Chapter Text
Jeno was the goddamn love whisperer. He was in a grand total of one relationship, an online girlfriend on Maplestory when he was 11, a sudden attempt to squash the rising butterflies in his stomach at the sight of another, more tangible person. Somehow it was enough for people to text him at every hour for advice on their relationships, even if they had already made their way to the grave in Jeno’s opinion.
It sounded like an ironic joke to him—Jeno has not been able to deal with his own feelings for the last 6 years. Jeno was five when the Huang family moved into the empty house on their street in a suburban neighborhood that was pretty much ninety percent Asian. He waved at the kid from his own front lawn and didn’t really think about it too much, running off to play with Rohan and Daniel on the swing set in his backyard. When he started kindergarten that fall, just barely three months later, his nametag was plastered onto the table closest to the front of the class. He was seated at the edge, and the kid that he waved to many afternoons ago slid into the tiny chair next to him.
After that, it was pretty inevitable that they grew up together; being only a month apart and having the same birthdate (they could have almost been twins!) meant it had to be fate after all. It was somewhere through the years that they created their little group of six chaotic kids, established as they entered high school.
All that time later, Jeno only knew a few things about himself for sure: he still played soccer, still enjoyed video games, and was still irrevocably in love with Renjun Huang.
Unfortunately, Jeno was pretty sure Renjun didn’t reciprocate his feelings. It was a lazy afternoon one weekend when Jeno had an idea. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or a terrible one just yet, but it was an idea nonetheless. It was only a ridiculous amount of cold brew later, at nearly 3 in the morning, that he finally did it on a whim—driven by liquid courage, sleep deprivation, and loss of self-preservation.
New accounts on Instagram and Twitter that sport hastily edited layouts which are obnoxiously pink and burgundy, mimicking the school crest and colors popped up, courtesy of Jeno mediocre graphic design skills. He tweeted and posted a story (spelled properly much to Future Jeno™'s surprise) about his new service: matchmaking.
And to be honest, it kind of made sense. Jeno was the reason why a good number of the couples in their high school even existed. The constant texts about their crushes and issues was exhausting; why wouldn’t he direct them all towards another entity, never mind that he would be behind it anyway.
He spent the next hour or two setting up the process and regulations for his yet-to-be-named service and then passed out, slumped over the keyboard of his whirring laptop as the alarm clock next to his bed blinked red, flashing 2:37.
He woke up to a barrage of notifications: his phone didn’t stop blinking all morning. Some of them were basic questions, requests for date advice and relationship advice that flooded his DMs anyway. Others had asked him to set them up with the people they like or give advice on how to ask them out.
Jeno glanced at his gaming setup, and while his PC is great, he had wanted to get an upgrade for a while. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
Jeno should have seen this one coming. There was no doubt that Donghyuck wouldn’t have found out about this immediately; he literally knew everything going on in the school. It was no doubt that the first thing out of Hyuck’s mouth the next morning was the new account.
He fell into step next to Jeno on the sidewalk, panting slightly from running to catch up with him on their way to school 1. “Hey did you see the new school account? It’s called The Love Expert. Apparently, they give advice and matchmake people.”
“Uh, no. Renjun went earlier, by the way,” Jeno said, adjusting the straps of his backpack on his shoulders.
“Huh. One sec.” Donghyuck pulled out his phone from his back pocket and loaded the page. “See?” He held the phone up to Jeno. “Pretty cool right? I wish I thought of it.”
“Are you even qualified to give advice?” Jeno retorts, ignoring the fact that he himself has no qualifications, not even experience, to give advice. There are some things better left ignored.
“Well, no, but how hard could it be? Besides, it’s not like whoever is running the account put any qualifications down. It seems like a sick way to make money. They’re charging $10 for matchmaking and they answer limited questions randomly and $5 for a personal Q and A session. It’s like built-in marketing too.”
“Yeah, it does sound pretty cool. Are you planning on using it or something?”
“I don’t know yet," Donghyuck shrugged. He immediately jumped to the next topic, "Oh yeah, by the way, did you watch his stream last night? I think I might get that game too…”
Jeno relaxed as the conversation veered into more familiar territory, that of games and anime, primarily Jujutsu Kaisen. They reached the school gate before long, waving to Renjun and Jaemin at the entrance and joining them.
“Are we waiting for Yangyang and Shotaro?” Donghyuck said, in lieu of a greeting.
“Nah,” Jaemin replied, turning to go inside the campus. “‘Taro had dance practice this morning; he’s at the studio. Yangyang is still working for the production—tech theatre, remember?”
“Still? Doesn’t he just do lights and stuff? Why the fuck does he need to go every day before school?”
“Rehearsal, obviously. Plus, Mr. Do is kind of a hardass about stuff like that. Did you see the new matchmaking thing?”
“Yeah,” Donghyuck scoffed lightly, as if it was absurd to think otherwise,
“Are you going to sign up or something? It seems fun,” he asked. “I might.”
“Oh really?” Donghyuck smirked. “Who is it, Jaemin?”
Jeno couldn’t help but glance at Renjun, who was scrolling on his phone leaning on one of the brick pillars. He was moving slightly to a beat—likely to whatever was playing out of his Airpods.
He looked so good.
“—no. Hey, Jeno!” Donghyuck’s pointed words snapped Jeno out of his musings. “Nana won’t tell me who he likes!” he exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Jaemin.
Jaemin shrugged. “What? You’ll need more than that.”
“Let’s go—before the bell rings and we’re late,” Renjun cut in before Donghyuck could grumble too much, pulling out a single airpod and walking ahead.
Jeno jogged ahead to catch up, leaving Jaemin and Donghyuck to follow. “Hey,” he blurted. “So? How was your weekend?”
“The usual I guess? Not much going on.” He offered the other airpod to Jeno, which he took. “Hey, you have Chem first block, right? Is the test hard?”
Jeno shook his head, and by that time Jaemin and Donghyuck had caught up, joining Renjun in pestering him about the chemistry test, much to his chagrin.
Donghyuck sent an application in, apparently. Jeno found his name on the responses spreadsheet after school and paused for a second in slight disbelief. It was one thing to give advice to people he didn’t know—he could just parrot repetitive advice and basic common sense back to them—but to Donghyuck, who he knew? That was just weird.
He dropped his phone when he saw the recipient's name. Renjun .
For one, that field was completely optional. Jeno cursed his luck—what were the chances that he had to set up one of his best friends with his other best friend and crush? Ignoring row 27 ( that row, obviously), Jeno drafted nearly forty emails that night, completely ignoring his calculus homework. Most of them had some variation of:
To Sophia,
Thanks for contacting The Love Expert. We have received your request and will get back to you as soon as possible about a possible match. Your payment, of $10.00 was successfully received.
Regards,
The Love Expert
or
To Rika,
Thanks for contacting The Love Expert. We have received your request and will answer your concerns below. Your payment, of $5.00 was successfully received.
Your question:
Regards,
The Love Expert
Regardless, by the end of it, he was thoroughly sick of romance, behind on his math homework, and dreading the oncoming challenge of dealing with Donghyuck's request. Seriously, out of all of the guys in their fairly large high school, it had to be his crush and best friend?
On second thought, that may have been for the best considering that Jeno could be sure that Renjun and Donghyuck were both good guys. He wouldn't want his friends ending up with assholes anyway.
He started it out with a fairly vague draft:
Dear Donghyuck,
Thank you for contacting The Love Expert. From what we know about Renjun, we can give you some tips. As always, we do not guarantee any results.
Jeno was stumped. Honestly, if he knew what Renjun liked and what would get him to like someone back, he would have done it already, considering his situation. What did Renjun like? The question was easy enough at first: hot pot, art, music, and aliens just to name a few.
It was enough to write an answer at least.
Getting food together may be a good option—perhaps hot pot? Sweets and desserts such as ice creams are always a great option as well. Potential date ideas include: concerts, sci-fi movies, painting classes, art galleries, and planetariums.
We wish you luck in your endeavor!
Regards,
The Love Expert
He sent the email before he could second guess himself. Hopefully he didn't include any typos, but at this point, he didn't even want to check. He finally pulled out his calculus homework and unplugged his calculator from the charger. It was honestly better to just not think about it.
Jeno ended up walking to his usual lunch spot alone the next day. Odd. He would normally go with Donghyuck or Yangyang but for some reason, both of them ran out of class instead of waiting for him like they normally would while he asked Mr. Park about VESPR structure. It was likely that Yangyang just had a rehearsal or something, a fairly common occurrence as the semester went on closer to break. His suspicions were confirmed when Yangyang waved at him from inside one of the theatre classrooms. “Hey, did you see Donghyuck?”
Yangyang replied, visibly confused, “Doesn’t he normally wait for you after class?”
“He ran out pretty much immediately; I had to ask Mr. Park a question so I came out a few minutes later.”
“That’s weird. Maybe he just really needed to pee? I don’t know, dude.”
Jeno shrugged and shot him a smile. “Yeah. Thanks.”
He ran back towards the bathrooms, hoping to catch Donghyuck there. He glanced under the stalls discreetly, or at least tried to be discreet, looking out for the telltale neon green (and ugly!) Nike shoes that he wore.
The stalls had no sign of the abomination that were Donghyuck’s shoes, unfortunately.
Jeno sighed, heading back towards his original destination. The six of them normally ate lunch under a large tree just outside the school building, sitting on the pavement in between where the tree’s shade covered just enough to protect all of them from the blinding sun. Only two of them were there when Jeno dropped his lunchbox on the ground and plopped onto the concrete. “Yangyang is in theatre,” he said in lieu of a greeting.
“Yeah, I know,” Jaemin replied nonchalantly, stuffing kimbap into his mouth. “He told me. Anyways, I’m going too. Roland said we only have lunch to come in if we need extra time on our sample yearbook spreads.” He grimaced at the thought as he pulled himself up, muttering. “At least give us more than a block if you want a whole spread, damn it.”
Jeno’s eyes followed Jaemin to the door inside before turning back to his only companion. “Guess it’s just me and you, ‘Taro.” He smiled, shoving his bag of salt and vinegar chips in front of him, offering them to him.
“Thanks,” Shotaro replied, taking a few. “Where are Donghyuck and Renjun? Doesn’t Donghyuck normally come with you anyway?”
Jeno shrugged, popping another small handful of chips into his mouth. “He ran after class and I don’t know where he is. I tried looking for them too…’
Shotaro nodded, redirecting the conversation into more mundane topics as they ate their food.
Donghyuck and Renjun came in a few minutes later, joining them and closing the circle.
“Where were y’all?” Jeno asked. “I couldn’t find Donghyuck after class.”
“Donghyuck just asked me about going—”
Donghyuck cut Renjun off, interjecting, “Going to the choir fundraiser! And then I kind of just stuck with him after that.”
Renjun furrowed his brow in confusion, but didn’t correct him.
Jeno had the sinking feeling that he knew exactly what Donghyuck asked of him.
Renjun was fairly confused when Donghyuck cornered him after his art class, and that too, without Jeno. It was common knowledge that Donghyuck, Jeno, and Yangyang had chemistry the block before lunch during the same time that Renjun had art.
Regardless, he waved in greeting with a smile as he gathered up the last of his belongings. “Hey. You’re alone today?”
Donghyuck fiddled with his fingers. “I was actually hoping to talk to you before we went to lunch. Alone.”
Renjun was taken aback, but he quickly recovered and responded. “Uh, yeah, what’s up?” He walked with Donghyuck to the corner of the side hallway, slinging his backpack over one shoulder.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to, uh, get ice cream together later today?” Donghyuck asked, his voice getting progressively thinner and higher as he finished his question.
“Sure, yeah. We can ask the others during—”
“Actually I was thinking it could just be us two…” Donghyuck trailed off, looking everywhere but Renjun’s eyes.
“Uh, yeah, okay,” Renjun replied, even more bewildered than before. It was even more confusing that Donghyuck wanted to keep it a secret, or at least not common knowledge. It plagued him through all of his next block—not that it was hard since history with Mrs. Williams was boring as hell—until a startlingly uncomfortable conclusion hit him.
It couldn’t be a date, right?
Renjun was hit with the sinking feeling that it might be. Donghyuck was uncharacteristically timid when asking him, he was too secretive, and they were going alone…
Renjun felt bad, dreading the end of school. The afternoon approached quickly though, and he was left awkwardly standing by the gates of the school, far enough to avoid Jeno and Shotaro. He had no idea how Donghyuck was going to get out of it, but it was common knowledge that he stayed after school for art without much notice. Donghyuck, on the other hand, jumped at every chance to escape the cement building of hell to go back to his home.
Donghyuck ran up to Shotaro and Jeno just a few minutes later, exchanged a few words, and waved goodbye as Jeno and Shotaro started on the way home. Then, he turned towards Renjun and grinned brightly.
Renjun dreaded the fact that he might kill that smile soon.
It wasn’t overly awkward, but the tension was palpable. They were sitting on the curb in front of the Baskin Robbins at the nearby strip mall, looking into the nearly empty parking lot. Renjun got a single scoop of Mint Chocolate Chip and Donghyuck licked his waffle cone with Cookies ‘n Cream and Rocky Road.
“Want some?” Donghyuck held out his cone to share.
Renjun wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Too much chocolate.” Still, he dug his spoon into the scoop of Cookies ‘n Cream and held out his own cup in exchange.
“I still don’t get that,” Donghyuck said, crunching on his cone. “Who doesn’t like chocolate?”
Renjun sighed. “I’ve told you this way too many times now. I don’t hate chocolate. I’m not that much of a disappointment.”
“You, my sir,” Donghyuck cut him off, pointing his spoon straight at Renjun in between bites. “Could never be a disappointment.’
“Thanks?”
“You have good grades, are talented, you’re kind, you’re funny, handsome, incredible, cook well, can sew…” he trailed off, seemingly deep in thought. “Any one would be lucky to know you. Be with you. I’m lucky to know you.”
Renjun froze. It was rare for Donghyuck to be like this. Their friendship was based on the foundation of banter, dumb insults that never cut deep, and their mutual dislike of the assitant choir director, who Renjun swears hates them with a burning passion.
Donghyuck looked him in the eyes.
Renjun’s heart pounded, and not in the way it did when he talked with… someone . It threatened to leave him with weight and guilt and the loss of a friend he loves so dearly. He so desperately wanted Donghyuck to stop speaking.
“I like you.”
The world went on: cars honked and birds squawked. A child whined for an ice cream as their mom pulled them away into the neighboring grocery store. Renjun’s world paused, but not quite. It existed in a weird limbo where he hadn’t quite processed the words that he just heard. He was vaguely aware of Donghyuck’s eyes on him.
“Renjun?”
Renjun breathed for a moment, a deep breath, acutely aware of all of the sensations he felt. “I’m sorry, I—”
“It’s okay,” Donghyuck smiled, and while not as bright as it might have been just a few moments ago, it was still genuine. “I just wanted you to know.”
Renjun nodded stiffly.
“Hey.” Donghyuck knocked knees with him. “We’re still friends. I mean unless you don’t…”
“No, of course not!” Renjun exclaimed.
“Then, it’s fine,” Donghyuck encouraged. “I guess you like someone else anyway, which is totally cool, by the way." He took a large bite of his ice cream, grinning and eyes bright. "I’ll be your wingman.”
Renjun blushed.
“You do!”
“Fuck off,” Renjun snapped back, without much heat.
“Who? Is it one of our friends?”
He turned away from Donghyuck, refusing to dignify the question with an answer.
“It is! I’m placing bets on Jaemin or Jeno. Or am I wrong?”
He was met with silence. Renjun flushed further, despite trying to will away the redness of his face. There was no reason that anyone had to find out about his age-old crush on his childhood best friend now.