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“Where the hell have you been?” Tony demanded. “You’ve been MIA for three hours!”
“Gosh. How has life been without me for three hours, I wonder?”
“Torture.”
“Oh dear. How dire.”
“You think this is funny? Radio silence, Loki! Nothing!” Tony glowered. “And Strange, the bastard was no help at all – ”
“Oh, Heavens above - you went to that second-rate charlatan?”
“Of course I went to him! My satellites couldn’t find you anywhere, it’s like you’ve disappeared off the face of the earth!” Tony ranted. “And that’s not a very nice thing to say about your friend.”
“He’s not my friend,” Loki sneered.
“Only the guy who saved your life, then.”
Loki rolled his eyes, and countered with a challenging, “And?”
“He couldn’t find you either.”
Loki gave a satisfied nod. “Good.”
“Well?”
“Well, what?” Loki inquired politely.
"Where were you?"
"Hereabout,” was Loki’s vague answer.
Tony took a deep breath to keep his temper in check. “Do you know how worried I’ve been?”
“Very, I’m sure.” Loki hummed calmly as he opened the fridge and started rummaging through it for something.
“You scared me, Loki. I thought you'd…" Left , Tony almost said but caught himself in time. “ - been taken.”
Loki had to laugh. “Taken? Really, Tony.”
“Off-world then,” Tony growled. “You don’t exactly need a passport to go anywhere.”
“I did not go off-world, Stark. I was underwater.”
“Underwat – I’m sorry, WHAT?”
“I had a craving for scallops.”
“Scallops,” Tony echoed. “I could have gotten you scallops.”
“Scottish scallops.”
“I could have gotten you Scottish scallops. I could have gotten you scallops from wherever you want. Anywhere in the world.”
“I appreciate the gesture, Tony, I really do. But I was already there, and I thought, why not? The water’s perfect for diving this time of year.”
“There where? Scotland?”
On the verge of a meltdown, Tony did not realise he was saying things he really should not be saying.
“Did I hear you correctly? Did you say diving? In your condition?”
Loki put a hand on his regal hip. "I believe that is what I said, or is underwater a slang word for something else here on Midgard?”
"And I will say this one last time, Stark - I do not have a condition,” Loki said indignantly. “I once tracked and killed a steppe bison with my bare hands while pregnant. I didn’t moan about having to hunt for my own food.”
There was something about cuddling after sex that made one want to confess everything, and Loki had, once or twice, accidentally mentioned how after meeting Tony, life had become so much better.
The only thing was, Tony did not realise it had been that bad. He watched Loki bite into a truckle of cheese ravenously like it was an apple.
Poor, poor Loki.
“You...had to hunt for your own food?” Tony asked quietly, feeling his eyes dampen at the imagery.
"Oh, it's one of those days where you have to keep repeating everything I say," Loki let out a noise between a moan and a sigh. He straightened up just enough so he could peer at Tony out the corner of his eye without having to turn his head. “Do catch up, Stark.”
Tony marched and closed the distance between them in a split-second.
With a surprised gasp, Loki barely had time to lift his arms into the air before finding himself suddenly pulled into a tight embrace from behind.
“You will never be found wanting,” he heard Tony whisper fiercely in his ear.
Tony's grip tightened. “Not for as long as I’m alive. And I dare say, even after I’m gone.”
“Oh, Tony…”
Loki twisted around at the waist gracefully despite an armful of bounty from the fridge. His eyes much softer now, he kissed Tony on the lips just as softly.
“Guess I should have told you. I...apologise.”
Tony burst into a wet chuckle. He accepted Loki’s apology by helping relieve him of some of the mise en place: blocks of butter, brown rice miso paste, baby spinach, lemon -
“What are you making tonight, Bambi?”
Loki’s fingers danced in the air; the theatrics of opening his pocket universe always excited Tony, and in the blink of an eye, a metal bucket full of the freshest, biggest wild scallops Tony had ever seen appeared out of thin air.
“You can’t find better scallops anywhere.”
Tony could tell Loki was already salivating just by the sound of his voice, and in less than ten minutes, Loki had them shucked and cleaned, all two dozens of them.
“You’ve got mad skills,” Tony said in awe.
Loki only smiled. “I’ve had centuries of practice.”
He set to work beating the butter with the red miso very enthusiastically. “But...this is a new recipe. Let’s see if it’s as good as the television cook says. Be a dear, Tony, and turn on the broiler for me. Medium heat, thank you.”
“That’s a lot of butter,” Tony commented dubiously, watching Loki drop a mountainous dollop of butter-miso mixture onto each scallop.
Loki shrugged. “It’s what our baby wants.”
Tony could not very well argue with that. Not to mention it always turned him on whenever Loki talked about the baby (their baby) like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“I love you," he blurted.
“You’ll love me more once you’ve tried these.” Loki licked his lips and carefully placed the tray into the oven.
Very soon, the most delicious smell began to fill the kitchen. Tony found himself peering through the oven door every few seconds, wondering when the scallops were going to be done.
“You can take them out now,” Loki teased.
“Finally!”
Tony drummed his fingers impatiently while Loki placed the scallops on a bed of wilted spinach carefully so as not to spill all that delicious juice of the sea and the butter and the savoury miso from the shells.
Loki followed it up with one last finishing touch: a drizzle of lemon juice, and once he was done, he stepped back from the kitchen island to admire his work.
Tony snaked his arms around his lover from behind and cradled the sides of Loki’s baby bump. It was still tiny against Loki's tall, slender frame, but quite obvious to the touch if one knew where to look, and no one knew better than Tony.
“Looks good, baby.”
“Looks very good.” Loki scooped a juicy, piping hot scallop with a fork. “Here, try it.”
“Oh my god, that is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”
Loki cleared his throat loudly and gave him a chastising look.
“The second best thing,” Tony amended ruefully. "Sorry, sorry."
Boy, he was not going to let Loki sleep tonight. It was Loki’s own fault for teasing him this badly.
“I get why you felt like you had to go all the way to Scotland. These scallops are amazing,” Tony said on a mouthful of his sixth or seventh; he had long lost count. “I'd even eat them raw.”
“Raw?” Loki gave him a death glare. “Do you wish to kill me and our unborn baby?”
“You’re worried about listeria but you’re not worried about deep-sea diving in the middle of winter.”
“Hey, I choose my poison.”
“You mean that in the literal sense, don’t you.”
“Always.” Loki gave him a cheeky grin. Then, with a bad taste in his mouth, he added, “Do try and leave some for your friend Stephen Strange. I did promise him I would, in exchange for his granting me passage to travel halfway across the world and staying out of my hair.”
Tony’s mouth fell. “You did? When?”
Loki heaved an exasperated sigh. “It’s Hogmanay, Tony. Tradition demands my divine presence for first-footing."
"Hogma-what?"
"I am still a God worshipped by many, you know. Even if I’m currently a gay man living in New York City with my Avenger boyfriend and carrying his child.”
“Huh?"
“JARVIS,” Loki called impatiently.
“Yes, Mr. Odinson?”
“I’m still busy feeding myself and my unborn baby here, so could you kindly fill your employer in? About Hogmanay and the Vikings and stuff?”
“You mean, everything, Sir?” JARVIS mocked.
“Funny, very funny.” Tony sniffed. “Yes, everything, of course!”
“The New Year, or Hogmanay, as the celebration is called in Scotland, goes all the way back to the 8th-century. It is believed that many of the traditional Hogmanay celebrations were originally brought to the Gaelic-speaking parts of the British Isles by Norse invaders.”
“First-footing, or 'the “first foot” in the house after midnight', is a common tradition still practiced across Scotland. To ensure good luck for the year, the first foot into the house must be that of a dark-haired male, and he should bring with him items of symbolic importance, such as lumps of coal, or if one is feeling fancy, a dram of whiskey."
Loki nodded importantly.
“Huh.” Tony blinked. “Why the dark hair?”
Loki’s mischievous grin widened.
“The dark colour preference is attributed to a longstanding belief that when a big blonde Viking arrives on your threshold brandishing a big axe, it could only be a sign of misfortune,” JARVIS said cheerily.
Loki cackled. "Thor never liked coming with me."
“So...Stephen was just pulling my leg when he said he didn’t know where you were?”
Loki cackled harder. “You do look very adorable when you’re tearing your hair out.”
“Nice one, Odinson.” Tony glared and grabbed the last few scallops off the tray. “Just for that, I’m eating them all.”
In an uncharacteristic turn of heart, Loki sombred.
He leaned his head on Tony’s shoulder, whose fingers stilled in the midst of clawing the juicy flesh out of its shell.
“Please do not be angry with me, Tony,” Loki said quietly. “It’s the one day that I can pretend I am the bringer of good fortune.”
“You idiot.” Revenge by seafood forgotten, Tony dropped the scallop and grabbed Loki’s hand with fingers sticky with sauce. “I can never be angry with you."
He pressed his lips to the top of Loki’s head, and breathed in the scent of the ocean deeply. “You’re my Lady Luck Incarnate, remember?”
“I am?” Loki lifted his head slowly. “Still?”
Tony smiled gently. “Always.”
Loki beamed. “Happy New Year, Tony.”
A kiss on the lips. “Happy New Year, Bambi.”
This year was going to be the best, Tony thought as he bent down to kiss the most beautiful tummy in the world, where the most beloved baby was currently sleeping, sated and happy.
He felt something wet drop onto the back of his head, and then another.
Overwhelmed, Tony held Loki as he sobbed quietly, and continued to hold him long after he had stopped.
"I love you, Loki."
Long dark hair fell around his eyes and cheeks as Loki bent double and pressed his forehead against the side of Tony's face -
Loki mouthed the words into his neck, and Tony felt all kinds of blessed, for they could not be any louder.
"I love you too."