Chapter Text
“I don’t know what I did wrong,” Sara said, sounding as defeated and drained as she looked. “I tried my best yet I still only managed to be in the friend zone. He said it’s not that I’m not good enough, but that he had liked her for a while and she finally said ‘yes’ to going out with him so…”
“What does this girl look like?” Edward asked, displeased with the situation.
“Hang on.”
Edward had to admit he wasn’t shocked by this news. From the start, he knew Erron Black was that type of guy, one of those dim-witted pretty boys who had no sense or reason. However, Edward didn’t say anything to Sara as she was an adult and could make decisions on her own – even if they were the wrong ones. Besides, she was so smitten by Erron that Edward suspected she wouldn’t have listened to or believed his warnings anyway.
She searched on her phone and found the (infamous) girl’s Instagram profile and then handed it to Edward. Looking through Cassie Cage’s photos, frowning, shaking his head, he found himself unimpressed. This was the woman that got Erron’s attention? Honestly? She was a spoiled, bratty, self-centered blonde with the IQ of a donut!
Clearly.
Although seeing as how Erron’s IQ was clearly no higher than that of Cassie Cage, Edward figured birds of a feather flocked together…one dodo for another.
“Ugh, I’ve seen enough,” Edward said, handing Sara back her phone. “She’s a social media brat who has fluff for brains and probably uses her looks to get what she wants. There’s no way she’s actually an intelligent, fascinating person. Anyone who takes that many ridiculous selfies is, without a doubt, an idiot.”
Edward noticed Sara didn’t appear to be relieved by his words, so he quickly thought of something else to add, hoping it would provide some sort of window to clarity that she desperately needed for this situation.
“So, this Cassie fits society’s shallow and pointless standards of beauty,” Edward said. “She’s an absolute bore, I tell you! She’s got a pretty face and an attitude, probably only is successful because she’s relied on her parents for everything.”
Sara still looked upset, and maybe even more so.
Ok, Edward, think! thought the criminal genius, chewing on his lower lip as his anxiousness grew. There’s got to be a way to get this through to her. This is a waste of her time!
“I mean… I wouldn’t want to spend time with her,” Edward said, placing a hand on his chest. “I’d probably lose my mind after listening to whatever pointless drivel would inevitably spill forth from her mouth. As for her looks, well, let’s be realistic here: they won’t last, and then what? She’ll be stranded with her own deflated ego and nowhere to go.”
Edward could tell that Sara was nearly crying now much to his dismay, and she kept her head down to hide the tears gathering under her lashes. This was absurd, he thought. Why did she feel so hurt by a guy who was a complete moron and a girl who looked like every other blonde girl out there? It was a waste of time, energy, thought, and emotion to dwell on such people. Why couldn’t she see that?
“I understand what you said,” Sara said, sniffling. “I agree with a lot of it but…it still hurts, maybe more so now that I realize how much of a bimbo Cassie is. And Erron chose her? I’m not blonde…is that what he wants?” She gripped her phone tightly. “Do I need to start acting like an obnoxious brat, taking selfies and posting them online for attention?” The grip was now threatening to crack the protective outer case of the phone. “I did all I could to be a good friend to him, was there for him, listened to him, treated him well….and yet, I’m still not good enough to earn his…his love? He waited a long time for Cassie…well, I’ve waited even longer to stop being rejected because I’m not good enough!”
Not wanting her to injure herself, Edward reached out and placed a hand over Sara’s, watching her fingers loosen around her phone.
“I don’t feel good enough,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. “I’ve never been good enough. I don’t know why…I don’t know…I try and I try but it’s never enough…”
Edward watched Sara sob quietly to herself, unsure of what to do but his internal panic was growing worse. This wasn’t exactly his area of expertise, and he still thought she was wasting energy on two idiots. However, there was nothing he could do about that, not right now, not when she was still overwhelmed by emotion.
So, he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling a little awkward by making such a sentimental gesture, but it was all he could think of at the time.
“It’s going to be alright,” Edward told Sara. “I promise.”
A month later….
Edward was typing away at his computer as Sara sat at a table nearby working on one of her custom dolls. With her headphones on, she drowned out the world around her, entirely focused on painting the face of the doll. Because of this, she didn’t notice him get up from his chair to “greet” the ignorant Neanderthal standing outside under the security camera mounted on top of the main door.
Edward opened the door to see a worried Erron Black standing outside.
“What do you want?” Edward asked in an exasperated tone.
“Have you heard from Sara ?” Erron asked. “She hasn’t responded to my texts or calls, and it’s really botherin’ me. I wanna know if she’s a’right.”
Edward crossed his arms, sighing in annoyance.
“Yes, I have seen her and spoken to her,” Edward said. “And it’s her right to ignore you if she chooses to.”
“I…I know that but…” Erron rubbed the back of his neck. “I…I want to speak to her…there’s somethin’ I got to say. I…I just…I need to see her and talk to her, face to face.”
“Haven’t you done enough?” Edward demanded. “No, you can’t speak to her. You’ve done enough damage to her psychological state with your puny, insignificant brain!”
Erron looked taken aback but said nothing as guilt consumed him further. As much as he hated Edward’s callous words, the cowboy wasn’t in the mood to pick a fight.
“Now, run along, Little Cowboy,” Edward said, placing his hand on the edge of the door. “Go back to your vapid Selfie Queen where you belong.”
With that, Edward slammed the door in Erron’s face, smirking triumphantly. Why that idiot thought he could just walk on back with his tail between his legs and beg for forgiveness, Edward had no idea. Then again the other man was too selfish to realize the error of his ways, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise he tried that.
As Edward made his way back to his computer, he suddenly got an idea; a beautiful, incredible, ingenious, evil idea. Taking his phone out of his pants pocket, he searched for and dialed the number he had in mind for this situation.
“Hello, Crane,” Edward said, smiling wickedly to himself.
“Ah, Edward,” said Jonathan, who was fully expecting to be hit with Edward’s ego. “I am surprised to hear from you. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“I’ve got something, or rather someone for you.”
“Oh?”
“You said you were working on a new variation of that fear toxin of yours, am I correct?”
“Yes, and it’s nearly ready. Perhaps just another day more and it will be finished.”
“Great! Then I have a candidate you can test it on.”
“Oh, yes, do tell. I am always looking for ‘volunteers,’ as you know.”
Edward gave Erron’s name and description to Jonathan, his smile turning into a malicious grin as he did so. As much as Edward wanted to teach the dumb cowboy a lesson himself, he also thought it wasn’t worth the effort and Scarecrow loved having ‘volunteers’ for his silly little gas…
“I will have my men apprehend him right away,” said Jonathan.
“Just don’t leave any permanent damage,” Edward said. “Otherwise…have at it.”
“I would never do such a terrible thing,” Jonathan said, chuckling darkly. “I take good care of all of my ‘volunteers.’”
“Don’t say I never did anything for you.”
“Before I go, may I ask why you are recommending this man to me? Is he one of your henchmen? Did he steal from you? Fail to complete a job?”
Now, this caught Edward off guard. How was he going to explain this? He couldn’t even fully explain his feelings about this – about her – to himself. Yet, he didn’t want to deny Jonathan an answer, either. It was a perfectly valid, logical, albeit nosey question.
“This man, he…” Edward began, his words catching in his throat for a moment. “He, um…he…damaged something…something very valuable to me. And…and as much as I want to discipline him myself, he is too far beneath me for me to waste any of my precious time dealing with him further.”
“Ah, I see,” said Jonathan. “I must be going now, but thank you, Edward. You are too generous.”
With that, Edward hung up and made his way over to Sara, lightly tapping her shoulder. Turning around, she smiled up at him and removed her headphones.
“Hi, Eddie,” she said. “Did you need something?”
“No, no,” he said with a charming smile. “I just wanted to get a closer look at what you’re working on. It looks impressive so far.”
“Really?” she looked delighted, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. “It’s not done yet but…thank you! You have given me a little confidence boost.”
“And you deserve it,” Edward said, patting her shoulder. “I look forward to the final result.”
Back at his desk, Edward continued working on code for upgrades to the Riddlerbots, humming to himself contentedly. Maybe what he did was a bit much, but the cowboy needed to be put in his place. Men like Erron – people like Erron – always did. Besides, Sara would forget about the fool in time. Edward was certain of this because that was the nature of things: you forget about what no longer has any meaning or purpose in your life, and seeing as how she wasn’t at all interested in conversing with Erron anymore…well, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the conclusion.
“Just dance,” she sang softly to herself. “Gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm…”
Edward nodded to himself upon hearing her, smiling.
Yes, it’s going to be ok, My Dear, he thought. It’s all going to be ok…