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Tommy’s back at his vacation home. It’s been two years since he'd last been here, ever since he was exiled by his former best friend. Nothing much has changed except for the boy within it.
These days Tommy has been quiet and no one is quite sure what to do about it. He flinches when people call out his name but his eyes sparkle when Dream comes to check on him. His entire body freezes when they tap his shoulder but yet it melts whenever Dream puts his arm around him.
No one is certain what happened between them during Tommy’s two years of exile, but they can’t tell if they approve of this relationship.
The boy smiles gently, which would have been a rare sight two years ago. Tommy tends to his cow and feeds it hay he’s grown. Its skin is smooth and warm to the touch and Tommy sighs contentedly.
“You know, Harry.” He strokes the cow’s skin lovingly. “I had four cows before you.”
He remembers Harold, his first ever pet. He remembers loving it like a brother, smiling like a sun whenever he came home to it. He recounts their memories to Harry, but his voice wavers when he remembers Sapnap killing it. He shuts up and continues to the next.
Tommy happily remembers Harvey. He used to look up at him with big round eyes and Tommy couldn’t resist not keeping it. But then it went away in the middle of the night and Tommy’s chest ache as he shakily describes how cold that night was.
Henry was his favorite, the cow he’d shared the most. He felt that Henry loved him back too, with his gentle moos and nuzzles. Sometimes Tommy would fall asleep crying into Henry’s side, flashes of Eret and the button, Dream and his bow, Wilbur and his eyes, and Henry would fall asleep with him with rhythmic breathing.
Sapnap yet killed him again. Tommy closes his eyes to repress the memory and moves on.
This cow was different. Mushroom Henry was a pity gift from Antfrost (who is that? does tommy know him? a pair of cat ears enter his mind, but he does not remember clearly). He claims it was a pity gift. He used to look at him in disdain, saying that no one could ever replace Henry, but when Tommy’s exile was so black-and-white, he’d sit in the corner of Logstedshire and gaze at his bright red. He remembers poking Mushroom Henry in awe as he observes how mushrooms grow on his back and gasp in delight when he nuzzles into his palm like how Henry used to.
The loud boom of TNT suddenly echoes in Tommy’s memories, a disappointed emerald gaze, and “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tommy.” He remembers crying over Mushroom Henry’s corpse while Dream walked away. Tommy suddenly has difficulty breathing.
He loves them so much, his cows. He loves Harold, Harvey, Henry, Mushroom Henry, and Harry. But they keep dying and leaving him, Tommy’s hands shake as he brings Harry closer.
“They– They keep leaving, Harry.” Tommy’s voice wavers. “My cows– I love all of you so much, but I’m not good enough. Harry, Harry, everyone’s leaving me, Harry. I love everyone so much, I–I just wanna do what’s right but I don’t know what’s right so I keep messing stuff up and now I’m alone and everyone hates me–“
Tommy can’t breathe.
“You guys keep dying! I’m trying to be a good owner and I’ve failed you all! I’ve failed everyone I’ve failed L’Manburg, I–!”
Tommy can’t breathe. Why is his heart so loud?
“You keep dying… I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die–“
There’s a rush of footsteps, four people crowd him at once and it’s getting harder to breathe for Tommy. Someone shouts an order to give him space but it only makes him flinch and cling to Harry more. The boom in his voice is the boom of a TNT. Harry is so warm.
“I’ll die I’ll die I’ll die I don’t wanna die, Harry, I don’t wanna!” Tommy cries out and sobs into Harry. Harry moos gently and Tommy is grateful. “I wanna live I want everyone to like me I want to do what’s right I don’t wanna keep messing up!”
The world is spinning, everything is blurry. A brown-haired boy with wide blue eyes (Tu… bbo?), a warrior with a shining crown (Techno. Betrayal. Or betrayed?), a translucent man with bright yellow, (Get awayGet awayGetaway), and green clothes and familiar wings (Dad. Phil. Safe?), look at him in worry.
“Tommy, calm down.” Phil kneels in front of Tommy’s tear-streaked face. “It’s alright no, alright? No one hates you.”
LiarLiarLiar.
“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Tommy mumbles. “Only my cows love me.”
Harry lets out a convincing moo. Tommy buries his head into Harry’s skin and hopes he won’t leave him while he sleeps.