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He is floating. All around him is the vast see of nothingness, which surrounds him from all sides. It's not water, not quite - it's not as heavy. It's neither cold nor warm. He's sinking, but he's not drowning. He doesn't feel comfortable, but— he is content. Nothing can get to him here, nothing can hurt him, Levi likes that.
After all that's happened, Levi— Levi just wants to rest. Hasn't he done enough? Hasn't he suffered enough? Doesn’t he deserve some respite?
He lets the water drag him deeper. He wants to reach the bottom, wants for everything to end. He wants to disappear, hoping that wherever he'll end up, she will be waiting there for him.
Just when he's almost there, just when he's ready to let go, the voices appear. Some sound urgent, some scared, but Levi doesn't care. He doesn't want to hear them, he doesn't want to feel pain anymore. He tries to ignore the irritating chatting, grits his teeth in frustration, when he realizes that he can't move his hands to cover his ears.
Not able to hide from these voices, Levi has no choice but to listen. And when he listens - he recognizes one of the voices immediately. And, really, how could he not? He would sooner forget his title, his own name than the sound of her voice.
He knows it better that his own - it can be playful, excited, authoritative, tired or soothing. Right now, she sounds commanding, but Levi notices the slight tint of panic and fear too.
Is it a memory, Levi wonders. It must be. Initially he thought that the voices belong to those who are among the living. But if Hange is with them, then it most certainly isn't the case.
Maybe, she's calling out to him? He should hurry then. He can't wait to see her again.
It's a selfish act, he knows, but he's so tired of being good. He's sick of fighting. And right now, he can't even do that properly. He's just a dead weight, slowing everyone down. His times of glory are long gone, the future rests in the hands of those kids now. They're strong, they're more than capable. Levi believes in them. Regret twists in his chest as he thinks about the bright-eyed youth, but he has already decided. He won't be their weak point. He'll leave. He'll go and join the ones who are waiting for him.
He relaxes, feeling a liberating feeling of peacefulness. It's been awhile since it visited him. Levi embraces it and lets Hange's voice guide him.
He gasps and then wheezes, his mouth opens and closes, as he tries to take a breath. It hurts, every part of him hurts. Every muscle and nerve feel like it's on fire.
Why the fuck does it hurt? It shouldn't. He should be in a better place now, he should be at peace. Then why does his body feel like someone is ripping him apart? Why can't he draw even a single breath?
Levi wants to open his eyes, wants to see the fucker that has brought him back, that has taken him away from her, again, and hurl abuse at him. Trying to lift a single eyelid feels like an unattainable feat but Levi wasn't called humanity's strongest for nothing.
Looking up, he almost screams. Everything is so bright, he feels like his retina is burning. He hurriedly closes his eye back, deciding to focus on other sensations instead. It seems like he's moving. Which makes no sense, because he's sure he is laying down. And then— he feels a hand. It's warm and gentle, and it carefully pushes his sweaty hair away, before moving down to grip his palm.
And it's— it's impossible. This calloused hand with a scar across its palm, it belongs to Hange. He knows it with ironclad certainty. He remembers wrapping bandages around it, when years ago a glass from a broken test tube had cut it.
But it makes no sense. If Hange is here, if she's holding his hand, then why he's in such pain? Does the pain exist even after death? Did Hange feel it too, when she came here? Did she suffer just like him?
Even now, with agony soaring through him, Levi hopes she didn't. He hopes that whatever force is ruling there, it was kind enough to spare Hange. And if not, Levi is ready to shoulder all of her pain himself. He'll take it all, he just needs a moment to rest.
He relaxes under the soft touch, the pain diminishing slightly.
Too weak to fight, Levi lets the darkness claim him.
When he comes back to his senses again, the pain is gone, only echoes of that agony resonating in his body. Breathing comes much easier too, and for a moment he just lays there, gathering his strength. He hears a quiet muttering, and, curious, Levi decides to get a glimpse of his surroundings.
The world is still too bright, when he opens his eye, and after a moment of staring, Levi realizes that he's looking at a window. The sun is high in the sky, shining right at him. With a quiet grunt, he turns away. He shifts his gaze to his left, to the direction from which the muttering is coming from.
Jean and Armin sit next to his bed. And that can mean only one thing - he is still alive. Everything he experienced before it - Hange's voice and her gentle touch - was just a hallucination, something his broken mind had supplied him with to soothe the suffering.
It's a good thing, he supposes. He was given yet another chance in life, be should be happy. Instead, he just feels exhausted.
Putting his depressing thoughts aside, Levi gives Armin and Jean another look.
They are deep in conversation, speaking to one another in hushed voices. It's obvious they're troubled by something for they do not notice that Levi is already awake.
He clears his throat, attracting their attention. Instantly, their eyes snap to him. Armin bolts out of his seat, mumbling something about water.
He returns swiftly, pressing a glass to Levi's lips. With a quiet 'thank you' Levi finishes the whole glass in one go. He didn't even notice how thirsty he was. He clears his throat again, fixing the boys in front of him with the sharpest gaze he can muster, considering that he’s lying in a hospital bed with bandages all over his face.
"So," he rasps, his voice even quieter and more gruff than usual. "Where am I?"
"You're back at Paradis, Captain," Armin replies. "We transported you back after..." he gulps, looking away. "After everything was over."
Levi nods, absorbing the information. He doesn't need to ask Armin what exactly had happened. He doesn't want to know. He lost too much already, and he recognizes the sad, hollow look in Armin's eyes. Levi's sure his eyes look pretty much the same.
"We worried about you," Jean tells him. "You were out for almost a week."
"And you've been sitting here this whole time?" Levi asks, equal parts surprised and touched by their concern.
Armin chuckles, lifting his arm to rub at his neck. "It's not like there is anything else we can do right now."
At that, Levi raises an eyebrow. "Don't you have work to do? You're the only remaining commander after all," he doesn't know much about current situation, of course, but isn't there supposed to be some peace negotiations? Restorations of the island?
"Ah," Armin blushes slightly. "The transition of power, it's, um, it's a slow process."
Levi frowns. The transition of power? From who? As far as he is aware, everyone who had any kind of power, is gone. Pixis is dead, Dawk is too, and Hange... Hange is gone too. So who rules the island now? Historia alone? Why aren't Armin and Jean helping her?
Before Levi can ask all of it out loud, the doctor enters the ward. He tells the boys to leave, so he could conduct Levi’s inspection in peace. Once Armin and Jean are gone, the doctor sets to work.
He checks Levi's wounds and changes the bandages. He tells Levi about his condition, but his speech is so full of medical jargon that Levi doesn't understand the half of what he's saying. Doesn't matter, he'll just ask Armin to explain him, he decides, staring up at the ceiling, as doctor carefully touches his leg.
"Your comrades say it was almost bitten off by a titan," the doctor remarks. "You're lucky we were able to save it," Levi wants to scoff. Lucky? He's anything but. "Unfortunately, even despite your enhanced regeneration process, you still need a lot of time to get back on your feet. I don't think you're ready to leave the hospital right now."
"Alright," Levi agrees. He doesn't really care about it either way. He used to hate hospitals, despised the constant boredom and the feeling of being useless, but now he doesn't care. It's not like there is a place for him anymore. He doesn't have a purpose, he doesn't have a job, and the only person he could see himself building a home with had sacrificed her life.
"You should rest as much as you can," doctor pats his shoulder lightly. Levi nods and quietly thanks him.
He closes his eyes. It doesn't take too long before he falls back into slumber.
By the time he wakes up again, it's already dark outside. The room is engulfed in shadows, the lonely candle on his bedside table being the only source of light.
There's someone sitting by his bed again. Levi shifts his gaze to look and breath hitches in his throat.
She's mumbling something with a puzzled look on her face. She's holding a stack of papers in one hand, and her other is stroking the back of her head with a quill.
Levi had seen this exact scene so many times that he's sure – he’s relieving the memory. What else could it be? He pitches his arm with two fingers, wincing in pain. Hange doesn't disappear. So, it's not a dream then.
Hallucination, Levi realizes grimly.
At that moment, Hange finally notices him. She lifts her head and her sweet smile takes Levi's breath away.
"You're finally up! When boys told me you're awake, I dropped everything and rushed here. But when I finally arrived, you were already asleep," she exhales after that, that same smile still on her lips. She puts the papers and quill down, and leans closer. "Do you need something? Water or, maybe, an extra blanket? It isn't really cold right now, but doctor mentioned you could develop a fever. Oh, and also..."
Levi just lets her ramble on, not really knowing what to do. Should he even answer Hange? Should he try to ignore her? Should he call a doctor and tell him that he's experiencing the symptoms of delirium?
No, he decides. If he does any of those things, Hange would probably disappear. And he doesn't want it to happen. Even if she's not actually real, he still needs her. Besides, Levi muses, as loses himself in watching her smile, he knows she isn't real, so technically he hasn't lost his mind yet. As long as he remembers that, there is nothing wrong in chatting with her. It's not like there's much to do in here anyway.
And that what he does for as long as he can keep his eyes open – chatting with Hange. Hange does most of the chatting, of course. He’s too weak still and talking was never his strong forte. He’s happy to just listen to her blubbering, although he can’t properly focus on her words yet, so he opts to silently admire her animated face.
Way too soon, his eyelids start growing heavy again. Levi knows he won’t be able to stay awake for long. He fights the darkness, though, afraid to lose sight of Hange. What if she won’t come back?
With each passing second, his fight turns more and more futile, and Hange quickly takes note of his sorry state.
“It seems like my rants never fail in lulling you to sleep,” she jokes. “I should leave and let you rest.”
No, Levi wants to protest. He wants to grab her hand and never let go. He wants to keep Hange by his side forever, even though he knows that she’s not real.
Unfortunately, he’s too frail to even lift an arm or utter a single word.
“I’ll come back tomorrow, don’t worry,” Hange promises, leaning in to press a kiss on his forehead. For a hallucination, her touch feels awfully real. His skin tingles in the place, where her lips touched it. “Go to sleep, Levi. I’ll watch over you.”
After her promise, Levi is able to relax. Hange promised him to return and she’s never broken her word. He trusts her this time too.
Knowing that there is something good waiting for him the next day, Levi lets himself get some rest.
He doesn't know how much time has passed, but when Levi gains consciousness again, Hange is back by his side.
She is writing something down, and Levi wonders if that's the notes for her titan research or is she filling commander's paperwork. He shifts to the side, so he can get a better look at her. The sounds of bed sheet’s rustling makes Hange look up. As soon as she meets Levi's eyes, she beams.
"Hi, there," she murmurs. "How do you feel?"
"Fine," Levi answers. Much better now that you're here, he adds in his head. "What you've been up to?"
"Ah," she ruffles her hair and only now Levi notices how tired she looks. "There's been too much work lately. It's not as tiring as it was before— but it's still a bit too much."
Levi makes a considerable effort, grunts from exertion, but after struggling for a couple of seconds he finally manages to lift an arm and wrap his fingers around Hange’s hand.
"Tell me," he asks.
Hange looks at him for a moment, her eyes filled with so much emotion, which Levi is quite reluctant to decipher. Even if she is just an illusion, pondering on what was lost will only make regret that much stronger.
Then she nods, takes a deep breath and launches into her tale.
She talks about peace negotiations, pact with Marley and their promise to leave them alone in exchange for Paradis' help in restoring their lands. She waxes poetic about their technical achievements and speaks of inventions Levi has never heard of. She tells him about things called telephones that are used for conversing on great distances and gramophones that can play music anytime you want.
Levi has a hard time imagining any of those things, but he listens, hanging onto every word from her lips. It looks like Hange is especially impressed by these gramophones and Levi fleetingly imagines a life, where he could get this thing for Hange, so she could dance whenever she wishes to. It'd be nice to watch her spin around the room, humming under her breath. Maybe, he'd join her too, holding her in his arms, as they slowly move around.
He gets so lost in this little fantasy that he misses when Hange starts talking about her new experiment.
"Paradis decided to collaborate with Marley's scientists. Well," Hange's face twists into a grimace. "With those of them, who are still alive. We want to try and see if we can turn the titans back to their human forms. We're working with Connie's mother for now, but if we succeed, maybe, we can make shifters become fully human again. Get rid of that curse," a wistful smile appears on her face, as she speaks her next words. For some reason, it reminds Levi of their conversation in forest. His heart twists with regret at that particular memory. He should have run away with Hange then. It's too late for remorse now, though. Hange is gone, and the only thing Levi is left with is a specter that his broken mind had come up with.
His head starts to throb then and Levi knows he needs to rest again. He closes his eyes, letting Hange's voice soothe him.
Even as he falls asleep, his hand still continues to hold Hange's. She begins to draw circles on it, looking at Levi's peaceful face with a tender smile.
"It'd be nice, don't you think?" she whispers, knowing that Levi can't hear her anymore. "To get more time together. Fear not, Levi, I'm working on it. I’m not going to let our second chance go to waste."
Hange never appears during daytime, always coming to him only when the night falls. Levi doesn’t think too much about it, doesn’t question it. After all, his mother used to warn him that the ghost and apparitions reveal themselves only in the presence of night, when the sun is down and only pale stars illuminate the world.
It's maybe Hange's fifth or seventh visit, it's hard for Levi to keep track of anything, when his mind is still a mush because of painkillers, but it's only then when he notices that she doesn't wear the eye patch anymore. He looks closely, and the scar on her left eye is gone too. Levi asks her about it, wondering what that can mean.
"My patch?" Hange lifts a hand to her face, pressing fingers to her cheek. "What do I need it for? Since I've been turned into a titan, my eye has healed."
"A titan?" Levi repeats slowly.
"Yeah! Don't you remember? Me arriving at the heat of the battle and taking you away? I brought you to safety and tended to your wounds, before returning to the fight."
Oh no, Levi thinks, this is bad. He let his imagination go wild and his mental state is worsening. He understands the reasons, though. He misses Hange terribly, and so his brain latches onto every subconscious idea to try and persuade him that she's really still here. It's dangerous - feeding his insanity like this. He's still holding on, however. He still knows it's not real, still sees the line. He just has to be careful and not overstep it.
“A titan, huh?” he chuckles softly. “I’m sure you have a blast. Tell me more.”
Hange does.
“It was quite scary, being so big all of a sudden,” she confesses, telling Levi about her first transformation. There is a wide, enthusiastic smile on her lips, and Levi is hit by a strong wave of nostalgia at the sight of it. “But it was so exciting too! And I felt so powerful, it was really something!”
“Oh and then there was this boy!” Hange continues to gash. “Remember, that Marleyan fella? Who inherited the Jaw Titan? He grew wings, Levi! Just like a bird!”
At that Levi nods, he does remember something about a flying titan. His memories are vague, though, as he was already in too much pain to pay attention to anything around him. He remembers the feeling of soft feathers and a fleeting thought that if Hange were to see it, she would have lost her mind and pestered the poor boy for days on end.
Hange’s excitement dies down considerably after that. She doesn’t talk about what happened next, what was the outcome of the battle, and Levi wonders if that’s caused by the fact that he himself doesn’t know about it. If what Armin and Jean had told him was true, he wasn’t present at the end of it all. Maybe, it’s a good thing, Levi thinks.
He looks Hange in the eyes then, and the pain and sorrow inside her gaze makes his heart clench painfully.
“I’m so happy, Levi,” she whispers, and, maybe it’s a trick of light, but it seems as though there are tears in her eyes. “I’m so happy that you’re still here. And, perhaps, it is wrong, but I’m happy that I’m here too. After all we’ve been through, after all that we’ve done,” Hange grabs his hand then and lifts it to her lips, kissing his bandaged knuckles. “I’m so happy that we’ve managed to get a second chance.”
Levi didn’t think it was possible, he didn’t know there was anything left of it, but Hange’s words break his heart once more. He knows that none of it is real, knows that all of it is just in his head, but he wishes it to be true. There is nothing else he wishes for - just to get Hange back, to see her once more and tell her about his feelings. Just to receive a chance of building a life they both ached for.
"I love you so much," he murmurs, unable to keep in anymore. He had hid for too long, had run away from these feelings, he's not strong enough to do it any longer.
These are simple words that don't cover the half of what he feels to Hange, nevertheless, it's good to say them out loud. Even if he's too late and even though it's not real Hange who's sitting next to him, he's glad he finally did it.
It takes its toll on him, though, and, out of nowhere, Levi feels exhaustion wash over him. He falls asleep almost instantly.
And in doing that, he doesn't hear Hange's response.
After that night, Hange doesn't appear anymore. Levi tries not to be disappointed - after all, it just means that he's getting better, that he's not really losing his mind. But he still misses her. He finds out that sleep comes much harder to him, now that he doesn't have Hange's voice lulling him to slumber. And he feels unusually cold without her warm presence.
He thinks about it one night. It's dark in the room and no matter how hard he tries, Levi can't fall asleep. He remembers the stories his mother used to tell him and the books he read to Isabel.
It was the only type of stories his mother knew, there wasn't a place for fairy tales about princesses and knights in Underground. Meanwhile, Isabel was simply fascinated with grimy, frightening tales. She made him read them to her, until Farlan taught her how to do it by herself. After that, she started to gather the three of them in her room every week, so she could share with them her favorite stories. They used to sit in the dark room, with no candles and with curtains closed, and listen to Isabel's enchanting, low voice. Some of the stories were funny, some - exciting, but they never frightened Levi.
The gnawing hunger was frightening, the feeling of opponent's blade on your throat was frightening. Tales about ghosts and demons? That were children's stories, they did not scare him. After all, the real monsters and demons walked among them.
He vaguely remembers the sad stories. Those were his mother's favorite, while Isabel didn't enjoy them at all, saying that they made her eyes feel funny. Those stories told about ghosts - apparitions of those unfortunates who died while having some unfinished business. They continued to roam the land of the living, until they get the closure they need. Levi used to scoff at these tales, everyone had some regrets before death, but he was yet to see at least one ghost.
Now, though, he is inclined to change his mind. Maybe, there are such things as ghosts. Maybe, they do come back from the underworld to haunt their loved ones. And, maybe, his confession was the thing that was able to finally set Hange free. Maybe, that's why she doesn't visit him anymore.
If that's the case, Levi thinks, then maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.
It's one of those days, when his mind refuses to keep quiet that Levi decides that enough is enough. It's about time he stopped wallowing in his misery.
He grips the metal railings at the side of the bed hard, pushing himself upwards. He grunts and curses, but after a moment of struggling he finally manages to sit up. Slowly, he moves his legs until they touch the floor.
Now, the hardest part.
He braces himself, using bed as his support. Doctor said his leg is almost healed, so Levi’s confident he can do it. He just needs to be careful and not put any weight on it. His healthy leg trembles, but holds him. Tentatively, Levi straightens out.
The door opens at that exact moment. Jean stumbles in, and the second his eyes land on Levi, they widen almost comically.
"Captain!" he rushes to his side, gripping his elbows. "You should be in bed!"
"I've been lying around for weeks now, and I'm sick of it. I'm going to walk around that room, and I don't want to hear your opinion on it. You can help or you can leave."
"As stubborn as ever," Jean huffs. Levi thinks of reprimanding him, but then remembers that technically Jean is not his subordinate anymore. He lets it slide, simply granting Jean with his signature tsk.
Jean smiles and takes off his hat and jacket. He comes to stand by Levi's side, hovering above him in case he falls down.
Levi takes his first step. It feels like a fucking torture. He grits his teeth and pushes on.
“Why are you here?” he asks after another agonizingly slow step.
“I promised to watch over you,” Jean answers. “Sorry for not visiting sooner, though. I was—” his hand on Levi’s elbow tightens and when he shifts his gaze from the floor, Levi sees how tense the boy looks. “I was needed somewhere else.”
Levi nods, his own face turning grim. “How is that brat doing?”
“She’s getting better, I think. She started talking again, albeit only with Armin. Historia helps a lot too, and even Annie tries to show her support. I heard them laughing the other day,” Jean’s lips curl into a smile. “She wanted to come to visit you, but now that Armin and Historia are gone, she retreated back into her shelf again.”
“Armin and Historia are gone? Where?”
“Haven’t you heard?” Jean wonders. “There is a peace conference at the capital. They’re going to finalize the treaty.”
“Ah,” Levi nods. “Armin is there as the commander then?”
“Not quite,” Jean grins. “He’s there to watch how the real pros do it.”
Who, Levi wants to ask. Is Jean talking about Marleyan government? He really hopes he’s not. He had seen some of them. He was not impressed.
“Where is Connie?” he questions instead. He has yet to see him, Levi realizes suddenly. And if Mikasa’s reasons are quite clear, why Connie hasn’t visited him even once? It’s not like Levi wants to see him or, god forbid, misses him. He’s just curious.
“He’s back at Ragako, didn’t you know? He’s helping with experiments. They’re trying to—”
“Bring his mother back,” Levi finishes. Now he remembers. Hange told him the very same thing.
It makes Levi freeze. How could Hange tell him about it? She wasn’t real, she couldn’t have known about real life events that he had no idea were happening. Perhaps, one of the brats told him, Levi tries to reason. Perhaps, they talked to him while he was unconscious. Perhaps, it was the way his brain had interpreted it.
“Captain?” Jean squeezes his hand, looking worriedly. “Are you alright? Maybe, you should get back to bed? You look a little pale.”
“I’m fine,” persists, taking yet another step. His muscles ache and he’s feeling tired and dizzy, but he continues. He can do it.
“Just don’t push yourself too hard, alright?” Jean warns with an edge to his voice. “Or I’ll get my ass kicked, when our peace ambassadors come back.”
Levi wants to ask Jean about it, something about his words seemed strange. Thinking about it, though, makes him forget about his very important job. His leg twists, when he puts it the wrong way. He winces in pain, as the only thing that keeps him upright are Jean’s strong arms.
“Maybe, you were right,” he admits reluctantly. “I should rest, but!” he raises a hand, glaring at Jean. “Let go of my hand, I want to try to walk by myself.”
Another week passes and Levi gets strong enough to walk outside. He focuses on his recovery, mental and physical. Unfortunately, the wounds on his flesh heal that much faster than his broken heart.
Mikasa visits him one day. She sits on a bench next to him during his daily walks around the garden. Levi searches her face and scrambles to find some comforting words.
He can’t.
He wants to say that it gets better, that the time heals every wound, but after everything that he has lost, he doesn't believe a single word of this bullshit. Time heals nothing, and your heart continues to hurt and ache for someone who isn't there anymore. You can't just forget it, but you can try and move forward. Find something that will lessen the pain at least for a short while.
But Mikasa knows all of it already. Just like him, she's not a stranger to loss. Maybe, that's the price for their power, Levi thinks.
It's too depressing of a thought to share it with a grieving girl, though. And, besides, Levi was never a master of words, so he opts to just cover her hand with his. Mikasa looks up at him then, and he isn't at all surprised to see tears in her eyes. He doesn't see them fall, however, because Mikasa presses her face into his chest, sobbing quietly.
Levi holds her tightly, softly rubbing her back.
Staring at the crying girl in his arms, he feels something close to envy. He couldn't cry after Hange's death. He wanted to, needed to, but tears never came. Perhaps, he couldn’t cry, because his last words to Hange were actually true. She did take his heart with her.
Levi doesn't really know how much time had passed, but one night he wakes up and hears quite snoring. He looks to the left and his heart swells.
Hange is sitting on a chair beside his bed. She's bent over, her head resting on his lap, as she peacefully slumbers.
A fleeting thought passes Levi's mind - do ghosts even need to sleep? He dismisses it instantly, and then reaches out, touching the strands of Hange's hair. It's as soft as he remembers from the times when he used to wash and braid it for the night.
Hange seems absolutely real, and Levi doesn't know if he should thank his mind for this gift or curse its cruelty for playing such tricks with him.
She doesn't even stir under his touch, and Levi grows a bit bolder. He entangles his fingers in her hair and starts to play with it. In that moment, he is filled with so much love, affection and adoration that it feels like he's choking on it. With Hange gone, to whom he will give all of it now?
"Forgive me," the apology stumbles out of his lips unprompted, but once he says it, Levi can't stop. "I've never deserved you, I've never— never deserved your love and care. I shouldn't have let you go, I should have stopped you, should have given up my life and save yours. I should—"
"Levi?" too lost in his own thoughts and regrets, he missed the moment when Hange woke up. Now she stares at him, blinking sleepily. "What are you talking about? Did you have a nightmare? I'm here, with you, Levi."
"You're not," he answers sharply. "I know you're not, so don't try to bullshit me."
The mind can be such a cruel thing, Levi muses, as he watches Hange's face twist with worry.
She leans in, placing a palm on his forehead. "Do you have a fever? Maybe, I should call a doctor?"
"Stop it," Levi growls. He turns his face away, unable to stare at this vision - or whatever Hange actually is. "Stop it, I know you're not real."
"Levi," Hange's voice softens, but is still filled with worry. She cradles his face in her hands, and, instinctively, Levi closes his eyes and relaxes. "I don't— I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm alive and I'm here with you."
"You're not," Levi whispers weakly, clenching his fist in Hange's shirt. "I saw you walking away right to your death."
"But I came back, don't you remember? Zeke saved me and turned me into a Titan, and I came back to you."
More than anything, Levi wants to believe her. But if Hange actually came back, then that's a miracle. And life taught him that such things do not exist.
But hope is another thing. It's a clingy, persistent feeling and even now it doesn't quite leave him.
So he looks Hange in the eyes and decides to give his hope the last chance.
"Tell me then," he challenges. "Tell me one thing I couldn't know about. Something only you would know."
"Oh, that's hard," Hange scratches the back of her head with a clueless smile. "We're so deep in each other's shit that it's near impossible to have some secrets."
Levi can't disagree with her. It is true, he knows almost everything about Hange. Except...
"Your scientific bullshit," he blurts out. "Tell me something about your dumb experiments."
"They’re not dumb," she mutters darkly, throwing Levi a look. "But fine! If that what it takes to make you stop this nonsense and believe that I'm actually real, then listen: recently we extracted three samples of spinal fluid – from Ms. Springer, me and a regular human. We tested it and found out that number of monocytes – type of cells that Marleyans discovered not long ago—”
Levi doesn’t hear the end of the sentence, because he’s too busy gawking at Hange like a goddamn fish. What the fuck are these monocytes? He had never heard about it, and even if he did, Levi is sure he wouldn’t have remembered the name for it.
And that can mean only one thing – that the miracles indeed happen, and that Hange— Hange is indeed alive.
With a broken, choking sound, Levi pulls her closer and gathers her in his arms. Hange’s hand accidentally brushes his wounded leg, and a sharp pain shoots through it, but Levi doesn’t care. She is there, she is with him, and he can’t, won’t ask for anything else.
“Hange, Hange,” her name falls from his lips over and over. He whispers it shakily, feverishly like it’s a sacred, holy thing. He had never believed in higher power, used to scoff at cultists and priests, but right now, as he holds Hange in his arms, he thanks whatever deity there is for this gift.
“Shh, I’m here, Levi,” Hange wipes something from his cheeks and only then Levi realizes that he’s crying. The sensation is so foreign, he doesn’t remember if he had ever cried before. But now, pressed against Hange’s chest, he starts to sob, letting out everything that’s been bottled up inside him for decades.
Hange lets him. She rubs his back and plays with his hair, whispering soothing words into his ear.
“I won’t leave you alone, I won’t let anything stand in our way anymore,” Hange’s words are fierce, honest and Levi believes her, of course, he believes her. He presses his cheek to her chest and listens to the steady heartbeat there, and it’s the sweetest goddamn sound.
He whimpers quietly, and Hange kisses his temple. “I bought a house last week,” she says, her voice quiet and soothing. “It’s on the outskirts of town. It’s peaceful there, you know, birds chipping and all that stuff. You can start a garden. If—” she stutters all of a sudden, and Levi looks up to find out the reason. Hange doesn’t meet his gaze, her eyes trained at something just above his head. There is a faint blush on her cheeks, and it confuses Levi.
“If?” he prompts, trying to catch her gaze.
“If you want it. To live with me, I mean. You didn’t actually answer me back then…”
“Asshole,” he glares at her. The effect is somewhat ruined by his red, shiny eyes and tear-streaked face. “There is nothing else I wish for.”
“Oh, that’s— that’s good,” Hange nods with a small relieved smile. Levi scoffs at the sight of it. Was she truly worried about his answer? Dork.
“I’m still needed in the capital,” she continues after a moment. “Armin needs me, and Historia too. And then there are these experiments in Ragako. It’s a bit too early to say,” she pauses, biting her lip. “But— I feel good about it. Maybe, we can really end this curse.”
“You can do it,” he says with absolute certainty. And it’s true, he does believe in her. Hange’s crazy smart and annoyingly hard-working. If anyone can break the curse, it’s her.
And even if she can’t, even if she doesn’t succeed, thirteen years is a long time. It’s much more that Levi could have hoped for.
He untangles himself from Hange, moving a bit to the side. Hange was bent over him this entire time, and Levi can only imagine how uncomfortable this position is.
He pats the place next to him. “Come here,” he beckons.
Hange frowns. “I don’t think I should. You— you’re still weak.”
“I don’t give fuck about that,” Levi grunts. “I need this— need you,” the words make him embarrassed, he feels so awkward, but Hange laughs, and Levi momentarily forgets about anything else.
She finally gets into the bed next to him, and Levi embraces her with a smile so rarely seen on his face. Now with Hange back at his side and with a bright future ahead of them, he’s sure that smiling will come that much easier to him.