Work Text:
"It is in the lies he says that the truth is found,
when his eyes are closed or when he turns around,
I find it silly, the way it sounds-
how could such coldness melt me to the ground?"
-
Forming words is difficult. Terribly so.
Words are as dangerous as the swords that various warriors wield and they are as deadly as an arrow ready to fly and hit. If one were to wield his words in a manner alike wielding a sword, it would be an either careful or hasty unsheathing of blade from its scabbard. To unsheathe with great care is to mind the blade from ever piercing skin whether they be the wielder's own or another's (after all, didn't they say that words could kill?), whereas to unsheathe with haste is to be reckless with the possibilities of where the blade could land.
To wield words like one would with a bow and arrow? One would need to ensure the strings are pulled correctly, the arrow's end and tip held between fingers with a calculating gaze. This, if executed perfectly, would always be precise and deadly especially if it aimed at its target without missing. If done poorly, then one could only hope the arrow did not hit whatever should have been spared.
Liu Qingge can wield swords as easy as breathing, can shoot an arrow at his target with an aim that could best even the greatest archer.
Liu Qingge, however, cannot wield words.
He has understood this so when he had spoken ill of others and his mother pulled his ear when he'd been younger, her chides still as fresh as the sting of his twisted earlobe. She glared at him with an exasperation and a touch of helplessness. One could even say there'd been a hint of fondness. Still, she'd been stern.
"Has my son lost his wit that his tongue cannot be stilled? This mother is aware that her son has skills worthy of sung praises, but this mother is also aware that her son lacks the skills for simple camaraderie among his peers! Do not be so arrogant now, darling son. You will find that words are deadlier than any weapon you could ever hope to master."
She had been right, of course.
Liu Qingge is struggling in a way he has not before. Frustration creates a thread of heat inside his body, his hands clenching into fists, digging fingers into the rich fabric of his robes to crumple the smooth layer. His brows furrow, lips forming a small scowl, a heavy feeling in his chest rising all the way to his throat and simply remaining there to suffocate him.
"I do not recall inviting Liu-shidi into my Qing Jing Peak, let alone inside my Bamboo Dwelling." The scathing remark oddly compliments the sound of deep melodic voice, the harshness somehow a soothing balm, if not for the inner battle Liu Qingge is facing. His pride is wounded, yet he refuses to take a step back in spite his capabilities in speaking.
He does not know what to say, or rather does not know how to form the words from his thoughts and the motive that drove him here in the first place. He thinks of all the words he could tell, wonders if any would be enough to grant him the chance to stay and not be chased away. He tries to take more time to think but Shen Qingqiu's patience fades nearly into nothingness and he panics. He blurts out anything just to respond with something, barely having a care of saving himself some face. He knows he's dug himself his own grave.
"Is this how you usually welcome guests, Shen Qingqiu?" He asks, it comes out wrong and now Shen Qingqiu's gaze turns colder, the fan in his hand not quite prepared to be broken.
"Might I remind you that you are neither a guest nor are you welcomed?" Shen Qingqiu remarks with disdain and a firmness that gives off the feeling of a warning, and Liu Qingge is all too familiar with it: get out. Shen Qingqiu stands to face him properly and he sneers at him. "Had the skins of all the beasts you've slain thickened your face enough that you'd have the audacity to walk into this master's Peak and home?"
Liu Qingge burns under his scrutiny and his remarks and for a moment, he is irked, but wisely reminds himself of what he has come for and that he must not become the object of Shen Qingqiu's ire at least for today.
He sighs.
"It was meant to be a surprise." He murmurs.
Shen Qingqiu's gaze softens in a way that is too quick to harden for Liu Qingge to study. Green orbs are hidden from sight when Shen Qingqiu closes his eyes. He turns his back to Liu Qingge and his beautiful face escapes Liu Qingge's gaze.
"Stupid brute." Shen Qingqiu says. "Learn the difference between rudeness and surprising. I deeply lament whoever is unfortunate enough to spend the rest of their lives with a trespassing idiot."
Liu Qingge's lips quirk up the slightest.
"You lament yourself then."
A sharp intake of breath, the sound of wood cracking in what is certainly a tight grip. Shen Qingqiu turns to face him with a flustered glare, the fan in his hand already broken. Once Liu Qingge sees the broken fan, he beams in poorly hidden delight that makes Shen Qingqiu glare harder.
Yes!
Liu Qingge seizes the chance when it has been presented to him. He shoves his hand into his robes and takes out the gift that is perfect for this moment. He silently thanks the Heavens for opening a way for him to deliver his gift without him forming much words to explain. He throws the fan towards the other and Shen Qingqiu catches it despite his growing indignation. He watches as the latter puts the broken fan down on the table in favour of studying the new one that Liu Qingge threw at him.
Liu Qingge may not be an expert when it comes to the fine arts but even he could tell that the fan is of exquisite work. Shen Qingqiu eyes him with an unreadable expression before he darts his gaze back to the fan. Long elegant fingers trace the medallion spine, feeling the neatly carved characters of his name that makes his lips twitch upwards. He opens the fan and Liu Qingge takes pride in the way Shen Qingqiu's eyes widen the slightest, lips gaping ever so slowly.
Opening the fan reminds both of a show alike a proud peacock opening and showing off its beautiful feathers. The fabric is smooth in texture yet sturdy, a fine olive shade of green. Its width allows its edges to touch Shen Qingqiu's shoulders. The fabric is big enough to cover the entirety of his head and Shen Qingqiu does just so to observe. One could easily tell that it's made of silk from a notorious silk-producing beast that only formidable cultivators could slay. Such silk is difficult to acquire as they are not sold but fought for. The olive silk shines, as if glowing, with paintings of tuscany flowers laying atop emerald bamboo leaves. The paintings shimmer as though they were gold shining in broad daylight.
Shen Qingqiu lowers it to reveal his face. He fans once, twice, multiple times. Liu Qingge basks in the elegance of the other's manner, watches as soft strands fly for a moment. It is obvious that there is nothing Shen Qingqiu can do now to hide his awe, especially when the fan, in spite its length and width, is light, lacking the expected weight when he flicks his wrist to fan himself. It makes carrying the fan easy.
Shen Qingqiu seems pleased.
Liu Qingge swallows the lump in his throat. "Do you like it?"
Despite the pleasant expression that has fallen on Shen Qingqiu's face, his lips do not spare Liu Qingge any pleasantry. "To ask this master if he likes the fan that is conveniently presented to him just as his recent one has been broken, is similar to asking if he likes having his precious items broken on purpose just so he can obtain a planned replacement." His tone is laced with a familiar sound, but the familiarity disperses before Liu Qingge could name it once he deems to have realized the implication.
Liu Qingge's cheeks flare up, all the heat gathering to flush his skin with a bright red. He staggers slightly when Shen Qingqiu gives him a look of mixed irritation and amusement, albeit his cheeks are tinted pink from being flattered. Not that Liu Qingge could notice clearly as he's too busy thinking of how to respond.
"I- It's..." He stammers, making a fool of himself.
Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes. "If Liu-shidi wanted to present his gift, he should've told this master beforehand instead of inviting himself over as if he weren't from a noble standing with his lack of manners." He states, uncaring of Liu Qingge losing more face.
"You would turn me away before I could present." The Bai Zhan War God could not help but retort, like a child refusing to be scolded. The Qing Jing Peak Lord raises a brow. "You dare assume what I would do?"
"It's not assuming if it's the truth."
Shen Qingqiu scowls. "Then I'm afraid Liu-shidi knows not what's a lie and what is true."
Liu Qingge tries to tell himself to be wiser, that Shen Qingqiu is someone he is supposed to please—wants to please. Still,
"It's not my fault you refuse to let me know you."
Ah.
Shen Qingqiu is displeased.
"Perhaps it's because you're not talking to me."
Liu Qingge's heart drops and he denies, raising his voice. "But I am talking to you! I don't understand what you mean, Shen Qingqiu!"
"All you do is speak. You speak, Liu Qingge, and they're more often than not meaningless!"
"What's the difference!?"
Shen Qingqiu closes his new fan abruptly, a sign of frustration. He looks at Liu Qingge as if he's the most idiotic person to ever grace the earth. "To talk to me is to await what I would say, to speak to me is to deny me the chance to reply!"
Liu Qingge truly couldn't understand. "What the fuck!?"
Shen Qingqiu sighs in exasperation and he resorts to glaring at the other with anger marking every inch of his face instead. "Liu-shidi does not understand at all. This master was foolish to hope. Perhaps this, Liu-shidi would understand: get out of my Peak before I slap you with my fan."
Liu Qingge clenches his fists, eyeing the other with a quiet desperation. "I won't leave until you enlighten me." He stubbornly stands still. Shen Qingqiu snarls at him. "I'll enlighten you once you learn to form your words properly, so the next time you come, you will not embarrass yourself in front of me! Now leave me!"
Liu Qingge is reluctant to heed his words and it's obviously making Shen Qingqiu angrier. "You stubborn brainless brute!"
Liu Qingge cannot understand this man at all. "Shen Qingqiu, are you telling me that you're mad because I came uninvited? Or because I made you break your fan and you don't like the new one I've just gifted you?" He questions, and when Shen Qingqiu looks at him with eyes that tell him he's stupid did he realize that he is stupid.
"You fucking idiot." Shen Qingqiu hisses, the rude language barely surprising Liu Qingge when he does something that Liu Qingge did not expect he would do but should have thought of before. Shen Qingqiu raises his new fan and slams his head hard. Hard enough to make the War God actually wince and rub the aching spot with a stunned look. The expression Shen Qingqiu wears as he stands close enough that Liu Qingge can count his long eyelashes reminds the latter of the look his mother would have whenever she's scolding his father.
"Truly," Shen Qingqiu starts with barely hidden irritation, "being so terrible with words damaged your capability to intercept meanings!" He seethes. Liu Qingge, still rubbing his head, stares with open confusion (and a bit of a face a kicked puppy would make since he's reminded once again about how bad he is). "What do you-"
Shen Qingqiu silences him with another slap of his fan, this time, upon his left arm.
"Hey!"
"Shut it! You- Liu Qingge- so annoying!"
"How- How did I become annoying!? Why don't you just tell me specifically what it is! I may be terrible but I tried, okay!?"
Shen Qingqiu grits his teeth and abruptly looks away, the motion causing his long hair to nearly slap Liu Qingge's face. "For someone who's convinced and even promised he would court me properly, you aren't trying hard enough!" He exclaims, and before Liu Qingge could sneak in a protest, Shen Qingqiu beats him to it with another chiding. "Did you expect me to always be the one to spell it out for you? If I so much as offered the meanings in a silver platter, then I would have deprived you of the chance to understand my words and my actions. Was it not you yourself who boldly proclaimed to Zhangmen-shixiong and the entire sect that you would exert as much effort as you can to develop a deeper understanding of the one you wish to woo and pursue? How will Liu-shidi know this master and his character if all Liu-shidi does is believe himself to be trying hard enough, but still dare to presume he has prior knowledge to how this master will truly feel about his actions?"
Liu Qingge is stunned to complete silence. He swallows, feels his heart beating rapidly, his lips parting and folding whenever he tries to get a word out only to fail. His hand reaches out, his eyes taking in the sight of the other's back. He notices Shen Qingqiu's ears have become red, and when the other turns slightly to the side to grace Liu Qingge with the sight of him shaking and gently caressing the fan, it dawns on him.
Ah. Now I understand.
Shen Qingqiu is upset and deeply annoyed (and by the way he refuses to outright tell the meaning, he is also terribly flustered and embarrassed) that Liu Qingge isn't picking up all the signs. Liu Qingge feels a bit of shame for his part, but also warmth in his chest as fondness over the fact that Shen Qingqiu is still too shy to simply tell the truth himself, waiting for Liu Qingge to figure it out on his own because he has too much of a thin face.
Liu Qingge should have known Shen Qingqiu, for all the poison in his eyes and in his tongue, is rather sweet enough to render Liu Qingge overwhelmingly numb.
Liu Qingge has never been good with words, this has made him terrible in understanding one's speech. While he is not terrible enough to be even considered dimwitted, he's barely on Shen Qingqiu's level of perfect ease with words.
When Liu Qingge finds himself close enough to feel Shen Qingqiu's back leaning against his chest while his hand rests on the other's arm, he savours the moment the latter visibly relaxes in his hold, if not a little bit still reserved. Shen Qingqiu allows this however and softly starts, "You... Do you..." he trails off, and this time, Liu Qingge catches, "Hmm. I do."
Liu Qingge does understand it now. Shen Qingqiu is incredibly perfect with words that he manages to be contrary to the point of imperfection.
He'd said, 'I do not recall inviting Liu-shidi into my Qing Jing Peak, let alone inside my Bamboo Dwelling' and yet, Liu Qingge was not chased away. He'd said, Liu Qingge was neither a guest nor welcomed, yet if he truly was, then Shen Qingqiu would have never entertained him. He would have forced or even fought Liu Qingge (like before) to get him off his Peak if it truly offended him that Liu Qingge simply barged in.
Shen Qingqiu seemingly scolded him about his misplaced timing to present his gift and seemed rather displeased he had to break a favoured fan just to receive Liu Qingge's present for a new one (after all, Liu Qingge could have just given it to him without waiting for Shen Qingqiu to lose one from his beloved collection). Despite that, the truth is, regardless of the loss, Shen Qingqiu is more than happy for another gain. If he had truly been mad that he broke his old fan, then he would not have been too lenient on letting Liu Qingge free from this. He would have refused the new fan too.
He had also been upset that Liu Qingge assumed Shen Qingqiu would turn him away when he'd told him so. The latter even commented that Liu Qingge doesn't know what's supposed to be true or not. Recalling how the Qing Jing Peak Lord contradicts himself whenever he speaks what seems to ring true, Liu Qingge understands that Shen Qingqiu tells the truth whenever he lies. That he turns around before anyone can intercept it in his eyes.
Liu Qingge cannot wield words (and what he cannot wield, he cannot understand), but Shen Qingqiu wields them like he would a fan, freely and with ease—appearing harmless when it could strike, and capable of striking without causing harm.
You will find that words are deadlier than any weapon you could ever hope to master.
Liu Qingge takes it upon himself to become better, it would not be good if he remains unable to form and interpret the right words. It's already hard enough that Shen Qingqiu is a unique case in terms of speech, and it would be harder if Liu Qingge himself contributed to more misunderstandings because he could not find the proper words and often assumed.
He releases a soft breath, chin resting atop the other's head where he can inhale the fresh smell of flowers and tea. "Shen Qingqiu..." It almost surprises him that he himself sounds gentle. The aforementioned man hums and Liu Qingge starts once he's certain that he's not going to say anything far from what he actually wishes to say.
"I'm sorry." He apologizes. Shen Qingqiu tenses for a bit. "I have not tried hard enough for you and now that I have been enlightened, I will not try harder, but rather try my best. This, I can promise." His grip over Shen Qingqiu's arm tightens, but not too much pressure to leave a bruise. Shen Qingqiu opens his fan and covers his lips when he pulls away from Liu Qingge's hold and turns to face him.
"I do not forgive you." He replies. His eyes are closed and Liu Qingge simply knows and appreciates the coldness in his tone. Shen Qingqiu only opens his eyes again once Liu Qingge failed to suppress a chuckle. "Now what is this brute chuckling about? Is it your own stupidity?" He rolls his eyes and raises his fan higher, covering his cheeks and his nose. Liu Qingge does not offer any scathing comment like he would have before, instead, he hums as he eyes the other more.
"You do like the present, don't you?" He inquires, but the manner implies a statement rather than a question. Shen Qingqiu turns to the side, half showing, half hiding. Liu Qingge sees fair white skin blushing beautifully.
"This? Distasteful. I can feel wisps of your spiritual energy lingering in its very structure. It is not a pleasant sensation." He states bluntly. Liu Qingge crosses his arms, lips curling the slightest bit upwards. "I fought the beast for your fan to get the silk. I carved and painted the fan myself. I learned to make it for you. I've imbued my spiritual energy to make it lighter, you can do the same if you wish." He explains, albeit Shen Qingqiu never asked. Liu Qingge wouldn't have boasted, but the pride swelling in his chest when Shen Qingqiu's face turns fond and downright pleased made him glad he had.
"I still don't love your misplaced present. This shixiong will not thank his shidi for this after he caused him to break his old fan." Shen Qingqiu folds the fan in both hands, holding it with a gentleness that is often sighted when he caresses delicate glass. He clutches it close to his chest, tilting his head so Liu Qingge can see his face and the shine of mirth dancing in green eyes like falling leaves. Liu Qingge snorts and smiles, giving the other a meaningful stare. "I'll give a better present." He says and Shen Qingqiu scoffs, "I can only dread it."
Then he leans unexpectedly to kiss Liu Qingge's cheek, lips shyly resting upon the flushed skin, so gentle and warm, like how one would kiss a flower so adored. Liu Qingge loses his breath and his heart is threatened to stop beating while its pace is fastening. He stammers, voice reaching an octave he'd been unaware he'd be capable of reaching.
"S-Shen Qingqiu-!"
Before he knows it, he's pushed outside and the door to the Bamboo Dwelling is shut in front of his face. That's how the Qing Jing Disciples found him—standing dumbly in front of their Shizun's door with a palm upon his cheek.
They have decided that their Shizun must have slapped him.
As for the Bai Zhan War God, while in his flustered state, finally found the key to wield his words that would also guide him to understand the other.
Actions.
After all, hadn't how Shen Qingqiu acted did Liu Qingge understood his words? Eyes closing, turning away, fan folding and unfolding, and even kissing- Liu Qingge has to stop himself for a bit.
He can still feel the soft lips against his cheek, the breath Shen Qingqiu exhaled, and his long lashes caressing his face. His kiss contradicted his words and it feels like the Heavens are working in Liu Qingge's favour, helping him pursue the man he desires.
Shen Qingqiu is a complicated person, truly difficult, but Liu Qingge adored challenges and Shen Qingqiu is worth all the effort.