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It was this time of year. It was Christmas. Every other family would spend it like you would expect: In front of the fireplace and a big tree, with lots of presents and eggnog. But the Hargreeves were no ordinary family, in any regard. In fact, they never really celebrated Christmas at all, Reggy just didn't roll that way. Their idea of Christmas was usually no training and cookies from Grace. No tree, no eggnog or cocoa, no presents.
This year, they wanted to spend it together, like a normal family would do. Well, the normal part was debatable. But they wanted to spend it together nonetheless.
“All right”, Klaus said as he put up the mistletoe. “Everyone who meets under this has to...fuck? Like right under it?”, he asked, earning an eye roll and annoyed moan from everyone. “No Klaus. Not everything is like your perverted mind wants it to be”, Five said, who, understandably, was absolutely done with everything. For him, the way they spent Christmas before was completely fine. But noooo, his siblings were so influenced by the kids from their public school that they wanted to do it like ‘other people’. Well, ‘other people’ didn’t have powers and were bought and raised by a billionaire and his robot housewife. Oh, and not to forget the talking chimpanzee. He was surprised that the old man even approved of this. Well, approved was a strong word. He met the request with a grunt and said that he will be in his study and no one should disturb him. At least one thing was normal.
So there they were, decorating the large living room with stuff they thought were ‘crismassy’. Klaus was putting up the mistletoe, while Luther and Diego were in charge of the christmas tree. What they got was….impressive, to say the least. It reached up to the ceiling and was almost as wide as it was tall. “No Klaus. The two people who meet under the mistletoe have to kiss”, it came from Allison, who was decorating the tree together with Vanya. Klaus let out a sigh and stepped down from the ladder he had been on. “That sounds like it’s gonna be reaaaal disappointing and boring. I bet I can...spice it up.” The suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows alone was too cringey to even look at.
It didn’t take long for the guests to arrive. Those guests being people they knew from school. Were they people four of the seven had a crush on? Definitely. Which made it even better for Luther, Ben and Five, who were surprised that their siblings even had social contacts.
The first two to arrive were Sissy and Eudora. It was an absolute delight to see Vanya and Diego stand next to them awkwardly, the biggest heart eyes and smiles. Five seized that opportunity to put his brother Klaus aside. He had a wonderful idea to make this a little more...exciting. “So I had an idea. What would you say when we, you and I, push one of our siblings and their crush together under the mistletoe?” The thought alone of Diego crashing into Eudora and stuttering once he realizes where they are standing brought a big grin to Klaus’s face. Of course he was in. So he just nodded, ready to start the chaos.
Klaus and Five were practiced in playing pranks at school, so their behavior wasn’t even suspicious. They blended right in, tried to converse with the others, which was just as awkward as you would imagine. Like always, Ben knew his brother’s plan and watched over them from a distance.
It took a bit more time than they hoped. Meanwhile the other two, Raymond and Dave had arrived, and especially the latter made it more difficult, since Klaus had the biggest and gayest crush on him. He really struggled to concentrate and found himself wandering off to him, to talk to him and to laugh at his jokes and….honestly he would risk everything to just look at him. He would have forgotten the entire thing if his brother wouldn’t have jabbed him in the side with his elbow, followed by a deadly glare.
Though it hurt, it brought him back on track. And finally, the moment was there. Diego and Eudora were standing just a few feet away from each other, the mistletoe right between them. Five gave Klaus a nod, and so they began. Klaus went over to Diego, while Five went to Eudora. They masked it well, disguising it as simple smalltalk. Eudora already seemed suspicious, everyone knew Five didn’t do smalltalk. But she didn’t think anything of it. Midtalk, Five nodded at Klaus. In the next moment, the two grabbed their opponent and yeeted them towards the other. “Ow!”, was all you could hear from them, since they bumped their foreheads together violently. “What was that for?”, Diego asked, the usual anger in his voice. Before Klaus or Five could say anything, Eudora looked up and tugged on Diego’s sleeve. He turned his head and looked at her and then also up. “O-oh”, was all he could say and he was ready to walk away, but Eudora wasn’t having it. She pulled him close, giving him a gentle peck on the lips. If he was angry before, all of that had washed off Diego’s face. Now there was only happiness.
“You’re welcome”, Five and Klaus said in unison, fistbumping each other. “You saw that? His reaction was priceless”, Klaus mused and expected to see Dave next to him, but instead he saw him across from him, standing where Eudora had been standing. The person who was next to him now was...Oh no. It was Ben. And Five was next to Dave. The grin on his face went as quickly as it came. Before he could even ask what they were doing, he and Dave were pushed forward, almost crashing together. The glare he gave his brothers could kill people and he wished it would. The audacity…
“Well...Won’t you kiss me?”, he heard Dave ask, leaving him even more speechless. All he could do was nod before they finally kissed.
“I still hate you Five.”