Work Text:
Murphy's law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong".
Sejun
"What? Seryoso ka ba? Are you really blaming me for this shitfest of a traffic jam?"
Stell leaned on the window, his nose almost touching the glass as if he has no intention to pay attention to me. This has been going on for nearly 8 hours. Us going in and out of a word war since we got caught in this 'Carmageddon 2.0' in the stretch of NLEX.
It's December 31 and we left our families alone to hopefully spend our first New Year as a couple together. We've both been anticipating it. Both excited when I asked him to drive up to Sagada so we can spend the first minute of the year in a quiet place, away from the noise. Together.
I have the whole scenario in mind. I booked us a really nice cliffside log cabin facing the sunrise, so that when we welcome the first morning of the year, we'd be one and at peace in nature. Birds chirping around us. The sound of waterfalls in the distance.
I'd be waking up before the sun rises, staring at Stell's whole face. Maybe touching or kissing all his beauty marks, moles, fine lines. I'd take in the beauty beside me before I take in the beauty outside. Because whether I admit it or not, Stell's presence is what makes every waking hour worth it. I am so inlove with him that even his mere shadow can make my heart beats so fast.
But all of these plans might just turn into stone, because it's been 8 hours since we left and we're still stuck here in the car, in the middle of a traffic jam that seems endless. Eight hours wasted fighting every other hour, tolerating each other's presence because all Stell wants right now is for me to turn back the car so he can spend time with his family instead of me.
Stell
"Murphy's Law! Sabi ko Murphy's Law. Si Murphy ka ba?" This is the third time that I raised my voice at him in a span of 8 hours. And I kind of feel guilty, but all of this unluckiness stemmed from him being late picking me up this morning.
We were supposed to leave by 4am, but he picked me up an hour late because of so many excuses.
'I had to go back home, I left something.'
'I had to gas up.'
'I bought us breakfast.'
Ok, so that last one was really sweet, but I woke up really early because he said he'd be here by then. If I knew he'd be late, I would have slept 30 minutes more.
If he was not late, we wouldn't have been infront of a multiple collision. We heard no one was hurt thank God, but several vehicles have piled up blocking the road. Then pair it with the holiday rush. It's a recipe for disaster.
Looks like people collectively decided they'd take their vacation in the north. I know Sagada won't be as peaceful and that's another problem, stemming from the plan. It's a holiday and for sure everyone would either be in La Union, Vigan, Baguio, Benguet and Sagada, so the roads are definitely clogged.
Sejun was pretty excited when he told me about his plans. And to be honest, I was really excited as well. To be with him. Just him. To welcome the New Year.
It's our first New Year as a couple but we've known each other for a while. We have a friend to lovers trope so even before we realized we have feelings for each other, we've been pretty comfortable in our relationship as friends.
We know each other so well, both good and bad. We've seen each other at our worst. Drunken moments, katangahan moments, silly moments. We've seen each other cry with snot and all, over heartaches, both shallow and deep. I've seen him fall in love and had his heart broken. I helped him mend it. And so we ended up here.
There's definitely magic in knowing the person you're in a relationship with in and out. But it also means you know everything there is to know about them, specially their bad habits that you now have to deal with and expected to understand since you need to love them unconditionally. Which is honestly so stressful sometimes.
He drives us most of the time, so I know that he has a tendency to be late. Which makes me mad at him a lot specially because I hate being late at appointments. So him being late now should be something I'm used to by now. But for once, I thought he'd be so excited to have this roadtrip with me that he'd have everything ready in time.
I was excited for this. It's been a while since we had a long roadtrip. Our last one was Baler and that was when we're not officially dating yet. We used to drive up to different parts of Luzon before and we have been to Sagada with friends. But never just the two of us like this.
I had some things planned. We have set 12 hours travel time, but with the new highways, I know that with decent speed, we can get to Baguio in 4 hours. I planned on taking him to a fancy lunch at Hill Station since he told me he wanted to try it. And then if we have extra time, hangout for a bit at Cafe de Batirol for a cup of hot chocolate.
But all those plans will remain at that, because everything wrong that's supposed to happen is now happening.
I shouted at him, again, with the full intention of doing it and he has now kept his mouth shut as the wheels of the car move inch by inch. It's been 8 hours. I'm annoyed and hungry and I badly want to lay my head on a pillow.
I glanced at Sejun who's trying to keep his composure but failing. His thick eyebrows meet in the middle like 2 angry catterpillars waiting to wrestle. His lips are pursed so tight that if I kiss him right now, they would feel like stone and his dark eyes are transfixed on the long line of vehicles that makes NLEX looks like a parking lot.
I pulled my hoodie down my face and leaned back on the head rest and closed my eyes, hoping that by the time I wake up, we're halfway to our destination.
Sejun
Call me stubborn. I don't care. We are both stubborn and Stell knows it.
He's been asleep for about an hour. And the anger brewing inside of me since we had our last word war sort of dissipated as I look at him with his arms over his chest, breathing delicately without a care in the world. His deep set eyes and matching long eyelashes are moving involuntarily. His always plump lips slightly open. How can I ever get mad at him if he looks like an angel, even with his hoodie shading his face?
I didn't intend to actually get mad at him. Even if things are all going in the wrong direction. But when we're both set to be right, it gets hard to control the emotions.
We're going into 10 hours in this car and we're finally about to reach a gasoline station along the way. It's been 4 hours since our last stop and Stell must be hungry but refuses to say anything.
When I entered a rest stop, I had to control myself from cursing because the whole place is also filled to the brim without any parking space. I can't just order drive through now, because we both needed to use the restroom for sure because we don't know for how long we will be stuck in traffic and this situation just got more annoying. Fucking Murphy's Law.
I had to wait another 30 mins to be able to find a parking spot. And when I did, I turned the engine off and breathe a little before I focused my attention on Stell.
I placed my hand on top of his knee, leaning a bit so he can hear me.
"Love, wake up." I cooed quietly running my palm from his knee to his thigh.
Stell shifted his head and it hangs on the side without waking him up.
I scooched closer, the back of my thigh going over the hand break and placed Stell's head carefully on my shoulder. I looked down on him and sighed, regretting all the harsh words I had to throw at him earlier out of frustrations.
I interlaced our fingers together and after a while, the tiredness from driving took over me more than the hunger and I closed my eyes as well.
Stell
There are familiar hands clasping mine when I got out of slumber. For a bit there, I felt disoriented when I realized my head is on someone's shoulder and that someone is leaning on my head too.
I tried not to move so I won't disturb him, but when I looked at the dash, I realized the time.
"Shit!" I exclaimed as I pulled away from the backrest, making Sejun's head and half of his body fall on to the back rest of my seat.
"What?!" He said startled as he rubs his eyes of sleep.
"Anong oras na, Sejun. Bakit di mo ko ginising. Kanina pa ba tayo dito?" I asked him in a panic. What the hell am I panicking for?
Sejun glanced at the clock on the dash.
"Yeah, around 1.5 hours. Sorry I fell asleep." He yawned and I felt the tiredness in his voice.
I know in my heart I am being too mellow dramatic, but the time we spent here means time away from the vacation we both want.
"It's okay, pero kasi sayang yung oras. Sana ginising mo din ako para hindi tayo stuck dito."
"Are you hungry?" He asked. And I heard my stomach growling for the first time.
He smirked after hearing it and his followed soon after.
Sejun grabbed for my hand and placed it over his lips to graze a kiss over it. "Truce? Let's eat first and worry later."
My annoyance with him throughout the day is not easy to get over, specially when I haven't heard an apology, but he's right. We're both tired and hungry, so relying on each other is a much better way.
Sejun
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
I can't help to think that I'm cursed after lining up at everything here. The fast food has a line. The restroom has a line. The gas station has a line. Even going for coffee has a line. What's supposed to be a 30-minute stopover routine turned into two hours because we had to line up for everything.
And the highway is still filled with vehicles like a parking lot. It's been 12 hours, the time we alloted to get to Sagada and we're still stuck in this shitty situation.
When we got to the car, Stell stood infront of me with his hand stuck out as if asking for something.
"Keys." He said plainly.
He's looking at the keys in my hand. "Why?" I asked.
"You've been driving for 10 hours. Let me drive us kahit until Baguio lang."
I don't want to give it to him. Not because I don't trust him to be able to drive. But Murphy's Law. I don't want to stir up the situation only for Murphy's Law to come for us again.
"I'm fine, Love. I'll drive. Promise ok lang." I told him, getting a bit closer to him, making him feel there's nothing to worry about. Even if my right foot actually feels numb from driving.
"Ako na nga kasi! Sige na." He insisted.
I opened the car door and let myself in the driver's seat and Stell stood there looking at me as if I insulted him.
He moved to the passenger side, opened the door and slammed it shut and ignored me the rest of the ride.
The cars started moving a bit faster by the 14th hour. In the horizon, I can see the sun's about to set giving the highway an orange glow.
Stell loves the sunset as much as he loves the sunrise, but I can't talk to him properly after what I did earlier. His gaze is stuck on his phone monitor without showing any signs that he wants to talk to me or to comment on the surrounding.
This situation is fucked up, but outside, the glow of the setting sun with hues of orange and purple is straight out of a painting. Everything is not going well, but the surrounding right now is telling us that things will let up.
"Love?" I glanced at him quickly, keeping my eyes on the road where cars are starting to move in a steady pace.
He didn't respond.
"Stell, look outside, ang ganda ng sunset oh. You want to take a photo?"
I saw his eyes flicker up, but remained to be unbothered.
"Stell, we're both tired and sleepy. Can we just let this go and enjoy the rest of this trip?"
"You know I sometimes regret being friends, before we're together?" He said without any warning.
We are going in a serious territory where each other is the problem and not just the situation and I don't like it. We're stuck in this car for a few more hours and I don't think I can go on talking about this.
"Stell, can we not?" I begged.
"Can we not what? Discuss na we were only together because you thought I saved you from a heartache? Are we really supposed to be together kung eto pa lang pinag-aawayan natin? Sometimes you don't even trust me to do something, like kanina." He's still looking out and avoiding eye contact.
This is not the first time this happened. Being friends put us in a situation where we can both easily speak our minds. But sometimes our own insecurities get in the way of talking it out properly, so we end up bickering.
Making up after a fight is undoubtedly amazing, but I wish we didn't have to fight just to have amazing moments like that.
I didn't say anything about what he said, just to avoid confrontation. But that means he will think I don't care and I was right.
"You always do this Sej. When I want to talk you'll clam up and leave me hanging."
"Love, can we rest for a bit. I just want to get us to where we should go fast. Gusto ko na din magpahinga." I said with a weak voice.
"Yeah, maybe we should." Stell said before pulling up his hoodie again. Another period of silence.
Will this ever end?
Stell
Sixteen hours on the road and we finally reach Baguio. By this time I just want to get us an inn somewhere so we can both rest and just skip midnight. Nothing ia going right and I feel like we're both drowning in pride and restlessness.
We were in close proximity, fighting for too long. I just want to hug my Sejun. The cold Baguio weather is making me homesick and I just want him to wrap me in his arms. But we're fighting and it's hard to go back to being okay after a fight like this. It's cold war and I don't know how to be the one to end it. So I kept my mouth shut before I say anything that could potentially make it worse.
We ate dinner in silence. I didn't get to take him to where I he wants to go because he insisted we just drive all the way to Sagada so we can be there right after midnight. We both know it's not the right decision. But we are both stubborn. And without each other to keep us grounded, we make bad decisions.
The long and winding road is eerily quiet with just a few cars passing us by. Probably in the same situation as us. Getting to our destination before the clock strikes twelve.
I know he's used to driving and we've been in this situation before, him driving at this hour. But we were happy then. Now, aside from the sound of the engine, there is nothing. I made a playlist for a nice roadtrip, but it feels weird playing it now when we're both too absorbed in what we are feeling.
Another two hours and no one dares to make a move.
15 minutes to midnight and we're in the middle of nowhere. Far from our families, far from where we are supposed to be. And the worst of all, far from each other even if we're just a few feet apart.
Eraserhead's Kalayaan played and I cleared my head to listen. It's one of his favorite songs.
'Sa ilalim ng iisang bubong
Mga sikretong ibinubulong
Kahit na anong mangyari
Kahit na saan ka man patungo
Ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
Sana'y huwag kalimutan ang ating mga pinagsamahan
At kung sakaling gipitin ay laging iisipin
Na minsan tayo ay naging
Tunay na magkaibigan
Minsan ay hindi mo na alam ang nangyayari
Kahit na anong gawin
Lahat ng bagay ay merong hangganan
Dahil ngayon tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon
Di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan'
There are songs that are way too painful and obvious , but there songs that just barely graze your soul. And once you lets it sink in, it delivers the message like a punch.
Did we make a mistake of being together, sacrificing our friendship for a relationship that may not be able to last? May hangganan ba talaga lahat ng bagay? Even if I love him and he loves me?
10 minutes to midnight and a tear fell from my face. The moment it does, I felt gravel under the car and it stopped moving. Sejun turned off the e gine and looked at me.
"Stell, do you really think being friends before being in this relationship is so bad?"
Another tear fell and I bowed ny head as more beads of tears fall from my eyes.
Sejun
The last thing I want is to see him cry. It took almost a day for him to be this way. Yes we were fighting, but we were both in over our heads that we forgot that we love each other so much. When you're mad, it's easy to forget.
Eight minutes to midnight and we're in the middle of nowhere, with only the lights of the car illuminating us.
Anything that could go wrong will go wrong.
I lifted his chin up to face me. I wiped his tears away.
"I don't understand why people are scared to love their friends. Madaming bagay na pwedeng maging mali, pero feeling ko, more beautiful things will come out of it, being friends before being in a relationship.
We know each other so well and it gives me more reason to take care of the relationship we have, kasi aside sa ayokong mawala ka as a boyfriend, ayoko din mawalan ng bestfriend."
Six minutes to midnight.
"I'm sorry for this shitty day, Love. I should have known better. I would have planned well. Now we're in the middle of nowhere in the dark to start our New Year. Your Murphy's Law kicked us both in the ass today."
Stell
Five minutes to midnight and I can't take the space between us anymore, both real and metaphorical, so I threw myself in his arms. He hugged me so tight in return that I feel like all the pains and tiredness I'm feeling disappeared.
We both glanced at the clock and it's three minutes before midnight.
He excused himself to reach for his backpack at the back seat.
He pulled two party hat and a box of sprinklers and a small paper bag.
"I left these so I had to go back home. You want to light it up?" He asked as we open the car door.
He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit two sparklers passing it to me. We wore the party hat and we look silly in the dark.
The sparklers lent the only light we have aside from the car headlight.
Before I can look at my watch to see 00:00, Sejun scooped me in his arms and kissed me. The sparklers dropped on the floor, setting light on our feet as the two of us got enveloped in darkness, with our lips on each other.
When he pulled back, he faced me and said,
"I love you Stell. I love all the times we spent together, all the experiences we shared. I love you more because we're bestfriends before anything else. And I will never ever think of that as a reason to not stay together."
"I love you too. I'm sorry for earlier. Alam mo naman na I tend to overthink. And I'm so scared kanina sa lahat ng mga nangyari. But I feel the same. I love you as a friend and that's not a bad thing and it doesn't mean I don't love you more than that. It just means our foundation is what makes me love you like this.
We hugged each other one last time as the sprinklers die down on our feet, leaving the headlight as the only thing illuminating us.
We got back into the car with a weight lifted and a different mindset. Yes, anything that can go wrong will go wrong according to Murphy's Law. But every negative has a positive and now we choose to believe in Yhprum's Law: Everything that can work, will work.
-end-