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It was the holiday season, and it was a time Will loathed with every inch of his body. Do not be confused, it is not because he does not have a family to celebrate it. That was something he left behind years ago. However, this was the time when people decided it was best to be… kinder. To extend an olive branch that has been burned far before it had enough time to grow roots. It somehow got even worse when he was incarcerated for something he did not do. He did not kill Abigail Hobbs. He did not consume her willingly, and he knew who was responsible.
Now that he is out of that God forsaken place, there was so much guilt and wariness. It seemed as if those emotions were always hand in hand. Will never understood it, at least… not anymore. He had held so much guilt. So much fear. Now that he is out, it all felt so far away. He only had one thing in mind, to catch Hannibal Lecter.
Will knew it was an obsession at this point, although he wasn’t going to do anything to change it. Sometimes, one has to develop an obsession to truly understand it. To become one with the said obsession.
Maybe Alana was right, he did get too close. However, it was not what she thought. Or… maybe it was. He and Hannibal’s destinies were now intertwined in ways he couldn’t deny. Will no longer wanted to fight it. No. He was going to embrace it and use it to his advantage.
Hannibal wanted to be his friend? Done. Hannibal wanted to be understood to the point of serendipity? Fine. After all, it was all about Hannibal’s vanity. Will truly cannot believe he got Jack Crawford to help him, after all this time. But he was going to take all he was going to get.
He would not lose this. Never again.
Will had dinner with Hannibal the next day, and he was now retiring to bed. He yawned as he passed by all of his dogs, giving them a few pats on his way to his bed. Will gracelessly threw himself onto it, sighing heavily as he made contact.
His eyes closed, already pushing all of the insecurities out. Will couldn’t think that way. Not now when he could almost taste it. Taste the satisfaction of beating Hannibal Lecter at his own game. He was a good fisherman after all.
As Will began to fall asleep, something shifted within him. A warning of some sort.
Will’s eyes fluttered open, nearly throwing himself off of the bed when he saw Alana in front of him.
“Alana?!” Will blurted, his chest rising rapidly up and down.
Alana smiled at him, although she looked sad. “Yes, Will.”
Will swallowed thickly, eyes scanning the room. “What are you doing in my room?”
Alana hummed, patient as ever. “I’m not actually Alana.” She began, “I am the personification of her. She is your past, correct? Something that you take some comfort in, but also hold some anger.”
Laughing almost hysterically, Will laid back down. He threaded his fingers through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’ve lost it.” He whispered, “I officially lost it.”
Will felt a warm hand against his arm, making him open his eyes and look at the woman in front of him. Or… were they not a woman at all? They did say they were a personification of Alana so then-
“Just call me Alana. It will make the process easier.” The Alana look-a-like said, her voice sounding just as soothing as Alana herself. It was rather off putting.
Them saying that last bit made Will pause, “Process? What… what process?”
What the hell was going on? Was this a test of some sort? Did his encephalitis come back full force? Or did he fully go mad? What would Jack say about this? He was screwed.
The Alana look-a-like cleared her throat, making Will focus on her again. There was one thing he did notice that was different, the Alana in front of him had an outline of gold. She was glowing.
When people told him he needed a come to Jesus moment, this was not what he had in mind. Especially in Jesus being Alana. That is not what he would have created for himself at all. He was getting lost within all of this. He needed answers. Now.
“What are you talking about?” Will said clearly, sitting up. “What do you mean by process?”
Alana smiled, looking pleased. “We are going to look at your past,” She explained, “We are going to go through certain aspects of your life that have led you here. You need to make a choice. Turn Hannibal in or join him.”
Will let out a choked out laugh in disbelief. “Join him?! Why would I do that after everything he has done?”
Alana opened her mouth, but Will raised a hand. “No. I-I don’t want to hear an answer. I already know what I am going to do. I’ve made my choice, and it will never be Hannibal Lecter.”
There was an exasperated sigh from the Alana look-a-like. It truly was not fair at how perfect this being got Alana’s movements and sounds down. Perfectly patient, but also disappointed. It was how Alana always seemed around Will. Especially lately. It was complicated, and he missed what they used to have.
Although, now she was the one being duped. She was laying in bed with him. Sometimes the closer you get, the more blind you become. Once you are too close, you become comfortable. You may adjust yourself, but you are comfortable.
One may feel that since they are close, they will be able to see every little tic. All hidden agendas. But what people do not realize is that they are within reach of the predator. You cannot make a foul proof escape when they already have a hand on your neck.
People argue that this will happen with Will, that he has gotten too close. But, this is where he and others are different. Hannibal sees him as an equal. Both predators stand together within a room. Even if Hannibal did try to reach for his neck, Will didn’t mind going down with him.
Sometimes, Will wondered how Hannibal would kill him. Only Hannibal would give his death justice. Make him beautiful and memorable. Not just because he is the FBI’s bloodhound, but because he is simply Will Graham.
Will felt his chin tilted upward, coming back to what was happening in front of him. “Where did you go, Will?” Alana asked, frowning with concern.
Wetting his lips, Will simply answered, “To Hannibal.”
She dropped her hand from his chin, looking away for the first time. Alana’s shoulders were slightly hunched, making Will feel a little bad for making her even more disappointed in him. But, it was the truth.
The world around him suddenly began to shift. His room became his classroom and he was no longer in bed. He was standing in front of his class. It felt rather awkward, because he was still in his t-shirt and boxers. Almost humiliating.
Another thing he noticed was that he could see himself. His past self, more like. He was teaching the class, and it was just wrapping up.
“You could have let me put on some pants.” Will dryly commented.
Alana was in front of his desk, giving him a look. “Maybe you should wear pants to bed.” She countered.
Will scowled, deciding this was a battle he didn’t care about. Will focused on the room, immediately recognizing what day it is. “This is the day Jack came to meet me.”
Alana nodded solemnly, doing yet another sigh. “It is. This is what truly began everything. It is not a revolutionary start, but it is an important one.”
After that, the Alana look-a-like dragged him to several more memories of the past. Each reflective on how he slowly became the man he is now. As the more memories passed, Alana got more and more quiet.
The last memory was Will being incarcerated.
“This was the nail in the coffin.” She murmured, staring at past Will in his cell. They had just watched him have a crying fit before he rubbed his face, showing it was all an act.
“Hannibal loves theatrics. Decided to give him one.” Will said, his mouth twitching into a small smirk.
Alana looked at him, her face pale and stormy. It was getting harder and harder to differentiate between them and the real Alana. “This is manipulation, Will. You are playing anyone and everyone for your own gain. You are-”
“How else was I supposed to survive here, Alana?” Will snapped, raising his chin defiantly.
“No one would listen to me otherwise. I had nothing, so I created something. I was bored and I got to see how far I could take things.”
Didn’t Will already have this talk already with the real Alana? Why did he need to have this again? Will was over feeling guilty for his actions. He barely made it out with his sanity intact. For all of his life, he had to be something else. Somebody else that catered to what everyone else wanted and/or needed.
But now because he decided to do something for himself, it was a bad thing? Is that where people truly drew the line? Be manipulative and tell them things about others to get a leg up in their job, but when he does it? It’s immoral? No. Will Graham has no more guilt for what he had done.
“Will.” Will jumped at the voice in front of him, looking up to see Jack Crawford in front of him. “Let us start.”
What just happened? Where did Alana go?
“What-” Will started, but Jack raised a hand to silence him.
“I don’t have all day, Will. Let’s get on with it.” The man said, sounding annoyed already. Although, when did the man not sound annoyed or even stressed?
Jack began to walk from the memory, not looking back to see if Will was following. Will had no idea what to do, so he rushed after him. “But where is Alana?” Will demanded.
The man turned his head, already looking done with the conversation. “She is gone. Alana did her job, and now it’s my turn. We are going to go through your present.”
Will paused for a moment, taking it all in. The past? His present? This is just like the story A Christmas Carol. Oh, Hannibal would get a kick out of this. Not that Will would ever tell the bastard. He was having enough trouble with these guys dissecting his very life, and making him watch it all to boot.
“You’re not really Jack then.” Will stated, continuing on walking so he was in step with this look-a-like.
Jack let out a noise to show he had heard Will, “I took on his image. Thought this would make the most sense to you, given the situation.”
The scenery around them began to change. Often in between scenes, it was like the world was white. It made him uncomfortable, like he was back in a hospital or the facility. This was most likely done on purpose to make him on edge. To have him in a constant state of anxiety. People were often more malleable that way. To latch onto any sort of comfort, such as a memory or specific sceneries.
These beings obviously didn’t know Will Graham. He could see right through it. The longer that this went on, the more calm he got. He rolled with the punches, just following the person in front of him and taking in what he had possibly missed within the memories that were given to him.
Jack brought him to where he was, asleep in his bed. It seemed like his soul was outside of his body then. Jack then directed Will to where Hannibal was, who was surprisingly still awake.
Hannibal was in the kitchen, preparing something for their dinner tomorrow. The big day. Jack stared him down as he watched Hannibal gracefully move about the kitchen. This was the man’s safe space. His oasis. The mask Hannibal wore has fallen, showcasing his true identity underneath.
As he and Jack had entered the room, Hannibal paused his movements. Will watched with rapt attention as Hannibal’s nostrils flared, taking in any indication of another scent in the room. within the house. It seemed that Hannibal was left satisfied, going back to work on preparing the food.
“Do you see what he is cooking, Will?” Not Jack asked, although Will knew it wasn’t actually a question. He knew the answer. The look-a-like just wanted Will to say it.
“Yes.” Will said shortly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Just because he looked like Jack, didn’t mean he was. Will was slowly beginning to care less and less on angering Jack.
He continued to watch Hannibal in the kitchen, purposefully ignoring Jack. Will liked to watch Hannibal cook. To see how the muscles flex and move underneath his button down. Take in how he softly hums a tune he most likely heard from the opera. Will found himself liking it.
“Enough,” Jack barked, getting in front of Will’s line of sight. “You cannot hide form the present. This is happening right now, Will. In real time. He is cooking a human being, and feeding them to people without their consent. You are working to turn him in. You need to finish it.”
Will glared at the being in front of him, “I know that, Jack. I don’t need to be reminded. The plan is in motion.”
The look-a-like snorted, unconvinced. “Damn right it is. But is it the plan you and Jack made?”
Will felt a rush of anger rise in his chest. Is he seriously doing this? Right now? “It is. But obviously this entire thing is being orchestrated because you all think I am not. That I have a hidden agenda.”
He began to pace, not caring as obviously no one would see him. Will put a hand through his hair, trying to control his temper. He stopped and looked at the look-a-like in the eyes, something he loathed doing. But he wanted to get his point across. He wasn’t afraid, and he was no longer afraid to see.
“I do not have a hidden agenda, Jack. I want to destroy Hannibal Lecter. Repay him for how he treated me. I know what comes next. We are going to keep going through what is happening right now so you can keep guilting me. That is not going to work.”
Will raised his chin, forcing himself not to shake and shudder in his anger, “I know what comes next. My future, and I am done playing this game. I do not care about my future. What I care about is Hannibal getting what is coming to him.”
The look-a-like sighed, slowly shaking his head side to side. “You still don’t get it, do you?”
The blood within Will’s body was pumping loudly through his body. He could feel his heart beating through his ears, the vein in his forehead began to throb.
“What am I not getting, Jack? I see everything perfectly clear. It is you and Alana who don’t get it. You never do. All you want is your own selfish needs and desires. I can’t have any of my own, unless they benefit you. I have finally taken control over my own life. For the first time, I know what I truly want.”
Jack crossed his arms over his chest, looking at will with dark amusement. Humoring him. “And what is it that you truly want, Will?”
Will opened his mouth, but he suddenly couldn’t speak. The words were stuck in his throat, almost like a lodge. His hand rose to gently touch his throat, not seeing the world around him go back to white. Why couldn’t he say it? He wanted Hannibal Lecter behind bars. That was what he wanted, more than anything. He was stuck in his thoughts. No where else to go.
He was alone.
When Will realized this, he began to frantically look at the area around him. Was that it? Where was the future look-a-like? Did he even get one? After all of the arguing, did another one even want to come?
Will looked at the floor, letting out a soft chuckle. “I guess I have to wait until I wake up in the morning…” He murmured to himself.
“Do you have an alarm set, Will?” A voice asked him.
The hair’s behind Will’s neck rose, making him spin around. Hannibal. It was Hannibal.
“Are you kidding me?” Will blurted, upset, elated, and confused all at once.
The Hannibal look-a-like tilted his head to the side, silently asking him to continue his train of thought. It annoyed Will immediately. He was wearing the same outfit from the kitchen. A pair of tan dress pants, his fancy dress shoes, and his white button down with the sleeves rolled to the elbows.
“You are not my future. You cannot be serious.” Will continued on, beginning to pace all over again. “This is idiotic. I just want to wake up and forget this dream even existed. What could you even show me?”
Will then noticed something odd. Hannibal has not spoken. Not even once. Nor had he made any sounds to indicate that he was listening. He just kept… looking at him. Making gestures.
“You like the sound of your own voice,” Will commented, frowning. “Why aren’t you talking? I had just heard you.”
The look on Hannibal’s face looked delighted. He was happy? About what? Will then froze, the story coming back to him. The future doesn’t talk. They are not allowed to give anything away. But Will swore he heard Hannibal. Was it… was it because he can already have conversations with Hannibal inside his head? Even if the man wasn’t in the same room as him?
“Yes, dear Will.” Hannibal’s voice washed over him like a balm, but he knew it was within his own head. He understood now.
Rubbing a hand over his head, Will forced himself to face the Hannibal look-a-like. “So, you’re happy that I can still understand you.”
Hannibal gave a singular nod, his eyes glittering with approval. God, Will hated this. He hated how he could easily read Hannibal now. The man was so controlled, yes. But the more Will got to know him, it was becoming easier and easier. It was annoying.
Will continued to pace, “I don't even want to know what this means. The implications or whatever. I really don’t have time for this.”
The Hannibal look-a-like pursed his lips, now seeming unhappy with Will expressing that. There was a silent question, “What is wrong with these implications, Will?”
“Because this means there is something that I do not want to name, Hannibal.” Will pushed out, loathing how heavy those words felt.
At least this wasn’t really Hannibal. He didn't know what he would do if Hannibal were to witness this. Although, this Hannibal’s curiosity was sparked.
He took a step forward, his features softening. Will could easily hear it. “Is there something, Will?”
Will’s voice stuttered, forcing himself to look away from the man. This was just a Hannibal look-a-like. This wasn’t even real. He didn’t need to give this Hannibal anything. Nor the real one. He had an objective, and he was going to fulfill it.
“It doesn’t matter.” Will stopped pacing, focusing on the floor beneath him. It was also a stark white. This was all he needed to focus on. Not the man in front of him.
A hand cupped the back of his head, making Will jerk his face up to meet Hannibal’s eyes. The look-a-like’s hands were so gentle. His eyes… adoring. All of this was wrong. This was not how it is supposed to be. Will felt a pull, wanting to get closer while also putting as much distance between them as possible.
Hannibal mouthed his name, his other hand stroking Will’s cheek. Without his consent, Will’s body leaned into his touch. He was so warm. Will never wanted to leave. Even after everything, he felt safe in Hannibal’s arms.
Eyes fluttering shut, Will fully let himself become immersed in Hannibal’s embrace. “It doesn’t matter.” Will murmured against his chest.
Will swore Hannibal pressed a kiss against his forehead.
When Will opened his eyes, he was back in his room. It was morning. He had woken up 2 hours before his alarm, which isn’t much of a surprise. Will gave himself a few moments to process what had just happened. What today was. What he was setting up with Jack and Freddie. It all didn’t matter. He… he wanted.
Throwing his sheet off of him, Will got ready for the day.
A few hours later, he had parked in front of Hannibal’s house. He stormed up to the door and obnoxiously rang the doorbell. Not once. But twice. Will knew he could get away with that anyway.
It took a few moments, but Hannibal opened the door. He still looked presentable, even in his pajamas. God, he was annoying.
“Will?” Hannibal greeted, his voice still a little thick with sleep.
He took in how rushed Will looked, his eyes now becoming more clear. “Did something happen?”
Will scoffed, brushing past Hannibal to get into the house. He didn’t answer him until Hannibal closed the door.
Hannibal looked on edge. Ready for anything to happen. “Will?” Hannibal asked again.
Will got into Hannibal’s space and whispered, “It doesn’t even matter.”
Throwing his arms around Hannibal’s neck, he pulled the man into a fierce kiss. It took a few moments for Hannibal to respond, his body going slack in shock at this turn of events. Once Hannibal got over his shock, he returned Will’s energy. His fingers going through his curls to pull him impossibly closer.
Pulling away first, Hannibal was smiling. “What made you come by this morning and do this? Could it not wait until tonight?”
Will immediately shook his head, smiling back at him. “No, it couldn’t. Let’s run away together. Now.”
It was becoming one of Will’s favorite things to do. Make Hannibal completely speechless.
“Now?” Hannibal said slowly.
Will nodded, pulling away and beginning to pace. “Yep. I’m already packed and fed the dogs. Left a note for Alana. I don’t care where we go. I just want you.”
Hannibal focused on Will’s face, looking at him like he was a mirage. He stood in front of Will, putting his hands on the man’s waist to stop him from moving. “You want me?”
Will heavily rolled his eyes, “Surprisingly, yes.”
Hannibal pressed closer,, brushing his finger tips against Will’s jawline. Will gave the man a sharp grin. His blue eyes glittering dangerously.
“What are you going to do about it, Doctor?” Will teased.
The man answered that by pulling Will into another kiss.