Chapter Text
“Ok. Ok ok ok. Shh-shh, ok I think we got it.”
Abigail sat back and glanced at Sam, admiring their handiwork. “Ok don’t move, don’t even breathe,” she whispered and dug out her phone. Sam stifled giggles as Abi took photos to document what had to be their best prank yet.
It had been weeks since Sebastian had made it to their regular Friday night hangout at the Stardrop. Something about “a big job for a very important client” or whatever, as if that were a good enough excuse to ditch them.
He swore he’d be able to make it this week, but that hangout came and went. Without Seb to whoop Sam’s ass at pool, Sam and Abi found themselves with plenty of time to plan some good-natured revenge.
“Yoba in a toga, I cannot believe he ditched us again, Sam.”
“I know, right? It’s like he doesn’t even care that I’m winning all these pool games. So much for his perfect streak.”
“Buddy I don’t think it works that way.”
“Of course it does! It’s like a, you know, a thingy, one of those things where you have a thing and if the other person doesn’t show up they lose and you win because of the fault.”
“Default, Sam, you’re talking about winning by default. And that’s not how pool works.”
“Oh whatever,” Sam huffed. “I have to have something to tease him with for this. It’s either I win at pool and rub it in his face or… or…”
He paused and looked up, eyes glittering. Abi’s face stretched into a wide grin. “Or we prank the shit out of him!” It was always weird when they spoke in unison, but they were both so excited that they didn’t care. “We’re gonna need a lot of eggs.”
Finished with the setup, Sam and Abi crept behind Sebastian’s bed. They had spent the better part of three days gathering as many eggs as they could find, and now they were piled precariously around their sleeping friend.
“Hey, we should record this,” whispered Sam.
“Oooh, good idea, gimme a sec to switch it.”
Seb stirred lightly and they held their breath for a tense moment. Abi hurriedly tapped her phone to record. “Ok are you ready?” Sam nodded. He leaned in and took a deep breath.
“WAKE UP ASSHOLE!”
Sebastian woke with a start, sitting up and slamming his face into the paper plate that had been balanced on a cardboard tube tower built directly above him. Eggs rained down around him, breaking on his head and chest. He rolled and flailed his arms, smacking and crushing the eggs that had been nestled around his body while he slept. He yelped in confusion and swore as egg oozed into his nose and mouth.
He panicked and struggled. Egg flew everywhere.
Sam and Abi doubled over, howling with laughter. It was all Abi could do to keep her phone steady to record this masterpiece.
“Augh, fuck!” Sebastian spat. “Fuck! Fuck you guys, you suck so much you fuckin’ dicks!”
“Serves you right, you jackass,” Sam gasped, wiping tears from his eyes and handing over a towel.
“Yeah, we missed you Seb!”
“Fuck you both!”
“Aw, don’t be like that Sebby,” she laughed. “We’re not all bad, we got you this to go along with the rest of your gifts.” Abi held out an egg the size of a tennis ball. “We couldn’t get this one to balance, so. Here you go!”
“What is it, more eggs you assholes? I can’t believe you.” Sebastian wiped egg out of his eyes and glared in Abi’s direction. “You know how much I fucking hate eggs, you—wait what is that…” he reached out and gingerly took the egg. It was impossibly black with flecks of red here and there. It seemed to glisten. “Now this… this is beautiful,” he said breathlessly, staring into its eggy void.
Still giggling, the aforementioned assholes looked at each other and smirked. “Sure it is, egg boy.”
“Sebby loves eggs.”
“Yeah, egg lover.”
“…shut up, I hate you both. And you’d better clean up these eggs.”