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- So, why I have marry her?
Everyone in the hall was suddenly silent considering the question, but maybe it was more by the prince´s voice.
Ignis looked at him in surprise, Noctis has never made any complaints regarding the issue of marriage settlement with lady Lunafreya, now he even seemed upset.
The King Regis didn´t get upset but looked at his son.
- You know well the reason, Noctis. Now, mi question is: Why wouldn´t you marry her?
But Noctis didn´t talk, he was just frowning. Ignis sought his glance, maybe he could understand something.
- It could be… Is there someone you want to marry?
The Prince frowning again but didn´t answer the question. Suddenly, he got up and stepped out of the room. His mind was so unclear and sorry to asked her father that question with everyone there, especially Ignis there, although, maybe that was necessary. He was already at the end of the citadel stairs walking fast, without direction. In a little while, he heard some steps behind him, of course he recognized it, it was the footsteps of his loyal advisor and perhaps behind him those of his father.
- Noct, please wait. You can´t just leave.
- Don’t follow me.- Ignis was almost at his side, and contradictorily, Noctis didn´t want to see him, he didn´t know what to do but to go away
- Noct, enough, you can´t behave like that.- Ignis succeeded in reaching and taking him by the arm with a little strength
- Why not? Cause is not a prince´s thing? - At least, Noctis stopped in its tracks an almost shouts that questions with obvious annoyance, instead, Ignis looked at him seriously puzzled.
- What´s happening to you? Why are you suddenly bothered by the issue of marriage? You never told me- the advisor didn´ask for an explanation just because, the prince´s tantrums never turned around these issues, it wasn´t normal. Noctis looks away, pulling a little of his arm to free himself, but without much success.- Is that? Is there someone else you love?- Noctis was tense, surprised, upset and confused, that was noticed by his advisor.- If so, tell me, I could talk with your father and try a deal… Noct, tell me.- the prince get tense even more.
- Leave me alone. Let me go
- No, Noctis, you can´t just run away from the problems like that. Just tell me.
- No.
- Noctis.- Ignis raised his voice a little and this, somehow, detoned something in the prince, hodgepodge of things that he had never felt. His cloudy blue eyes met Ignis´s full of anger, without previous warning, he grabbed Ignis´s tie and tugged at it until his lips were stamped on his roughly. The contact didn´t last long and when Noctis pulled apart he didn´t open his eyes, he just said:
- With you… Ignis, I want to marry you.
He was afraid, he didn´t know what would happen now but when he finally decided to face the other and opened his eyes, the only thing he saw was a cold and sharp glance in the emerald eyes that used to look at him with kindness and affection. That destroyed him. He knows what does it means.
Ignis just arranged his glasses and his position.
- My apologies, your majesty.
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A distant knock woke him up from his slumber. He blinked a couple of times and subtly he sat up understanding that he was at his desk, inside his office.
- Your majesty?
The knocks were repeated and the door was opened by a young lady, one of the many workers at the palace.
- Yeah?
- I´m so sorry your majesty but dinner is only in a few hours and you must get ready.
Noctis tried to orient himself remembering what day it was. He used to loose track of things when he slept. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the woman.
- Where is Ignis?
- I understand that after the kitchen he went to your dormitory to prepare your outfit Sir, maybe he´s still there.
Knowing him surely he´s still there making sure everything was in order, even if it was a matter off his clothes.
- I´m on my way.
- Yes Sir, excuse me.
Noctis observed his office, the dim blue light that prevailed in the cold room mingled with the beautiful sunset light. The large windows allowed him to see from above the magnificence of the Insomnia City. The lights of the city started to light everything in the early night hours. The sky didn´t allow the sun´s rays but the snow made everything look so beautiful. “It’s snowing… like that night” Noctis murmured, recalling the dream he just had. That night fifteen years ago. He around the eyes and took his coat to leave the office and return to his room.
Everyone on his way greeted him with a reverence and at the same they ran back and forth. He smiled to see all his people prepared for that night, after all, it was the New Year´s dance and celebration.
When he got to his room, he hesitated a little to open the door. He caressed the lanch thinking about it a little, but finally opened the big door and just like he imagined, there he was, his loyal advisor, friend and sibling. His right hand and the one who mattered most in his life. No less would be expected. Ignis was holding a perfectly folded tie in his hands in a very ceremonial manner. Everything in Ignis was just like that. Elegant, sober, pure, beautiful. The grooves of the scars that ran through his pale skin looked darker and somehow, it enhanced the sharp and fine features of this face. This time he was wearing a three piece grayish sapphire suit with golden ornaments that perfectly matched his graceful figure. The King Noctis could do nothing but admire him for longer seconds before entering his own room as usual. Ignis looked at him and smiled fleetingly.
- You won’t be ready if you just stay there.
- I´ve fallen asleep.
- Oh… my apologizes. I imagined that you would continue with the official documents and I didn´t want to interrupt. I came directly from the kitchen.
- Iggy…- Noctis sighs and closed the door behind him to get closer.- Even if you interrupt, I don´t care. Anyway… I see you finished the dinner on time.
- Absolutely. I wouldn´t let me not be all ready. Maybe it´s not my business, but I´m glad to keep cooking.
Noctis smiled for himself and looked at the stunning black suit hanging from the door dressing room, he took it and went there to change his clothes. Without exchanging words with the other in the process. He could just think about the dream he had, that in the end was a memory. He wondered how they could have spent fifteen years with that coexistence, with that trust and affection that was limited to being friends or family, or just a king and his advisor. In how they had decided not to talk about the affair and continue as if nothing had happened. For moments, he forgot what he felt for Ignis thanks to the constant battles, the long journey to become king, and remembering it, his chest hurts and trembles. Why? Why, if Ignis didn´t correspond to him, had he stayed with him for so many years? Why would he had lost so much in all that time for him? Was that only loyality to the Crown? Could he really say it was not love after so much? He never tried to get closer to him, not beyond the specific moment hugs or physical contact battle. He was afraid of the rejection.
Finally after the new uprising of Insomnia, Noctis had time to think about his feelings for his loyal comrade. It would have been impossible not to love him because he was always at his side, and even if it wasn´t so, ten years inside the Crystal were not enough to forget him, maybe even if it was a thousand, they wouldn´t be enough.
The Prince started to feel something for his advisor from a very young age, he never defined what it was exactly, yes, he was very fond of him. As children they did everything together and even though Ignis was always very disciplined and taciturn, he would always play with the Prince, kindly reminded him of what he should do as a prince and comforted him if he didn´t have a good day. Thanks to Ignis, Noctis even began to try to talk more whit his father, the king.
In their adolescence, they talked about everything, his friendship had grown closer after the age of thirteen, and there were occasions when the prince found himself watching Ignis while he read, cooked or practiced.
He got slightly annoyed when he found him chatting with his shield and also friend Gladio. He used to notice advisor´s outfits or any details that changed him.
It was until one afternoon that speaking with Prompto he understood what he felt.
- So… how is fallin in love, according you?- the prince asked
- Uhm… well… ya´know… It makes you happy to see that person and you don't stop thinking about him, when he isn´t there. You want to see him smile because that makes you smile and all the time you spend with that person is very special. You want to be close to hug him, kiss him. You know, those things- replied his friend.
That afternoon Noctis didn´t stop thinking until he arrived at this apartment and saw Ignis in the kitchen and stared at him for a few long seconds confirming each of the points that Prompto has told him: He loved being with Ignis, nobody in the whole world understood like him, always wanted to know what his advisor was thinking about even he was so quiet. He always felt a bit empty when he was gone and enjoyed his conversations with him more than anyone else. Was there when Noctis got closer to hug him. Ignis was only taken aback for a second, he put down the kitchen utensils and hugged Noctis fondly, assuming it hadn't been a good day. The prince knew he was absolutely in love, he could live in Ignis arms forever, hear him, see him, it was the only thing he wanted, he could have anything in the world but he just wanted to stay by his friend's side for eternity.
Now, he remembered that wistfully as he buttoned his neat shirt, wondering how the years went by so fast.
- Are you ready? - Ignis asked out the dresser.
- There are a few hours left, we don't have to be in a hurry, do we?
Noctis came out of the dressing room, he thought Ignis would be close but he wasn't, he was near the window looking outside, he was smiling slightly.
- Iggy?
- My apologies, the snow… looks beautiful.- At that moment Noctis approached the switch turning down almost all the light in the room leaving just the outside lights that mixed with the gray and white snow giving a cold and at the same time cozy impression to the room. For Noctis, It was better appreciated. Ignis looked at him a little surprised but did not say anything, he only approached his King and shook his head.- I can't believe that at thirty, you still skip the buttons on your shirt.
Noctis blushed, noticing that, actually, he had skipped the last shirt buttons. When he wants to fix it, Ignis hands was already on his shirt. His closeness was so pleasant and so intimate that he would never get tired of it. He could smell his cologne and he stood still to enjoy it.
Ignis gestured with his chin to indicate to Noctis to lift his neck to knot his tie. Noctis did it and then, looked at his advisor´s serious face. His emotions were floating, he wanted to understand what he felt, what Ignis felt.
When the knot was almost done, Noctis under the gaze took in Ignis tie between his fingers and caressed it distractedly.
- Do you remember…? Ignis? That night…. At the dinner… Fifteen years ago.
The advisor stopped his hands but he didn´t move, he just stared at his King. Noctis didn´t usually use his complete name, he only used to say “Iggy”, that makes Ignis stiffed because he knew exactly what was he talking about. There was no way he could forget it. From that moment on, many things happened within Ignis. From a very young age, a strict regimen and upbringing was installed in him in order to serve the next heir to the throne. And even so, his loyalty went further after meeting the prince. Even if he hadn't been taught, he gradually wanted to protect Noctis even more, be close to him, guide him and be of as much use to him as possible. His rigid values didn´t allow him to see beyond his loyalty until well into adolescence, where at times he saw the prince differently... Beyond a future king, beyond his friend, he saw him as his equal, as a human being ... As a man and he had taken an unequaled affection for him. And he understood it but preferred not to inquire into those feelings, he convinced himself that it was the product of the years of service and coexistence with Noctis, that it was only a love born of that friendship ... And yet there came a point that was practically impossible for him to deny everything he felt and it was precisely, weeks before that dinner, when his parents reminded him the engagement between the prince and the lady of Tenebrae.
Of course, Ignis always had that fact in mind, but that day he understood the fact that it wasn´t only affection for Noctis just for his friendship or a simple loyality to the crown… No, it was love, a true feeling that exceed many limits that it had imposed by himself. Then, he remembered why those limits existed. The pain of understanding that Noctis was a prince and he was only his advisor and perhaps friend was what made him understand his love for Noctis and, at the same time, the fact that he must leave those feelings. That night he couldn´t sleep at all for the first time in his life as he tried desperately to deny or get rid of those feelings, of course he was unsuccessful. He had no choice but to deal with it during those weeks by convincing himself that at some point they would just fade away.
Or so he thought, until, at that dinner, Noctis had shown him that he felt the same. And even though from the depths of his soul he wished to reciprocate that sweet kiss, he knew that it couldn´t go beyond. Just not. His duty was to have Noctis perform his royal duties at the expense of his own happiness, even if that meant hurting the one he loved the most, his prince. It had to be like that… “With you” said Noctis after kissing him surrounded by cold and snow. He could feel how time itself stopped and for that ephemeral moment, he was happy. His prince loved him too. Bu it was just that: a moment, because then, he gathered all his forces to leave as coldly as it was possible.
Neither of them could describe the agony and pain they felt the weeks after, because they barely saw each other and when they saw each other, it was in a cold way and without any contact. Was Ignis who finally decide to try to make their relationship as normal as possible was before, because he noticed the low mood of the prince and at least, succeeded in this attempt. He wanted to pretended as if nothing had happened an even at first Noctis was annoyed, little by little he accepted that. And so, it went on for fifteen years, protecting, fighting together and with his other friends. Fifteen years full of sacrifice and darkness. But also, fifteen years wanting in secret, silence until that evening, when the king opened again that memory which had been buried for the sake of his kingdom…
Ignis didn´t answer, he continued to tie the king´s tie gently, looking at him out of the corner of this eye. Noctis waited a few seconds while he looked for his gaze. But he no longer wanted his advisor to avoid him, he didn´t want to feel that indifference, then the same feelings he had kept for so many years, began to cram into him. He raised his hand to the scars of Ignis´s face and caressed them as gently as he could.
- Why Ignis?... Why did you do so much for me?... Why did you sacrifice so much for me? Because I´m the king, the chosen one?- his voice broke a little- If not…
- Noct, I don´t thing it-
- No!- Noctis shook his hand and raised his voice, which Ignis got look him at his eyes- Ignis I can´t do this anymore. You know that, you´ve known all these years… I … you´ve never denied it but tell me now…
Noctis couldn´t complete his sentences, he just wanted that, that Ignis just reject him, that ambiguous feeling of affection disappeared or being clearly, or told him that he really didn´t love him. Perhaps the king never held out hope that he would have a relationship, actually Noctis convinced himself that fact of being at Ignis side day by day was more than enough, however, the little gestures of kindness and apparent affection that he used to have with him, confuse Noctis in some way. At this point, he only wanted to know the truth, even if it hurts, even if it means that they no longer had any relationship… It had been too long.
- Why? Why did you just leave that time? I can´t just pretend I don´t feel nothing for you anymore… You know it damn it! Just tell me that you don´t feel the same… just…
But his words died there, he felt his lips sealed in a kiss, something he had never felt before, not like that. Ignis kissed him with hunger and need as he took the king´s face in his hands. It took Noctis a second to answer as the movement was so fast and almost abrupt that he couldn´t do anything else. He answered the kiss in the same way. He was lost in the more sweet and strong sensations that ran through his body. He tried to keep up with the rhythm that the other marked with his lips as he sighed lightly until they parted a few seconds to get some air. Both looked into each other´s eyes, lost in themselves. For a moment Noctis felt like Ignis was about to take a step backwards but he clung to him, burying his face on his shoulder.
- No please… don´t go away anymore… Don´t you dare, not after this…- and contrary to what he believed, he felt how he was wrapped in Ignis´s arms with the same force that he held him, just as he felt a warm kiss on his head. They stayed like this for a few long seconds and then, slowly, Noctis got a little apart.
- Noct… I´m sorry…
- Why?
- We musn´t-
- What? You kiss me like that and now you apologize?- his voice showed annoyance and bewilderment. Ignis closed his eyes and sighed, but didn´t release the king either. He gave to him a serious gaze just to kiss his forehead tenderly.
- You don´t know… you have no idea what I´ve always felt for you… that night, I was aware of how much I hurt you and there´s no way I can forgive myself for it… Nevertheless there would be no way I could reciprocate. Your destiny was with lady Lunafreya and your duty with Insomnia… Noct, you know as well as I do that my place could never be at your side, not that way. My duty is to protect you… being your advisor, your right hand, no more, no less, I was raised for it.
Noctis could barely breathe, it was clear that he was truly reciprocated, but at the same time, it was as if he were telling him that he wouldn’t have any chance to be with Ignis.
- But Luna… she-
- Yes, she died to give light to the world, but that doesn´t mean I-
- Ignis, I never loved her- one more time, Noctis looked at him decided, he was not willing to give in.- She was more like a sister to me, yeah, I´d marry her for the sake of the nation, but I knew she would understand it , and then you and I could-
- What? Being a couple meanwhile you were married? Noctis, you understand what you´re saying? Noct, please understand, even if you haven´t been engaged, I´m no one to be able to-
- It´s you! Ignis… I don´t need no one but you.- he said almost in a plea as he approached to kiss him. The advisor reciprocated the kiss with affection, this time it was different, the kiss was soft and slow. Ignis caresses his back gently. They got apart again, rubbing their noses.
- I thought I could just live without proving anything as always but today… I couldn´t help it.
- Don´t you dare apologize again… Now I know you wanted to do as much as I did.
- Yet… I didn´t think we should go further.
- Why not? Ignis, there´s nothing that can stop me from loving you as I´ve always done. I don´t care what they say, I want you to kiss me the same way tonight at dinner.
- Wait, what are you talking about- the last thing the king said managed to alter Ignis enough to blush.
- I want everyone to know that we are together, all the council, and all the city.
- No, no, no. Noctis, wait. You can´t just do something like that. That would be… really improper and even more to the council.
- Ignis, I want them to they know it. Everyone admires and respects you, there is nothing that would make them refuse for us to be a couple.
Ignis observed the brightness in the eyes of his king. Was it possible that they could really be together? So, just like that? All those years I tried to distance, hide and even deny everything he felt for Noctis, as he didn´t try to check if Noctis felt the same in all that time. He wanted to hold on to the idea that all would be ok as long as it could stay as his right hand. He wondered if it was right, but the king was right, nothing could prevent them from being together. Ignis sighed and smiled to him.
- We should wait, even if it´s a few months Noct. Observe how or relationship is going. Then we could make an official announcement.
- No.
- No?
- No.
- No… what?
- I don´t want to.
- Noctis.- Ignis looked at him severely, he knew it was another of his temper tantrums.
- I don´t need to observe anything, the only thing that would change would be that I could kiss you at my pleasure and hold hands in the aisles.- once again, Ignis´s cheeks were filed with a slight red color.
- You´re being irrational. No need to rush everything.
- Your king has been waiting twenty years for today.
- You´re still a kid.- Ignis´s tone was harsh but not hurtful, and although his convenience had always been like that, never bothered by his childish form that he had for certain things.
- I don´t care… if not, let´s dance together at the New Year´s ball, you can´t refuse, you owe me for the kiss you didn´t answer to me that night.
- You know that´s blackmail?
- Yeah- Noctis´ voice was serious and his determination was heard. Ignis smiled and took his hands to kiss them.
- As your wish, Your Majesty.
After that, they were in the room for a while between kisses and caresses. For his part, Ignis apologized for what had happened in previous years as Noctis reminded him that he always had doubts about what Ignis thought about, after all, they reaffirmed what they felt for each other. Despite the happiness, both had to get ready for dinner. Noctis insisted to stay there all night but he knows that it couldn´t be like that.
At the end they came out. As always, Ignis was behind Noctis. The main hall was full of the mandataries, the council, the servants and some other guests. The white lights filled the celling, the silver and white ornaments filled the room, the aisles and almost the whole space. The dinner went well. Gladio y Prompto arrived a few minutes later and chatted while Noctis greeted everyone.
The king had come to an agreement with Ignis: they´d act in a normal way for a while and even if they were a couple they wouldn´t make anyone know by now.
The time for the dance had come and everyone made space in hall center as Noctis stood a few up in the main staircase to give the speech.
- … that said, I can only wish you one more good year an may the Gods bless all Insomnia as well as all Eos. Cheers.
- Cheers.- everyone raised their glasses and toasted in union.
Seconds later, the orchestra began to play Valse di Fantastica, which slightly baffled some because, it was not the usual song for the New Year celebration, however it didn´t surprise as much as seeing the royal chief advisor Ignis Scientia approach King Noctis to bow and rise his hand to ask for the dance with the king. Noctis grinned, bowed and took his hand. They walked together to the center of the runaway and the applause flooded the hall.
- Did you order this song?- asked Noctis placing one hand on his partner´s shoulder.
- I used to teach you how to dance with this piece, remember?- answered a smiling Ignis holding the other had of his king.
- How could I forget it?.
And so, they danced with the grace they always had, the looked magnificent simply by being together. Ignis guided him. Ignis led him with elegance and Noctis followed his footsteps. That moment, that dance was theirs, only for them. No matter how many people were there, only they existed.
From that moment Noctis knew that his life was complete. All those years waiting and beside the one who loved had been totally beautiful. And even though he never believed in happy endings, he knew that all he wanted was to stay like this, with Ignis, he wanted nothing else.
Ignis still did not believe it. It seemed like a dream but otherwise the joy didn´t fit in his chest. After all this time, finally his love and devotion could be declared without any fear. Finally he can stay by his love King side. He thanked the gods for allowing him.
What they didn´t know was that the gods themselves had destined them to be together.