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A tiring day sure was today. He let out an exhausted sigh. Shoulders lowered, defeated from all the sore on them. Tired of the words he heard, tired of the complain he received.
Dell took out the car key from his pocket and jacked it into the key's hole, starting the truck. His truck coughed out black smoke as its entire metallic body jerked a few times just as usual. Maybe its time of retirement might came soon. But bother not since he's an engineer, that means he could fix any problem. He can just hit a wrench and make the thing work again, can't he?
If only his messed up life could also be fixed with just few hit of a wrench too...
He hopped onto his truck and drove away, blasting the stereo on full volume to distract himself. The radio talked nonsense, so did his mind, all was nonsense.
'You're nothing but a bother to me. Get out of my face!'
Oh, how he regretted saying those mean words to his beloved.
He still remembered those dull and teary eyes hid behind the helmet as he left the door guilted him further.
Why did he say those words to Jane? His beloved soldier just wanted to cheer him up. His intention was from pure love.
So why did he shout back at him?
His eyebrows furrowed. The stress was getting the better of him. He lit up a roll of cigarette, eyes still on the road.
Puffing out white smoke, his head ain't getting lighter.
His 'employer' didn't seem to be pleased with his job performance lately. He knew he could never be like his father, he could never be great like him. No matter how hard he tried, his devices will never please her.
What did she expect of him?
"Whiny old hag..." he mumbled out of frustration. All he can do is to complain to himself. If only Jane was here to tell him that everything gonna be alright...
Right... Jane was always there for him, always keep his spirit up with his lovely smile, always happy to lend him his chest to cry on to. So why can't he do the same to him? Why can't he say anything nice back to him? Why was he... always let his anger get in the way of his only happiness?
A bad friend and a bad lover he was. That was the truth he must accept.
Dell found himself driving on the road he usually takes a detour after a long day of work. Although this road wasn't the way to his home, it was to the place he used to come by, with Jane.
He lowered down the volume then shut it as the truck parked right in front of the place. He took the car's key back into his pocket.
Dell entered the store. As he entered the door, the golden and familiar bell jingled merrily. He was greeted by mildly sweet aromatic flowery scents of many kinds.
Just like how it used to be.
"Long time no see, sir," the florist greeted him with a bouquet of peonies in her hands. Her cheerful smile matched the lively yellow of the flowers well.
He politely greeted the lady back, looking left and right around the shop in awe, as if lost in the wonderland. These colorful flowers drew him closer and closer to them. Such beautiful things.
Why was he here again?
"Are you looking for something for certain someone, sir?" she asked, bringing him back to the real world, "You always ordered for poppy, sir. Do you perhaps looking for one?"
"Nah," oh, right, he used to buy those red little flowers back from work, arranging it on the vase. It was his beloved's favorite. "I was thinking 'bout flowers that would..." he gulped, feeling pathetic to himself, "would say sorry in ma stead." He scratched the back of his head, bashful, "Ya got anythin' like that?"
The clerk gave him another smile, sheepishly, "Many flowers have meaning of apology, sir," she then placed those peonies down on their places and walked to the back of the store briefly before returning with a cart full of flower bouquets with her, "Which one do you like, sir?"
Dell hesitated to pick one. Red, blue, yellow, pink, all were a color of joy and nature. How could he pick one? Not that he think they worth nothing. He meant that they were all beautiful and lovely bunch of flowers, but will Jane accept them? Will he accept his apology in the form of flowery?
His worries were written all over his face. Too clear to not notice.
The clerk observed her customer well. She perked her head up and looked right through into his eyes. Her smile didn't drop for a second, "You know, sir," she said, "flowers are just a mean to convey the feeling but what's the most important thing is what you really have in your heart and want to say." She then picked one of the bouquet from the cart up and looked at him. Her smile was even brighter than before. "Word means more as long as you learn how to put your true feeling into it."
The truck stopped. He was back to where he left, his, no, their home. Hesitated at first to go out of the truck's seat, but he soon found courage in his legs once he felt the bouquet laid on his hands.
Dell stepped out from his truck, confidence played on his lips. Surely, he will say it even if Jane's love for him might falter, he will do it and explain everything to him.
How sorry he was for shouting at the soldier this morning...
How much he meant to him...
He entered the door, to his home. Even with putting up such courageous facade, anxious lingered in his heart still, but he didn't want to doubt himself nor Jane anymore.
"Jane?" he spoke quietly to the darkness of the living room. The light was off, but the kitchen was loud. He heard a clanking noise coming from there.
Dell approached the kitchen where he heard the voice. A smell of sweet bake hit him in the nose. How familiar.
"Engie, you're back!" Soldier, in his pink cooking apron, said with a smile, showing nearly all of his white teeth. Whipped cream and cookie crumbs smeared all over his face. His hands still stirring the silver bowl with a spoon. It seemed he was baking something... probably for him, again.
Dell chuckled at the sight.
What was he worry about again?
He walked to his beloved's side and smooched him on his warm cheek, now bright red and hot. The lovely roses of his face's color was tucked in his hands. A mean of apology.
Dell embraced him from the back, hugging him tight and whispered his 'sorry' into his ear. Sharing the warmth with his lover who was whipping the cream still, Dell could feel the heart of his lover beating loudly in his palm.
Jane's smile brimmed with happiness, although Dell couldn't see it, his pounding chest told him everything.
"Welcome home, cupcake."
Dell let out a soft sigh.
Oh, how he long to hear those words.