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Kenma liked patterns. Be it patterns in a video game, helping him predict what will happen next, or patterns in his mornings. Usually , his morning pattern is Kenma waking up against Kuroo's chest (whether it is naturally or Kuroo waking him up). The two would cuddle for a few minutes until they would shower together. Depending on work, Kenma would either get dressed or would change into some of Kuroo's clothes. Kuroo would change as well then make the two breakfast. They would eat together then Kuroo would go to work. If Kenma had a stream scheduled then he would do so, and if not, he would probably play games anyways.
He occasionally would pick up or do a few chores but mostly just lazed around. Sometimes Akaashi would pick him up and they would go to a cat cafe. Kenma would get a box of apple pie to take home.
When his husband got home, he would cook them dinner (if Kenma hadn't already ordered it), then spend some time together. They would relax until one or both got sleepy then go to bed.
That was the daily pattern Kenma was used to. So, when Kenma woke up alone in a cold bed, hours passed when he usually woke up, he could already tell today was not going to be a good one.
He groggily got out of bed and tottered to the bathroom, not even looking in the mirror. He didn't feel up for a shower, so he plugged up the tub and started to fill it with warm water. He hoped that the warm bath would cool his nerves and help him relax. But of course, when he got into the tub, it was apparent how bad today was determined to be.
Of course, the bath itself was fine. The only problem was that he had brought nothing with him, so he was stuck with his thoughts. He hadn't even checked his phone, so he had no idea why Kuroo hadn't woken him up and what had changed. Was Kuroo getting tired of their morning routine? Was Kuroo getting tired of him ? He hiccuped softly, biting his lip. He felt a hot tear roll down his face. He brought a hand to his mouth, feeling the need to be quiet even though he was alone. Or maybe it was because he was alone.
His mind continued to come up with reasons things had so suddenly changed. Even though he knew logically that they were improbable, he couldn't shut off his thoughts.
Kenma got out of the bath. By the time he was dry enough to change, his skin was crawling as if bugs were digging under his skin. He wanted to change into Kuroo's clothes, but thoughts of Kuroo getting tired of him and how Kenma was probably annoying him stopped him. The blond didn't even bother looking at his clothes, knowing that was a useless endeavor. Instead, Kenma changed into the sweater Akaashi had left here the last time they spent time together. He had initially left it because he had spilled coffee on it, but now it was washed and ready to be returned. Kenma didn't even try to put on bottoms. Too many clothes were suffocating, and there was already a tightness in his chest. He didn't want to risk it.
Once he was back in bed (he couldn't bring himself to eat), he curled up under the covers. He had a thought to check his phone, hoping to see if Kuroo had texted him. But right as he was about to grab it he jerked it back as if it burned him. No. Kuroo's probably tired. Kenma bit his lip, rolling over to lay on his other side. He missed Kuroo.
His bottom lip trembled, his hands shaking slightly. Where was Kuroo? He thought about checking his phone again, but the thought was immediately shut down. No. Stop bothering Kuroo. He was probably at work. But what if Kuroo wasn't at work and didn't want to spend time with Kenma. Was Kenma too boring? What is Kuroo was with someone else? Someone better?
A whimper left the male, shivers running through him. Was he crying? He brought up a hand to his cheeks, feeling hot tear there. When had he started crying? His breath quickened, chest tightening. A hand pressed into his chest, trying to alleviate the painful grip. Everything was fuzzy. What was going on?
"Kuro... I want Kuro." He wasn't even aware he was speaking the words, too lost in his own head to hear himself. A sob left him, his body trembling almost violently. Kuroo left him. Why did Kuroo leave him?
He keened quite loudly, the hand that wasn't pressed into his chest knotted in his hair. His breathing was erratic. He couldn't hear his own sobs. Maybe that's why he didn't hear the front door open and close. Or the steps on the stairs leading to their room. He didn't even notice the door opening.
"Kuro... Kuro..." He whimpered out again, shaking violently. His body felt as if it was seizing and cramping up, he couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He didn't understand what was going on.
Something warm wrapped around him, but he couldn't focus enough to understand what was holding him. Cold breath blew on the back of his neck, his world turned vertical. A gentle hand massaged his own until he let go of his hair and chest. They went limp but were gently laid into his lap. A soft sob left him but a quiet shushing entered his ears.
"There we go... There we go. Just relax. Breath Kenma. I have you." A voice breathed the words into his ear. The chest pressed to his back was breathing slowly, helping him match it. "Good job. I got you, Kitten. Just copy my breath." His arms moved without his prompting, wrapping around himself in a hug with larger arms keeping them there. They started rocking side to side, a kiss pressed behind his ear.
"K-Kuro...?" Kenma's voice was horse. Talking was painful.
"You back with me, Kitten?" Kenma let out a breath of relief, relaxing into the warm chest.
"Yeah... What, what happened?" His memory was fuzzy.
"Well, I'm not sure what caused it... But when I got home, I found you on our bed having an attack. Do you... Do you remember what triggered it?" He asked, his tone gentle and worried.
"I-... I woke up without you and I couldn't work myself up enough to check my phone. I tried to take a bath but then... I got stuck." He couldn't say anything more, turning around to burrow into Kuroo's chest.
His husband gave a small chuckle, kissing the top of his head. "Okay. I love you Kenma. So so much. I'm sorry for leaving without waking you."
"'S okay," He mumbled, curling up into him.
"I brought home apple pie. I had to go to a meeting at a cafe, so I ordered an apple pie while I was there. Do you want any?" He asked, continuing to rock them, his fingers running through Kenma's hair.
"Maybe in a bit..."
"Okay. Wanna stay here for a while?" Kenma nodded.
They later got some apple pie and went to lay on the couch, a movie playing in the background. Kenma didn't go on his phone or switch the entire day, soaking up Kuroo's presence. Kuroo told him non-sense stories and played with his hair, carrying him around the house and holding onto him all day. They ordered take-out that night, eating on the couch. Kenma got sleepy after a while and was carried back to bed where they cuddled close, falling asleep together. Needless to say, the day ended much better than it started.