Chapter Text
neiljostan added cantspellsexywithoutexy and 7 more
cantspellsexywithoutexy: matt
cantspellsexywithoutexy: matt what is this
neiljostan: team bonding bitch
andrew: ew gross
begaydocrime changed andrew’s name to stabbyminyard
stabbyminyard: nicky
stabbyminyard: nicky
begaydocrime: what’s this??? my cousin??? talking to me???? no i must be seeing things
stabbyminyard: nicky wtf did you do
begaydocrime: ah that’s more in character
stabbyminyard: why can i not change my name
stabbyminyard: nicky
neiljosten: what is this
neiljosten: why are there two of me
neiljostan: oh im matt
neiljostan: get it
neiljostan: bc i stan you
neiljosten: what does that mean
neiljostan: nicky
neiljostan: explain the definition of stan
begaydocrime: uhh its like
begaydocrime: its like when
begaydocrime: shit how do i explain things
begaydocrime: like
begaydocrime: you think they’re really cool and stuff
neiljostan: and stuff
neiljosten: so like a crush
begaydocrime: HBDFDSHGS
neiljostan: close enough buddy
neiljosten: andrew explain
stabbyminyard: you can literally just google it
neiljosten: too much work
stabbyminyard: fine
stabbyminyard: “an overzealous or obsessive fan of a particular celebrity.”
stabbyminyard: see that took three seconds
stabbyminyard: you’re lucky you’re cute
begaydocrime: DID I JUST SEE WHAT I THOUGH I SAW
begaydocrime: ANDREW
begaydocrime: WHAT
neiljosten: wait does this mean i’m a celebrity
neiljosten: matt am i a celebrity
neiljostan: sure bro
neiljosten: bro
neiljostan: bro
begaydocrime: are we just gonna ignore andrew calling neil cute
stabbyminyard: yes
joanofexy: hi
joanofexy: what is going on
cantspellsexywithoutexy: i fucking wish i knew
notallison: i’m gone for an hour and we have a whole gc
notallison: which i have been suggesting for MONTHS
notallison: fINALLY
neiljostan: yes allison you are brilliant
notallison: awww ty
tokenstraight: why am i even here
tokenstraight has left the chat
stabbyminyard has added tokenstraight to the chat
stabbyminyard: if i have to suffer so do you
begaydocrime: aw look they’re bonding
stabbyminyard: fuck you
tokenstraight: fuck you
tokenstraight: shit
stabbyminyard: shit
begaydocrime: like i said
begaydocrime: bonding
stabbyminyard: i hate you all
begaydocrime: did you not just call neil cute
stabbyminyard: no idea what you’re talking about
neiljostan: then why has neil been blushing for the past 5 minutes
stabbyminyard: neil
stabbyminyard: mon dieu
cantspellsexywithoutexy: since when do you know french
stabbyminyard: i dont
cantspellsexywithoutexy: but
stabbyminyard: shut up kevin
joanofexy: m o v i n g o n
stabbyminyard: (thanks renee)
joanofexy: (yw drew)
begaydocrime: d
begaydocrime: drew
begaydocrime: omg can i call you drew
stabbyminyard: i will kill you
begaydocrime: okay cool how did renee get unkill status
stabbyminyard: lesbian rights
joanofexy: lesbian rights
notallison: lesbian rights
begaydocrime: homophobia
stabbyminyard: exactly
stabbyminyard: yes i’m gay yes i’m homophobic we exist
tokenstraight: once again
tokenstraight: why tf am i here
notallison: do not dare leave
tokenstraight: i hate you all
neiljosten: excuse you matt i absolutely have not been blushing for 5 minutes
nieljostan: huh
neiljostan: oH
neiljostan: well duh it’s been 10 minutes now
notallison: andrew you broke him
stabbyminyard: oh my god
begaydocrime: i think you have to compliment him more now
begaydocrime: exposure therapy
stabbyminyard: i hate you all
neiljosten: oh my god
neiljosten: andrew just burst in and called me a pipe dream
begaydocrime: ah young love
notallison: so sweet
thedansnackbar: hello whats this
thedansnackbar: wait do you guys like my name
stabbyminyard: ,,, is it a percy jackson reference
thedansnackbar: yoU READ PERCY JACKSON???
stabbyminyard: i was a middle school closet case what do you think
tokenstraight: wtf is percy jackson
begaydocrime: oh my god you are not my cousin
neiljosten: wait no what is it
stabbyminyard: book series
tokenstraight: i mean i wasn’t a middle school closet case so
neiljosten: technically neither was i
neiljosten: i was a ~college closet case~
neiljosten: for like three minutes
neiljosten: but still
begaydocrime: aaron are you a college closet case
tokenstraight: no im the token straight
begaydocrime: b o r i n g
begaydocrime named the group chat we’re all gay
tokenstraight changed the group chat name to we’re mostly gay
stabbyminyard changed the group chat name to we’re all gay (fuck you aaron)
cantspellsexywithoutexy: do i just not exist
begaydocrime: oh no not another straight
notallison changed the group chat name to we’re all gay (fuck you aaron and kevin)
notallison: WAIT
notallison changed the group chat name to we’re all gay (fuck you kevaaron)
cantspellsexywithoutexy: end me
stabbyminyard: i mean if you say so
cantspellsexywithoutexy: i take it back
neiljosten: wtf is a kevaaron
stabbyminyard: ship name
neiljosten: we have a ship??? tf????
cantspellsexywithoutexy: n,,., no,.,.,
stabbyminyard: it’s when you think two people would look good as a couple
neiljosten: oh
neiljosten: wait
neiljosten: kevin and aARON??
neiljosten: why
stabbyminyard: token straights
tokenstraight: i’ve been summoned
tokenstraight: ohmygOd i would like to be unsummoned
neiljosten: pretty sure that’s not a word
tokenstraight: shut up
neiljosten: wait andrew do we have a ship name
tokenstraight: yes you are the dumbasses
neiljosten: rude
stabbyminyard: unfortunately
neiljosten: what is it
notallison: andriel
thedansnackbar: i came up with it i think it’s pretty genius
neiljosten: that sounds like some sort of drug
stabbyminyard: fitting
neiljostan: im
neiljosten: how-
stabbyminyard: “you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs”
stabbyminyard: “i’m not a hallucination”
stabbyminyard: “you are a pipe dream”
neiljosten: oh yEAH
neiljostan: couple goals