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Everything Yoohyeon wants for Christmas is a porcelain doll with jet black hair. She’s collecting them see, and all the dolls have pretty blue or pink dresses with blonde or brown hair. Ever since she was a child she’s loved the beautiful dolls, but she has yet to see one with the most gorgeous midnight black hair. Now, at eighteen, she thinks it’s time she finds one. It’s at the top of her wishlist; in fact, it’s the only thing written on it.
She knows it’s silly, but she addresses her wishlist to Santa Claus, despite knowing for the past ten years he isn’t real. Her mum always pretended, for her sake, that Santa was real, even to this day claiming she knows nothing about how the Christmas presents ends up underneath the tree. Yoohyeon often plays along, amused at her mother’s childlike Christmas spirit. Sometimes she even wonders, when she opens gifts wrapped in paper she knows they don’t have in the house, addressed to her from Santa Claus, an almost genuine look of surprise on her mum’s face when she sees the present... It’s almost like he’s real after all. And if he is, maybe he can manage the seemingly impossible task of finding that one doll Yoohyeon wants.
Her wishlist with her one wish has been up on the fridge since the end of November, but she rolls up the paper and puts it under the tree on Christmas Eve, as she always does. As if Santa will find it there when he comes during the night, having just what she wants at hand right then and there. Doesn’t he have to plan ahead so he knows what to bring? Santa is probably above that kind of logic though, and anyhow, it’s just a silly tradition. Yet, Yoohyeon feels an excited tingle when she goes to bed that night. Maybe her wish would come true...?
Her mum and dad stay up a bit longer to make the final preparations for the big day, but Yoohyeon feels as though she can hear rustling downstairs even after they go to bed. She can hardly sleep yet, excited as a little kid, and she considers sneaking downstairs to check if all the gifts are under the tree yet. Then, if there are presents there tomorrow that weren’t there before... No. Better not to spoil any surprises.
The next day Yoohyeon is as excited as her younger siblings, running downstairs as soon as she wakes up, joining her family in the decorated living room. As always, they open the presents from "Santa Claus" first. Her siblings go first, since they are younger. She is certain at least one of them still genuinely believes in Santa, and knows her parents' pretence is mostly for their sake. But she likes to think it’s at least a tiny bit for her as well.
At her turn, she carefully unwraps the big rectangular present. The wrapping paper is beautiful with pictures of angels on it, and the ribbon is tied in a pretty bow. The perfect wrapping for a beautiful gift. Inside is a cardboard box which she carefully pries open, and whatever is inside is hidden in generous amounts of bubble wrap. Such a delicate and fragile gift must of course be well protected.
Yoohyeon grins excitedly at her parents when she unwraps the bubble wrap, but her smile falls when the gift is revealed. Her mother asks what’s wrong, doesn’t she like it? Yoohyeon smiles and says that of course she likes it, but her mind is screaming no, this is all wrong! The porcelain doll she holds in her hands is sure beautiful, with her dark blue eyes and red velvet dress, but her hair is strikingly blonde. Bright, golden curls flow down the back of her dress, shining in the lights from the Christmas tree.
How could this happen? She had clearly wished for a dark haired doll, and here it is, right in front of her eyes, blonde as a barbie. Now she truly wonders who this gift is really from. Perhaps her mum misread her wishlist, or maybe she didn't find any dolls with black hair, and decided to give her another one instead? Yoohyeon isn't upset with her mum, far from it, she truly is thankful for her present. But she had so very much wanted something else…
Later, after breakfast and opening more presents, Yoohyeon takes a moment to shed a few tears alone in her room. She feels terribly stupid for crying over a doll, she's basically an adult for crying out loud, and it's one little Christmas present. Nothing to cry about at all. She got plenty other gifts that she loved, and feels foolish and ungrateful for being so upset about the doll. She looks up at where she put it, on the shelf next to the rest of her collection. It blends in perfectly with the other beautiful porcelain dolls, but it just doesn't seem right. It's not the one she wished for.
Yoohyeon tries to forget about the gift and enjoy the rest of Christmas Day with her family, and when she goes to bed that evening, she looks at the blonde doll and wishes that it had black hair instead. She falls asleep and dreams of the most beautiful obsidian haired doll with red lips and a midnight blue dress. That night, something magical happens…
The next morning, Yoohyeon wakes with a strange feeling. Something is different. Her eyes immediately seek out the blonde doll on the shelf. But the doll is gone. In its place is the most beautiful doll Yoohyeon has seen in her life. Porcelain skin artfully painted with rosy cheeks, dark eyes that seem to sparkle despite the dim lighting, a gorgeous Victorian dress in a blue so dark it looks black in the folds. And most amazingly, hair black as coal.
Yoohyeon leaps out of bed, quickly walking across the floor towards the shelf. She carefully lifts the doll from the shelf and holds it in her arms. It truly is the most beautiful doll she has ever seen. The fabric of the dress is so soft, and the black curls are like silk. Yoohyeon can't stop smiling. At the same time she wonders terribly what has happened.
She finds her mum in the kitchen, but she seems as surprised as Yoohyeon and swears she knows nothing about the new doll nor the disappearance of the blonde one. Perhaps it's magic, she says. Yoohyeon wonders if it might just be, but somehow she finds she doesn't care that much. She's just so incredibly happy about her new doll.
Most of the day is spent with the doll, who she decides to name Mirabelle. She usually doesn't name her porcelain dolls; they're not dolls for playing after all, they're mostly decorative collectables, but it just feels right. There's something almost alive about her sparkling dark eyes. Yoohyeon brushes her hair, careful as to not ruin the perfect curls, she straightens her dress a hundred times, cleans her face, "polishes" her shoes with a small cloth, and gives her a new place on the desk. She is far too special to stand with her other dolls.
Yoohyeon even digs out a shoebox from her closet and makes a bed for Mirabelle with one of her big scarves bundled up as a mattress and a pillowcase for a blanket. Mirabelle, of course, deserves a much better place to sleep, but all the doll beds that exists in the house are occupied by her siblings' dolls.
In the afternoon she tucks her in, saying, "Goodnight Mirabelle," and stroking her hair gently. Then, the doll looks her straight in the eyes, opens her mouth, and says: "Mirabelle isn't my name, where did you get that? My name is Minji." Yoohyeon stares. The doll sits up straight in her bed and pushes the pillowcase-blanket away. "And it's not even night, it's barely four p.m.," she adds.
"You're talking," Yoohyeon says, dumbly.
"Yes, that's quite obvious, don't you think?" Mirabelle, or Minji , says. "You know, I really appreciate this bed, although a real bed would be ideal. I know that can be hard to come by, so thank you. Still, it would be great if you didn't try to tuck me in or anything before it's even dark."
"Of course," Yoohyeon says, too stunned to say anything else. What do you say when your doll suddenly comes to life?
"Thank you," Minji says. "I like you room. It's pretty. It'll be great living here." It's a tinge of sadness in her voice, but it's so small that Yoohyeon thinks she might have imagined it.
"Thanks," Yoohyeon says. "Make yourself at home. Do you, er, know if any of my other dolls talk?
"No, I don't think so," Minji says. "They are just ordinary dolls."
"And you're not an ordinary doll?"
"No," Minji sighs. "Afraid not." The tinge of sadness is back, and Yoohyeon is sure she doesn't imagine it this time.
"What's wrong?" she asks.
"Nothing," Minji says. She walks around a bit, looking around Yoohyeon's room.
"How did you get here?" Yoohyeon asks, deciding to change the subject.
"Santa Claus brought me. He is terribly sorry about the mistake yesterday, by the way, and he wants you to know that it wasn't at all on purpose. He's just really busy, and sometimes the wishlists get mixed up." Minji stops at Yoohyeon's bookshelf and curiously peeks at some of the titles.
"Oh," Yoohyeon says. She suddenly wonders if she's dreaming.
"He sends his sincerest apologies," Minji stresses.
"That's alright," Yoohyeon assures her, or maybe she's assuring herself. Assuring herself that she's not crazy. "Why is it, that you can talk and all? How come you're not just an ordinary doll?" She wants to know if there's at least some logical explanation for this.
"I couldn't tell you," Minji says.
"I want to know," Yoohyeon says.
"It's a terribly boring story," Minji insists.
"I really want to hear it."
"Alright. But you'll have to wait till after dark. I'll tell you then."
In the evening, after supper, Yoohyeon goes up to her room, ready to hear Minji's story. But Minji is nowhere to be seen. "Minji?" Yoohyeon calls out.
"I'm here," comes her voice from Yoohyeon's closet.
"Why are you hiding in the closet—" Yoohyeon begins, but halts when the mirrored sliding door slides open. Out of the closet steps a woman with jet black hair and sparkling dark eyes. Yoohyeon has never seen this woman before in her life, but she instantly recognises her. It's Minji.
"I'm sorry about hiding," Minji says. Her voice sounds exactly the same. "I was worried you would think me an intruder if I was just sitting on your bed."
"Don't worry about it…" Yoohyeon says, stunned almost to speechlessness for the second time that day.
Minji sits on the bed, and Yoohyeon slowly walks over and sits next to her. Her dress is the same Victorian midnight blue one, strikingly similar, only human sized. Yoohyeon wonders if she wears it because she's actually from the Victorian era, and that she has been a doll for more than a century. That would be horrible.
"You see, I'm actually just a normal person," Minji begins. "Just like you. Except for this terrible curse. I honestly have no idea what happened. I just woke up one day and was a doll. It was actually Christmas Morning. At night I'm myself. Santa Claus has tried to help me, but I don't know if anything can turn me back. Now I'm just accustomed to it, really."
She looks down at her hands, and Yoohyeon reaches over to grab one of them with her own. "How old are you?" she asks, but what she really means is, How long have you been like this?
"I'm twenty," Minji says, giving Yoohyeon a small smile.
"How long have you been twenty?" Yoohyeon asks.
"Oh, not too long," Minji says. "It's not as bad as it seems, really. It's only been two years. But two years is a terribly long time to live as a doll. I can barely move properly, I can't do anything that requires more that standing and sitting. There's no one to talk to. I think Santa sent me here because he thought I could be happy. He said you wanted someone like me more than anything in the world, and that you were a great person. I would have someone to talk to… Everything would be great. Honestly I think it means he's given up on me. That he figured this was the best life I could get. Don't get me wrong." She smiles at Yoohyeon. "You really are great. And I love your house. But I wish I could have more than that…" She sighs. "See? Told you it was boring."
Yoohyeon pushes aside all thoughts about talking dolls, curses, Santa Claus seeming more and more like a real person, and the fact that there now is a stranger in her room; not just a talking doll, a whole person, living and breathing. "It's not boring at all," she says. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"I don't think so," Minji says. "Maybe lend me some clothes? This is all I have."
Yoohyeon gives her a t-shirt and sweatpants, which Minji seems to greatly appreciate. Without the doll-like dress she looks even more human, but Yoohyeon can't help but think she's still the most beautiful woman she has ever seen. At least she isn't actually Victorian; it's just the dress. She seems much more comfortable in Yoohyeon's clothes.
"Would you like to go somewhere?" Yoohyeon asks. The night is after all the only time Minji can do what she wants and go where she wants. She can be away all night, only coming back to Yoohyeon's room at dawn and resuming her limited doll life during the day. Yoohyeon wouldn't mind one bit. She finds she just wants Minji to be happy.
"Thanks for asking, but maybe tomorrow," Minji says, smiling. Yoohyeon wants to see her smile one day without melancholy. She wonders what her laugh sounds like. "Honestly I'm quite tired," Minji continues. "I probably need to sleep. Sadly I can't seem to fall asleep as a doll during the day, so I have to spend a lot of my human time asleep."
Yoohyeon suspects there's many other things she rather wants to do in the little time she has as herself. Not only must she spend half her time as a doll, but she is forced to give up most of her precious normal time. Then she remembers something. "I don't really have anything else than this bed…" she says awkwardly.
"I don't mind sharing," Minji says. "I would hate to be of inconvenience though, I'm sure I can just—"
"No! It's fine," Yoohyeon assures her. "Sharing is good."
They lie next to each other in Yoohyeon's bed, quiet and sleepy. Minji looks even more beautiful up close. "You're not of inconvenience at all, you know," Yoohyeon whispers. "Santa was right, I did want someone like you more than anything."
"You wanted a doll," Minji reminds her, laughing quietly.
"Yes. But I got so much more," Yoohyeon mutters. Her eyelids are already so heavy. "I got you. You're better than any doll…" The last part is barely audible, and she's asleep a moment later.
Yoohyeon wakes up on December twenty-seventh, and the night before rushes back to her. "Minji?" she groggily calls out, her eyes immediately searching for the other girl. She’s not next to her anymore, and Yoohyeon gets out of bed and looks about her room. A black haired doll sits on her desk.
"I don’t know what I expected," Minji says quietly, looking at her from atop the desk. "I’m always like this when I wake up, but for some reason I expected this morning to be different."
"We’ll figure it out," Yoohyeon says. She sits by the desk in front of Minji and leans her chin in her hands.
"I’m sure," Minji says, but her voice is sad. Her porcelain face has no expression, but it’s like her glassy eyes are filled with a sorrow Yoohyeon can’t understand.
Yoohyeon grasps Minji’s porcelain hand in her own. "We will."
Night falls again. Yoohyeon has been away most of the day, dragged away for family dinner at her aunt and uncle’s. She almost took Minji with her, but her mum insisted it would be odd to bring her doll, no matter how amazing a doll it is.
When they come back, Yoohyeon rushes back to her room where she finds Minji standing in the middle of the floor. She’s wearing a pair of Yoohyeon’s jeans and the same t-shirt she was wearing yesterday. "I borrowed some more of your clothes," she says, clasping her hands in front of her. "I hope it’s alright."
"You look amazing," Yoohyeon blurts. "I mean, yeah, sure. They suit you."
Minji beams. "Thank you. I was thinking, maybe we could go somewhere? You offered yesterday, so I thought..." She looks unsure.
"Yes!" Yoohyeon says, more enthusiastically than intended. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Anywhere," Minji says. "I’ll go anywhere with you." She smiles, and it’s almost pure joy.
Yoohyeon smiles back widely, saying, "Alright. Let’s go then."
They quietly tiptoe downstairs. "Wait here," Yoohyeon says to Minji, leaving her in the hall. She walks through the living room, finding no one. Her siblings are already in bed, and she peaks into the kitchen. "I’m going out for a bit," she informs her parents who are sitting by the kitchen table.
Back in the hall, she asks Minji: "What size shoes do you wear?"
Minji’s already picked up a pair from the rack. "Same as you," she smiles.
"Here." Yoohyeon hands her a coat. "It's pretty cold out."
They step outside in the cold winter night, and Minji’s eyes shine in the light of the streetlamps. In a bold move, Yoohyeon takes her hand. Minji smiles at her, eyes crinkling. They just walk around in the streets, looking at the Christmas lights on all the houses, talking about everything and nothing. Peeking into the occasional dark shop window. Almost everything is closed at this hour, but Yoohyeon locates a café that is open till midnight, and she drags Minji inside with her. "You want anything?" she asks.
"Sure," Minji says, joining her in looking at the display.
"Do you ever eat anything?" Yoohyeon suddenly remembers to ask, having wondered before. Dolls can't eat anything, and Minji is only human by night...
"I can," Minji says. "But I don't think I need to. I don't feel hunger or tiredness as a doll, and when I'm myself it just feels like any other night. As if I lived a normal life and ate during the day. It's like nothing's different. I'm mostly just sleepy." She sounds partly sad, as she always does, but mostly tired. As if she's used to it, but wishes she wasn't. "I'm not sleepy now, though," she adds.
"Really? How do you feel now?" Yoohyeon asks.
"Alive," Minji says, looking at Yoohyeon with shiny eyes.
"Me too," Yoohyeon whispers. She feels like Minji's magical eyes see straight into her soul. "...do you want hot chocolate?" she eventually asks.
"Yeah, that'd be great," Minji says.
They sit by a small table, drinking their chocolate and talking about whatever comes to mind. Minji talks about her normal life before, about her studies and her apartment and her friends, about her drawings and her favourite hair salon. They pretend everything is normal, that they're just two people on a late evening date, enjoying the holidays. Yoohyeon tells Minji about what university she's planning to attend next year, what her favourite film is, what colours she wants to dye her hair. Outside, people are still walking about; it's barely eleven p.m. and there's plenty of life. They make up stories about the people they see, imagining what they have in their shopping bags. It's nice.
After finishing their chocolate, they step outside again. Just then, it starts to snow. Big, white flakes cling to Minji's black hair, and she lifts her hand to feel them against her skin.
"You look like an angel," Yoohyeon says, and she doesn't at all regret being so forward when she sees Minji's bright smile.
A snowflake lands on Yoohyeon's nose, and Minji reaches out to brush it away. She also brushes a few strands of hair away from her face, stroking the back of her hand against her cheek in the process. "You don’t look so bad yourself," she says, laughing breathily. "I really like you. I'm glad you were the one I was sent to."
"Me too," Yoohyeon says, her heart beating fast. "You're the best Christmas present I've ever got."
Minji laughs and grasps Yoohyeon's hand in her own. "That's good," she says. "I would hate to come second to an ugly Christmas sweater."
"You're not second to anything," Yoohyeon says.
They stay out for a couple more hours, till their feet are tired and their minds are sleepy.
The next morning Minji is once again a doll.
They do the same thing the next few days. During the day, Yoohyeon stays with Minji as much as she can, and at night, they go out, walking, talking, holding hands and doing whatever they wish. They explore more night-open places and sneak into the back of the cinema to watch late night screenings. Once, they almost got a noise complaint because they were having a snowball fight in the park at one a.m. "Thank you," Minji says one time. "For making me forget about it all."
It's the morning of New Years Eve. "I wonder if I'll ever see the sun again through my own eyes," Minji says, looking out the window. Her body is once more made of porcelain.
"We'll figure it out," Yoohyeon says. They don't often talk about it, but sometimes. It's hard to avoid. "Let's do something special."
"What do you mean?"
"It's New Years Eve. Let's do something special tonight."
"Okay. What do you have in mind?"
Yoohyeon smiles. "Maybe it's a surprise," she says.
"Alright," Minji says, a smile in her voice. "Can't wait."
Yoohyeon tells her parents she's going to a party with some friends, which they don't seem to question, and she leaves at around ten with a bag in one hand and Minji's hand in the other. She sometimes thinks about how her parents have no idea that another person is living in their house, but now is not the time to think about that.
They walk a few blocks hand in hand, and Minji sometimes curiously peeks at the bag hanging at Yoohyeon's shoulder. "A hotel?" she asks when Yoohyeon finally stops.
"Yep," Yoohyeon grins, clearly proud of herself. "I made sure the room has a balchony, so we can watch the fireworks. Come on."
Minji follows her into the hotel, towards the front desk where they get a key, and then to the elevator. It stops at the sixth floor.
The room is alright, but Yoohyeon doesn't really care about the room; she only cares about Minji. She's come to like her so incredibly much these past few days, and catches herself longing for her even when she's right in front of her. She wonders if Minji feels the same.
"This is great," Minji says. "What did you bring?"
Yoohyeon opens the bag. "Here," she says and hands Minji a heap of fabric. It's one of her own dresses, a black one with silver sequins.
"This is why you asked me earlier which of your dresses I liked best?" Minji says, holding the dress up in front of her.
"Yep," Yoohyeon says. "I thought we could dress up, since it's such a special occasion." She's brought a sparkly dark green dress for herself.
"That sounds wonderful," Minji says, and Yoohyeon beams at her response.
After changing into their dresses, they take turns curling each other hair—with the help of Minji’s skilled hands, Yoohyeon’s turns out far better than Minji’s, but Minji swears she doesn’t mind. Quite satisfied with the result, she moves it back with some pins and lets her hands fall through the waves. "I love your silver hair," she says. "It’s very festive."
"Thanks," Yoohyeon replies shyly. "You know I love your hair colour."
"As I recall, the hair was my most significant quality," Minji says.
"It was, when I thought you were just a doll," Yoohyeon says, resisting the urge to lean into the hand Minji still has in her hair.
"Hm. What is it now?" Minji asks.
Yoohyeon doesn’t have to think before answering. "Your smile. It’s the most beautiful smile in the world." She worries for a second that she has said too much, that she’s being too forward, but then she recalls Minji’s smile when she said she looked like an angel. She can’t deny that her feelings for Minji have started to move past plain friendship, they have been moving for quite some time, but she still has doubts about Minji’s own feelings. Their intertwined hands, the brushes of skin, the smiles and the pretty words, what do they mean? Could it be that these are only gestures of friendship from Minji’s side? And is she even interested in a relationship with anyone, living her cursed life?
But then Minji says: "I can think of one smile that is more beautiful." She smiles, seems almost shy. Then Yoohyeon is almost sure.
"Do you want to dance?" she asks. "It’s still a while till midnight."
"Sure," Minji says, and takes the hand Yoohyeon offers.
There’s no music. The only sound Yoohyeon hears besides her own high pulse in her head, is Minji’s steady breathing in her ear. They are so incredibly close, and though Minji’s breathing pattern is calm, Yoohyeon can feel her heart against the hand she has on her back, and it’s beating as fast as her own.
Here, in the dimly lit hotel room, in the deafening silence, as they move quietly about the room, Yoohyeon dares to say it. It’s but a murmur, but loud and clear in their quiet closeness. "I think I’m falling in love with you."
Minji looks at her with starry eyes. "Me too," she whispers.
Yoohyeon doesn’t know who moved first, and doesn’t care either, because her lips meet Minji’s soft ones in a magical moment. Her lips are cold, and Yoohyeon tightens her arms around her, wanting to keep her warm.
"Wow," she breathes, lost for intelligent words. Minji’s expression is one of happiness, and something unreadable. "What are you thinking?"
"I’m thinking that I want to kiss you again," Minji says. "And that I want to kiss you tomorrow when we wake up." She looks down. "I’m sorry for ruining the moment. It was perfect, but I can’t stop thinking about..."
"You didn’t ruin it," Yoohyeon insists, cupping Minji’s face in her hand. Her cheek is wet with tears. "If anything you made it more meaningful. But let's try not to think about it. We still have all night."
Minji nods, leaning into her touch and smiling wetly up at her. "Yes. We still have all night."
They kiss again, many, many times and Yoohyeon loses count, but it doesn’t matter. She can’t get enough of the feeling of Minji’s lips against her own; against her cheeks, her hair, her hands, her neck. She’s bubbling over with feelings, overjoyed that Minji loves her back and completely in awe of the woman who seems to become more beautiful with every passing second.
At midnight, they watch the fireworks from the balcony. It’s freezing, but they hold each other close and warm each other on kisses and hot words whispered against cold skin.
Later, they fall into the warm bed and talk for hours. At some point they shed their clothes and crawl under the covers, and Yoohyeon isn’t even self conscious about her almost-nakedness because she feels it just brings them closer together. Honestly, she wants them to be as close as they can be, not caring that they shared their first kiss only hours ago.
It feels like they have all the time in the world, while at the same time it’s their last night together on Earth. They both know what will inevitably happen in just a few hours, and Yoohyeon knows that Minji will be herself again tomorrow night, but the thought of not feeling her body heat against her skin or her hands in her hair for a whole day... It feels unbearable. She’s determined to get as much time with human Minji as possible, but it’s nearing five a.m. and sleep is pulling at her.
"We should sleep a little," Minji yawns, and it’s the cutest yawn in the world.
"Probably," Yoohyeon says reluctantly. They lie side by side, as close as possible, with the covers pulled up to their chins. Yoohyeon is resting her head on Minji’s shoulder.
"Kiss me again," Minji says. "Before we wake up and I’ll have to wait for hours and hours."
Yoohyeon tilts her head up and catches Minji’s lips with her own, trying not to think about how long she’ll have to wait to do it again.
When Yoohyeon wakes up, it’s so light out that it has to be almost midday. The sunlight flowing through the window makes her smile, but her heart sinks when she realises Minji—the real Minji, her Minji—must be gone hours ago.
But then her hand brushes soft, warm skin, and she startles, suddenly wide awake. She turns away from the sunlight and is met with something much brighter: Minji’s brilliant smile. There’s no sadness in it now, only joy, love and lots of relief. Relief that’s been waiting a long time. Excitement bursting in her eyes.
"You’re here," Yoohyeon gasps in wonder.
"I’m here," Minji says, her hands finding Yoohyeon’s under the covers.
"How?" Yoohyeon can’t help but ask.
"No idea," Minji says. "But I know it’s because of you." Her smile softens, and she lifts a hand to run her fingers through Yoohyeon’s still wavy hair. "I guess my wish came true after all," she says.
"What wish?" Yoohyeon asks.
"That I get to kiss you when we wake up."
Fin.