Work Text:
“You what?!” Yeonjun shrieked, eyes wide as saucers and brows so far up his forehead they almost disappeared into his hairline. Taehyun flinched, backing up a little as he wringed his hands together. Soobin sighed next to Yeonjun, shaking his head and taking a few steps toward Taehyun. “You absolutely cannot go on a date with him, Hyunnie, no matter how much you want to,” he advised, resting one of his hands on Taehyun’s shoulders.
Taehyun blinked at his hyung, before sighing, hanging his head a bit. “I know, I know, I don’t know why I said yes,” he mumbled. His best friends were right, and they could see the situation more clearly than Taehyun could. He was still blinded by his feelings for Beomgyu, so much so that he was willing to forgive and forget something he should not forget and certainly should not forgive.
It hurt, the truth, but he knew his friends were right. He shouldn’t go on the date with Beomgyu.
Soobin pulled Taehyun against his side, rubbing his arm comfortingly. “You said yes because he was charming you, it’s an honest mistake,” he reassured, leading Taehyun into the living room and sitting down next to him on the couch. Yeonjun moved to his other side, patting his knee a few times. “We just don’t want to see you taken advantage of,” the elder said. Taehyun forced a smile in his direction, before going back to studying his hands.
His hyungs stayed by his side for a little while longer, helping Taehyun draft a text to Beomgyu telling him he had changed his mind about the date and that it would be better if they didn’t talk anymore. The last part really hurt, but Taehyun knew it was the right thing to do. If he ever wanted to get over his crush and move on, he had to stop making time for Beomgyu.
The boy had his fraternity to focus on, as well as his many random hook-ups, so Taehyun knew he would be just fine. And Taehyun himself could always devote more of his time to studying or maybe joining that dance class on campus that he had considered at one point.
Beomgyu sent back a litany of confused texts and more apologies, but Yeonjun took Taehyun’s phone and blocked Beomgyu’s number. Taehyun wasn’t sure he really supported that, but he kept his mouth shut and let his hyungs—who knew better, since they were both in a committed relationship with, well, each other—do as they wanted.
Taehyun excused himself then, going and getting ready for bed. He tried not to feel too sad about the whole ordeal, reminding himself of what Beomgyu had done. Thinking of it did make some of the sadness melt away, but Taehyun didn’t feel like being angry at Beomgyu either. He just didn’t want to feel anything towards the boy anymore, not now that there was no future between them.
And even if Beomgyu was being genuine in his apology, and even if he really did want to take Taehyun out, Taehyun didn’t want to start a relationship because Beomgyu felt he owed Taehyun something. He had wanted it to blossom out of mutual attraction and true friendship. He still had hope that he could find that elsewhere.
But for now, he curled up in his bed and hoped to fall asleep before his emotions got the best of him.
Yeonjun had taken it upon himself to be Taehyun’s personal bodyguard around campus. Though he lived in the same house as Beomgyu and saw him all the time, he sided with Taehyun entirely and made it his life’s mission to always keep the younger away from Beomgyu. Or, more often, to keep Beomgyu away from Taehyun.
It was slightly annoying, being whisked down a different route by Yeonjun, or being interrupted during his study period by the elder, who insisted Taehyun needed to move to a different location. Taehyun knew the boy’s heart was in a good place, but he was starting to interfere with Taehyun’s everyday life.
On one particular day, Taehyun had already had a bad morning, and was at his wits’ end. His coffee order had been wrong, he had missed a due date by mistake, and his boss had asked him to work an extra shift over the weekend so he had to cancel his plans with his eomma. He was on the brink of tears as he left the business building and went down the familiar path to the math hall, not thinking as he walked.
He barely caught a flash of bright hair before an arm was sliding through his and hooking around his elbow, pulling him in another direction. “Beomgyu-ah is down that way, Taehyunnie,” he said happily, beaming without a care in the world.
Only, Taehyun had had enough. He ripped his arm out of Yeonjun’s grip and hiked his backpack up on his shoulders. “It’s fine, hyung, this way is faster, and I don’t want to be late,” he mumbled, starting to walk. Yeonjun scurried after him, eyes wide as he tried to look at Taehyun. “He’s going to try to talk to you,” he warned. Taehyun ignored him, exhaling through his nose.
Yeonjun sighed, shaking his head. “Fine, but I’m still walking with you,” he muttered. Taehyun stayed quiet again, and was thankful when Yeonjun fell silent too. As they continued to walk, Taehyun realised Yeonjun wasn’t lying. He hadn’t thought he was, but his heart still sped up and he felt his blood run a little colder as he got closer to where Beomgyu was sitting with a couple of his friends.
Best case scenario, Taehyun would be able to walk straight past and Beomgyu wouldn’t notice him. But, of course, life never worked out the way Taehyun would prefer. As he got close enough to hear Beomgyu talking, he heard him stop talking and when he looked up, the boy was running over to him.
“Taehyun-ah!” he cried out, and Taehyun couldn’t help but turn towards his name being called. When he did, he saw Beomgyu come to a stop in front of him, hair slightly swept off his face, and expression slightly hopeful. There was a tinge of fear too, but Taehyun looked away before he could really tell. “I’m on my way to class,” he said, trying to move around Beomgyu, but the boy only moved with him, still blocking his path. “Taehyunnie, please, can we talk?” he asked, desperation leaking into his voice.
The sound pulled at Taehyun’s heart, and he looked back at the boy, faltering already. He was a forgiving person—maybe that was his fatal flaw—and he wanted to hear Beomgyu out, but Yeonjun was right there then, interrupting.
“He doesn’t want to, Beomgyu-ah, leave him alone,” he said, hands on his hips. Taehyun closed his eyes momentarily, his emotions building up inside of him, mixing and swirling so much it was overwhelming. He had been on the edge all day, this might just send him over it. “I think he can speak for himself, hyung,” Beomgyu replied.
Yeonjun shot back a sarcastic retort that Taehyun didn’t catch, but apparently it pulled an angry reaction out of Beomgyu, who then said something back, and then the two were arguing and Taehyun couldn’t do this.
He side-stepped around Yeonjun, hoping to just slip away as the two screamed at each other, but luck was once again not on his side. He managed a few steps, before a hand grabbed his elbow, yanking him to a stop hard enough that he stumbled. “Wait, don’t leave!” Beomgyu yelled out, gripping Taehyun’s elbow as the younger managed to regain his balance.
Taehyun’s head shot up as he glared at Beomgyu, pulling his arm out of his grasp. Yeonjun took a few steps forward, arm extended, but Taehyun backed away from them both. “Stop!” he cried, eyes filling with hot, angry tears. He glared back and forth between the two boys, both of whom had matching expressions of guilt and concern. Taehyun stepped back, inhaling deeply. “Just leave me alone,” he begged. “Both of you.” He looked one final time at Beomgyu, before pivoting and walking away.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand haphazardly, embarrassed he had gotten so worked up. He was exhausted, but still had one more class to get through, so he took a few more deep breaths and pulled himself together. Neither Yeonjun nor Beomgyu followed him, and he was grateful for that, at least.
By the time he got to class, he had swallowed the rest of his tears and was glad to focus on logarithmic equations for an hour and a half. Anything would be better than dwelling on what had just happened.
Taehyun had been wary that Yeonjun and/or Beomgyu wouldn’t heed his demands, but when he left class there was nobody waiting for him. He exhaled in relief, plugging his ears with his headphones and turning on some relaxing music. Campus was buzzing with life as he walked to his car, and if he weren’t in such a sour mood he may have considered going out and doing something, but all he wanted was to go home and bury himself under his covers while he watched anime.
He hummed along quietly as he dug in his backpack to find his car keys. As he did, he felt someone touch his shoulder and he flinched violently, jerking away. He looked up quickly, scared, but thankfully it was just Yang Jungwon, a friend of Kai’s and an acquaintance of Taehyun’s.
“Shit, Jungwon-ah, you scared me,” he gasped, a hand pressed to his chest. Jungwon laughed loudly, patting Taehyun’s shoulder a few times. “I’m sorry, hyung! I just saw you and thought I’d come say hi!” he explained. Taehyun couldn’t help but smile at the younger’s enthusiasm. The boy most likely had no idea of Taehyun’s qualms, which was refreshing, and so Taehyun decided not to cut their interaction short on behalf of sparing himself.
“Oh, well, hello then. How are you?” he asked politely. Jungwon grinned brightly, clutching his backpack straps as he started to walk with Taehyun. “I’m good! How are you, though? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages,” he replied.
Taehyun smiled softly, shrugging his shoulders once. “I’m good too, just doing the same old same old,” he answered. Jungwon seemed to accept the vague response and dove into a story about a party he was at last weekend, and Taehyun listened politely, though he didn’t have anything to contribute.
They both made it to Taehyun’s car by the time Jungwon’s story wrapped up, and Taehyun hesitated. If he were to be a good hyung, he’d offer Jungwon a ride home. Only issue was that Jungwon lived at the same frat house as Yeonjun and—more consequently—Beomgyu. He knew the younger wasn’t expecting a ride, but Taehyun had been raised to look out for those younger than him.
“Would you like a ride home, Jungwon-ah?” he asked. Jungwon’s eyes widened, before he smiled widely and nodded, clapping his hands and bowing a bit. “Thank you, hyung!” he shrieked. Taehyun giggled, and they both got in his car.
Jungwon settled his bag between his legs and buckled up, patting his knees as Taehyun started to drive.
“Hopefully Beomgyu-hyung isn’t being all moody tonight, he was such a buzzkill yesterday,” he said absentmindedly. Taehyun’s eyes widened for a split-second and his blood ran cold again as he worried that Jungwon was going to start asking him questions. But thankfully, the boy continued, oblivious to Taehyun’s reaction. “I don’t know what’s up, but he’s just been so out of it.” He sighed deeply then. “I think he just needs to get laid.”
Taehyun’s breath caught in his throat at that, and all he could do was give a strained nod. Jungwon shook his hair out, looking out the window. Taehyun knew he should just leave it alone, Beomgyu wasn’t his concern. But…he couldn’t help but worry a little. Jungwon had no reason to lie, it appeared that he didn’t have any knowledge of what happened between Taehyun and Beomgyu. If Beomgyu really was distraught over how he had treated Taehyun, Taehyun felt like he should check on him.
Yes, what Beomgyu did to him was awful, but Taehyun wondered if he was being too harsh. He didn’t think he was unjustified in protecting his heart, but Beomgyu could be rather thick at times. It was possible that the boy was literally too oblivious to pick up on the signs that Taehyun gave him regarding his feelings. It hurt to think that Beomgyu intentionally ignored his signs, and based on Jungwon’s information, it seemed more likely that the elder truly did not understand what Taehyun had been trying to communicate to him.
He chewed on his lip as he pulled to a stop in front of the frat house. Jungwon sat up and smiled brightly at Taehyun, who was staring out at the house as he contemplated. “Thank you for the lift, hyung!” he thanked, opening the door. Taehyun looked over at him, forcing a smile. “Of course, Jungwon,” he managed. Jungwon looked at him for a moment, before Taehyun inhaled sharply. “Can I come in, actually?” he asked.
Jungwon blinked a few times, before nodding. “Is everything okay?” he asked softly. Taehyun hesitated, staring at the steering wheel, before he opened his door. “I’m not sure,” he said honestly. He got out then, glad that Jungwon didn’t ask any more questions as they both walked up to the front door. Taehyun took a few deep breaths, his nerves starting to build up. He had no idea what he wanted to say, he just knew that he had to say something before it ate him up inside.
Jungwon unlocked the door and they walked inside. Taehyun felt his stomach twist as the memories of the last time he was in the foyer, but he pushed them down as best he could. Not a lot of members were home, but the few that were didn’t spare him a second glance. Jungwon dropped his shoes at the large rack by the door, and then turned around. “Was there something you left here? I can go ask Yeonjun-hyung—.”
“No,” Taehyun interrupted. “I, um…actually want to talk to Beomgyu-hyung.” God, he hoped this didn’t blow up in his face. Jungwon blinked in confusion a few times, slowly nodding. “Okay…I can go grab him,” he replied. Taehyun gave him a small smile, nodding. He clasped his hands in front of him before letting them hang at his sides awkwardly. “I’ll wait here,” he informed.
Jungwon nodded again and then pivoted, dashing up the stairs. Taehyun stayed in the foyer, doing his best not to back out. He wanted to have this conversation, needed to have it, if anything to gain closure. He just hoped he would be able to find his words.
A few minutes later, Taehyun heard two sets of footsteps growing louder, and lifted his head to see Jungwon and Beomgyu walking down the stairs. Taehyun’s eyes met Beomgyu’s, and the boy looked as nervous as Taehyun felt. His skin was pale, hair shoved under a beanie, and eyes tired. He seemed surprised to see Taehyun, and when he came to a stop a few feet away, Taehyun had to look away.
“I’ll, uh…just go,” Jungwon said, clearly picking up on the tension. He left without a word, and then it was just Beomgyu and Taehyun in the foyer together. Taehyun’s mind was racing, and he could feel Beomgyu’s eyes burning holes into his forehead, so he looked up. The boy appeared to be at a loss of words, mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally managed a sentence.
“What are you doing here?”
Taehyun hesitated. He wasn’t quite sure how to start the conversation, and he looked around nervously for a few seconds before replying. “I wanted to talk to you,” he decided to say. It was honest, at least. Beomgyu blinked a few times, before looking down, scratching his arm. “Thought you wanted me to leave you alone,” he mumbled. Taehyun felt a flash of anger at that and glared at Beomgyu, pressing his lips together. “Seriously?” he shot back.
Beomgyu looked at him, before sighing, rubbing his face with one hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just…confused,” he murmured. Taehyun stared at him, before sighing, letting his brief anger fade away. “So am I,” he admitted, swaying on his feet awkwardly. Beomgyu only gazed at him silently, giving him room to continue speaking. Though unsure of how exactly to articulate his thoughts, Taehyun did his best to continue.
“I thought I was being obvious,” he began. “With my feelings towards you. I just…I didn’t realise that you maybe really didn’t get it, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had done something wrong.”
Beomgyu absorbed those words, and then shook his head, taking a step closer. “No, don’t apologise,” he insisted, a hint of desperation in his voice. “I deserved to be put in my place. I took advantage of your affection towards me, and for that I am truly sorry.” He clasped his hands in front of his chest, and Taehyun felt his heart twist. The words sounded genuine, they felt genuine. He wanted to believe the elder.
“I want to forgive you,” he said slowly. “I want to let you back in, no matter the capacity. Even if that means we’re just friends.” He looked away as he felt a lump form in his throat. He didn’t want to cry in front of Beomgyu. He didn’t want the pity. He took a shaky breath, and continued. “I miss you.”
The silence stretched for a few moments after that, and Taehyun couldn’t bring himself to look at the elder. His heart was racing, and he was so emotionally exhausted he felt like he could just pass out right then and there.
“I don’t want to be your friend, Taehyun.”
The words struck Taehyun in the chest like a knife, and his head snapped up as he felt dread start to crash over him. Only then, Beomgyu moved forward until he was in Taehyun’s space, close enough that the younger could smell his familiar shampoo. “I’m so fucking sorry that this is what it took for me to realise my own feelings for you,” he breathed. “It makes me feel so ingenuine and I don’t know how to prove to you that what I feel is real, but it’s real, Taehyunnie.”
Taehyun felt like he couldn’t breathe. Everything was moving very fast, and as he stared up into Beomgyu’s eyes he didn’t know what to think. His heart wanted to believe, his brain wasn’t so quick to that conclusion. It was difficult for him, but Beomgyu seemed to understand that, because he took a step back.
“I will wait for you, as long as you need. I will prove to you that I care about you, and that I can be good to you,” he promised. His eyes shone and Taehyun knew he wasn’t lying. There were no traces of deceit that he could detect, and he was tired of holding a grudge. He may not have been ready to jump into a relationship with the boy, but if Beomgyu was willing to wait, then Taehyun might consider.
For now, he would accept the resolve. He didn’t have the strength to do anything but.
And so he nodded, wrapping his arms around himself as he swayed on his feet. “Prove it to me, hyung,” he whispered. Beomgyu looked at Taehyun then, a slight glimmer in his eye as he nodded rapidly. “I will, Taehyun,” he replied quietly. Taehyun bowed once, and gave a small smile. He turned before he could catch Beomgyu’s reaction, and took a deep breath as he walked out the front door.
When he got into his car, he could only hope that Beomgyu would be true to his word. He supposed, only time would tell.