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Before all else, Karen has always tried to be the perfect mother. Picking up her kids from their first day of school, baking cookies at playdates, showering them with lovely Christmas presents, and so forth. She has always been the talk of the neighbourhood, the subject of the wallflower’s praise and the crone’s gossip. Oh, look at Karen Wheeler with her expensive home and lovely demeanor. She’s so devout, and her kids are all beautiful . An odd feeling digs at her, telling her that their words are meaningless, but she bats it away. What could matter more than the approval of her friends and loved ones? Karen Wheeler is a perfect wife and a perfect mother.
Nancy is her eldest daughter, and what a perfect one! She’s beautiful and fierce, with a fiery independence nestled beneath her innocent doe face. Of course, she had her rebellious phase, but Karen knew the entire time that it was merely a phase. Every girl finds a bad boy - Karen certainly did - but it passes. And now, Nancy is back on track, with a perfect GPA and at least ten offers for prom dates. It takes Karen back to her days as a star cheerleader, with nights spent scandalously courting jocks and earning the envy of her girlfriends.
Holly is her youngest, and Karen is convinced she is a gift from heaven. What a docile, well-behaved girl. Unlike Nancy, Holly lacks a characteristic wildness. Instead, she gives angelic smiles to guests at dinner parties and earns Karen plenty of compliments. What a beautiful child! She’ll grow into an amazing wife, I’m sure. And those words always remind Karen that yes, she is an incredible mother.
Mike is her middle child, and he’s… not what she expected. When she first held Mike in her arms on a cold winter day in Hawkins General Hospital, something odd nipped at her. Call it a mother’s instinct, if you will. Mike isn’t the paragon of manhood she thought he would be. Where boys play sports, he writes. Where boys should be stoic and rigid, Mike is emotional. Where boys should be muscular and domineering, Mike is skinny and oddly-shaped. Where boys should be courting girls, Mike spends his time with that damn Byers kid.
There must have been some blemish in her parenting, a hole or kink somewhere she hadn’t noticed. Truthfully, Karen has been a bit neglectful of Mike. It’s much easier to connect with her girls and discuss woman things, slowly grooming them into perfect wives. Ted is there for Mike, so he’ll surely become a perfect husband. Karen loves her son, truly, but there’s just not enough time in her day. She can’t abandon young Holly, and Nancy is low maintenance, so if she has to miss a science fair or reschedule a playdate, it’s for Mike.
But even then, something has gone terribly wrong. Without realizing it, Mike has slipped into a dark and horrifying pit, one that Karen is all too familiar with. This happens to boys sometimes; it’s been that way since Biblical times. Thankfully, it can be cured, and Karen loves her son too much not to help him. Unfortunately, the temptations are strong, so there’s a long road ahead. Karen constantly asks herself where she went wrong, and the answer is clear - it’s that damn Byers kid .
===
1976
It’s a blessed time in any child’s life, the first day of kindergarten! Karen nostalgically thinks back to Nancy’s first day, since her own is too far removed, lost to the confusion and grimness of her adolescence. Nancy - the model of perfection - had no difficulties, so hopefully Mike too would come home that day eagerly babbling about his new friends.
But there’s a difference. Even as a toddler, Nancy was a queen amongst the neighborhood girls. The girls would look at her like she was a shining diamond (she was) and they were filthy coal (they were), and Karen would beam in pride at her daughter’s beauty and supremacy. But Mike? He never made any friends amongst the boys, and more than once he came home in muddy clothes and with a soggy heart. No matter how hard Karen forced him, the boy just could not make friends.
It’s with that hesitance that Karen lets a blubbering Mike go, releasing him into the dangerous world of bullies at swingsets and overpaid prison guard teachers. Mike is a fearful mess, begging please don’t go mommy , but Karen has already walked away, perhaps faster than she needs to. She goes home, pours a quarter glass of wine, and thinks.
Later that day, Karen arrives to pick up her son fifteen minutes early. She can’t help herself; maybe he needs her, and Karen is a perfect mother, after all, always there for her children. She steadies herself with her needlework as the minutes tick by, bracing herself for her son’s whining and the incoming I never wanna go back mommy . But what she sees is not that.
Mike is running towards her, his hand clasped in another boy’s. The boy is, frankly, adorable, with soft green eyes, an awkward bowl cut, and a baby’s face. The boy’s eyes are focused on Mike, and Karen wonders briefly if she has a mole or forgot to apply makeup in her rush.
“Mommy, this is Will! He’s my new friend,” Mike says, beaming. Karen reflexively smiles, a bit perplexed that Mike is using the same grin as when she makes his favourite desserts.
“Hi, Will,” Karen chirps, putting on her supportive mom look.
The boy nods and mutters a brief hello , and if he didn’t look so terrified she would think he was blowing her off to be rude. Mike doesn’t seem to mind at all. If anything, he likes it. What a strange child.
“Can Will come over to play? I wanna show him my new action figures.”
Karen ignores that she has never seen Mike play with those action figures. “Sure, but let’s find Will’s mom first and ask her if that’s ok.”
So she steps out of the car, and they begin searching for Will’s mom. In the meantime, Karen asks how their day went, and Mike begins giving a detailed play-by-play, only stopping when Karen chides him for calling his teacher Donkey Face. Will keeps silently looking at Mike and occasionally giggles when the boy does a funny impression.
Fifteen minutes pass, and most kids have gone home. Will has a sad look on his face, probably thinking his mother abandoned him. And she must have, given that it’s been fifteen minutes! Karen is about to offer to drop Will off when a battered car speeds into the driveway, nearly crashing into a nearby pole.
The driver emerges from the car in a rush, yelling, “Will, honey, I am so sorry. Work just kept me late and… Karen?! ”.
Oh dear sweet God, it’s Joyce Byers. It’s been years since they met, with Joyce living in what Karen affectionately calls the White Ghetto of Hawkins. Karen is half surprised that a woman as untamed and wild as Joyce found a husband of all things, but he clearly isn’t a quality one judging from her disheveled blouse and dirty overalls. But those eyes are still fierce and daring, with an animalistic passion that Karen will never quite understand or appreciate.
“Joyce! Hello, it’s been too long,” Karen says. She decides to keep it short. “Your son Will wanted to come to our house for a playdate with Michael here. Would that be alright with you? I can drop him off if you’d like.”
Joyce looks like she’s about to refuse, but then she makes eye contact with her son and seems to change her mind. “Sure thing. If you could drop him off, that’d be great. If it’s not too much trouble, could you drop him after dinner? I have another shift to run.” Karen nods.
Will walks over to his mom, who gives him a tight squeeze and pat on the head. After another apology from Joyce, Karen and the boys head to the Wheeler’s car. The ride home is quiet, and Karen notices Will jittering slightly in the backseat while Mike quietly stares out the window. She asks if they want to hear the radio, but receives a silent “no thank you.” Well, at least she tried.
Once home, the boys head to the basement, and Karen sets to work making some snacks and dinner, now that there’s an extra mouth to feed. Karen doesn’t really mind; she’s just happy that her son finally made a friend, even if it’s with a strange, silent boy. Now if only Will would look at her like she wasn’t straight out of Bigfoot , that would be fantastic.
Occasionally, she hears loud laughs from the basement, and to her surprise it’s actually Will who is laughing, or so she suspects. On one occasion, Ted walks into the kitchen to ask her what all the noise is, and she heartily replies that Mike is having a playdate. Ted just makes an unamused face and walks back to his La-Z-Boy, burying his face in the paper.
Eventually, dinner time rolls around, and Will sits next to Mike at the table. Thankfully, they have plenty of space, and Will pokes around as if unaccustomed to the leg room. Mike whispers something super secret to Will, and he giggles and whispers something back.
“Boys, no whispering at the dinner table,” Ted commands, and Will hastily apologizes as if the world is about to end. Ted ignores him and looks at Mike, who just shrugs and digs into his meatloaf. For the rest of dinner, Will looks strangely uncomfortable, and gives very brief answers when Ted grills him about his family. Her husband isn’t very good at small talk, she notes.
After dinner, Karen tells Will to grab his things so they can head home. Will clumsily grabs a small backpack with the X-Men on it, and says a quiet goodbye to Mike. Her son immediately asks if Will can come again later, and Karen laughs and says sure, why not .
Mike then remembers something: “Oh Will, you forgot the drawing you made!”
“You can keep it. I made it for you.”
Mike blushes at that - well, as much as a five-year old can blush. Her instincts tell her to leave quickly, so she rushes Will out the door and into their car. To Karen’s surprise, his hands move to the radio, and then quickly draw back once he realizes what he’s doing.
“It’s ok, Will. Go ahead,” she urges, voice pitched up an octave to sound sweet but instead sounding sarcastic.
“O-ok. Uh, sorry,” he says, before turning the knob to a station that makes Karen think, yeah, this is Byers music. It’s far too loud and obnoxious for Karen, who prefers the sweet ballads of the 60s, but she says nothing and focuses on the road.
About half-way through the ride, Will pipes up: “Um, thank you for inviting me over.” The words sound rehearsed, as though Will has been repeating them twenty times over.
“It’s not a problem. I hope Mike wasn’t too much trouble.”
“No, not at all. He’s really nice,” Will says, and Karen resists the urge to snort and mention the incident at the grocery store last week. Not that Will would confront Mike about it or anything, but the boy’s naivety is adorable.
“I hear you made him a drawing?”
“Yeah.” Now Will’s blushing, and Karen wonders if it’s something boys in this generation do a lot. Too many romantic movies watched with their mothers, probably.
“That’s nice. Mike loves art,” Karen says, not knowing if that’s true. But for some reason, despite Will’s parentage, she has a strange urge to make him happy. “Maybe you could make a drawing for me sometime.”
“Ok. My mommy asks me to make them for her all the time. Thank you, Mrs. Wheeler.” Will is looking at her now - mission accomplished - and grinning.
“Just Karen is fine, dear.”
===
Karen quickly realizes that the visit was not a one time thing. Slowly, Will comes over more and more often, to the point where Karen occasionally pre-emptively cooks more than she needs to. It’s not like she’s doing Joyce a favour, or anything - she’s taken a strange liking to the kid, and anything that makes her son happy is fine by her.
Mike also starts visiting Will’s place, and that is a bit more concerning. The first time he asks, Karen flat-out rejects him, with the excuse that the Byers live in a dangerous part of town. But Michael is nothing but persistent, and after days of repeated badgering Karen relents, on the condition that he be back before dinner… who knows what Joyce would feed them.
Will’s vocabulary towards her slowly starts to develop into full sentences, and Karen considers that a win. He’s still got a ways to go about eye contact, but he no longer looks at her in terror. At least he doesn’t get into trouble, which has apparently become a new hobby of Mike’s at school, according to “Donkey Face.”
She also loves his drawings. Will is only five years old, but somehow his drawings are even better than Nancy’s. She’ll never tell Joyce, but her son is genuinely talented at art. He knows his technique well, producing sketches with beautiful colour contrast and sharp shapes. As promised, he made her a drawing of a rose garden on his second visit, which Karen secretly hangs behind her bed, telling Ted that Holly made it. Will also draws a lot for Mike, and soon their basement becomes an art gallery. Karen eventually buys a binder for Mike to keep Will’s drawings in, because the boy refuses to throw any of them away. The look of sheer rage he gives her when she suggests it is so off putting that Karen can’t forget the mental image for years.
Eventually, they start having sleepovers, and that’s when Karen first learns that Will is a rough sleeper. More than once she hears a scream from the basement when she’s getting water, and rushes down to see Mike comforting a scared Will. And every time, without fail, Mike brushes her away, attention focused on Will. Boys shouldn’t be this emotional , Karen thinks, but I’m proud of Michael for helping his friend . She can only wonder what Joyce is doing with her child for him to behave this… abnormally.
===
1979
It’s Will’s 8th birthday, or so she is told by Mike, who is bouncing around more than usual that morning. Karen is slightly hungover - her and Ted had a huge fight last night - so each high-pitch yelp causes her head to pound.
“Quiet down, Michael,” she groans, clutching her head. Mike glances at her for a second, probably out of concern, before merrily prancing to the door. Karen sighs, grabs her keys, herds Nancy out the door, and sets off for school, trying to ignore her headache.
She sees the kids off, and is about to return home when she feels a tap on her shoulder, and comes face-to-face with a very tired Joyce Byers. And goodness, the woman looks uncharacteristically beat down. Karen notes the bags on her eyes and her drooping lips, and for a moment they share a bit of solidarity.
“Joyce, hello. Is there something you needed?”
“Sorry to throw this on you Karen, but could you take Will for the night?”
That’s an odd one. Isn’t today his birthday ? Birthdays are a rather sacred tradition for the Wheeler household. Birthdays mean heaps of presents and affection, with cake and parties and festivities. Not sending your goddamn son over for a sleepover .
“Mike told me that today was Will’s birthday,” Karen says, the accusation slipping out despite her best attempts.
“Yes, I know,” Joyce says, then sighs. Her face looks so stunningly pale that Karen has to consciously try not to flinch.
“It’s just that yesterday, Lonnie got a bit angry at Will, and…”
“Will is scared?”
“Yeah. Lonnie is… well, he can be a bit rough with Will sometimes.”
Karen catches the implication, and tries to give Joyce a sympathetic look. For a second, she feels incredibly stupid. So that’s why Will is so quick to apologize to Ted when he speaks too loud or accidentally holds his fork with the wrong hand. Karen has only seen Will’s father once or twice, and each time she has been surprised by how different the two are. Where Will is docile, his father is imposing. Will is soft-spoken, and his father is - to be blunt - a loudmouth.
“Alright, I’ll take Will then,” she says, and then surprisingly finds herself adding, “and you can come too once work is done.”
Joyce does not seem to expect this, and offers an uncomfortable protest: “I’d love to, Karen, but I don’t want to leave Jonathan alone.”
“Then he can come too. And Will is welcome to stay the night if he wants.”
“Karen, I -”
“A mother should never miss her child’s birthday,” she says, with no hint of doubt. “Think of how much Will needs his mother. Be there for your son, Joyce.”
Joyce gives a solemn nod. “Thank you. I’ll grab Jonathan once my night shift ends.” Then, as brisk as she arrived, she heads off to her car, and Karen is left wondering what she even said.
A few hours later, Will and Mike are heading home in Karen’s car (Nancy is staying late). She quietly observes them in the rear-view mirror; both boys chatter quietly in that secret language of whispers they’ve adopted. And then she looks a bit closer, and feels sick to her stomach when she sees Mike holding a bruise on Will’s wrist, rubbing soft circles around it. Will winces, but keeps a mostly even expression.
Against her instincts, Karen decides to ask: “Will honey, what happened to your wrist?”
“I just tripped in the bathroom. It’s not a big deal, Mrs. Wh - Karen.”
“Are you sure, Will?” Mike asks. “It looks pretty bad. We can patch it up when we get home. I’m a band-aid expert!” His voice elevates an octave on expert , and Karen is strangely reminded of those animal cartoons Mike used to watch.
“That sounds promising,” Will says.
Karen wonders if she is just imagining the thin layer of sarcasm or if Joyce is finally rubbing off on her son.
“I’ll have a look once we get home, boys. Until then, Will can pick a song on the radio.”
Karen has kept a few tapes in the back since that first day, and motions to Will to pick one. He picks a Beatles record, and Let it Be blasts through the car. Will hums along quietly, while Mike joins the singers in a… not incredible rendition of the song. Karen’s lips are sealed, though, and Will is rather amused.
They get home, and the boys eagerly stumble towards the basement while Karen packs her stuff and makes her way to the supply cabinet. She gathers some gauze and an ice pack, along with bandages and Q-tips just in case. She heads down to the basement, where the boys are seated on the couch, Mike still insisting on cradling his best friend’s arm.
“I’ve got it, Mom. I’m a big boy, just watch,” Mike boasts, and Karen reluctantly hands him the supplies. Mike puzzles over what to use, and Will looks slightly terrified at the thought of Mike not knowing what he’s doing. If Karen didn’t know the context, it would be rather funny.
“Let me start,” Karen says, shooting Mike the mom glare, and he backs off. She goes to the bruise and inspects it carefully. The lesions are a deep, dark red, but thankfully it doesn’t appear to swell. Karen is no doctor, but she knows that Lonnie was not screwing around when he did this. And speaking of…
“Will, honey, this is a serious cut. When did you get this?”
“Last night.”
“Alright. Now I’m going to have to ask you what actually happened. And don’t try to lie to me, dear; I’m not that stupid.”
Will’s eyes grow wide, as though he was caught committing a crime, and Karen feels horrible confronting him. But every mother has to ask horrible questions, and since Joyce isn’t here to do it, Karen doesn’t really have a choice.
“Mom, what do you mean-”
“Michael, please go upstairs for a moment. I’ll call you once I’m done.”
“No! I’m not leaving you alone with Will.”
“Don’t raise your voice. Go upstairs. Now .” Karen gives Mike a glare she usually reserves for Ted, and Mike takes a step back. Then, he gets that stubborn look in his eyes, and Karen senses a war incoming.
“It’s ok, Karen. I’ll tell him,” Will says, clearly upset by the yelling.
Mike takes a seat next to Will, and Karen resigns herself to having a not-so-gentle talk with him later about manners and discipline around guests. Then Mike gives Will’s arm a squeeze, and the colour slowly seeps back into Will’s face.
“My dad, he tried to hit me in the face, but I raised my arm in time. Th-that’s it.”
Karen knows he’s still lying, but she’s pushed the boy enough. Her son looks devastated , more than when he lost his favourite comic book and cried for a week until Karen bought him a new one. But Mike sheds no tears right now; instead, he just hugs Will tight, and it doesn’t look like he plans to let go.
“Thank you, Will,” she begins. “In that case, I’m going to put a bit of ice on. It’ll hurt a little bit, but if it’s too much, just tell me.”
She slowly presses the ice pack against his wound, loosely placing her fingers around the pack to not apply too much pressure. Will winces and yelps, and Mike steadies his grip on Will’s other arm, trying to reassure him. After a few moments, the boy relaxes, and Karen wipes the sweat that formed on her brow, leaning back.
“Michael, can you ensure that Will has this on for the next ten minutes? Do this every hour until Joyce gets here,” she says.
“Ok!”
“Wait, my mom’s coming?” Will asks.
“Yes, both she and Jonathan will be here for dinner. We don’t quite have a birthday cake, but we’ll make do.”
Will cracks a smile, and Karen is once again pleased with herself. Apparently I’m a better mom to Will than Joyce is, figure that.
Little did she know that eventually, the shoe would turn on the other foot.
===
1983
As suddenly as he came into their lives, Will goes missing, and the world becomes a whirlwind. She can only imagine Joyce’s distress. Perhaps Karen could bake something to appease her. But first, she has to tend to her own; Mike is a complete wreck , and Karen can barely keep herself in order.
What happened to the boy? Karen’s first thought is that he ran away, but his father and Joyce had divorced a year ago, so it seems unlikely. Besides, why would he not run to their house first? Will is there so much that he’s an honorary Wheeler at this point. Her second thought is that he was kidnapped. That seems logical enough, but that would also endanger any kid stupid enough to look for him… and of course Mike will do just that.
So, heart heavy with guilt, she imposes a curfew until Will is found. Mike gives her a glare so strong one would think she kidnapped Will, but she stands firm. Mike will wait patiently with the rest of them, she decides, and if Will is never found, he’ll have to live with it.
But then, Karen pauses, wondering if he truly could live with it. For seven years, those boys have been joint at the hip, never spending more than a week without each other. Hell, Mike hasn’t seen Will for one day and he’s losing it. Karen knows that his fixation is unhealthy, but who could blame him? A small part of Karen still remembers that five year old boy with no friends, so innocently happy as he held Will’s hand on that day in kindergarten.
Right. That’s something they do, Mike and Will. They hold each other’s hands like a married couple. It strikes Karen as odd for two boys to do that, but she has never been particularly close to any boys herself, so perhaps it’s not that weird. Still, Karen makes a note to keep a close eye on that; wouldn’t want Will to try anything funny with her son.
The next few days are hell on Earth. Nancy’s friend Barb also goes missing, so Karen finds herself comforting two cranky, despondent children. She goes and gives Joyce a casserole, but the woman seems to have gone off the deep end. Who hangs Christmas lights in November? And the entire time, Ted is as unhelpful as ever, spouting platitudes about how God will guide lost children to their true homes.
And then, the body is found.
Mike goes from a devastated mess to utterly inconsolable. Karen tries to tell him that the pain will pass, but that only makes him cry harder. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him that boys shouldn’t cry, that he should be strong for his friends and for Joyce. No, in that moment all Karen can do is hold her boy, who cries as though a part of him has vanished into the waters of the quarry. Was it suicide? The thought is unsettling, gnawing away at her heart, but resonating with a certain truth she is hard pressed to deny. Mike must feel like he failed Will. We all failed him.
Her son seems to have recovered slightly by the time they have the funeral. He’s quieter now, perhaps out of denial, but there are no more grand displays of grief. It’s the first step to recovery , Karen thinks. Perhaps now he’ll find a girlfriend. He spent too much time with Will anyway . Karen instantly realizes how horrible the thought is, but makes no effort to push it away. Yet, she grieves too; odd and unmanly as Will was, he had his inner strengths. When she realizes that she’ll never see receive another of those rose garden drawings she has grown to love, she sheds a genuine tear, too weary to be a perfect mom in that moment.
Days later, when Will Byers returns to the world, Karen’s confusion is drowned by her relief.
===
1985
Mike has a girlfriend now, a sprightly and beautiful girl named Jane. Karen is reminded of Will when the first sees the girl; she is quiet and reserved and seems to bear a mysterious chip on her shoulder. Of course he would fall for a girl who reminds him of Will, the two have always been inseparable . That said, she hasn’t seen Will around as much. Gone are the days he would visit everyday after school. Now, Karen sees him every other week at most. It’s natural that children grow apart, especially when girls come into the picture, but Karen is shocked that Mike and Will of all people would grow distant. Karen tries to imagine Will with a girlfriend, but for some reason cannot do it. I can only ever picture the boy with Mike. Wait… no, forget it.
So, she puts Will aside and focuses on her son’s new girlfriend. Despite Jane’s quietness, the girl shows no restraint in giving Mike a kiss on the lips when she thinks Karen isn’t watching. Karen tries to stifle a giggle when she sees her son’s eyes wide open mid-kiss. His mouth is even wider, as though he is trying to dodge the kiss. Karen resists the urge to sneak a picture for her scrapbooks, the ones that Mike and his future wife will inevitably dig through in twenty years. Oh, it’s so romantic! And yet, something seems off...
Sometimes, Karen curses her own perceptiveness. There is something about the relationship that seems… odd. For one, Mike never seems to initiate anything. Every time Jane sneaks a kiss, it’s just that: Jane making the first move. Mike kisses back, sure, and Karen feels strangely perverted for watching, but it’s not like those grand movie kisses. Certainly nothing like any kisses she had with men. Those were so authentic, so bona-fide, so perfect.
Slowly, Karen starts to doubt, more and more, and while she tries to label her thoughts as paranoia, they grow stronger and stronger. She casually suggests that Mike invite Jane over at random times: when he’s doing schoolwork, when he seems lonely, and especially when Will is around. She begins to watch closely, desperately praying that her lunatic suspicions are unfounded. Little moments she previously ignored morph into damning evidence, and Karen gets sick to her stomach. Will no longer sits next to Mike. Mike doesn’t bring home new drawings. And the two boys no longer hold hands.
Even still, Mike’s eyes always turn to Will first, and Jane second. The glances are subtle, but not unnoticed by a close enough observer. And those kisses… it’s not inexperience, Karen realizes. It’s discomfort. But who knows? Maybe Mike is a late bloomer. It could just be Will who is diseased, which Karen can easily deal with. Perhaps Mike needs more experience. Perhaps… no. Karen needs an answer. She loves her son too much to do otherwise.
After a few months of Mike and Jane’s dating, Karen casually decides to drop the question when Mike is at the dinner table doing math homework and she is reading a totally-not-erotic novel.
“Do you love her?”
“What?!”
“Jane, of course. I know you two have been spending every moment together. It’s like she’s your new Will.”
Mike shifts back in his seat, shrugging his shoulders, glance focused on some algebra problem. At the word Will he freezes for a moment, then side-eyes her.
“Why do you care? It’s none of your business anyway.”
“Watch your tone, mister. It’s always a mother’s business to keep an eye on her kids’ romances. And,” she decides to add, “you seem to need kissing advice.”
Mike furiously blushes at that one, but when he looks up again, anger flashes in his eyes.
“What the hell does that mean? Have you been watching me?!”
“ Language , young man.”
“I am not about to talk about kissing with my mother. Just leave me alone, would you?”
Karen sighs. She can never recall Nancy being this obstinate, but Nancy was never her son. She decides to change the topic.
“I haven’t seen Will around much. Have you two been in a fight?”
“No. He’s just busy. And since when did you like Will so much?”
“Michael, you are talking to your mother, so I suggest you behave yourself before I get angry. I’m just trying to help.”
“All you do is the exact opposite! Maybe I just want to hang out with Jane instead of Will now. Why is that such a problem for you?”
Ok, something clearly happened between them. Karen decides to leave it alone. But first, her secret weapon; she decides to break the news to him.
“The Byers are moving out of Hawkins, so I thought you would want to spend time with Will before he leaves.”
Mike jolts and stares right at her, clearly not believing what she said.
“It’s no joke, Michael,” she asserts. “Joyce told me the other day. But perhaps Will didn’t tell you because you’ve gotten into a fight. So tell me again: do you love Jane, or is she some distraction?”
Mike says nothing, and Karen has her answer. And she doesn’t like it, not one bit. It was far too convenient that Mike got a girlfriend as soon as he stopped talking to Will. Those glances, those stares, the uncomfortable kisses. Right under her nose, right within her household, Mike had spun a web of lies, entangling poor Jane in the middle. He had fallen into a dark pit as she watched, ignorant, seduced by the charms of Will’s effeminate innocence.
Finally, Mike answers: “Distraction from what?”
“Michael, this happens to kids sometimes. It’s ok. You can be fixed.”
“Mom, I’m not-”
“But you need to stop-”
“MOM! It’s not what you think, I swear.”
“Then look me in the eyes and tell me that you love Jane.”
Mike stares right at her, but she can see his expression waver. He looks down, and mutters, “I love Jane.”
“Was it Will who did this to you? Joyce be damned, I’ll make sure she never lets that filthy boy near you again.”
“Don’t you fucking dare call him filthy,” Mike growls. The venom in his voice is strong and laced with threats, and Karen’s hand begins to tremble. Even so, she raises it high, and brings it down in a thunderous slap.
“I’ll call him what he is. Will is a kind boy, Michael. He’s close to a girl. I can see why it’s him that you would-”
“-don’t say it-”
“Fall in love with.”
The room goes silent, save for the silent hiccuping from her now crying son. Karen’s first instinct is to comfort, but she holds back, fearing it would seem like acceptance of his sins. Mike swallows his tears quickly, and nervously squeaks out his next words.
“What will you do to me?”
“There are options. We could send you to a good, Christian school-”
“Bullshit!”
“-or we could keep this between us. If you agree to my terms, I won’t say a word to Ted. And you’d better agree, because Ted will kick you out without thinking twice.”
“D-dad wouldn’t…”
“Don’t think for a second that Ted loves you, or any of us. He wants a son. Not whatever you are.”
Mike is breathing so fast that he could choke, and Karen relents and places an arm around his back. Mike tries to shrug her off, but after a moment he collapses into the affection.
“You are my son, Michael, and I love you. And I want what’s best for you. So after the Byers leave, I expect you to become normal again. You’ll join a sports team, read the Bible and pray every day, and continue your relationship with Jane. And if you can do all of this, then you can see Will again. As friends .”
Mike nods quietly, and then has a weird look on his face, appearing to realize something.
“You don’t know.”
“I do know, which is why I’m doing all this in the first place.”
“No, you don’t know that Jane lives with Will. If he leaves, so does she.”
“Oh.”
Shit. When did that happen? Joyce never mentioned this to me. But I suppose it makes sense that she would adopt Chief Hopper’s daughter after his death. Damn Joyce, always messing with me!
“I suppose I’ll just have to break up with her then.”
“No, don’t do that.”
She couldn’t risk him starting a secret, homosexual relationship, if he didn’t already have one. And there was the risk he wouldn’t look for another girl, now that she knew. What now? Mike’s face has broken into a crooked smile, with all the bitterness of the world on display. She curses him as though she were looking into a mirror.
“You can see Jane when the Byers come to visit. But if I catch you and Will doing anything inappropriate, you’ll be answering to Ted, young man. Is that clear? ”
The name drop of Ted seems to have genuinely frightened him, judging from his heavy breaths. Or perhaps it’s yet another lie in his grand deception. Karen has given up on trying to tell. If she has ever been able to tell.
“Ok.”
===
1986
Karen knows that it’s not a matter of if , but when , and she gets her answer when she hears Ted screaming in the basement when the Byers visit for March Break. Ted screaming is never promising, but circumstances indicate that he has found something rather unsavoury. Karen braces herself and quickly runs down the stairs to assess the damage.
She finds Mike and Will cornered next to the “D&D Table”, holding onto each other for life, while Ted barks at them from just in front of her. Jane is nowhere to be found, and Karen grimaces at what inevitably happened.
“I will not allow my son to commit vile, homosexual acts in my house! You will be paying a dear price to God for this, Michael,” Ted roars. “And you ,” he points at Will, “are to leave this place immediately or I’m calling the police.”
Will has all the courage of an abandoned animal, and Karen just feels an empty pity. The sympathy she felt for Will through the years slips away as the image of a sweet boy is replaced with that of a filthy man who sullied her son. He’ll find no defender in her, though perhaps Joyce will be more sympathetic to his roguish actions.
Mike, however… she does feel some empathy. Perhaps it’s because he’s her son, her only son, but she knows that Ted will not be gentle with him. Ted has always been spineless and unfeeling, but he has his opinions on queers, especially with that AIDS endemic in full throttle.
“Leave Will alone, Dad! Do whatever the hell you want with me, but touch him and I swear you will not enjoy what comes next.”
“So my son is both a queer and a degenerate who acts out against his parents. I see how this is. Well Michael, if you love this freak so much, then you are free to leave with him. Stay, and you will have this,” he gestures to his surroundings, “but walk out that door and this boy is your only family. I do not tolerate queers, and I will not have one here. End of discussion.”
“M-mom…” Mike turns to her. “ Please .”
Karen is still. So it’s on her now. She could speak against Ted, but for what? To defend her son… her homosexual son? And that damn Byers kid… No, she can’t do that. And yet, Mike has always been her lovely son. Sure he can be problematic, but can Karen give up his beautiful smile and his compassion, just like that? She brought him into this world, so how could she be the one to kick him out?
But betraying Ted would mean compromising her principles, an act of defiance against God. They’ve never been a happy couple, but this might be the last straw for Ted. And God forbid if they… if they divorce over this, then what will Karen be but a fraud, a liar, a disgrace? Keeping a queer son means sacrificing her perfection, and so does divorce. Like every other decision she’s made, Karen feels like she has no choice. Fate strings her along, pulling her away from what she loves as the black claws of perfection grasp at her throat, choking every last breath of compassion out of her body.
“Michael, I’m sorry. But we had an agreement. And you broke it.”
“You bitch !”
“Get the hell out of this house, Michael, and never come back. You made that decision when you insulted your mother. I want you out in five minutes, or I call the police. And William, tell that disgusting family of yours to never set foot on Wheeler property again.”
Will remains silent, glaring intensely not at Ted, but at her. The look says everything, and Karen instantly regrets what she said. Without another word, he grabs Mike’s hand, earning another slur from Ted, and rushes up the stairs and out of their life. And Karen just collapses on a chair, not bothering to hide her tears anymore.
===
She makes no attempt to contact her son that day. Instead, she channels her energy into her motherly duties, preparing dinner and cleaning with an unnatural vigour. The fallout occurs when Nancy arrives home and notices that something is very wrong. Of course, that leads to another spat, and afterwards Karen just does not have the energy. That night, she dreams of a dark place, a personal hell, and the repressed memories of her adolescence haunt her at every turn.
When Karen wakes up and looks in the mirror to do her hair, she can only see her son’s twisted shadow in the glass, staring at her with divine judgement. She’s fucked . Not even fifteen minutes later, she has hastily made breakfast, put on the nearest makeup she can find, and gotten in her car, heading straight for the Byers’ motel room. Think, Karen. There must be some way to negotiate, some way to get your son back without ruining your family’s life. You’ve been through worse.
She arrives and bolts out the car, dress flapping immodestly in the wind, but she couldn’t care less. Her hair is a mess, and it would be a stretch to call her face passable, but it’s not like Joyce Byers would have a pillar to stand on either. She stands outside the rustic door, silently prays for the Grace of God, and knocks.
Moments pass, and nobody responds. Then, Will Byers is at the door, his hair more frizzled than usual, and he’s rubbing his eyes as if to confirm she is no phantom. Without hesitation, he slams the door shut, and Karen curses her luck. Of course he would hold a grudge. But she isn’t interested in talking to him. He can continue to seduce men for all she cares. So she knocks again, and again, and again.
Eventually, Joyce arrives at the door, and she is not amused.
“Where’s Michael? Is he here? I need to speak with him.”
“You’ll do no such thing, Karen. You made it clear yesterday that he is not your son, so leave. Now.”
“Joyce, listen. I was wrong in what I said yesterday. I shouldn’t have said that. Please let me talk to my son.”
“The most I’ll do is tell him you’re here, if he hasn’t already figured it out. Beyond that, he chooses what he wants.” Then, without missing a beat, she adds, “I’m disgusted by you. You put your reputation above your family. And you dare to call yourself a good mother.”
Joyce walks inside, and emerges moments later, alone. Karen isn’t surprised, but she’s not in the mood to give up yet. Mike didn’t inherit his stubbornness from Ted, after all.
“Mike doesn’t wish to speak to you,” Joyce says aridly. “Now leave, and don’t come back. I’ll take care of him for the time being.”
“Joyce, we both know you can’t afford that.”
It’s a low blow, but Karen needs options. And sure enough, Joyce sighs in agreement. Another mouth to feed just won’t work with the amount of bills she has to pay, especially now that there’s Jane to take care of.
“I’ll figure something out.”
“Joyce, help me. Please .”
To her surprise, Karen uses the same tone as Mike did - it’s high-pitched and whiny and desperate, and she realizes how pathetic he must have felt when he said it.
“Why the hell would I do that after you called my son a freak?”
“That was Ted, not me-”
“Bullshit, Karen, words have impacts. You refused to stop that feral animal you call a husband, and now you expect me and your son to just listen to you?”
“I’ll talk to Ted. Michael can get better, I know he can. He just needs a Christian school and a nice girl to care for him. I’ll even pay to help Will too…”
“Listen to yourself! Our sons are in love , and you think they’re sick? Take a look in the mirror before you hurl bigotry at my family.”
“Then what am I supposed to do? Just let them be stepped on by the rest of society? You want me to just sit and wait while my son catches AIDS and dies a gruesome death, because of some sick perversion?”
“There’s nothing perverted about love. All Mike and Will did was kiss . That’s it. And before you cry adultery, he broke up with Jane. Mike told me everything. Why are you completely incapable of understanding that he’s happy with Will? Don’t you want your son to be happy?”
“Of course I do, but he can be happy with a woman,” Karen says, knowing the lie as she spits it out. “Him and Jane-”
“Neither of them want that,” Joyce says.
She flares up, moving threateningly close to Karen. Then, eyes locked on her target, she begins her assault:
“There is nothing wrong with homosexual love, and if you continue to insist that it’s some disease that needs curing, be prepared to lose Mike forever, if you haven’t already. You have a choice, Karen. You can be a good mother and just accept him. Honestly, if you do that, he’ll probably run back to you in an instant. He wants his mother, not me.” Joyce adds the last remark bitterly.
“...Or you can insist that he needs to get better.”
“I got better.”
“No Karen, you ran away. You fled to a one-dimensional ideal of perfection and an unattractive husband with an attractive wallet. You aren’t perfect; you’re just a coward.”
Karen slowly feels her walls crumbling, and she knows she’s trembling, but whether it’s fear, denial, or confusion is unknown to her. All she can mutter is: “Y-you’re wrong.”
To her shock, Joyce’s expression softens, morphing into a weak smile. The age is apparent on her face, with all its wrinkles and bags, and even a cut or two. But that smile breaks Karen’s feeble heart, because in that moment, she can’t hide from the truth anymore. Joyce Byers is a better mother than I am to my own son. How pathetic.
“Karen, do you know what day it will be three weeks from now?”
Oh no. Joyce is not about to… “It’s Michael’s birthday.”
“And do you remember what you told me all those years ago? On Will’s 8th birthday?”
She does. She can never forget it. It’s burned into her memory, forever leaving it’s dirty imprints.
“You told me that a mother should never miss her child’s birthday. Do you want to miss every birthday Mike will have for the rest of his life?”
“Of course not!” She is indignant, but the point is steadily becoming clearer.
“Think of how much Mike needs his mother. A real mother, not some husky who sacrifices her compassion for neighbourhood gossip.” A pause, and then, “Be there for your son, Karen.”
And now she’s crying, but not the refined tears she has practiced for funerals. No, these are bitter, ugly tears like the ones she unwittingly shedded at Will’s funeral. When Karen next opens her eyes, Joyce is sitting on the curb beside her, offering a sympathetic look. Karen’s walls break, and the ugliness of her reality enters in full force, a merciless guilt spreading through her conscience.
Joyce gets up and leaves, and the next thing she knows, her son has plopped down besides her, looking coldly at her. She glances up and embraces him in a hug, and while he resists for a moment, he eventually gives in and wraps his arms around her. She thinks back to all the times she comforted Mike, and now she feels pathetic for being on the receiving end.
“Mom, I’m sorry I called you a bitch. I really am.”
“Michael-”
“But Will means the world to me. If you can’t accept that, or won’t accept that, there will be no us. And even if you do, I’m not going back to that house. Not with Dad there. He’s the real bitch, and I ain’t talking to him. Ever. Again.”
And now the choice is within Karen’s reach again. She just can’t accept that homosexuality is what Joyce says it is. It’s too ingrained in her that it’s a horrible, fetishistic corruption of love. But for once, she couldn’t care less. And maybe Joyce is right. Maybe all Karen needs to do is learn . It’s all she can do. What’s clear now is that she won’t do it without her dear Mike.
So Karen takes a deep breath, looks at Joyce with a smile, then turns to her son and says: “You don’t have to.”
“What?”
“If you come with me, we’ll head to the Town Hall and pick up the divorce papers. If Ted won’t have you, then I won’t have him.”
“Mom…”
“I mean it, Mikey. I’m sorry, I just can’t bring it in me to accept this lifestyle,” she says, earning a despondent frown.
“But you are my son. And my son is always welcome in my house, as is his…” she chokes out the next word, “ boyfriend .”
Mike is stunned, and so is Will, who has been quietly watching from the periphery. He slowly takes a step towards Karen, and whispers a sober thank you to her.
“You’ve made the right choice,” Joyce says. “We’ll help you however we can. Right, Will?”
“Yes! I’m still mad at you for what you did to Mike. But if Mike forgives you, I won’t hold any more grudges.” Will shrugs, but Karen sees the smile on his face.
Mike is choking up slightly. “Mom… I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Mikey. And I’ll learn. Joyce can help me learn. Will too, if he wants. Now, let’s pick up your stuff and go home. The next few days won’t be easy.”
===
Karen is right. The next few days are anything but easy. When confronted with the papers, Ted is a screaming mess, hurling slur after slur at both his son and his wife. But enough is enough for Karen, and she gives him the ultimatum to pack his things and move. Until then, he will not lay a finger on Mike. Karen does compromise to not invite Will over until Ted is gone, which Mike reluctantly complies with.
A week later, Ted has moved out, and the Byers have left Hawkins again. Mike is expectedly sad, but Karen tries to console him with the promise of visiting them later. They then sit down and talk to Nancy and Holly. Neither girl takes the sudden loss of their father particularly well, but they help transition the household to a new normal.
Ted and Karen are temporarily separated, and plan to legally file for divorce once they settle property and wealth disputes. The talk has already spread through the neighbourhood, and crones and wallflowers alike whisper behind her ear as usual, but this time she knows that it’s not vapid compliments. Divorce is serious and final. No going back from here. More than once, Karen doubts her choices. Perhaps she could go back to Ted and beg for him to take her back. But every time, she looks at Mike and remembers the pain she caused him, then promptly shuts up.
Things smoothen out after a while. With a hefty sum in child support, Karen is able to continue providing for the kids, albeit a bit more frugally than before. Mike looks happier than he ever has, especially when he looks at Will. And every time Karen sees it happen, she mentally smacks herself for never having noticed this entire time. Truthfully, Karen doubts the relationship will last, but as days stretch into weeks, and weeks into months, she finds herself mistaken. It’s not just puppy love. Mike is committed to his alternative lifestyle. And, she supposes, so is she.
===
1989
“Babe, hurry up! We’re gonna be late,” Will says, half-shouting up the stairs. He receives a muffled one second from Mike’s door and sighs.
Karen takes a moment to look at her son’s boyfriend. Will has certainly filled out over the years, now being much taller than his mother. Ditching the bowl-cut also helped remove that air of childish awkwardness; Will now bears a windswept style, coated with a light layer or gel, and Karen has to grudgingly admit that her son at least has taste in men. Will wears a simple two-piece tuxedo - no doubt the best one he could afford - and bears a yellow boutonniere on his breast. It’s certainly a nice colour.
The boys are headed to Mike’s senior prom as a secret couple. It’s an occasion Mike has prepared for the entire year, and more than once Karen has been fed up with his constant fussing over what suit Will would appreciate the most. Sometimes, that boy really tests the definition of supportive parent .
“Sorry Will, I was just-” Mike stops, speechless. “Oh wow, you uh… you look… well, you’re…”
“Yeah, yeah, my mom already gave me the spiele. Let’s go! Oh by the way, you don’t look half-bad yourself,” Will says, winking devilishly at Mike, which prompts another blush.
Karen just sighs at her son’s utter romantic incapability. It really wasn’t just a girl thing, she notes. The two have been dating for four years, and somehow Mike still trips over his words every time Will wears something other than jeans and a t-shirt. It is… surprisingly cute.
“Oh no boys, you aren’t going anywhere,” Karen says. “Not until I take pictures!”
Both of them groan, but wrap their arms around each other while Karen gets her camera ready. She’s no master photographer, but she gave Nancy a full photoshoot, so the least she can do is offer something to Mike.
“Ok, good. Now Mike, arms around his waist. Good. good. And Will, lean in a bit, just like that.” Karen snaps another photo.
“Can we go now?” Mike says.
“Not until I get a kissing photo for the scrapbook.”
“MOM!”
“Oh come on, Mikey,” Will teases, “you weren’t this shy yesterday night.”
He then leans in and gives Mike a sober peck on the cheek, likely to not gross Karen out too much. She knows they do far worse when Will comes for sleepovers, but she actively tries to not think about it. So far, it’s worked. Karen quickly snaps the photo. Mike will probably be laughing at this one in twenty years… with his husband, not his wife. At this rate, I should probably just say Will instead of husband...
“Alright boys, you’re free to go now. Stay safe,” she warns, but knows they will. Since the Ted incident, they’ve been extra cautious, even around her.
“Thank you, Karen!” Will says, and he grasps Mike’s hand in his own.
Mike gives a gentle wave to his mother, and she watches her boys walk out to Will’s car, happier than ever. And frankly, she couldn’t be any happier herself. Once again, she mentally sends a thank you to Joyce and heads into the living room. She looks at the space where Ted’s La-Z-Boy used to be, and sits on the chair that replaces it, getting to work at some old patchwork.
Yes, this is what true perfection looks like , Karen thinks, her mind finally at peace.