Chapter Text
𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐴𝑠𝘩
𝐴𝑠𝘩 —
𝐼’𝑚 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡𝘩 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝘩𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛’𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙.
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑𝑠. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑒?
𝑊𝑒 𝘩𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠. 𝑊𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠.
𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠. 𝐼𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑠?
𝐼’𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑙𝑎𝑑 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎. 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒.
𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢.
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒.
𝑊𝘩𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝘩𝑢𝑟𝑡 𝑚𝑢𝑐𝘩 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝘩𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑦. 𝐹𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑦, 𝘩𝑢𝘩?
𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑏𝑖𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐼 𝘩𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢.
𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑓𝑎𝑡𝑒.
𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑓𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑢𝑟𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑢𝑟𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟.
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘.
𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛’𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑑, 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑦. 𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐼’𝑚 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒.
𝑀𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑦𝑜𝑢.
— 𝐸𝑖𝑗𝑖 𝑂𝑘𝑢𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑎
Chapter 1
It’s getting dark in New York. The coldness is felt by the citizens as little by little snowflakes start falling on the ground.
Somewhere in a library, a young man lays on the table, his hands holding tight two pieces of paper, stained with blood. He feels he’s losing power and consciousness, but he fights his thoughts and says he should not fall asleep. His chest feels warm, like drinking a good coffee in the morning.
He knows it’s too late now to go to the airport, the plane took off already. They probably think he chose not to come to say goodbye. HE is probably thinking the other didn’t receive his letter on time, or maybe he hesitated and he won’t come with him, living a better life and forgetting the cruel past. His sweater is wet. He thinks it’s because of sweat, but he knows blood didn’t stop dripping. Pain. He feels pain. A tear rolls down his cheek on the dirty papers. He’s read his friend’s letter more than 7 times. He’s memorized every single word from it like the lyrics of a love song.
He’s tired. There are fewer people in the library, it’s getting late. Soon someone will come and ask him to leave the library. He thinks he’s too weak to stand up. Maybe he should accept his destiny and lose in front of death. It doesn’t sound bad. He committed so many sins and killed so many people. His hands are filled with blood. He has so many enemies, they won’t stop coming after him, he’s too weak to protect the boy he adores wholeheartedly. Maybe it’s better for him to disappear. Like the leopard from the Kilimanjaro Mountains. It vanished after arriving at the peak of the mountain. He shouldn’t stand in the way of fate. He can find peace finally. There won’t be suffering anymore. No more fighting, guns, betraying, killing. Maybe he can close his eyes and sleep. For one minute only…
“Eiji”. He whispers quietly. He doesn’t want to acknowledge this name coming from his lips sounds so beautiful and mesmerizing. “Eiji”, he says one more time.
How much he tries to find 100 reasons to die, there is only one name enough to make him want to fight for his life.
He thinks. If he dies, he will never be able to be together with Eiji.
He can’t see him for the rest of his life. That would be too cruel. But if he lives.. If he fights for his life he will go after Eiji, will find him and finally confess. He doesn’t care if Eiji won’t accept him, he just wants to tell the boy what he’s feeling.
Ash opens his eyes. The library is almost empty and silence is filling the room. He didn’t even notice how quiet it was. In his head so many fights were going on that it was too noisy. Ash tried to lift his head. He was too weak, but now he was determined to save his life and go after Eiji. It was the only reason for him to be alive, to confess his heart and soul to the boy he can’t live without, he can’t give up to death. “At least not now” Ash whispered with the little power he was left with. After more tries Ash got up, holding by the chair. He looked around. No one was near him. “Good”, he doesn’t need someone to see him in that state. He takes the pieces of paper and folds them, after puts them carefully in his pocket.
Ash was walking slowly, holding the shelves full of books, so he could make his way outside. As he made out of the library, he leaned over the balustrade and looked at the streetlights, the only things that illuminated the street. The road was covered with thin snow. He looked to his right, where he shot Lao. But there wasn’t anyone laying there. Ash was sure he killed him. The person who stabbed him recklessly and took his chance to go after his dream. He regretted so much not taking Sing’s advice and going straight after Eiji the moment he told him he was at the airport. It was too late now, but he will go after Eiji no matter what.
Slowly, Ash started to move. He needed to think where he will go. He can’t go to the hospital. The police is still after him. He should go to his gang, they will help him.
One hand on his wound and the other in his pocket, holding the letter, Ash was making his way. He felt so weak and painful, that every snow that was falling on his shoulders felt heavy. His chest was hurting so much.
At a second he thought he couldn’t go anymore, it was too much pain. He fell on his knees and looked up at the dark sky. A tear fell down his cheek.
If he couldn’t go on, he will die. He can’t die yet. Not now. Ash got up and continued to walk with small steps. There weren’t many people on the street, but Ash wished there would be at least one person he knew.
His feet felt so weak carrying a heavy body, every step was hard to make, as the wound was getting deeper. He couldn’t see where he was going, but at a second he found himself in front of a flat. He dialed the number of the apartment, his inner self was telling him that he isn’t where he planed. But he won’t go back now. It is what it is.
-Yes? Who’s there? Ash heard the voice of his older friend. Now he remembered where he is and replied:
-Would you be this tolerant and help this poor soul, Old Man? Said Ash with an almost silent, yet provocative voice.
-ASH! The voice of Max came fast and the door opened.
Ash took two more steps when he was ready to approach the door he collapsed. He heard a loud scream, his vision was blurry.
-What happened for goodness sake? asked loudly Max.
He carried Ash inside and laid him on the sofa. Ash was barely conscious, he felt like he was falling into a void, the blackness was surrounding him.
-Jessica! Call the ambulance now, the man screamed.
-Boy, what happened to you? Oh gosh, who did you pick up a fight with? Why are you so hurt? Who did that to you?
Max flooded Ash with tons of questions. He was worried but also curious. At the same time, Jessica brought a towel which was put on his chest to stop the bleeding.
-For how long did you bleed? You lost so much blood, silly!
-Let’s just say I took care… of one more enemy today… Ash coughed gravely. You don’t…don’t have to worry about him, but…but about me. I am the one that is going to…to hell. Just save me…save me, man, Ash whispered tired.
-Don’t worry, the doctors are on their way. Just don’t fall asleep, okay? Stay with me, please.
-I don’t want them to take me…take me to a hospital, they will arrest me.. Ash was at the edge of his powers he couldn’t talk anymore. He coughed again, blood coming out this time.
-You don’t worry about that, don’t talk, okay? Oh goodness! Who did that to you? How couldn’t you avoid such an obvious attack?
-I…I wanted to go…go after him. But…but that boy just came from nowhere, I…I wanted to go after Eiji…Eiji… Ash closed his eyes saying the name of the loved.
-Oh boy! You silly boy. Why did you let your guard down now? Why? Max was overwhelmed. He didn’t know what to say to keep Ash awake.
-Just hold on a little bit more, okay? He said. Who-who did that to you? Who stabbed you?
-Lao…Lao… A guy I didn’t even consider…consider worthy fighting…
-That prick! We should’ve taken him down the moment we had the chance, none of this would’ve happened. Max was angry, but at the same time he wanted to keep the talk.
-I don’t know if I will survive…but…but… Tears started forming on the edge of Ash’s eyes. But I want to see Eiji one more time, Ash started sobbing, I want to tell him I… I… Ash didn’t finish his sentence passing out.
With teary eyes Max screamed:
-ASH! ASH! Wake up Ash! You can’t fall asleep. Not Now. Please. Max begged, but without any response. Ash’s breathing was so slow, he was barely hanging in there.
After some seconds, the door opened and the ambulance entered. They took Ash and Max joined in the car, telling the nurses to be careful.
-Please, don’t die. Please. Max prayed.
As soon as the car arrived at the hospital, they took him to the operating room. Max called Charlie and Jenkins. He wanted the others from Ash’s band and his friends to come. He texted Cain, Alex, Sing and waited for their responses. In a short while, Charlie and Jenkins came hurried.
-What happened that you call us in the middle of the night? asked Jenkins a bit irritated.
-It’s Ash. He was severely stabbed and he’s in OR now. His state was so worse than the last time I’ve seen him in a hospital. He lost a lot of blood, Max explained everything to the men.
-But who did that to the lynx? The bad guys are all dead, aren’t they? asked Charlie confused, yet worried.
-What happened that you called all of us here? The three men turned their heads to the deep voice of Cain. He looked irritated but was clearly showing signs of concern.
-Yeah, the big guy is right, what is so important to call us here? Is someone dying? asked Sing smirking?
-I don’t give a damn about your stupid jokes but Ash Lynx is in the middle of an operation and can die any second because he was stabbed by your stepbrother, Lao. Screamed Max angrily.
-WHAT!!? Everyone in the waiting room screamed.
-How is he? How did that happen? Tell us. They were attacking Max with plenty of questions.
-I’m also confused, I don’t know all the details, but before he passed out, Ash said he was on his way to the airport and Lao stabbed him out of nowhere. He-he was going to come after all. That silly boy! Max whimpered.
-How is-is that fucking possible? How could Lao do that to him? Sing frowned, not processing what he was hearing. There was a terrible fight in his mind now, he didn’t know what to say. Ash was going to come to the airport, only if he stayed more with him, waited to go together, only if he was a better boss to his gang, and clarified Lao’s problem. Oh, what happened because of him? How can something so small like a stab kill the great Lynx? How can he die only because of that? Sing asked Max unable to control his tone.
-I am also unaware of all the circumstances of the fight I just wish he is fine. Charlie, officer Jenkins, we have to talk to the doctors to keep this operation in secret. No one from the authorities should find out that he is in a hospital, said Max.
-I will take care of this matter, no one will know about Ash apart from us.
-As soon as he’s out of the OR we have to prepare a place for him to recover, where no one would disturb him, Cain said serious.
-We first have to pray he will make it.
The silence filled the room. Everyone was in deep thoughts. The doctor exited the operating room and came to the small crowd.
-Who is the guardian of the patient? asked he.
-I-I am, stuttered Max. Is everything alright doctor? asked Max concerned.
The doctor sighed long. Long enough to make everyone anxious about the situation of their friend and boss.
-His condition is very bad. He’s lost too much blood and his heart rate is too slow to process the blood that we are giving him. His wound is pretty grave too, it didn’t affect the vital organs, but has caused a lot of damage to his body, considering his weight, it’s too risky to give him a bigger amount of blood he needs… The doctor sighed again. In other words, I am not sure if he can make it. The doctor said all of this looking down, as he felt being stabbed by everyone’s look.
-But you have to try everything you can, doctor. You must save him! said with a loud voice Sing. We can’t lose him, he’s our boss, he must live.
-YES! You must do whatever you can to save him, please, we beg of you. Alex begged. The others were also begging the doctor with different promises.
-I will do everything in my powers to save him, but I can’t promise anything. Please excuse me, the doctor returned to the surgery.
The waiting room was once again silent. They were praying inside their minds for Ash to live, to survive this hard battle against death, just this once.
Going to the actual operating room, the doctors were preparing to perform CPR on Ash as his pulse was barely shown by the heart rate monitor.
-How much? asked a nurse.
-160, said the doctor.
-Clear!
The two metal things pushed over the boy’s chest and electrocuted him, the body rising up and down. No response. The doctor wiped off his sweat and said louder:
-200!
-Clear!
The shock flooded Ash’s body one more time. Again no movement or breath.
Maybe it was his time to go.
Maybe this was the longest he could live.
Maybe this was his destiny.
BUT NOT NOW! It doesn’t matter if he will never be the same Ash.
He didn’t want to die now.
He didn’t want to leave Earth this moment.
He had a new goal, a new destiny.
A new LIFE.
The heart rate monitor started to peep. A green line raised up and then another one. His pulse came back. He came back. Ash didn’t die yet.
-He almost died, goodness. The doctor sighed longer than the last time.
-Don’t relax yet. Everyone, back to your places. Let’s continue the surgery, let’s save this boy! announced the doctor.
The nurses nodded and continued the process.
“I know you’re fighting for your life more than anyone here, you want to live so much”, the doctor thought looking at Ash.