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It never gets any easier. Not after three years. Not after hundreds of successful raids. Space is a million little things that can kill you. So why did Ryuji allow Akira to talk him into this...?
The 'why' is actually pretty complicated, but it begins on a tiny planet at the edge of the P5 Galaxy, Anom. Ryuji and Akira grew up on Anom, a modest planet known for its crops and mining. Though nothing like the galaxy's capital planet, Anom was always an important part of the P5 Federation. Up until three years ago, that is. Without warning or explanation, the government cut ties with Anom and her people. They stopped all trade and communication, leaving the tiny planet to fend for itself.
Disease and famine swept across the globe. Cities fell and the population began to shrink. Anom itself would surely have become doomed, had it not been for the formation of the Phantom Thieves. The people of Anom rebuilt old military vessels and took to the skies to reclaim what the capital had stolen from them. For three years now Ryuji has been part of Akira's crew on the Arsene. Their mission is simple, board the enemy ship, steal much-needed supplies, and then return back to Anom to deliver the goods. Yeah, that basically makes them space pirates, but it's all for a good cause. Right?
That's what Ryuji tells himself. Especially the night before a big raid, when he's lying in bed with Akira, unable to sleep. It's not always easy for him to shut his mind off. It catches up with him and forces him to hyper-focus on every tiny thing that could go wrong.
The transporters could malfunction. They would be beamed directly into space instead of onto the capital's vessel. Within moments they would be flash-frozen into human popsicles.
They could beam down into the wrong room. The crew of the capital's vessel will surround them in moments, capture them, and take them away to face trial. The punishment for piracy is usually twenty-years to life.
Or worse still, the mission could go smoothly. They could teleport onto the ship without issue, avoid the security crew, and make it back with the cargo. Another job well done, right?
That's what Ryuji thought last month when they boarded the capital's newest trade ship. Every step from start to finish went off without a hitch. Then, right at the last second, right as they were about to teleport back, it all went to hell. A security officer rounded the corner and fired at them. The blast of energy from his gun followed them back to their ship.
It tore through most of the items they had worked so hard to retrieve, but worse than that, it hit Akira.
Ryuji can still see the details inside his mind. Akira's glassy-eyed expression as his body crumples to the floor. Blood, all over him, the cargo, and Ryuji's hands as he desperately tries to stop the bleeding. Ryuji yells for help, but the medical personnel take forever to arrive. Akira's body is lifeless as he's loaded onto a stretcher.
“You should be asleep,” Akira mumbles through the darkness. It pulls Ryuji from his spinning thoughts.
“I know,” Ryuji whispers back, trailing his fingers across the sheets. They collide with Akira's chest, trailing up over rough and scarred skin. Energy blasters burn through flesh like a hot knife, inflicting massive amounts of damage. Akira only survived because he didn't take a direct hit. The shot only clipped him. "I just keep thinkin' about what happened last time."
Ryuji traces the scar's path, from Akira's sternum back over his right shoulder. The skin feels rough and indented, a perfectly carved outline.
“I know,” Akira tells him gently, catching hold of Ryuji's hand. He laces their fingers together. “I've been thinking about it too.”
“So then don't go on the mission tomorrow. Sit this one out.”
“I can't. I have to do this.”
“Why?” Ryuji demands, desperately trying to understand Akira's logic. Had Ryuji been in his place, so close to death, he'd be happy to take a backseat the next time around. It's why Akira is the captain and not him. His determination knows no bounds.
“If you fall off the horse, you have to get back on. Otherwise, you'll never ride again.”
“Are you seriously quoting ancient Earth proverbs to me right now?”
Akira laughs in a low tone, “I guess I am.”
“We don't even have horses on our home planet,” Ryuji whispers. “Please don't go on the mission tomorrow. If something happens to you-”
“We all know the risk we're taking by doing this,” Akira firmly reminds him. “There are people counting on us, Ryuji. They're waiting on medications, medical supplies, and food. We have a responsibility to help them. That's why we got into this whole thing in the first place. Remember?”
“I know that.”
Akira reaches over to cup the side of Ryuji's face, pulling him in for a soft kiss, “Don't be mad at me all night.”
“I'll try not to be,” Ryuji promises. He reluctantly allows Akira to pull away, roll over, and go back to sleep.
The night is long and dark.
* * *
Futaba in navigation guides the Arsene along the starboard side of the capital ship. Their own vessel is cloaked for the moment, giving them a chance to get into position for beaming. Ryuji, Akira, and Ann are all suited up. They wait impatiently inside the transportation chamber.
“It's good to have you back, Cap,” Ann tells Akira cheerfully. She hooks out an elbow to jab Ryuji in the side, startling him so bad that he jumps. “This guy's been hopeless without you to lead us. He can't take direction from anyone else.”
“What the hell?” Ryuji shoots back. “I've been doin' just fine. Makoto is good at leadin' missions too.”
“Yeah, she's good at it. You? Not so much.”
“Let's all try to get along,” Akira admonishes, though he's grinning in amusement. Subtly he steps closer to Ryuji, until their shoulders brush together. Without a thought to the action, Ryuji reaches out to curl his fingers around Akira's. He squeezes them gently. “We'll be okay.”
“I know,” Ryuji murmurs. “I trust you.”
“Get ready guys,” Futaba's voice comes in over their radios. It signals their impending molecule scramble through space. Ryuji's stomach flip-flops in anticipation. Teleporting is the worst part, it always makes Ryuji feel a little sick. Akira twines their fingers together. It calms his rattled nerves.
We'll be okay, Ryuji tells himself one more time. It's kind of a mantra, but it's mostly a prayer. Akira steps away in anticipation, it's best not to make physical contact going into a teleport. That's how people get spliced together.
“Five-second countdown,” Yusuke informs them. He's sitting behind a thick wall of glass, overseeing their journey. He'll be in charge of sending them to the other ship, and more importantly, bringing them back. “...three. ...two. ...one.”
There's a split-second sensation of vertigo as Ryuji and the others get sent through to the other ship. As they arrive, Futaba hacks into the federation's computer systems. She has to scramble their scanners to keep them from detecting the sudden appearance of three bodies on the lower decks.
“You're clear,” Makoto and Haru track their progress. The layout of this ship is like most federation vessels. Akira leads the way as they move from engineering to cargo.
“You've got a security patrol coming up on your right,” Haru warns. Not a moment too soon. The trio barely has time to hide. The security patrol passes right by them without notice. Akira motions for the team to continue on.
“Everything looks clear. Keep going,” Makoto encourages. They're about halfway to their final destination. Ryuji clenches his fist and bites down on his bottom lip. This is exactly how it was last time, good up until the end. His heart races inside his chest as they move on into the cargo hold.
Here is where they split up. They're each looking for specific things, boxes of medicine, or pallets of supplies. They move from shipping container to shipping container. Using hand-held scanners they check the contents in search of what they need. Once it's found, it's as easy as tagging the items for transport. From there the crew can slowly, one by one, teleport the supplies to their own cargo hold.
“This is Panther,” Ann's voice comes on the radio, using her self-chosen code name. They all picked them out in the beginning as a way to avoid identification. It ensures the federation can't trace them by their real identities. Especially in the case of intercepted radio transmissions. “Boys, how are you two doing?”
“I got mine,” Ryuji reports. He pulls the tracer from his pocket and affixes it to the side of his cargo container. “Joker?”
“Almost there,” Akira replies back, sounding a bit out of breath. “The capital is getting better at hiding their medical supplies. I'm looking for them right now, but-”
Akira's voice cuts short. No one speaks over the radio in case he's been forced to slip into hiding. Even quiet radio chatter might give his position away. Ryuji holds his breath, heart pounding. Without even a thought he takes off down the path Akira had taken. He breezes by Ann along the way, but he doesn't have time to stop and explain.
Please be okay, Ryuji thinks, rounding a corner. He almost runs into Akira.
“What are you doing?!” Akira hisses at him, catching him by the shoulders to still him. He turns Ryuji around and pushes him back in the direction they both came from. “There's a patrol coming this way."
“Shit, sorry, I got it,” Ryuji takes the lead. They both move slowly, listening for the sounds of the patrol catching up to them. Or worse, another patrol catching them further along. Ryuji ducks around a corner, Akira on his toes.
“Queen, do you see anything?” Akira asks in a hushed voice over the radio.
“The capital must be fighting back against Oracle's hacking. We can't trace you guys anymore,” Makoto tells them, mindful of her volume. “Hang tight while we work to get everything back online. We'll beam you back when we have a lock on your signals.”
“Copy, standing by.”
“We gotta get back to Panther,” Ryuji breathes. Akira nods in agreement.
“Lay low,” Akira instructs as he steps out of their hiding space. Ryuji keeps close to his back, turning a full circle to scan for the security patrol. Moving like shadows they work their way to where Ann is. She eagerly awaits them, hiding in a narrow space between two shipping containers.
“Did you find the medical stuff?” she asks Akira.
“Barely,” he sighs. “I got as many of them tagged as I could before that patrol showed up.”
“If you missed anything, we can always get it on the next raid.”
Ryuji's heart sinks at the mention of another raid. It's not that he hates what they're doing. He knows it's important work and that it helps the people back on their home planet. When he first started, the thrill was more than enough to keep him enthusiastic. Then they started to lose people. Crew members were getting caught and captured, or worse, killed. Akira's injury was the straw that broke the camel's back for Ryuji.
They've still got six months left to their mission before they can return home for good.
He hopes they all last that long.
“I'm going back,” Akira says abruptly, startling Ryuji out of his thoughts.
“What the hell?” Ryuji hisses at him, anger flaring up to overpower his anxiety. “No, you're not.”
“I want to tag the last of those medical supply boxes.”
“Forget about them, man. We've got enough.”
“This is a big raid,” Akira insists, lips drawing into a thin line. “We have to get as much as we can from it. It'll be weeks before we find another ship this large.”
“Then let me go,” Ryuji implores. “I'm the faster runner. If the patrol spots me I have a better chance of getting away.”
“Are you sure?” Ann butts into the conversation, voice tight with concern. “You've never done anything like this before. Are you sure you can handle it?”
“I've got this,” he presses, looking at both Ann and Akira. “Give me a chance to do somethin' useful for once.”
Akira sighs, displeased with the arrangement, “If you so much as think you hear a patrol coming, return back here. You don't have to play at being a big hero.”
“I won't if you won't,” Ryuji shoots back with a half-cocked smile. He pauses long enough to listen for incoming footsteps. Then he dips out of their hiding place and back into the corridor. Ryuji navigates himself back to where the medical supplies are. The coast is clear, so he makes quick work of tagging the boxes and pallets that Akira missed.
“Joker, Panther, I'm coming back to you,” Ryuji tells them, doubling back.
“Be careful, Skull,” Ann replies, voice low. “The patrol passed by us. They'll probably head your way next.”
“Copy. I'll watch for them.”
Ryuji's body remains tense as he picks his way back across the ship. Every muscle in his body is poised to spring out of danger, to duck and hide. Vaguely he's aware of the racing of his heart. It's pumping steadily to send adrenaline to the four corners of his body.
A bright light comes into view from around an upcoming corner, no doubt from the security guards. Ryuji nimbly slips into a tight space between two tall stacks of cargo pallets.
He holds his breath as they move closer and closer to his hiding place. Their footsteps are heavy on the ship's metal flooring. It seems as though they might be oblivious to the raid going on. None of them are moving with a sense of urgency or purpose. Two of them are loudly joking. Something about a crew incident involving an overzealous food generator.
Just move on already, Ryuji thinks with a touch of irritation. Instead, they linger right outside his hiding spot.
“Skull, do you copy?” Haru's small crackle of radio chatter is loud inside Ryuji's ear. He's certain that the patrol must have heard it too. Holding his breath he waits, pulse roaring inside his ears. By some dumb stroke of luck, the patrol finally moves away.
Their carelessness will no doubt involve later punishment. Ryuji doesn't envy them.
“Sorry, I was cornered,” Ryuji reports back as he slips from his hiding place. “Comin' back now.”
“Just be safe,” Akira tells him.
“If the cargo is ready, we'll begin beaming it over here,” Yusuke chimes in.
“It's all ready, Fox. Beam it up,” Ryuji tells him with a touch of pride.
“Copy. We'll get the cargo first and then we'll come back for you. Find a safe place to hide until then.”
“Copy that.”
“Good job, Skull,” Akira tells him, sounding as proud as Ryuji feels. “Be careful on the way back to us.”
“Will do.”
Yusuke teleports the cargo from the capital ship to Arsene with relative ease. Though, it's not a quick process. Ann, Ryuji, and Akira are forced to wait for almost an hour. It's nerve-wracking, as all three of them are likely thinking the same thoughts. Will the patrol come back around to find them? Has the capital ship's crew finally realized they have unauthorized guests aboard? How long will it take for them to notice the missing cargo?
“We're getting ready to beam you guys back,” Futaba tells them after a long period of silence. “I've been fighting with the capital's computers this whole time. They still can't go toe-to-toe with me, but it was a rough one this time.”
“Can you hold onto the hack a little longer?” Akira wonders, his voice tense.
“I think so. Hang on. Yusuke will get you guys out of there.”
“Well, hurry it up,” Ryuji grumbles, though he doesn't broadcast that complaint over the radio. His nerves are making him irritable.
It's all eerily similar to the way things went when Akira got hurt. They were so close to getting away unscathed-
“Hey!” A sudden fourth voice appears from some distance away. “There's cargo missing!”
“It's those damn thieves!” Another voice chimes in. “Sound the alarm!”
“Shit,” Ryuji growls, turning to look at Akira and Ann. A deafening cry of sirens echoes around the cargo chamber.
“Stay close together,” Akira yells over the noise. “Yusuke can pick us up easier if we're all in one spot.
“Get down!” Ann yelps as a blast of energy soars their way. It hits a pallet of cargo, burning a deep black hole through it. The three of them all hit the deck.
“Teleport us back! Now!” Akira implores their crew. “NOW.”
The first sensation of weightlessness washes over Ryuji. Yusuke has begun the teleporting process, they're almost in the clear-
“NO,” Ryuji cries out, scrambling forward. A member of the capital's guard has rounded the corner and aimed a gun at them. Ryuji puts himself between the barrel and the others, ready to take the shot. There's a loud pop as the gun discharges its blast. Pain shoots up the side of Ryuji's head. Then darkness.
* * *
Hours later, Ryuji awakens to find himself inside the Arsene's medical bay. The crew's head doctor, Tae Takemi, looms over him.
“Finally decided to wake up,” she snarks at him. The bright lights above his bed are blinding. Pain forms a dull ache at the center of his forehead. He closes his eyes as he tries to get his mind back in order.
“What happened?” Ryuji rasps. “Are Ann and Akira okay?”
“We're fine,” Akira's voice from Ryuji's left. Ryuji musters up all his energy to turn his head. He has to see Akira in the flesh to be sure it's him. To be sure he's safe. Ryuji opens his eyes and sighs in relief. “You probably saved our lives.”
“Oh yeah? I don't remember.”
“Yusuke was about to beam us back when a patrol found us.”
“And then you leaped at them like some kind of rabid monkey,” Ann chimes in, walking over to stand at the end of Ryuji's bed. “Their shot missed and hit a pallet. Knocked it over right on top of them and you.”
“That's why my head hurts so bad,” Ryuji surmises. He reaches up to feel along his forehead, finding a large goose egg. “Fuck.”
“You can take him now,” Takemi says in a dismissive tone. “Take painkillers as needed. Lots of rest and water. Come back if he acts confused or sleepy.”
“Got it,” Akira says as he offers Ryuji his hand. “You want to go back to our room to lie down?”
“Yeah, let's go,” Ryuji murmurs blearily.
* * *
A week later, healed from his 'heroic' injury, Ryuji returns to duty. They're headed back to their home planet to deliver the supplies. It's a two-week journey from their current location. Plenty of time to plan out their next raid. In fact, Ryuji is on his way down to the briefing room for one such meeting. He strolls with a feeling of confidence, eager to be off bed rest.
The door to the briefing room slides open upon his approach. Ryuji's expecting to see all the key members of the crew sitting around the table. Instead, there's only Akira. He's on the far side of the room, staring out a small observation window.
“What's goin' on?” Ryuji wonders as he approaches the captain. Akira glances over his shoulder, smiling softly. “Did I miss the meeting?”
“No, you're right on time,” Akira assures him.
“Then where is everyone?”
“It's just you and me this time.”
“Huh? Well, that's kind of a weird way to hold a meeting,” Ryuji moves over to stand next to Akira. Their shoulders brush lightly. “...This a meetin' or a date?”
“You tell me,” Akira says back, his tone amused. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”
“Yeah? You can ask me anything, man.”
“Alright,” Akira turns to face him. Ryuji notices for the first time the tense way his eyebrows are furrowed. And the way he keeps shifting from foot to foot. Ryuji's own nerves flare up. What's going on? “Give me your hand.”
“My hand?” Ryuji wonders. Akira carefully lifts his left hand up, examining it as he does so. “What? Does it look weird or somethin'?”
“No, it's fine,” Akira says around a rumble of laughter. His gray eyes flick up, catching Ryuji by surprise. If he's nervous now, it doesn't show on his face. Instead, he looks determined, much the same way he looks right before a mission. “Ryuji, I've been thinking a lot about the future. In a few more months our mission will be over. We can return home if we want to.”
“I know,” Ryuji replies in a soft tone. “You've always talked about doing a second tour. Another three years in space.”
“I still want that. I'm not ready to give up on this fight just yet.”
“I figured. You're stubborn like that.”
“But I'm also wondering about what it would be like to go home. To settle down,” Akira presses on. “You and I have been together for a while now. Even before we became Phantom Thieves.”
“Five years, or thereabout,” Ryuji confirms, though in truth he knows exactly how long it's been. He remembers the exact day, the exact hour, when they went from friends to more than. Before Akira was the young and bold captain of the Arsene, he was Ryuji's. “I came with you because I wanted to share in your dream. I still want that.”
“Are you sure...? You wouldn't rather have a normal life?”
“Yeah, I'm sure,” Ryuji insists. It's not a lie. He would honestly follow Akira anywhere. “It's not that I've grown tired of all of this. It's just that up until this point, nothing real bad had happened. Our first couple of years out here went so smoothly. Then the federation started taking people out. We've lost so many friends...”
“I know,” Akira whispers. “I've been thinking about that a lot recently.”
“So where does that leave us?”
“I've been offered a job.”
“What kind of job?” Ryuji wonders, shoulder tensing on instinct.
“The federation is tired of the Phantom Thieves running wild. They're willing to open negotiations. President Igor wants me to be the one to handle all that,” Akira explains. “We've had people working on the inside for a while, moving into positions of power within the federation. We've nearly flipped the government.”
“Holy shit. Are you for real?”
Akira can't help laughing, “Yeah, for real. We might be able to negotiate a peace treaty and restore trade.”
"When did all this happen?!"
"Over the past few weeks. You're the first person I've told, so keep it under wraps until we know more.
“You really think we have a good shot at it?” Ryuji wonders. It sounds wonderful, of course, but there's a lingering doubt.
“Won't know unless I try. Right?”
“What happens to the crew if it all works out?”
“President Igor wants to give the Arsene over to me. It would be whatever we needed it to be,” Akira shrugs his shoulders. “Might be cool to become interplanetary ambassadors or something. Negotiate trade and allyship with planets outside our sector. The Earth's forces are already doing a lot of that. We can join up with them. Spread peace throughout the galaxy.”
“It sounds like a dream,” Ryuji murmurs. “If there's a chance for us to do it, we should."
“I think so too” Akira insists, always so certain. Although, in Ryuji's experience, when Akira sets out to do something he always finds a way to get it done. “I want you with me.”
“I am with you,” Ryuji tells him. He leans forward to lightly knock his head against the front of Akira's. “Wherever you go, I'll follow.”
“So marry me.”
“...What?” Ryuji leans back, his eyes wide with shock. “Did you just-”
“Marry me, Ryuji,” Akira says again. He keeps his hold on Ryuji's hand as he kneels down on the floor, gazing up the entire time. From his back pocket, he produces a charcoal black ring, perfectly sized to slide onto Ryuji's ring finger. “I want us to be together forever. No matter where life takes us.”
“You idiot,” Ryuji grumbles. He's flustered, a little embarrassed, but so so happy. He runs the fingers of his free hand through Akira's hair. “You don't have to go all out with the kneeling and the weird words.”
“I wanted to give you the full experience.”
“More like you enjoy showing off,” Ryuji turns his head to glare at the far wall. There's a security camera there and he's pretty sure that all their friends are watching through it. “Get up here.”
Akira stands, grinning, completely pleased with himself, “Is that a yes?”
“C'mon, man. Don't make me say it again. Not in front of everyone.”
“Then whisper it in my ear.”
“I hate it when ya tease me like this,” Ryuji grumbles, hooking his arms around Akira's neck. Warmth, happiness, and a swirl of emotions spin inside his heart. Spending forever with Akira? He'd never say no to that. “Yes. I'll marry you.”