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“You’re posing for a shirtless photo? That’s not going to go well.”
“Don’t worry about it, Ymir. They’re going to photoshop the quote out.”
“If you say so. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
He should have listened to her.
***
He was sitting at a bus stop when he met her. The bus should have arrived five minutes ago, not that he minded, totally absorbed in reading Good Omens. He flipped a page as a woman sat down beside him, bumping her shoulder into his. He glanced up with a scowl. She didn’t seem to feel bad about crashing into him, straightening her black pigtails. Her hands moved to her lap and twisted in the fabric of her pretty teal dress.
Large grey eyes focused on him, and she took a deep breath. “Excuse me.” She smiled sweetly. “That’s a great book.”
Jean gaped at her like a fish out of water. “Oh my God. Hi,” he finally breathed.
She giggled. “Hi, I’m Mina.”
“I’m Jean, but you probably already knew that.” A nod. “Are you busy right now?”
“Nope. I’m free all day.”
***
“Oh, that’s beautiful,” Mina said, admiring the opal necklace Jean bought her for their one-month anniversary. “Thank you.”
“You really like it?”
She gave him a quick kiss. “I love it. In fact, I’m going to wear it right now.” She reached up to fasten it, but Jean grabbed it.
“Here. Let me,” he said, sweeping her carefully curled hair to the side. He paused when he noticed the words written on the back of her neck. His fingers traced the letters. Your dress is gorgeous. “What’s this?”
Mina jerked away with a gasp, hand covering the tattoo. “It’s a quote from a book my friend wrote.” But her voice shook. She looked up at him, eyes wide and fearful.
“You’re lying. You’re… not really my soulmate, are you?”
She hung her head. “I’m sorry. I work for People, and I saw your picture. I hoped you were my soulmate. That’s why I wore my nicest dress when we met. And when you weren’t, well, I didn’t know what to do. You already thought I was your soulmate, so I decided that I would just play along. Even though we weren’t soulmates, we could still love each other.”
Jean sighed. He should be angry. She had lied to him for a month, let him believe that they were made for each other. But she was the first person he had ever loved, and even if she wasn’t his soulmate, that hadn’t been a lie. He couldn’t bring himself to hate her. “I understand. But I can’t be with someone who isn’t my soulmate.” He turned to leave.
“Wait!” Mina cried. She unfastened the necklace, holding it towards him with trembling hands. Her eyes were red and shiny as she stared at the floor. “This is yours.”
He gave her a gentle, sad smile. “You keep it.”
***
Countless girls and guys had pretended to be his soulmate since the issue was published.
His favorite encounter (actually, the only one that had been enjoyable) had been when two guys who seemed to have escaped from a carnival approached him at a bus stop. The tall man stuttered out his quote in a shaking falsetto while his burly friend just glared at Jean. The wigs, face paint, and contacts threw him off, and he didn’t realize that it was Bertholdt and Reiner until he noticed how profusely the taller man was sweating and spotted Annie hiding behind a tree.
Jean couldn't preform without girls throwing themselves at the stage and shrieking at him. He'd learned to avoid bookstores and libraries and holding anything that even remotely resembled a book. People still tried even if it didn't make sense. He would be sitting at a restaurant and someone would lean over and whisper, “That’s a great book” to him.
“It’s a fucking menu, and you didn’t even get it right,” Jean would snap back.
"Maybe it's it’s a good thing that they didn’t edit it out," Eren suggested one day when they were all gathered for Movie Night. "Like your soulmate only says 'Excuse me. That's a great book' because they saw the magazine, you know? Anyone who walks up to you in the grocery store could be your soulmate."
Jean flopped onto the couch. "Yeah, I know, and it sucks. I've started asking people to show me their tattoos. But that creates a problem where people just say 'Oh it's in an inappropriate spot. Come back to my place and I'll show you.'"
"You have women offering to strip for you and you're saying 'no?'" Connie asked, incredulous.
"Aren't you ace?" Reiner squinted at him.
"Well yeah, but still. Women are literally throwing themselves at his feet. You're not at all tempted?"
"I have been flashed by so many girls who don't understand that we are standing in a public place. I don't need any more of that. Besides, I don't want to be with someone who's not my soulmate."
"Aw." Annie smirked.
Jean threw his shoe at her. "Ok, enough about my colossal relationship issues. Let's start the movie before Sasha eats all the popcorn."
***
“What do you want?” The grouchy tone of voice confirmed that Eren had still been asleep. Not that Jean really cared.
“Buy me a book.”
“What? You woke me up so I could buy you a book?”
“Yes. A bookstore just opened at the corner of my street, and it is calling my name.”
“Well tell it to shut the fuck up, and put in ear plugs until a reasonable hour.”
“Eren,” Jean whined.
“Put on a wig or something and just go yourself. You’re probably the only person awake at three in the morning for whatever time it is right now anyway. Plus it’s Christmas. Who goes shopping on Christmas? Wait, what kind of store is open on Christmas? You’re going to get murdered.”
“It’s nine. And I don’t think they’re going to kill me.”
“Whatever. I’m going back to sleep.” Eren hung up, and Jean rolled his eyes. Just woken up Eren was always such a joy to talk to. Well I did bring it on myself.
Jean stared forlornly out at the bookshop. The bright red open sign was taunting him and – oh my God they’re having a sale.
Well, that made that decision. Jean darted to his closet, rummaging through his costumes. “Ah ha!” he crowed, pulling out the brown wig. Now to look at some fucking books.
***
The store was almost empty, which was good. The fewer people he saw, the better. Some fans could recognize him at a glance, even when he was in disguise, which was terrifying. The teen at the counter had given him a strange look (probably thought that he was an asshole because he was wearing sunglasses inside) before turning back to his laptop. Jean reached up to adjust the wig. The bloody thing was so itchy. If only he could go out in public without being harassed. Maybe some day.
“The hype will probably die down soon,” Ymir tried to comfort him the day after the magazine was published. He was grateful that she wasn’t rubbing it in his face that she had been right. “Just give it time.” But here he was, months later, and nothing had changed.
At least he was alone in the store and could shop in peace for now.
He was reading the summary for The Song of Achilles when a man tapped his shoulder. Jean glanced up. He had freckles covering his cheeks and gave Jean a wide smile. His nametag was pinned crookedly to his shirt, and his arms were full of books.
“Excuse me.” Jean stepped out of the way. Marco glanced at the book he was holding and nodded towards it. “That’s a great book.”
“Oh what the fuck?!”
Marco jumped, dropping the pile of books at their feet. “W-what?”
Jean paused at the breathy question. Marco stared at him with wide, shocked eyes, like… Oh shit this guy is actually my soulmate, isn’t he? And I just shouted at him.
“Show me.” Marco gave him a confused look, and Jean clarified, “Your quote.”
“Oh.” Marco lifted his shirt – and wow, look at those abs – focus, Jean! Right over the other man’s heart were the words Oh what the fuck.
“It’s really you,” Jean breathed.
“Who else would it be?”
Jean chuckled, pulling off his wig and glasses.
Marco’s eyes widened. “Wait, you’re Jean Kirstein? From Survey Corps?”
“Yep. That’s me.” Jean smirked and Marco’s stunned expression.
“Oh my God, my soulmate’s a celebrity. Wait, why were you so surprised that it was me?”
“Well a magazine published a picture of me shirtless and forgot to blur out my quote, so I’ve had hundreds of preteen girls screaming at me and trying to convince me that they’re my soulmate for the past few months.”
Marco winced. “Well, I can assure you that I’m the real deal. I never even saw that photo.”
A new voice joined the conversation, “Oh good, you’re not dead. I was kind of worried when I heard that thud. I thought that the asshole who was wearing sunglasses inside might be killing you.” The guy from behind the counter had decided to join them. Looking at him now, Jean could clearly see the family resemblance. The kid was like a smaller carbon copy of Marco.
“You thought I was being murdered and it took you this long to come check? I’m feeling the love.”
The boy shrugged. “Well I didn’t want to be killed too. If we were both gone who would watch the store?”
“Jean, this is my brother Isaac who apparently cares more about money and books than his brother’s life. Isaac, this is Jean, my soulmate.”
Jean reached out to shake his hand. “And the guy you just called an asshole. It’s nice to meet you.”
Isaac shook his hand and then turned to glare at his brother. “Your soulmate is Jean Kirstein and you couldn’t even bother to get me concert tickets for my birthday? See this is why I didn’t care if you were being murdered.”
“Get back to the front of the shop.” Marco rolled his eyes and gave Isaac a shove.
“I better be getting a personal show for Christmas!”
***
“Dude, the first time you met your soulmate you screamed ‘What the fuck?’ at him? That is too perfect.”
Jean had told everyone about Marco when they met for lunch that day. Eren found it hilarious and spent a good five minutes rolling around on the crying. Jean kicked him in the stomach. “Oh please, Mister ‘Why don’t you clean my windows?’ Like you’re any better. And I had an excuse! I thought he was just another rabid fan who had somehow seen through my brilliant disguise. Besides, it wasn’t even a shout. More like a loud outburst.”
“Close enough,” Eren snorted, dragging himself back into his chair.
Jean scowled and pushed him over.
Christa leaned forward. “So when are we going to meet him?” She was practically bouncing in her seat.
“Don’t worry. I have it all planned out.”
***
Two weeks later, the day had come. Everyone was antsy to meet his soulmate. He would make offhanded remarks whenever they were hanging out, “Oh, I can’t go tomorrow. I’m going on a date.” just to annoy them. He’d caught Sasha and Connie following him more than once, but always managed to throw them off his trail. Eren’s eyes twitched whenever his soulmate was brought up and by the weekend he was ready to explode.
“Would you just let us meet him?!”
“He’s coming to my concert tonight. You’ll see him there. Chill.”
“‘Chill!”” Eren stormed out of the room.
***
The building was more packed than any of his previous concerts, one of the perks of playing in your hometown. He caught a glimpse of Marco and Isaac dancing in the crowd near the font of the stage. He’d blushed when he’d handed Marco the two tickets over diner and had been rewarded with a kiss.
His close friends were the only ones who knew that he’d found his soulmate, so he still had girls clawing at his pants and screaming, drowning out half of his songs. One had even tried to climb onto the stage with him. The threat of a lawsuit was the only thing that stopped him from kicking her in the face.
“We’re going to be taking a short intermission.” Groans from the crowd as the rest of the band left. “But first I have an important announcement. I met my soulmate.” That actually got them to shut up for once. They all waited, holding their breath. He caught Marco’s eye. “Babe, come up here.” Marco shook his head frantically. Isaac grinned evilly and took it upon himself to shove Marco to the stage.
“Jean. I hate being on stage. I’m going to throw up on you,” Marco whispered when Jean pulled him up to stand beside him.
Jean wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned in to whisper,
“You’ll be fine.” He turned back to the audience. “This is Marco. He is actually my soulmate, so you can all stop pretending.” He pulled Marco into a kiss, which was met with high-pitched shrieks from the crowd. They didn’t seem to be taking his new relationship status too hard. “We’ll be back in 15 minutes. Don’t go anywhere.”
He threaded his fingers with Marco’s. “Come on, I want to introduce you to the rest of the band.”