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The BVB locker room, while admittedly almost deathly silent, is mostly devoid of tears. Given that the players have spent most of the past few days crying, it makes sense that at this point, they’ve run out of tears to shed. Now all that remains is the dull, repetitive Why is this happening to us? chorusing through their minds. In the final minutes before vacation officially starts, a few players attempt to put the first half the season behind them and get into the holiday spirit.
“You going anywhere, Captain?” Sven asks.
“Yeah, doing anyone - I mean, anything special?” Kevin grins as he ducks away from Mats’ shove. Mats whips around to glare at Matze and Erik when he hears a cough that sounds suspiciously like Benni's name.
“I’m not doing anything or going anywhere special. How about you, Sven?” Mats asks loudly over the sound of laughing. I’m going to kill those children, he thinks to himself as Sven excitedly tells him about the elaborate plans he and Lars have made for their month off.
“Hey, I gotta go, he’s waiting for me,” Sven says after his phone buzzes twice. The gigantic smile on his face as he glances at the messages confirms that his twin is the sender. “Bye, Mats. Happy holidays! And say hi to Benni from me and Lars!” He winks and then leaves before Mats can process his final words.
Kevin laughs at the confusion on Mats’ face. “Come on, Mats, if you really think there’s anyone on the face of the planet who doesn’t know about you two, you clearly don’t realize how completely obsessed with him you are.”
“I’m not obsessed,” Mats says indignantly. Kevin, Erik, Matze, and even Nuri and Marcel, who have been pretending that they aren’t listening, all give him a look. “What? I'm not!”
“Yeah, alright,” Matze giggles. “Whatever you say, loverboy.”
“Why the rush?” Prince watches as Benni hastily shoves his dirty clothes into his bag and tries to fix his thinning hair with his hands.
“My house has to be clean by five and it’s already three-thirty,” Benni says. “Shit, shit. I’m not going to be done in time.”
“You have family visiting or something?” Dennis asks. He’s never seen his captain this stressed out before.
“Kind of,” Benni says with a vague wave of his hand. “It’s a long story.” He catches Julian’s mischievous grin and throws him a don’t you dare say anything look. Julian pretends to not understand and Benni feels the sudden urge to smack the smile off the boy’s face.
“It’s not that long of a story,” he says cheekily.
“It really is, Julian.” Benni narrows his eyes at the younger player. “And anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I’m not going to be ready in time.”
“You better get going then. Don’t want to keep him - I mean, your family waiting,” Julian smirks.
Benni rolls his eyes. “What are you even doing here, anyway? Don’t you have injury therapy or, I don’t know, anything else at all to do?”
“I wanted to spend the last day before break with you guys. That’s how much I love you,” Julian says. “Though, I can say I don’t love you quite as much as Ma-” Benni’s shoe narrowly misses his head and effectively cuts him off. Dennis and Prince watch the scene unfold in amusement.
Benni quickly retrieves his shoe and gathers his belongings. “Alright, I really do have to go. Bye everyone, have a great break!”
“Have fun with your, um, family.” Prince tries to hide a grin as he says it.
“I’m sure he’ll have lots of fun,” Julian whispers loudly. Benni doesn’t even bother turning around to chastise him as he walks out.
Group Chat created by JuleDraxler10.
JuleDraxler10 added Erik37Durm, MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb.
JuleDraxler10: so was mats freaking out 2?
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: lmfao is that even a question
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: omfg STOP CHANGING MY NAME ERIK
Erik37Durm: NO
Erik37Durm: the plan is all set right?
JuleDraxler10: which plan? plan alpha is ready 2 go. im not quite sure about plan beta
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: y do we have 2 use these weird greek names
Erik37Durm: tru, plan a and plan b would also work
JuleDraxler10: but then it wouldnt b kool like james bond
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: u did NOT just spell cool with a k
JuleDraxler10: at least my username doesnt have a hashtag in it
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: erik -_-
Erik37Durm: :))))))
JuleDraxler10: ok, srsly tho. how r we gonna carry out plan beta
Erik37Durm: i mean, we kno theyre gonna b @ benni’s house all week
Erik37Durm: we could just show up and hope they let us in
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: i mean theyll def let us in /eventually/
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: they might yell @ us or w/e but they wont leave us on the streets
JuleDraxler10: so from there we can convince them 2 follow us and then we can reveal plan alpha
Erik37Durm: im really excited guys! :D
JuleDraxler10: good 4 u erik
MatzeGinter#finallyjoinedbvb: hey dont b mean look @ him hes so adorable
JuleDraxler10: im going to puke. bye. ill deal wth u guys 2morow. b @ my house by 10 am
Mats’ heart is pounding as he gets out of his car. You’re already dating him, idiot, what are you so nervous about? he thinks to himself as he makes his way to the door. There’s the sound of a vacuum cleaner coming from inside the house, and Mats almost doesn’t want to knock in order to not disturb Benni’s cleaning. In the end, though, his desire to see Benni again outweighs any reservations he has and he knocks at the door.
The vacuum stops and is followed by a series of crashes and curses. A few moments later, the door flies open to reveal a very flustered Benni. “Mats! You’re early! Sorry if the place is a mess. Practice ended late and then I got held up in the locker room, you know how Jule can be, and of course I procrastinated last night and -”
He’s cut off abruptly as Mats launches himself at him and plants a kiss on his lips. “Stop worrying so much,” Mats says as they draw apart after several long moments.
“I just wanted our first Christmas together to be perfect,” Benni admits, blushing slightly.
Mats smiles and leans in for another kiss. “There, it’s perfect already.”
Once they’re inside and curled up next to each other on the couch, mugs of hot chocolate in their hands and a Christmas movie playing in the background, Mats takes in the surroundings. “You don’t have a tree?” he asks, surprised.
“I thought we could pick one out tomorrow and decorate it together,” Benni says.
“That’s such a brilliant idea.” Mats snuggles in closer to Benni. It’s quiet for a moment and Mats wonders if this is what true happiness feels like. “What did I do to deserve someone as amazing as you?”
Leaning down to rest his head on Mats’ shoulder, Benni murmurs, “I think I’m the one who should be asking that.”
“Morning.” Mats smiles sleepily.
“Morning, sleepyhead.” Benni puts down his book and admires how beautiful Mats is, even with his curls all messed up and sticking out at odd angles.
“What time is it?” Mats asks, rubbing his eyes and squinting at the sunlight streaming in through the window.
“It’s a little past ten. You passed out last night,” Benni tells him, smiling softly. “You must have been really tired.”
Mats nods. “It’s been stressful lately. You know, with BVB…” He trails off, but he doesn’t need to finish the statement for Benni to know what he means.
Benni leans down to wrap Mats in his arms. “I know I’m not technically supposed to say this, but I believe in you all. I think you guys can recover from this. You just have to keep fighting.”
Mats doesn’t answer. He just buries his face into Benni’s chest and allows himself to be comforted. Benni strokes Mats’ hair as he worries about the amount of distress Mats has fallen victim to. The state of BVB can be seen clearly on Mats’ face, with the new lines of worry and the dark bags under his eyes. Even Erik and Matze seemed to have aged a few years from what Benni can see in their post-match interviews. Benni hugs Mats even tighter, wishing that he could protect Mats from all the evils that come along with playing the game they love.
“By the way, that goal you scored against Bremen was pretty amazing,” Benni says suddenly.
“You saw that?” Mats asks, surprised.
“I watch all your games, Mats,” Benni tells him, smiling fondly.
He knows it’s stupid, because he does exactly the same for Benni, but it warms Mats’ heart to hear Benni say it so casually, like it’s completely natural. They sit in comfortable silence for a bit longer. “Benni?” Mats says it so quietly that Benni almost doesn't hear him. “Benni, I just want to stay here forever.”
Benni opens his mouth to say something, but Mats’ stomach growls, interrupting the moment. “I would love to stay here too, but I think someone needs to eat,” Benni laughs. “I’ll get breakfast going while you wash up.”
Mats walks into the kitchen half an hour later, following the smell of freshly ground coffee beans and pancakes.
“I miss your cooking,” Mats says as walks up behind Benni and wraps him in a hug.
Benni turns around and kisses Mats before saying, “You’re an idiot. I’ve only cooked for you once.”
“And it was the greatest chicken noodle soup I’ve ever had the privilege of eating,” Mats declares. “You, Benedikt Höwedes, are the best cook in Gelsenkirchen.”
“Let’s not go overboard there,” Benni says, but he’s absolutely beaming at the praise. “Come on, I’ll get you a plate.”
“I’ll get the coffee,” Mats offers as Benni arranges stacks of pancakes and fresh fruit onto two plates. As they both move around the kitchen getting things prepared, Mats thinks about how overwhelmingly domestic this all is and how much he loves that feeling. They’re about to sit down and eat when there’s a loud knock on the door. “Were you expecting someone?” Mats asks in confusion.
Benni looks just as bewildered as Mats as he replies, “No, I have no idea who would be here at this time of day…”
Before either of them get the chance to answer the door, however, it bursts open and three figures stumble in. “Surprise!” Julian calls cheerfully.
There’s a few moments of stunned silence where Mats and Benni just stare at the three youngsters, who are grinning at them like Christmas has come a day early. “What are you doing here?” Benni manages to say. “How did you even get in? I definitely locked the door.”
“You gave me your key that one time when you went away and wanted me to house-sit for you,” Julian says. “And we’re here to celebrate this wonderful holiday with you guys!”
“Julian, you’re Jewish,” Mats reminds him, disbelief still written all over his face.
“I’m not!” Erik supplies helpfully. “Christmas is a very important holiday for me.”
“Yes, Erik, we’re all aware,” Matze says, a hint of a smile on his face.
“I smell pancakes,” Julian says. “I want some. Benni makes the best pancakes.”
“You see, I wouldn’t know, because someone had to come barging in,” Mats grumbles, but he doesn’t actually look angry.
Benni sighs. “Well, come on then, everyone. Looks like we’re all celebrating Christmas together. I guess I have to make another batch of pancakes.”
“I’ll help. The kids can eat first.” Mats follows Benni into the kitchen.
“They better wash their hands, though,” Benni says loudly enough that they’ll hear him. “Or they’re not getting anything!”
Benni and Mats are unable to start their second batch of pancakes for the next few minutes because the youngsters insist on using the kitchen sink and end up splashing soap-water all over the place.
“These are so good!” Matze exclaims once they’ve settled down and he’s taken his first bite. “Almost better than the mac and cheese in Brazil.”
“True, that mac and cheese was heavenly,” Erik agrees. “But these are probably godsent also.”
“Well, I mean, they were made by an angel,” Mats whispers to Benni, causing the blond to blush deeply.
“Shut up and try this.” Benni feeds a forkful of his special pancake to Mats. “Should I add more or less milk?”
“It’s perfect,” Mats tells him truthfully. “You’re perfect.”
“Alright, so what are our plans for today?” Julian asks. “Also, I can’t believe you made us do the dishes. What are we, your children?”
“You’re the ones who randomly showed up on our doorstep,” Mats says. “And yeah, according to like, half the national team, you are our children. Or adopted children, anyway.”
“And we were planning to go Christmas tree shopping and spend the day decorating,” Benni adds. “You don’t have to stay for that if you don’t want to.”
“No way, that’s my favorite part!” Erik says excitedly. “Besides going to church, of course. That’s obviously the most important thing to do.”
“You’re gonna make us go to church, aren’t you?” Matze sighs. Erik gives him a look and Matze sighs again. “Yup, he’s gonna make us go to church.”
“Okay, that’s great and all, but why don’t we take this one step at a time and focus on the tree for now?” Mats suggests.
“Everyone put on jackets and gloves. We have to get there before all the good trees get taken. I know a place that specializes in last minute sales for idiots like us.” Benni grabs his car keys and gently shoves everyone out the door.
“Benni?” Julian taps on Benni's shoulder before he can even back out of the garage. “Benni, can you turn on the radio?”
Benni rolls his eyes. “Which station?”
“Any station with Christmas music!” Erik exclaims.
“Please not the preachy type. If I hear Jesus’ name one more time...well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but it won’t be good,” Matze says. “Erik’s made me listen to that every day for the past two weeks.”
Benni reaches toward the stereo at the same time Mats does, their hands meeting in the middle. Mats smiles and gives Benni’s hand a squeeze. “You drive, I’ll find a station they won’t complain too much about.”
Five minutes later, Benni is wishing he hadn’t picked a car with what seems like the loudest stereo system in the world. The four other passengers in the car don’t seem to notice Benni’s distress as they sing along at the top of their lungs.
“Oh my god, Mats,” Benni groans when Mats attempts to hit Mariah Carey's high notes. “You’re killing me here.”
“You love it,” Mats grins, and Benni can’t even deny that, so he rolls his eyes and focuses on the road instead.
They arrive in a packed parking lot, full of parents rushing to get a last minute tree to appease their children’s wishes. The five of them file through a gate with the rest of the families.
“Whoa.” Erik’s eyes widen when he sees rows upon rows of trees. He stands in the middle of the crowd staring in amazement, drawing a few glares from stressed moms.
“Come on, Erik, I think that lady is going to kill you if you don’t move.” Matze tugs Erik’s wrist to get his attention.
The lady’s daughter seems to be thinking on a different wavelength than her mother. Her mouth drops open when she realizes who is causing the traffic. The little girl pulls on her mother's sleeve and points at the five football players. “Not now, sweetie, I’m busy,” the mother says distractedly.
Benni notices the girl staring and smiles. “Hi. What’s your name?” He squats down and offers his hand for the girl to shake.
“Stefanie.” She shakes his hand shyly. “You’re Captain Höwedes. Daddy yells at you all the time when we watch matches.” Benni laughs and offers to sign something to take home to her dad.
Mats watches Benni wave goodbye to the young girl, utter adoration written all over his face. “Hey, are you ready to pick out a tree?” Benni returns to Mats’ side.
“Yeah.” Mats takes Benni’s hand and they walk to the first row of trees. “Benni?” Mats stops after the third tree. “Remember how I said I wouldn’t mind having kids with you? Back in Brazil, the day we-” he trails off.
“I remember.” Benni smiles at the memory.
“Well, it’s still true. I think you’d be a great dad and well, I’ll learn,” Mats says, blushing.
“Can you two do this later? It’s cold and I want to pick out a tree now,” Julian huffs. “Like, you’re cute and blah blah blah, but let’s go already.”
“Yeah, my hands are cold,” Erik whines. He rubs his hands together in an attempt to regain feeling in them.
“My hands are warm, here.” Matze offers his hand and Erik gratefully accepts.
“Great.” Julian rolls his eyes. “Now that we’ve got all that sorted out, can we actually do this?”
Mats and Benni lead the way forward with Matze and Erik behind them and Julian grumpily trailing in the back.
After strolling through a few rows, they all suddenly stop. “Wow,” Erik says in wonder. “This one is perfect.”
“Come on, let’s find someone to get the tree for us.” Mats drags Benni off to find an assistant.
“There’s a branch in my face.” Julian swats at the offending branch, only to have it swing back and hit him on the nose, much to the amusement of Erik and Matze.
“Hold on, you’re nearly there,” Erik calls from inside the apartment.
“I don’t understand why they don’t have to help,” Julian complains, gesturing vaguely towards where Erik and Matze are watching them and not even trying to hide their laughter.
“I’ll make you hot chocolate first, okay? Now turn a little to the left,” Benni tells him.
As the three of them struggle to set up the tree, Matze pulls Erik aside. “Erik, look what I found.” He takes a sprig of mistletoe out of his pocket. “We should hang it up somewhere.” They wander over to the entrance to Benni’s kitchen. Matze drags a chair over and climbs on to fasten the mistletoe in the archway. “How does it look?” he asks as he gets down from the chair.
“It looks good,” Erik says appreciatively. He looks at Matze, and then a sudden realization strikes him. “Wait. Matze, we’re standing under it.”
Matze stares at the mistletoe above them. “Oh.” He blushes and looks back at Erik. There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence until Matze clears his throat. “Well, it’s tradition, right?”
“Right,” Erik squeaks, his face turning just as red as Matze’s. Matze leans in slightly, hesitating as he tries to see what Erik will do. Erik doesn’t show any signs of moving away and Matze takes this as a sign to close the remaining inches separating them.
“Hey, what - oh my god, are you kidding me?” Julian’s exasperated voice cuts through the moment and has them leaping apart in shock. He throws his hands up in defeat. “I give up. Honestly, please only come back to the living room once you’re done making out or whatever. We’re gonna start decorating soon.” He walks out again, mumbling something about having to bleach his eyes.
“Ummm.” Matze winces at how awkward he sounds. Eriks grins shyly at him and quickly pecks his lips again before running out after Julian. Matze stands in the same spot for a few more seconds, smiling stupidly to himself. It isn’t until Erik calls his name that he hurries to join the rest of the “family.”
The living room is littered with brightly colored ornaments and strings of lights. Benni is sitting in a pile of tinsel, admiring the view as Mats reaches up to hang the final ornament onto the tree. “Does it look okay from down there?” Mats calls down.
“Mhmm,” Benni says distractedly. “It looks really great from here.”
“Can I put the star on the top?” Julian begs. “I’ve always wanted to put the star on the tree.”
“Of course, Jule,” Mats sats. “Here, do you need a lift?”
Julian gives him a look. “You do know you’re not actually my dad, right?”
“How else are you going to reach?” Mats says.
“You’re standing on a ladder,” Julian deadpans.
“Stop ruining the spirit, Jule,” Benni scolds. “Just go with it.”
Mats is rudely awoken when the bedroom door is kicked open by three very loud, very excited youngsters.
“Get up, get up, it’s Christmas!” Julian leaps onto the bed and shakes Benni, who groans and buries his face in Mats’ chest.
“Put on your shirts. I want to open presents.” Erik throws two Schalke t-shirts at Mats and Benni’s faces.
“Alright, alright, we’ll be there in a minute.” Benni shoves Julian off the bed. “You guys are way too big to be doing the whole ‘jumping on the bed’ thing, I hope you realize that.”
“Just come down quick,” Matze says, and they all run back downstairs.
“I guess we should go,” Mats sighs.
Benni finally opens his eyes and smiles sleepily up at him. He sits up and pecks Mats on the lips. “Merry Christmas, Mats.”
Mats smiles. “Our first Christmas together. You ready?”
“Of course.”
The fireplace is crackling, the tree lights are twinkling, and the sound of crinkling wrapping paper and laughter fill the room.
“I can’t believe you got Erik hair gel of all things.” Matze laughs when Erik opens his gift from Mats and Benni.
“I mean, he steals everyone else’s all the time,” Mats grins. “It’s only fair that the poor kid finally gets his own.”
“Open mine next,” Matze says. He tosses a crudely wrapped parcel at Erik, who unwraps it eagerly.
“That’s sickeningly cute,” Julian says grudgingly when Erik reveals a small teddy bear: the exact copy of the one from his childhood.
Erik turns to wipe a tear away before he attacks Matze with a hug. “I love it. But how’d you get this?”
“You told me that you lost it when you moved out of your parents’ place so I asked your parents for some pictures and I had Steiff make a replica,” Matze says. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Alright, alright, let’s move on,” Julian grumbles. “Benni’s gift to Mats is next.”
Benni is blushing when he hands his gift to Mats. “I didn’t know what to get you, but I got some inspiration from Lukas, so I hope you like it.”
Mats carefully tears off the red wrapping paper to find a leatherbound book with the words “für meine Mats” inscribed in gold on the cover. He opens the book to the first page and sees a picture of himself sharing a piece of Nutella-covered toast with Benni. Underneath the picture, Benni has written “the first time you smiled at my jokes.” The rest of the scrapbook is arranged in the same fashion: a picture followed by a sentence.
“I only filled out the first half of it. I figured we could add more as we go along,” Benni says, sounding a little nervous. “Do you like it?”
“Benni, this is…” Mats looks at a loss for words. “I, I don’t know if there are enough words, there’s never enough, but -” He fumbles through the pile of gifts and wrapping paper, searching for the small black box.
Benni looks confused as the three youngsters start hyperventilating. “What’s going on?”
Mats finds what he’s looking for and Benni feels his heart stop as Mats gets down on one knee. “Benni, I know we’ve only been together for six months and this seems really early, but we’ve known each other for five years now, and they’ve been the best five years of my life. And we avoided actually doing this, you know, being together, for a long time, even though I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you like, as soon as I saw you. But once we finally did it, I realized that I will never want anything, anyone, else. You’re the most amazing person I know and I love you so so much. Benedikt Höwedes, will you -” Mats’ voice breaks. He takes a shaky breath and tries again. “Will you marry me?”
Benni hasn’t even tried to stem the flow of tears. He pulls Mats up and kisses him, holding him tightly and never wanting this moment to end. There’s a camera flash and clapping from the observers.
“So, is that a yes?” Mats breathes once they break apart.
Benni’s face hurts from smiling so hard. “Yes,” he whispers. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”
Mats feels an overwhelming surge of joy as he slides the ring onto Benni’s finger. It’s a delicate band of white gold with some writing engraved on it. “Read it,” Mats says softly.
“Echte Liebe,” Benni reads, smiling gently as he realizes the significance of the words. “Mats, it’s beautiful.”
“I helped pick it out,” Erik says. “And we also have a small black box to give you guys. It’s not a ring though, sorry.” He hands Mats and Benni a box with a small red bow taped on the top.
Benni opens the box and looks questioningly at the three boys. “It’s just a key and a piece of paper.”
“Maybe you should look at the piece of paper,” Julian suggests sarcastically.
The paper has the address of a house in Werne written on it. “I still don’t get it,” Mats says.
“I think it’s time for a change of scenery. Why don’t we go give this place a visit?” Matze says with a sly grin on his face.
Thirty minutes later, the five of them find themselves turning onto the driveway of a beautiful brick building.
“There’s a staircase in the back, where it’s nice and hidden from any prying eyes. You guys should go up to the third floor,” Julian says.
Benni and Mats climb the staircase up and enter a warmly lit hall. They round a corner and see two Germany jerseys hanging in front of a door.
“Four and five. Add them together and you get apartment number nine, if I’m not mistaken. My math is better than Marco’s, last time I checked,” Matze says. “That key will probably come in handy now.”
Benni takes out the key, unlocks the door, and walks in with Mats behind him. A giant “Welcome Home” banner is strung across a cozy living room. “What is this?” Benni asks in amazement.
“Well, consider this your engagement present. A nice little hide-away directly in between Gelsenkirchen and Dortmund for you two. You’re welcome. We know, we’re awesome,” Julian grins. A second later, he’s engulfed in hugs from both Mats and Benni.
“Get over here.” Mats gestures for Matze and Erik to join them. “Thank you guys so much. This is absolutely perfect.”