Work Text:
and happiness is right there (where you lost it)
Night was falling in the mountains, the sun leaving a red stain behind the tallest one. Birds had already gone to sleep. Everything was silent but for the crackling of the fire from the camp they settled, and a slight breeze coming from where she knew was the sea, despite not being able to see it. Spending so long inside a ship had her able to recognize the salty crispness of a sea-breeze.
She was sitting on a flat stone, far away from where the boys roasted something on a stick. The darkness made her feel nostalgic. It was the only time of the day when she could take the eyepatch off and let her own eyes take in the scene with no magic involved. It was the only time when she could forget how far she was from home.
Not that home meant anything at this point. Home was not a house in Redemptia, home was not being alongside her parents, who she had not seen in over a hundred years, not anymore. Home was not that blasted ship either; nor was it anywhere in Kossuth. Home was not even that sword permanently attached to her hip, lacing her fate with divine power and divine purpose.
She did not know where home was, at this point. A home, her mind ventured, should be a place to relax and feel safe, somewhere to belong - somewhere where she did not have to question if her presence did more good than harm, or if she took too much space, or was not present enough. A place where she could move and experiment with what she was and wanted, ever-changing just as life demanded them to be.
And she… could not think of a place like that. Yes, she could project and plan - a house in Grumbar, probably, nearby some small village where nobody knew her name or what she did, after getting rid of Omazz and resigning from her services for Helix. If her life was not claimed before that, of course; if the fates allowed her that kind of joy.
But then, it was not like she was strung tight all the time; she pondered. It really was not. She was not as carefree as Tajiiri or Lotraic, but she was also not as paranoid as Talon - she fit somewhere in between. One thing the latter had in common with her, though, was the fact that they were always expecting the worst, finding reasons upon reasons not to trust anybody, especially with their safety.
No matter how many enemies they defeated, they were never safe. She could never relax, perpetually feeling the self-inflicted responsibility to take care of them, to be sword and shield for the group she came to love that much. That was where her value resided: being strong enough to be the frontline to things that could kill her friends.
That meant that she was constantly looking out for threats. Even if she was not alone in that, she had to get there first .
Her hand reached up to the sky, black skin covering the stars. It was such a stark contrast. A black elf, something tainted, a monster . She had heard it all. She had been somewhat of a status symbol to the Dovano family, as they had captured and tamed such a vile, exotic creature. That treatment was something she expected from the moment she got free. It was entirely baffling when her race sometimes became an advantage to getting allies.
Carving a home to herself within a world that was either disgusted, terrified or lightly impressed by her would not be easy by any means. But it was okay.
She looked over to the fire where Lotraic told some absurd story about something he probably did not do - not the way he told the story, at least - and Talon pretended to believe him, smiling as he chewed on the night’s roast, and felt her chest prickle with warmth. The first time she realized that she was in love with Lotraic, she had been confused, angry with herself - she just left a position of vulnerability and her heart, for no intelligible reason, decided that that human that looked more like a half giant was the one for her, no questions asked.
And she fumbled a lot with that answer. Why , just why would she fall for him? Not that he did not have his qualities, but at first they were not qualities she thought she wanted in a partner. Hell, she did not even want a partner at that point. She just wanted to survive long enough to see her parents, and maybe kill Dovano too, if things lined up for that.
“Hey,” A voice startled her from her daydreams. It surprised her to realize that she had been so deep inside her head, she did not notice him coming closer. “Aren’t you coming? Talon’s going to eat it all.”
She rolled her eyes, a smile blooming on her lips. “You mean you are going to end up eating it all.”
“I’d never .” His grin was blinding, much brighter than any of those stars she could see peppering the sky around his head.
“Alright, give me just a minute.” She pecked him on the lips and watched as he walked away, back to the fire and the promised food.
Hel got the ring from her pouch - the same ring that had been weighing on her hip for almost a month now, the round star-stone band on her pocket, always reminding her of its presence. Of her choice.
Because wherever the hell she was going from there, she could not envision a home that did not include Lotraic.
And while the ring and all the rituals did not mean the same to him as they did to her, she would at least feel justified in glaring at the opportunistic women in taverns and streets who had no way of knowing that he was taken, thank you very much . He did not give them the time of the day; she knew. But still . If they kept on trying after seeing the big commitment ring on his finger, she would feel less guilty about wanting to slap them back to wherever they came from.
She was working on it, alright?
The drow fiddled with the cold ring and brought it up to eye level, matching the glitters of the stone to the blinking sky. She took a deep breath, eyeing the celestial bodies, a small prayer escaping her lips;
“Wish me luck.”
Hel gave the sky an opportunity to answer - it had, before - but clutched the ring and put it back on his pouch, walking back to the camp in a quick stride, as if afraid to lose her nerve.
She did not see the falling star that fell right as she turned, blessing her plans.
Good luck, indeed .