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Chapter Text

Tuesday, November 2nd

It’s a quiet evening and Shen Yuan is lazing around in his living room after a tiring day at the university he works at. There’s nothing good on the TV to watch so he’s considering the pros and cons of actually getting off the couch to go grab his laptop from his room when the door of his apartment suddenly opens and someone aggressively walks in, slamming the door while cursing about something that he can’t really understand.

Shen Yuan takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the dramatic monologue he’ll inevitably have to endure considering that his brother was supposed to be out celebrating his anniversary with his boyfriend, Yue Qingyuan.

“You won’t believe what happened,” Shen Jiu starts, fighting to get his coat off. For all the grace and elegance his brother is known to have, he sure seems to be struggling right now. Shen Yuan almost wants to go help him but he’s not into becoming the target of his wrath so he stays on the couch. 

“That fucking idiot. That garbage of a human being. That, that, that ASSHOLE,” Shen Jiu continues, finally taking his coat off. Shen Yuan would make fun of his choice of curses if he was braver. 

“What did he do?” he asks instead, even if he can probably guess where this is going.

“He forgot our anniversary! He forgot it! Can you believe it?!”

Shen Yuan sure can, since this is not the first time something like this has happened. He can’t really blame Yue Qingyuan for it considering that he and Shen Jiu have broken up and gotten back together so many times through the years, it’s kind of hard to keep track of all the dates. 

“Of course I broke up with him,” he adds, pacing around the room while aggressively fanning himself with a random brochure. “Where the fuck is my fan? Ugh, anyway, this is it. This is final, I never wanna see him again, I swear. We are over.” 

Shen Yuan just sighs, not wanting to be part of this. Of course he cares about his twin brother and his happiness, but it’s not like Shen Jiu actually ever listens to his advice. The first time that he and Yue Qingyuan broke up while they were still in university, he tried his best to help even if Shen Jiu never told him what had happened. It had seemed serious enough, and his brother spent almost half a year moping around, so Shen Yuan had thought that that would be the end of their relationship. He was very wrong. 

“Why do I even bother with him? Seriously! A’Yuan, why did you let me date him again? We all know that he’s scum! I should have cut him off my life years ago! Or better, never met him! Why did I meet him again?” Shen Jiu keeps talking, not really paying attention to him.

“So this is final?” Shen Yuan asks, just to seem invested. 

“It is! We’re over!” his brother says, finally taking a seat on the couch next to him. 

“Alright,” Shen Yuan responds, not believing him in the slightest. “Are we still going to Mu Qingfang’s birthday party on Saturday?” he asks even though he’s not exactly looking forward to it. Mu Qingfang is an old friend of theirs, but Shen Yuan doesn’t really talk to him much anymore; Shen Jiu is the one who’s actually close to him. 

“Of course we are! Qingfang was my friend first!” Shen Jiu answers, opening his phone to send a message, probably ranting about Yue Qingyuan to one of his poor friends.

“Great. This is going to be fun,” Shen Yuan says to himself. At least Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi are gonna be there to keep him company.

Saturday, November 6th

The weekend comes quicker than Shen Yuan realizes, and he now has to attend a party he doesn’t really want to. It’s not like this is a crazy big party or that he dislikes Mu Qingfang, it’s just that there’s a specific person in this house that he desperately wants to avoid. It doesn’t help that this year Mu Qingfang’s party can barely be called a party considering how few people there are present. It’s more of a casual gathering of friends and family, which is something that Shen Yuan would normally appreciate, if it wasn’t for the birthday man’s sister.

Mu Dongmei is the beautiful older sister of his old friend. A very friendly and charming woman who also happens to work at the same university as Shen Yuan. Although Shen Yuan was really happy about having someone that he knows as a senior when he first started working there this year, he soon realized that there was a big problem. 

That problem being that he doesn’t know how to deal with people flirting with him even at the age of 26, and the fact that Mu Dongmei casually hits on him at least twice a week. It’s not like she’s not respectful of his boundaries or anything like that; Shen Yuan just doesn’t know how to tell her to stop. He’s sure that she would respect it if he ever told her, but he just hasn’t found the opportunity since she hasn’t actually asked him out and he keeps thinking that he may be misunderstanding her intentions. There’s always a chance that she’s just a flirty person, right?

After greeting Mu Qingfang and awkwardly laughing at Mu Dongmei’s comment about how good he looks tonight, he quickly separates from his brother and escapes to the balcony where he has already spotted his two closest friends.

“Look who decided to show up,” Qi Qingqi says instead of a greeting, while Liu Qingge disapprovingly shakes his head next to her, both of them resting against the railings. 

“Ugh, let me live,” Shen Yuan tells them, sitting at the only available chair on the balcony and adjusting his glasses. 

“She already attacked you?” Qi Qingqi asks playfully, lighting kicking his leg.

Shen Yuan nods, pouting a little. “I mean, she just complimented me a little, nothing outrageous,” he clarifies, not wanting to make her seem bad unintentionally. 

“If you’re uncomfortable, you should just tell her,” Liu Qingge says, tone serious. 

"I'm not uncomfortable, I just—" 

"Don't know how to say no to people," Qi Qingqi interrupts, crossing her arms. "You've always been like this."

Shen Yuan doesn't really know how to defend himself since the three of them have been friends for 7 years now and they both know him too well. 

"It's just like that one time I asked you to come get nipple piercings with me back in uni and you agreed even though you're terrified of needles," she continues and Shen Yuan wishes she could have at least picked another example. 

"I did want to do that though! I just failed to mention my… small phobia," he tries to save face anyway, glaring at her. 

"Small, right. You fainted twice," Qi Qingqi points out, raising an eyebrow. 

"That obviously wasn't planned. I was young and naive and thought that that would make me more popular," he responds, probably pouting again. 

"And how did that work out for you?" she asks, ruthless as usual. Shen Yuan is about to flip her off when Liu Qingge speaks again. 

"Mu-Jie is definitely into you," he says, joining the bullying Shen Yuan hours. 

"Ugh, I hate you both. I was busy with my PhD, you know, how could I have time for relationships!" he argues, not wanting to think about his lack of love interests in the past few years. 

"Right, that's the only reason," Qi Qingqi says, wiggling her eyebrows. Shen Yuan thinks that she's trying to imply something considering her weird expression, but he chooses to ignore it. He should have pretended he was sick and stayed home. 

The three of them continue to bicker like this for a while and Shen Yuan starts feeling a little more at ease here, especially when they switch to teasing Liu Qingge instead of him. The younger man has always been his favourite person to tease; his reactions are too cute.

His favourite activity unfortunately gets interrupted by Mu Qingfang’s sister joining them on the balcony. Shen Yuan guesses he’s the one she wants to talk to so he gets up to walk towards her, hoping for the best. The balcony isn’t particularly big so his friends are still within earshot.

“There you are, Shen Yuan,” Mu Dongmei says, smiling at him. “This is probably not the best place to ask this,” she continues, glancing behind her at all the people gathered inside the house. “But it’s definitely more appropriate than doing this at work, so, I wanted to ask if you would like to go on a date with me one of these days?” 

She sounds hopeful and Shen Yuan feels horrible about having to reject her, and also for probably leading her on by not having stopped her advances earlier. 

“I… I’m sorry but I’m already seeing someone,” he says without thinking about it. Possibly because it sounds better than saying that he’s simply not interested in her in particular. 

“Oh really? Ahh I didn’t know, I apologize,” Mu Dongmei responds casually. Shen Yuan is about to breathe in relief but she continues. “So, who’s the lucky person?” she asks, waggling her eyebrows. He almost wants to turn around to ask his friends for help, but he decides to deal with this like an adult.

Okay, that was a lie. He doesn’t know how to deal with this at all. He concludes that saying ‘oh it’s someone you don’t know’ sounds too suspicious so he tries to think of a name to tell her. His first thought is to say that he’s dating Qi Qingqi, but considering how often she publicly talks about how gay she is, he decides that it’s not a wise idea. 

“It’s Qingge,” he blurts, immediately regretting it. He hears footsteps approaching him from behind.

“So you two are together?” Mu Dongmei asks, not sounding surprised. Shen Yuan is afraid that Liu Qingge will expose him but thankfully his friend plays along. 

“Yeah, we are,” he says, coming to stand next to him.

“Ahh that makes sense. It definitely explains why you drop him off to work all the time,” she responds, nodding at them approvingly. 

Shen Yuan really wants to ask why she doesn’t seem at least a little surprised and what she means by ‘it makes sense’ but it would probably not help his situation so he just smiles instead.

“Anyway, sorry for the flirting. I did suspect that there might be something going on between the two of you but I decided to shoot my shot since you never stopped me,” she says, and how Shen Yuan wishes he had.

“They’re pretty obvious, aren’t they? They never managed to hide it from me,” Qi Qingqi says, joining the conversation. Even though it looks like she’s trying to help, he still feels that she’s mocking him somehow.

“Ahh you should have told me. I would have stopped, I’m not a homewrecker,” Mu Dongmei says, lightly hitting his arm. “Or maybe I am,” she adds, playfully winking at him. Shen Yuan awkwardly laughs. He really wants the ground to open and swallow him whole so he can get away from this conversation as soon as possible. 

He tries to think of a way to escape when he feels an arm wrap around his waist protectively. He stares at the hand touching him, and before he has time to process what’s happening and turn to look at Liu Qingge’s face, Mu Dongmei talks again.

“I’m joking, I’m joking of course, don’t take me seriously!” she says, raising her hands in surrender while laughing. "I'm very happy for you guys! We should go on double dates once i find a boyfriend." Shen Yuan doesn't want to be mean, but he sure hopes she won't find a boyfriend anytime soon. 

Before he has time to embarrass himself more, someone calls them to go inside to eat. Liu Qingge keeps his arm around him as they make their way into the living room. 

Shen Yuan thinks he's finally saved from this awkward interaction, but of course the universe is against him again. 

"Didi, why didn't you tell me that Shen Yuan was dating Qingge?" Mu Dongmei asks her brother loudly when they approach him. 

"He is? Ahh I haven't seen him in a while and A'Jiu didn't mention it," Mu Qingfang says, not looking that surprised. "Congrats you two," he adds, smiling at them. 

"Thank you," Liu Qingge replies for the both of them, squeezing his waist. Shen Yuan tries to smile and not look like he's dying inside. He's doing his best to ignore his brother glaring at him from across the room. 

The rest of the night is uneventful. They all hang out together while eating and drinking, so Shen Yuan doesn't really have time to talk to Liu Qingge about what happened until it's time for him to leave. He walks him to his car, finally finding some privacy to talk. 

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says, staring at his best friend. Liu Qingge is very important to him so he hopes he didn't fuck this up. Shen Yuan really curses himself for not thinking before he speaks sometimes. 

"It's okay, I don't mind," the younger man reassures him, giving him a little smile. "Well, I do think that you could have handled this better but now it's too late to change that. We can just clarify to our friends that we are not together, don't think about the others," Liu Qingge says, always reliable. 

"You sure you're okay with this?" Shen Yuan feels the need to ask. He really didn’t mean for everyone to hear about his stupid lie. 

"I already said I don't mind, stupid," Liu Qingge replies, lightly punching his chest. "I'll have to go now but I'll see you on Monday, alright?" 

"Alright," he agrees, feeling a little better. "Drive safely."

After Liu Qingge leaves, it doesn't take long for Shen Jiu to corner him and ask him about this whole mess. 

"I can explain," he starts, ready to confess his lie. 

"Explain what?! Seriously, from all the people you could have dated, you chose that hooligan?! Do you not have any respect for your only family?!" Shen Jiu starts his dramatics again. He’s not even his /only/ family.

"He punched you once, years ago!" he feels the need to say even though he should be correcting the dating part.

"Your point?! I had to walk around campus with a black eye for a week!" his brother responds, fanning himself with his folded fan. Shen Yuan wishes he had brought his with him too. 

"Weren't you the one who insulted him and punched him first?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. It sure was a memorable fight. 

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who did martial arts ever since I could walk!" Shen Jiu reasons. "Anyway, I can't say I didn't expect this," he adds casually. "Disappointed, but not surprised." 

Shen Yuan should really start rethinking his whole life. Why is that everyone so easily believes what is obviously a lie? He and Liu Qingge may be very close but not in /that/ way. 

"I don't approve of him of course but it was obvious that he had a crush on you since uni and you weren't that good at hiding the fact that you like him either so, whatever, do what you want," Shen Jiu delivers the final blow, completely leaving Shen Yuan speechless. 

What is his brother talking about now? Liu Qingge never had a crush on him of course. How can Shen Yuan even start correcting this mess? 

Chapter Text

Monday, November 8th

Monday is Shen Yuan’s favorite day of the weekdays simply because it’s the only day that his and Liu Qingge’s work schedules align perfectly.

Since he never got his driving licence (and he doesn’t intend to), his friend had been kind enough to offer to drive him to and back from work whenever he was free, since it takes a bit too long to get to the university from his apartment using public transportation. 

Shen Jiu told him that he’s stupid and that he should just learn how to drive and not depend on others, but to be honest Shen Yuan had been fine with moving around with public transportation until he started working there. He seriously considers convincing his brother to rent an apartment closer to the university now. Maybe somewhere closer to Liu Qingge’s apartment.

Liu Qingge comes to pick him up on time as usual, already having turned the heat on since he knows that Shen Yuan gets cold easily. Shen Yuan sometimes thinks that he may be taking advantage of his friend’s kindness.

“So, did you clear things up with your brother?” the younger man asks after a few minutes of casual conversation. Shen Yuan freezes on his seat, feeling dread washing over him. Fuck, he forgot about that.

“About that…” he starts, looking out the window. “I was planning on telling him right away but I panicked because he started saying all those weird things and then he spent the whole Sunday complaining about his break up and I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire and say that I lied—”

“A’Yuan,” his friend interrupts his rant. “Why are you so nervous about this? I don’t really mind what other people think of us so don’t overthink it, okay?” Shen Yuan turns to look at Liu Qingge and he once again feels grateful for having him in his life.

“Okay, but I still need to explain it to him soon, right?” he asks a bit steadier now.

“I guess? He’s your brother so you probably don’t want to lie to him. But it’s not like we have to explain to /everyone/ what we are because of a misunderstanding,” Liu Qingge says, giving him a side glance.

“Ahh Qingge you really are the best!” Shen Yuan feels the need to announce, smiling at his friend. He thinks he can spot the younger’s cheek turning a little red at that, always shy about getting compliments. 

“Okay, but I have a favor to ask,” he starts, feeling only a little bad about it. “Can we please act slightly like a couple in front of Mu Dongmei? I don’t want to tell her that I lied about it, that would be very awkward.” It’s probably not the wisest idea but he doesn’t want to admit his lie to her considering that they work in the same building and see each other almost everyday.

“Sure, sure,” Liu Qingge says, shaking his head. “I’ll play my part.”

When they arrive at the university, Mu Dongmei just happens to be parking her car a little away from the entrance. Shen Yuan starts questioning what he did in his past life to deserve this.

“I swear I don’t even see her in the mornings usually! But look! She just has to show up in front of me today!” He can’t help his frustration from showing on his voice.

“Relax,” Liu Qingge says, stopping his car on the side of the road. “It’s not like we would start making out in front of your university even if we were actually dating, don’t overthink it,” he reassures him, reaching out to hold his hand.

“You’re right,” Shen Yuan replies, squeezing his friend’s hand. He really shouldn’t panic about this but he wasn’t prepared to have to deal with this so early in the morning.

Before he has time to ask Liu Qingge if they should do anything considering that Mu Dongmei can probably see them as she walks towards the entrance, the younger man leans in and whispers in his ear. “She’s looking,” he says, lingering too close for a few moments.

Shen Yuan freezes on his spot, wondering what the hell is going on, until he realizes that Liu Qingge is trying to make this seem like a goodbye kiss. Without thinking too much about it, he gives him a quick kiss on his cheek, before almost teleporting out of the car with a ‘see you later’.

He doesn’t turn to look back at Liu Qingge or try to greet Mu Dongmei as he enters the building. All he can think about is why did he decide that it was necessary to do that.

Liu Qingge is already waiting for him when Shen Yuan finishes work and goes to the parking lot. He decides to act like he hasn’t been thinking about that cheek kiss the whole day. It wasn’t even the first time that he had kissed his cheek so, really, no reason to overthink it.

“How was work?” Liu Qingge asks after he gets in and they start driving.

“Ugh, pretty tiring. I barely had time for a break since one of the professors got sick and I had to cover for her too,” he replies, thinking that he should definitely be getting paid more than this. “How about you?”

“It was fine, nothing exciting,” the younger man says, looking ahead on the road. Shen Yuan once again appreciates how good his side profile is. 

“Did you eat?” Liu Qingge asks, giving him a side glance, probably already knowing the answer.

“I ate some snacks? I didn’t have time for a proper meal.” He’s waiting for the usual lecture about how he should take better care of himself but Liu Qingge decides to spare him this time.

“Then I’m taking you back to my place and I’ll make us a meal. I haven’t eaten properly either,” he says instead. This is not the first time this has happened considering that Liu Qingge lives significantly closer to the university than he does. 

“Ahh food, yes! But you don’t have to cook, we can order. You must be tired too,” Shen Yuan tries, even though his friend has already made his decision.

“I was already planning to cook today, it’s fine,” Liu Qingge reassures him, smiling a little. He doesn’t have another reason to protest.

Liu Qingge’s apartment is smaller than what you would expect the son of a relatively rich family to have, but the younger man has never been into the luxury life. He has told Shen Yuan in the past that he prefers living in a smaller place since it’s much easier to manage considering that he lives alone. His apartment still has two bedrooms and a medium sized living room, but Shen Yuan is sure he could afford a much bigger house if he wanted to.

He’s really familiar with the place since Liu Qingge has been living here for a few years now and Shen Yuan visits him or spends the night pretty often, so when the younger tells him that he can go take a shower while he starts cooking, he doesn’t have to ask about anything.

He quickly goes into Liu Qingge’s bedroom and opens the drawer that he knows the younger man keeps his sleeping clothes in. There are even some old shirts of his there but he ignores them in favor of getting to wear one of Liu Qingge’s oversized ones. Well, oversized on /him/, considering that Shen Yuan definitely doesn’t work out for a living like his friend.

After he takes everything he needs, including the green towels that he usually uses, he goes to the bathroom. Although he has taken a shower multiple times here, this is the first time he stops to think about how much of his stuff is in Liu Qingge’s bathroom.

It’s not weird for him to have his own toothbrush, bath sponge, slippers and shampoo (for his dry ass hair) on his best friend’s house, right? He just happens to sleep here often. Shang Qinghua did find it a little weird when he mentioned that they also sleep on the same bed even though Liu Qingge has a spare bedroom, but it’s just more convenient. This way they don’t have to prepare another room for Shen Yuan to sleep just once. And either way, Shang Qinghua’s opinion isn’t trustworthy. 

Shen Yuan spends the whole duration of his shower overthinking if he may have been ignoring something very important all these years. It must be that he hasn’t been in a serious relationship with anyone in almost 3 years. He is just desperate for romance in his life now, nothing weird. Liu Qingge just happens to be his closest friend and also a really nice dude, that’s it.

After Shen Yuan is done with his shower and overthinking, he joins Liu Qingge in the kitchen. The younger man is still busy with cooking.

“What any help?” he asks, walking closer to him. Liu Qingge gives him some instructions so gets to work too. It’s always nice to cook with him, especially because the younger man is really patient with him and his mediocre cooking skills. Shen Yuan definitely avoids being in the kitchen when his brother is using it because Shen Jiu is always complaining about everything.

“Oh, by the way, Mingyan is visiting next week,” Liu Qingge says after a few minutes of quietly working together.

“Really? Ahh I still haven’t given her that book that I promised in the summer,” Shen Yuan replies excited. Liu Qingge’s sister may be a few years younger than them but they have always gotten along due to their common interest in literature. Shen Yuan even introduced her to his stupid writer friend, Shang Qinghua, last year. 

“Hmm, she’ll come here on Thursday. Want to come over on Friday for your book club meeting or whatever you guys do?” Liu Qingge says as they finally finish with the cooking. “She said she had something to give you too.”

“Sure! I can stay over for the weekend? I haven’t seen her in a while.” Shen Yuan casually invites himself since he always ends up sleeping here whenever he visits anyway. His friend just hums and starts serving their food. 

The rest of the evening passes with comfortable conversation and then an episode of that one TV series they both like. They sit close on the couch, with Shen Yuan occasionally getting cozy against Liu Qingge’s shoulder or throwing one leg over his lap. The younger only complains about it once, when Shen Yuan accidentally kicks him while trying to get comfortable.

Once the episode ends, Shen Yuan notices that it’s almost midnight. He dreads having to leave the warmth of Liu Qingge’s house in order to get to his own house but he works early tomorrow again so he should probably get going. He gets up to go change back to his own clothes when Liu Qingge grabs his hand and stops him.

“Aren’t you staying over?” he asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I have an early day tomorrow, remember? You don’t work until noon,” Shen Yuan says because even though he’d like nothing more than to stay here, he doesn’t want to to inconvenience his friend more.

“Do you have everything you need for work with you? Apart from clothes,” Liu Qingge asks instead, pulling him to sit back down with him, not letting go of his hand. Shen Yuan turns to face him, tilting his head in confusion. 

“I do?” he says, unsure of where this is going.

“Then just borrow some of my clothes and I’ll drive you there in the morning,” his friend announces, nodding his head. “I was already planning on waking up early to run some errands, don’t start,” he adds before Shen Yuan can argue more. 

Shen Yuan just shakes his head and gets comfortable on the couch again, closing his eyes. “You really are spoiling me, Qingge. What am I going to do when you get a boyfriend and I don’t have anyone to drive me around anymore?” he asks, laughing to himself. That thought sure seems weird but it’s not like it is impossible.

“That’s… that’s not gonna happen,” Liu Qinqge mumbles. Shen Yuan opens his eyes slightly to look at him. 

“Your boyfriend is gonna be jealous if you keep doing it,” he says, nudging him with his knee. 

He admits that he’s not looking forward to Liu Qingge getting into a relationship, but only because he’s the only one of his friends that he sees so often. Qi Qingqi is always busy with work and only meets them on weekends, while Shang Qinghua travels around with his mysterious boyfriend all the time and barely stays long enough to visit anymore. He does have Shen Jiu of course, but for some reason he thinks it would be weird to not be around Liu Qingge whenever he wants. It’s probably a bit childish to think like that but he can’t help it.

“I’m not looking for someone else,” the younger man says, squeezing his hand. Shen Yuan thinks the phrasing of it is a little weird but he assumes that Liu Qingge isn’t interested in getting in a relationship right now.

“Well, that’s fine with me,” he tells him, smiling softly. “We can be single together.” His friend momentarily makes a face he can’t interpret, before clearing his throat and telling him to go get really for bed.

“You’ll sleep in my room, right?” Liu Qingge asks as they‘re heading to his bedroom.

“Yeah?” Shen Yuan replies, unsure of why he’s even asking. He’s never slept in any other room all the times he’s been here. Well, apart from that one time both Liu Qingge and him fell asleep on the couch together.

“Okay, just making sure.” Liu Qingge doesn’t turn back to look at him as he’s saying this. Shen Yuan is about to start overthinking the situation once again, but then his friend suddenly picks him up and throws him on the bed.

“Qingge! Why did you do that?!” he asks, trying to sound serious even though he’s kind of amused. He definitely got caught off guard there. Liu Qingge has the nerve to laugh at him right after attacking him.

“Just felt like it,” he replies, right before jumping on top of him. 

“Xiao-Liu! Liu Qingge! I swear, get off me! You weigh a ton oh my god!” Shen Yuan chuckles, trying to escape, his glasses almost slipping off his face. “What happened to being adults, huh?” he questions, not able to stop himself from laughing anymore after Liu Qingge starts tickling him. 

“You don’t have to pretend you’re mature in front of me,” the younger man replies, sliding to the side, finally releasing Shen Yuan. “I know you’re stupid,” he adds, earning a kick from Shen Yuan. 

“Did you ask me to stay over just to bully me?!”

Chapter Text

Friday, November 12th

Shen Yuan is sitting on his desk marking assignments when he gets a message from Liu Qingge asking him if he wants to come pick him up later. He thinks about it for a moment before deciding that he has inconvenienced him too much lately so he gets up to go ask his brother for a ride instead.

Shen Jiu is sitting on the couch watching some stupid reality show instead of working as he had said he’d do, but Shen Yuan chooses not to comment on it. “I’ll stay over at Qingge's house for the weekend. Can you drive me there?” he asks instead.

“Again? Aren’t you two tired of fucking?” his brother replies, tactless as usual. Shen Yuan really wants to remind him that whenever Yue Qingyuan and he are dating he sleeps in his house more often than not but holds back for the sake of getting a ride.

“Mingyan is visiting,” he points out. “We have a book club meeting.” Sometimes a book club can be you and your best friend’s younger sister.

“Oh, so nothing fun. Is that Shang Qinghua going to be there too?” Shen Jiu asks. Okay, their book club has a third member but he’s currently not in town.

“Nope. I think he’s somewhere in Spain with his mafia boss boyfriend right now.” That Mo Bingwen is very shady if you ask Shen Yuan. Who the hell meets someone at a club and asks them to travel around the world with them a week later?

“Haven’t we established that he’s not actually affiliated with the mafia?” his brother asks, narrowing his eyes. Well, maybe he’s not but he sure has the money for it. Shang Qinghua probably lucked out with seducing him.

“Whatever, are you driving me to Qingge’s apartment or not?” They have more serious things to discuss than that idiot’s love life.

“I will. Now leave me alone,” Shen Jiu says, and Shen Yuan just stares at him for a while. 

That was suspiciously easy , he thinks. His twin brother always complains whenever he asks him to drive him somewhere, especially when it’s related to Liu Qingge. Why did he say yes so easily this time?

His suspicions prove to be correct when they reach Liu Qingge’s house later that day and Shen Jiu gets out of the car with him instead of driving off. 

“What are you doing?” he asks him, trying to stop him from entering the building with him.

“I have something to say to that boyfriend of yours,” his brother replies, casually evading him and walking into the building and towards the elevator.

“What? What do you want to tell him?” Shen Yuan tries, but all his questions get ignored. He’s not into stopping a fight between these two today. He’s seriously considering running away and letting them deal with whatever the issue is alone.

When Liu Qingge opens the door and sees both twins instead of one, his greeting gets stuck in his throat. “What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, glowering at Shen Jiu. Shen Yuan tries to catch his eyes to silently communicate with him but his friend is currently in a glaring contest with his twin, not paying him attention.

“I don’t approve of you,” his brother says bluntly. Shen Yuan should have seen this coming. Of course Shen Jiu agreed to this so easily because he wanted to give his ‘boyfriend’ the shovel talk. “But for some reason A’Yuan really seems to like you so you better not hurt him,” he continues, pointing his finger at the younger man.

…

What is his brother talking about now? Shen Yuan is a little offended that Shen Jiu hasn’t figured out his lie yet; he’s supposed to be the person who knows him the best, how did he get fouled so easily?

“I would never hurt him,” Liu Qingge says then, catching him off guard. He sounds so genuine, Shen Yuan is almost touched. It’s only normal that his heart skips a beat while witnessing this excellent acting performance. 

“Good,” Shen Jiu nods. “Or I’ll make sure your gym goes out of business,” he adds, lifting his chin in an effort to assert dominance. Before Liu Qingge has time to reply to that, Shen Jiu turns around and quickly enters the elevator, leaving the two of them standing at the door, staring at the now empty spot Shen Yuan’s brother was previously standing. 

“Are you guys done?” Liu Mingyan’s voice brings them back to reality. Both of them seem to realize at the same time that the younger girl had been standing within earshot this whole time, hearing the entirety of this awkward conversation.

Liu Qingge clears his throat and gestures to Shen Yuan to come inside at last. After the door closes behind them, they come face to face with Liu Mingyan. 

“You two are dating?” she asks, her arms crossed in front of her.

Shen Yuan decides to stay silent and let the younger man take care of this since he seems to be making things worse every time he opens his mouth. This is not his sister after all.

“We are,” is the only thing that Liu Qingge says, surprising Shen Yuan once again. Isn’t he supposed to be the one who really hates lies out of the two of them? How come he didn’t immediately clear things up?

“Ahh finally!” Liu Mingyan says then, excitedly. “I was waiting for this!”

…

It really is getting harder and harder for Shen Yuan to act like there’s nothing weird with everyone not only not being surprised with the idea of them dating, but also expecting it. They may both be into men but that doesn’t mean that they have been secretly in love this whole time!

“How come?” he can’t help but ask, forcing a laugh that he hopes sounds amused.

“I have eyes!” is all she says, offering them one of those rare smiles she usually only preserves for when she’s talking about her favorite novels.

Liu Qingge clears his throat once more, finally speaking again. “Let’s not make a big deal out of this,” he starts. “You two go have your book club meeting, I’ll cook us dinner.” 

Liu Mingyan nods at him and then turns to Shen Yuan, gesturing at all the books waiting for them on the coffee table. He doesn’t need to be told anything else.

The two of them spend the next two hours talking about all the books they’ve read since the last time they met, with Shen Yuan using his degree for some professional roasting. They even facetime Shang Qinghua at some point, the author telling them about the book he’s currently working on while simultaneously showing off the private pool at the hotel he and Mo Bingwen are staying in. The call abruptly ends when the mafia boss shows up and whispers something in his ear. Shen Yuan really doesn’t want to know what this was about but he will unfortunately probably receive a message from his friend explaining everything that happened with too many details later.

Liu Qingge joins them at some point, sitting on the couch next to Shen Yuan, silently playing some game on his phone. Shen Yuan finds the opportunity to use him as a pillow, getting more comfortable while he’s yet again complaining about the plot holes in one of the many novels he’s read.

“You’re right, but the romance made up for it,” Liu Mingyan comments, leaning forward on the armchair she’s sitting in.

“I don’t know, I wasn’t a big fan of the love interest, he was too controlling. I’m not into that type of guys,” he points out. Saying that he wasn’t a big fan is an understatement considering that he spent the whole book cursing him out.

“You’re really lucky to have my brother then,” she says softly, before returning to flicking through the pages of the book she’s holding. Shen Yuan steals a glance at the man sitting next to him. Liu Qingge doesn’t turn to look at him but his face has turned suspiciously red. Shen Yuan almost wants to kiss his cheeks.

I am , he thinks, but can’t say.

After they eat dinner and hang out for a bit more, Liu Mingyan retires to the guest room since she always likes reading for a while before sleeping. The two men are left alone in the living room for the first time today.

“So…” Liu Qingge starts once he is sure that his sister can’t hear them. “I should have probably cleared things up.”

Shen Yuan sighs and turns to look at him. “I’m really not the right person to judge you on this.” He definitely doesn’t have the right to complain considering how all this started because of him anyway.

His friend nods, still looking troubled.

“What is it?” he asks him. He really doesn’t want this mess to affect their relationship so it’s better to talk about it.

“I just hope you’re not uncomfortable with this,” the younger man mumbles, looking at his hands.

“Wasn’t I the one who started this? I’m not uncomfortable. I’m just awkward, you know that. I don’t know how I should be acting so it may look like I’m uncomfortable to you but I’m really not, I swear,” he says decisively. And it’s true. He may find the situation awkward but it’s not like he is actually uncomfortable with the idea of dating Liu Qingge. He is sure that his friend would make a great boyfriend.

“Well, just act like normal,” Liu Qingge pouts, finally making eye contact. Maybe he is also afraid that this situation could potentially affect their friendship.

“I will, I will,” he reassures him. “Now let’s go back to our game.”

After wasting another half an hour from their lives playing video games, Liu Qingge gets up to go to the bathroom. Shen Yuan finds the opportunity to hide his phone by laying on top of it on the couch. Definitely immature but he just enjoys watching his friend panic about losing his phone. He needs some entertainment from time to time.

When Liu Qingge returns to the room he sits on the couch next to Shen Yuan’s feet. It takes a few minutes for him to realize that his phone is no longer on the table and gets up to start searching for it.

“Where did you put it?!” he glares at Shen Yuan, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replies, trying to stop his giggling. He gets more comfortable on the couch, trying to seem innocent.

“Give it back before I attack you,” the younger man warns, getting closer to him.

“I would like to see that,” Shen Yuan tells him, waggling his eyebrows, provoking him on purpose. Liu Qingge squints his eyes before getting on the couch and climbing on top of him, trying to search for his phone under him.

“I’ll throw you on the floor,” he hisses, his hands still trying to move under Shen Yuan’s body. He receives a few light hits on his chest for that even though Shen Yuan knows that he would never do it. He can’t help shaking with laughter as the younger man deliberately touches his side where he knows he is ticklish. 

Right after Shen Yuan accidentally knees him in the stomach and Liu Qingge makes a noise that could be mistaken for a moan, Liu Mingyan decides to show up in the living room. They only notice her because of the empty bottle she drops on the floor, probably traumatized by what she thinks is her brother getting it on on the couch with his boyfriend. 

Liu Qingge immediately jumps off him, face redder than he has ever seen it. Shen Yuan stays lying on the couch, too embarrassed to get up and face the younger girl.

“Don’t mind me,” Liu Mingyan says, clearing her throat. “I was going to get more water.” Shen Yuan thinks she is going to leave after that and save them from more embarrassment but she’s apparently not done yet. “It would probably be better to continue that in your room,” she adds, before finally leaving them alone.

Neither of them speak for a few moments. Liu Qingge is standing on the other side of the couch, still blushing furiously. After Shen Yuan calms down a little, he gets up and immediately drags his friend to the bedroom, wanting to avoid facing Liu Mingyan again today.

He closes the door and goes to sit on the bed, taking a deep breath. He then turns and looks at Liu Qingge who is leaning against the door, looking out of it. Shen Yuan tries really hard to bury the thought of doing exactly what Liu Mingyan had suggested deep in his mind. This is his own fault for befriending the most beautiful man he’s ever met.

“Everything alright there, Qingge?’ he asks, trying to sound composed even though his heart is trying to escape from his chest.

“Hmm, yeah,” Liu Qingge replies, coming to sit next to him on the bed. Shen Yuan can’t help but move a little away from him, feeling like he is going to explode if he stays this close to him for a second longer. He immediately regrets it when he sees the hurt expression on his friend’s face afterwards.

“I’m sorry,” the younger man whispers, running his hands through his hair.

“Why are you apologizing again?” he questions. Shen Yuan decides to sacrifice his heart in order to move closer to his best friend again. He tries to make eye contact but Liu Qingge is avoiding his gaze, looking anywhere but him.

“I made you uncomfortable,” he mutters, sounding guilty for some reason.

“You didn’t. We were just playing and there was a misunderstanding. I was only a little embarrassed,” Shen Yuan tells him, still trying to catch his eyes.

“I did. You moved away from me just now. You never do that,” Liu Qingge insists. While it’s true that it was an unusual reaction for him considering how touchy he normally is with the younger whenever they are alone, it definitely wasn’t for the reason that the other thinks. It was more about not wanting to make Liu Qingge uncomfortable than being uncomfortable himself. Shen Yuan doesn’t know how he could explain that without exposing the thoughts he has been trying hard to suppress for a while now.

“It was because I was embarrassed,” he tries, hoping it sounds convincing. “Xiao-Liu, look at me,” he continues, reaching out to hold his face, turning it towards him. “I wouldn't lie about this. You could never make me uncomfortable.” Liu Qingge finally meets his eyes at that, looking a bit better.

“If I ever did anything to make you uncomfortable, you would tell me, right?” He sounds so vulnerable asking this that Shen Yuan barely resists the urge to fall into his arms and never move again.

“Of course. Not that you would ever do it.”

Shen Yuan is more afraid of crossing the line himself.

Chapter Text

Thursday, November 25

Shen Yuan hurries to reach Liu Qingge’s workplace, already regretting deciding not to wait for the bus and choosing to walk the last part of the way instead. Definitely not his wisest idea.

They have agreed on meeting today to go to the cinema and probably eat out afterwards. Shen Yuan insisted that Liu Qingge didn’t have to pick him up since the cinema is within walking distance from the gym and it would be more convenient for him to find the younger there instead.

Once he finally reaches his destination, he can barely stop himself from shivering. Thankfully, the inside at the building is warm enough that his body starts regaining a relatively normal temperature after he spends a few moments just standing in the entrance. 

Now that his hands don’t feel like they are going to fall off, he walks towards Liu Qingge’s office, expecting to see him there. He doesn’t really pay attention to his surroundings, everyone is used to seeing him there after all, until a certain conversation catches his attention, right before he tries to knock the closed door to his friend’s office.

“So I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime?” a young man asks, hope obvious in his voice. Shen Yuan hasn’t seen him before, he must be new here.

He wouldn’t normally eavesdrop private conversations of strangers, but this man isn’t addressing a random stranger, but /his/ best friend. You can’t blame him for being interested in his friend being asked out. It is definitely not a rare occurrence, considering that Liu Qingge looks like a model and everything, but Shen Yuan hadn’t experienced it recently. He’s not sure why he feels so bothered by it.

Shen Yuan decides not to interfere since this is none of his business anyway, but Liu Qingge seems to have noticed his presence and discreetly motions him to come closer so he has no choice but to go rescue his friend. They are both equally awkward with these kinds of situations anyway.

“I’m flattered,” Liu Qingge starts, turning to look at Shen Yuan obviously now. “But this is my boyfriend.” Shen Yuan has already reached his side by now so his friend gently wraps an arm around his waist. He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this, even with the other dude doing a poor job to hide his disappointment.

“Oh haha sorry, I didn’t know,” he says awkwardly. Shen Yuan feels only slightly bad now because he knows how it feels to be rejected. “Enjoy your date I guess.” The younger man disappears before either of them can reply. Shen Yuan almost wants to call him back to clarify that this is definitely not a date. 

Now that this awkward exchange is over, Liu Qingge tells him that he’s ready to go and silently leads him outside, his arms still secured around his waist. Shen Yuan doesn’t complain about it since it helps him warm up.

Once he’s sure that they have walked a safe distance from the gym, he turns around and disapprovingly looks at his friend.

“What? Are you the only one allowed to use that excuse?” Liu Qingge asks, letting go of him to fix his ponytail. Shen Yuan really wants to ask him to put his hand back where it belongs but that would definitely sound weird.

“Ahh whatever,” he says instead, burying his hands inside his pockets in order to save them from the cold. “I don’t have a problem with it. We can just tell people we are a couple to avoid these kinds of situations.”

“Sure,” Liu Qingge mumbles, not looking at him. 

Shen Yuan wants to scream and ask the Gods how his life ended up like this. He can’t even tell if this is normal or not anymore. Maybe he really should listen to Qi Qingqi and talk about this with her. He has been avoiding all kinds of conversations about his fake boyfriend after all.

After a few moments of walking in silence, Liu Qingge suddenly stops him from walking. 

“You are shivering,” he points out, eyebrows furrowed. Shen Yuan only now notices it himself. He had been overthinking and didn’t pay attention to the way his body has turned too cold again.

“Oh, it must be because I walked the last part of the way to the gym. It’s unusually cold tonight,” he tries to reassure him, rubbing his hands together in a futile effort to warm them up.

“You should have let me come pick you up,” Liu Qingge complains, reaching out to gently hold Shen Yuan’s hands in his, trying to warm them up himself with his body heat. “You’re freezing,” he adds, starting to rub his hands. The older of the two can’t help his chuckle at the way his friend is pouting, looking all cute and concerned.

“I can’t have you drive me around all the time Xiao-Liu. You’re not my uber,” he tells him gently, smiling at him. Even though he greatly appreciates his friend’s willingness to help him, he really doesn’t want to take advantage of his kindness and inconvenience him all the time.

“It’s no trouble for me. You know I’m happy to help,” Liu Qingge replies, moving a little closer. 

Before Shen Yuan has time to say anything, his friend seems to realize that they’ve been standing in the middle of the sidewalk holding hands while standing too close to each other for a while now and hesitantly lets go of him, taking a step back.

“Take this,” he says, unwrapping the scarf he wears to give it to him. When he sees Shen Yuan hesitating for a moment, he sighs and takes a step closer again, starting to wrap it around his neck himself. 

“You should keep it for yourself,” Shen Yuan says even though he makes no effort to stop him, enjoying the moment. Why does this feel so intimate?

“Don’t be stupid,” the younger tells him, frowing. Shen Yuan can’t help but reach out to poke him in the middle of his forehead, trying to get him to stop doing that. Liu Qingge tries to get away but he stops him, wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him close. 

“Let’s go, I don’t want to miss the movie.”

Shen Yuan really wishes he would get to experience this more often. He is willing to almost freeze to death again if it means getting to enjoy the feeling of walking this close to Liu Qingge while burying his face in a scarf that smells just like him again.

The movie they choose to watch ends up being boring. They spend most of the time sitting close to each other, trying to make fun of the stupid plot as quietly as possible. They only get one snarky comment from a grandma about how couples can't keep their hands to themselves to which Shen Yuan maturely reacts by sliding even closer to Liu Qingge and dropping his head on his shoulder. His friend doesn't stop him.

“We should have gone to watch the movie that I suggested,” the younger man whispers, leaning on him too.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. I really thought this was going to be good. I’ll let you pick next time,” Shen Yuan promises him. Even if the movie is bad he really can’t regret coming here and spending time with Liu Qingge.

Well, he kind of regrets it after the movie is over and they come face to face with Mu Dongmei and some guy he doesn’t know while they are trying to exit the hall. 

“Ahh I didn’t expect to see you here guys!” she says enthusiastically. Shen Yuan wishes he could share her joy. At least Liu Qingge was already holding his hand. You know, so they wouldn't get seperated in the crowd of people.

Shen Yuan is familiar enough with her to know that she’s a nice person but he really thinks she can’t read the mood sometimes. Even after his less than enthusiastic greeting, Mu Dongmei doesn’t seem bothered at all, immediately introducing her new boyfriend to them and asking how they have been doing. That’s probably his fault for limiting their interactions at work to the bare minimum. Just because he walks a little faster in the corridors nowadays it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is avoiding her.

“We should totally go on a double date sometime!” she tells them as they finally leave the building, her boyfriend nodding next to her.

…

Shen Yuan did remember her saying that back then but he had wished she didn’t actually mean it. If he’s lucky maybe she’ll break up with her boyfriend soon enough so they will never get the chance. He doesn’t want to be mean but he sure doesn’t want to force his friend into going on a pretend date with him. It’s true that they have lied about being a couple a few times already but they never had to act for more than a few minutes.

In the end, none of them can find a polite way to say no so they agree on a day, about two weeks from now, to go on that dreaded double date. Shen Yuan has already started thinking of possible excuses once they are left alone. At least Liu Qingge doesn’t seem that bothered.

“We are both really bad at this,” the younger man comments casually, probably referring to their inability to stop this fake dating lie from escalating. 

“Yeah, I really don’t know how we could possibly end this at this point,” he replies, chuckling a little to himself. This situation has seriously gotten ridiculous.

“We don’t have to,” Liu Qingge says, surprising him. “I mean… I’ve already said that I don’t mind… If you really want to, we can fake a breakup or something though,” he mumbles, looking away. Shen Yuan considers it for a moment but decides that a fake breakup sounds even more ridiculous than a fake relationship. It’s not like he actually minds letting this go on anyway.

“Hmm, we are fine for now. It’s convenient,” he tells him, starting to drag him down the street. 

Liu Qingge doesn’t say anything until they reach their favourite noodle shop a few blocks away. Shen Yuan worries a little that he may have said something wrong, but the younger hasn’t made an effort to let go of his hand, so this should be a good sign.

Thankfully, once they sit down and order, conversation comes easy to them again. Shen Yuan should seriously stop overthinking so much everything. His brother tells him that this is his worst habit but it’s hard to break, especially right now that he is kind of confused about how he feels.

Liu Qingge and him have always been close. Well, they did have a rough beginning when Yue Qingyuan first introduced him to his brother and him, mostly because the younger was still going through his angsty young adult phase, but once they actually got to know each other, they clicked.

Shen Jiu had been really vocal about his disapproval of him back then just because of a misunderstanding, and although these two still didn’t seem to like each other, they are at least civil now. 

It’s true that people often make comments about them being too close for just friends, especially Qi Qingqi who straight up asked them at some point if they’re fucking, but Shen Yuan never really payed them any mind.

Until this fake dating thing started.

Now he spends almost every moment they are together overanalyzing what they do and how it may seem to others. It’s easier when it’s just the two of them, the younger’s presence distracting him from his thoughts, but if they are in front of other people, he can’t help but overthink.

Shen Yuan has really tried to convince himself that there’s nothing unusual with their relationship, but it’s getting harder to ignore. It really doesn’t help that Liu Qingge is always so nice to him or that he sometimes says stuff that Shen Yuan doesn’t know how to interpret. Does the younger know what he does to him? 

Liu Qingge is always honest with him and doesn’t keep secrets so Shen Yuan crosses the thought of the younger having feelings for him out of his mind. It’s too good to be true anyway. Not that Shen Yuan would be interested, he tries to convince himself. He can rationalize all this with Liu Qingge being too pretty to resist. You can’t blame him for considering it for a moment or two.

When Liu Qingge drops him off at his apartment, Shen Yuan immediately texts Shang Qinghua. He first thought about talking with Qi Qingqi about this because she’s definitely better at giving advice, but he feels kind of awkward discussing his feelings for Liu Qingge with her since she’s his friend too. Shang Qinghua is the only other option.

[I think I have a problem], he sends, getting comfortable on his couch. He really hopes his friend isn’t too busy fucking his boyfriend to respond.

[you always have a problem], is Shang Qinghua’s response a few minutes later. Shen Yuan is ready to start complaining when he receives another text.

[is this about your “““fake””” boyfriend]

…

That was a bit too fast. It may be true that Liu Qingge is one of the main things that Shen Yuan texts Shang Qinghua about lately, but that’s only because this pretend relationship is the only interesting thing that has happened to him this year.

He takes a deep breath and decides to ignore his friend teasing in favor of explaining to him what happened today and highlighting how confused he feels. He should have known that Shang Qinghua really wasn’t the right person to talk about this with.

[suck his dick and all your problems will be solved🤪] 

[it worked for me😝] 

...

Shen Yuan starts typing a paragraph about how he really doesn’t care about how he and his mafia boss got together and to shut the fuck up because he has heard about this too many times but Shang Qinghua surprises him with another text.

[okay on a more serious note… just tell him you like him, we all know he likes you back]

Shen Yuan pauses and just stares at the text. First of all, he never said that he likes Liu Qingge, right? He goes back to reread what he sent earlier, and things suddenly start making a little sense. Maybe that part about how ‘He looked so pretty, I kind of wanted to kiss him’ does sound a bit gay… 

Well, even if he accepts that his feelings for his friend may not be entirely platonic, he’s sure that Liu Qingge doesn’t feel the same. It just doesn’t seem possible. 

[stop overthinking it bro]

[your brain will explode]

Shang Qinghua sends after a few minutes of not getting a response. 

Shen Yuan, for the first time in a while, doesn’t feel like fighting back.

Chapter Text

Sunday, December 12th

Shen Yuan has, at this point, come to terms with the fact that he kind of likes his friend in a… non platonic way.

He initially wanted to spend more time with him and maybe figure out what this actually means, but he just had to have this realization around the time he is the busiest at work, so apart from a few car rides here and there, they didn’t get the chance to see each other much. At least work distracted him from overthinking too much.

He really wishes that the first time they are hanging together in a while wouldn’t be the double date they agreed on with Mu Dongmei, but of course it is. He’s just /that/ lucky.

Shen Yuan has only been on one double date before back in college, which was, to say the least, an awful experience. He wasn’t even really that into the girl he was dating at the time but still said yes when she asked him to go on a double date with her two friends that were a couple. Shen Yuan had to sit there and watch those two be passive aggressive with each other one moment and then attempt to eat each other’s faces the next, all while his girlfriend was ignoring him in favor of being on her phone. Truly a magnificent night.

He may know that he won’t get ignored by his ‘date’ tonight, but they will still have to pretend to be a couple for a few hours in front of Mu Dongmei and her boyfriend whose name Shen Yuan doesn’t even remember. 

The thought of finding an excuse and cancelling the date did cross his mind, but Mu Qingfang’s sister would probably immediately try to reschedule it to another time so it’s really not worth it to try. If she asks about a second one, he’ll just keep saying he is busy until she gets the message.

Liu Qingge comes to pick him up half an hour before their date. Shen Yuan is already waiting for him outside his apartment building, trying to convince himself to just act normal since this really isn’t the right time to test anything. There are more important things that they have to discuss right now anyway.

“We have to think of an origin story,” he announces as Liu Qingge starts the car. His friend turns to look at him in confusion. Shen Yuan could probably have worded this better. This is probably Shang Qinghua’s influence.

“I mean, we need a story of how our relationship started in case they ask us,” he clarifies. It’s a little weird to talk about this but Shen Yuan wants to be sure that they won’t fuck this up completely. Mu Dongmei is the whole reason that this whole mess started anyway.

“Are they going to interrogate us?” Liu Qingge asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Probably not but we need to be ready just to be safe!” This may be just him stressing about this for no reason, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?

“Alright, alright. What do we need to decide on?” his friend questions, patient with his antics as usual.

“First of all, when did we get together.” Shen Yuan tries to say this as casually as possible even if he wants to throw himself out of the car.

Liu Qingge seems to think about this seriously for a moment before he says, “Let’s just say that we hook up after the new year’s party.”

Shen Yuan is really close to starting to scream. He remembers that party all too well even if it was almost one year ago. Well, a big part of it is kind of a blur because he did get drunk, but he clearly remembers Liu Qingge and him almost kissing at some point. He had blamed it on the alcohol then, but now that he thinks about it, maybe there was something more there on his part.

Thinking about all that, Shen Yuan shakes his head no. “I don’t think that if we ever got together it would happen like that.” While it doesn’t sound impossible, Shen Yuan wouldn’t be willing to risk one of the most important relationships in his life just like that.

“You’re right,” Liu Qingge responds almost immediately, sounding serious. “Let’s say that I confessed to you and then we kissed,” he continues, pursing his lips. “The relationship happened naturally after that.”

Shen Yuan stays silent for a minute, contemplating it. It sounds like a good enough explanation but he feels guilty for some reason for having to lie like this. He has trouble admitting it to himself but he just wishes it was the truth. Maybe there’s an alternate universe out there in which something like this is possible.

“Okay, let’s go with that,” he says, trying (and probably failing) to seem relaxed.

There aren’t really that many things that they need to agree on, so after a few minutes of clarifying some more details, they decide to improvise in case something else comes up in the conversation. They have known each other for a long time now so it shouldn't be too hard.

The restaurant that Mu Dongmei suggested they eat isn’t incredibly fancy, but they still had to dress up a little. Shen Yuan isn’t really used to being in places like this. His family struggled financially while growing up, and even now that he’s doing okay, he still doesn’t prefer to eat in fancy places. Liu Qingge is definitely more used to them since he comes from a rich family, but the younger doesn’t care about most things that rich people usually care about. 

Mu Dongmei and her boyfriend are already seated next to each other at a table for four when Liu Qingge and Shen Yuan enter the restaurant so they have no choice but to sit next to each other too. It probably makes sense since this is supposed to be a double date and everything. Shen Yuan does feel a bit relaxed that he can have his friend this close to him.

After some pleasantries and meaningless small talk, Mu Dongmei goes straight to business and asks them how they met. It’s true that she already knows about them being friends for years through her brother, but she doesn’t know the details.

“Funny story actually,” Shen Yuan starts, only slightly embarrassed to share it. “Qingge is Yue Qingyuan’s younger cousin so when he moved here for university Qi-ge decided to introduce him to my twin brother, his boyfriend, because he wanted him to make friends since he’s a bit awkward.” He earns a kick under the table from said awkward man for that.

“Qi-ge had failed to mention that his boyfriend had a twin brother so a few days later when he saw me and my then girlfriend on a date he assumed that A-Jiu was cheating on him. So he decided to confront my brother about it the next day that they had agreed on meeting the three of them. 

“Well, I wasn’t there but I heard a lot of shouting happened. A-Jiu gets offended easily so when Qi-ge didn’t immediately believe that it was a misunderstanding he got angry and insulted Qingge for getting involved in things that are none of his business.”

“He didn’t just insult me, he punched me too,” Liu Qingge interrupts him, pouting slightly. Shen Yuan laughs a little at that since he knows that his brother isn’t really that strong. Both of them were never particularly athletic so Shen Jiu punching a martial arts freak was definitely him challenging his fate.

“Well, yeah, and then you punched him too,” he replies, nudging him with his shoulder. “He still complains about that to me you know.” His brother definitely doesn’t forget his grudges.

“Well, anyway, the misunderstanding ended when I actually showed up at the scene and Qingge realized that there’s two of us,” Shen Yuan continues his story. “He didn’t really want to do anything with both of us for a while but we ended up hanging out together at Qi-ge’s birthday party that year and after that we became friends.” There were definitely more ups and downs in their story but he decides to save them both of the embarrassment and doesn’t share anything else.

Both Mu Dongmei and her boyfriend find the story really entertaining, now seeming even more interested in their personal life. “So how did you two get together then?” the boyfriend asks. Shen Yuan can now see how these two ended up dating.

Liu Qingge is the one who takes the initiative to talk now. “It happened at the new year’s party back in January,” he starts.

“Oh I did think I saw you two having a moment there!” Mu Dongmei comments, leaning forwards in her seat. Shen Yuan considers the pros and cons of getting up to leave right now. Don’t expose him like that!

“Hm, yeah we…” the younger man tries to continue. Shen Yuan is ready to take over the role of the storyteller since his friend has always been bad with lying, but Liu Qingge seems to find his words quickly enough.

“I was really tired of hiding my feelings so I decided to confess.” He is attempting to fix his already perfect ponytail as he’s saying this, his ears turning a little red. “We ended up making out in my car for a while.”

Shen Yuan is sure that his own ears, and probably his whole face too, have turned suspiciously red by now.

That night, Liu Qingge was definitely too drunk to drive but asked him to leave the party to go with him to the car without explaining why. When they got there, the younger didn’t actually say or do anything for a few moments, making tipsy Shen Yuan worried that he was upset about something.

After a few minutes of trying to get him to talk, Liu Qingge just hugged him and asked to stay there for a while. He had never been an emotional drunk but Shen Yuan thought that there’s a first time for everything and just held him there for several minutes, playing with his hair. 

The thought of something else happening that night…

“We officially got together a while later,” Liu Qingge’s voice brings him back to the present. Shen Yuan isn’t entirely sure that he didn’t miss any part of the story but it’s not like he can ask his friend to repeat himself.

“Yeah, and here we are now,” Shen Yuan adds, doing his best attempt at a loving smile. Liu Qingge rests his hand on his thigh under the table.

“Ahh I’m glad, you two look so cute together,” Mu Dongmei tells them, seeming genuinely happy about them. Even the boyfriend who barely knows them appears to agree with her. Shen Yuan prays to whatever Gods are out there to forgive him for deceiving them like this. Both of them seem like nice people.

“Thank you,” he tells them, putting his hand on top of Liu Qingge’s on his thigh. His ‘date’ makes a sound of agreement and gently turns his hand around to hold Shen Yuan’s own.

Even in this moment of distress, just holding Liu Qingge’s hand makes him feel significantly better. He takes a deep breath and finally uses his bullshiting techniques to turn the conversation around.

“So, how did /you/ two meet?” Shen Yuan asks the couple across from them. He squeezes Liu Qingge’s hand in what he hopes is reassurement.

Thankfully, after that, the conversation doesn’t head into dangerous territory again. Shen Yuan is actually able to enjoy both the company and the food. Mu Dongmei doesn’t ever question the legitimacy of their relationship so both him and Liu Qingge relax enough to stop trying to put on an act.

“We should do this again sometime!” Mu Dongmei tells them when they are saying goodbye to each other.

“Haha, maybe next year,” Shen Yuan says jokingly even though his mind has already started thinking of possible excuses. You can never be too ready.

When they are finally left alone in the parking lot, Liu Qingge still has his arm wrapped around his waist. They exchange a tired glance, both of them sighing at the same time. Shen Yuan gives his friend a relieved smile, glad that this double date is finally over.

“Will you stay over my place tonight?” Liu Qingge asks, turning to face him, not letting go of him, adding a second hand on his waist. “I know it’s your day off tomorrow and we haven’t hung out in a while. I’ve missed you.”

Shen Yuan’s breath catches in his throat, suddenly a bit overwhelmed by this situation. 

“Or, I can just drive you home?” Liu Qingge says then, probably mistaking the reason for his hesitation.

“No, no, I’ll stay over,” Shen Yuan declares, pushing himself to recover. Even if he is currently going through a crisis, he really did miss his best friend too and wants to spend time with him.

“Alright, let’s go then,” the younger man replies even though he makes no attempt to move. Shen Yuan hums but doesn’t move either, enjoying the feeling of being held by Liu Qingge like this. They’ve probably been standing in this parking lot a little too long.

After a few moments of just staring at each other, before thinking about it too much, Shen Yuan takes a step forward and gives him a brief kiss on the cheek, right under his lovely beauty mark. 

“Come on, come on,” he says, taking hold of his hand and dragging him towards the car. He doesn’t dare to look back at his friend’s expression, sure that his own face must be as red as a tomato. 

Liu Qingge doesn’t say anything until they get into the car. Shen Yuan finally turns to look at him properly while putting on his seatbelt. It’s a bit dark so he concludes that the blush he thinks he can see on the other’s face is just his wishful thinking. 

“You can’t just do that,” the younger mumbles. 

Shen Yuan isn’t sure if he was meant to hear this but he still asks, “Do what?”

Liu Qingge abruptly turns to face him, his gaze intense. He doesn’t elaborate on what he was talking about before leaning in and giving Shen Yuan a quick kiss on his cheek. He then has the audacity to turn back around, put on his own seatbelt and start driving like he didn’t just make Shen Yuan’s heart and mind explode. 

This is going to be fun...

Chapter Text

Saturday, December 25th

Christmas arrives faster than Shen Yuan realizes; being busy with work sure helped with that.

Okay, if he is being honest with himself, he hasn’t been nearly as busy as he told people he is. There’s a high possibility that he has been avoiding his friends for another reason. A reason that has the most beautiful face he has ever seen and an even more beautiful personality. 

After that double date that initially seemed like it went as well as it could possibly go, things started becoming weird. Well, Liu Qingge didn’t exactly do anything out of the ordinary, the weird things are mostly happening inside Shen Yuan’s head. 

While the realization of liking his friend is old news already, his plan of avoiding the feelings until they go away doesn’t seem to work. That’s probably because he began to realize that these feelings didn’t just recently show up there, and they are… definitely not as superficial as he initially thought they were.

Being this close with Liu Qingge is something that has come naturally to him for quite a few years now. He already knew that he loved his friend for all that he is and all that they’ve gone through together, but he must have missed the moment that his feelings turned to this. He can’t possibly pinpoint the exact moment, or even period, that this change happened. 

All that he knows now is that he is really really in love with his best friend and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

So of course the first thing that he thought about is avoiding everyone who could possibly talk to him about this. That includes his brother, Qi Qingqi, Shang Qinghua and even the man himself. Can you really blame him for this? He had hoped that he wouldn’t be obvious enough for them to realize, but between Qi Qingqi’s irritated voice messages about stupid best friends and Shen Jiu’s passive aggresive sticky notes about ungrateful brothers that should buy milk, he should definitely stop hoping.

Liu Qingge is the only one who has been surprisingly quiet about this. While it’s not exactly out of the ordinary for Shen Yuan to close himself off every time he has a problem he doesn’t know how to handle, his best friend is usually the one who reaches out to him first. That’s how things always worked between them.

The noon after the double date is the last time Shen Yuan saw the younger. Nothing weird really happened apart from some awkward moments after they woke up cuddling in bed that morning. It was not the first time that something like this happened since Liu Qingge surprisingly likes to hug things when he sleeps and accidents like this had occurred before, but Shen Yuan wasn’t able to laugh it off like usual that time. Was his reaction so off that his friend realized something?

While Shen Yuan would love to spend the whole day on his couch overthinking everything, his brother has decided to drag him to Yue Qingyuan’s Christmas party once again. They haven’t even gotten back together yet but they were still invented for some reason.

“Did you get into a fight with your stupid boyfriend?” Shen Jiu asks while Shen Yuan is making a show of looking unwilling while they are getting ready to leave.

“No?” he answers, begrudgingly putting on his coat.

“Then why don’t you wanna come? He’s unfortunately going to be there,” his brother says, opening the door and waiting for him to walk out so that he can lock.

Shen Yuan pauses in his movements, earning an exasperated look from Shen Jiu for possibly causing them to be late. He had totally forgotten about having to act like a couple in front of everyone with the person he realized he is in love with. This doesn’t sound like it’s gonna be fun.

Yue Qingyuan’s house could probably be considered a mansion. Shen Yuan remembers feeling very intimidated when he was first invited over to even walk around. He’s much more used to it now but it still feels weird to freely move around such a huge place. No wonder Shen Jiu spends most of his time here when they are dating.

When they enter the house, Shen Yuan is saved from the awkward interaction between the two not-boyfriends-but-not-quite-exes by Qi Qingqi abducting him and leading him to the kitchen, away from all the noise of the party. 

“Spill,” she orders, making him sit down on one of the stools by the counter, taking a seat next to him. Okay, maybe watching his brother and Yue Qingyuan pretend they don’t love each other would be better.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he tries. It’s probably only a matter of time for her to force him to say it but he can still hope.

“Yuan-er,” she starts, looking at him judgingly. “Tell me why both you and Qingge have been acting weird lately.”

Shen Yuan takes a deep breath, burying his face in his hands. 

“I fucked up,” he mumbles, not daring to look at her.

“What did you do?” Qi Qingqi asks. The lack of hesitation in her voice is honestly a little insulting.

“I’m in love with him,” Shen Yuan whispers. It feels a little freeing to say it out loud but he is still scared.

“Finally,” his friend sighs. He can hear her getting up from her seat but he doesn’t move or try to uncover his face. It’s good that he chose to wear contacts instead of his glasses today. 

A minute later someone places what sounds like a glass in front of him and nudges his back. Shen Yuan hesitantly lowers his hands. A drink is waiting for him on the counter.

“Here,” Qi Qingqi says calmly, sitting next to him again. “Drink this and tell me what happened.”

Shen Yuan takes several deep breaths and then gives her a small summary of this whole mess, pointing out that he really wasn’t aware of his feelings when he first started it. His drink disappears before he realizes it.

“Well, you’re stupid because Qingge definitely li—”

Before Qi Qingqi can finish her sentence, someone walks in the room and tiptoes to drape his arms over both of their shoulders. 

“Here you are guys! Didn’t you miss me?” 

There’s only one person who could possibly have such awful timing.

“Qinghua…”

Shang Qinghua thinks that it’s unacceptable for them to spend the Christmas party talking in the kitchen so he drags them to the living room where the party is happening. Qi Qingqi tells him that it’s probably better for them to talk about this another time and that they should try enjoying themselves today since they don’t really get the chance to do things like this anymore.

Liu Qingge arrives after some time, hesitantly joining whatever drinking game Shang Qinghua has forced them to play. Honestly, Shen Yuan hasn’t understood what’s going on because his idiot friend interrupted his explanation of the rules at least twice in order to make out with his boyfriend. He can’t blame him too much because Mo Bingwen does look pretty distracting.

After several rounds of Shen Yuan losing and being forced to drink shots of something he can’t identify, Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi drag him to the balcony, claiming that they don’t wanna see him pass out again.

Shen Yuan just sits there for a while, not really paying attention to whatever his friends are saying until Qi Qingqi addresses him.

“Did your brother and Qingyuan get back together?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. Their relationship adventures are known to everybody at this point.

“No, they still haven’t—”

“Are you sure?” Qi Qingqi interrupts him, pointing at Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan passionately making out in one of the couches in the living room. 

“...”

“Looks like they made up,” Shen Yuan mutters. 

Well, that’s one less headache for him since he won’t have to listen to his brother complain about Yue Qingyuan anymore. Until they inevitably break up again. It took them more than usual to get back together this time so hopefully they will be okay for several months according to his calculations. 

Now he is the only twin who is single again...

“I think I’m gonna go inside again,” Shen Yuan tells his two friends, disappearing into the house before they can argue. He quickly finds Shang Qinghua, hoping that he will keep him distracted before he does anything stupid.

Shen Yuan spends the rest of the night away from Liu Qingge, actually getting distracted. He doesn’t really drink that much, but enough to be tipsy by the time that the party starts slowly dying out. He only leaves Shang Qinghua’s side the moment that the smaller man climbs into Mo Bingwen’s lap, looking like he is going to devour him. He doesn’t wanna see that, okay.

He finds Liu Qingge sitting on a couch alone in the corner of the room and decides to join him, feeling brave.

“Xiao-Liu!” he exclaims, throwing himself on him. Maybe he is more drunk than he thought.

“What are you doing?” Liu Qingge asks, sounding a little upset. 

Shen Yuan pulls back to look at him, narrowing his eyes. Why is his friend pouting?

“What do you mean?” he asks, cupping his cheek with one of his hands. His skin is so soft.

Liu Qingge gives him a pointed look before saying, “You- you left me alone…”

Shen Yuan just stares at him, fascinated by how the cheek under his hand starts turning warmer the more he looks at him.

“Stop that,” Liu Qingge tells him, trying to move away. Shen Yuan lets him but he still can’t stop staring at him. He looks so beautiful tonight.

“Will you just continue to stare at me?” his friend talks again. He is blushing more than Shen Yuan has ever seen him. 

“You are so pretty, I look at you and I can’t get enough,” he says before he can’t stop himself.

“You don’t have to,” Liu Qingge whispers, somehow looking even more red now.

“Huh?” Shen Yuan isn’t sure what his best friend means by that but he moves a little closer to him on the couch. 

“You don’t have to get enough of me.” Liu Qingge’s voice is soft, almost sounding vulnerable. “You can take all you want. I’m all yours to take.”

Shen Yuan’s heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest. He takes one more look at Liu Qingge’s flustered face, gazing at him so defenselessly, and leans in.

The moment their lips touch, Shen Yuan is certain that he is going to explode. He becomes even more sure of it when the younger man wraps his arms around his neck and kisses him back, more passionately than Shen Yuan would ever anticipate.

He gets lost in the feeling of their lips moving against each other, still not daring to deepen the kiss more until Liu Qingge unexpectedly bites on his lower lip, making him open his mouth, probably producing some embarrassing sound.

After that, everything is a daze. Shen Yuan truly loses control of himself, only able to focus on the lips pressed against his and the hands moving up and down his body. He isn’t sure what he is doing with his own hands, putting them in whatever body part is near him; everything he touches is dangerously warm.

“Get a room you two!”

“I really didn’t wanna see that.”

“GET IT, BRO!”

Random voices from people who Shen Yuan can’t identify right now bring him back to reality. 

Liu Qingge senses him freeze and stops kissing him, moving back a little. His face is still too close to his, looking ethereal as he’s slowly blinking, trying to regain his normal breathing.

“Get up you two, we’re leaving,” Shen Jiu says then. Shen Yuan didn’t even realize that someone had gotten this close to them. He quickly detaches himself from Liu Qingge and starts following his brother who has already started walking towards the door.

“Where’s your stupid boyfriend? Qi-ge made me promise that I would drive him home since he got himself drunk,” Shen Jiu tells him when he notices that the younger man didn’t follow them. “Go grab him.”

Shen Yuan has no choice but to go do that even though he wants to run away and never have to face him again. Of course Liu Qingge is drunk. Why would he kiss him otherwise? Does it count as Shen Yuan taking advantage of him even though he feels drunk himself? 

Liu Qingge hasn’t moved at all. He’s still sitting at the same spot, staring at his hands. Shen Yuan can’t really see what his face looks like.

“Qingge,” he says, patting his shoulder to get his attention. “My brother will drive you home, come on.”

This seems to be enough to break Liu Qingge from whatever daze he was in. He gets up and starts following him. Shen Yuan doesn’t really dare to look at him more than necessary, speeding through the people to quickly reach the front door.

Several minutes later, inside Shen Jiu’s car with Shen Yuan sitting in the passenger seat and Liu Qingge sitting in the back, Shen Jiu decides to speak.

“What’s up with you two? Problem in paradise?” he asks, giving Shen Yuan a quick glance.

Shen Yuan can’t do this anymore. He can’t keep lying to everyone like this. All he manages by continuing to lie is to make even more mistakes.

“We’re not dating,” he unceremoniously announces, looking out of the window.

“What? You broke up? Just now, weren’t you two…” 

His brother sounds confused. Shen Yuan can’t really blame him.

“We were never dating. It was all a lie. It’s… not like that between us.”

Liu Qingge doesn’t make a single sound while he’s talking.

“What the fuck are you saying?! Did you lie to me?!” 

Shen Jiu looks justifiably angry. Shen Yuan feels even worse than before. His twin brother may be a difficult person to deal with but they’ve always been close. He has never lied to him about something this big before. How many people did he end up hurting just because he couldn't properly reject someone?

At least Shen Jiu relaxes a little after Shen Yuan gives him a brief explanation, the best he can produce at his state. 

“That’s a relief,” Shen Jiu says, stopping the car outside Liu Qingge’s apartment building. “I was secretly hoping that this relationship wasn’t going to last. Who wants Liu Qingge as a brother-in-law?”

Shen Yuan gives a weak laugh at that. He turns back to look at Liu Qingge for the first time in a while. The younger man is mechanically unbuckling his seatbelt, looking like he hasn’t been paying attention to their conversation at all. Shen Yuan concludes that he must still be drunk.

When he offers to walk him to the door in case he falls, Liu Qingge quickly turns him down and disappears inside his building without even saying goodnight. If Shen Yuan was a little more sober maybe he would realize that there was something really off about the situation.

Chapter Text

Saturday, December 26h

Shen Yuan wakes up around noon with an awful headache. He’s once again regretting the decisions that led him to this point. Starting with going to Mu Qingfang’s birthday party last month and ending with deciding to drink last night even though he has a low alcohol tolerance.

The worst thing is that he clearly remembers everything that happened the previous night. How can he possibly get the feeling of kissing Liu Qingge out of his mind? This memory is probably going to haunt him forever.

Shen Yuan gets out of bed and, after a short visit to the bathroom, heads to the kitchen. He really can’t stomach anything right now but he definitely needs some water. Will painkillers also take away his guilt apart from the headache?

“So you’re not dead,” Shen Jiu declares when he walks into the kitchen, casually sipping his coffee.

“Why are you here? I thought you would go back to your boyfriend’s house,” Shen Yuan says, already dreading whatever conversation is going to follow. He was sure that his brother would want to make up for lost time after getting together with Yue Qingyuan and wouldn’t be home.

“And leave you here to keep making awful decisions without me?” Shen Jiu tells him, leaving an exasperated sigh.

“Look, if you want to bitch about me lying to you please do it when I’m not dying from a headache,” he tries, not having the energy to handle his brother’s scolding right now. Maybe he should have stayed in bed.

“I will do that at some point, thank you very much. But I have another thing to talk about with you today.” Shen Jiu gestures for him to take a seat on the table across from him. Shen Yuan reluctantly sits and waits for his trial.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” his brother starts, letting out a dramatic sign. “But you should apologize to your stupid not-boyfriend and then maybe suck his dick too for good measure.”

Shen Yuan looks at him in confusion. Does he mean he should apologize for kissing the younger man while he was drunk? What the fuck was the last part?

“Stop looking at me like an idiot,” Shen Jiu continues, rolling his eyes. “Please tell me you’re not actually stupid enough to not realize that he’s in love with you…”

“...” 

After Shen Yuan spends several seconds staring at his brother blankly, Shen Jiu grunts, “Of course you are, why am I asking.”

“...”

“Can you elaborate please?” Shen Yuan asks after recovering some brainpower.

“On why you’re stupid?” Shen Jiu questions unhelpfully. He gets a coaster thrown at him for that.

“Okay, okay, I’ll explain,” his brother says, finally seeming to pity him.

“First of all, it’s universal knowledge that Liu Qingge has been in love with you for years. Probably since you guys first started getting closer. Now, before you start with boohoo he had boyfriends or whatever, just consider that he probably didn’t think he had a chance and dated other people. I don’t even remember him ever having a serious relationship anyway.”

Shen Yuan considers his brother’s words for a moment but it still doesn’t make sense. Why would Liu Qingge never tell him if he had feelings for him? How could he never realize it if that was the case?

“I personally also think that you’ve been in love with him for about the same amount of time,” Shen Jiu continues. “Qi-ge and I have discussed it a lot of times and were waiting for you to finally realize it, that’s why I wasn’t that surprised when you told me. Only mildly annoyed that I lost the bet because I had betted on you not realizing it until next year.”

“You betted on your own brother?” Shen Yuan asks, offended. He can’t say that he’s too surprised.

“I did. Anyway, that’s not important right now. You know I don’t like Qingge but you obviously love him so just get your shit together and go apologize,” his brother says, looking tired with this whole thing. It’s definitely very unusual for him to encourage Shen Yuan to do something like that.

“Well,” Shen Yuan starts, thinking about it. “While I do admit that I… may have feelings for him, we can’t be sure that he feels the same…” 

“You two would probably have had sex on Qi-ge’s couch yesterday if we had let you there for a few more minutes,” Shen Jiu deadpans. 

“That was— that wasn’t—”

“Don’t even try, I saw it with my own eyes. And believe me, I really didn’t want to see Liu Qingge attempting to eat your face,” his brother interrupts whatever excuse he would come up with.

“Yeah, okay, but we were both drunk…” he tries, earning another eye roll from Shen Jiu.

“You definitely weren’t drunk enough to not control your actions and neither was Qingge. I saw him a little before you went into the same room as him and he was just sitting on the couch, moping around.

“And also, that man never loses a chance to antagonize me and we literally had a whole conversation in the car where I insulted him several times and he never said anything. Do you need more proof?” 

Shen Jiu seems to finally have ended his speech. Shen Yuan really can’t deny anything that his brother said but he still has a hard time believing that Liu Qingge could possibly love him back. And if that’s really the case… then Shen Yuan probably broke his heart last night…

“I have to go,” he announces, getting up immediately. He almost knocks down his chair in his hurry. 

“Calm down loverboy, where are you going like this?” Shen Jiu points out. Shen Yuan looks down on himself. He’s still wearing his pajamas and he probably looks sleep deprived but it doesn’t really matter. 

If there’s even a tiny chance that Liu Qingge loves him and that Shen Yuan hurt him, he can’t possibly not try to fix this immediately. He’ll risk getting his own hurt broken by a rejection than possibly letting his best friend think that he doesn’t love him back.

His brother looks at the determined look at his face and says, “Okay, go get ready, I’ll drive you there. And then I’ll go to Qi-ge’s place and not show up here for at least a week so you better not fuck this up again.” 

Shen Yuan is sure that his brother is going to use this one good deed he did for him as an excuse to get him to agree to things for their rest of their lives but he couldn't care less right now.

Shen Yuan is breathless when he reaches Liu Qingge’s apartement even though he came here by car and used the elevator. His adrenaline is so high that he feels like he ran all the way here. The few moments that he waits for his friend to open the door feel like an eternity. 

“What are you doing here?” is the first thing that Liu Qingge says when he opens the door. He looks like he just got up from bed, his hair down instead of being in his usual ponytail, but Shen Yuan still thinks that he is the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

“I…” he tries to start but realizes that he has no idea what to say. This is the moment in romantic movies where he should dramatically confess his undying love to his love interest before they even more dramatically kiss, but Shen Yuan just stands frozen on Liu Qingge’s doorstep.

His friend looks at him expectedly and then sighs, rubbing his forehead. “Just come in,” he says, moving aside.

Liu Qingge leads him to the living room and gestures to him to sit on the couch. Shen Yuan feels weird even though this is the same couch where they have sat together countless times. They’ve played games and watched stupid TV shows, they’ve wrestled and even cuddled here. The thought of ruining their friendship on that very couch somehow makes Shen Yuan realize the risks of his decision to confess.

But he can’t back out now. 

He knows Liu Qingge. If Shen Yuan doesn’t say anything right now and his friend does have feelings for him, he’ll probably just try to handle this by himself and never even confront Shen Yuan for unknowingly taking advantage of his feelings or breaking his heart.

He really has to say something.

“If you don’t like me like that, you don’t have to force yourself,” Liu Qingge breaks the silence. Shen Yuan looks at him in confusion before the meaning of his words register to him.

“I’m in love with you,” he blurts out without hesitation now. If Liu Qingge thinks otherwise for one more minute he will never forgive himself.

“It’s true,” Shen Yuan continues when he notices his friend looking at him in disbelief. 

“I’m not sure when it started but I promise I hadn’t realized your feelings or mine when I first lied about us dating back in Mu Qingfang’s party. I mean, even right now I’m still in disbelief that you could possibly feel the same but—”

“I do,” Liu Qingge interrupts his rant, moving closer to him on the couch. “I swear Yuan-er, I’ve always… god, you know I’m bad with words but I swear I love you so much, I feel like I’m going to explode right now if you don’t kiss me—”

Shen Yuan is the one who interrupts him this time, leaning in and pressing their lips together. 

He quickly realizes that he could never be the protagonist of a romcom because he accidentally uses too much force and manages to stab himself with his glasses. That hurt both his forehead and his confidence.

“No need to rush so much,” Liu Qingge laughs, reaching out to take off his glasses for him, putting them on the coffee table. Shen Yuan isn’t sure what to do with himself after this failed attempt, covering his face with his hands. He's seriously considering moving to a different country, possibly different continent too? That sounds like a good plan.

“A’Yuan,” Liu Qingge says then. “Relax, it’s just me.”

This tone of voice is very familiar. It’s the same one that his best friend has used for him many times in the past whenever he was upset about something. Shen Yuan can now recognize clearly the love and affection in it. The sheer feeling of safeness that floods him makes him lower his hands. Liu Qingge gives him a soft smile and then leans in and kisses the spot on his forehead that is still a bit red.

“Can we try again?” Shen Yuan asks shyly when Liu Qingge pulls back. 

“Of course,” the younger man nods, barely containing his amused smile. Shen Yuan would complain about it if he could hold himself back from devouring his face for one more second.

This time, they both lean in slower, finding a better angle. The kiss is less desperate than the one from last night but Liu Qingge responds with the same -if not more- passion that he did the first time. Shen Yuan has to grab the front of the younger’s shirt to hold himself together.

Well, that doesn’t really last that long considering that not even a full minute later Shen Yuan finds himself lying on his back with Liu Qingge on top of him, kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.

Shen Yuan has kissed plenty of people before, but he has never felt this much excitement about a make out session probably ever since he was still a hormonal teenager. Liu Qingge is already straddling his hips but somehow it’s not enough.

“I want more,” he blurts out without realizing it. 

Liu Qingge freezes on top of him, detaching himself from Shen Yuan a little in order to be able to look at him.

“You can’t just say that,” the younger man says, pupils dilated. His face is the prettiest shade of red.

“Why not? It’s the truth.” Shen Yuan decides to tease him a little now that he feels more confident. He pushes his hips up a little in order to prove his point. Liu Qingge lets out the most beautiful noise that he has ever heard at that.

“I hope you know that your actions have consequences,” the man on top of him says, leaning in to kiss him again, his hands wandering all over his body. 

Shen Yuan sure doesn’t mind the consequences of his actions this time.

Later that day, when the two of them are eating a late lunch that Liu Qingge quickly prepared when he learned that Shen Yuan hadn’t eaten anything today, Shen Yuan decides to check his phone. He finds a series of text messages from a certain writer.

[so… did you finally suck his dick]

[we’re all rooting for you bro]

[DUDE don’t leave me hanging]

[wait i guess you really are sucking his dick GOOD FOR YOU GOOD FOR YOU]

[i’ll be patiently waiting for the details, my next book depends on them]

…

…

Shen Yuan definitely needs new friends but at least he got himself a boyfriend (for real this time).

The End.