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It’s hard to tell what hour it is exactly but definitely not an early one. And it’s not like time really matters on this godforsaken meteor but you just woke up and you were supposed to hang out with Karkat later today. Or maybe not later. Maybe you are already late and fucked and you aren’t even aware of the rage you just unleashed on yourself from the angry god - that is Karkat.
You check your phone in case he trolled you about it but you don’t see a flood of messages. Okay, chill dude, you’re not getting killed over your terrible time management (quite ironic taking into account your aspect). There’s… something though.
CG: DAVE, CHANGE OF PLANS
CG: WE’RE NOT WATCHING YOUR DUMB MOVIES TODAY
Oh no, no fucking way he’s getting out of this amazing bonding activity. You even talked to June about what movies you should watch this time and talking about movies to her is always quite a challenge. Besides, Karkat was the one who suggested this.
TG: oh fuck no
TG: im coming over it was your idea no turning back this time
CG: I’M SERIOUS DAVE JUST
CG: JUST GO HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE, IF YOU COME OVER I WILL NOT LET YOU IN, IT’S OUT OF QUESTION TODAY
TG: yeah…
TG: thats bs anyway im on my way get in your stupid pajamas
You were, in fact already packing the DVDs and walking out of your room as you were speaking. Yeah, no way this fucker is just going to wriggle out of this with a few messages. Bruce Willis is waiting so seriously, fuck your feelings, Vantas. You think to yourself as you go to the kitchen, because obviously you have to bring snacks. There’s no good dude-bro-platonic chill sessions without some junk food. You steal some stuff laying around, you guess that someone’s gonna miss their popcorn but it’s not your problem.
As you get to Karkat’s respiteblock you start getting a bit anxious. It’s not like you’re particularly anxious about hanging out with your friend, you’ve done it a million times before. But what if he gets mad at you for coming over even though he told you not to. And not Karkat-angry, what if he gets actually fucking mad and decides he hates you now and abandons you for good. You swallow, readjust your glasses and decide to ignore the thoughts and walk into the block anyway.
“Hi, dude, I got some sna-” you start with your usual swagger but what you walk onto catches you off guard.
He’s crying. You stand there for a bit, hands filled with snacks and drinks, not knowing how to react.
“Yeah, see that’s why I didn’t want you to come, okay? Happy?” Karkat aggressively wipes the red tears from his face. “You can fucking leave now, just- just don’t make me embarrass myself even more, Strider.” He gestures his hand at the door but you’re just standing there. No word, no visible reaction, you’re a bit dumbfounded to be honest, but you definitely don’t want to leave him alone, nor do you think it’s embarrassing in any way. “Why are you just-” Karkat’s eyes are clearly tearing up again, his voice breaks but he’s not letting it go “Why are you just fucking standing there?” he lets out something between a scream and a sob.
And that’s when some kind of fucking reflex finally reaches your stupid little brain and you immidietly drop everything on a stool beside you and before he can protest in any way you take Karkat into the warmest fucking hug you can possibly imagine.
“It’s fine, Karkat” you assure him while pulling away, still holding his shoulders with your hands as if he could run away or disappear at any second now. “You’re not embarrassing yourself, you idiot, it’s fine.” You look him the eye and crack a half-smile.
You quickly get up before you get too emotional too, because that’s the last thing either of you wants right now and get the movie disc. You put it in the troll’s husktop and set the snacks on a bedside table. You settle down on the bed leaning on a wall and pat the place beside you “come on, dude, let’s just chill”. Without a word Karkat complies and sits next to you, your shoulders almost touching which sends sparks down your spine.
The movie you’re watching is really rather quite boring but you managed to almost forget about your friend’s sobbing. Almost but you instantly remember when you take a look at him and his face is still visibly red and swollen. Poor guy must’ve been crying for hours before you came.
“Hey,” you whisper to check if he’s asleep, but he’s not and you’ve got his full attention now “do you wanna like, talk about it or whatever?” You ask and mentally facepalm yourself for how awkward you must sound.
“Yeah, I don’t know- I mean, maybe? But-” as soon as he starts speaking you can see red welling up in his eyes again. You automatically put a hand on his thigh and this seems to calm him down. Or at least stop him in his tracks. Whatever, why would your presence be calming to anyone, anyway.
“It’s nothing serious, it’s just all the fucking trauma we went through lately? It really takes its toll on my mental stability which y’kno wasn’t very stable to begin with and-” you notice he’s full on crying again. “I don’t know, it’s really goddamn hard to make sense of it all.” You wipe some tears from his face with the top of your hand and as soon as you take your hand away Karkat hides his face in his sweater.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this,” he mutters from under the red fabric.
“Man, I don’t know either” you laugh a little and then get back to your serious expression. “But I get it, I think we all do, we’ve all been through some heavy shit recently. And in general I guess” You are so bad at getting your message through with words. You always blabber about some dumb bullshit but it’s so hard to say anything that makes sense when you actually need to. “And you don’t have to blame yourself for this, we all have those days. Fuck, have you seen Rose lately? Or anyone for that matter?” You start motioning around with your hands. “Have you seen me, for fuck’s sake?” You laugh a bit but you can feel a tear streaming down your cheek.
“See, I know that but it’s just with you that I-” he stops for a second, like he’s not sure if he wants to say something, which, to be honest, doesn’t happen often with Vantas. “With you I can feel like you really understand, like there’s no explanation needed, really because you somehow know it all already.” He wipes away a tear which escaped from under your shades with his thumb and places his palm on your cheek and you collapse into it.
You’re not going to cry. It’s cool, it’s fucking super.
“And I don’t think I have to tell you how I feel about you” he somehow looks straight into your eyes regardless of your glasses “because somehow you already know.”
And you know. Because the words he just said meant, like, a million times more than just saying “I like like you” and you realise that avoiding actually saying things by making complex metaphors is actually a very Strider thing to do. And you realize it’s because he knows you better than you do and vice versa.
“So why were you so scared of me coming over?” you furrow your eyebrows curiously.
“I guess I was scared you wouldn’t like me if you saw me like that” he shrugs and blushes, taking his hand away from your face “all red and puffed and ugly and-”
"Listen, I know that when you think something you close your stupid head like a can of fucking tuna and it's impossible to get anything through to you because the aluminium or whatever just protects your stupid self-deprecating tuna thought mush. And I know you'd rather pretend that nothing's wrong but the tuna will eventually rot and it won't be pleasant, trust me." You take a breath but continue before he can say anything against you. "But you can let it out. You can talk to me, you can act like a baby and it's ok. I hope-" you hesitate because you're scared you're going too far with this "I hope I can make you feel a bit- more at peace." And then it hits you like a train - your hand on his pajama pants. Maybe you can calm him down. Maybe your presence can actually be good for someone. You guess you have some self-esteem work to do as well.
"It's so hard to believe that anyone could want to waste their time on someone like me, especially when they know all the shit you know and-"
You take his face into your hands and kiss him gently. You, Dave Strider kiss Karkat Vantas because you’re quite sick of his bullshit.
“Oh” You hear when you pull away.
“Oh? That’s it? Oh?” You’re baffled by this reaction, an anxiety filled balloon growing in your stomach.
“I’m sorry” Karkat chuckles and how wonderful it is to hear this instead of crying. “I guess that means you’re not leaving just because I’m a stupid traumatised ugly-crying wriggler?”
“God, no. And are you trying to make me kiss you again so you stop with the self deprecation?” You brush your hand though his slightly tangled hair and your foreheads meet.
“Maybe if you just kissed me, you asshole” and you don’t let him finish his sentence before kissing him, more surely this time.
Credits start to roll and you feel Karkat suddenly pulling away from you,
"Oh for fuck's sake, Dave I actually wanted to see if this fucker dies!" He screams, clearly having regained his ridiculously loud Vantas voice.
"It's Bruce Willis, dude, he never dies." You laugh and jump off the bed to take the movie out and ask whether he wants to see another one and before he agrees you out another disc in. Because you know.
And you hold his hand and you know he's at peace and you find it funny that you were ever even a bit scared to walk into his block. When a jump scare happens you feel Karkat's hand clench on your checkered red and black pajama pants and you think about how your pants suit his sweater. Possible future boyfriend steal, you make a mental note. And you don't know how much time has passed but you feel so warm inside and out and it's not like time really matters on this godforsaken meteor.