Chapter Text
Chapter 1
~flashback to 3 months ago~
You're at your friend Valerissa's house, changing in the bathroom and getting ready to spend the night. Someone knocks at the door. "Come in!" You reply, expecting it to be Valerissa. Instead, her brother walks in.
"Hey, can you hurry-" he stops, staring at you. "I didn't know you were spending the night." He looks you up and down, smirking.
"I'll be out in a second," you say.
"No, take as long as you need." Smirking, he closes the door.
How romantic, you think as you continue changing. Once you finish, you head over to Valerissa's room.
"Hey, Val?"
"Yeah, (Y/N)?"
"Your brother's kinda hot. Can I ask him out?"
She laughs. "Sure, but be warned, he's annoying as F."
"Oh, I'm sure that's not true." You smile.
~flash-forward to now~
It's been a month since you broke up with Valerissa's brother. He was pretty chill about it at first, and you were still sort of friends, but then he started stalking you. Both on social media and in real life. It got so bad that yesterday, you decided to block him. On everything.
Now, you're on the couch in your living room, watching Danny Gonzalez with Valerissa. Despite all the stuff with her brother, you're still best friends.
All is well until you hear a strange knocking coming from the window. "Hmm, that was strange," you say.
Valerissa sits up and pauses the TV. "I'm gonna check that out," she says. "Maybe it's the pizza delivery guy." You let her go to the window, not thinking anything of it. Sure, you live in a third-floor apartment, but you never knew with those delivery people.
"Oh my god, it's my brother!" She cries. You stand up immediately.
"Your brother? As in my stalker ex-boyfriend?!" You say, shocked. "But he would never stalk me all the way to my house after I blocked him on everything and spent the day watching cool youtubers with you!"
"OMG, totally! This is crazy!" She pauses for a moment, then screams. "Oh no! He's opening the window because it's unlocked!"
Valerissa watches him in horror, standing in one place and not moving. He sticks his legs through the window and plants his feet on the ground, then he pulls his upper body in.
Slowly, he stands upright. " Pick up the phone, baby, " he sings, as one does. " I know you're home, baby. "
You gasp. He must have put a tracking device on my phone! "Nooo! Please, stalker ex-boyfriend, I'm sorry!"
"There's no excuse now," he says. "Hey Valerissa, there's a cute boy in one of the first-floor bathrooms."
"OMG really?!" Understandably, she runs out.
"Ha ha ha," he laughs evilly. "Now there's nobody here to save you." Then, he starts dancing. But not just any dance… a TikTok dance.
"No!" You cry. But it's too late. His moves are so fresh that you pass out on the floor.
***
When you wake up, the first thing you notice is that you seem to be moving. I should open my eyes, you think, but then you realize they're already open. You also realize that your arms and legs are tied. You try to sit up, but you hit your head on the low ceiling.
Hold on a second. I'm in the trunk of a car! You're proud of yourself for having come to this conclusion so quickly, but you have no idea how to get out. If only you had taken Street Smarts with Detective J.J. Bittenbinder.
In almost no time at all, you feel the car roll to a stop. The trunk opens up, and light pours in.
"Hello there," your stalker ex-boyfriend says. "I have taken you to my giant warehouse that I have because of my ties to the mafia. Get her out, boys."
Two strange men wearing fake swat team outfits pick you up and start to carry you by the arms and legs towards the warehouse. But suddenly, they stop, drop your limbs, and collapse. Confused, you sit up… and gasp as you see feathered neon-orange darts in their necks.
Both you and your stalker ex-boyfriend's heads whip around to see a man jump down from the roof of another warehouse, holding a blowgun.
"My serial killer boyfriend!" You yell happily.
"That's right," he says in a dramatic voice. "And I'm here to rescue you, (Y/N)."
Your stalker ex-boyfriend scoffs. "So this is the guy you left me for? Unimpressed."
"Yeah, I am," he says. "By you." He does a series of sick backflips over to you, grabs your hand, and sprints over to the car you were just trapped in. Both of you climb into the front, and your serial killer boyfriend turns on the engine and speeds away.
"GODDAMMIT JERRY!" You hear your stalker ex-boyfriend scream. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU LEAVE THE KEYS IN?!?!"
Your serial killer boyfriend cackles. “Where do you want to go now, babe?”
I want to go the fuck home, you think. You’re silent for a moment, wondering if you should say it or not.
“Babe?” He repeats. “Where do you want to go?”
“...Can you drop me off at my apartment?” You ask. He looks at you, a little surprised, then back at the road. “Sure,” he says.
You drive in silence for the next few minutes, both ignoring the fact that you’re driving 50 mph over the speed limit. Finally, he pulls into the parking lot.
“Thanks, serial killer boyfriend,” you say, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No problem,” he responds, allowing himself a small smile. You hop out of the car and stroll up to the door. Peeking through the window, you see Valerissa sitting dejectedly on the stairs, so you knock. She sees you and quickly stands up to let you in.
“Thank Danny Gonzalez you’re all right!” She says, throwing her arms around you. “I’ve been waiting for you ever since I called your serial killer boyfriend!”
“Wait, you called him? What about the police?”
“What about them? Listen, I trust that guy a lot more than the police. At least he kills people for a reason.”
“I mean, true. Come on, let’s get back up to my room and relax.”
She nods and follows you upstairs. Shit, I can’t wait to just calm the fuck down for the rest of the day.