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Thirteen years. That’s how long she has been here. Thirteen years since she fell off her horse and blacked out. She didn’t know if she dreamed that she hit her head on a boulder or not. She was either laying in a coma in a hospital somewhere and this was an extremely vivid dream or she had really died and somehow the afterlife was life on other planets.
No, not just any galaxy. Fucking Star Wars.
She has to admit she had never seen anything even related to the franchise. It was kind of obvious about two years ago when the troopers came from nowhere and the Jedi suddenly became war generals.
She watched the news. She wasn’t a total idiot. It was just… wasn’t the main character supposed to be Luke Skywalker and weren’t the stormtroopers bad guys?
Maybe she was in some backward version of it where Luke’s name was Anakin and the stormtroopers were good. Where was Darth Vader, though? Wasn’t he a big important part of this too?
Thirteen years. Her twenty-sixth birthday just passed this year.
Why was she here? Was this really the afterlife?
That warm soothing presence she had felt since the moment she opened her eyes in a back alley on Coruscant swelled up around her.
That was another thing. She had some kind of gift or something because there was this… ghost-like… thing that was always around her. It wasn’t a bad thing. It helped her. Showed her what to do and where to steer clear of. It was the whole reason she was where she was now.
She was Christina Swift. Singer and entertainer for the masses. It was pure luck and the Presence that led her to the right spot at the right time to play for a bigwig for a music label. Within the month she went from living in hostels to near senator-style living.
Her apartment wasn’t as high in the clouds nor as fancy as the senators of the Republic but she was still fairly close to them. Her music was a big hit. Her agent claimed it was new and fresh and something never heard of before.
In reality, she was copywriting a lot of songs from her homeworld.
Her mother had a wide taste in music so growing up she heard everything. From country to rap she knew a lot of songs. It sometimes brought tears to her eyes when she played songs in her studio. Music was a love that she and her mother shared.
She wondered how her mother was coping with her being gone.
She shook herself. No more sad thoughts. She was here now and that wasn’t about to change.
She stood up when the sad thoughts kept intruding. A drive. Maybe that was what she needed.
*****
She climbed behind the wheel of her non-flashy speeder. It was a nicer model but not so flashy it screamed who she was. She tucked her colored streaked hair under a cap and put on a pair of sunglasses to hide her eyes. Her disguise set, she backed out of the tower she parked her speeders in, and drove it towards the main lanes.
Let her make something clear. Driving a speeder was like a mix between a car and a plane. It took her several tries and multiple lessons to get the hang of it. She finally managed it after the instructor told her that she had trouble because her reflexes were too fast.
She enjoyed the freedom that knowing how to drive gave her. She just drifted with traffic. She didn’t realize it but she was dipping into the Presence to guide her motions.
She came to a stop on a lower level. This was where she was meant to be. She could feel it.
She parked in the nearest parking space and began to walk. The cool air brushed against her cheeks.
The Presence led her to a busy bar. 79’s was scrawled across the sign in faded neon light. People moved in and out of the entrance laughing loudly and talking eagerly.
She stepped closer and froze. These were troopers. Why had the Presence led her to a trooper bar?
She knew to never ignore what the Presence told her. She squared her shoulders and stepped through the door.
Loud was her first thought. The noise came from everywhere. From the bar where troopers and other people called for drinks from the bartender to the wide-open space where people could try their luck at dancing, to the booths along the back where men talked and laughed and shouted at each other over the backs of the seats.
She held back a wince. She was severely out of place here. She turned around to leave but bumped into some troopers who were blocking her way.
The crowd was thick and she scanned for an available spot to sit where she can wait out the mess of people. All spots were taken. There was one that only had one trooper there.
She frowned. One was better than a bunch. She made her way over. “Is this spot taken?”
The trooper was sitting sprawled out in the booth. His face and body were angled to the wall so she could only see half his face. His armor was white and grey with cool designs on it.
“You can sit for now.” He shrugged at her.
She sighed in relief and sat down opposite him. “Thanks so much. It’s a little crowded here.”
Her table companion wasn’t very talkative. She tried to make small talk for a while but when she only got grunts and shrugs in response she gave up. She sat in silence with the unnamed trooper and watched the crowd.
She spotted different colors of armor in the mess of people. Blue and grey were pretty prominent. There was some red and purple and a bit of green. One table had a group of ten blues that were doing shots and chanting as one trooper drank a tall glass of something.
The trooper in the booth with her followed her gaze. He shook his head and muttered something under his breath. At first, she thought she was hearing things but quickly realized it was in a completely different language.
Music played over the speakers. One song drifted into the next before a familiar strain of notes began playing. It was her song Dangerous. Well, not her song. The original credit goes to Shinedown.
She saw the trooper she was with flinch before glaring at the music stand in the corner.
“Not a fan of Christina Swift.” She tried for light and teasing.
The trooper had never turned away from where he was sitting. He shot her a side-eyed glare. “No. I’m not.”
She couldn’t help but get a little offended. “Why not?” She demanded. “I get that some people have different likes and dislikes but it seems to me that you actively hate her. What did she ever do to you?”
That seemed to tick against a nerve in the trooper before her. He glared at her and she narrowed her eyes back.
“Because she doesn’t know what it means to live day in and day out fighting for her life. It’s people like her that really tick me off in the way they talk about stuff like being dangerous or fighting but they don’t know what it’s truly like.” The trooper gestures around the room. “Look at us. My brothers and I fight every day for this Republic and yet they treat us like this. We are nothing more than flesh droids to them but every day I see my brothers die for them and they couldn’t care less.”
She widened her eyes as what he spoke so passionately about hit her. She had no clue that it was this bad for them.
“Maybe some people just don’t know.” She countered. “Maybe some of us are so blinded by what the media tells us that they just don’t see it. Not everyone comes down here to interact with you guys.”
That brought the trooper up short. He blinked at her with his left side still facing the wall. “Maybe some people just don’t care about us.”
“You’re right.” She conceded that point. “Maybe some people don’t care. But some people have never seen it. There are two sides to this. Your side and our side. On your side, you see the nitty-gritty, the darkness, and the realness of it all. You live day in and day out in the trenches. But then you have us. The ones who aren’t there so we rely on what the media tells us. To be honest, there will never be a reporter willing to be in an active firefight. To be willing to tell it like it is. So yeah, the masses are lied to. We believe the lies that we are told because we don’t want to believe otherwise.”
The trooper stares at her in shock. He spins to face her head-on. His gaze is steely as he looks at her with a new interest. “I’m Wolffe.”
She gives her real name with an easy smile. She didn’t flinch or gasp at the glowing blue cybernetic eye on the left side of his face. Or at the deep scar, she saw either.
****
Time passes as she gets into a lively debate with Wolffe about a lot of subjects. Wolffe was very opinionated and she enjoyed the verbal sparring.
Wolffe slowly relaxes over the course of their time together. They steer clear of personal subjects but they talk about everything from the treatment of the soldiers to their opinion on the views of the Chancellor to their favorite Jedi Generals.
“Oh come on, Skywalker doesn’t count. Everybody loves him and Kenobi. They are disqualified. Pick someone else. There’s General Koon.” Wolffe smirked at her with wide eyes.
“General Windu.” She decides after a bit of thought.
Wolffe chokes on his drink. “What? Why?”
She grins back at him. “One… from what I have seen, he is a badass. And two… I do love purple.”
Wolffe shakes his head. “Disgraceful. That’s what you are. Disgraceful.”
She tossed her head back in laughter and that’s when she saw it. A group of four watching their table avidly and whispering to each other. Three were troopers. One in blue, one in purple, and one in red. The last was a woman who was pressed up against the blue trooper’s side.
“Who are they?” She nods her head at the people watching the two of them.
Wolffe flicks his gaze over at them and back to her. He shrugs his shoulders. “Those are the people I’m here to meet with.”
She suddenly realizes how she had taken up all his time and attention when he was supposed to be out with friends. “I’m sorry. I can go now.”
“No, no. It’s fine. Those shabuire can wait.” Wolffe’s smile hardened into a half-feral grin that looked one thousand times more natural on his face.
The woman seemed to be edging closer to their table. The blue trooper pulled her back.
She was unsure but turned back to face Wolffe. She opened her mouth to continue their talk but her comlink chimes with a message from her agent.
“Fuck.” She cursed. “I completely forgot about that. I’m sorry, Wolffe, but I really have to…” She narrowed her eyes. “Why are you smirking?”
Wolffe laughed and shook his head. “You cursing is funny. Copikla.” He says the word with a wry twist of his lips.
She pursed her lips. “I can’t tell if you are making fun of me or not.” Her comlink chirps again. “Shit. I really have to go. It was nice talking with you, Wolffe. I really enjoyed it.” She gathered her things. She purposely ignored the snickers coming from the trooper in front of her. “I’ll see you around?”
“Sure, Copikla. Have a good night.” Wolffe gave her a two-fingered salute as she headed off into the crowd of people.
She stopped by the bar on her way out with a smirk on her face. If it so happened that four eavesdropping people got a free shot called a kamikaze and one grey armored man got one called a gladiator then that was the bar being nice. It had nothing to do with her.
She slipped from the bar as her commlink beeped once more. Fuck. Her agent was going to kill her.
****
In the two days since her trip to the bar, an idea hit her. She couldn’t get her mind off her and Wolffe’s debate on the treatment of the troopers. Her own words about the media lying to the masses and people not caring were heavy in her head.
A nudge from the Presence and she knew what she had to do.
She decided to take a direct approach. The problem was, people didn’t want to know. She was nearly laughed out of her record label when she brought it up to her agent.
Her agent laughed loudly as she had just told the funniest joke. When her agent realized she was dead serious they cleared their throat before shooting her a condescending look. “Christina, we are not a news station. We do music, not reports on the war. You could sell your story to the news but honestly, no one will believe you or want to read it when you are making things up. Cheer up, Christina. We do have that gala coming up for the release of your new album. I do love your music. It’s so refreshing. Wherever you come up with such wonderful songs must be a great place.”
Her attempt was dismissed as nothing more than her naivety acting up again.
She took the hint. It wasn’t welcome there but an idea formed in her mind about another try. She needed to contact a discreet dressmaker and some other details needed to be worked on but she had time. She had two whole months to work on it.
Currently, it is autumn.
Autumn on Coruscant was not like back home. Sure it got colder but there were no leaves changing their colors. There was no grass dying in preparation for winter. There was no Starbucks with its pumpkin spiced lattes or salted caramel mocha frappuccinos.
It was the thirteenth fall since she came here and when she had a craving almost nothing satisfied it. There was only one place that came close.
She was just stepping out of the shop with her coffee. She entered the crowded streets and was moving towards the park when a figure made her pause. She thought she recognized the white and grey armored man that was walking into the park about twenty feet in front of her.
“Wolffe?” She called out hopefully.
The one thing she regretted from that night was not getting his comlink number. She was alone most of her time with no true friends and having that conversation with Wolffe was the most invigorating thing she had ever experienced in this universe.
The trooper halted before turning around.
“I knew it was you.” She beamed a smile and stepped closer to him.
“How did you know?” Wolffe’s voice came out a little deeper because of his helmet. His helmet... where a gorgeous stylized wolf was snarling out at the world.
“Hm? That wolf is amazing.” She stared at it a bit longer before his question registered. “Oh. I had a feeling.” She deflected neatly. She told no one about the Presence and she wasn’t going to start now. “What are you doing out here? Going for an evening walk?”
Wolffe’s fingers twitched before he turned to face back the way they came. “It’s dangerous out here. Can I walk you to your speeder?”
She narrowed her eyes and cautiously poked at the Presence with her mind. She kept her face straight as a fierce warning made her change her mind about a walk. “Sure. It’s just a little down this way.”
The walk was silent for a while.
“You said you had a feeling it was me.” Wolffe prodded. “I’m one of the millions just like me. How could you know it was me? I could have been anyone.”
She sighed. “You really are going to push this, aren’t you?”
Expectant silence was her answer.
“I had hoped it was you.” She admitted. They were at her speeder when she paused. Something in his tone rubbed her the wrong way. “Wolffe? You are one in a million to me.”
“Why do you care? Why do you even bother? I’m just a clone. Nobody truly cares about us.” Wolffe growled out in agitation.
There it was. The root of the problem.
“I care. I care because no matter where you came from, you are people. Not flesh droids. Not copies of someone else. Each of you has your own style, your own personality, your own beliefs and opinions, and hobbies you love to do. You may look alike but you all are original where it counts. I don’t care about what you look like on the outside. I care about what’s in here and here.” She tapped her fingers to the center of his chest plate and the wolf on the top of his helmet.
While Wolffe is stunned she digs in her bag for a scrap of paper and a pen. All she can find is an old receipt for her favorite coffee shop. She quickly wrote out her com number.
“Here.” She holds the receipt out to him. “My personal com number. Call me if you like. I really enjoyed our talk the other night.”
Wolffe took the paper. A grey and white armored trooper ran up to them. This one had the same wolf design on his shoulder piece.
“Commander. Ma’am.” The trooper nodded his head at her. “The General is waiting for you at the position.”
“I’ll be right there.” Wolffe waved off the trooper.
The man moved about ten paces away before impatiently waiting.
“You better go.” She leaned up and hugged a stiff Wolffe. “Remember, you are one in a million.” She stepped into her speeder and started the engine.
“Mesh’la?” Wolffe leaned over the edge. He had taken his helmet off so she was looking right into his beautiful eyes. One blue. One honey-colored. He looked like he wanted to say something important. “Thanks. I’ll see you around?”
She smiled. “I’ll be seeing you, Commander Wolffe.” She drove off into the night, leaving behind a confused and stunned Wolffe.
Who was this woman who cared so deeply for him and his brothers?
Wolffe stuffed the slip of flimsy into his belt pouch. He hoped he didn’t lose it. He was hooked and wanted to know more.
Who was she and how could he find out more?
*****
It was a week before she heard from Wolffe. She was working on practicing some songs from her new album. She strummed her space-like guitar. It was a little different from an Earth guitar. Her one back home she had named Jasmine after her favorite fictional princess. This one she called Spacy.
Her week had been busy finding that dressmaker and with appointments to take measurements for dress fittings. It was mixed in with stops by her record label laying the groundwork for a masquerade theme party. She hadn’t completely sold them but she was working on it.
It was late at night when he called. She had just finished the last chords to Perfect by Ed Sheeran when the tone for her personal comlink went off. Only two people had that number. Her agent and Wolffe.
She scrambled for her handmade knitted hat and glasses. She quickly tucked her hair up and plopped the dark lenses over her eyes. She pressed the answer button at the last minute.
“Hello?” She greeted.
“I thought you weren’t going to answer.” That was Wolffe’s greeting.
“I needed a moment.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “How are things going over there?”
Wolffe eyed her warily but allowed the subject to change. “I shipped out. I’m not on Coruscant.”
“Oh?” She settled on her couch with her feet tucked up under her. “I’ve barely been off Coruscant since I moved here. The only other planet I have been to was Alderaan. The Senator had invited me out for one of his niece’s birthdays.”
She closed her mouth quickly. Damn. She almost gave away who she was.
Wolffe’s eyebrows rose. “You must be very rich to have friends like the Senator of Alderaan.”
“Mildly.” She hid a flinch. Fuck fuck fuck. She was fucking this up royally. “Look. I am rich. I live in a fairly large and nice apartment. I do the occasional favor for some senators. But what I said to you is true. I do care and you are one in a million.”
Wolffe frowned. “I don’t get that phrase. One in a million. What does that even mean? It sounds like you are calling me one of a million.”
She smiled brightly. “Just the opposite actually. One in a million means there can be a million copies of you but only one of what makes you… you. Do you get it?”
“Sort of?” Wolffe’s words were slow to come. “Do you mean there can be a million of us but only one me?”
Her smile grew. “Exactly. There’s only one of you.” A word floated to her mind. “Rare. That’s what it means. You’re rare because of what makes you, you.”
“I think I like that.”
A comfortable silence fell between the two of them.
“Want to play a game?” She settled more comfortably on her couch and pulled a blanket over her legs.
“What kind of game?” Wolffe’s end shifted like he too was getting comfortable.
“It’s called Favorite Questions. We have ten questions we can ask about our favorite things. Like a favorite flower, favorite color, favorite drink, things like that. When one person says one we both have to answer.” She waited patiently for his response.
“I don’t know if I have a favorite food.” Wolffe sounded unsure.
“I’ll be honest, I’ve never had a nerf burger either. I’ve never had a nerf at all.” She could see Wolffe’s curiosity. “I’m not someone who only eats vegetables or doesn’t eat meat at all. I eat fish and Nuna, it's just… I don’t like nerfs.”
Their talking fell flat.
“We can start with what’s your favorite color?” She fiddled with the knitted blanket on her lap.
“Orange. I never truly saw orange until I left Kamino.” Wolffe admitted.
And their conversation was off. They talked about favorite seasons, favorite drinks it turned into the drinks she bought for his table that night and into other subjects.
She fell asleep first, still on the com with him. Her hat was still on and her glasses were resting on her nose. She woke with a crick in her neck and a smile on her face.
Things were looking up.
*****
Over the next two months in the time before her gala, Wolffe had called at least once a week. At first, they talked about little things but one evening they pushed into a deeper subject.
She deflected about some stuff but she was honest with what she did share. She told him she was raised on a farm. (True). She told him she loved animals. (Also true). She told him that she loved music (Again. True).
What she didn’t tell him was what she did for a living or what her homeworld was called exactly or about the Presence she knew about and helped her with things.
The time for her gala came nearer and nearer. It was in ads on the street, on the holonet, everywhere she turned they were hyping about her newest album.
Tickets were being sold out. The senator from Naboo bought twenty of them with the senator from Pantora and they raffled them at a charity event.
It was a black-tie affair and she did succeed in the masquerade theme. She sold it to her agent by describing a far-fetched romance plot straight from an Earth-style trashy romance novel.
Everything was set for that night. She had her surprise dress. She had her backup dress. She had her mask sorted. Everything was ready, she was just… not sure about this.
The perfect encouragement came from her personal com ringing half an hour before she had to start getting ready.
She answered it with a smaller grin than normal. “Hello, Wolffe.”
“Hey, Mesh’la. What are you up tonight?” Wolffe greeted her with as much happiness as he ever showed.
She had learned to read the little things about him. The tones of his voice, the way he subtly cared for all his brothers, the guard he kept up from something in his past hurting him deeply.
Wolffe only called her by her birth name a few times since she had known him. Like she can count on one hand how many times. Most of the time it was either Mesh’la or Copikla. She tried saying the names but she couldn’t get the accent quite right. The times she tried dissolved in laughter from Wolffe and her pouting before joining in on his chuckles.
“Mesh’la? Are you alright?” Wolffe’s words broke through her thoughts.
“I’m fine. I just have an event I’m attending in about three hours. I need to start getting ready soon.” She almost ran her hand through her hair but caught herself in time. Her knitted cap rested over her multicolored very recognizable hair.
“Women.” Wolffe shook his head. “I will never understand why it takes you three hours to get ready for something that will only be an hour tops.”
“Men.” She teased back. “I will never understand how you can just slap on some pants and a shirt in under three minutes and still look like you walked off a magazine cover.”
Wolffe threw back his head and laughed loudly. “It’s a secret known only to men.”
She pouted playfully. “Then I guess I will have to become one to be let in on this secret?”
Wolffe glared. “Don’t you dare do that!”
Wolffe sounded so shocked that she couldn’t help bursting into giggles.
“I’m teasing. I’m teasing.” She was breathless from laughing so hard.
Wolffe was watching her with a mix of confusion and sadness. “Why do you hide?”
She immediately sobered like a bucket of cold water was thrown over her.
“You are always wearing your hat and glasses. I can’t see your eyes. Why do you hide?” Wolffe’s honest question made her want to throw off her cap and glasses here and now. Show him who she was.
“Wolffe. I-” A lump formed in her throat. “I-”
“You don’t trust-” A voice came from Wolffe’s end. “I have to go,” He spoke her name and that hurt the most. “I’ll be planetside in two weeks hopefully. I’ll talk to you later.”
Wolffe hung up without a goodbye.
Tears stung her eyes. She wanted to tell him. She really did. But… he hated Christina Swift. More than that, he hated her music. Could she ever be with a guy who didn’t like what she did for a job?
Her doorbell rang and she stood up to greet the stylist team coming to help her with her hair and makeup. It was time to make a difference. For Wolffe. For all the troopers out there. Her hidden dress sparkled where it caught the fading sunlight. White with black accents. She really would make a statement.
****
With a warning from the Presence in her ear to be careful about the Senate building, she allowed the speeder that was sent for her to take her to her gala.
Her dress was styled like trooper armor. Bare of color. It was white with black swirls where the troopers blacks showed through the gaps.
She knew this was going to seem like it came out of the left field. No warning whatsoever.
That wasn’t her fault. No one would listen to her so she had to take drastic actions.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
Her mother’s favorite saying from her childhood floated through her head.
A vicious thought entered her mind. You can if you slam his face in it.
She shook her head against the dark thought. Where had that come from? She caught sight of the senate building as her speeder drove past it.
Her speeder arrived at the gala and she took a moment to pull together the bubbly farm-girl-turned-music-star persona she made Christina Swift’s image into.
She smiled hugely as she stepped from her covered speeder. Her dress sparkled and caught the light of the flashing cameras. Her only nod towards her trooper that she allowed was her hair. She dyed the streaks of color she changed every so often a light gray.
Cameras went crazy. She flounced her way down the red carpet smiling and waving at people in the crowd.
One particular reporter that commonly used the term clones as a derogatory slur reluctantly came up to her. “Ms. Swift. That dress looks… interesting. What are you wearing?”
She smiled brightly with a hint of a feral snarl that Wolffe would be proud of. “Oh, this?” She twirled so the camera caught every angle of it. “I’m wearing this in honor of the brave men fighting and dying for us in this war. Wouldn’t you agree that these men who are fighting for our freedom deserve a little recognition and support? After all, we certainly wouldn’t be out there doing what they are doing.”
She didn’t wait for the reporter’s stammered response. She walked on towards the party hall with a happy smile. If it was tinged with a bit of mean satisfaction from putting that reporter in their place well, that was just for her.
She mingled with the guests delivering backhanded compliments and insults. She had to be careful on how much she insulted but a softly spoken comment about the men here or sly laughter infused one about people’s cowardness made her feel better.
“A bold statement, Ms. Swift.” The petite senator from Naboo greeted her politely. The blue-skinned senator from Pantora was by her side.
“It’s an incredible dress. Though I would be careful about what you say. Not everyone shares the same views we do.” Senator Chuchi smiled at her. “I like your music very much. Your song 'Fight Song' is very empowering.”
“I personally liked 'Stand By You'.” Senator Amidala accepted a glass from a passing waiter.
She hid a secret smile. Looks like the senators were Rachel Platten fans. “Thank you.”
Her agent came marching across the floor.
“Oh here comes trouble.” She must not have spoken quietly enough because the two senators shared a smile.
“Goodbye, Ms. Swift.” Senator Amidala swept away into the crowd.
Senator Chuchi gave her a friendly nod before following her colleague across the room.
“Ms. Swift. You are needed for your performance. Luckily Shanna found another dress in your car.” Her agent led the way across the room. Her agent gave polite smiles and nods to those she passed.
Once they were away from the crowd, she knew her agent was going to let her have it. But whatever lecture she endured or how condescending her agent became, she would take it with a smile and a polite thank you. Wolffe was worth this.
***
Wolffe didn’t call the week after her gala. She tried not to worry. He would be fine, right? He was a Commander. He was highly trained. He wouldn’t just die, right?
Another fact pressed against her worries. Christmas was soon. This galaxy didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas.
But around this time of year, she couldn’t help but share the sentiment with others. Sometimes around this time, an orphanage would receive an anonymous donation of toys and food enough for a feast. Or an elderly home would get a box of carefully crafted items from some kind stranger. A library fund for kids to go to school would get a large sum of money to help with their goals.
It really varied on what she did. Now that she had someone in her life she was brimming with ideas to give him a gift. She debated between an expensive comlink/chronometer combination that would look nice or a nice pair of jeans. In the end, she set to work with a skein of soft grey yarn and her knitting needles.
While both of those gifts were nice ideas, they were more suited for giving to a partner or spouse. Wolffe was neither. He was her friend and a hat that would fit under his helmet would have to do.
She still remembered that haunted look his eyes got and the involuntary shudder that ran through him when he talked about cold planets. Something told her it was very cold when he lost his eye.
She was done with his hat by the end of the first week. He still hadn’t called and she was worried. He always called at least once a week.
She tried pushing those thoughts from her mind. She was not his girlfriend or spouse. She had no right to worry about him like that.
She wanted to be. She wanted to be his girlfriend. Someone who was there for him. Someone to give him a home. Someone who would love him and welcome him after hard days. Someone who he could talk to and just be himself around.
She… she loved him. She realized after one particular worry-filled night. She loved him and he thought she didn’t trust him.
She made up her mind then and there that the next time she saw him, she would make sure to take off the hat and glasses and let him truly see her for the first time ever.
She loved him, but she was keeping secrets from him. And that was the biggest thing to not do in a relationship that she had ever read about.
The second week rolled by and still no call. She ran over everything in her mind over and over. The words he spoke the last time she saw him burned in her thoughts.
“You don’t trust…”
The sad resignation in them hurt her heart. Like it was a long-ago accepted fact that nobody would ever trust him.
She was antsy when he finally messaged her. All it was was three simple words.
79’s. Tomorrow. 5:50.
She swallowed her nerves and set her jaw. Tomorrow night she would either be in a new relationship or she would be rejected. She was going to lay it all out there for him. Everything.
****
She stepped through the entrance into the crowded bar. All tables and booths were taken and Wolffe was nowhere to be seen.
A spot opened up at the bar and she slid onto the barstool. Wolffe’s present was tucked into her bag. It was wrapped in homemade paper that was decorated with a festive ribbon.
She ordered water from a tired bartender and sipped it as she waited for Wolffe.
Two troopers in white and gray armor came up on either side of her. Neither was Wolffe. For one, their wolves were not in the right spot. For another, they didn’t feel like him.
The Presence didn’t warn her about them so she allowed herself to be boxed in by the two of them.
She felt their gazes on her. She lifted an eyebrow at them. “Can I help you?”
“That depends.” The one on the right spoke slowly. He looked her over.
She felt self-conscious in her nice dress and slightly heeled leather boots. She had curled her hair but tucked it under her hat for now. “On what?”
“On what your intentions are for our Commander.” The one on the left assessed her too.
Her mind stalled for a second. These were Wolffe’s men? Of course, they were Wolffe’s men. Idiot. She scolded herself. They were wearing his armor colors.
“Intentions?” She repeated slowly.
“Yes. See, we don’t want a pretty rich girl coming in and messing with our brother.” The one on the right spoke heatedly.
“Yeah. Wolffe has been through a lot for your average clone. We don’t want anyone who isn’t serious around him.” The left trooper chimed in.
She scanned the bar for Wolffe. Her hopes fell as a suspicion grew in her mind. She spun around so she was facing out. “You two set this up. Wolffe isn’t coming tonight, is he?”
“Oh, he’s coming.” The right one smirked. “We just erased part of his message. It’s nice to have a slicer as a close brother. Right, Boost?”
“Yes, it is, Sinker. What’s ten minutes to you, right?” The now named Boost, leaned his elbow on the bar. “So, we ask again. What are your intentions with our Commander?”
She was getting a little angry. Her water glass shook on the table in front of her as she reigned in her feelings. Unknown to her was the way the water arched out of the glass before splashing back in the cup in a way gravity had no hand in.
Boost and Sinker’s eyes went wide.
“You’re a Jedi?” Sinker’s question made her wrinkle her nose.
“No. I don’t even know what qualifies you to even be one. Look, I appreciate your concern over me and Wolffe. I’m actually a little happy you care for him so much. My intentions are to tell him everything and let it see where it goes from there. Thanks for your third-degree but I think I’ll wait for him outside.”
“Wait! Watch out!” Boost tries to grab at her.
She spins around and moves quickly out of the way of a blue armored trooper who tripped. His drinks went flying and she instinctively flung her hand out and reached for the presence to save her dress.
The drinks hovered in midair. The liquid inside the cups arched away from her body. With her free hand, she caught the trooper by his backplate and heaved him to his feet.
“Thanks… uh… General.” The blue trooper cleared his throat.
She replaced the liquid back in the glasses and set them on the counter.
She looked around at all the people watching her. Her face instantly became flushed. She scooped up her bag and pushed her way through the crowd.
She was almost to the door when she spotted a pair of mismatched eyes watching her with an angry hurt look on his face.
“Wolffe.” She nearly whispered. “Wolffe! Wait!”
“Ma’am. Your hat.” Sinker held out her knitted cap that must have fallen off in the struggle.
Her face paled. “Fuck!” She shouted. “Move!” She barked at the mix of purple and blue troopers blocking her path.
Her way out was instantly cleared. She bolted for the door and pushed out into the cold night air.
She spotted Wolffe halfway down the street. “Wolffe! Wait!” She ran after him.
“Can I help you, Ms. Swift?” Wolffe snarled out. “Or should I call you Christina? Is what you gave me even your name? Oh no, obviously not.”
“Wolffe, that’s not-” She tried desperately to hold back tears. This night was a major clusterfuck since the beginning.
“You lied to me!” Wolffe turned on her. “You promised you weren’t like everyone else. But you lied. What was this? A way to make your image look good? Slumming it with the ‘brave men who are fighting and dying for you in this war’?”
Her mouth dried up. “No.” She protested. She couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “I swear who I-”
“Just… go. Go.” Wolffe turned back towards the street.
Fire licked up her spine. She wasn’t going to leave it like this. “I never lied to you.”
Wolffe froze but kept his back to her. He was listening. Good.
“I may have kept secrets but I never lied to you. Everything I talked to you about was the honest truth. I was going to tell you tonight. Not in the way it happened but I was going to show you. I thought for once that I found someone that was halfway decent. But you know what. It’s fine. I know when I’m not wanted.” She sniffed deeply.
She took out the present she made for him. She fingered the bright green ribbon wrapped around the orange paper. She set it on the ground. “I hoped you would have been different from everyone else too. Someone who would see me and know who I really am. Maybe we both were wrong.”
“Mesh’la, I-” Wolffe spun around but it was too late.
She sped off with the Presence’s help. She went faster than she had ever gone before. She came to her speeder and held back the tears until she sped away from everything she ever thought she wanted.
****
She was wallowing. Badly. She fielded all calls from her record label and manager by telling them she needed a few days of time to herself. She had been a little stressed lately and needed to get her head together.
Her agent ate it up and with a fake sympathetic nod, she was sent home for the next three days with the promise that her agent would handle everything.
She knew it was a very preteen heartbroken girl of her but she broke out the Taylor Swift songs.
She only had the privilege of this tradition between her mom and her once before she died. He was hardly worth remembering. She remembered more the way she and her mother sang Teardrops On My Guitar and how her mother cheered her up by playing other songs after.
Her house was a little messy. Dishes were stacked in the sink. She was lazing in the pajamas she changed into last night. A blanket fort was built around her. Spacy was in her lap as she tried to get the notes to sound right on this futuristic space-themed guitar.
She missed Jasmine. Her old guitar.
She played the opening notes and hummed the chorus to the song. She was trying to get it right and missed her front door opening up.
“Whew. Clean this place up a little and the only teardrops on your guitar will be ones of happiness.” A female voice called out cheerfully.
Spacy made a squawk as she hastily set him by her side.
“What did you just say?” She demanded. She wasn’t singing the words. So the only way this woman would know the song was if she was from her… planet.
“Hello, fellow Earthling. I think we need to talk.” The other woman’s smile dropped.
****
It took a few hours to go over everything. She had finally found someone she could confide in and she spilled everything. Her trauma from her death. Her family and home she missed. The things they didn’t have here that their homeworld did.
That led the conversation into where exactly they were.
The other woman was shocked when she admitted that she had no clue what was happening and that she had never seen a single thing about Star Wars. All she had to go off of was random famous pop culture references that everyone from their dog to their grandma knew.
The remaining time until sundown was spent with the other woman, (Jedi she had explained), detailing everything about the series.
“Let me get this straight. We are currently in the prequel era. The originals haven’t even happened yet. Anakin is actually Luke’s father. Not Vader. And the men all have a chip in their heads that will make them kill all the Jedi.” She sat up on the couch.
“In a nutshell, yes. Also, you are forgetting that the Sith Lord in charge is the Chancellor.” The Jedi reminded her.
“Oh, how could I forget that.” She rolled her eyes. “What will happen to Wolffe? What will happen to all of them?”
“Excellent question. We are going to stop him. You do have the Force right?” The Jedi sat forward eagerly.
“The Force?” She echoed. “What’s the Force? Oh! You mean the Presence, ghost thingy.”
The Jedi stared at her with her features scrunched up. “Everything you just said is so insulting I don’t even know where to begin. Force, you are a total noob. What did you do as a kid?”
“Mucked horse stalls and gathered chicken eggs.” She answered promptly.
The Jedi wrinkled her nose. “Gross. Country girl.”
“City slicker.” She teased back.
“Anyway.” The Jedi stared at her. “I think the Force sent us both here. We need to stop Palpatine and I can’t do it alone. Will you help me? Please?”
She thought about that. Wolffe didn’t want her around but she couldn’t just give up on him and turn a blind eye to what will happen to him and his brothers. “Yes. I will.”
The Jedi sagged back into her couch. “Oh, that was so nerve-wracking. Great. First order of business… go hop in the shower, clean up in here, put on a nice dress, and meet me at 79’s in two hours. Does that work for you?”
“Yes, but why 79’s? After what happened last time I thought I might not be welcomed there.” She looked at the floor.
The Jedi rolled her eyes. “You’re going to be there with me. No one will say anything about it and if they do I’ll sic my Captain on them. Now up. Shower.”
“Yes ma’am.” She got to her feet and headed for the bathroom. She felt hope rising that she might see Wolffe again.
****
She stepped through the door to the trooper bar for the first time now wearing her hat or glasses. Her hair was streaked with the same gray from her gala almost three weeks ago. She hadn’t had time to change it.
She was relieved when the troopers didn’t act any differently. They still crowded her. They didn’t spare two glances at her. They moved aside when she asked but other than that they were absorbed in their drinks and friends.
This time, among the crowd there was no purple and green but gold had taken their place. Blue, gold, grey, and red were the prominent colors the troopers wore.
She spotted the Jedi tucked into a booth, sitting on a blue trooper’s lap. A gold trooper and Wolffe were sitting with them.
The Jedi caught her eyes and motioned for her to wait there. The Jedi leaned down and whispered in the blue trooper’s ear before kissing him and getting to her feet.
The Jedi met her in the middle of the crowd and led her to the table right behind where she was sitting before. The other woman smiled at the mix of blue and gold troopers in the booth. “Jesse? Would you guys please scoot over for a minute? We need to sit here just for a little while.”
“Sure, Commander.” Jesse scooted over and two seats were readily available.
“Sit down and listen.” The Jedi shoved her into a seat.
She opened her mouth but the Jedi shushed her.
“Listen.” The Jedi ordered.
She concentrated on the men in the next booth.
“I don’t even know, Rex. I tried contacting her but someone who claimed to be her agent told me she was unavailable. I guess it’s just hopeless. Not everyone is meant for happiness like you. I messed up and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me” Wolffe was speaking.
His words nearly broke her heart. He was sad and resigned that he lost her for good.
She choked back a hysterical cackle. “Is that what you think?” She spun around on the booth so her knees were on the seat and her face was next to Wolffe’s.
“Mesh’la?”
“You fucking asshole.” She pressed closer to him. “I promised you that I cared. I promised you that I thought you were one in a million. I know I kept secrets from you and for that, I’m sorry. Yes, I have the force or whatever it’s called.”
The Jedi next to her made a pained wheeze. She ignored her.
“Yes, I’m from the same planet as this dumbass city girl next to me. Yes, I’m Christina Swift but everything else I told you was true. Even my name. Christina Swift is a stage name. A fake name people give when they are famous if they want to hide who they really are. I never hid who I am with you. Everything you got was one hundred percent pure me. I..” Words caught in her throat. She pushed on. “I love you.” Once she got over the first hump they came easier. “I love you, Wolffe. You are one in a million to me.”
A finger laid across her mouth.
“Promise me one thing.” Wolffe’s eyes met hers. One blue, one honey brown, both were serious. “Promise me that there will be no more secrets between us. That we will always talk about things and that there will never be a time that we let our anger get the better of us.”
“That’s three things.” She pointed out.
“Okay. Promise me three things.” Wolffe stared at her. She could see the hope and love in his eyes.
“I promise.” She swore. “No more secrets, we will always talk and we will try to control our tempers. Now, will you fucking kiss me?”
Wolffe laughed once before his lips were on hers. She closed her eyes and took in the moment. This was her first kiss and everything was perfect. She slowly pulled back.
“Come here, Mesh’la.” Wolffe pulled her up and over the seat.
Thankfully she was wearing leggings under her dress so she didn’t flash the troopers behind her as she climbed. She settled by her Commander’s side with a bright grin. “Hi. I don’t think we’ve met.” She introduced herself proudly. Using her real name for the first time in years.
She laughed and had a good night with Wolffe, Cody, and Rex (the Jedi’s Captain.)
Cody watched as two of his closest brothers found happiness and love in women who would never abandon them and take them for granted. He almost wanted that for himself.
An image of another woman who never treated him like a flesh droid like everyone else came to his mind. Someone who he met time and time again. Someone who was very much like these two women before him.
When would they meet again? She drove him crazy but he craved the way she acted around him.
Cody sighed and shoved her from his mind. They would meet again. He knew it.