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Yeonjun never really believed in Christmas. Ever since 2nd grade, when his parents got into that big fight on Christmas Eve and his dad walked out, he kind of lost faith in the entire concept of Christmas miracles and whatnot. He spent almost every holiday season holed up in his room playing video games or crashing at his friends’ houses, just doing his best to avoid his family. Too many bad memories, he didn’t want to deal with it.
That’s why he was so overjoyed to find out he was accepted into a university all the way across the country. A blank canvas, a fresh start laid out right in front of him; it was too good an offer not to take. He had promised to be back home for summer and spring breaks, but his winters would be spent far away in this brand new place. It was fine by him; he had Kai and Taehyun with him, so he wouldn’t be completely alone...yeah it would be perfectly fine.
Until Beomgyu waltzed into his life and turned his entire world upside down. Literally.
Well, maybe not his entire world, but it was close enough. It happened during his first music theory class. Yeonjun was organizing his notetaking tools in preparation for the start of class when a blur of black and grey slammed into his desk, overturning it and effectively scattering all its contents onto the tiled floor. He yelped and jumped up, glaring daggers at the perpetrator, who was sprawled on the floor, rubbing his hip. The boy had dyed blonde hair and was wearing black ripped jeans and a graphic t-shirt with rips and chains all over it. Yeonjun resisted the urge to scoff at his appearance and instead crossed his arms and opened his mouth to admonish him when the boy spoke up first.
“Oops...that’s my bad.” He smirked. “Good luck cleaning that up, bro.”
Yeonjun stared, fuming silently (he wouldn’t be surprised if there was smoke coming out of his ears). He was about to chew the kid out because who the hell did he think he was when he noticed everyone’s eyes on them, wide and hungry for drama. Instead, he growled under his breath and bent to clean up the mess, vowing to get back at the boy, who’d gotten up and was skipping away to a desk at the back of the room without so much a glance back at Yeonjun. Turns out luck wasn’t on his side because the professor walked in right then and assigned a semester partner project before even taking attendance, and who else would he end up partnered with but that snarky trash bag of a boy?
“So…” the boy started, grinning. “I didn’t catch your name when we met earlier. I’m Beomgyu.”
He extended a hand, at which Yeonjun just glared, nonchalantly slipping it back into his pocket when it was rejected. Yeonjun groaned and put his head on his desk, already dreading the rest of the year.
The first few meetings were borderline unbearable. They exchanged phone numbers at the demand of the professor and Beomgyu decided to make it his life’s mission to annoy the life out of Yeonjun by spamming his phone with stupid memes and life updates every second of every day. Yeonjun was about to lose it and change majors just to get away from him. He was on his way down to the office to talk to the counselor about switching to poultry sciences or something when he caught a glimpse of Beomgyu rounding the corridor. Panicking, he whipped his head around searching for something to hide behind, but it was too late. Beomgyu spotted him and jogged over, a huge smile on his face. Yeonjun wanted to shrivel up and die, but he forced himself to stand up straight and face him head-on.
“Hey, bro! I’ve been looking for you everywhere, where’ve you been?”
Yeonjun grimaced. “I’ve been in the library for hours. Where exactly have you been looking?”
Beomgyu had the decency to look slightly sheepish. “Uhhh the cafeteria...and the gym...that’s kind of it. But anyway, we’ve barely gotten together to discuss the project and it’s kind of due next week. So...any ideas?”
Yeonjun was trying to come up with a semi-polite way (he might have hated this guy’s guts but he was raised to be a gentleman and he would act it, thank you very much) to tell him that he’d rather throw himself in front of a stampeding buffalo herd wearing a clown costume and a Santa hat than sit down and work together when Beomgyu seemingly had an idea, clapping his hands together decisively.
“Wait hold on bro, I’ve got it. Let’s work at my dorm. My roommate’s home for the holidays and we recently got our heater fixed so it’s not completely unbearable to be inside anymore.” He began pulling Yeonjun towards the front door. “Wow, I’m so smart. Okay, let’s go.”
Beomgyu was stronger than he looked and Yeonjun found himself being dragged through the courtyard. He could feel everyone’s eyes on them (again) and he began brainstorming ways to murder Beomgyu in his sleep without getting in too much trouble.
The dorm was actually very neat and tidy, contrary to Yeonjun’s expectations, and it had a very cozy vibe.
“Well...make yourself at home, I guess. I’m going to go get my laptop, I’ll be right back.” Beomgyu muttered before disappearing into what was presumably his bedroom.
Yeonjun glanced around and plopped down on the living room couch, taking his laptop out of his bag and reading over the instructions again. He was determined to leave as soon as the project was completed, not wanting to spend another moment with this kid. He was in the middle of typing up a description of their project when Beomgyu finally returned with two mugs of hot chocolate balanced precariously on top of his laptop. He offered one to Yeonjun, who begrudgingly accepted, and sat down on the floor next to the coffee table. He peeked up at Yeonjun, who was glaring fixedly at his screen and barely sparing him a glance, and dropped his gaze to his own work again. The atmosphere was awkward and stifling, and Beomgyu seemed unsure of himself for the first time since they met. Yeonjun groaned inwardly. Why, why did he have to make everything so difficult? All Yeonjun wanted to do was finish his work with minimal interaction so he could go home and Beomgyu just had to go and make things awkward.
Unable to bear it any longer, he cleared his throat and muttered “So, uh, why aren’t you going home for the holidays? Shouldn’t you, y’know, be spending this time with your family or whatever?”
Beomgyu smiled dryly. “Yeah...no I don’t do that. Holiday season isn’t really it for me.”
He tilted his head and peered at Yeonjun with an amused look in his eyes. “What about you? Why aren’t you going home?”
“Same reason as you, I guess.” He fidgetted with his fingers. “Bad memories.”
Beomgyu nodded in understanding and didn’t push it further than that, for which Yeonjun was grateful, and they fell into a comfortable silence. Something shifted in the air, a mutual understanding forming between two people with an equal disdain for Christmas and everything that came with it.
From that day on, they became close. Beomgyu fit easily into his friend group and the way he engaged with Kai and Taehyun, who made sure to tease Yeonjun relentlessly about Beomgyu’s addition to their trio, made it seem like he was always meant to be there. Yeonjun was glad they got over that awkward phase because he was really starting to enjoy Beomgyu’s company. He always knew how to make people smile regardless of their mood and Yeonjun found himself seeking him out more and more. Beomgyu’s presence became a constant in his life. They’d meet at the front gate every morning to walk to class together, eat lunch with Taehyun and Kai, study together in the library after hours, and walk back to their dorms together. Many afternoons were spent lounging around in either dorm, watching bad movies and messing around. Yeonjun discovered Beomgyu was super ticklish and made it his personal mission to take any opportunity to torment him, to Beomgyu’s immense distress.
The incident on the first day of school went unmentioned, Yeonjun having long forgiven him for his irritating behavior.
Gradually, Yeonjun found himself yearning for more than just movie hangouts and lunches together. His fingers itched for Beomgyu’s, wanting to feel their hands slot together. He had to fight the temptation to wrap his arms protectively around Beomgyu and hold him close during a scary movie scene, or to reach over and catch the tears falling from his eyes during a sad film. His eyes lingered on Beomgyu’s lips (they looked so soft) when he talked and he found himself wondering what it’d be like to feel them against his own. There was a need to be close, to protect Beomgyu, that he’d never felt with any of his friends before. Yeonjun was confused, to sum things up.
Frustrated, he went to Kai for advice, who simply burst out laughing and, clutching his stomach, snorted “Just so you know, I’ve never wanted to kiss my guy friend ‘but like, just as bros’. Do with that what you will.”
The realization that most people didn’t feel the desire to kiss the face off their best friend hit Yeonjun like a slap in the face. Needless to say, that sent him into a spiral of “Does this mean I love Beomgyu? Oh my gosh I love Beomgyu. I’m in love with Beomgyu. FUCK.” And it wasn’t like he could avoid Beomgyu until the feelings went away because that kid was the most clingy person he’d ever met and rarely even let Yeonjun out of his sight long enough for him to make an escape. In conclusion, he was screwed.
Or so he thought.
They were squeezed together on Yeonjun’s couch for their weekly movie night, watching Beomgyu click mindlessly through the movie catalog. He was barely looking at the titles, pressing the “next” button so furiously it was probably in danger of falling off, and Yeonjun was about to lose his mind. It normally never took this long because they’d just pick a trashy movie and talk over it the entire time, but Beomgyu had decided that it was about time they watched an actual, decent film for movie night. What his definition of a decent film was, Yeonjun wasn’t sure because he’d already cleared half the catalog without so much a second glance at a single movie.
“You know what, just give me that. You’re taking way too long and I’m going to fall asleep if we don’t pick one right now.” he said, leaning over to grab for the remote.
“No, just be patient! I’ll find a good movie just wait,” Beomgyu retorted, stretching his arm so the remote was out of reach.
“You’ve been looking for almost half an hour, Beomgyu! Just pick one so we can move on with our lives, my GOD.”
Beomgyu merely ignored him and Yeonjun yelled in frustration. He jumped on top of Beomgyu, who let out a high pitched shriek and fell off the couch, and reached madly for the remote. Never one to give up, Beomgyu rolled over onto his stomach and tried to crawl away, only to be dragged back by the ankle and flipped back onto his back. Yeonjun began poking and prodding at his sides and his entire body was soon wracked with giggles.
“St-stop! Yeonjun wait!” Beomgyu gasped when he managed to catch his breath a bit.
“Give me the remote!”
“No!”
Yeonjun only grinned and intensified the attacks. The remote swung wildly through the air as Beomgyu tried to escape his hands, and Yeonjun took the opportunity to grab his arm and snatch the remote away. Only, he forgot to take into consideration the fact that his other arm was still occupied tickling Beomgyu, throwing his center of gravity way off. He managed to place one elbow on the ground so he wouldn’t completely smush Beomgyu before coming crashing down on top of him. Still wheezing, Beomgyu pushed weakly at his shoulders in an attempt to free himself, which, unfortunately for him, provoked Yeonjun to resume the tickles with a renewed energy, sending him into another fit of uncontrollable giggles. Suddenly, Beomgyu reached out and grabbed both his wrists, yanking him down so they were pressed flush against each other. Yeonjun yelped and blushed, tugging uselessly at his hands to try and sit back up. Beomgyu didn’t let go.
There was an unfamiliar look on his face. His eyes shone with something Yeonjun had never seen before, or maybe he’d just never paid enough attention to notice. He looked so pretty, the look in his eyes so gentle and warm it made something in Yeonjun ache at the sight. The sweet curve of his lips and faint blush dusting his cheeks were utterly mesmerizing and Yeonjun found himself wanting to stay like this forever, just drinking in the beauty that was Beomgyu.
“I like you.”
Beomgyu blinked and the trance was broken. Shocked and extremely horrified at his own outburst, Yeonjun tried to sit back up so he could focus on thinking up a convincing excuse (it was kind of hard to concentrate with Beomgyu so close to him). Beomgyu only tightened his hold on his wrists.
“What?” he whispered. “What did you just say?”
Yeonjun’s heart dropped. A feeling of dread spread through his body, numbing his fingers and toes. Of course he didn’t feel the same way, why would he? His mind was running a hundred miles an hour, trying to figure out a way to justify himself without sounding like a creep, when Beomgyu suddenly sat up. This was a HUGE problem because Yeonjun suddenly found himself sitting in Beomgyu’s lap, which was pretty much the last place he wanted to be right now (number 1 on the list was probably somewhere in Antarctica, swimming with the penguins and trying to forget about his Big Stupid Mess Up that was his confession to Beomgyu).
“Yeonjun, hey.” Beomgyu lifted his hand to cup Yeonjun’s chin, tilting it up so their eyes could meet. “Did you mean that?”
Yeonjun realized that Beomgyu’s hands were shaking slightly and he lowered his eyes to watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down. The urge to lie and deny everything suddenly left his body and he nodded slightly, still not meeting Beomgyu’s eyes.
“Say it,” Beomgyu’s voice was trembling. “I want to hear you say it.”
A ray of hope shot through his body, but his mind was still whirring too fast trying to comprehend everything. Yeonjun jerked his head up in confusion, only to see the pure adoration mixed with a little bit of fear swimming in Beomgyu’s eyes. He faintly wondered if that’s how he looked when he looked at Beomgyu: loving, warm, and a little afraid. Afraid of everything he could lose, afraid of losing Beomgyu. How could he have been so blind?
Yeonjun cleared his throat, albeit a little nervously. “I like you, Beomgyu.”
Beomgyu let out a sigh, closing his eyes and leaning forward to touch his forehead against Yeonjun’s. Yeonjun found himself letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders along with his confession. Only, Beomgyu still hadn’t replied. The nerves made him tense up again, unsure of where he stood in Beomgyu’s life. He was tempted to ask Beomgyu to say something, unable to bear the suspense any longer.
“I like you too, Yeonjun. So much.”
Beomgyu’s voice was soft but his words sent Yeonjun’s heart soaring. A wide smile split across his face and he sighed contentedly, pulling Beomgyu closer into a hug. He felt lighter than he had in ages and a quiet laugh slipped through his lips. He drew back, holding Beomgyu at arms length to fully look at him. The blush was still evident on his cheeks and his hair was mussed up from all the tickling, and Yeonjun thought he was utterly gorgeous.
“So...go out with me?” He grinned when Beomgyu ducked his head in embarrassment and lightly hit him on the chest. He felt Beomgyu mutter something into his shoulder, but it was muffled by the fabric of his sweater and he asked him to repeat it again.
“I said, yes. I’ll go out with you.” Beomgyu muttered, covering his face with his hands. Yeonjun beamed. “Thank goodness you finally confessed, jeez. I was going insane, you know?”
Rolling his eyes, Yeonjun tugged Beomgyu’s hands away from his face and dropped a quick peck on his nose, laughing harder when he squeaked and flushed even redder.