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“It’s real bad isn’t it?” she looked up from the canteen to the other side of the cave, embers dancing around the cold rocks.
“Yeah,” she sighed out, “It is,” through their campfire she could see her leg, and tried looking away from that. That what got them into where they were right now, though, she would be unearthly cruel to blame it on her, “I’m sorry, Peridot, I shouldn’t have brought us here!” she pulled her legs up to her chest and hid her face in her knees.
Her tears froze to her face.
Peridot forced a smile, “Lapis. Don’t blame yourself,” she rested her head back, “We both got ourselves into this mess. Now, we just gotta find a way out. I know we will,”
A Few Days Earlier
“Siberia?! Lapis are you crazy?” Peridot cried out.
“What, doesn’t it sound fun? I mean, neither of us have ever gone overseas before, or hell even friggin’ left the country!” Lapis said, waving the tickets around in her hand. The tickets were a two-way trip to Krasnoyarks, a city in Russia and just a hundred kilometers away from the Ural Mountains, a locale Lapis suggested they spend their time in, “I mean, we’re doing it for free!”
Peridot stared at the tickets, “How did you get these anyway?”
Lapis thought of this for a moment and said, “Oh you know. Saide and Lars both work at the Airport and they had a lot of hours credited to them from working so much. They’re like, planning on flying everywhere with all their free flights and they gave me a flight to Kras, wherever. Look, do you wanna spit in the face of good fortune, or do you wanna take a chance?”
Lapis offered her hand out to Peridot. Peridot didn’t know a lot about Russia, knew even less about the Ural Mountains, and couldn’t tell you a single thing about Krasnoyarks. But she knew that she loved Lapis. She loved spending time with her, and in the past few years they found themselves drifting farther apart. They still loved each other, but Peridot couldn’t deny that she felt far from her love. Maybe, a trip across the world would bring them closer together? Besides, what could go wrong? It would just be a trip through the mountains.
Their flight lasted a day and a half. At first it was delayed and they almost couldn’t leave their home of Philadelphia, but after getting some business sorted out, both of them were allowed to board, nearly missing the flight when Peridot had to wait in line to purchase a book for the flight. That should have been an omen in it of itself, but Lapis didn’t think much of it, nor did she mind the long flight across the ocean and Europe itself. As long as she was next to Peridot, she was happy. Many times during that flight, Lapis would turn from looking at her phone and look over at Peridot who had her face practically buried in her books. She would reach for her wrist and put her hand on top of it. Soon enough she could feel that wrist warming up, and if Lpais looked at Peridot’s face, she would've been redder than usual. Nearly red enough to match her freckles.
There was no trouble flying over the Atlantic, and the girls touched down in Holland, but they missed their transfer flight due to some miscommunication between the Netherlands and the US. They had to stay at the Dutch airport for nine hours until they finally got back on a plane. And throughout it all, Peridot was giving Lapis some looks.
“Are you still sure about this, Lapis?”
“Yeah. I mean, we’re not the first people to get a bunch of shitty delays,” she wrapped her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder, “C’mon, just relax. We’re gonna be in Russia soon. Drinkin’ vodka, bein’ true commies Marx always dreamed about.”
“Karl Marx was German, Lapis,” and then Peridot found out that Lapis’s eyes could say shut up.
Thankfully when they got back on the plane, they were able to fly over continental Europe, stopping in Bulgaria for their plane to refuel, and they were back in the sky for the last leg of their journey until they finally landed in Krasnoyarsk.
Having lived in Philadelphia their whole lives, they were used to the cold. Every winter they expected snow to pile on until their doors couldn’t open. And maybe it wasn’t a good idea to go into a notoriously cold country during the winter? But for better or worse, they landed in Krasnoyarsk, and encountered snow up over their heads.
“Great. More snow,” Peridot complained after falling into snow the eighth time.
They lost count the amount of times they needed help for directions or just getting out of the snow. But through some miracle, they were able to find a cheap motel in the outskirts after haggling with a taxi. Their room was cold but after turning on a radiator in the corner, it quickly heated the room up to sweating temperatures.
While Peridot was unpacking, Lapis lied down on their bed looking up at the ceiling, “Isn’t this exciting? We’re like, in a new place! Where we’ve never been before!”
Peridot shot her a look, “That all you got to say about Kras, wherever we are?”
Lapis sighed, “Look, I don’t really care about this place either. But, I just really wanted to spend some time with you. Cause, I’ve missed you, and we haven’t done anything in forever,” she said, her eyes never leaving the ceiling.
Peridot popped into view. Lapis blushed, realizing that she was on top of her, “I know. I’ve been pretty bad about keeping up with you, Lapis. But, you know I never stopped loving you right?” she pushed a stray bang out of the way of her face, “You know, uh. There’s a thing couples do when, um. You know, they’re in motels.”
“Tomorrow we gotta hike. You’ll be soar, y’know,”
“I’ll manage,”
They only stayed at the motel for the night, and left for the Ural Mountains with a noise complaint. They were going to stay at a lodge at the base of the mountains for another night before they would start hiking their way up the mountains. The lodgemaster was looking them over the day they started.
“You girls, go hike up?” they said yes, “Is where you live cold?”
Peridot shrugged, “It’s Philly so our winters are pretty cold, yeah.”
He shook his head, “American winters no like ours, no ma’am. I say you all stay down here, ya?”
Lapis snorted, “C’mon. Cold never scares us.”
Peridot didn’t look as sure as Lapis, and the man only shook his head more, “Blagoslovi gospod' vas oboikh,” then he sighed, “Well. I’ll take you to trail. Far as I go. But if there snezhnaya burya, you come back down? Got it?”
“Got it,” Peridot said immediately, and Lapis only rolled her eyes.
They were walking along a path on one of the mountains that gradually took them up its peak before they would walk back down the mountain. Peridot had never gone mountain hiking before and felt very out of her element, breathing hard an hour in. And the cold Russian air felt like dipping her lungs in ice. Lapis fared little better. She had once gone hiking around the Appalachians when she was in middle school, but that was nothing compared to this Ural peak in the middle of winter.
Now saying that, they actually couldn’t have asked for better weather. Sure it was cold as shit, but the sun was out and the sky was clear. It was a beautiful day to hike through the mountains. As peridot was wheezing her way up the trail, Lapis looked down at her and found her glove-covered hand with her own and held it.
“Wh-what? Oh,” she was so out of it, Peridot didn’t realize she was holding Lapis’s hand until a whole minute later.
“Are you ok?”
“Just, you. You know. Tired,”
Lapis looked up the trail and saw a clearing in the trees, “C’mon. We’ll sit down over here,” she had to drag Peridot up the mountain over to a shady tree and sat her down. Even sitting down she was practically hyperventilating, “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Do you think you’ll wanna go back down?”
Peridot’s breathing was turning easier, and she nodded, “Yeah! I, don’t think I can make it up here much longer! I just, need. To rest,” Lapis watched as Peridot’s eyes closed and she leaned her head onto Lapis’s shoulder.
Lapis sighed and leaned into Peridot, “You’re lucky you’re pretty, Peridot,” before she fell asleep with her she muttered, “And I’m lucky to have you.”
Lapis woke up first, and to her horror, it was pitch dark, “Peridot?! Peridot?” she felt her still leaning against her, “Oh god, I can’t see. Am I?” she looked up and saw the dark shapes of the tree above her, “Oh thank god,” it was only dark. Very dark. And the moon hid in darkness. Only the stars looked down upon them, “C’mon, Peridot. You gotta wake up. C’mon!”
Peridot shifted around in her slumber but didn’t wake up. This kinda relieved Lapis because at least she wasn’t dead. She pulled herself up, willing her limbs out of sleep and stumbled around as blood flow came back. Lapis had a million thoughts going through her head. She didn’t want to be on a mountain this late with no provisions, but there was no way they could stay up all night in the russian wilderness.
The sound of a wolf howling brought no comfort to Lapis. She scrambled over to Peridot and hefted her on her shoulders. She was heavier than expected and started yelling her name to try and get her awake. Each step Lapis took was heavier than the last, and though she thought she was walking back towards the trail, she was stepping dangerously close downhill.
“I swear Peridot, this is just like in high school when you fell asleep at that football game. I had to carry your ass from the bleachers to your car, and you just had to park a mile away from, AAAAAH!” she made a wrong step and fell off the mountain. She rolled down the mountain. She lost her grip on Peridot, and she was rolling alongside her. She was scratched by stray twigs, branches, and rocks along the way down until she finally stopped. She was bleeding in a dozen places, and she hurt bad but she had enough strength to stand up. Surrounding her was a small clearing, flat enough to slow a person’s fall down a mountain.
“Fuck!” a stone’s throw away from Lapis was a scream from Peridot. She scrambled over to the source, and instinctively pulled out her phone and turned on its flashlight after forgetting about it, “Lapis! My! My leg!”
Lapis moved her light slowly towards her legs, and to her horror, out from one end and through the other, a piece of the log Peridot landed on had pierced her leg, “Oh my god, oh my god. Peridot, I, I.”
Peridot grabbed her arm, nearly throwing her phone out of her grip, “Listen,” she wheezed, “You gotta get this out of me. Ok? There’s. There’s a knife, in my pocket. You gotta, cut the. Cut the wood, and then pull it out. Ok?”
Lapis fished for the tool and went to work. She saw the piece of log off from the rest of it, and realized she would have to get some very bloody work done. Peridot prepared by clumping the top of her shirt in her mouth and bit down hard.
A flock of birds fled their nests from the noise.
Lapis quickly wrapped her shirt around Peridot’s leg. Scrambling to get her jacket off and on would’ve been very funny to Peridot if she hadn’t had a hole in her leg, “Ok. How are you feeling? Uh, I think I stopped the bleeding, and you should be fine, but. We can’t stay here and,”
“Lapis. Relax,” somehow, even though she was in an extraordinarily amount of pain, Peridot’s smile calmed down her girlfriend, “I. I think I see something over there. Here,” she took Lapis’s hand and practically pulled herself up, “I think that’s a cave.”
Lapis helped Peridot to the cave she spotted, though she kept her eyes on the ground while Peridot guided her there. The cave went very deep and they stopped once the wind couldn’t reach. Lapis let Peridot down gently on the cold rocky floor against the floor. She left her there and said, “I’ll be back with some wood. We’ll need a fire,” before leaving her alone.
The fire kept them warm. Peridot leaned back against the cave wall, attempting to ignore the pain. Lapis sat on the opposite side and reached for a canteen for a drink when she heard Peridot groan, “It’s bad isn’t it?”
Through the embers she saw Peridot’s leg. She cleaned it the best she could, but it was highly likely there was an infection, “Yeah it is,” she said. She brought her face into her knees to hide her tears, I’m sorry, Peridot, I shouldn’t have brought us here!”
Peridot forced a smile on her face, ““Lapis. Don’t blame yourself. We both got ourselves into this mess. Now, we just gotta find a way out. I know we will. Now. I’m getting cold,” she motioned Lapis over, “C’mon, you should be a lot colder than me.”
Lapis reluctantly walked around the fire to her, avoiding the sight of Peridot’s bandages, and lied down next to her, “Are you doing ok?”
She smiled, “I’m in a lot of pain, Lapis,” her arm came around Lapis’s shoulder, “But right now, I’m with you. You know, when we were back home, I was feeling really lonely not spending enough time with you. Some days, I would hide in my work’s bathroom and cry cause, I missed you. I know the easy answer to that woulda been just texting you, but. I don’t know, I would always feel this in my gut when I started drafting a text that, it would feel fake. All I could do was, just a text?” she shook her head, “Like all the time I could make for my girlfriend was a text? What a joke,” she rested her head on Lapis’s shoulder, “I know I sounded really opposed to this trip but, I was really happy too. Spending so much time with you? That’s like, heaven to me. Um, sleeping next to you on that plane made, my freaking heart flutter Lapis.”
Lapis stifled a laugh, “If That made your heart flutter, then how did you feel when we fucked?”
Peridot blushed and laughed, “Oh baby. There ain’t words that can describe how I felt. But uh, pretty good will have to do.”
The two of them shared a laugh, and they echoed off the walls, “I was worried that, you weren’t having fun on this trip, to be honest. Peridot, I’m really sorry that I got you this,”
“Lapis. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame anyone. It’s no one’s fault. This just happened, and we’ll deal with it. In the morning,” she looked over at Lapis’s still shivering form, “I can’t roll over and cuddle with you but, I can handle you, putting your arms over me.”
Lapis smiled and closed her eyes, “Real smooth,” she rolled herself to face Peridot and pulled herself towards her. She rested her head on her shoulder and her arms across her body, “This is nice. I think, we’ll be ok.”
Peridot planted a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek, “We are gonna be ok.”
They fell asleep, but just before, they shared one, short, cold kiss that brought heat to their hearts.
There was light pouring into the cave, and Peridot stirred before she woke. Lapis was still sleeping on her chest. Her leg hurt, but not as bad as last night. All she could do was put an arm on Lapis’s back. She trailed her fingers up and down, feeling the ridges in her spine, all while enjoying the moment while it lasted.
She did not expect to see a dog sitting beside them wagging its tail. If a young man calling for the dog hadn’t woke Lapis up, then Peridot’s shriek would have, “Oh damn! That leg looks real bad, are you ok?” he asked.
Peridot looked down at Lapis as she awakened. She smiled down at her before she told him, “We’ve never been more ok.”