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"I'll see you later...father."
The words rattled around in Eivor's mind, prodding at old thoughts she'd long since pushed from her mind.
They hadn't bothered her since she left Norway. And yet here, now, they came boiling to the surface.
"Father…"
It felt strange on her tongue. She wasn't accustomed to saying it without the accompaniment of "coward" anymore. The only times her father entered her mind were recounts of shame and anger...and perhaps, as Eivor sat staring at her father's axe, sorrow.
In her mind's eye, she replayed the events of that fateful night. The sounding of the horns, the battle against Kjotve's men, Varin foolishly believing that the lives of everyone else might be spared.
That's how he lived on in Eivor's mind. A fool. A coward. A shameful scar on her past.
And yet...for the first time since then, for the first time since she was that young girl, Eivor felt her eyes grow wet.
Because as much as she'd like to deny it, as much as she had the past 18 winters, the fact of the matter was she missed Varin. She missed her father.
"Eivor?"
She stirred to attention at the sound of Randvi's voice. She looked over her shoulder to see her concerned eyes glancing over her.
"You've been deadly silent, staring at that." Randvi took a seat beside Eivor on the ground. "Dare I expect an answer as to what you're thinking?"
Eivor gave a half-smile. "You know me too well."
"Just well enough, I'd think. But," Randvi continued as she looked in her eyes, "that also means I know being so far away from the longhouse at this time of night and moping in the grass is unlike you."
A long sigh. "Like I said, too well."
Randvi's arm was around her shoulders, thumb tracing gently over her tattoos. "You do not have to tell me. But I am here if you wish to."
Like Eivor could ever keep things from Randvi.
"I...spoke with a man. A farmer, living alone." Eivor's brow furrowed. "His eyes were going. He mistook me for his daughter, though I tried to correct him.
"He…" She shook her head. "He was kind. I got the sense he must be a very good father. That his daughter must love him dearly. It was nice, in spite of his confusion."
Eivor's eyes leveled once more on Varin's axe.
Randvi's gaze followed, and she hummed in thought. "And your mind could not help but stray to your own father."
"...Yes."
"You have not thought much of him since Norway, have you?"
"There has been no need." Eivor closed her eyes to stop the prickle building up behind them. "The honor he tainted was regained. Why should my mind be troubled by that coward?"
"Coward though he may have been in the end…you have joyous memories of him, do you not?"
A long, hard silence fell between them.
Randvi started to withdraw her arm, before Eivor's hand caught hers and held it in place. The moonlight was enough for Randvi to see the tears glistening in her eyes as she met her gaze.
"I do," Eivor finally spoke. "Joy. And warmth. And love."
A soft smile played on Randvi's lips. "And it is okay to miss him, and that love."
That was the first time Randvi had ever seen Eivor cry. A statuesque face, tear-stained and terribly beautiful under the night sky.
"And I do." Eivor's voice was little more then a whisper. "I do."
She did not resist as Randvi pulled her head to her chest, as Randvi's fingers ran through her hair, as she swore for a brief moment she felt Randvi's lips against her temple, though that last one she would perhaps leave to the late hour and her unusual vulnerability.
"And he would be proud of who you've become, Eivor."
"A warrior?"
"Yes. But also a leader. And a dear friend."
"...Randvi?"
"What is it?"
"...Thank you."
Eivor knew it was not her sorrow-addled brain this time as Randvi kissed her temple once more.
"There is no need for that. You have done the same for me."
"Still. I am grateful for you."
"And I you."
Eivor cleared her throat. "I know it is late, but...would you mind if we stayed out here a moment longer?"
"Not at all. As long as you need. I am here."
Eivor grasped Randvi's free hand loosely. Her heart still ached, but she felt strangely at peace. More than she had in a while. As though her worries could wait for now.
Though she did not mean to, she dozed against Randvi, lulled by the steady rhythm of her breath, the sturdy beat of her heart.
And Randvi did not mind. With Eivor relaxed in her arms, she leaned back onto the cool earth and gazed up at the stars.
The kiss was ill-advised, but...Eivor would not remember in the morn. Even if she did, it was innocent enough. This moment they shared was enough.
Just for now, Randvi thought. Let me have this moment, just for now.