Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter 1

Every night has been peaceful, the moon and the star are shining bright. A beautiful night, yet I still feel anxious. It may not be always, but I could feel it.

Some night, it’s hard to close my eyes and get some sleep. It may be caused by my old habits, when hunting demon is necessary. But now, the demon is gone. It’s been peaceful since then, yet somehow… I cannot find peace.

Is it because the nightmares that resurface here and then?

And so… another sleepless night passes for me, Shinazugawa Sanemi.

Today is the picture day. I have been invited by the Ubuyashiki for a photoshoot with my former colleagues. It’s been months since the final battle.

“I wonder how the others are doing….”, as my mind wonders

I walk slowly, passing by the road with blooming cherry blossom. That’s right, this is the first spring where

As he arrived at the mansion, he sees familiar faces. But… my eyes quickly fix towards a woman in dark red kimono with some flower pattern. Her name is Tomioka Giyuu, she is my former pillar colleague. I just saw something really…. Peculiar. Can Tomioka actually laugh like that? Well… I have heard that he start to smile more from Kamado Tanjiro’s letter, but I did not imagine a laughter like that.

It’s not a bad thing though, I just not used to it. The expression that she used to have is as cold as ice.

As I stare, another former colleague calls my name.

“Shinazugawa, long time no see? It seems you are in good health.”

“Oi, Uzui, how have u been?”, I replied.

This former colleague of mine is also a former pillar, to be exact the former sound pillar. I heard he is doing well with his three wives. Rumor has it that one of his wives even got pregnant. That seems like a good news.

“So… what are you looking at?”, asked the former sound pillar.

“Nothing really… it just that, something unusual happens over there.” I points my finger to Tomioka who is currently talking to both Kamado Tanjiro and Kamado Nezuko.

“Oh, is that so? That is quite a flashy smile. Who would have thought that Tomioka can laugh like that.”

“Yeah… who would have thought…” I smiled

“Still, why did you pay attention so much to Tomioka? Don’t tell me, is it love?”, teased Uzui.

“…You must be out of your mind, Uzui.”

Uzui laughs and hits my back. What the hell is wrong with him? Honestly, I don’t get him sometimes.

“Shinazugawa, you should be more honest with your feelings, man.” Uzui smirks.

“Cut the crap, Uzui. It’s not funny”

“I’m not joking. It’s not the first time I caught you staring at Tomioka. Well, her face is quite beautiful. A lot of the corps member admire her beauty, you know.”

“Even if the face is pretty… her attitude used to be shitty.”

Yeah… I think her attitude used to be shitty… Thinking herself better than everyone… Well, until the final battle. I did notice she is a little bit different than I thought. How to explain it, maybe the way she waited for Kamado Tanjiro to wake up. The way she helped her fellow soldier in the Butterfly’s Mansion, even if her wound herself hadn’t healed. The way she cried in relief when I regained my consciousness. That’s right, she cried for me… and it’s…

Mesmerizing.

What. The. Hell. I must be crazy. How can I have said that it’s mesmerizing? Shit…

I am lost in my thought, until suddenly someone calls our name.

“Uzui-san, Shinzaugawa-san. Come here, it’s time to take the picture.”

After taking the picture, Uzui invites me to have a drink with him in his residence. In addition, Tomioka will also join us… This is gonna be a little bit uncomfortable for me…

We drink and drink and drink under the beautiful moon in Uzui’s mansion. We talk a lot, well to be more precise Uzui and I talk a lot. Tomioka just sit in silence with her poker face listening to us. This woman talked and laughed a lot when she was with the oldest Kamado, why can’t she do the same now? Maybe she is uncomfortable with us…

Then we drink again… when suddenly Tomioka speaks .

“I’m sorry for being weak...”

…and then she cries.

I panic

“Oi, Tomioka. Shit, what’s wrong?”

“I… I’m really sorry… For being useless… it’s because I am different… I’m so sorry.”

Tomioka keeps on sobbing. This is a first… and there it is again with being different for the the others. It doesn’t seem like what I thought it means.

“To...Tomioka… oi… stop crying.”

“Shinazugawa, that’s not how to treat a lady.”, said Uzui.

In the end we both try to calm Tomioka down. It seems like drinks too much and that’s the reason why she is crying now. After sometimes, Tomioka stops crying and falls asleep. We try to talk to her and ask her what she means. Then the shocking part happens. Tomioka seems to have low self-esteem, she feels that she is much more inferior than the other pillars and not even worthy to be one. I can’t believe what I heard, it’s quite the opposite of what I used to think about her.

“Well, Tonight was quite an eventful. Who would have known Tomioka could cry so flashily?”

“Yeah, we should not let her drink anymore.”

Uzui chuckles and continues, “So Shinazugawa, let’s end today’s banquet.”

“Sure, see you again sometimes then.”

“Oh, and Shinazugawa, escort Tomioka home alright.”

“What? NO!”, I speak in shock.

“C’mon, you can’t just leave a woman here.”

“You can lend her your guest room, Uzui.”

“Nope.”

I sighes, “I am not going to send her home. Just let her spend the night.”

“C’mon, be a gentleman and send the lady home, or should I call other man to send her home?”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Just let her stay the night.”

“Shinazugawa…” Uzui pats my back. “Take this little advice of mine. You don’t want to leave the woman you love in another man’s estate. Besides, look on the bright side. It may improve your relationship with Tomioka.”

I stop and freeze. Love? What is Uzui talking about. It can’t be, how can I love Tomioka? That is just absurb… but… perhaps it’s not completely wrong either… I might have kinda like Tomioka… a little… yet, I’m not sure… Shit. This is so confusing.

Uzui then laughs. “Shinazugawa, you don’t need to be that confuse. Just send her room, kay”

The conversation between Uzui and me continues. In the end, after much debates, I agree to send her home per Uzui suggest.

As I walk on my way home with Tomioka on my back, I realize something. I don’t have a clue about Tomioka’s resident whereabout. Well this is bad… I mean I know where she used to live, the water pillar’s mansion. But, I heard that she has moved out from the residence. I try to wake her up, to ask her address, but I fail nonetheless.

After much of internal struggle, I decide to take Tomioka to my abode and let her rest for the night in the guest room.

In the next morning, I wake up and remember what I just did yesterday. I brought Tomioka to my home. Well… I will have to explain it to her then when she wakes up.

I go to the kitchen and prepare some simple breakfast for both of us. Not long after that I hear some light foot step behind my back.

“Shi…shinazugawa…?”

Oh, it’s Tomioka

“…Morning, you must be confused. The food is almost ready, let’s talk over it at breakfast.”

I explain the situation to Tomioka and about the incident yesterday. After hearing it, she looks very troubled. I did tell her it’s not a big deal.

“I’m sorry for the trouble…”, said Tomioka

I then tell her once again that it was not a big deal, but Tomioka insists to repay me. I decline it, but to my dismay Tomioka stubbornly win the argument.

“Shinazugawa, if you don’t mind. I would like to treat you Ohagi.”

“Well, I am quite free nowdays.”

“Will tomorrow be okay with you?”

“Sure.”

After finishing breakfast, Tomioka goes home and here I am alone in my residence waiting for tomorrow to come.