Chapter Text
Levi hadn’t seen another human for two days.
Weaving around the wide trunks, Levi made sure to trod carefully. Each foot landed lightly on the solid ground, aiming to hop between stones and avoid leaving tracks. It was slow, but significantly lowered the risk of getting caught. He couldn't take chances in enemy Eldian territory, especially now that they knew he was out there. Now that his squad was dead.
It was a little past midnight when Oulo had fallen asleep while on lookout.
His head rolled into Levi’s tent what must have only been minutes after they found them, eyes still closed.
Monsters.
Levi squeezed his eyes shut, leaning against a tree and taking a deep breath. Petra’s wide, unblinking amber eyes stared through his lids, cutting through his consciousness. He could still imagine the determination she had looked at him with only a month earlier when they were assigned their mission.
It’ll be a simple scouting mission, Erwin reassured, ever the devoted commander. Get in, make a few map markings and get out.
Petra has replied with a “Yes sir” more determined than ever before. She was eager. Her request for a leave of absence had been approved only a few days ago. Her father was going to have surgery and needed someone to look after him. She had gotten permission to leave after this “simple scouting mission.”
Simple scouting mission his ass.
Levi pushed himself up off the side of the large trunk and kept moving. He banished the dark thoughts to the tiny recesses of his mind for him to never process. He didn’t have time to consciously mourn. In his escape he had been able to dispose of some of the opposing soldiers, but a few were still left standing. For the first few days the snap of a twig meant enemy and the slight murmuring of the wind signaled unfriendly chatter. Now, when he heard a rustling of the leaves it was more likely to be a rabbit.
He didn’t like it.
It had turned into a waiting game. Waiting for danger, the enemy, chaos. All Levi could do was keep walking and pray that he could find his way out before the Eldian army found him.
He looked up past the tree tops to the horizon. In the distance stood the snow glazed mountain range that marked freedom. His eyes squinted against the sun, calculating how long it would take for him to reach. Perhaps another day of his normal speed. Two if he was being careful. Levi would hike through the night.
Only a few steps more and Levi could make out the babbling of a small stream up ahead. He sagged in relief. His flask was getting light and a layer of grime had built up over the past few days. The prospect of cleaning up was attractive enough to tempt fate, if only for a few minutes. Levi sped up.
At the edge of the stream Levi carefully dipped his flask into the clear water before securing it to his belt and starting to undress, carefully folding his clothes on a nearby rock. He left his gun only an arms length away.
The water was almost unpleasantly cool, but the brisk temperature revived some of Levi’s spirits. Especially when he watched the dirt that had attached itself to his body drift away in brown tendrils. This was the most clean he’d felt in weeks and he could almost imagine he wasn’t in enemy territory surrounded by people who wanted to kill him. He splashed some water onto his face and scrubbed, feeling the shadow of bristles that had grown. As he washed, he let his mind wander to the warm bath he would be sure to take as soon as he made it back to base. With soap. How Levi missed soap.
The chill of the river started to soak into his bones and Levi decided it was time to get out. He had made it out onto the rocks besides the stream, just buttoning up his jacket when he heard shouting and shots being fired in the distance.
Blood rushed through his veins as adrenaline pumped through his system. He swung his bag around his shoulder, shirt still half unbuttoned, and jumped behind the nearest bush. There was a boulder right next to him that Levi supposed could act as a shield if he crouched low enough. His hand clenched around the barrel of his gun and cocked it.
He aimed ahead of him in the direction where the commotion was still ongoing. There were screams. Levi tried not to think of his squad.
This was it. The danger, the enemy, chaos. Levi was certain he could handle two, maybe even three, men easily, but judging by the number of shots this squirmish was anything but small.
But where there was fighting meant more of his men. Maybe his side would win and they could all make it back together. Safety in numbers and all that. He let his hopes rise, breath hitching as he held still. Waiting.
There was a shot and he looked up to the sky to see a stream of green smoke. Eldian smoke. His side has lost.
Levi should have known, he was never that lucky. He was a dead man walking.
His hand twitched on the trigger in anticipation and he counted down the minutes until he would have to make what could very well be his last stand. He lightly shifted his weight to his other foot, his ears straining to hear anything. There were a few more scattered shots, signifying injuries, death. More lives needlessly taken away by some pointless conflict. In the gun-shot scattered silence, Levi let his mind wander.
Did he know any of the men out there?
Levi shook his head, wet hair whipping the side of his face, whipping him back from his dark thoughts.
A few minutes and then, quiet.
Tense and heavy, like it could snap at any moment. The type that made it hard for Levi to breathe.
Levi took a deep breath in anyways, waiting for boots to come stomping through the forest. He took stock of his surroundings once again. Bush, boulder, trees… Did he have enough time to climb?
No. There was a crunch of leave up ahead, coming from behind a larger clump of trees. Low hanging branches and young, still thin and willowy saplings made it impossible to make out anything other than a single form staggering through. Levi adjusted his firearm, ready to take that one, deadly shot between the man's eyes.
Then the figure fell through the branches and Levi didn’t have to shoot as the soldier collapsed in front of him.
Levi waited a few moments to see if anyone else was coming. At the count of 500 there was still no one else in sight. In favor of saving bullets, Levi left his hiding position to approach the human slumped on the ground. He slipped the dagger attached to his thigh from its sheath.
A red splotch on a green and black uniform told Levi that the man on the ground was bleeding from a shot in his side. Not enough to knock him out though. Levi kicked him where he’d been shot and the man groaned turning over to his back. Long brown hair covered his face and a nasty bruise that was forming on the side of his head. That explained why he passed out at least.
The man groaned again, arm moving so that the Eldian crest on his jacket was visible and suddenly Levi saw red. He thought of all his squadmates, Oulo’s rolling head, Petra’s empty eyes, and directed all the force into his arm as he swung the knife down. He wasn’t going to simply slit the man’s throat, this would hurt. For his squad.
Then the man opened his eyes, bright green blinking up at him.
A vision of the same man, younger and with shorter hair, flashed through his mind. Of windswept bangs and a determined glint that was just as deadly as any knife. Levi knew this man.
Levi’s arm stopped a hair’s breadth away from the man’s chest. His eyes were wide as he gazed into the confused green. A single name flashed through his head. His jaw fell open and he was speaking before he knew what he was doing.
“Eren,” Levi whispered.
The man- Eren’s- eyebrows furrowed in confusion and his eyes flickered down Levi’s figure. He seemed to quickly register the blade held to his chest and thrust his arms forward to shove Levi away. More in shock than anything else, Levi fell to his ass, knife held slackly in his hand.
Eren scooted back, clutching his side with one hand and grappling around for some sort of weapon with the other. He found a stick and Levi almost snorted.
Eren carefully scanned Levi’s form before stopping at his chest, studying the symbols over the jacket's right breast pocket. Levi slowly rose to a crouching position, resheathing his knife. He held a hand out in front of him as if placating a wild animal. This man he suddenly remembered. He was important. He was important to Levi.
Green eyes finally flickered back up to Levi’s face and Levi could see him getting ready to speak.
“C-captain,” Eren said, eyes still wide and disbelieving.
The memories started to flood back to Levi. Of this man saluting to him, hero-worshipping him as his captain. He was a captain. Eren’s captain. He remembered too. Levi opened his mouth to speak but Eren beat him to it.
“You’re a Marley captain!” Eren shouted, grabbing frantically for the gun that had twisted around his form. Levi was faster to react and jumped forward, not hesitating for a moment before hitting Eren over the head again. He slumped back onto the ground and Levi sighed.
Now what was he supposed to do?
In the end, Levi decided not to move Eren too far, settling him beside the stream.
He had no idea what he was doing and if Erwin could see him now, Levi was sure he would be on the receiving end of one of his famous stares. A thick eyebrow raised just a fraction to tell him that what he was doing was questionable. Looking at the young man in front of him now, shirtless and bleeding from where a bullet had grazed him, Levi would have to agree. Why else would he decide to bandage an enemy soldier?
Yet, whenever he questioned himself, all he had to do was close his eyes to see visions of him helping the boy. Of him holding a handkerchief out as he vomited blood, of saving him from the jaws of a giant, of him cutting him from the back of a monster. His heart would tug at him and he knew. He had to help Eren.
Tearing the boy’s shirt for cloth and wetting it in the brook to clean his wound, Levi’s survival instincts reasoned with him enough to at least tie him up. He fashioned some rope out of long streams of Eren’s shirt.
This turned out to be a good idea a few hours later when Eren awoke. He was pissed. His eyes glared up at the sky and he started thrashing despite the makeshift rope binding his arms and legs together. His long hair lashed around his face crazily.
“Let me go!” Eren shouted and screamed as if someone could hear him. “Help!”
Levi jolted awake from where he’d fallen asleep, sitting against a tree, and jumped up to stand over where Eren was screeching his head off. He scowled at the wiggling man.
“Oi! Shut the fuck up and stop moving!” Levi growled, crouching next to him. “You’ll only hurt yourself.”
Eren, of course, being the absolute shit Levi remembered him to be, did not shut up. Levi found himself wishing he had also gagged him. It was never too late, and his fingers were itching to wedge the fabric between the young man's teeth but Levi distinctly remembered how hard Eren could bite. He didn't want his hands anywhere near those set of chompers. He hesitated to tear another strip of fabric off to silence him.
Luckily, it never came to that as Eren’s screaming suddenly cut off with a whimper. He bit his lip and tried to clutch at his side. His bound hands prevented him from fully reaching the source of his pain. Levi sighed and reached over. To his great displeasure, Eren tried to roll away. An irritated headache started to pitch between his eyebrows and Levi grabbed Eren’s shoulder to pin him to the ground.
“Shut up, sit still and listen.” Levi’s glare met Eren’s and for the first time in his life, someone met it full force. “You were injured and I’m helping you. Don’t make me regret it.”
“I’m a low level soldier, I know nothing. Why help me,” Eren ground out. It was more of a command than a question, but Levi decided to humor it.
“Because it felt right,” was the only answer Levi had. Eren seemed unsatisfied as he clenched his jaw and looked away with a scowl.
“You said my name back there,” Eren commented, still not looking at Levi. “How do you know it?”
“You don’t remember me," Levi stated blandly, a little disheartened. If his memories weren’t so vivid, he would believe he was actually crazy.
Eren didn’t respond and instead closed his eyes, giving one more tug at the rope binding his wrists before sighing in defeat when they didn’t loosen. He looked back over to Levi.
“So now what? What feels right now?” Eren asked mockingly. “Because you’re still in Eldian territory, Mr. Marley Captain, and dragging around an unwilling captive doesn’t sound like the best plan for getting out of this alive.”
And of course Eren was right. Levi had no idea what he was going to do now. Bandaging the man was a spur of the moment decision. Levi wasn’t exactly known for his planning skills but even this level of carelessness was new to him.
He went over the checklist of tasks he would normally try to accomplish had he not decided to take on a bound and wounded enemy soldier. Food, check. He’d captured a rabbit while Eren was asleep and there were a few recognizable herbs that he could use for cooking. Water, check. They were right next to a stream after all. Putting as much distance between himself and the enemy… Levi looked down to Eren. Definitely not.
Looking into his pack, Levi noticed his medical supplies and ammo were running low as well. If Eren pulled his stitches or he got injured...
Then his mind flashed back to the shots he’d heard earlier. The squirmish. He’d only seen Eren walking away which meant there was a bloody scene of dead men not too far away. A bloody scene of dead men and their supplies.
“Eren,” Levi said, still thinking. Green eyes blinked up to him as Levi thought. Was the potential for a few more rounds of ammo and another role of bandages worth it? “You came from a battle field, right?” Eren was silent. “Was anyone else alive before you limped off?”
Eren’s jaw locked up. There was a fire in his eyes. Defiance. Levi knew when someone wasn't going to talk. With a shake of his head, he returned his attention to the bandages. Levi had cleaned and stitched it up before applying the white wrappings. The ooze of blood had all but stopped, but now red was starting to seep through. Eren’s movements must have busted a stitch.
He gently pulled back the gauze, face impassive as he examined the threads hanging from Eren's side. He was going to have to restitch the area. There go more supplies.
“You ripped open a few stitches,” Levi commented, reaching back for his bag.
“Good,” Eren replied petulantly. “Let me bleed out and die.”
Levi shook his head and removed the needle from the packaging, threading the medical string through the head. He swabbed at the wound to wipe up excess blood.
“This is going to hurt,” Levi said, giving Eren only a half a second before plunging the needle into his side. To the young man’s credit, he didn’t flinch, only hissing once with the initial stick of the needle. When he finished, Levi washed the area off once more and reapplied fresh bandaging. He was close to running out. Looking at the now significantly paler man, Levi decided they had to brave the hopefully empty battlefield.
“Look kid,” Levi started. “I know you don’t want to talk to me or give me information, but we are definitely going back to wherever you came from. It would really be in your best interest if you just told me if anyone else survived.”
Eren growled at him.
“Everyone is dead,” the young man barked. “Your people killed them all with an explosion. It even took out their own men!” Levi’s eyes widened slightly at that. They weren’t allowed to carry explosives. “You’re all monsters!”
Levi’s expression creased at that last declaration. It reminded him of himself. Of his own twisted thoughts. An anger started to build within in his chest. Eren's words, 'monsters,' repeated in his head like a scratched record. Monsters, monsters, monsters.
Oulo's head. Petra's eyes.
Monsters.
His anger was now a raging inferno threatening to burn his mind and body to a crisp.
“At least we don’t lop off soldiers’ heads and throw them at their friends.” On the surface Levi was calm. Only a single, slim eyebrow raised as though it could cut through Eren's indifferent. But his words were childish and cold only meant to anger Eren further.
“We would never do that!” Eren shouted, starting to struggle again. Levi wanted to let him continue, wanted to watch the pain that would surely follow, but that would only be a waste of supplies they didn’t have. With a snarl, Levi jumped forward and held him down instead, getting satisfaction out of the way Eren's brow clenched in pain and anger at being forced still.
“Tell that to Oulo, my comrade and squadmate for nearly half a decade,” Levi deadpanned, the rage he felt not leaving with his voice. “His head was thrown into my tent seconds before they attacked.”
“Liar!” Eren shouted. He looked pissed, eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. It was an exhilarating expression. The inferno died, Levi’s anger starting to morph into another emotion he was certain he never dared associated with the younger before. In his past life it was all gentle warmth and affection. This was different. Like his anger it was still hot, burning, rough but not truly violent.
Lust.
Levi licked his lips.
“Well we don’t carry explosives either,” he countered, face coming in close to Eren's. The man let a brief look of terror cross his face, the emotion extinguishing whatever Levi had been feeling. He pulled back with a sigh. “I hate to break it to you, brat, but this is war and crazy people with demented ideas get away with horrendous shit all the time. The battle ground is a breeding ground for insanity and a playground for the disturbed.”
Eren just scowled at Levi as if he could force the words back into his mouth through sheer force of will. After a few seconds of nothing but Eren's angry stare before he spoke again.
“We fight for justice and freedom.”
Levi was taken aback, a small, condescending laugh leaving him before he could stop. The renewed ferocity in Eren's struggles told Levi his reaction had only enraged the man more.
“You’re naive, brat,” Levi said. Affection tugged at his heart because the phrase felt so familiar. “You fight for justice and freedom. Perhaps some other soldiers do too. The others however, including the people you serve under, they mostly fight for power, money and land. Nothing more.” Levi narrowed his eyes in what he’d been told is a piercing glare. “And sure, maybe sometimes a person who craves nothing but blood and violence slips through the cracks. There is nothing you can do about it.”
“But when we win,” Eren said. “There will be justice and we will be free.”
Levi looked at Eren pityingly.
“Is that what you call killing people you don’t know?” Levi asked quietly. “Justice?”
“Then what do you fight for?” Eren jutting his chin out.
“Trust me, kid. I have no illusions of grandeur nor a need for power, money or blood. I fight because I have nothing else left,” Levi said, looking away. “It’s the only thing I’m good at.”
Eren thunked his head against the ground. Levi said a small ‘oi’ because he probably had a concussion, but ultimately left it alone.
“Well yeah, you’d be a shitty medic,” Eren commented lightly. Levi’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at the friendlier tone. “Those stitches are not going to heal pretty.”
“I think scars are pretty badass.” Levi jabbed at the bandages just hard enough to elicit a small shriek. More of surprise than pain. Eren huffed out a laugh and Levi let a small smile reach his lips.
“I’ll be able to show it off. If I sell it right, Jean will definitely be jealous,” Eren commented.
“I don’t know about that Jean guy, but I think I would most certainly be,” Levi said back. Then creased his eyebrows at the thought of the future, his smile falling from his face as suddenly as it had arrived. He looked up to the sky where the sun was leaning lazily to the west. It was past noon. “We should probably be headed out soon. Before it gets dark.”
“I’m tied up,” Eren commented, holding his arms up as if the older man would simply let him go. Levi just stared at him, unimpressed.
“So you are. If I let you go will you run away?” Eren bit his lip and looked away.
“No.”
That was a yes. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose.
“This is how it’s going to go,” Levi started. “I am going to untie your legs and you will not run. If you do, I will not hesitate to shoot. Not to mention it won’t be hard to chase down a man with his arms tied together. Can you handle that?”
Eren nodded mutely, pursing his lips as if he was deep in thought. Probably deciding whether or not he should actually try to escape. Levi liked how he wore his heart on his sleeve. He was easy to read. Simple.
“Alright.” Levi hoisted the gun up to his side. Cocking it to be ready and gave Eren a pointed look. The young man’s minute, almost unnoticeable movements stopped and he froze, looking like a statue. Judging by his expression, the gun had helped him reach his final decision of not running. “I’m going to cut the rope now. Stay still.”
Levi once again pulled out his dagger, this time with the intention of freeing someone instead of ending someone. Eren watched the blade with nervous eyes, releasing his breath when Levi put the knife away after cutting the rope away.
Levi stood up and watched Eren scramble to his stomach to push himself up to his knees. Levi suddenly had a vision of Eren kneeling just as he was with arms secured behind him. Levi's breath hitched and he stayed quiet, watching Eren as he winced while moving to his feet. Green eyes turned to Levi.
“You’re short,” Eren commented as though confused. Levi kicked him in retribution.
“In front of me.” Levi shrugged the barrel of his gun. “You’ll have to lead me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Eren griped, stumbling slightly as he moved forward. He shoved his way through the woods much more gracefully this time and it was only a few minutes until Levi found himself looking grimly out at a field of corpses.
The stench of rotting flesh hadn’t settled in yet, but the smell of burning flesh still lingered. It rose from the singed, burnt corpses in a circle of blackened grass. There had definitely been an explosion.
Next to him Eren started to gag. Levi turned to see him covering his mouth with his hands, eyes wide with tears building up and causing them to become glassy.
“I- It wasn’t this bad before,” Eren whispered, voice cracking. He bent down, hair curtaining his eyes and started to vomit.
Levi reacted instinctively and dropped his gun, allowing it to hang by the sash around his neck to hold Eren’s hair back. His other hand to rub the small of his back. He shushed the man softly as he started to sob.
“Captain,” Eren breathed out. “Oh god, why?”
Eren was clearly in shock, his chest heaving in what Levi could recognize as a panic attack.
“Breathe, Eren,” Levi said. “Breathe.”
“Why do we do this, Levi?” Eren sobbed and Levi froze. Eren seemed to notice and look up at him, tears still streaming down his face. Levi carefully pulled away.
“I never told you my name.” Levi’s eyes narrowed as he inspected the man in front of him. His mouth opened in a small gasp, tears stopping as his mind obviously just now catching up to his mouth.