Work Text:
"Advanced Gender Studies"
[Cold Open]
Setting: The study room
Jeff
Okay, it's been like 30 minutes and Pierce still isn't here.
Annie
Oh, no! Hopefully it's just like last time and he's fine...
Troy
He got an email about a free vacation in Florida. I was pretty sure it was a scam, and I've fallen for stuff like that before. But, he didn't listen. I still live with him, guys. It sucks.
Abed
Troy and I have an announcement to make, though.
Troy
As soon as I finish packing my stuff, Abed and I are gonna be living together!
Annie
Awww!
Shirley
Oh, that's nice!
Jeff
Congratulations to you two. Now, if we're done making announcements, can we all actually study?
Dean
[Over the intercom]
GOOD MORNING GREENDALE! As you may know from the flyers, today is the first meeting of our GSA, that is "gay straight alliance" for those of you who aren't with it. The club will be meeting Thursdays and Fridays after school. I hope I'll be seeing some familiar faces!
Britta
I'm just glad Pierce didn't hear that.
[The group chatters in agreement]
Troy
[In separate area from the rest of the group, badly lying]
Abed, can you get over here? I need help studying for my math final.
Abed
I thought you dropped out of–
Troy
SHHHH!
Abed
[Whispering, continuing what he was saying]
...math because you already had enough credits?
Troy
[Whispering]
Okay, that's not really what I called you over for.
Abed
[Puts head to the side, confused]
Troy
Since we're gonna be living together now,
[he sighs]
there's something I have to tell you. I'm a little nervous but I trust that you probably won't think of me any differently because of this.
Abed
What's up?
Troy
I'm a trans man.
[He pauses]
that doesn't weird you out or anything?
Abed
How would that weird me out? You're the coolest guy I know. And, I'm also trans. Nonbinary, specifically. I was planning on telling you earlier but I thought YOU would find it weird.
Troy
NO WAY!
Troy and Abed
[Singing in unison, softly]
Troy and Abed are transgeeeender!
[They do their handshake]
Troy
So, that's actually a relief! I barely have any other trans friends.
Abed
We could go to the gsa meeting? But wait, we still have packing to do.
Troy
I'm not really comfortable with anybody I'm not close with knowing, I don't want people to treat me any differently, like I already said.
Abed
Yeah, makes sense. What movie should we watch after we finish moving you in?
Troy
[Thinks for a minute]
The Matrix.
Abed
Cool cool cool cool.
[theme song plays]
Setting: Troy and Abed's apartment
[Troy and Abed finish unpacking the last box]
Troy
And that's it! I'm officially moved in!
Abed
Time to watch the movie?
Troy
Yeah!
Abed
Oh, I invited Annie too because she's never seen it. I forgot to tell you, I hope it's okay.
Troy
Oh, yeah that's fine. Just please don't talk about me being trans in front of her. I don't know how she would react.
Abed
I won't. But, I'm sure she wouldn't react badly. Annie's nice.
Troy
I just don't know how she feels about this stuff. She's not as vocal about stuff like Britta is.
Abed
Yeah.
[Abed gets a text]
Annie says she's running late. So, now we can talk about whatever we want I guess.
Troy
Yeahhh.
[Pause]
I'm glad I have someone else to talk to about trans stuff with. I mean, Britta's great but she transitioned when she was 5 so we don't really like. Relate to each other as much.
Abed
I didn't even know what gender was until I was like 10.
Troy
I KNOW, RIGHT? It makes me feel kind of bad for not knowing when I was younger when she talks about that. I was in ballet for years.
Abed
I played with dolls. No shame, Troy.
Troy
I didn't really know I was a guy until the end of 8th grade. What about you?
Abed
I always knew I was different but I didn't know that people could actually transition until I was well into high school. Not a lot of representation in the media. Anyway I got top surgery last year.
[he shows Troy]
I still have other scars too cause I got a reduction when I was 18. They're healing though. Also I use androgel so I can recreate the scene from Home Alone every morning
[he makes the Home Alone face]
Troy
Aw man, now I wish I used androgel. I'm just taking stupid injections. Also, I got top surgery when I was pretty young cause I was in football and I had to get changed in locker rooms and stuff. When people asked about it I said I was attacked by a shark and people actually believed me.
[Troy shows Abed his scars]
Abed
Yours healed really well. Is it okay if I touch the scars? Sorry if that's weird.
Troy
Go ahead! I don't think that's weird.
[Abed touches Troy's top surgery scars with both his thumbs on either side of Troy's chest. Troy looks up at Abed's face as he does this.]
Troy
You know, Annie keeps asking me if we're a couple.
Abed
I know. I told her you're out of my league.
Troy
Are you kidding? Anybody would be lucky to have you.
[They look at each other for 30 seconds, Troy grabs Abed's face with both hands and they start making out. After a little bit, Troy realizes something and breaks away]
Abed
What's wrong?
Troy
Nothing, I just remembered I have to do my T shot.
Abed
It was probably a good time to stop making out anyway, Annie's almost here. I'll get the popcorn.
[Abed walks into the kitchen, Troy gets his T out of his bag and does his shot on the couch. Annie looks through the window and sees Troy doing injections and she panics and starts making a group text]
Annie
[Voiceover while texting]
EMERGENCY MEETING! It's about Troy! Meet in the study room ASAP!
[Commercial break]
Setting: The study room
Jeff
So what was so important that you had to get all of us here at 10 pm.
Shirley
Some of us have families.
Britta
Okay, Annie did clearly say it was an emergency meeting. What's up with Troy?
Annie
I caught Troy using steroids.
Shirley
Oh, no!
Britta
I don't think he wa–
Annie
I'm just worried and disappointed. If someone else catches him he'll get kicked off the football team! Plus, he's using drugs to cheat.
Jeff
Annie. No he's not.
Annie
Then why was he injecting needles into himself? I think we need to intervene.
Britta
Annie, I appreciate how much you care, but I know for sure that he's not using steroids. He's just tra–
[Britta remembers Troy telling her to not tell the rest of the group that he is trans]
[Britta begins lying, terribly]
...nquilized. He's using tranquilizers. Cat tranquilizers to be exact. I...got them from my vet.
Jeff
Britta, what? Why would you do that?
Britta
They help him relax!
Annie
[Pointing to each member of the group]
Intervention? Intervention? Intervention?
[Camera focuses on Britta, making a very uncomfortable smile]
[Commercial break]
[Scene change, it's the next morning and everyone is walking on campus]
[Annie walks up to Troy and Abed who are walking together and having a conversation about the Matrix]
Troy
Oh, hi Annie!
Abed
We missed you yesterday. Why didn't you end up coming?
Annie
Because I caught you.
[Troy and Abed exchange shocked glances. Did she catch them making out?]
Troy
Caught us doing what exactly?
Annie
Britta told me about the cat tranquilizers. I was at the door and I saw you injecting them.
Troy
[Relieved she didn't see him and Abed kissing]
Ohhhh.
[Realizes what she just said]
Wait, what? Cat tranquilizers? What did Britta tell you?
Annie
At first I thought you were doing steroids and I was worried because that could get you in big trouble, but Britta said that it wasn't steroids and it was actually tranquilizers from her cat's vet.
Troy
[very nervous]
Oh. I need to talk to Britta…
Annie
You know, there's many better ways to relax. There's yoga, meditation, drinking tea...
[she continues talking about methods of relaxation, Troy sees Britta walking nearby, and he is now kind of pissed off]
Troy
[Very tense, through clenched teeth]
Oh, hi Britta.
Britta
Okay, I can explain.
[They get away from Annie and Abed]
Annie
[Shouting]
THIS CONVERSATION ISN'T OVER!
Abed
[Also shouting]
Yeah, we can talk more about The Matrix later!
Troy
Britta, what the hell.
Britta
She caught you doing testosterone. She didn't know what you were doing and she got worried and called the rest of the group for an emergency meeting. I wanted her to stop worrying about you doing steroids but I accidentally made it worse, I think. I'm really sorry, Troy.
Troy
[Sighs]
I forgive you. You were just trying not to out me cause you knew I wasn't ready yet. This entire situation just sucks.
Britta
What's your plan? Annie's really worried. I know you're not ready to tell everybody yet, but this could get out of hand.
Troy
I don't know. I'm really stressed out.
Britta
[Rubbing Troy's back]
I know. It's gonna be okay–
Troy
Is it?? I have no idea what will happen if the other group members know I'm trans. What if Shirley brings me to her church and tries to make me detransition? She's said some really homophobic stuff in the past, it would be weird if she made an exception for trans people.
Britta
Well, yesterday there was that announcement about the GSA and she didn't say anything bad! Maybe she changed her mind!
Troy
What if Jeff stops treating me like a man?
Britta
Okay, Jeff knows I'm trans and he wasn't weird about it! He was super accepting. In fact, maybe even a little turned on…
Troy
JEFF'S A CHASER? THAT'S EVEN WORSE!
Jeff
What's a chaser?
[Britta and Troy scream, startled]
Troy
How much of that conversation did you hear?
Jeff
Barely anything. Apparently you're doing cat tranquilizers. Is that true?
Troy
[Obviously lying]
Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh! You know me! I love my cat tranquilizers!
[He does an awkward thumbs up]
[Commercial break]
Setting: the study room
Annie
As most of you know, I caught Troy doing cat tranquilizers yesterday, and as his friend and fellow student, it's my duty to intervene.
Britta
You really don't have t–
Annie
God Britta, of course you're the one saying this. You literally got him on cat tranquilizers. I wouldn't be surprised if you were using them too. Both of you, hand over your bags!
Troy
I really don't feel comfortable doing that…
Britta
This is so unethical.
Jeff
Annie, knock it off. I'm pretty sure neither of them are doing cat tranquilizers. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?
Shirley
I don't know, someone in my church used horse tranquilizers "to relax". I say we let Annie search their bags. It's for our friends' health!
Annie
[Sweetly]
Aww thanks Shirley!
[Assertively]
Now, hand them over.
Britta
[to Troy]
You don't have to–
Troy
No, it's fine. You can search my bag, Annie. You just won't find what you're looking for.
[Troy and Britta hand over their bags. Annie shakes out Troy's bag over the table, Troy's T equipment clatters out]
Annie
Aha! I knew it!
[Annie reads the label]
Wait, this isn't a tranquilizer at all. This is testosterone. Isn't that used as a steroid? Troy, are you actually using steroids after all? You know how much trouble you can get in!
Troy
[Through clenched teeth]
I'm not using it as a steroid.
Annie
Then wh–
[Annie realizes what is going on and she covers her mouth with her hand, she looks like she's about to cry]
Oh my God, Troy, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to out you like this.
[Abed moves from his seat to comfort Troy, putting his arm around him protectively. Britta looks at Troy apologetically]
Jeff
I'm confused.
Shirley
Me too! What is going on?
Troy
What's going on is that I'm transgender and I didn't want to tell any of you because something like this would happen.
Shirley
Oh no, Troy. I didn't know you were...like that. If you come to my church–
Troy
And this is exactly why I didn't tell you. I knew you would say something like that.
Jeff
Wait, you used to be a chick?
Troy
And that's why I didn't tell you!
Annie
[Crying]
I'm so sorry, Troy.
Britta
Save it, Annie. And Jeff, what the hell! When I told you I'm trans you didn't say anything like that. I expected better from you.
Shirley
Wait, you too? Is there anybody in this study group who's normal?
[Annie and Britta gasp]
Annie
SHIRLEY!
Britta
That's it, I'm making everyone go to the GSA meeting. You cisgender, heterosexual people need to learn that not everyone is like you.
Jeff
Oh, come on.
Shirley
There's no way I'm going.
Annie
I'll go. To apologise to Troy.
[Troy just looks at the floor]
Abed
For the record, I'm transgender too. And, Shirley and Jeff? Yikes.
[Britta starts arguing with Jeff, Annie starts arguing with Shirley, Abed continues comforting Troy, then the lunch bell rings]
[Chang walks past the study room to get to lunch, and he yells to Troy from the window]
Chang
Hey Troy! I heard about your cat tranquilizer addiction. Happens to the best of us!
[Commercial break]
Setting: the cafeteria
[Troy, Abed, and Britta all sit at a table together, seperate from Jeff, Shirley, and Annie. Annie looks visibly sad.]
Britta
I wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave the study group after today.
Abed
[Completely sincere]
Don't listen to her. Please don't leave. Let's just kick out the cis people.
Britta
[Light-hearted]
Honestly, let's just kick the cis people out of literally everywhere.
Troy
I was expecting this from Shirley, but I honestly thought Jeff would react better. Like, seriously?
[He mimicks Jeff]
"You used to be a–
[Scene cuts to Jeff, having conversation with Shirley and Annie at the other table]
Jeff
"–chick?" that was so stupid of me to say. I wouldn't be surprised if Troy hates me now.
Shirley
I'm not proud of what I said earlier either. I shouldn't be judgemental of others, it's unchristian.
Annie
It's all my fault. I don't know if they'll ever forgive me.
[Scene cuts back to Troy, Abed, and Britta]
[Chang sits down next to Troy at their table, he sets down his lunch tray on the table]
Chang
So, I noticed that you guys weren't sitting with the rest of the group. What's going on? What's the hot gos?
Britta
There is no "hot gos", Chang. It's none of your business.
Chang
Aw, man. Well, if there's room left in the new study group, I'm down to join. You going to the GSA meeting?
Britta
Huh! I never thought you'd be interested in something like that!
Chang
Why the hell not?
[Lunch bell rings]
[The group gets up and starts packing up for class]
Troy
[Sighs]
Looks like we have anthropology. I was kind of hoping I could avoid Jeff, Annie and Shirley for the rest of the day.
Abed
I really hope they make it up to us. The group dynamic is just missing something without them. It would suck if we never talked to them again. I know I said earlier we should kick them out but it really wouldn't be the same.
Britta
I wish cis people could act normal.
[Scene change]
Setting: Anthropology class
Duncan
I'm too hungover to come up with anything to do. Just do some questions from the textbook.
Annie
We never got any textbooks.
Duncan
I don't know, go to the bloody library then. Or take a nap. I don't care. I certainly won't stop you.
Jeff
[Talking to Shirley]
I've never felt like this before but I actually feel. Guilty? Like I did something wrong? Does that make any sense?
Shirley
Yes, that's a feeling that most people have, other than you.
Jeff
It just feels so weird. I need to talk to Britta.
Shirley
I don't know if she'll want to talk to you after that, but you can try.
[Jeff walks to Britta, he stands near the empty seat next to her]
Jeff
Is this seat taken?
Britta
[Rolls her eyes]
What do you want.
Jeff
I need your help apologizing to Troy. I shouldn't have said those things.
Britta
[Genuinely surprised]
Jeff Winger wants to apologise to someone?
Jeff
[Sighs]
I know. I'm shocked too.
Britta
[Still not sure if Jeff is being sarcastic]
Way to go, man! Proud of you!
Jeff
I'm serious.
Britta
Fine. I'll try to help you, but keep in mind that I'm terrible at apologizing too.
Jeff
I had something to say, but I'm gonna try to not say any more rude things today.
Britta
Already making progress! I think I have an idea for what you could do to apologise. Bring Shirley over here too.
[Commercial break]
Setting: the GSA meeting
Dean
We have some new members today! Go ahead and introduce yourselves! Let's go in a circle, starting with Shirley.
Shirley
Oh! Well, I'm Shirley, and I'm a straight, Christian woman.
Michelle Slater
I'm Professor Slater, and I'm also a straight woman.
Shirley
Oh, that's nice!
Slater
I'm also transgender.
Troy and Britta
[half whisper in unison]
Jeff IS a chaser!
Jeff
Again, I have no idea what that means. Hi, I'm Jeff. I don't really label myself as anything. I just like anyone who's hot.
Britta
[Smugly]
There's a word for that, Jeff. It's called bisexuality. I'm Britta, she/her, and I'm a bisexual trans woman.
Abed
Hi, I'm Abed. I'm also bisexual. And I'm nonbinary but I don't mean that in the "absence of gender" way, I mean like if my gender was male but like a flavored sparkling water where you can barely taste the flavor that's on the label but it's definitely there. I use they/he pronouns.
Dean
Wow! Very cool how concise that was. I am also nonbinary, but if I explained my gender in terms like that, we would all be here in this meeting until midnight, and we wouldn't want any of that, would we. Who's next?
Troy
Pass. I'm not comfortable introducing myself until some people leave.
Britta, Shirley, Jeff
[Assorted "what?" "Huh?" "Why?" etc]
Shirley
Troy, we came here for you! I wouldn't normally be in a club like this.
Troy
Yeah, I was kind of planning on not talking to you.
Dean
With any other students' drama I would tell them to keep it out of here, but I'm too invested to stop it.
Abed
Yeah. Shirley and Jeff, it really wasn't cool what you said to Troy. Annie, we're a little less mad at you.
Annie
Awww! Oh, that probably wasn't appropriate.
Britta
Guys, hear them out. They said stupid things today, but they mean well.
Troy
Do they really? Or are they just upset because someone who used to look up to them doesn't like them anymore.
Jeff and Shirley
[In unison]
That's…
Annie
Don't deny it, Jeff. You live for praise and now there's a lot less and it's making you die inside.
Chang
[At the door]
Hey guys!
Dean
[Screaming]
NO! GET OUT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!
Chang
[runs away, terrified]
Dean
[normal voice]
Sorry about that, continue!
Britta
Jeff, Shirley, that's not what you're upset about, right?
Shirley
Definitely not.
Jeff
I'm not upset because someone who used to look up to me doesn't think I'm cool anymore–
Troy
I never said I thought you were cool–
Jeff
It was implied.
[starts his next sentence]
Britta
Jeff.
Jeff
Yeah, I screwed it up.
[Commercial break]
Jeff
What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry I said...
[winces in embarrassment at what he said earlier that day]
"you used to be a chick".
Slater
Jesus, Jeff. You didn't say anything like that when I told you I'm trans.
Britta
I KNOW, RIGHT! It's so weird that we used to hate each other, are you free tomorrow?
Slater
Actually, yes!
[Slater and Britta make plans while Jeff continues what he's saying]
Jeff
To tell the truth, you're a better man than me. You don't hurt people around you. You're selfless, and you help people even when you won't gain anything from it. I wish I could be more like you. That's why I was so upset about the idea of you hating me. I'm super embarrassed that I even said that. Also, please explain what "chaser" means because I'm really lost.
[Troy's expression softens]
Shirley
I'm sorry too, Troy. I shouldn't have tried to get you to go to my church when you said you were transgendered. I'm still learning about these things, and you are a friend I really value. I would never want to lose you, even if it means reevaluating my own beliefs.
[Troy starts to speak]
Annie
[blurting these words very suddenly]
I'm sorry too! I should have never gotten involved like that. I was trying to help, but I went too far. Also... I've never told anybody this but I'm a lesbian!
Jeff
What?
Shirley
Oh...I accept you, Annie. And, everyone else in the group.
Dean
Now isn't that nice! Are there any other new members who wanted to introduce themselves?
Vaughn
Yeah. Me. I'm trans too, and just letting you know, Jeff and Shirley, please stop making fun of my nipples. I paid a lot of money for this chest.
Dean
Aaaaand that's all the time we got! Sorry everyone, the janitors have to clean the room in like 10 minutes.
[Everyone picks up their stuff and starts leaving]
Britta
You guys don't have to do speeches all the time, you know. A simple apology would suffice.
Jeff
You got me.
[Shirley and Annie hum in agreement]
Troy
Do you really wish you could be more like me?
Jeff
You're the coolest guy I know.
Abed
Aha! A callback to a line of dialogue earlier in the episode!
Jeff
What.
[The group walks past Chang in the hallway, who was waiting outside the GSA that whole time]
Chang
I don't know why he won't let me in! I'm literally an LGBT former staff member and he's not letting me in! Is it because of the gay jokes? Does nobody know I'm a trans man? I've literally had to walk around without my binder on MORE THAN ONCE cause I kept getting robbed at the Y and still nobody has caught on!
[Commercial break]
Setting: Troy and Abed's apartment
[Troy and Abed are watching TV together, they aren't talking but there's noticeable awkwardness]
Troy
So…
Abed
Hmm?
Troy
Today was something.
Abed
Yep.
Troy
Because today was so weird we never got to talk about other stuff. Pretty important stuff.
[Abed looks at Troy]
Troy
Dude, we made out yesterday but we never had a chance to talk about it because of everything else going on!
Abed
That was yesterday? Man, today was long.
Troy
I know, right! Anyway, I was meaning to ask you what that meant for...you know...us? Like, what are we?
Abed
I think you're great, like you're literally my favorite person ever. I just worry that if we date we'll break up and you'll hate me and you'll never talk to me again.
Troy
I could never hate you. I promise.
Abed
That's so cliche.
Troy
I know, but I mean it.
[They kiss, but are startled seconds later by knocking on the door]
Annie
I hope I'm not interrupting anything!
Abed
Oh, hi Annie!
Troy
ANNIE! I totally wasn't expecting you here!
Annie
Abed invited me again 'cause I never got to see The Matrix!
Troy
Oh, it's really good!
Abed
You know, The Matrix is actually a metaphor for being trans.
[Abed continues explaining as the scene fades out]
[Commercial break]
[Credit scene]
Setting: the study room the next week
[Miscellaneous group chatter]
Pierce
[Shows up in Hawiian shirt]
What did I miss?
Troy
Nothing much! How was your... vacation?
Pierce
So I was scammed, but I managed to get on the plane anyway.
Jeff
How…?
Pierce
What are you, a cop? By the way Troy, I heard about your–
Troy
Yeah, yeah, the cat tranquilizers.
Pierce
Well, can I have some? I've never tried that drug and I feel left out.
[The group stares at him]
Pierce
What?
THE END