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"You're a menace," says Wei Ying, narrowing her eyes at Lan Zhan, who is currently poking her awake while it’s still dark outside. She turns around to face her, resting her head on Lan Zhan’s chest. "Nobody will believe me when I say you're a menace. Absolutely no one. Why are you so nice outside."
Lan Zhan seems to consider it before carefully extricating herself from Wei Ying's grasp and getting out of bed. "Propriety."
"That wasn't a question! And come back to bed, it's a weekend and our bed is so warm." Wei Ying sighs and opens one eye to see Lan Zhan's reaction. She stretches her arms out, catching Lan Zhan’s elbow with a few fingers.
"It's already six," mumbles Lan Zhan, a little apologetically. She pats Wei Ying's hair until her elbow is set free, wondering if she could get away with ten more minutes in bed. Unfortunately, years of conditioning win out and she goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
Wei Ying sighs again, flopping her arms out on the bed. "I'm so neglected," she calls out, loud enough that Lan Zhan will definitely hear her. When Lan Zhan doesn’t come back to the bedroom, Wei Ying shakes her head and burrows deeper into the comforter.
That’s why she doesn’t wake up when Lan Zhan’s electric toothbrush makes that godforsaken infernal buzzing sound, or when the microwave beeps, or even, finally, when the doorbell rings. She’s dreaming that Lan Zhan isn’t a gremlin who pokes her in the back while they’re cuddling.
---
Lan Zhan, on the other hand, has just put the electric kettle on when the doorbell rings. She’s not expecting anyone, especially at six in the morning, so she peers out of the peephole (a terrible name, she has no idea who decided it was a good combination of letters) and is surprised to see her aunt standing there, looking generally disappointed at the world.
She opens the door quickly, bowing her head. “Auntie,” she greets through closed teeth. “Hello.”
Auntie waves a hand around, nodding. “A-Zhan.”
They stand there for a few minutes, neither of them saying a word. “I’d like to come in,” Auntie says eventually, putting a hand on her hip. She furrows her eyebrows, which has the effect of making said eyebrows look like a caterpillar. Lan Zhan is certain that it is Wei Ying’s terrible influence that makes her realize this.
“Of course, Auntie. It’s a pleasure to have you here,” says Lan Zhan, moving to the side so Auntie can come in.
Xiongzhang is going to have a field day with this when she tells him. Or maybe she shouldn’t tell him and wait until Auntie visits him and finds him piled on the couch and probably making out with Nie Mingjue. That would be fun, but Lan Zhan is not a sadist. Yet.
Speaking of Auntie, she has moved into the hallway, dangerously close to Lan Zhan’s room. Where Wei Ying is currently sleeping. In her bed.
“Auntie,” she says quickly, making her aunt turn around. “Would you like tea?”
Auntie seems surprised that Lan Zhan is making the effort to start a conversation, but she quickly takes it in stride. “Yes, that would be nice. Which teas do you have?”
Lan Zhan leads her to the kitchen, where she “accidentally” knocks over a conveniently placed glass of water on her sweater. “Oops,” she says in deadpan. “I will go change my sweater, Auntie. Feel free to choose a tea while I’m gone.”
“Hmm,” Auntie replied, considering this. “Yes. I will see your room after.”
Lan Zhan nods once and turns around before the panic reaches her eyes. She pulls the fabric of the sweater away from her skin as she power walks to her room. She’s very skilled in power walking without seeming like she’s power walking (it comes with being gay, Wei Ying tells her).
Once she gets to her room, she locks the door and pulls a chair against it. “Wei Ying,” she whispers, shaking her girlfriend awake. “You have to get up.”
Wei Ying makes the sweetest sleepy smile as she looks up at Lan Zhan, refusing to open her eyes. “Mm, don’t want to, you have to kiss me awake,” she mumbles, grabbing onto Lan Zhan’s hands.
Oh God, Lan Zhan really wishes Auntie Qiren wasn’t here so she could follow through. It takes all the self-regulation she’s been taught her entire life to sigh and pat Wei Ying’s hair once. “Family is visiting.”
Wei Ying sits up immediately, blankets falling around her waist. “Oh, shit. Yours or mine?”
“Mine.”
Wei Ying laughs, pulling Lan Zhan’s arms closer and tricking her into a hug. “Then it’s fine,” she mumbles into Lan Zhan’s neck. “Huan-ge is fine. He literally has a boyfriend.”
Lan Zhan pinches the bridge of her nose, letting her head tip forward into Wei Ying’s shoulder for exactly five seconds before looking up. “Not Xiongzhang. Auntie.”
This time, Lan Zhan can feel Wei Ying go motionless in her arms. Boneless, too, but she’s expecting that. They have barely a minute before Auntie starts wondering.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying begins, biting her lip. Lan Zhan can feel it against her neck. “Why is Lan Qiren here at six in the morning?”
“Not only that,” Lan Zhan says. “She’ll be coming to my room. We have forty-five seconds, at most. Give me your shirt.”
Wei Ying stands still as Lan Zhan pries her shirt off. It’s Lan Zhan’s shirt, absurdly oversized on Wei Ying anyways. Lan Zhan quickly throws it on and looks around the room.
As if on cue, Auntie calls out from the hallway outside the bedroom. “A-Zhan? Are you done?”
Wei Ying hisses and finally springs into action. “Window,” she says, running over to the window and looking down. She swallows and shakes her head. “No. I’ll just hide in the closet. Never mind.”
Lan Zhan takes exactly two seconds to appreciate the exact sequence of events that led to this pun before removing the chair from the door. Once she’s satisfied that no sign of Wei Ying can be found, she schools her face into a blank expression and opens the door. “Hello, Auntie.”
“Hmm,” Auntie tells him, walking into the room and beginning her inspection. “Good. You haven’t let go of your cleanliness.”
“I wouldn’t,” replies Lan Zhan indignantly, and it’s true. Even despite Wei Ying, she’s managed to keep the house incredibly neat. It’s something she prides herself on-- and it really is worthy of it. Lan Zhan has seen Wei Ying’s old dorm, the one she used to share with Wen Qing. Obviously, due to medical school, Wen Qing was far too busy to bother with neatness, and Wei Ying, just as obviously, took advantage.
Lan Zhan and Wei Ying met in middle school and were archnemeses for a grand total of two years before they realized they were, in a way, best friends and maybe it went a little deeper than that. Technically? They’d been dating since the first day of high school. College was a little harder than either of them expected, mainly due to the long-distance aspect that came into play, but they came out better than they had thought. They moved in together soon after college, when they found out they could find work in the same city.
Auntie is by Lan Zhan’s desk now, examining the two framed pictures to the side. Xiongzhang is in one of them, putting up peace signs for the cameraman while Lan Zhan stands motionless at his side.
(It was Nie Mingjue. Lan Zhan had been an absolute fool when she still thought Xiongzhang’s peace signs weren’t some type of elaborate flirting ritual. Thank God she didn’t have the second picture, in which Xiongzhang was doing goddamn finger hearts.)
The other one, unfortunately, is Lan Zhan’s only halfway straight picture of her and Wei Ying. They’re standing in a photo booth, flower leis around each of their necks. If one looks closely, they can probably see that Wei Ying's hand disappears somewhere near Lan Zhan's waist, or that Lan Zhan is only wearing absurdly big heart sunglasses because Wei Ying is holding them up with her other hand.
Luckily, Auntie just tsks and turns back around. "Frivolous," she proclaims, presumably about the picture.
"Mn," hums Lan Zhan because she really cannot be bothered with the Lan family's rules this early in the morning, especially when her girlfriend is, quite literally, hiding in the closet.
Auntie walks dangerously close to the closet, but she stops a few feet away, glaring at the poster on the closet door. It’s the full-size bunny painting Wei Ying did for her in senior year, when they were at Nie Huaisang’s house for a sleepover when Auntie was away. Xiongzhang had taken her over and now that Lan Zhan thinks about it, he probably just wanted to sleep over at Nie Mingjue’s. That bastard.
“This is… adequate.” Auntie sounds like it physically pains her to say it. “Your-- your roommate did it?”
“Mn.” Lan Zhan is so completely done with this visit.
Auntie makes a few faces (a dangerous endeavor for a Lan) and eventually decides on a confusing mixture of being disgusted and being pleased. “Hm. Don’t tell her I said it was adequate. Her ego is already too big.”
Lan Zhan clenches a fist around the phone in her pocket, in a move that Wei Ying calls “repressed gay clench”. She takes a few deep breaths. She thinks happy thoughts. Like how she and Wei Ying will go to the farmer’s market after this and recuperate. Like how her teenage years have been marred by Xiongzhang probably using her to get closer to Nie Mingjue. Like how she could probably crush Jiang Cheng’s wrist after a few more gym visits.
(This isn’t honorable. Lan Zhan knows this, and yet, the thoughts remain. To be fair, Jiang Cheng does have very small wrists, so it isn’t completely violent, really. Wei Ying could probably crush her sister’s wrist with minimal effort. Oh, my God, Lan Zhan, don’t think about Wei Ying crushing someone’s wrist in front of your auntie.)
“Auntie, did you pick out the tea?” Lan Zhan manages to say through gritted teeth.
Because the fact of the matter is this: Lan Zhan does love her aunt. Auntie raised her and Xiongzhang, even though she had no obligation to. Lan Zhan does not want to lose this one relationship, so a little lying by omission by failing to mention her attraction to women, her love for Wei Ying? It’s nothing. It’s necessary, even, to keep things sane in this house. She’s not a lesser woman because of it, only a happier one. Nobody can begrudge her this.
“Hm, yes. Green tea. Remember to keep the water from boiling,” Auntie says, sweeping out of the room. “I’ll wait for you in the living room. Your shirt seems to be backward.”
Lan Zhan allows herself to blow out a small breath through her nose as she goes to lock the door again. “Wei Ying,” she calls out softly, opening the closet door. “Wei Ying, come on.”
Wei Ying stumbles forward and drops her forehead on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. She’s wearing one of Lan Zhan’s only sweatshirts, a navy blue one that used to be Xiongzhang’s. Lan Zhan didn’t even know it was in her closet anymore.
“I don’t like aunties,” Wei Ying proclaims, snaking her arms around Lan Zhan’s waist. “Not one bit.”
Lan Zhan considers this for a moment, rubbing Wei Ying’s back. “Wei Ying. You tell me you are Mo Xuanyu’s auntie every day.”
“That’s different,” Wei Ying mumbles into Lan Zhan’s shoulder. She finally lifts her head, but it’s just so she can move it to the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck and kiss the cold skin there. “I’m a cool auntie. I’m single-handedly making up for all the terrible aunties out there. Do you remember that one auntie who sat two seats down from us at the movie theater in eleventh grade and just watched us?”
“Mn. I remember,” Lan Zhan says, gently moving Wei Ying towards the bed. It’s still early in the morning, and she has about a minute and a half until she has to go back into the hallway.
Lan Zhan has been playing the long game for a while now, in which she has convinced Auntie Qiren that it takes her absurdly long times to change her clothes. This has been going on since the last year of high school. Of course, the only other reference her aunt had was Xiongzhang, who gladly played along and-- oh my God, he was probably texting Nie Mingjue in his room, wasn’t he?
However, Lan Zhan refuses to waste her moments with Wei Ying thinking about her godforsaken older brother and his terrible meat-eating boyfriend, so she tugs Wei Ying over to the bed and sits down, pulling Wei Ying in for a hug.
“Lan Zhan, darling, I am very small and I have no money and I just had to hide in a closet while waiting for your aunt--the stuff of nightmares--to leave your own room. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan agrees, stroking Wei Ying’s hair lightly. “You are very small. How do you suggest we remedy that?”
“You let me latch onto you like a barnacle for two hours. Preferably in bed under a blanket,” Wei Ying replies, already starting her master plan by wrapping her arms around Lan Zhan’s shoulders and smashing her head into Lan Zhan’s shoulder, kissing it lightly. Suddenly, she looks up in concern, tapping her nose twice. “Hey, wait, I’m not actually very small, am I? Am I tall? Very tall for my Lan Zhan?”
“You are an inch taller than average height, Wei Ying. That is tall,” Lan Zhan obliges, maneuvering Wei Ying’s arms and legs so that they’re lying down. Half a minute left. “Also, Auntie is still in the house. Waiting for tea.”
Wei Ying goes boneless again, but this time, Lan Zhan is ready for it. She places Wei Ying in the bed, pulling up the weighted blanket on top of her. “Sleep. We will go to the farmer’s market after she leaves.”
“You have to tuck me in,” Wei Ying replies, trying to hide a smile at the mention of the farmer’s market. “And lock the door, so that there’s no reason Auntie Qiren will come in and, like, throw me out of my own house.”
Lan Zhan is happy to help. She tucks the blanket in under Wei Ying’s shoulders and leans down to place a kiss on each of her cheeks. “Goodnight, Wei Ying. I will see you soon.”
Wei Ying is already falling asleep, but she rolls her eyes fondly and jabs her head towards Lan Zhan’s chest. “Shirt is still backwards,” she says, smiling. “Go quick so I can become a barnacle again.”
Lan Zhan changes her shirt quickly. Then, because she really can’t resist, she leans down and pokes Wei Ying, who makes an annoyed sound in her sleep but ultimately doesn’t wake up. And then, because it has been a few seconds more than the time she’s entitled to, she locks the door and power-walks down the hallway.
“A-Zhan,” Auntie Qiren greets with a nod. “I’ll be on my way after tea.”
“Mn,” replies Lan Zhan before a chill runs down her back. “Will you be visiting Xiongzhang?”
Lan Zhan probably has one of the best relationships with her older sibling out of everyone she knows, except perhaps Wei Ying and her older sister. It can be argued that it is due to losing their parents at an early age, or Xiongzhang being the only one able to read Lan Zhan’s expressions before Wei Ying, or even being raised by Auntie. That’s all part of it, technically, but Lan Zhan thinks that the decision they made in high school, to come out to each other but no one else, is one of the leading factors. He’s the only one she trusts in her family with this and she’s the only one he trusts with this.
Perhaps it says something that he is the only family member she still calls by their Mandarin address. Technically, Auntie should be Guma. It’s an act of rebellion, really, that neither Lan Zhan nor her brother call her that. Or maybe it says something about them. Lan Zhan wishes, once again, that being born in America wasn’t so confusing.
“Yes, probably,” Auntie says, picking up the cup of tea Lan Zhan has slid over the counter. She tastes it, tilting her head. “Hm. Adequate.”
Lan Zhan does not expect compliments from Auntie anymore. It had been rough, to say the least, in high school. Their family had never been big on affection and pride, and it got hard sometimes. A lot of times. She can’t count the number of times she’s broken down in Xiongzhang’s room because of it. Oh no, Lan Zhan, stop thinking about sad things. Lan Zhan thinks of Nie Mingjue ordering a rare steak last time they went for dinner and feels ready to face Auntie again.
“Thank you,” she answers finally. “I am glad.”
Auntie sips her tea slowly, which is rather annoying. This is Wei Ying’s influence again, definitely. Lan Zhan makes a note to call Xiongzhang as soon as Auntie leaves so she can warn him and potentially Nie Mingjue, if he’s there. Which he definitely will be.
“I’ll be going now, A-Zhan,” Auntie says once she finished her tea. Lan Zhan is ready to almost rejoice by letting her lips tilt up just a bit. Unfortunately, Auntie gets one of those curious looks on her face. “Where’s your useless roommate?”
“Sleeping.” Lan Zhan does not lie, and she is certainly not about to start now. She doesn’t even clench her fists at the “useless” this time, which is a show of great self-regulation for Lan Zhan.
“Hm,” replies Auntie. “That’s to be expected, I suppose.”
“Wei Ying is very successful,” Lan Zhan says. She wonders if her teeth will take on permanent damage from gritting them together so much. She decides to ask Wen Qing this later. “She needs sleep.”
Auntie does not reply to this, because to do so would be to admit that Wei Ying is, in fact, successful. She was the top of her class, and now she’s a programmer with some small company that pays very well, and all of it was despite the fact that the Jiangs had basically disowned her in terms of money. She’s independent, and Lan Zhan respects that about her.
Lan Zhan derives a certain pleasure from bragging about her girlfriend, but she closes her eyes and moves her head towards the door. “Goodbye, then, Auntie. It was nice to see you.”
And that’s this thing: it was nice to see her. It had been six months since she had last seen Auntie. Sure, it would have been much better if Auntie had not interrupted her morning with her girlfriend without mentioning it ahead of time, but it was fine. This was how her family interacted. She has had twenty five years to get used to it.
Auntie leaves with another tsk and Lan Zhan locks the door behind her, taking a deep breath and pulling out her phone. She power-walks towards her room and unlocks the door using a quarter from her pocket. “Wei Ying?” she asks softly, dialing Xiongzhang.
Wei Ying makes an annoyed sound, eyes fluttering open. “Lan Zhan,” she whines, arms reaching out. “Come here, I need to become a barnacle.”
And really, how can Lan Zhan be expected to deny her girlfriend that? She gets into bed, waiting as Wei Ying moves Lan Zhan’s limbs around until she's satisfied. Eventually, Wei Ying is almost completely sprawled on top of Lan Zhan, legs entangled and Wei Ying's head resting in the crook of her neck.
"I need to call Xiongzhang," Lan Zhan murmurs into Wei Ying's hair, reaching for the phone that has been forgotten on the side of the bed.
"Why?"
"Auntie is going over right now." This is what makes Wei Ying reluctantly move her arm so that Lan Zhan can reach her phone and nobody else has to hide in the closet.
For some inane reason, Xiongzhang communicates with Lan Zhan solely through WhatsApp. He's really a disappointment to all millennials. The main issue with WhatsApp, at least to Lan Zhan, is that you can quickly turn a voice call into a video call, which is exactly what Xiongzhang does.
"A-Zhan!" He seems delighted to see his sister, and Lan Zhan supposes she is excited to see him as well. Even if Nie Mingjue is most definitely just out of frame.
As if on cue, a gruff voice asks Xiongzhang what he's doing this early in the morning. And-- oh God, Nie Mingjue is actually below the frame, what the hell, Xiongzhang.
"Is that Wei Ying?" Xiongzhang asks, grinning. His hair is messy, and Auntie will definitely not let him hear the end of it if she walks in on him like that.
Wei Ying turns her head slightly to smile at Xiongzhang before tucking it back in Lan Zhan’s neck. "Hello, Huan-ge. How are you?"
"I'm good! Very good, Mingjue says hi to you."
There's a scuffle at the other end of the call, and Lan Zhan has to turn up to volume to hear what's going on. It mostly has to do with Nie Mingjue saying "I don't say hi to that gremlin, I don't even know where he left my sibling yesterday, Xichen."
"They're fine. Huaisang is at Jiang Cheng's apartment," Wei Ying pipes up, a little mischievously. "They're probably still there now."
Nie Mingjue shows up on frame, seemingly in the same barnacle position that Wei Ying is in. Lan Zhan never wanted to know about this, but the world has no pity for her. "Tell my terrible sibling and your idiot sister to answer my texts, then," he says to Wei Ying before promptly disappearing from the screen.
Lan Zhan supposes that a completely rational hatred of Jiang Cheng is something that can bring people together, so she almost looks forward to plotting with her brother's boyfriend.
"Auntie is coming to your house," Lan Zhan says quickly, before she forgets the purpose of this call. "She came to ours. Wei Ying hid in the closet."
Wei Ying nods enthusiastically. "Mingjue-ge, leave before you have to hide in the closet too. I don't think you'll fit. Maybe you can hide under the bed."
Nie Mingjue sticks his middle finger up at Wei Ying. "I'll go to my own room, idiot. Besides, their aunt likes me fine."
Lan Zhan would have been insulted on Wei Ying's behalf if he hadn't known that Nie Mingjue showed his affection in insults. She had found this out when he punched Huaisang in the shoulder and called them a bastard while looking at them fondly. Lan Zhan does not understand Nie Mingjue.
Wei Ying sticks her tongue out at Nie Mingjue. “See if I ever tell you about Huaisang again. They’ll get married to Jiang Cheng and you won’t be able to stop them.”
The doorbell rings on the other side of the call and Xiongzhang lets out a very undignified yelp. “I don’t have a shirt on,” he realizes with growing horror. “Mingjue, where’s my shirt? You need to go to your own room. I need to make my bed. I don’t have time. Oh no. Lan Zhan, goodbye, we’ll see you for lunch today.”
Lan Zhan nods and ends the call, burying her face in Wei Ying’s shoulder. “Wei Ying,” she says. “I am warning you.”
“Warning me for what?” Wei Ying mumbles. She shifts so that they’re somehow even closer together.
“I love your shoulder very much, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan replies. Nobody can say she did not warn her girlfriend this time, so she cannot be blamed for the inhuman sound Wei Ying makes this time.
“Wake me up in an hour so we can go to the farmer’s market,” Wei Ying says once she’s recovered. Her cheeks are still red, but she remedies that by shifting down and hiding her face in Lan Zhan’s hip.
---
After an hour, Lan Zhan wakes Wei Ying up by poking her back. Wei Ying mumbles in her sleep, scrunching her face closer into Lan Zhan's hip. "Don't want to," she mutters, already reaching up to pat Lan Zhan's cheek.
"Farmer's market," Lan Zhan says simply.
It has the intended effect, and Wei Ying shoots up, almost ramming her head into Lan Zhan's chin. "That wasn't a dream?"
"A dream?" Lan Zhan asks, removing the blankets so they can get out of bed. Wei Ying does not move, of course, but she does sit up in a proper position, thinking hard.
"It was the craziest dream. Auntie Qiren was here," Wei Ying says, laughing. "I had to hide in the closet."
"Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan replies, changing into actual jeans. "Not a dream."
Wei Ying is silent, a rare occurrence. Lan Zhan stares at her, more than a little worried. She didn't think she would ever forgive herself if she had broken her girlfriend.
And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the silence ends as Wei Ying doubles over in laughter. "Lan Zhan," she gasps between laughs. "I hid in the closet."
Lan Zhan smiles and then ducks her head. "Get ready. The kabobs will run out."
---
They take the train into the suburbs for the farmer's market. Jiang Cheng calls, but Lan Zhan specifically shuts off her phone because she hates her girlfriend's sister. Jiang Cheng calls again, but Wei Ying actually picks up because she loves her sister.
Surprisingly (or perhaps unsurprisingly), Nie Huaisang is on the other side of the phone. They seem inebriated, and they are mainly concerned with telling Wei Ying they love her dearly over and over again.
"You love my sister more," Wei Ying teases, leaning her head on Lan Zhan's shoulder.
Nie Huaisang makes a sad sound. "Your sister is hot, Ying-jie, you can't blame me."
"Why would you talk to me about how hot my sister is?" Wei Ying complains. "Would you tell Lan Zhan how hot her brother is?"
Lan Zhan is reminded of The Incident, the one that traumatized teenage Lan Zhan into hating Nie Mingjue forever. It isn't completely related, but she did have to sit next to Nie Mingjue while he waxed poetic about her brother. Mainly about a certain body part of his, which Lan Zhan had absolutely no interest in hearing about.
"It must be a Nie family thing," Lan Zhan tells her girlfriend, making sure to be loud enough that Nie Huaisang will hear.
"Zhan-jie, listen, I love you too. We're going to be siblings-in-law, isn't that cool?" Nie Huaisang sounds way too loud. They cough, and make that scuffling sound they make when they try to wink while they're hungover. Lan Zhan hates that she knows that. "Aha, in two ways if I'm lucky."
"Please don't marry Jiang Cheng to become related to me," Lan Zhan says, hand reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Wei Ying catches it and entangles their fingers, smiling.
Wei Ying has a good-sized wrist. Lan Zhan has never once entertained the idea that she could crush Wei Ying’s wrist, because it is a good wrist. No Jiang genes were involved-- or Yu genes, she supposes, since Yu Ziyuan has thin wrists as well. Lan Zhan wonders if she could crush Yu Ziyuan’s wrist and decides it would be almost worth it if it didn’t hurt Jiang Yanli, because Jiang Yanli was an angel who deserved the world.
This is not a new thought. Lan Zhan has wanted to say many choice things to Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian since they virtually disowned Wei Ying. Unfortunately, there is the matter of Jiang Yanli, who would be sad. And Jiang Cheng, Lan Zhan supposes-- even if she’d be satisfied at Jiang Cheng’s pain, Wei Ying would be very sad.
Nie Mingjue had offered to intimidate the Jiangs last year. It remains the only positive memory Lan Zhan has of Nie Mingjue and she’d like to keep it that way.
Speaking of the Nies, the younger one is currently whining on the phone about how they love their brother. Lan Zhan reaches over and cuts the call.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying says in delighted shock, squeezing Lan Zhan’s hand. “You’re so mean to Huaisang. They are also under a lot of stress.”
Lan Zhan is suddenly glad that she never groans due to the stressful conditioning of her childhood. “Wei Ying. You are the same height as Huaisang. Neither of you are shorter than average.”
Wei Ying sighs and sticks her tongue out at Lan Zhan. Combined with the odd of a studded leather jacket (Wen Qing's), beige floral scarf (Mianmian's), and red flannel shirt (possibly Wen Ning's, it's unclear) that Wei Ying is wearing, it's almost amusing. Lan Zhan smiles a little bit, making Wei Ying groan and hide her face in Lan Zhan's shoulder.
"Zhan-jiejie," mumbles Wei Ying, free hand coming to rest on Lan Zhan's thigh. "You have to take responsibility for this. It's your smile that did it to me."
"Mn," Lan Zhan agrees. "What do you suggest?"
Wei Ying makes a show of considering it before smiling widely. "You have to buy me pastries! Those cheese ones that say they're strudel!"
"I would have bought you them regardless."
---
They reach a few hours before closing time, walking hand-in-hand through the street. They have a system for the farmer’s market: pastries, kabobs, and then anything else. Every few minutes, Wei Ying grabs Lan Zhan’s shoulder and pulls her over to a different stall, yelling “Lan Zhan!” with such joy that Lan Zhan would buy the entire stall if it made her girlfriend happy.
By the end, they’re stocked up with four slices of strudel, a doner kabob for Wei Ying, and a large tub of hummus that Wei Ying insisted they buy. It’s for Lan Zhan, who can eat hummus by the spoonful if she ever feels so inclined. It’s the good hummus too, not any of that cilantro jalapeno hummus that Nie Mingjue likes.
It’s while they’re sitting down in the grass, eating pastries with Wei Ying’s head on Lan Zhan’s lap, that Lan Zhan realizes she wants to do this for the rest of her life. “Wei Ying,” she says slowly, running a hand through her girlfriend’s hair.
Wei Ying stops the story she’s telling, something about how Jin Ling had grabbed her finger before he had grabbed Jiang Cheng’s, to look up at Lan Zhan and smile, showing all her teeth. “What’s up?”
“We should skip lunch.”
Wei Ying sits up and squints at Lan Zhan. “Did Auntie Qiren do something to you? Switch you out with a different Lan Zhan? Poison you?” she asks, reaching out and resting her hand on Lan Zhan’s cheek.
Lan Zhan leans into the touch, letting her lips tilt up just a bit. “No. But Nie Mingjue will be there.”
“I know! Isn’t it great?” replies Wei Ying, sighing a little dreamily. “He could crush me with his biceps and I would thank him. Also, Huaisang will be there!”
“Wei Ying, he is my brother’s boyfriend,” Lan Zhan says, although it’s not pained because this is quite possibly the hundredth time Wei Ying has sighed about Nie Mingjue’s biceps. She’s learned to ignore it by now. “If Huaisang is there, your sister will be as well.”
“Ah,” Wei Ying answers, realizing. “Well, we can’t have my Lan Zhan in the same room as Mingjue-ge and Jiang Cheng, can we?”
“Mn,” agrees Lan Zhan, pulling Wei Ying back into her arms. “Would not be good for anyone.”
“And it’s probably not a vegetarian restaurant, so he’ll probably order rare meat. Jiang Cheng will order something you can’t eat just to be petty. I think you’re right, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying mutters, leaning her head against Lan Zhan’s chest. “We should just stay here forever. Then Auntie Qiren couldn’t ever find us and nobody would have to hide in closets or deal with any Nie siblings.”
“Mn,” replies Lan Zhan with feeling, considering whether it was worth it to text Xiongzhang. She decides it isn’t worth getting up and grabbing her phone, so she settles back into the grass and runs a few fingers through Wei Ying’s hair. Then, for good measure, Lan Zhan pokes Wei Ying in the back.
Wei Ying yelps and narrows her eyes at Lan Zhan. “You’re a menace,” she says, pouting before hiding a smile behind her hand. “But you’re my menace.”