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The black car drives slowly along Festive Road, past a travel agency offering trips to the Verona amphitheatre for the opera season, and a community centre with a poster outside for the local am-dram performance of Julius Caesar. The occupant of the car thinks that Julius Caesar is a little ambitious for a community theatre group, but applauds their willingness to step outside the usual offerings of cheesy musicals.
The car stops outside number 52, where a bland-looking man in a bowler hat has just closed the gate. The car door opens. The man looks surprised, but gets in.
"Good morning, Benn."
"Mr Holmes. This is a surprise…"
"I expect it is. It seems you have caused something of a paradox as a result of your last little excursion. I have been called in to… shall we say… patch things up."
" I'm not sure I understand, sir."
"Your friend Lagru has gone missing from the maximum security facility where he was being held. It is important that we recover him. My colleague and I will seek him out and return him to custody. You will be joining us on our little… adventure."
Mr Benn notices the other man in the far corner of the car seat. Nondescript, greyish. Obviously secret service, now he notices him. The man flashes him a dazzling grin.
"Lestrade. That's all you need to know."
Mr Benn nods, swallowing nervously.
*****
The three men enter the shop. Lestrade looks around with interest.
"A costume shop? We going to a fancy-dress do?"
Mycroft smiles tightly.
"Not exactly, Lestrade. This is not an ordinary costume shop…"
As if by magic, the shopkeeper appears.
"Sir, this is very unusual…"
Mr Benn smiles apologetically. Mycroft drags his cool gaze across the shopkeeper, taking in the spectacles, the moustache, the fez.
"A paradox has occurred."
"Yes sir. Are you the fixer?"
"It seems I am. I require suitable attire for myself and my two companions."
"Yes, sir. Please step this way…"
*****
Mycroft puts on his costume and admires himself in the mirror. "Patrician purple", he thinks. "That will do very nicely". He opens the second door and steps through.
The sight that greets his eyes is not at all unpleasant. Mr Benn is wearing a short tunic and lace-up sandals, very simple, very plain. He obviously has no status at all. Mycroft approves of this. His own toga marks him out as a person of standing. He turns to Lestrade, who is grinning.
"It's not bad is it? I suppose I have to call you sir, here?"
"Hm. Yes, Lestrade. 'Sir' would be appropriate from my bodyguard."
Lestrade is in full praetorian guard kit. Half-armour, sword, shield and crested helmet. Red cloak fastened securely on one shoulder with a heavy gold clasp. He wears a short tunic under his armour, leaving his knees and lower thighs bare. His feet and lower legs are clad in 'caligae', sandal-boots. Mycroft nods approval. Lestrade makes a very good Roman guard.
Mycroft shakes his shoulders. No good getting distracted by a pair of very nice knees. He turns to his slave.
"Where did you last see Lagru, Benn?"
"At the amphitheatre, sir. He was down in the tunnels when I was called back."
Mycroft nods, and gestures to Lestrade to lead the way.
*****
Mycroft sighs as the final pair of gladiators appear at opposite ends of the arena. "Smasher" Lagru is a clever hand to hand fighter, and an expert fencer, but he is facing a retiarius, fighting with trident and net, who has the advantage of reach. If Lagru tries to get close enough to use his gladius, his sword, he risks being entangled in the net. If he keeps moving to stay out of the reach of the trident, he will tire quickly. His heavy armour, helmet and shield will slow him down. In this fight, Lagru's opponent has every advantage.
"We have to stop this fight."
"We can't, sir."
Mycroft looks at Lestrade speculatively.
"Then we need to make sure Lagru wins. I need you to cause a distraction, Lestrade. A loud one."
Lestrade nods, recognising the silhouette of a silenced handgun under Mycroft's toga.
*****
"At least you had the sense to thrust your gladius into the wound to disguise the bullet track. We don't want any early emergence of projectile weapons."
"Yeah. Thanks for watching my back for me. What alerted you?"
"An escape from an escape-proof facility."
"I disappeared? That's weird."
"Yes. Paradoxical."
"I think old Benny boy thought he was the only one who knew about the portal…"
"Yes. And now Lestrade knows…"
"He'll keep it quiet. Funniest thing ever, him chasing Benny down into the arena with his cloak off and his arse showing."
"I needed a distraction…"
"You got one. I suppose I'm back to my cell now?"
"For a little longer."
The fez-wearing shopkeeper appears in the doorway and beckons to Lagru. By the time Mycroft follows, there is no sign of him. Mycroft knows that Lagru's changing-room door will have opened into his cell at the top-secret government facility. Mycroft's own door opens into the costume shop.
"I don't seem to have brought back a souvenir…"
"That's because you took something with you. You had to bring that back. Your new friend will have something to remember."
"Oh, I have something to remember."
Mycroft turns a little pink at the memory of Lestrade's muscular thighs, and the glimpse of his very nice arse. He smiles at the delight on Lestrade's face when he appears from the changing room holding the gold clasp from his cloak.
"It proves it was real." Mycroft touches Lestrade's arm gently. "You realise you must never speak of this to anyone…"
Lestrade grins.
"They'd think I was nuts if I did. But don't worry. I won't talk. Did you get a souvenir as well?"
"No. There is only one souvenir per trip. But I have a good memory. I won't forget it."