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all alone you count the days

Summary:

“A storm is coming,” she was not one to deviate from topics, especially when it came to them. Percy had his share of time with her to know the raindrops about to fall were not what was being addressed.

perhaps angst is my default

Notes:

my thoughts on what happened a few years after 'your lips, my lips (apocalypse)' epilogue, you might want to read that first (chef kiss)

Work Text:

"And with all these clouds high above you

I guess it's gonna rain

Now there's no one left to love you

It'll never be the same"

Never Be The Same - One Night Only


 

Zeus has always had a tendency of mocking him, making the smallest of details shine in his view, showing how much of his life was decided before he could even spare a thought on the matter.

Today was no different. The sky was showing him the stormy gray before a storm, her storm.

He knows what’s about to come.

The first thing the god does is to check on his sleeping fifteen year old son. Everett was looking peaceful on his bed. A giggle escaped Perseus’ lips before he could contain himself when he caught eyes on the little stain in the pillow, right above the child’s mouth.

This was the one trait he was most proud to have passed down to his kid. Breathing under bodies of water, controlling it, making small earthquakes - these were all things a god would pass down to their offspring. Drooling in his sleep had nothing godly attached to it - this was a feature earned from humans. As if the god had a human side too. It should not make him feel so good, but it did.

Everything would be easier if all this boy could get from him was normal traits and mannerisms.

The door is carefully closed, one last look is spared through the window to the stormy sky.

He knows what’s about to come.

Walking through the quiet hallway is nothing compared to the dead silence once he enters their room.

She’s sitting on their bed, legs crossed, eyes fixed on the window, the view quickly cut in half by a lightning. They both wait to hear the thunder for what seems to be hours, but it only takes mere seconds.

The door is soon closed behind him and a few shy steps are taken in her direction.

She knows what’s about to come.

“I thought about it,” Annabeth says with an uncertainty he had never quite seen in her. Not when she whispered the softest ‘fuck’ he’d ever heard someone say in his entire existence, right before diving from 1,250 feet into solid concrete. Even that was said with a stupid conviction only she could carry inside her prideful soul.

And definitely not when she promised him to think about it, fourteen years ago.

“I know you did,” no light could be seen in his eyes. He knew what both those moments had in common.

Suddenly, his legs are cold. This was not a conversation to be held dressed in a toga, so he quickly changes into comfortable sweatpants while approaching her.

“A storm is coming,” she was not one to deviate from topics, especially when it came to them. Percy had his share of time with her to know the raindrops about to fall were not what was being addressed.

“You’re right - as always,” he humorously adds. In other times, a smile would have been seen in the corner of her mouth.

Not today.

Percy sits in their bed, hugging her while eyeing the skies from her shoulder, soon his gaze wanders to other places. He’s not strong enough to look into Annabeth’s eyes or anything that could remind him of them, it’s painful enough how it is.

So instead, he presses his forehead to the exposed part of her back and lays his hand on her shoulders.

She knows what’s about to come.

“We don’t have more time, babe. I wish I could give you more time, but I can’t,” Percy whispers.

“It’s okay,” it does not feel okay at all. “I thought about it.”

“A drachma for your thoughts then,” he tries for humor and she actually chuckles this time around.

“Good to know a drachma is all my thoughts are worth,” Annabeth doesn’t have to say what she’s thinking, Percy knows her, like no one ever did. She wasn’t one for stalling, so before he could come up with a funny comeback, she added “I can’t do this, I’m so sorry.”

He tightens his grip on her shoulder and presses his lips against her bare skin.

“That’s okay,” nothing about this is okay. “That’s fine, we will figure it out.”

“Percy...” She takes one of his hands in her own firmly. “We figured it out already, this - this is us figuring it out, the life we have - it’s exactly what we planned it to be back then.”

“I want more time!” His whisper comes through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you that,” her voice was so fragile, like she was about to burst into tears.

He should have never asked her that in the first place, Percy knows he was being selfish. The demigod had denied immortality more than once and although the question as to why, made so many times to her, remains unanswered by herself, the god knew it, all along.

“No, Annabeth,” he holds her closer with his free arm, “I’m not letting you blame yourself for any of this.”

“I need you to know that I’m not denying spending forever with you, I - you have to know that –”

“I know that!”

“You hear what I’m saying, you just don’t understand, Percy! I can’t –”

“You may sometimes forget how old I am, but I never do. It’s not me you’re afraid of sharing an unlimited amount of time with, right? Believe me, I know, Annabeth. It does get scary sometimes…” She grabs his hand with more strength. “Inside my head. I know, I just do, okay?” 

He does understand it. Just like her, Perseus was afraid of living with himself for eternity. With Annabeth, the god has an ounce of normalcy he had never been able to grasp before. All he wants is to keep it, she makes him feel lighter. When he is here, with his family, he’s no longer a destroyer. 

The room is filled with a white light that goes away as fast as it came. He hugs her tighter for a few seconds before the thunder can be heard. They both wish it had felt like hours.

 “Okay,” she whispers.

Their faiths intertwined in so many other lives, some of them must have a happy ending. It’s what he tells himself. 

Her heart is broken now and as much as she chose this, Percy can’t stop his mind from thinking how he was able to destroy the very person he loves the most.

He wraps his arms around her and they lay in bed. Savouring the moment, as if this is going to be the last time they have the chance to do as such.

The storm is raging outside. Still, the only thing they hear is their breaths slowly evening out. Nothing can take away what they built.

When he is at home, he’s no longer a destroyer.

Except he still is.