Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sarah Shepard watched as the skyscrapers of Rousseau grew in the skycar window or at least what passed for skyscrapers in the largest city on Mindoir. They were tiny compared to the ones she had seen when she visited Omaha back on Earth where some of her extended family still resided. She would never forget her first visit to the Chicago SpacePort and the views of that huge city. And now she would likely never forget this as well. Diminutive or not, the sight of the miniature skyscrapers still gave her a little thrill of anticipation. It wasn’t the largest city in the galaxy but it still held possibilities and the promise of the city. 

Especially since this was her first visit to the city, alone, without her parents and brother. As the winner of her county’s science fair, she was selected to represent her district in the colony-wide Fair in the capital city. There would be school officials and chaperones at the events, of course, but this was her first time travelling alone and staying alone in her very own hotel room. 

Her dad had been so excited when he learned that she had not only entered her school’s science fair but won it, even as he was a little disappointed that she didn’t choose a study of seeds or crop yields or anything else farming-related as her subject. She guessed correctly that most of the projects and presentations would be related to farming and to stand out she would have to choose something else. 

So she chose something she was more interested in anyway: Early Star Formation in the Milky Way. She had always been interested in space, and science in general, and if she were honest with herself, had to admit that farming bored her. But she did not want to hurt or disappoint her father. Her real passion was art but she didn’t even dare to raise the possibility of pursuing that as a career to her father. He was a practical man and she knew he would likely be very happy if she just decided to continue farming on Mindoir. Art as a serious pursuit would seem an oxy-moron to him. Her mother, a PhD, was not so subtle in making it clear that she didn’t care what her children decided to do so long as they got an education first. But both her parents had agreed that she had done a fantastic job on her presentation and could be trusted to go alone to the Big City. 

As her skycar landed at the large hotel that was both the place where she was staying and the location of the Fair, her excitement, mixed with a little nervousness, grew. She stepped out of the skycar, smoothed her dress and grabbed her bag before taking a deep breath and walking towards the entrance of the bustling Fair Weather Hotel and Convention Center. 

She didn’t need to stop at the front desk as she already had her room assignment and the key was on her omni-tool so she decided to go take a peek at the convention space instead of visiting her room first. The materials for her presentation were shipped ahead and she was anxious to make sure everything got there in one piece. She also wanted to see the kind of space that she was allotted to work with. 

She checked her omni-tool before she entered the large convention space that was divided into different sections in a grid pattern. She was assigned D-24. She stopped briefly at the large holographic map to get her bearings before setting off to her destination. 

She was almost to the space that should be hers when a person was literally thrown into her path. The small boy, on his backside, skidded to a stop almost at her feet. She looked down in surprise before looking up again to see two larger boys approaching. 

Both wore wide grins on their faces as they spotted her. One began laughing at seeing the shock on her face while the other spoke. 

“Sorry about that. We didn’t know anyone was coming when we threw our trash away. Now, why don’t you apologize, Trash, for almost hitting the pretty girl.” 

“You better jjjjjust leave me a...a...a..”, the shaking boy stammered, unable to get his sentence out. 

“Aaaaaaaaaaa! Duhhhhhhhh! You’re such a dumb little piece of trash you can’t even speak.” One of the boys mocked. “Now, get up and get back over here so that we can properly throw you away.” 

Shepard looked down at the shaking boy still at her feet. His face was red and there were tears rolling down his cheeks. She had no idea what was going on here and what, if anything, this boy had done to deserve the attention of the other two but it was obvious that he was no match for them and could not physically defend himself.  

“Hey, come on, guys. We’re at a school function here and there are cameras all over.” Sarah smiled as she tried to reason with them. “Do you really want to get into trouble over this little thing?” 

The two looked at each other and then laughed. 

“Yes.” One of the boys responded. “Yes, we do.” 

“Just walk away now.” The other boy ordered Sarah, his smile dropped. “You wouldn’t want to get hurt instead of him, would you?” 

Shepard stepped in front of the boy. There were two of them and she was afraid but she grew up rough-housing with a brother. She grew up on a farm where physical work was a daily reality even with all the modern machinery her father was so fond of. She had a feminine body that belied her rock-hard muscles and an out-sized strength. It also wouldn’t be the first fight she had ever been in if it came to that. 

“Come on. Look at him. He’s already a quivering mess on the floor. Leave him alone and let me buy you both a Tupari.” 

“You can buy us a Tupari after we take care of him.” One of the boys said as he moved closer. The other boy was moving away from him, obviously trying to flank their new adversary. “Maybe we can even drink something harder and all of us can have some fun together.” 

“I got a better idea.” Sarah responded, as she felt herself growing angry. “Both of you can get out of here and leave us the fuck alone.” 

“Wow! The mouth on you. Now you’re just trying to turn me on. I’ll tell you what. You give us both a little kiss, and we will leave the trash alone.” 

Her parents would be angry at her for using such language but they had also always made it clear that she should never suffer a bully or allow anyone else around her to be victimized by one. 

“Fuck you!” 

The now enraged boy lunged out to try to grab her arm but she was ready for him. She dodged to her right slightly and then swung her bag as hard as she could towards his head. The bag held mostly clothes but luckily, her mother was a stickler for old-fashioned clothing irons instead of their holographic versions, so the bag had some heft to it. It hit him squarely and sent him stumbling forward. Sarah moved quickly to face the other boy now behind her but as he lunged at her, the boy on the floor was trying to scramble out of the way. As Sarah dodged and moved backwards, her heel hit the leg of the boy and she felt her body falling backwards. She heard a loud crack and felt a flash of pain on the back of her head before everything went black.    

___________________________________

The next thing she was aware of was staring down at her trembling hand, covered in red and bits of white. For a few moments, she could not comprehend what she was seeing, her hand jumping uncontrollably at the end of an arm that was equally covered in blood. But why was her arm covered in blood? And then flashes of violence. A knife thrust into her stomach. Searing pain like she had never before felt. The smell of a batarian's breath as he bared his grotesque teeth at her, pushing his body even closer to her naked one. That same knife at her kneeling, beaten, bowed but unbroken father's throat as he uttered his last defiant words. Fuck you! Slicing. And then her withdrawing her fist from the same batarian's skull. 

Another fade to black. She was gasping. The black became even deeper if that were possible. She tried to open her eyes thinking that she just forgot that they were closed but that didn't seem to help. She became aware of the sensation of floating before her brain forgot all other sensations except the pressure on her chest.  She tried to gasp but there was no air to be drawn in by the movement. The pain in her chest increased with each moment, the blackness deepening. One last thought while her starving, dying brain was still capable of it. Liara...

Liara bolted awake, gasping for air, and was relieved when her lungs filled with it. As she finally understood that she was not suffocating, was not floating in space and was not, in fact, Sarah Shepard, her breathing returned to something close to normal but then the tears began. The pain was once again unbearable like it had been right after Shepard’s death. 

She wasn't sure if what she experienced in the beginning of her dream was an actual memory of Shepard’s, some knowledge obtained unconsciously from their bond, the residual pieces that naturally remained even after a bondmate was long since set out to sea or a fiction that Liara created for her. She was sure that the more unpleasant ones were Sarah's actual memories because she had experienced them before. 

Another setback. She could not tolerate this in herself. She could not fall apart every time she thought about her bondmate or dreamed about her. She could not continue to damage herself and her abilities by not sleeping to keep the dreams from happening.       

 Her mind scrambled for anything to think about to bring her some comfort, to dull the sharp agony within her, a tool she could use to continue on, to put one foot in front of the other. She needed to get past this. She could not count on her Sarah ever coming back and she would likely become mad long before the reapers came if she could not see a path through this. She could not talk to Iadri about how to deal with this, or Alaya, and certainly not Denai. And that is when she realized that she already had the tools. 

She had her work. She just needed to focus like she always had. She needed to concentrate on what was important just like her bondmate always had. And what was important was preparing for the reapers as much as possible. And protecting her friends and family and allies. Allies like Feron. That she left behind. 

Would Shepard have ever left a comrade behind like that? He was likely dead already but Liara had no way of knowing. For his sake, she hoped that he was. She did know that the entity that took him was almost as fearsome as the reapers and only slightly less mysterious. The Shadow Broker was known to just about everyone in the galaxy while remaining unknowable and out of reach. They had agents everywhere and their grasp reached into the most powerful organizations in the galaxy. If she made finding Feron, or at least what happened to him, her focus along with the reapers, she could easily wind up dead before the reapers even came. The Shadow Broker was one the the biggest bullies in a galaxy full of bullies that preyed on the weak. 

Anger replaced her hurt and despair. Fuck you!