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Beomgyu tries to ignore Kai’s stares, he really does.
He dips the applicator into the nail polish bottle again, brushes it over the rim to get rid off the bit of liquid that is too much, carefully places the small brush on Kai’s index finger and paints it in the same lilac tone that is already on the younger’s thumbs and other hand.
He’s not an expert, of course, but Kai asked him if he could help and Beomgyu was a little too weak to say no.
Kai’s phone is connected to a bluetooth speaker and a ballad is blaring through the room. Beomgyu catches something about unspoken feelings and missed opportunities. He tries to ignore it, really does.
The younger sighs deeply, theatrically even as Beomgyu coats his middle finger with polish.
“What’s wrong, Hyuka?” the older asks though he isn’t sure he wants to know.
Kai sighs once more. “Don’t you think I’m such a late bloomer?”
Beomgyu’s hand hovers over his friend’s ring finger now. He shrugs. “I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.” he admits.
“It means…” Kai starts, interrupted by another deep sigh. “Well, everyone my age is already dating and has, like, experiences . you know? They’ve had their first relationship, their first kiss, all that stuff. And me… I’ve never even held hands with someone!”
“That’s a lie!” Beomgyu giggles. “You’ve held my hand plenty of times.”
Kai laughs. “Ah, that doesn’t count!”
“Why not?”
“You’re my best friend! We aren’t, like, dating or anything.” the younger explains and Beomgyu’s heart stings a little. He knows, of course, that he should’ve expected this. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
He clears his throat, finishing up Kai’s pinky finger. “I don’t think being a late bloomer is a bad thing. I barely remember the guy who was my first kiss! You’ll get to consciously pick someone you trust enough.”
His friend frowns and they make eye contact. “But… what if I do find that… that person, and I’m just such a terrible kisser ? I don’t even know how to kiss anyone! What if that makes me completely undesirable?”
Beomgyu isn’t sure whether he wants to curl up in a ball to cry or scream at the younger but he knows Kai is sincere with his words and he knows they’re best friends before anything.
“It’s not that difficult to kiss someone. And honestly, if it’s the right person they will help you and you won’t have to worry at all.”
Kai pouts and it’s clear that he isn’t satisfied at all, he isn’t one to be okay with having to wait .
Beomgyu doesn’t know why the matter is so important to him. He screws the nail polish bottle back closed and puts it aside, pulling his knees up and making eye contact with his friend.
“It’s easy for you to say I should wait! You’ve had your first kiss at least.”
The older rolls his eyes. “Kai, there are lots of people your age who haven’t kissed anyone yet. And it’s really not such a big deal! The idea that the first kiss, first time, first whatever, is so important is super outdated and makes absolutely no sense.”
Kai seems to think about it for a while, fingertips twitching as if he wants to move his hands. But he is well aware the nail polish has to dry.
“Then wouldn’t it be better if I just asked someone to be my first kiss and practice with me?”
The older boy is close to screaming but he manages to keep his composure. “That’s not what I was getting at but… yeah, I guess. It would make you less nervous about it, probably.”
The younger nods. “Makes sense.” he mutters.
Beomgyu reaches for his phone, hoping someone may have contacted him to help him escape this situation. But there is nothing, just his lockscreen, a photo of Kai, of course, staring back at him as if to be a reminder of what could have been if he wasn’t such a coward.
They haven’t known each other for decades or anything but they might as well have. They ended up taking the same acting course in high school and Kai was friends with one of Beomgyu’s band members.
They started spending a lot of time together quickly and it was inevitable for them to become the best of friends.
Beomgyu’s feelings have only started developing more recently, he can’t pinpoint the exact moment but he clearly remembers the moment he realised.
Kai has always been touchy, has always made it his habit to invade the personal space of others and that was why it just so happened that he fell asleep on Beomgyu’s lap one time. The older, brushing through his friend’s hair, realised in that moment that what he felt was a little more than just platonic.
He doesn’t know if Kai has ever reciprocated those feelings but he is sure that there is nothing now at least, Kai’s slow playlist still blaring through the room and clouding Beomgyu’s mind.
He puts the phone aside again after pretending to type a little. Kai is still looking at him.
“What?” Beomgyu asks.
The younger’s face lights up a little as if an idea has struck him and the other already knows it will end in disaster.
“You could do it.” Kai says.
“Do what?”
“Kiss me! You could teach me how to kiss people.”
Beomgyu thinks he might as well run away now before it’s too late and block Kai on every social media. But he has my address , he remembers, discarding the plan.
“I don’t know, Kai… doesn’t seem like a good idea.”
The younger gives him his very best puppy eyes and Beomgyu hates how weak he is for this boy. “Gyu! Please! You have more experience than me, you know me so you know how to teach me, you’re my best friend so it’s not weird if we kiss… Please!”
Beomgyu sends out a silent prayer that this doesn’t blow up on him because he knows he can’t say no to Kai.
“What if it makes things awkward?” he voices out. Kai frowns.
“It won’t!”
It will , Beomgyu thinks but the younger never lets down once he has a plan.
The older swallows, tries to get rid of the feeling in the pit of his stomach that seems to make his organs churn. Kai just smiles sweetly.
“Fine…” he mutters and the younger grins.
“You’re the best, Gyu, you know that? The absolute best in the world.”
He’s about to surge forward for a hug but Beomgyu stops him. “Your nails,” he says. “Put your hands somewhere where they’re safe.”
Kai obliges, placing his hands on the floor next to him, leaning back a little. He looks at his friend with big, expectant eyes and Beomgyu wonders why the universe hates him this much and why the younger doesn’t have any doubts about this.
He knows this is probably the only time he’s ever going to be able to kiss Kai, something he’s wanted to do for months, and it hurts and terrifies him but there is no backing out anymore.
Might as well do it then , he thinks, carefully moving forward until he’s sitting between Kai’s legs with his own wrapped around the younger’s waist.
His friend is taller than him and it becomes painfully obvious once more now as Beomgyu is forced to tilt his head up just a little bit as they are so close to each other.
Kai smiles innocently, he knows nothing about how Beomgyu’s heart is aching.
“Are you sure about this?” the older asks and wishes that his friend says No.
But Kai doesn't back down. “I’m sure.” he says. “Tell me what to do.”
Beomgyu’s hands are trembling as he places them to cup the other’s cheeks, Kai’s skin soft against his own calloused fingers.
The younger’s eyes are wide and sparkly, Beomgyu catches himself wishing it was love that mirrors in his irises instead of pure curiosity.
“Close your eyes.” he whispers. Kai’s lids flutter shut and Beomgyu is able to count the eyelashes framing them.
“Are you really sure?” the older asks, realising that he is about to be Kai’s first kiss.
“Kiss me!” the younger demands.
“Okay… I’m gonna kiss you now.” Beomgyu announces, his voice shaking together with the rest of his body.
Kai’s lips are shut but they’re pretty and soft-looking enough that Beomgyu forgets everything else as he leans closer.
He doesn’t miss, his own lips hitting the center of his friend’s mouth perfectly for a gentle peck. He doesn’t want to be greedy so he isn’t and pulls back fast instead.
“There you go… congrats on your first kiss.” he manages to joke. Kai opens his eyes.
“Was that all?”
“I mean…” Beomgyu doesn't know what to say.
“Kiss me again.” the younger demands. “Longer.”
Beomgyu wants to punch him, feels dizzy but he also longs for more and he’s selfish enough to nod. Kai’s eyes close again and this time his lips are parted a little.
The older wants to frame the picture and he inhales sharply this time before leaning back in, staying a little longer and drinking up how Kai’s lips feel on his own.
The younger boy doesn’t move back and Beomgyu has to force himself to pull away, a tingle on his lips.
“Was that alright?”
Kai’s eyes sparkle again as he opens them and he seems a little hazy. “Yeah. Can you do it again?”
“Huh?”
“Please! It feels good.” the younger confirms and Beomgyu decides he might as well make use of it.
“Only if you kiss me back.”
“How do I do that?” Kai asks, he doesn’t seem like he’s opposing the demand.
“Just do what I do.”
“What if I’m bad at it?” the younger says, his voice light and high pitched. Beomgyu shakes his head.
“You won’t be. You have nice lips, for kissing.”
It may be the light but Beomgyu swears a gentle blush is evident on his friend’s cheeks. “Thank you. Okay… I’ll kiss back.” Kai whispers and he closes his eyes again.
Beomgyu tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear, almost shocked at how beautiful the other is. He decides to make the most of this moment, he doubts he will ever get the chance again.
“Gyu?” Kai asks.
“Hey, hey, patient.” the older replies gently, letting his lips brush over the other’s jaw for just a split second. His friend gasps softly. He’s breathtakingly gorgeous.
Beomgyu leans in again, his eyes closing only a moment before their lips reunite and he kisses carefully and slowly, allowing the other to copy his movements, their mouths now moving with each other, gentle and so, so addictive.
Kai tastes of the ice cream he ate less than an hour ago and the older tries to get a hold of the taste, savouring it.
The younger gives in to the small, sipping kisses and neither of them even thinks about pulling away.
Beomgyu reaches for his friend’s hand, guiding it to sit on his waist, desperate for more . He recalls something about nail polish but it doesn’t matter.
Kai lets him, digging his fingers into the bare skin underneath the older’s shirt and he hums a little.
The older decides he’s addicted now. “Can I do more?” he asks, his lips sticking to the other’s as he speaks.
“Please,” Kai exhales. “Show me everything.”
Beomgyu surges forward again, this time going for something deeper, licking over the other’s bottom lip.
Kai doesn't have to be taught, he reacts on reflex and Beomgyu wants to pull him closer and closer, the kiss getting deeper and deeper. The younger seems motivated to do what the other does and it’s not just simple kissing anymore as his teeth tug on the other’s lip a little.
The older boy lets one hand rest against Kai’s chest, dizzy with how much he loves this boy and the latter doesn’t seem to mind, kissing him over and over.
Beomgyu knows it can’t go on forever so he tries to part but Kai chases his lips until he’s able to capture them on his own again. “Don’t stop!” he whines and the older can’t say no.
He sighs a little as he feels Kai’s fingers wandering restlessly across his back and it fills him with glee to know the other wants him, even if it’s just for this moment.
Kai whimpers a soft “Gyu!” and Beomgyu finally moves away, a thin string of saliva between their swollen lips.
“Was that good?” he asks even though he doesn’t need an answer. Kai’s cheeks are a deep red and he looks just as dizzy as the older.
“Gyu…” the younger whispers, audibly out of breath. Beomgyu laughs and pulls him into a tight embrace.
Maybe this wasn’t exactly how he’d planned his evening to go, making out on the floor with his very best friend but Kai’s breath was hot against his neck and that was enough.
“Gyu, I love you.” the younger mutters.
Beomgyu’s heart aches a little but he manages a chuckle. “Love you too, Hyuka.”
“No… I love you.” Kai repeats and somehow the older boy takes a while to process it.
“What?”
“I didn’t- I mean, I never thought about it before but… I really wanted you to be my first kiss. And, well, I love you, like that .”
Beomgyu could cry from relief and he rests his cheek against the other’s shoulder while his hands glide over Kai’s chest. “I love you too, Kai. You know that, right?”
“Why did you agree to kiss me?”
“I knew it was important to you. And it did hurt because I thought this was, like, the closest to being with you that I’d ever be but I didn’t want to miss the chance. I just… really wanted to kiss you, I guess.”
Kai sighs. “You were ready to deal with that much pain for me?”
Beomgyu laughs, loosening a little so he can look into the other’s eyes.
“Of course. Don’t be silly! I just want you to be happy.”
His friend smiles. “I am happy. With you. I’m sorry I took so very long to realise that. Needed us making out for me to see.”
Beomgyu smiles, caressing the younger boy’s cheek. “I really like you, Hyuka. You were worth the wait.”
“Now I don’t even get to make use of the experience I just gathered!” Kai jokes and the older boy shakes his head.
“Maybe you can show me, hm? I think you’re a pretty decent kisser.”
“My boyfriend taught me.” The younger explains, a wide grin on his face.
“You have a boyfriend?”
Kai nods, leaning forward to kiss the other boy again. It’s gentle this time, but it’s him so Beomgyu quickly melts into it.
“Your nails.” he remembers and Kai looks at them. They’re not smudged, surprisingly and the younger boy grins.
“All good.”
Beomgyu feels dizzy but so in love and he pulls his boyfriend back into his arms. “I love you.” he mutters as he leaves a peck on Kai’s neck. “I love you, Kai. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
It feels good saying it and even better how Kai says it back, echoing his words and humming sweetly.