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Lena stood on one end of Kara’s living room, leaning casually against the wall in her fuzzy evergreen sweater and dark jeans--the “holiday subtle” look, she called it, even with the bright red lipstick. She was vaguely listening to Brainy go on about the statistical probability of a moth flying into one’s ear in various scenarios (thankfully low across the board), while enjoying the quiet but festive atmosphere in the apartment. It was Kara’s annual Christmas get together, and Lena was feeling quite at peace there. She couldn’t help but smile as she glanced around, appreciating the blinking colored lights lining all of the windows, the garland and candles spread across every surface, and Kara’s Christmas tree over in the corner decorated with an eclectic and very “Kara-esque” collection of ornaments.
She and Kara had gotten the tree together the day prior, and spent the afternoon decorating it until every available branch had an ornament. Kara’s favorites included an “I Love Lucy” chocolate factory design that featured an actual moving candy conveyor belt, a “good luck pickle” that was hidden somewhere in the tree, and the handmade ones that she and Lena had done together two years ago. Of course, Lena had missed all of the holiday festivities last year, due to being sucked into the vortex of her own pain.
Thankfully, they had come a long way from that by this point. After they’d teamed up and defeated Lex, there had been many hours spent crying, hugging, and apologizing ad nauseum, until finally a moratorium on it had been declared by both. They’d also each spent time in therapy, with Lena in particular dedicating a copious number of hours and only recently being able to whittle down to once per week. Honestly, at this point she’d probably never been in possession of better mental health at any time in her life post-age four. And she and Kara were undoubtedly even closer than they had been. Even Alex had forgiven her. Lena sighed contentedly, before glancing around the room to locate the woman dominating her thoughts.
As Kelly shifted toward the cookie table, Kara came into her line of sight, wearing a powder blue sweater with a giant snowman on it and an understated pair of navy pants. She smiled at the sight, Kara laughing and waving her hands around, until Kelly shifted even further, and Lena was able to see to whom Kara was speaking. William. Lena involuntarily clenched her jaw and wrinkled her upper lip for at least 30 seconds before she could school her features back to “Christmas Party Appropriate.”
Her momentary lapse was noticed by Alex, who had been across the room chatting with Sam Arias about the most puzzling gifts they’d ever gotten from people who supposedly knew them well. Alex had just finished describing an ornate footstool complete with embroidery, tassels, and beads that her mother had selected for her one year, when she looked up and saw Lena.
“Whoa, what just happened with Lena’s face?”
In unison, Sam and Alex followed her line of sight toward the Christmas tree area, then quickly turned back to each other, eyebrows raised.
“Oh,” Sam commented, “Well I guess...should one of us check in on her?”
Alex nodded. “I will, before she squeezes that glass in her hand so tight it breaks and spills precious bourbon all over the floor.”
She strode across the room until she landed next to Lena, and leaned back against the wall as well. “Fix your face, Luthor,” she whispered, as Lena’s grimace had made its way back without her noticing, “You look like someone watered down your drink or something.”
Lena glanced over at her quickly, raising her eyebrow but losing the battle to appear unaware of what Alex meant. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering “Apparently I’m no longer skilled at hiding my emotions.”
“Yeah, that’s a good thing, my friend,” said Alex lightly, as she leaned forward and made eye contact with Brainy, addressing him directly. “Hey, Brainy, Nia is over in the kitchen looking like she needs a friend.”
Brainy gave a startled, “Oh!” and formally excused himself from the conversation with Lena, who nodded and waved her hand in a manner that let him know she was not insulted.
Alex glanced at Lena, who had returned her gaze to Kara and William laughing, followed by letting out a gigantic sigh.
“Has she...not mentioned him to you?”
Lena shrugged, “I mean, here and there, vaguely. I know they...” Lena cleared her throat, “went out once...? Twice? I...I didn’t think there was much of a story there.”
“There’s not.” Alex said flatly, and when Lena looked at her with some skepticism, Alex added, “Really. I think...he pursued her, she was encouraged to give him a chance by people, including me, ” she said, looking down and making a regretful face, “because...well, whatever, she was feeling pretty down and he seemed all right and I’m sorry. But things never seemed to really go anywhere and then he was traveling a lot for stories and you guys made up and she wasn’t sad anymore.”
Lena started to say, “Why are you apologizing to me?” but stopped herself, because obviously, they both knew why. “You don’t have to apologize. You wanted her to be happy. So do I.”
Alex sighed, “Why don’t you ask her if there’s anything going on? I mean, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
To Alex’s surprise, Lena teared up, “I can’t lose her again. I can’t risk...I’m so grateful that she forgave me and has allowed me back into her life. And although it’s apparently evident to you and everyone else, except possibly Kara, how I feel about her, I...can’t lose her.”
Whoa, thought Alex. She wasn’t expecting a full on confession, if you could call what Lena just alluded to as such. “You’re not going to lose her. And you sure as hell aren’t going to lose her over that guy.” Alex paused, and shook her head. She was really trying to work on her tendency toward...bossiness, and didn’t want to push Lena to do something she wasn’t ready for. “Listen,” she said softly, “you do whatever you are comfortable with, but...you guys put each other through hell and have come back. I think you can survive whatever it is you think her reaction might be. Just ask her about him...you’ll at least have an answer and then you can go from there.”
Lena nodded, taking a sip of her drink, “That sounds logical. I will...do my best to follow through when I get a chance to speak to her alone. Thank you, Alex.”
Alex briefly squeezed Lena’s arm, before suggesting they wander over to the cookie table and say hi to Kelly, as she had yet to abandon it since her approach fifteen minutes ago.
*********
The rest of the party passed uneventfully and rather happily, as Kara moved away from William shortly after Alex and Lena’s discussion. Lena had a moment of anxiety, hoping that Kara and her superhearing hadn’t overheard them (she still sometimes forgot about that power!) but knew Kara respected the privacy of others, and would not have eavesdropped on anything less than indications of danger.
Kara flitted around between guests, but spent most of her time hanging out with Alex, Kelly, and Lena. She parked herself at the cookie table once she noticed them there.
“Cookies and friends, what’s better than that?” She’d said, through a mouthful of snickerdoodle.
At one point, Alex whispered, “You’re gazing,” to which Lena replied softly, “Mind your business,” before returning to Kara, who was leaning forward with her arms across the table and her hands clasped, laughing at something Nia had said. Kara then looked up, catching her ‘gazing’ and gave a sweet smile, which Lena returned. She fell easily into their conversation, continuing on as other guests slowly drifted away for the night.
It was well past midnight when Alex and Kelly left, and after helping Kara finish the cleanup, they sat down on the couch together. Never a question that Lena would be the last to leave, and that there was an open invitation to sleep over.
“Thanks for cleaning up with me, it was a big help,” Kara said, glancing toward her with a smile.
“Anything for you,” Lena replied impulsively, before realizing that was a bit much in response to the comment at hand.
But Kara just let out a soft laugh, and shook her head. “Ah, what did I do to deserve you?” She reached over and clasped Lena’s hand, and after a slight pause, added, “Did you have fun?”
Lena nodding, feeling relaxed and a bit tired from the late hour and her slight buzz. She ran her finger around the edge of her wine glass, having switched to that at some point during the night. “You?”
“Are you kidding?” Kara replied, “Of COURSE!” she said, leaning closer to Lena as the words came out, as if to emphasize her point. “All the people I love in one room? And Christmas? You know I really can’t ask for anything more.”
Kara threw her arm around Lena’s shoulders, and they sank back into the couch. Lena closed her eyes, tilting her head to lean against Kara’s.
“You okay?” Kara asked after a few moments of sitting. “You’re kind of quiet. Which is fine, of course, you’re allowed to be quiet, but just...you okay?” She pulled back a bit to look at Lena’s face, and Lena sat forward as well, turning her body on the couch so she was facing her.
“Yeah,” she cleared her throat, deciding she did want to ask about William. She truly couldn’t conceive of the idea that Kara was really interested in him and hadn’t told her, but there was only one way to find out for sure. Her heart was hammering in her chest, irritating her, especially after Kara’s look of concern told her she’d clearly heard it.
“Really, I’m...I’m fine. I was just,” she looked down into her wine glass, as if it could give her some answers, “I was just wondering about William.”
Kara’s entire face wrinkled in confusion, “William? What about William? Why would you wonder about William?”
Lena nearly laughed at Kara’s reaction, as she may as well had just said ‘Huh??’, but then remembered she was vaguely terrified. She rubbed her hand across her forehead and forged on, “Because I...noticed you talking to him tonight, and...I know you two went on a date, or a couple of them, and I wasn’t sure if you were interested in him. And were afraid to tell me, for some reason.”
Kara turned more fully to face her, drawing one leg up onto the couch and folding it toward her. She fixed her with a quizzical expression which Lena couldn’t quite read.
“No...no, I’m not...interested in him,” she replied, shaking her head as if she was trying to clear it, “I mean, he’s not terrible, he’s...fine I guess, and we did go on a couple dates, and he definitely likes me, so” she shrugged, her voice growing a bit more dejected, “when people encouraged me to give him a chance, I figured I might as well. No one else was banging down my door or anything.” She looked down at her socks, picking at a thread on Santa’s beard, “I mean, you know, I’m kind of...quirky and awkward and, also have to run off mysteriously all the time. So I thought, maybe he was kind of the best I could get? And, he’s fine. But no, I—he’s not even on my radar at this point, to be honest. That’s not what I want, even if I can never get what I want. What?” Kara asked, as she noticed Lena giving her a look.
“Oh Kara,” Lena said sadly, not believing her beautiful friend had been filled with such doubts about her self-worth, but then again, everyone certainly had them from time to time, and given what Kara was going through at that time, it really wasn’t that surprising. Lena reached her hand up and hesitantly laid it against Kara’s check. Kara closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. “You are extraordinary.” She whispered, leaning closer, “And you deserve someone extraordinary.”
Kara opened her eyes and swallowed, both of their eyes suddenly welling up with tears.
“Thank you,” she said simply, and then looked at Lena with such intensity she felt that her entire soul must be exposed. She placed her hand over Lena’s, moving it to her mouth and kissing her palm gently before returning it to its original position. “You are extraordinary,” she breathed, “You are the one,” and by this point their faces were so close together Lena felt the puff of air from Kara’s words on her lips. Kara reached up and tucked Lena’s hair behind her ear, keeping her fingers threaded through it when she was done. Lena was completely overwhelmed by her emotions, tears running down her cheeks at this point, because it was quite clear, even to her cynical brain, that Kara wanted her.
They stared at each other for several moments, before Lena could bring herself to say when had been running through her mind all night. She was choked up from the tears, but managed to get the words out anyway. “Oh Kara, I am so in love with you.”
“Lena,” she whispered, before bringing their lips together over and over again, whispering “I love you,” between each small kiss, before pulling back and adding “I have never loved anyone the way that I love you.”
Lena broke into a watery smile, and pulled Kara toward her, giving her a kiss that poured the depth of the love she’d carried for Kara throughout nearly their entire friendship into it. They finally broke apart after several moments, breathing heavily.
“Well, Merry Christmas,” Kara said softly, trailing her finger along Lena’s jawline, and looking at her with so much devotion, Lena felt like her heart was about to burst.
“Merry Christmas, my love.”
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Here it is: Alex's footstool