’s Minho? And how- how did you get hurt?”
Chris bit his lip, then looked at the other princes. “I-”
“It looks like Minho’s still on the hunt,” Jisung burst out, rushing from one side of the room to the other. “Why don’t we go look for him?” He grabbed Changbin’s and Hyunjin’s wrists and even though the two protested, they got swept away and whooshed out of the room together with Jisung, leaving Chris and Felix alone. Again.
Felix looked after them with big eyes. He blinked quickly to keep any tears from escaping.
Why did they run-?
Chris shook his head and leaned forward, his hand raising and then hovering halfway to Felix’s face. “Hey...no, Felix, please don’t cry… they don’t mean-”
“Please just tell me what’s going on,” Felix interrupted him, wiping away at his eyes quickly and looking away. His chest hurt. “I’ve been coming here because I’ve been alone for the better part of the last two weeks because my friends all went home for Christmas and to visit their families and I can’t fault them because they haven’t seen them for so long because of the pandemic but goodness, does it hurt that I can’t leave this freaking country-” He drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m scared that I will bring the virus back home to my family and- then I come here and you guys are being so cryptical and-”
“Hey, hey.” Chan’s cold arms enveloped him and he hummed softly. “I’m very sorry… we went about this the wrong way, probably.” He sighed and pulled Felix closer, laying his chin on Felix’s head.
Felix shook his head and pressed his forehead into Chris’s neck, sinking into the embrace and letting himself be held.
“You know… how I told you that my brothers can’t get hurt by the demon anymore?” Chris began hesitantly. “That’s why they mostly fight against him - and that’s why they also manage to conquer him each time we want to defend a human or just protect ourselves.” He hesitated. “Or more… each time they needed to protect me .”
Felix frowned, pulling back to look at Chris. “Why protect you?”
Chris shook his head and bit his lip. “It’s still… I keep thinking that as the oldest, I need to protect them from whatever might happen to us, but that doesn’t work here. I have powers neither of them has. I can stay solid for a longer period of time, I can make the past appear in front of you again, I can teleport and I can heal. But… I’m vulnerable. Before humans entered this castle after it was abandoned, the demon used to hunt us. We all used to fight him, but where one swipe of his claws would do nothing to my brothers, it would wound me like any normal human.”
“So… that’s what happened to your arm? Did you get attacked? By- by that monster?”
Chris nodded and sighed. “And… those powers I have only appeared after time. And each time, the demon would search for me with renewed rage and try to sabotage me.” He laughed, bitterly, and abruptly. “We are the thing that keeps him tied to this castle - and he’s the one that keeps us from being free again. But… he only has to kill me a second time to be free and for us to be free, we need someone to help us. We can’t kill the demon on our own.”
Felix stared at him with wide eyes. “But- that’s so unfair! How did you all end up being cursed like this? I just-” He shook his head. “I can’t seem to understand it…”
Chris smiled sadly and leaned back until he was laying on his back with his arms spread out to the sides, staring at the high ceiling of the room. It was veiled with the foggy smoke of the torches. “We… ticked off one too many people in our lives, probably - and the wrong people on top of that. I want to say it is my father’s fault for reigning our people so brutally, but...that would only be a half-truth. I knew I would be king after him and I was almost as bad as him.” He shook his head. “Well, the end of the story was that we not only managed to anger a witch so much that she cursed us five to be tied to this castle - she also damned us to never be able to free ourselves from our father’s grip.”
“Wait.” Felix sat up straighter. “What do you mean? You all died in the same year, but your father-”
Chris shook his head. “He died in the same attack as us. And… not long after I woke up as a ghost, he began haunting the castle, trying to kill us. Setting us ghosts...as his target.”
Felix gasped, horror clouding his mind. “The demon is your father?!”
Chris’s expression darkened. “He once was. But now he’s just a monster that keeps us from finding our peace.”
Felix’s mind was reeling. “Oh, Chris…”
Chris shook his head and sat upright. “No more of that. You’re upset...that was never my intention. Today’s a special day and you came here to not be alone. And we won’t let you be alone.” He leaned forward with a smile and enveloped Felix in an embrace. “Close your eyes,” he said softly, his voice next to Felix’s left ear. “I’ll stay right by your side.”
“Okay, now you can open your eyes again.” Chris’s voice held a warm smile and Felix opened his eyes, and they turned wide with a gasp at what he was seeing.
Chris and he were sitting on a pile of richly decorated blankets around a fireplace with a warm fire burning, its light illuminating the gigantic Christmas tree standing next to it. Its branches were loaded with glitter balls and golden ornaments, and presents were sitting underneath it. Everything sparkled in the light of the flames.
Felix stood and looked around in awe. Only then did he see the other brothers that had entered the room. None of them was wearing their uniform, instead, they each wore loose and wide clothing, tunics, and soft pants that looked as comfortable as Felix’s favorite pair of sweatpants. Changbin even had a blanket slung around his shoulders.
Minho smiled at him, sitting next to Felix and caressing his arm in greeting. It was fleeting, more a gust of wind than an actual touch but Felix still beamed at him, his eyes sparkling. Then, he looked around again, noticing the table with the baked goods and how everything was whole and new and shining with gold, crimson, black, and blue.
“Where are we here? What is this?” He didn’t dare speak louder than an awed whisper. His surroundings looked like he had fallen straight into an old Christmas movie, but with a setting that he had never seen before.
“This is how we used to celebrate Christmas,” Changbin said, letting himself sink next to Chris and cuddling into a blanket that enveloped him fully and turned him into a blanket burrito. It was an adorable sight.
“It’s not- I can’t travel back in time though,” Chris said and shrugged as if he had to apologize for not being able to do so. “But… we come together like this every year and… we’re able to have a few days of peace together.”
“That doesn’t mean we never argue.” Hyunjin’s voice came from somewhere behind the Christmas tree and a few moments later, he popped up together with Jisung, both floating over to their group and letting themselves sink to the ground until they laid on top of each other on the blankets strewn around everywhere.
Felix stared at them for a few seconds before sinking back on the blankets again. He was surprised he could feel them, soft and scratchy at the same time.
Minho snorted and leaned back. His leaf crown never moved from its place atop his curls even though Felix couldn’t explain himself how. “Oh, we never run out of stuff to argue about.” He sounded amused.
“Not on these days though,” Chris cut in, leaning back and pulling Felix with him until he came to lay on Chris’ chest, his cold arms hugging Felix securely. “Sungie, you said you’ve wanted to brag to Felix about your… ‘adventures’ when he’s back.” He sounded amused.
Jisung hummed, drawing circles into the air with sparkles appearing around his hands. He laid on his back with Hyunjin draped over his stomach, his hand behind his head. “Hmm, which ones do you mean?”
“The not harmful ones,” Felix spoke up, relaxing slowly. “Or just… tell some stories you can recall.”
“Oh! Oh, I have one.” Jisung grinned and started retelling how Minho and he had pranked their horse owners until he was chasing after them, red-faced and screaming with his pants below his knees and Felix almost doubled over with his laugh.
One after the other, the princes told Felix little stories of their past, making Felix relax more and more and cuddle deeper into Chris’ chest and the soft blankets underneath them.
Their voices died down slowly until only the crackling of the fire filled the room. Felix hummed softly. He was warm and cozy and even though he knew his surroundings were only an illusion, he hadn’t felt this comfortable and accepted in weeks.
“Hyung,” Changbin spoke in the silent room, sitting up, the blanket pooling around his middle. His loose shirt slipped from his shoulders and it reminded Felix of Seungmin and the way he looked after sleepovers - loose-limbed, sleepy, with a bed-head and his clothes in disarray. Changbin didn’t resemble the warrior he seemed to be when Felix first met him.
“Hm-mmh?”
“Why not show Felix how our rooms used to look? I mean… we were assholes back then but we were princely assholes and we had enough to show off.”
“Actually, yes,” Hyunjin piped up, raising a hand but not lifting himself from his lying position on the ground. “Can we do that? Then we can tell more stories about us being stupid kids.”
Chris snorted. “I’m sorry, you were the only stupid kids around here - I never went out of line.”
The room was silent for a moment before the other four boys burst out in laughter.
Felix snorted and looked up at Chris’ face. “Somehow… I can’t quite believe that.”
Chris lifted an eyebrow and glanced down at Felix, an amused half-smile on his face. “I was the crown-prince. Someone had to be all royal and regal and-”
“-act like he had a stick up his ass half of the time,” Jisung cut in, shooting away with a squeak when Chris reached out to hit him. “Behave,” he just said, raising his eyebrows like he dared Jisung to oppose again.
“Show me your rooms already, I want to learn more about your earlier lives,” Felix cut in to stop the arguments.
And Chris moved his hands, shifting their surroundings again.
From Jisung over Hyunjin and Changbin to Minho and eventually Chris, they showed Felix the magnificence that they used to hoard in their huge rooms, filled with expensive fabrics, gold, and sometimes display weapons even.
Felix let himself get lost in their stories, soaking up their company, listening to their bickering with a warmth in his heart that he couldn’t explain.
“Chris,” he mumbled eventually, interrupting Chris’ story mid-sentence.
“Hm? Is everything okay?”
“Mh-hm… I just-” Felix yawned. “Why did you call me Pixie when you said goodbye? My- my brother used to call me that… such a long time ago…” He stared ahead into the fireplace, the warm golden light illuminating the room around them. Long forgotten memories scratched at the back of his mind, but they slipped away the moment Felix tried to get hold of them.
Chris hummed, his fingers scratching through the hair on the back of Felix’s neck. “I don’t know, I just… the name came to me. I’m not sure how I knew about it either.”
“Watch it, Felix - he’s going to get a new power soon,” Hyunjin mumbled, cuddling closer to Jisung.
Chris shook his head. “No, no, that’s different.” He looked down on Felix again and seemed like he wanted to say more but then just smiled. That kind of smile that made Felix’s insides bloom with warmth and contentment, telling him that he was loved and everything was alright. “Go to sleep, you look like your eyes will close at any moment now. We’re here - we won’t go anywhere.”
“And we’ll be here in the morning too,” Minho added, his voice warm and soft.
Felix yawned again and curled into a small ball again, the warmth around him sinking into his limbs. He knew he was still wearing his winter coat and the five ghosts around him only had a cold touch to their hands when they would touch him, but that didn’t deter the sleepiness from sinking into his bones like molten caramel.
He fell asleep to Chris caressing his hair again, saying “It looks just like my hair when I woke up as a ghost for the first time.”