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"Anne, I've told you a hundred times. People can stare all they want, I don’t care what they think." Phillip steps forward in the dusty circus ring to take Anne's hand in his. "If they want to stare, let's give them something to really look at." He raises her hand up like he does at the end of each show. "Anne Elizabeth Wheeler, Princess of the Circus! Queen of my heart. Look at how she shines!"
"Phillip--"
He spins her around once, and nearly misses the small twinge of a smile on her lips. "Prettiest eyes my own have ever met. And that hair!" He steps behind her and fluffs it gently, cleverly avoiding her swatting hand. "Something to be envied." He quirks a brow as if talking to an invisible crowd.
"Phillip--" she tries again.
"I'll buy you the prettiest dress in all of New York. That'll really give them something to talk about." He adjusts his bow tie and then continues on in his showman voice. "Ladies and gentleman, she's a walking work of art. It is understandable why you stare, good sir and good lady, it's not everyday you get to see something as grand and beautiful as she!" He walks around her in a circle as if presenting her to a crowd.
"Oh, stop that Phillip. I'm not one of Barnum's trinket collections."
The smile on his lips falters. "That's not what I meant." The pair stood in the practice ring alone, with nothing but a single light to keep them company. "You deserve to be shown off, Anne. The people love you inside the tent, they should love you outside of it too." He reaches a hand out to her face and caresses it gently. "They're just simple minded people. If they would only take the time to see what I see..." He shakes his head sadly. "They're missing out." He says with a sudden grin.
"You flatter me." She casts her eyes down and takes his hand in hers, pushing it away from her face.
"Let's go to the theater, Anne. It'll be different this time. I think they're showing something classical tomorrow night. One of Shakespeare's. Do you like him?"
"Shakespeare?" She regards him. Phillip already knows she does, he’s caught her reading some of his plays. "I... I suppose I do..." She drops his hand and opts for a rope instead that will lower her hoop.
"Then we're going! Luckily enough, I already bought our tickets. The show sold out in nearly two hours."
Expecting a grin from her, Phillip is disappointed to see her frown. "Already?
"Well, they're not front row tickets but something close to it-- middle of the floor." His eyes sparkled.
"I'm sure... I'm sure we'll have a fine view." She hoists herself into the hoop and sits with her arms loosely holding onto the sides.
Phillip frowns, detecting her unease. "If you're uncomfortable I'm sure we can--"
"No, I like the seats." She assures him. "I’m not uncomfortable either, I’m just tired of having to defend myself…” Her frown deepens. “But, I’m sure it’s going to be a good night no matter what happens."
Phillip takes a hold of the hoop, guiding it in a lazy circle around the ring. "You don’t have to defend yourself alone anymore. I’ll fight for you. You know I’ll fight for us. "
~*~*~*~
The next night, Lettie helps Anne get dressed and directs her on where to put the pins in her hair. "You look stunning! A woman right out a Shakespeare play herself." Lettie finishes zipping her dress up. True to his word, Phillip had a dressmaker tailor a dress especially for her. It is a beautiful, pale pink color, with creamy lace and tiny pink flowers embroidered on the bodice and around the edges. Anne could hardly accept it, but somehow Phillip persuaded her. She was glad she could hold herself together long enough in front of him, only to shed a few grateful tears alone in her caravan.
Anne smiles shyly at her friend through the mirror and regards herself as well. "Thank you, Lettie..." Adjusting her shawl, she stands up. "Phillip is probably waiting for me, I should get going..." Her brows knit into an uncertain line.
"Don't enjoy yourselves too much now. Have fun and be careful. It's a little nippy outside tonight." Lettie refers to more than just the cold, however.
Anne meets Phillip at the main tent, and together they walk up to the carriage waiting for them. Like any good gentleman, Phillip opens the carriage door for her and offers her a hand up. She takes it graciously, Phillip following right after. He takes his seat across from her in the small carriage and raps on the roof to let the driver know they are ready.
"You look beautiful." He smiles sheepishly, toying with his hat in his hands.
"You don't clean up too bad yourself." She smirks. "What play was it again?"
"It's a surprise." His eyes sparkle.
"I hate surprises." She gives him a pointed look.
"I know. But you'll like this one, I promise."
"You should know to be careful with that word, Carlyle." She averts her gaze, opting instead to look at the passing street lamps lining the cobbled streets of New York City.
"If it wasn't true, I wouldn't say it. I'm a lot of things, but I'm no P.T. Barnum." He jokes, hoping she would laugh, but she just smiles.
"I know."
The drive to the theater is smooth and somewhat lengthy. The pair talk about the circus, and Phillip's days as a playwright. They don’t stay on that subject for too long. Anne never wants to talk about herself, and Philip respects that. He just wishes she would open up to him more. Someday, he'll talk to her about it. Tonight wasn't a good time. He doesn't want to ruin a perfectly good evening by bringing up something she'd rather forget.
When they arrive at the theater, Phillip again opens the door for Anne, and leads her down the few steps. He tips his hat to the driver, and offers his arm to Anne. To help calm her nerves, she reaches out to straighten his crooked bow tie before taking his arm gratefully, and the two proceed to the theater. Just passed the ticket master, Anne stops at the bottom of the steps leading to the inner theater.
"Everything all right?" Phillip brushes a stray hair out of Anne's face, his brows furrowing.
Anne squares her shoulders, and she nods, taking a shaky breath. "Let's go."
The two travel up the stairs with minimal whisperings from other theater goers. The worst looks they receive are from the ladies who flash them rude glares as they pass through the row to find their seats. While Anne stares ahead with a squared jaw --acting unbothered-- Phillip gives them a challenging look of his own. While they wait for the show to begin, they talk as if they've been to the theater a hundred times together, Anne still trying to get Phillip to reveal the play. With more time in the circus, it becomes easier to ignore the people talking behind your back. Odd looks, Phillip supposes, they could handle as well. Although, being in an environment they had less control over was sure to make them a little uneasy.
At long last, the lights dim and a spotlight shines on a man standing in the middle of the stage. His black and white suit is not less luxurious than the beautifully carved stage, gold filigree cleverly placed to define the intricate designs.
"Ladies and gentleman!” The man bellows. “Tonight's performance is one to be remembered. For the first time ever, The Grand Opera House presents one of Shakespeare's finest: Romeo And Juliet! Now, we all hope for you to sit back, and enjoy the show." The man smiles brightly just as the spotlight goes out, and a few moments later the red velvet curtain behind him opens to reveal the medieval set.
"Romeo and Juliet!" Anne breathes, squeezing Phillips arm.
"Do you like this one?" He peers down at her, marveling at her shining eyes enraptured by the stage.Instead of responding she just squeezes his arm again and pulls his hand into her lap. Phillip couldn't help the lopsided smile that sneaks its way onto his lips. Begrudgingly, he turns his attention back to the stage. It didn't take long for his gaze to switch back to Anne, who he found to be more enthralling than the play itself.
Her eyes fill with wonder as she watches, her lips fixed into a permanent light smile. She catches him staring once, and he quickly turns his head to pretend like he hadn't been. As soon as she focuses back on the play again, his attention is back to her. Phillip was equally enraptured by his Anne.
Out of the corner of his eye, Phillip also notices a young girl a row or two behind them watching them with a troubled look. Much like Phillip with Anne, the second the girl notices Philip looking at her she instantly turns away.
This was a normal occurrence, and Phillip pays it no mind. However he caught her staring several times, and it was starting to get on his nerves. He hoped Anne didn’t mind his staring. He pushes the rush of annoyance and anger down inside him and instead opts to watch the play instead, which holds his attention much better than the first act.
"Thus with a kiss, I die." Romeo says on the stage, and moments later, Juliet awakes.The play ends shortly after, and the actors and actresses take their bows. The theater erupts into polite clapping, nothing like at the circus. At the end of circus performances, the audience was excited and riled up; whooping, hollering, stomping. At the theater, the applause washed over the stage like a calm wave. Phillip smirks to himself, much rather preferring the raucous noise of circus goers.
"Well, what did you think of it?" Phillip inquires, guiding Anne through the tight throng of well-dressed theater-goers.
"You used to write these?" She asks in amazement.
Phill lets out a puff of surprised air. "My plays were nowhere near the likes of Shakespeare.”
“I mean, it was no circus but it's something, I'll always be partial to our shows... This play was all I could have ever hoped it would be." She grins up at him.
"No, nothing could ever beat the circus." He agrees full heartedly. "They did execute the play very well." He adds.
At this, Anne scoffs. "And how much of it did you actually watch? Every time I looked at you your attention was... elsewhere." She quirks a brow in amusement.
He waves a dismissive hand. "It was a good play. I just found you to be more my taste."
Anne purses her lips to hide the smitten look growing on her features. "Is that so?"
The pair arrives in the foyer of the theater, and Phillip finds himself face to face with the girl who had been watching them in the auditorium. He hasn’t told Anne about her for fear of upsetting her, and he didn’t want to ruin her night which was going so well already. He regards the girl with a tight lipped smile and tips his head in her direction politely.
"Excuse me sir, ma'am." She stops them.
Anne's smile gently flutters off her face, and instantly her jaw sharpens and she lifts her head a little bit higher.
Her blonde hair is pinned up similar to Anne's, and the light blue of her dress compliments her eyes, filled with a curious look that Philip couldn’t identify; there was no malice in them, and Phillip found that to be strange. Now that he has a clear view of her, Phillip recognizes her as a daughter of the esteemed Haverford family. One of their five children, all girls.
"How do you do." Phillip greets, ready to step around her. Anne's grip loosened on his arm while Phillips tightens.
"I don't mean to be rude," She begins.
Red flag number one, Phillip notes.
"But I couldn't help but notice," She seems uncomfortable almost, as most people do. However in a sheepish sort of way, as is nervous for whatever she was about to say next: "Just how, how adoring you two are of each other." Her voice grew softer. " You don't see a love like this-" she gestures to the pair with silk gloved fingers. "- very often." She smiles timidly, a longing sigh barely audible enough as it leaves her lips.
Phillip blinks slowly, trying to register what the girl had said. Beside him, Anne wasn’t faring much better either. Both are taken aback by the sincerity and complete unexpected words. Slowly, a smile began to spread on Anne’s face. Her cheeks flushed pink as if she had on her circus makeup.
"Thank...Thank you, miss. You have a kind heart. Not everyone is as--"
A man standing behind the girl turns around in that moment, his eyes catching upon the company of his partner.
"Oh my... “ He takes a sharp intake of breath, averting his gaze quickly. “Come, Sibyl." He tugs on her arm, roughly pulling her away from their conversation. "I think you've chatted long enough. Pardon us." He says disdainfully. Sibyl's sheepish smile is wiped off her face in an instant and she immediately does as she is told.
"I'm sorry." She mumbles as she’s whisked off into the slowly thinning crowd. Philip and Anne watch her go in complete silence. She glances back at them once more, her mouth open as if she wants to say something else, and then she is gone.
"That was..." Phillip stares after her.
"Unexpected." Anne finishes for him. "To say the least."
"That's how people ought to be." Phillip raises his brows and continues to lead Anne through the crowd. The pleasant aura emanating from them protects them from the not-so-pleasant looks of the remaining theater goers.
"I feel bad for her. That man with her..." Anne shakes her head.
Something the girl, Sibyl, had said still echoes through Phillip's mind. The whole interaction with her had been a glorious compliment, there was just one thing... Sibyl had used the words 'a love like this'.
Love ...
He glances at Anne, wondering if she was thinking about the same thing.
He knew he loved Anne the moment he saw her. He's been aware of the part of his heart that ached when he saw her and he had to wait a whole day to touch her-- practice days could be long. He was aware when he ran into the burning building for her. He is aware now. And he is aware that he'd never told her about this love. He just assumed she knew, or-- his heart ached - --that she didn't feel the same way. The real problem here was that he didn't want to come to terms with it and be turned away.
"People marry for money and status in this world. Not for love." He gestures to the people around them. "Love takes the back burner here."
"This was your world once." Anne notes quietly.
" Once. And I pray to God it never will be again.” He shivers. A small smile plays on Anne's lips.
The pair arrives at the ornate doors to the theater, and Phillip glances around for their driver, who was waiting for them just a small ways down the street. A gust of cold wind blows through them as they walk, bringing with it light flurries of snow, unexpected for a mid November day.
“Snowflakes.” Anne raises her brows in surprise.
Phillip turns to her, notices that her shawl is crooked, and reaches out to adjust it more aptly around her shoulders. “A bit premature, I suppose.”
“Three surprises in one night. I guess I better start getting used to them.” She grins.
“What has life in the circus been for, if not to prepare you for surprises?” He grins back. Once they reach the carriage, Phillip again holds the door for her and helps her up and inside. This time, they sit on the same side, pressed close together.
"Sibyl really was peculiar." Anne toys with her hands in her lap.
Phillip raps on the roof of the carriage. "You don't meet many people like her." He shakes his head regretfully.
"I'm glad we did though." Anne’s attention is focused on the carriage window. "Not all people are bad. I like to think that there's a great deal of kind people in the world, and the bad people are the minority. The bad people are just a little bit louder than everyone else, so it seems like there are more bad than good." Anne drew her attention away from the window, fixing Phillip with a knowing look.
"That's a good way to put it…” He smiles down into his open hands. “You know, you're one of the good ones, like Sibyl."
Anne sighs in contentment, reaching out to tilt his chin up with her fingers. "You're one of the best."
Phillips turns to press a kiss into her calloused palm. “I don’t know about that…” He breathes in amusement. He was just happy that he was good enough for Anne, which he supposed, was a feat in itself. She was more than just beautiful. She was talented and clever. Phillip wasn’t a self conscious man, but he often wondered how he had gotten so lucky as to be the one that Anne allowed inside her walls-- She still remained incredibly reserved, but ever so slowly she would reveal something new to him, and Phillip could feel his own self soften.
Now, Anne leans her head onto his shoulder and closes her eyes to rest. They have a bit of a drive, and it is late. Phillip peers down at her, his hands finding her own. The pair grows silent, and Phillip has a fleeting feeling that they might both be thinking the same thing.
He practices running the words through his head a few times. I love you. I love you...I love you… Finally, he decides to break the comfortable silence. His confidence is flimsy, but he wants to tell her. He wants her to know, even if she can’t say it back. "Anne?"
"Hmm?"
"I... never mind..." He laughs nervously. She didn’t say anything, allowing for the comfortable silence to fall yet again.
Perhaps he should wait for her to say it first. She set the pace in this relationship, and he doesn’t want to throw a wrench in it. She would decide to say it if and when she was ready. But he wants her to know. He is willing to take a risk. That's what his new life has been about. If he had one word to describe it, it would be just that.
"Anne?" He tries again. This time she gently sits up, fixing him with her warm brown eyes.
"Yes, Phillip."
He swallows hard once, then takes in a shaky breath. "I love you." He says firmly. Her eyes widen, and for the longest time she doesn’t move or say anything. Phillip sees a thousand thoughts flicker past her eyes.
He’s suddenly unsure what to do with his hands, and says quickly, "It's okay if–"
"Phillip," She interrupts, reaches a hesitant hand, warm and calloused, to his cheek. "It's alright." Her eyes dart down to his lips then back up to his eyes. "I love you too."
He doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until he involuntarily lets out a puff of air. The corners of his mouth quirk up. Like Anne had been, now he was silent, lost for words, unsure where to go from here because he didn’t think he would get this far. Anne lets out a small laugh, pulling Phillip from his thoughts.
“Are you just gonna stare at me with that dopey look all night, Mr. Carlyle?” She tilts her head ever so slightly to one side, and Phillip thinks that he just might. He could die right here a happy man.
“Not quite,” He says instead. With both his hands he reaches up to cup her face, leans into her and catches her lips with his own. He presses gently, something warm and giddy rises up inside of him when he feels her smiling against him.
Time melts away, and after an infinity they manage to pull away from one another. Phillip enjoys catching her still with her eyes closed, lips just parted, a shaky breath on her lips. When she opens her eyes, she tilts her again, and Phillip can’t help but feel the overwhelming urge to kiss her once more. This time, he leans in and peppers quick kisses all over her face-- Left cheek, forehead, nose, right cheek, lips, forehead again. Her childlike laugh that bubbles up as she clutches his coat collar eggs him on, until he’s out of breath and her shoulders are shaking from her giggles.
Anne was a mystery if there ever was one, and Phillip could kill to know more about her. She has walls, and he likes to be the one to break them down. There is one thing that he was certain of though-- She loves him. It is the highest blessing he could have ever hoped to receive. The only one he would ever need.
Anne sighs contently and returns her head to his shoulder once they both calmed down. The glowing smile never leaves her face. Tonight couldn't have been more perfect. The play, Sibyl, this carriage ride home.
A love like this...
Phillip rests his own head on top of Anne's, entwining their hands down into his lap. His fingers brush lightly against her own. One day he would put a ring on those fingers. Sibyl was right. You don't see a love like this very often. And Phillip thanked all of the stars in the night sky that he had been lucky enough to have a love like this with Anne.