new year potluck

“The idol is late.”

The foreman stopped chopping the spring onions and looked up.

“I guess it’s an idol’s job to arrive fashionably late,” added his companion in a deep baritone. Ken was still stirring the contents of the pot in front of him.

“No. Engineer had something to finish at his lab,” said the foreman. “It sounded urgent when he talked to me earlier today.”

“Hm… Well, I’ve no complaints as long as they make it to the New Year potluck.” Ken turned around and went back to cooking his Vietnamese pho.

They had not really planned on a New Year potluck, but upon the insistence of their good engineer friend, they somehow managed to plan and pull-off a gathering. The writer and his surfer boy had just gotten back from visiting the latter’s family in Surigao for the holidays. The idol was on an extended break, and engineer promised he would end work early for dinner. Josh filed for leave at the construction company for the New Year, and Ken, his beloved CEO, found just enough time to squeeze in a friends’ meet-up in his busy schedule. Granted, the CEO would be leaving for Belgium in a week’s time and had a lot of things he was looking into, but Josh liked to think Ken loved him enough to give in to his whims.

It made the foreman feel loved. Sometimes, he could not even believe someone of Ken’s standing loved him. Or that he could be friends with such interesting and ‘sparkly’ people.

Ding-dong!

The doorbell rang for a second time that night. Less than an hour ago, Josh had opened the door of Ken’s massive condominium to let in the writer, surfer boy, and their assortment of gifts and souvenirs. It was already past eight in the evening, and Josh guessed their new arrivals would be none other than the life of the party, the engineer.

“That must be them,” Josh called out.

He had already taken a step forward when Ken stopped him.

“Ah, angel. Before you go. Can you taste this? So I know if it’s to your liking.” CEO held out a wooden spoon with delicious-looking broth dripping from it.

Josh approached his lover by the electric stove. Taking the spoon Ken held out, he cooled the contents down before putting it to his lips.

Josh let the flavor coat his tongue for a while, his mouth bursting with umami. He smiled. If indeed the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, then it was no wonder how CEO Ken managed to put up a permanent residence in the foreman’s.

But Josh was still a better cook. “The broth is a little too salty, I think?”

Ken frowned.

“Hm…? Let me taste.” He wrapped his hand around Josh’s wrist, bringing the spoon up to his face. Then, Ken put his mouth around Josh’s, tongue sweeping greedily inside his mouth.

Surprised, Josh jumped. But before he could protest, Ken was already pulling away. CEO gave him a playful smile as he licked his lips. A furious blush colored the foreman’s face red.

“It tasted very sweet to me…”

“Seriously!”

“I might be wrong so maybe I should have another taste—”

“Ken, get off me—”

“Ehem!”

Josh pushed Ken’s face back, stuck in his position when the latter pulled him close by the waist. They both turned to the kitchen entrance where the writer watched them with fond bemusement.

“So, are the two of you done, or should I just get the door?” he teased.

“We were just getting started, thank you for interrupting,” Ken replied.

Foreman turned a shade deeper. “I’ll get it…!”

He peeled himself off Ken’s embrace and walked to the foyer, but not without getting another kiss from the CEO. He pushed the other man off forcefully, the writer chuckling at their antics before he was able to leave the kitchen.

Josh thought he had gotten used to Ken’s affectionate advances, but apparently, he still gets surprised from time to time. How long would it take to get used to his life with the CEO, Josh wondered as he opened the door.

“Hey, pretty boy!” came the newcomer’s greeting.

The door opened, and Josh almost squinted his eyes. Idol Ken was standing in front of him wearing a black mask and dark casual clothes. But he looked so brilliant it was like he had a spotlight on him all the time.

“Hello to you, too, idol.” Josh turned to the idol’s companion, who was equally handsome and sparkly. “Hi, engineer. I hope you didn’t find it difficult to get here?”

“Nah, not at all,” said the engineer, immediately taking Josh into a one-armed hug. “This building is pretty popular so it wasn’t any trouble.”

“That’s good. Come in!”

The idol held out two baskets. “We brought ham and fruits, by the way…”

“Oh! But you didn’t have to.”

“It’s okay, foreman,” engineer assured, dragging the other two into the living room. “We didn’t want to come empty-handed to CEO’s—oy! Hey, surfer baby!”

Another sparkly person, who was busy watching Netflix on the wide-screen, perked up like a large Labrador. Surfer boy turned to the entrance, shining with a smile that was bright as the sun.

“Hi!” He jumped to his feet and approached the older ones behind the couch. Surfer boy clung to the idol, “Hey! You brought a guitar!”

The idol, who had always been fond of surfer boy, gave him a confident grin. “It’s yours.”

“What, really?!”

“Yeah. It’s old, and I don’t use it anymore so it’d be a waste.”

Surfer boy’s eyes sparkled. “Idol…”

“Who?”

“Kuya idol...”

“Well, let’s leave them in their La-La Land,” the engineer whispered to Josh while the other two sauntered back to the living room. “Ken hasn’t shut up about getting surfer boy a gift for Christmas, so he bought him a new guitar… Don’t tell.”

“Oh, that’s very sweet.”

“Right? Seriously, you’d think he’s Ken’s kid or something.”

“So, he’s like your baby, then?”

“Oh, gods. Gross, foreman. I don’t even like kids.”

They made their way to back to the kitchen, easing into a quick conversation about the engineer’s robotics projects. As they talked, Josh could not help but stare at how handsome the engineer was. His pretty but piercing eyes, his small face framed by his mop of dyed brownish-black hair. The more Josh stared, the more awed he felt at how his friends all seemed nothing less than overly handsome and talented. Their New Year potluck felt more of a demigod's gathering.

Then, there was the foreman… a mere mortal.

And sometimes, Josh wondered if he were even a good match for his lover. Ken could have any one of the classy, rich, and handsome or beautiful men and women he wanted. Surely, someone else would match him even better than Josh.

The writer, for example. By far, Josh had never seen anyone as androgynously beautiful as him. The writer was a subject of fairytales, a muse written and sung about. His elegance would look good next to Ken in corporate parties and business meetings. He would not look out of place at all. He was so unlike Josh, who was a regal embarrassment waiting to happen.

Those were Josh’s thoughts as he and the engineer paused by the kitchen entrance, just watching Ken and the writer laugh together, Ken holding the writer’s hand in his, putting it close to his lips.

It was all a huge-ass misunderstanding. The engineer knew it. The foreman knew it. Heck, even surfer baby, who walked in after them, knew it.

Josh was just chatting away to the foreman about his new robotics project. He had a basket of fruits in one hand while the foreman had a bunch of ham in his. Foreman was the only person Josh could ever nerd out about robots and engineering in their bunch, so talking to him was always a pleasure.

They walked into the kitchen. CEO and writer were there, chuckling about something, looking sentimental like the old friends they were. CEO held up the writer’s hand close to his face, looking at it with squinted eyes, and the writer seemed smug as he flaunted his tattoo ring. Josh even wanted to get in on the scenario.

So, really. The engineer could vouch that everything was just him and the foreman walking in on one whipped guy showing off his engagement ring to his friend. There was nothing wrong with it, although Josh had to admit that the two looked hella good together. But that was not the context. As he said, it was a huge-ass misunderstanding.

But just because it was a misunderstanding did not mean the pain was also make-believe. Josh could feel the foreman grow more and more withdrawn as he chuckled dryly at the scene they walked in on. And poor surfer boy, who came in after them, could not hide his confusion. He deflated like a kicked puppy.

At dinner, Josh could understand the cold tension that hung in the atmosphere around CEO’s small dining table. Everyone ate in silence, exchanged a few awkward words like, “This is good,” and “Uh… Yeah… Thanks,” before the conversation eventually died its natural death. Dinner had been as so quiet they might have been in a funeral. Even the idol, who was clueless about everything, noticed that something was wrong.

And the engineer did not like that. Josh was someone who thrived in cheerful social gatherings. He could not let their New Year potluck end on a sad note. He does not want their small family to start the year like that either.

Josh took the lead in the conversations. He poured everyone and even himself wine. He asked interesting questions, even got the foreman and writer to talk to each other. And then, they opened their second bottle of Crémant and gods-know-how-many-beer-bottles.

“So, yeah… I’m kinda in the middle of something right now, Chad,” Josh told his labmate from Berkeley over the phone. “But… Even after, I don’t think I can go.”

Chad paused before answering. “Come on, Josh. Don’t reject it just yet, okay? We’d love to have you onboard for this project.”

“I dunno, Chad. That’s gonna take at least three years… I don’t… wanna leave home right now.”

“You sure you won’t change your mind tomorrow?”

“Haha, I doubt that.” Someone put a hand on his shoulder, making Josh turn around. It was Ken. “Chad. I’ll call you back, okay?”

“Who was that?” Ken asked, eyes squinted while Josh hurried to stuff his phone in his pocket. Then, the engineer retrieved a fancy-looking bottle of wine from the CEO’s wine rack in the kitchen.

“Uh… Chad. He’s a colleague from Berkeley.”

“Oh, yeah. I know Chad,” Ken said, rolling his eyes to the back of his head.

“Wow. Are you going to start something, too?” Josh teased, poking the idol’s cheek.

Ken just sneered. “No. Because there’s no competition.”

“And you’re absolutely right.”

The idol was quiet for two seconds before he switched gears and said, “So, what was that about? It sounded important.”

Josh just shook his head. “It wasn’t. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow,” he replied. “Right now, we have to get back to dinner.”

“Yeah, about dinner…” The idol put a hand to touch Josh’s forehead and his cheeks. “You okay? You’re starting to glow red.”

“I’m fine,” Josh replied, shrugging. “I’m not drunk yet.”

“Yes, but after one more glass, you will be.” Ken’s tone was reprimanding. He sighed. “Go easy on the booze, please, babe?”

Josh chuckled. 

“Is that why you’ve come here after me? To stop me from taking more wine?”

“Yes… Because who do you think will haul your ass back to our house when you’re drunk, huh?”

Josh smiled. “Say that again?”

“Which part?”

“The one where you said you’d take me to our house…”

Ken looked flabbergasted. “Well, where else am I supposed to take you? We live together!”

Josh’s smile grew wider. Heat warmed his cheeks that had nothing to do with the alcohol. The bottle he had retrieved from CEO’s stash suddenly felt like nothing as Ken’s concerned gaze weighed on his mind… and warmed his heart. Was it inappropriate to feel loved when his friends’ love lives were tense at the very moment? He did not know. All Josh knew was he was happy where he was. After all, he was living with the man he thought would be forever blind to his affections. And while Ken returning even an ounce of his love felt like a pipe dream in the past, there Josh was, receiving Ken’s love… a love branded just for him.

The engineer leaned forward to kiss Ken’s cheek. “I’ll go easy on the wine when the others stop stressing me out.”

Ken frowned. “Maybe we should just go home early—”

“Babe… It’s hard enough for the six of us to get to find a time to get together. I don’t wanna end it like this.”

“Hmp. Fine.” Ken swiped the bottle of wine from Josh’s hands. “But if you drink one too many—”

“I’ll be fine…” Josh assured him. “I have my boyfriend who’s practically impervious to drunkenness. I think I’ll get home safely.”

The idol scowled at Josh before wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him to kiss his temples.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

Josh just grinned, knowing there was no need for a reply.

Dinner was not a disaster.

But it was not a cheerful celebration, either. Judging by how surfer boy kept mostly to himself and his beers, the writer thought there was a better way to spend a friendly New Year potluck. At least, better than having a tense dinner borne out of a complete misunderstanding.

Josh wanted to set Ken aside and talk to him, but he was not sure if it was appropriate yet. He could only run circles on surfer boy’s knee with his thumb while the latter downed his beer. More than a year and a tattoo ring later, Josh still failed at conflict resolution with his surfer boy. What was worse was that Josh was not sure why Ken was acting like that. Was he mad that Josh and the CEO had skinship? Was he jealous of their closeness? Or was Ken being like that due to something way different from the writer’s imagination?

Without an answer to his own questions, Josh spiraled into an internal panic. He could no longer tell what the engineer was saying as he laughed out loud and made drunk jokes. Foreman’s lingering gazes felt a little too piercing. And it could have just been Josh’s imagination, but Ken felt a little more distant even if they sat right next to each other on the long couch.

The food was great. The wine was spectacular. What little of the conversation Josh actually understood sounded fun. No, dinner was not a disaster at all. But it all felt incomplete without hearing the child-like laughter of his surfer boy.

Josh felt miserable as he and the idol made their way back down the stairs. Idol had been nice enough to drive Josh and a very intoxicated Ken back to their condominium. The man even left his own drunk boyfriend sleeping in the car to help Josh drag surfer boy and his guitar to bed.

“Uh… So you and CEO, huh?” came the idol’s innocent question. Josh only gave him an incredulous look. “I was just asking! I mean, how come I’m the only one who didn’t know you two had a history?”

“Because we don’t,” Josh snapped back. “It couldn’t even be considered history because we never dated. Ken knows this. Foreman, too. I just…”

“You don’t know how to defend yourself?”

Josh sighed. “I’m… not good at communication, okay?” He sighed again, deeper that time. “I suck at being patient in explaining things… and Ken… I don’t even know what he’s upset about.”

The idol just kept staring.

“I mean… was he jealous or was he mad? I wish I could read his mind.” Josh gave the idol a tired smile. “I wish we understood each other as intimately as you and engineer.”

“Well, yeah. ‘Cause, we’ve known each other for years now. And we were best friends before we dated.” Idol’s chest puffed up a little as if he took pride in flaunting his relationship with the engineer. “But… I dunno. Can I give you unsolicited advice?”

The writer only stared in reply.

“You don’t need to talk about everything right away. Erm, sometimes, you just gotta sit down together, you know? Just let baby boy know you’re there. He’ll talk when he’s ready.”

“You sound like his father.”

“CEO is his father,” idol corrected. “I’m just the really cool older brother.”

“Who bought him a new guitar.”

“Wait, how’d you know it was new?”

“Because I know you’ll never give away your own guitars?”

“Ah, well. That’s true.”

Josh gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks for buying him one. He was torn between buying a guitar or a laptop. I’m glad he can have both. So thank you.”

“What can I say? I’m cool.”

“Wow. That was very arrogant of you. But still, thank you.”

“Honestly? My pleasure.”

“Drive home safe.”

“I have a baby on board. I’ll be very careful.”

Idol rolled his eyes and gave the writer a friendly pat on the shoulder. Then, Josh watched him walk down the hall and disappear into the elevator.

As soon as the idol was gone, Josh heaved a sigh and walked back up to their room where his lover lay. Josh sat on the mattress, caressing surfer boy’s hair between his delicate fingers.

“Hi… I didn’t want to end tonight like this,” Josh whispered to the napping surfer boy. “But you know I love you, right? Only you…”

Ken remained still.

“I’ve never felt as strongly about anyone other than you. So, please. Talk to me about this soon? You can be mad, I don’t care. Just…” Josh sighed again. “Just don’t keep quiet about this.”

He leaned down, pressing a heartfelt kiss into surfer boy’s fringe. He could still smell and taste the alcohol on Ken, and it felt strangely calming to him.

To his surprise, Ken moved and yanked him closer. Josh opened his eyes, finding himself staring straight into his lover’s drooped ones. He was about to pull back, but Ken kept a strong grip on him and held him tight.

Surfer boy rolled over, pinning Josh underneath him. He leaned in, his alcohol-stained breath fanning over Josh’s face.

“Ken?” Josh gasped as he looked at his lover’s intense gaze. The usual warmth in his brown irises was replaced by a furnace that burned with intensity—a look that was confused, pained, and possessive.

Josh felt like those eyes could send him bursting into flames… yet he was not scared.

“Ken, are you mad—?”

Ken continued to stare at Josh into oblivion. With a bruising grip on the writer, he whispered in a gravelly voice, "Mine."

Surfer boy attacked Josh, lunging at him with fevered kisses and hard bites.

“Mine,” he kept whispering in between his nibbles. “My writer…! Mine!”

And Josh had no retort to that. He found he had nothing to say as he submitted to his surfer boy.

Tears rolled gently down Josh’s cheeks as relief washed over him. Relief… and a mix of pain and pleasure.

He just clung to Ken, whispering back, “Yours… Yours.”

Ken was a man of many talents. He was a man of many assets and capabilities. He could charm any new affiliate and employee with just a smile, and nobody dared question his charisma.

And yet, Ken could not talk to his own sulking lover.

Their New Year potluck had long finished. Everyone had gone home with their fill of food and wine. Ken had cleared the table, and the foreman, although a little drunk, had enough awareness to wash the dishes. All the while, neither of them talked. Neither of them mentioned anything.

As CEO, Ken was trained in handling such matters. He had thousands of employees and partners, after all. But only when it came to the foreman does he lose his form. He found himself floundering where to begin.

Josh walked in a suspicious curve to the living room where he kept his bags. Ken followed right behind him, ready to catch him if he ever fell. They did not talk, but only kept wary of each other in silence.

“I’m going home,” foreman said flatly as he picked up his backpack and tote bag.

Ken frowned. “Love… Love, you’re drunk.”

“I’m tipsy, but I’m not drunk.”

The CEO hurried to his lover’s side. “Well, your words are slurring like a drunk person’s.” Ken deftly snaked his arms around foreman’s muscled body and began to nibble the tips of his ears. “Stay the night, angel? Hmm?”

“I want to go home.”

“Because?”

“M-My cat… I have to feed my cat.”

“You said you left the little devil with a friend.”

“I’m… worried about him.”

“What about me? Aren’t you worried about me?”

“You’re a grown man… You can take care of yourself.”

Ken tightened his hold when Josh began to twist himself free. “Love…”

“I swear, I’m not in the mood right now, Ken.”

“Tell me why…”

Josh stopped squirming. He dragged his silence even as he was dragged to sit on Ken’s lap on the couch.

“Please, angel?” Ken pleaded. “Tell me what I can do to make you feel better…”

Josh relaxed into his embrace. “Did… he give you a gift?”

“Who?”

“W-Writer…”

Ken’s ears perked in interest. “Oh… Well… Yes. He gave me a tie and a tie clip.”

“Oh…”

“Should… I not have received it?”

“No! No. You… you deserve nice things…”

Ken just nuzzled his head at the crook of Josh’s neck. He smelled pleasantly of wine. “Well, I don’t know about material possessions, but… I surely feel like I have the best.”

Josh giggled quietly. It was Ken’s small victory.

“Angel… You know JC and I have never been more than friends, right? We were never in a relationship.” The foreman did not answer, but Ken knew he was listening. “I was honest with you when I said that I tried to flirt with him once, but then it never happened again.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just…” Josh paused, then seemed to decide against conversing. “Nevermind. It’s okay… It doesn’t bother me anymore. I was just surprised.”

Ken breathed out. He could tell there was something more to it than what Josh was letting on, but could not confront his angel about it. For all his talent, assets, and charisma, one of the things Ken could not do was confront his beloved.

Ken said, “Yes, I know. I’m sorry, love. I promise it was all just a misunderstanding.”

Josh nodded.

“So…”

“So, what?”

“Speaking of gifts…”

Josh flinched. “Wait. How did you—?!”

“How did I what?”

“Know… that I had… one…?”

“Hmm? You have one for me?”

“I—erm… I…”

Ken chuckled, pulling Josh closer and nuzzling against the back of his neck. Another thing he did not know how to do was predict Josh. He had a feeling Josh was keeping something from him; Ken just did not know it was a gift.

The events that night were pushed to the background, shelved for another day. The only thing that occupied Ken’s mind then was how thoughtful Josh was of him.

With a light buzz filling his chest, Ken held the foreman closer. “May I see it?” he asked. “Your gift…”

“I-It’s… it’s nothing fancy like a… a tie clip or anything. I just… I didn’t know what to get you, so…”

“It’s okay, love. I want to see it.”

Josh sighed, resigned. Without freeing himself from Ken’s clingy back hug, Josh set his backpack down on the floor. Then, he grabbed his nondescript tote bag and took out an elegant black box tied with a gold ribbon. The box was large enough to fit two pairs of shoes.

The foreman swallowed audibly as he pulled the ribbon free and opened the lid. Inside was a thick knitted red scarf that he folded up, along with a plastic container with delicious-looking chocolate truffles.

“I, uh… I’m sure you already have a lot of scarves, but… I guess… Belgium would be cold, wouldn’t it? So, I made you… a scarf.”

“‘Made’, you said.”

“I knitted it.”

“You knitted it?”

“What, a guy can’t have a hobby?”

“No, it’s…” Ken let go of Josh so he could unfurl the thick wooly scarf. “Angel… how long did it take for you to knit this?”

“Er… I had to rush it so… A few weeks?” Josh held it in his hands, too. “Erm… It’s not very pretty, but…”

“No, it’s wonderful. And… the chocolates?”

“Oh, I made those, too…”

“Angel,” Ken could only say.

“I mean. I wanted to buy you something but… I couldn’t think of anything you don’t already have. Then, you told me about your trip to Belgium.”

“Love…” Ken went back to burying as much of his large body into Josh’s muscles. “Love, I don’t know what to say…”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. I love—” replied Ken. Unable to say the rest, he just said, “Ich liebe dich, mein engel. я тебя люблю. Je vous aime…”

“Ken… you know I don’t speak foreign languages, right?”

I know, Ken thought. He knew. But he did not know how to tell Josh he loved him without scaring him off. The CEO just held him tighter. “I said that I really appreciate the heart you put into this. And that I will wear this for sure.”

“Oh… Okay.” Josh placed his hand over Ken’s.

“Angel, let me give you something, too.”

Josh seemed to ponder for a bit. “No.”

“Pardon?”

“Don’t… give me any material gifts. Please?”

Ken paused. The keys to the new Almera he had already bought and entitled to the foreman jingled in his pocket.

“What?”

“No stuff,” he repeated. “No… luxury brands, no designer clothes, no custom-made shoes.”

“But angel—”

“Instead…” Josh took a deep breath as if he were gathering enough courage for what he was about to say next. Ken braced himself. “Instead… can I ask for a few days? A few days before you leave,” he pleaded. “I know you have to work, but if we can… let’s spend some uninterrupted time together.”

“Oh…”

“I don’t need anything for Christmas. Or New Year. If it’s not too much of a bother, I… I want to spend as much time before you leave for Belgium.”

“Love,” Ken huffed, amused. What a mysterious, beautiful creature. It baffled Ken that a request so simple from Josh could make him feel giddy. He was already thirty-one, for heaven’s sake! “You are… astounding.”

“So, do we have a deal?”

Ken tilted his head to look at his over properly. As expected, the foreman flushed deep crimson. But it was unfair that Josh looked like a masterpiece from heaven even in his flustered state.

The CEO cupped his chin.

“How can I say ‘no’ when you look at me like that, mein engel,” Ken whispered in a sultry voice that seemed to make Josh whimper. “Ich liebe dich.”

Ken closed the gap before Josh could say any more.

Surfer boy breathed in and gave a satisfied sigh. His writer had always smelled mildly of mint and coffee beans, and Ken thought it was great. But even if he smelled of sweat, Ken was fond of his scent just the same.

He nuzzled against the crown of Josh’s head and buried his face into the perfume even more.

The scent brought with it flashes of the night before.

Oh, shit.

“Ken, it hurts…!”

“Ken, plea—please…!”

“Slo—ah—slow dow—ngh!”

Oh.

Shit!

Ken spared a glance at the still sleeping man on top of him. An arm was splayed over Ken’s chest like a lifeless corpse holding on to its salvation. Josh lay over him, numerous bite marks and coin-sized bruises blossoming red and purplish-blue all over his pale skin. It was everywhere. Ken had to wonder how in the world he had bitten the writer’s heel and the back of his thighs.

Surfer boy’s temples throbbed in pain, his veins pulsing as he reminisced. He did not remember all the details of what happened their previous night, but he had a good fucking clue how it went down.

Josh in tears. Josh pleading. Josh whimpering.

It made Ken feel bad; worse than being jealous of the CEO then being guilty about it.

Josh stirred in his arms. The writer seemed to slowly take in what was happening around him, blinking several times before sitting up. More bites and bruises and scratches adorned his chest.

His gaze traveled from all around the room until to fell on Ken’s face. He looked straight into surfer boy’s eyes.

Ken blinked furiously, feeling immense guilt the more he looked at Josh’s unreadable expression.

The writer gave him a tender smile.

“Hi…” Josh caressed the sides of Ken’s face. He traced a smooth finger on Ken’s lower lip. It stung. “Good morning…”

Josh settled back into Ken’s chest, and the latter could only hold him there. Ken was too confused to begin to process what was happening. Should not Josh be mad?

“You’re quiet…” Josh noted when they had been quiet for a while.

“I… don’t know what to say.”

The writer chuckled. “How about a ‘good morning’?”

Ken could only hug his beautiful lover tighter. “Are you okay?” he asked in a voice that he had to squeeze past his windpipe. “You look hurt...! You got… a lot of marks…”

“Mm… I do,” Josh answered with an amused voice. “You bit me a lot.”

“So-Sorry… Josh, I’m really sorry…”

“I know… I bit you back. It’s fine.”

Ken looked down to examine his own body. “Gah! This one is bleeding!”

“Hmp… Serves you right.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t—” he held Josh tightly, like doing so would make him feel less guilty. “I’m never drinking again! I promise!”

“Everything in moderation.”

“I feel so bad…!”

“Ken, did you really think I couldn’t have stopped you if I wanted to?” asked Josh, giving him a rare childish pout. “Now, you’re just looking down on me.”

“Yeah, but… I hurt you…”

“It’s okay…” Josh assured, running delicate fingers across Ken’s lovebites. “Once in a while… rough is okay.” He blushed. 

Ken blushed, too. He had always been gentle with Josh, so being as aggressive as he had been was new for both of them. But he would be lying if he said he did not enjoy it a little bit it.

They cuddled for a while longer, Josh counting and re-counting all the marks and bruises he gave to Ken. Meanwhile, surfer boy racked his brains for how to start a proper conversation.

With no idea how to, Ken began with a kiss to Josh’s forehead.

“I love you…” he whispered.

“Hm…”

“And… sorry if I acted like that last night. I mean… I know I wasn’t very nice.”

“Mm-hmm…”

“I… really felt a little jealous, you know? I mean, I knew you were close with the CEO, and I get that. But knowing about it and seeing it were two totally different things. I…” Ken took a huge gulp of air. “I don’t know exactly what happened but… I just felt a little left out, you know? And when I figured I was getting a little mad at you and CEO, I just… I became mad at myself. I dunno… I didn’t wanna cause a scene, but then I ended up causing one anyway. Sorry. Sorry, Josh…”

Josh gave him a blank stare. Only the tenderness in his eyes betrayed the indifference in his expression.

The writer kissed Ken’s chin where he could reach. He chuckled.

“Wow… not talking worked better than I thought it would.”

“Don’t make fun of me…” Ken puffed his cheeks at him.

“I’m not… I’m actually proud of you.” Josh melted into Ken’s arms again. "It's okay. I understand. Thank you for telling me."

"Thanks for not getting mad..."

“But Ken…”

“Yeah?”

“You know that jealousy is only cute in the movies, right?” Josh looked back up at him. “I’m saying… I don’t want either of us to be constantly jealous of other people. Okay?”

Ken nodded. “Yeah. I know. I swear, I know.”

“Let’s do better next time, okay?”

“Promise.”

“Okay… Now, I think we need to bathe,” Josh said. “Er… We couldn’t clean up last night and my stomach kind of hurts...”

“O-Oh…” Ken blinked, feeling heat creep up his neck and his face. “Okay…” He slowly sat up, then gathered Josh in his arms.

“What’re you doing?!”

Ken just continued to walk to their bathroom. “You’re hurting so… I’ll take care of you.”

“It’s—It’s fine—!”

“Yeah, I know…” Ken grunted. He was sure he was very red. “This is fine…”

He could feel Josh watch him for a little while. The writer chuckled then noted, “Don’t you think you’re being too happy about this?”

“Don’t laugh…!” Ken whined. “I always… wanted to carry you to the bathroom… but I never got the chance.”

“What?”

“Don’t… judge me.”

Josh just chuckled and melted into Ken's arms. Then, he let surfer boy do what all he wanted.

“Haha! So basically, it's angry sex!”

“It’s not like that! I wasn’t angry!”

“Yeah, yeah. And how was it?”

“Hmp. I’m not telling.”

“But you made up, right?”

“Uhm… Yeah… Yeah, we did.”

Surfer boy sounded cheery enough as he told Ken everything that happened since the night before. For someone who was guzzling all the beer he did, he seemed pretty fine. Compared to him, Ken’s engineer only drank three and a half glasses of alcohol, and he was currently battling a terrible hangover.

“And the CEO? Have you talked yet?”

“No… I dunno… I should probably talk to him, huh?”

“Well, yeah…” Ken said, the phone stuck between his ear and his shoulder. He was making his way up their bedroom, carrying a bed tray with food and hangover medicine for Josh. “But only when you’re good and ready, man.”

“Yeah… I know… I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“Good.” Ken opened the door to his room with one hand and pushed his way in. Josh was already awake and on his phone, giving him a grateful look from their bed. “Hey, surfer baby, I have to go. Text me later, okay?”

“Okay! Tell engineer I said ‘hi’…”

“Yup. See ya,” he said, ending the call. Ken set down the bed tray over Josh’s legs then sat on the bed next to him.

“Was that surfer baby?” Josh asked after taking his first spoonful of warm porridge.

“Yeah… He said he made up with the writer.”

“That’s good. And foreman?”

“Dunno… CEO isn’t replying in the chat, so maybe he’s not up yet.”

“Geez. Those guys really stressed me out last night, so they’d better.” Josh gave Ken a smug smile.

“Cut them some slack. It was probably their first time having that kind of misunderstanding.”

“Good thing we know each other inside-out, huh? We don’t usually get jealous like that anymore.”

Ken chuckled. “You know, writer said something along those lines last night.”

“What?”

“That we understood each other’s minds really well,” Ken said.

“Well, isn’t that the truth?” the engineer chuckled as he devoured spoonful after spoonful.

Ken nodded, passing Josh the Advil and a glass of water. “Yeah… so I kinda know when you’re tiptoeing around me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know…” Ken shrugged at him. “That phone call you received last night. You still haven’t talked to me about it.”

Engineer stared wide-eyed at Ken halfway through shoving a spoonful of porridge in his mouth. He ate it, swallowed, then turned his gaze and nonchalantly scooped another spoonful.

“Oh… That was nothing. Don’t worry about it,” he said.

“What was it about?”

“Uhm. There was an offer…” Josh kept eating. “UC is partnering with MIT for traffic surveillance tech, and they’re looking for assistants. It’s a pretty long-term project, and they’re giving subsidy for the assistants’ doctorate studies for it, too.”

“And?”

“I rejected it, of course.”

“What? Why?!” Ken yelled loudly, making the engineer flinch.

“I don’t… need a PhD. I’m good with my MS, and I’m sure there are a lot of people more deserving for it.”

“But I thought you wanted to explore more subfields in engineering?” Ken asked him, frowning.

“Yeah, I do…”

“So? It sounded like a good opportunity.”

“Well, it is…”

“So, take it!”

“I already rejected it.”

“Call them back! Tell them you were drunk!”

“Ken…” Josh chuckled and placed a hand on the idol’s arm. “I’m fine. I don’t wanna go.”

“Why not? It’s such a waste, babe…”

Josh breathed out. He gave Ken a tentative glance before leaning back on the headboard.

“The project will go on for at least three years,” he began. “Yeah, I want to try doing it. But that means I’ll have to stay abroad for some time, and… I only just had you. I don’t… I don’t wanna ruin this yet, baby. I’m happy where I am now. With you.”

Ken smiled at him. “C’mere.”

Josh snickered, then let Ken pull him into a side hug. They exchanged hums for a few minutes, a wordless conversation that they knew well. Ken kissed Josh’s temple several times, and Josh would chuckle and squeeze the idol’s knee.

“Remember before? You also dropped out of grad school to stay with me? Remember that?” the idol asked after some time.

“Yeah, I do.”

“And remember when I told you I didn’t want you to sacrifice your career growth like that anymore?” Josh hummed in response. “This is the same as that, babe. I don’t want you to hold back just because of me.”

“It’s different this time, Ken,” Josh retorted. “This time… Babe, we’re together.”

“Yeah, we are, babe. I know that. That’s why I want you to take it,” he insisted. “Please take the offer.”

“Baby…”

“I know you want to do it.”

Josh sighed. “I want to take it, yeah. But I want this better.” Josh gestured to the room they had been sharing for barely a month. “This is my life now, babe.”

“It's not like you'll leave right away," Ken pointed out. "If you take it, when do you start?”

“First term in the next school year. But they require assistants to get there around this summer.”

“See…? You can go there in the summertime.” Ken told him.

“You’re being too stubborn, Ken. I told you I’m not going—”

“I’ll go with you.”

Josh paused, peeled himself off Ken, and gave him a look of disbelief. “What?”

“I’ll follow you. Maybe around the fourth quarter of this year.”

Josh turned on the bed to face Ken, his face still twisted in confusion. “Wait, are you serious? What—Where the hell is this coming from?”

“I just don’t want you to waste this chance, Josh. Come on. When will you ever get an opportunity like this again?”

“Yes, but—but what about your career?” Josh asked in a high-pitched voice.

“I'll think about it. I could meet up with some producers in the US,” Ken explained, shrugging. “We have connections there. I might get to collab with other artists, have an international debut… Or I might just go on hiatus, I dunno. Maybe it’s my turn to give way to your career growth. Who knows?”

Josh stared at him.

The engineer continued to stare for seconds that seemed to drag on for minutes.

Finally, Josh lifted his hand and scratched the back of his head. “We should… plan this. I mean… This is even bigger than moving in together.”

“And we even breezed through that,” Ken noted smugly. “We’ll make this, too. So, take the offer, okay?”

Josh’s lower lip trembled a little. “Babe…”

“I know… I’m so darned handsome and understanding.” Josh laughed. Then, Ken raked a hand through the engineer’s hair just as tenderly as he would a work of art. “So, you’ll take it now, right?”

The engineer nodded. “How can I not?” He held Ken’s hand and kissed the inside of his palm. “I love you, babe.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ken leaned in to kiss his lover’s lips. “I love you, too…”