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Shi Guang considers himself to be the person who probably knows Yu Liang best and Yu Liang hates giving interviews. It should have struck him as odd when the other had come home after one of the longest interviews any of them had ever had without complaining even once. He'd just come in, grabbed a slice of the pizza Shi Guang had ordered earlier, and joined him on their couch. It hadn't even occurred to him to ask how the interview had been, because Yu Liang hates interviews.
So he's honestly surprised when he enters the corner store near their apartment and has his rival-turned-roommate looking at him from one of those glossy magazines. An actual real smile on his face - Shi Guang knows the difference, holding a weiqi stone in his one outstretched hand while holding the hand of a very pretty girl with the other. She's in the same pose, also smiling and the text in bright red letters below them reads: "The Bright Future of China's Weiqi" and just what the hell?
He grabs the magazine and maybe slams the money for it a bit too hard on the counter before leaving, having forgotten all about why he'd even entered the store in the first place.
The walk home is a bit of a blurr and he shuts the door of their apartment with more force than is necessary. Yu Liang is visiting Fang Xu this afternoon, so he's not there to frown at him. He goes straight to the sofa, opens the magazine and starts reading.
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When Yu Liang comes home two hours later, Shi Guang is still sitting in the same spot. It's not like he can't move, but he feels like if he does, he's going to explode.
Before Yu Liang can even turn around after taking his shoes off, Shi Guang manages to press some words through his clenched teeth.
"What is that?"
He's pointing at the magazine in front of him on the table. He hasn't really touched it since he'd finished reading the article. Twice.
"A magazine? Shi Guang, are you okay?"
Five double pages. Three pages of interviews. Two big pictures, plus four small ones illustrating the text.
There is something very hot and heavy in his stomach. It's uncomfortable and it's all Yu Liang's fault.
Yu Liang who is now raising his eyebrows in this particular way that Shi Guang usually finds kind of funny but raises his hackles now. He just crosses his arms and juts his chin forward in the general direction of the magazine, which makes Yu Liang pick it up with a sigh that sets Shi Guang's teeth on edge. It would probably be a good idea to go outside and walk off whatever this is, but he stays rooted on the spot.
"You're mad about this? Why? It's nothing we've not both done before? Is it the "future of weiqi" thing? That's something they wrote, not something I said, which you know if you've read it. Come on, you know how interviews work."
"It's not that."
We're here today with Yu Liang 4 duan and Ma Huiying 5 duan, the brightest new stars of China's weiqi. Of course, we brought a weiqi board and it doesn't take these two long until they're deep into a game. We almost don't dare to interrupt them.
Have you ever met each other before today?
MH: Oh, yes. The weiqi world isn't that big. You see each other at certain events, it can't really be avoided - not that I'd ever try to avoid Yu Liang. [laughs]
YL: I think the first time we've met each other was a few years ago at one of my father's events, when I was home for a visit from Korea. We were the only younger people there, so we talked a bit.
Have you ever played against each other?
MH: I've wanted to play against Yu Liang ever since I've seen him play for the first time years ago, so this is a bit like a dream come true. [winks]
Is it everything you wanted it to be?
MH: It's obviously not a tournament setting, like in my dreams, but I'm very much enjoying myself. It's every bit as exciting as I thought it would be. [smiles]
YL: I agree. [smiles]
There is silence for a while, while the two concentrate on their game and even we can feel the energy in the room. The sounds of the weiqi stones meeting the board are almost electric.
Seeing how well you get along, have you ever thought about doing pairs weiqi together?
MH: Hm, not really. Pair weiqi requires knowing your partner very well. You have to understand each other blind. It would certainly be a challenge, but you know what they say about me: I'm always up for a challenge!
That's true. It would certainly benefit China's weiqi, though. Seeing two young people playing together and achieving international success.
MH: I mean, never say never, but so far it's not on the agenda.
We won't tell you who won the game, but let's just say that we were very impressed and are looking forward to the future of these two young stars, but now let's take these two to the next room, where...
Yu Liang frowns at the written words and then back at Shi Guang.
"Shixiong said that I often look way too serious on camera. Ma Huiying is known for being personable and that doing this interview could help attract more female players. I think he called it a fluff piece?"
He truly looks like he doesn't understand and wants Shi Guang to explain it to him. It's a testament to how far they've come that Yu Liang isn't currently sniping at him. Shi Guang knows this. He also knows that he's being unreasonable. That he can't really explain it to himself either.
He can't tell Yu Liang that it isn't even truly the interview part that rattled him so badly earlier - Shi Guang knows how interviews work after all. Yes, it doesn't make the whole not even being mentioned when it comes to the future of weiqi thing better, but...
It's the pictures.
Of course, Shi Guang knows about Ma Huiying. He's not as oblivious as he used to be. Just because he doesn't particularly care about most players until he has to face them in a game, doesn't mean he doesn't know their names - especially since Yu Liang seems to know almost all of them in person and you simply do pick up some stuff when you're spending a lot of time with a person.
Ma Huiying is objectively very pretty. She's almost a head smaller than Yu Liang, with chin long black hair that she famously tucks behind her ears the moment she knows she's won a game, throwing her opponents further off their game. Her smile, which can turn deadly when faced with someone people don't expect her to beat, is sweet when she's not holding weiqi stones.
Likewise, Yu Liang is known to not even glance at some of his opponents during games, as if they're not even worth looking at. He's not unfriendly, but he's distant, almost cold at times, all focused gaze and sharp smile.
There is nothing sharp about him in those pictures.
Shi Guang knows that at least half of it is an act. He's had photoshoots with him and knows that Yu Liang can, in fact, turn on the charm if he wants to, and yet...
Yu Liang and Ma Huiying on the cover, holding hands. Shoulders touching. Leaning into each other.
Yu Liang and Mu Huiying in front of a weiqi board, not even looking at the stones, but each other. Gazes focused/focusing on each other. Soft smiles on their faces.
Yu Liang and Ma Huiying shaking hands after their game. Laughing.
Yu Liang and Ma Huiying standing in front of some weiqi board on display. Her pointing out something to him, hand on his shoulder. Talking into his ear. Him smiling a soft smile.
Shi Guang knows that smile.
When he'd first looked at those pictures earlier, something like panic had bubbled up inside of him almost immediately. It's still sitting there, behind his ribcage. It's like he has swallowed embers and they just won't stop burning.
Shi Guang hasn't felt this off-kilter in a long time and it doesn't make any sense.
"So, who won the game?"
"The ga- oh! We didn't actually get to finish."
Yu Liang sits down next to him. Their knees are touching. Shi Guang has the urge to pull away, but knows how childish it would look.
"It was fun, though. Her playing style actually reminded me a bit of yours."
Shi Guang is not sure if the choked noise that comes out of his throat is the result of Yu Liang bumping their shoulders together or not.
"We did decide to maybe play a proper game, soon. You want to come?"
"Wouldn't I be some sort of third-wheel?"
"Why would- Okay, this is getting ridiculous. You can't be seriously mad about that magazine. Look, should I apologize for their words? Will that help? I'm sorry, okay? Shall I call them to tell them to always include you, too in the future?"
"Will you actually host a press conference this time?"
Yu Liang just stares at him now in open astonishment, as if he can't decide between being angry and concerned.
Shi Guang, kind of horrified with himself, buries his face in his hands.
Xiao Guang, I think it's time to take a deep breath and think about a new strategy here. Also, maybe we should think about your end goal?
I'm sorry, Chu Ying. I'm kind of a mess right now.
Something soft but firm suddenly hits his shoulder.
Yu Liang 4 duan, son of Yu Xiao Yang 9 duan, former holder of multiple titles and potentially the best weiqi player in the present world is still holding one of the throw pillows - he vaguely remembers Yu Liang's mother dropping them off at some point, mumbling something vague about boys and interior design - he just used to whack him with in his hand.
"What. Is. Wrong. With. You."
Every word accentuated by another hit. For a moment Shi Guang is so stunned that he's just sitting there, letting himself be pelted with a pillow. Then he does the natural thing and reaches behind him, to also grab one and hits back.
For a while, there is silence, except for the whack whack whack of the pillows and the occasional grunt. Fang Xu would be very proud of their conflict solving skills - though Shi Guang must admit that this one is entirely his own fault... and yet, it's somehow very therapeutic to hit each other with soft objects. He'll have to remember that.
He doesn't even know how, but he assumes it's his superior pillow fight skills, acquired in quite a few grueling late-night fights with Hong He and a reluctant but skilled Shen Yilang, but somehow he gains the upper hand.
He can't help but feel a bit victorious the moment he has succeeded in wrangling the pillow out of Yu Liang's hands and his rival's back hits the couch with a thud. Shi Guang can feel the start of a gleeful smile on his face and to secure his clear win, he leans forward to put his hands on the cushion next to Yu Liang's head, effectively trapping him, ready to proclaim himself the victor the moment he manages to catch his breath.
They're both breathing hard and are close, so close he can feel Yu Liang's breath on his cheeks.
Oh.
Oh.
He hadn't really realised it before, but to Shi Guang, Yu Liang's entire existence could be summed up with one word: want.
I want to play with him every single day.
I want him to respect me.
I want to be by his side. I want him to be by my side.
I want to kiss him.
It feels a bit like the moment a worthy opponent suddenly blindsides you with a move you haven't seen coming. Looking at the board, all the pieces fit together but you hadn't seen it before this exact moment. It's scary and a little overwhelming. Your eyes dart around the board, looking for a way out, but as soon as you realise there is none, a certain calm settles over you. Acceptance. A kind of gratefulness for a game well played. For having learned something new.
Shi Guang leans forward. He's not sure if Yu Liang can read his intention on his face, but his eyes widen a fraction. Surprised, stunned maybe, but not scared. Or disgusted.
Yu Liang is not pulling away ... and then his rival does something Shi Guang never thought he'd do: He yields.
He feels the body under him completely relax.
He doesn't know who moved first, but suddenly it's like being underwater. Static in his head.
There is a moment when they're just touching as if they're frozen in time - Yu Liang's lips are soft and warm - until he feels a hand very carefully settle on his back and it's like the world is rushing back in all at once.
His arms are shaking a bit and he doesn't know where to put his hands - does he even want to move them? If he does, he'll likely just crash down onto Yu Liang and he doesn't know if he wants to do that and if it was welcome if he did.
His train of already muddled thoughts is interrupted when Yu Liang starts to slowly move his lips.
Shi Guang technically knows that kissing is a thing people do. He has seen it in plenty of tv shows and movies and sometimes he sees couples do it on the streets. He has definitely rolled his eyes at seeing people kiss when the clock struck midnight at New Year's.
He's a teenager, so he has of course thought about it from time to time. Wondered what it would be like.
But there had never been someone he'd been interested in kissing. His head had been full of weiqi the majority of the time. And Chu Ying had been there in his head...
No one had told him that it would feel like this. Like jumping off a cliff.
The little sound that escapes him is very undignified and yet he doesn't care. No one can hear him after all, except maybe Yu Liang... whose hands are now clutching the shirt on Shi Guang's back and that does something to him. Almost affects him more than the - still slow - slide of their lips.
Very very carefully, he lowers himself down onto his elbows. A part of him still kind of expects Yu Liang to push him off, but instead Shi Guang can hear and - even more amazingly - feel the other's breath hitch.
It's a nice sound. Shi Guang wants to hear it again.
One of his hands finds its way to Yu Liang's neck. His skin is soft. He doesn't know why he never imagined Yu Liang to be someone who is soft, despite having slept in the same bed with him for so many nights. He can feel his pulse flutter rapidly under this fingertips. Shi Guang assumes his own is going just as fast.
His other hand just keeps absentmindedly stroking through Yu Liang's hair.
I'm scared.
I'm scared, that one day you'll leave me behind. That you decide I'm not worth it after all.
Please don't leave me. Stay by my side.
I like you so much.
Please. Please. Please.
Suddenly there are fingers gently stroking his cheek, startling him.
At some point, he must have closed his eyes and he doesn't know if he dares opening them again.
Their lips aren't touching anymore, but they're still so close that he can feel Yu Liang speak.
"Shi Guang."
It's just his name, but it somehow doesn't sound like it. No one has ever said his name like that before. Almost like a whisper. Helpless. Maybe a little bit scared.
He opens his eyes then.
Yu Liang is staring right back at him, looking slightly dazed. His hair is a bit of a mess. Shi Guang realizes that he hasn't stopped running his fingers through the other's hair. He likes it. It's reassuring somehow.
I'm allowed to do this.
Which is ridiculous given what they just did.
I'm allowed to touch him.
Shi Guang can feel his cheeks heat up. Yu Liang's fingers are cool on his skin. He can feel fingers follow the shape of his left eyebrow, his nose, his cheekbone.
Yu Liang's eyes never leave his.
I'm allowed to kiss him.
He leans down, pressing their lips together again.
Again.
And again.
Short moments of contact.
It's almost funny. Until today he had never thought about kissing Yu Liang and now it's like he can't stop. It's thrilling, like suddenly finding a new move that will change the entire game, turning it on its head.
He can feel Yu Liang's mouth curl into a smile under him and can't help but smile a bit as well, and then Yu Liang pulls him in so that their foreheads are touching. There is a hand at the back of his head. Just holding him there.
"Hey."
"Hey."
They should probably talk about this. Will talk about this. Later. The thought makes worries flutter in his stomach. There are so many questions. So many ways this could hurt.
But for now, he just buries his nose in Yu Liang's neck and breathes.