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dave is the good catholic boy (tm) who attends church with his bro every sunday and bros like "I gotta raise the kid right.... " seeing as bro doesn’t want dave to turn out like him (running porn site with a massive puppet fetish). the pastor at the church is karkat's dad, who’s just been transferred from another parish from up in the northern US. Welcome 2 texas
karkat initially meets dave at some kind of congregational picnic. theyre both around 12 or so. bro gets to chatting with Mom abt raising Youngsters, offering condolences for how rose has refused to attend service for the past few months because she no longer ‘has faith’. dave wanders off with his headphones shoved into his ears to one of the empty picnic tables. he slouches there with a hand propping up his head, idly shuffing thru his playlists, which vacillate between alternative Christian rock and heavily censored rap
suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder and its papa preacher vantas with karkat in tow. karkat’s got a Gameboy sticking out of his back pocket and bandaids on his fingers. He’s wearing a turtleneck even though its like 90 degrees and humid.
“hey there, david, I’m father vantas and I’d like you to meet my son karkat,” he smiles rly warmly. Karkat just kind of glowers at dave from behind his dad. Dave pulls out an earbud.
“hey,” he raises his eyebrows at karkat, who mutters something that’s a poor excuse for “hey you, “ and much closer to “fuck you,”. Papa vantas’ grip tightens on karkat and karkat says “nice to meet you, “ in a more forced tone.
“I figured you two would get along seeing as you’re both around the same age. Quite a lucky coincidence, yeah?” karkat sits across from dave and papa vantas goes to say hello to the other ppl at the picnic. karkat pulls out his Gameboy and frowns rly hard as the music for th pokemon title screen starts playing in the bg. They exchange no words initially but then karkats stomach growls rly loudly and dave asks karkat if he wants to get food . karkats like “no. im not hungry.” “dude your stomach just growled louder than a bass boosted version of a bad dubstep drop don’t lie,”
“whats dubstep>?” karkat squints over the picnic table at dave. dave pulls up the first thing that comes up on a google search for it and hands his phone over to karkat. “here,” its fucking skrillex ‘rock n roll’ or something. karkat rips the headphones out of his ears after like 4 seconds “ I feel a migraine coming on get that shit away from me,”
“you know, you’re really not that hardcore for a guy who swears so much,” says dave
“shut the fuck up.”
They then proceed to go raid the desert table and karkat eats too much pie as a result of dave daring him and he throws up and has to go home. Papa vantas isn’t happy.
anyway, karkat and dave end up getting to know each other and become friends. they fuck around outside the church after service ends, and also go to youth group together, and karkat chills at dave's place and they play video games n dave shows karkat his ill beats. they develop Feelings for each other... which is mega confusing for both of them. they go a long time without admitting it and then while theyre sitting behind the church one day, karkat in his zip up columbia fleece and dave in his button up polo (both of them in khakis), laying down in a small clearing in a thicket behind the church. dave's lazily popping sugar cubes (that he took from the coffee & donuts table ) into his mouth, and karkats slowly chewing his chocolate donut and getting frosting on the edges of his mouth. They’re both 15 or so??
out of the blue karkat tells dave that his dad made him start seeing a therapist. Dave assumes its for karkat’s depression because karkat mentioned it in an offhand comment before and dave didn’t press him for questions after that. so dave's like Well tahts good, right, whatever's happening you've got a pro giving you the best tips. and karkat's just like......yeah.......and puts his donut down.
and he's SO CONFLICTED because telling dave would mean that he’d probably have to go into detail and hes not sure he’s ready for that, especially since it involves dave directly. he nervously fiddles with the hem of his fleece...
and dave's like "whats up man"
karkats just doesnt say antyhing. and gets really red in the face.
"You're my best bro, right. and best bros can tell each other anything." says karkat. and dave nods and sits up cross legged to face karkat. he looks so earnestly concerned it makes karkat sick
"i um. i'm seeing the therapist because my. im. " he chokes on his own fucking words " you know how ... like. i dont know. fuck. fuck." karkat starts tearing up...
dave scoots closer to him and doesnt want to touch him in case that'd scare him off or something.
and karkat just sort of crumples in on himself and mutters rly quietly "im going to the therapist because my dad found out im a homosexual.'"
"what" says dave, mostly as an initial reaction of surprise but karkat thinks its bc he couldn’t hear. karkat gets even redder and gets up and balls his fists and hisses loudly "IM GAY!!"
dave just kind of sits there and isn't sure how to react... because. he's been doubting if he was straight for such a long time and to hear karkat say that......
so daves just like "me too".
karkat s just shocekd "WHAT THE FUCK. DONT JOKE AROUND WITH ME DAVE, THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT!! MY DAD CAN'T HAVE A GAY SON, HE"S THE PASTOR, HE'S SENDING ME TO SOME FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO THINKS THAT I CAN JUST SWITCH IT OFF, JJUST MAGIC THE GAY AWAY FOR $100 PER SESSION, " dave stands up too, abandoning his sugar cubes in the dirt, and is like "bruh i'm not joking. i would not joke around with this shit," and karkat's hyperventilating at this point and daves just like..... c'mere dude. shhh hhhh shoosh paps strokes karkats hair. "we'll figure something out, your ass does not belong in a therapist's office just because you don’t fit some bullshit norm. thats not right, man."
and karkat calms down enough and he's got his head laying on dave's chest (dave just hit a growth spurt and is like 4 inches taller than karkat god bless america) dave feels awkward because they’ve never been this close together save for their tussles following disagreements about shit like who got to be princess peach in smash bros or who got the last packet of capri sun in the fridge (“i just walked 10 fucking blocks through the muggy heat to get here I deserve to quench my parched throat with that sweet prize, vantas, its my birthright” “fuck off it’s my house, my rules, and it’s my juice” “its not even technically juice. Hand it over,” “yes it is, you numbnut look . here. 10 percent juice concentrate”). but karkat seems to be extremely distressed so he just stands there with a hand evenly stroking karkats back.
Karkat speaks up. " dave, when you said 'me too', were you really ……” and daves like “uhhhh….i mean its not strictly just guys, yknow, i mean, i'm attracted to gals too, so maybe more bisexual, but gay’s just…”
“catch-all phrase,” mumbles karkat.
"yeah, that," and dave shrugs, karkat’s head following the movement, and sighs.
karkats just like "how did you know? like for sure? I mean I get that it’s not just a thing you know one day or not. but you get it,"
dave just goes rly still and is like, "well. um. (clears throat x50) i had a crush. on a guy. and it was kind of a big thing for me? and i thoguht about it a lot. and i didn't understand how people in church could condemn that shit? because its... its fine. whatever it is, its fine. "
and karkats like Hmm.
and dave's like" so how did your dad find out." and karkat said hsi dad had read his diary (OF COURSE KARKAT KEEPS A DIARY) and saw what he'd written about his sexuality or whatever and then there'd been a long and awkward talk of thinly veiled bigotry, "I love you son but we've got to fix this" and karkats like “its so damn furstrating!! no he doesn’t love ME, who i am, he loves the idea of who he expects me to be and will go to any lengths to ensure that i still live up to that bullshit ideal!" and karkat starts crying a bit again bc he's so worked up and dave's just like bro u wanna sit down or something... ( and also the bushes poking him were getting uncomfortable bc theyre still in this thicket and daves height isnt to his advantage when theres low hanging branches. He has a few leaves tangled in his hair already)
so they sit down next to each other, dave with his arms around karkat in a sort of awkward bro-hug and karkats leaning on dave and now instead of playing with the hem of his fleece he's absentmindedly fiddling with a loose thread on dave's shirt
there's silence for like a minute and then karkat just blurts out (calculated risk!) "i wrote about you in my diary. thats how my dad found out. i had a crush on you and wrote about it and i was an idiot and i dont. im sorry." and he pulls away and gives dave space and daves just FROZEN bc like holy shit...... hhhhhhhh fuck.....
karkat takes it the wrong way and starts leaving, muttering a string of "i fuckgin ruined everyhtign i ruined our friendship like the only good thing i have left and i fucking blew it i hate msyelf im such an idiot" and daves justl ike no dude wait.
"when i mentioned the guy i had a crush on that was really important to me. thats, htat you was u, bro,” and he just smiles weakly and is blushing REALLY hard. " and dude you should know that even if u had a crush on me that wouldnt have ruined our friendship. we can work stuff like thsi out,"
except it feels weird calling karkat a bro now that all the cards are on the table. in fact theres jsut an air of awkwardness that sort of hangs around until they both leave , and they dont see each other until next sunday.
Anyway Karkat ends up talking to his dad and getting out of going to the bullshit reparative therapy thing bc he made a deal with his dad that he wouldn’t see dave anymore ( BLATANT LIES). Karkat and dave start dating secretly but neither of them are really sure hwo to go about things and dave’s demisexual and doesn’t feel like pursuing anything sexual at all and karkat’s just fine with that. So its not much different than before except now when they’re sitting on the torn up couch in dave’s living room, dave in his boxers and karkat having finally shed his shell of whatever up-to-the-chin clothing he had been wearing before. There’s a tentativeness about their movements but there’s a distinct lack of the air of apprehension that had been there for the past few months prior. They end up falling asleep in the early hours of the morning after a romcom movie marathon (thanks karkat) tangled up in each other. Thankfully bro’s gone for the weekend so they have the house to themselves and don’t have to worry about someone finding out they’re ~together~
It lasts about 3 weeks and then karkats dad catches them together in public and its horrible and both of them panic, but karkat much more so considering its /his/ dad. Pastor vantas doesn’t act outwardly shouty in public but once he leaves and promises karkat they’d Talk About It when he gets home karkat explains how its so much worse at home. They both had been lounging around a starbucks after watching 500 days of summer at the local movie theater as part of some kind of summer special, karkat sipping on his iced coffee and dave basically inhaling a venti mocha iced frap. Papa vantas had walked in and ordered coffee and karkat had gone very still once he heard his dad’s voice over the soft music playing from the store’s speakers and he’d kicked dave under the table and nodded his head towards his dad and dave had been like Oh Shit “ dude. Imma hide in the bathroom.” Karkats hisses “im not even supposed to be here im supposed to be at my aunt’s house, im gonna go hide” and then papa vantas starts to turn around and dave jumps up to run to the bathroom despite what karkat said because he’s closer to it and knocks his chair over in his haste. It clatters to the floor and allt he occupants of the café turn to stare, including dad vantas, and dave’s just like um. Shit.
Once dad vantas leaves the store, karkat sinks down into his chair and puts his forehead on the table. Dave puts his hands over karkats from across the table. “wanna stay at my place tonight?”
“that would only make it worse,” karkat groans into the tabletop. “this is so fuckign complicated. I coudnt make this more convoluted if I were playing a game of twister with the spaghetti devil himself. I . I hate this , fuck.” He clenches daves hands.
“look, karkat, we can go back to my place and figure it out from there, aight,” dave tries to sound comforting but it sort of flops when his voice cracks at the end from nervousness.
“its not that bad—i—I should just get home right now. The faster I get this over with, the better.” He lets out a shaky breath.
“if anything happens, call me, okay?”
Karkat ends up just getting a stern talking-to by his dad and gets grounded, his phone taken away, etc (no contact with dave). he sneaks out of the house the late at night the day after to tell dave what happened and they end up sitting in dave’s backyard drinking iced tea and stargazing which dave points out is the most ridiculously romantic sounding thing just like in karkats fav movies and karkat slaps him lightly but agrees.
They continue being much more stealthy with where and when they hang out.
One day bro breaks the news to dave that he can’t afford to send him to private school any more, he doesn’t have the money, his “internet business” which dave by now knows is a fuckign muppet porn site, isn’t bringing in the bank like it used to. Dave tries not to get overly excited but as soon as bro finishes laying down the plan for transferring, dave texts karkat that he’ll be going to his school and they both are so fucking relieved because they wont have to sneak around any more to see each other.
Karkat introduces dave to his friends who are all fuckn nerds.
at one point during their senior year when they’re hanging out together during their lunch period at the edge of campus eating burritos from a local-run restaurant dave voices his doubts about his faith and how he can’t stop wondering if everything he’s doing, everything he is, is wrong. He’s afraid he’s blaspheming with every breath and he feels like shit and mostly he can ignore it but it’s so ingrained he doesn’t know what to think and he has nightmares about it and he’s sitting there in front of a golden throne with judgment bearing down on his shoulders and then theres karkats hand on his face bringing him back to reality and wiping the wetness from his cheeks with a thumb and karkats warm breath on his lips.
And karkat tells dave that he thinks about it all the time but it doesn’t make sense, does it, we’re not hurting anyone and we’re doing whats best for us. Whats unhealthy is denying to ourselves who we are.
And dave knows this and he says it but he still feels so awful about it and the doubt in his mind gets louder and he sits there feeling the bile rising in his throat as karkat gently runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him and dave just cries and cries and cries.
Dave skips the rest of school that day to go to church and just sits there in the pew breathing in the cool darkness mingled with the smell of incense and childhood. He doesn’t cry now, his eyes are raw from that afternoon. he gets down on his knees and clenches his hands to his forehead, feeling the outline of where karkat had pressed his lips like it was the mark of a sinner and he doubles over at the thought.
Someone comes into the church and dave straightens up and evens his breathing and sits there staring at the altar and cant bring his eyes to look at anything else. Its an old lady who hobbles over and sits down in one of the front rows and gets out a rosary. He looks over at her ever so often but she doesn’t seem to move. He wonders what she’s praying about. A formulated prayer, the health of a relative, forgiveness for killing a man, for hope, for her beets to cook well for dinner?
Dave sits there for another hour and someone else opens the door to the church and it’s karkat and he sits down next to dave, leaving a bit of space between them. He’s changed out of his school clothes into something more formal. A collared shirt with a jacket and fitted pants and dave cant help but think how fucking gorgeous he looks in it and how his hair is still messy and theres a sheen of sweat near his hairline and he’s hit with what he can only describe as lust harder than ever before. He looks over to meet karkat’s gaze and sees karkat staring straight ahead . karkat slips his hand into daves and they sit in silence for a minute more before dave leans over and kisses karkat right under his ear and karkat tilts his head back a little and dave hates himself so much he’s in a fuckign church doing this he’s going to hell he’s going to hell he’s-
Karkat pulls his head away as he shifts his hand onto dave’s thigh. “we’re so horny god damn,” dave whispers and karkat just snorts and comments on the ironic nature of the statement seeing as its operating on multiple levels of meaning, and stands up. Dave follows him with his eyes. Karkat takes daves hand and they both trail out of the church, leaving the old lady mumbling sanctities into her rosary.
Neither of them had been to church since a few months after dave had transferred to the public school which was maybe 2 years ago ??, so walking around the church grounds initiates this awful feeling of nostaligia in both of them. They wander around the back of the church into the thicket from years ago. They have to crouch just to fit because the thicket’s grown downwards as they’ve grown upwards and the space is much smaller than it used to be. there are thin leaves and a scattering of green berries from the bushes on the thin layer of yellowed grass at their feet.
“we were so young,” karkat whispers almost reverently. Dave nods and twines his fingers tighter with karkats. They both sit down, side by side, facing the back of the church which is barely visible through the expanse of branches covering them.
Karkat turns to face dave and brings his hands up to cup dave’s jawline and dave leans down as karkat leans in and they kiss so slowly , dave’s hands making their way along karkat’s back underneath his fucking zip up turtleneck (some things never change). Karkat moves dave’s shades into his hair. He follows with his hands, working his way into daves hair, running his fingers through thick curls and dragging his nails along the back of daves neck. Karkat’s mouth is hotter than dave’s and his warm breath slips in with the other’s as the kiss deepens and dave slips his tongue from the bottom row of karkats teeth to the slick underside of karkat’s tongue and it feels fucking obscene. Karkat makes a small noise in the back of his throat and shifts his head as they settle into a rhythm and the kiss lightens to what could only be described as chaste.
Karkat breaks off and moves both of his hands to dave’s shoulders. “You’re okay with this,” he asks.
“Yeah, god , yeah,” says dave, panting slightly.
“After what you said this afternoon… I don’t want to have you fucking. Relapse into the bottomless pit of self-doubt. I know how tough that is, dave, and I wouldn’t want you to go through-“
“Dude, no. This is…good.”
Karkat gives a little sigh and kisses dave lightly and dave follows him, lingering, as he pulls back again.
“We should probably move somewhere a bit more logistically appropriate,” says karkat.
And then they , fucked in the car or something? idfk its 4 am and Im so tired and dont feel like writing smut. whateever