Chapter Text
“Just fucking pray that you’ll get a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the fucking roof!”
Izuku flinched, his body going into shock. He knew that Kacchan lacked tact but even this was completely unexpected. Normally he could handle the kicking and punching, the relentless mocking. But being told to commit suicide? That was a bit far even for Kacchan. And the boy didn’t seem like he cared about the line he had just crossed.
With the tears forming at the corners of his eyes and the numbness washing over him, Izuku wished more than anything in the world to just sink into the floor and pretend that nothing was wrong. He wanted people to believe him when he stated he wasn’t ‘quirkless’.
He knew that Kacchan just wanted to protect him, even he could see that. So why did this hurt so much? Did Kacchan want to protect him or did he really think that hurting ‘quirkless’ colorblind Deku was the best thing to do?
He couldn’t lift his eyes from the linoleum floor as Kacchan and his lackeys sauntered out of the classroom laughing, the words echoing in his head.
What if suicide was the best thing to do? What if Kacchan was right?
But even if he wanted to, which he wasn’t sure, would that just hurt both Kacchan and his mother in the end? He did have other people he’d been helping too. What about them? He couldn’t leave them behind…Could he?
Izuku realized that he had been standing there for what was probably several minutes doing nothing but trying to control the wild thoughts, like a chaotic thunderstorm, racing through his head. He felt himself numbly walk towards the window to see where his notebook had landed, unable to put on the cheerful act as he normally did (there was nobody left in the room but that didn’t matter).
And just his luck, his precious notebook had fallen right in the koi pond.
Izuku was so tired of all of this.
He decided to take the long way home, giving himself enough time to contemplate his entire existence before having to deal with his mother. It’s not like he hated her, of course, he loved his mother. But he couldn’t handle her, especially on difficult days. It was suffocating at home, not being able to have a second of privacy. She thought he was a porcelain doll, fragile, and could break into millions of pieces in seconds. So what if he couldn’t see most of the color spectrum? So what if everyone thought he was quirkless?
He wasn’t weaker than anybody else. Sure he couldn’t see color and yes, he didn’t seem to possess a quirk. But it didn’t mean he was defenseless. He may have a scrawny body but he could still punch and kick, his limbs worked just perfectly fine. And if he couldn’t do that, he had enough smarts to see people and analyze their quirks. He certainly had more determination than some heroes.
And then, he couldn’t breathe. Surrounded by an ugly, dark grey blob, Izuku struggled to move. It was impossible to yell for help as the...slime (he couldn’t tell what it was) covered his mouth. Without letting the slime fill his mouth, his screams were muffled. His lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, practically begging for the sweet relief of air.
He was going to die. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to die, no matter how much life seemed to hate him. He hadn’t become a real hero yet. He still had people to save! No. No. No. NO! NOT YET!
Suddenly the burning went away. The grey disappeared from his blurred vision.
Had he... died?
Surely not, but he couldn’t tell. Not when a huge gust of wind launched him into the air alongside the slime. A flash of grey flickered in his vision just as his lungs gave up on trying to breathe and the world went dark. It felt like ages later as Izuku woke up to a booming, deep voice that he immediately recognized.
A-All Might?
Was All Might really in front of him? Izuku shut his eyes tightly, he couldn’t see All Might. He just couldn’t nor did he want to. He knew the moment he opened his eyes, his expectations would run down the drain. He had to hold onto any hope he had left or else…he had no chance. He’s the number one hero. Should I ask him?
All Might grinned at Izuku, one hand on his hip and the other hand holding a soda bottle. While Izuku was unconscious, All Might had captured and shoved the villain into that bottle before making sure Izuku was ok. With a brief glance to Izuku, All Might huffed gently. “Well I must leave and take this villain to the police.”
And with that All Might put the villain into his back jean pocket, his legs bending for a take off. Izuku’s body tensed up, scrambling to get off the concrete. His palms felt itchy from the gravel but he needed to talk to All Might.
“Wait, already?” Doesn’t he need to take down a witness statement? Make sure I get home safe? Or at least call for a policeman to come and take me home?
“I’m counting on your continued support! Goodbye citizen.” Shit. Izuku started running towards All Might’s voice, his hands reaching out and grabbing onto whatever fabric was closest, holding on as tight as possible. They took off, the wind tousling Izuku’s hair. All Might noticed the sudden increase in weight and frowned, glancing around for a rooftop to land on.
“Hey hey I need you to let go!” boomed All Might, his hand going to Izuku’s head.
“I... have... a question… to ask you directly!” Izuku kept his eyes closed as an extra measure due to how fast they were going. His grip was loosening slightly. He heard a sigh as they kept soaring in the air. As they landed, Izuku stumbled as he let go. This was dangerous and he felt stupid. He was on a random rooftop, unable to see because he didn’t want to see All Might. If he wasn’t careful something would definitely go wrong.
“Good grief!” The number one hero exclaimed, “Young man you shouldn’t do that. Now I’m sure you can get down by yourself, correct? If you talk to the people downstairs, I’m sure they’ll let you down.”
“Wait! Um..” Izuku had to ask. He had to know otherwise he would regret letting this opportunity pass him by. But what he didn’t (couldn’t) see was All Might frowning as Izuku struggled to get his words out.
“No, I’m sorry but I can’t wait. I have to turn this villain in right now.”
Turning his hands into fists, Izuku clenched his teeth as he listened to All Might before spitting out his words. “Can I be a hero? Even if I don’t have a flashy quirk?”
Please don’t be like the others. Tell me I’m worthy of being a hero. Tell me I’m not wasting my time holding on to the only thing that might make me happy.
Silence. The wind picked up, ruffling his hair as he waited. His mouth fell open to ask again but he heard a noise, as if a balloon had deflated. So he peeked but his vision was clouded by a hazy fog. Smoke? He waved his hands around and helped the smoke dissipate, a tall lanky figure appearing in his sight. Who was this? “So... are you All Might?”
All Might fidgeted as Izuku focused on him. Hmm All Might considered himself surprisingly dark, though he was really light in his heart. It was an interesting contrast that made Izuku wonder why the difference. All Might turned to face Izuku fully, freezing as he coughed, letting out a heavy spray of blood. Holy shit, was that really blood?
“I assure you that I am All-” He coughed again, wiping the blood off his bottom lip with a handkerchief. “All Might.”
“Are you ok? Do you need some help?”
All Might shook his head, giving Izuku a shallow grin. “I’m good thanks. But as for my body, you know how guys in the pool are always sucking in and flexing when they’re trying to look buff? I’m like that.”
What a weird way for All Might to say it like that but he guessed it sort of made sense. Either way he saw something he probably shouldn’t have. “I-I have to be dreaming!”
All Might waggled his finger at Izuku, looking stern. “I’m counting on you to keep your mouth quiet young man. I’m trusting that this won’t go online or that you’ll gossip with your friends.” Suddenly All Might lifted his shirt, revealing a tilted and bruised scar across his side. It reminded Izuku of every horror movie he had seen when someone had been torn apart by a chainsaw. It gave him shivers just thinking someone could harm All Might this terribly. Oh God.
Settling his shirt back down All Might sighed. “Pretty gross, right? I got this in a big fight five years back. My respiratory system was destroyed and my entire stomach had to be removed. All the surgeries have pretty much worn me out and it can’t be fixed. Right now, I can only do hero work for three hours a day, the rest of the time this is what I look like.”
Thinking about All Might’s fights over the years, he gasped. “Was it the fight with Toxic Chainsaw?” Was Izuku right about the weapon? Holy Might! Unbelievable.
All Might looked impressed. “Wow, kid, you know your stuff, but no. The punk could’ve landed some hits but he couldn’t bring me down. Most of the world has never heard of this fight. I did everything I could to keep it under wraps.” All Might’s color darkened slightly and Izuku finally realized that he opened his eyes fully.
“I’m supposed to be the guy that always smiles. I’m the Symbol of Peace. People everywhere have to think I’m never afraid. But honestly, I smile to hide the fear inside. It’s just a brave face I put on with the pressure on me. This job isn’t easy. Pro heroes are always risking their lives to save others and some villains just can’t be beaten without a quirk. So to answer your question, no. I honestly don’t think you could become a hero without a quirk. If you want to really help others, there are plenty of ways to do it. You could become a police officer. They don’t get the recognition they deserve because heroes capture most of the villains, but it’s a fine profession.” All Might’s color darkened more, but just slightly. “It’s not bad to have a dream, young man. Just make sure your dreams are attainable and realistic, understand?”
“Ah.. I see.” Izuku faced his head to the ground. In the end All Might gave him an answer to the real question, the one he had asked in his mind and not outloud. He shouldn’t have expected anything different. And with those parting words, All Might left him alone on the roof, the rooftop door closing soundly behind him.
Kacchan’s words echoed in his head as he stared off into the distant horizon of buildings.
He did his best to ignore that little part of him that thought the pavement had never looked so appealing.
After staring blankly at buildings for several minutes and eventually making his way to the street below (his mind working to chase away the numb feeling that seemed to have washed over him), he heard a loud explosion blocks away. His heart leaped at the thought of a hero fight but his mind refused to be excited about it. And while his mind and heart were battling, his instincts drove his feet toward the raging scene.
The numbness vanished immediately as Izuku took in what seemed to be an innocent person being suffocated by the slime that had almost killed him just minutes before. The slime looked horrific with its grey color that veered dark, towards being inky black. This villain wouldn’t hesitate to kill and it was obvious he had done it before. That thought haunted him alongside the returning feeling of being violated and suffocated himself. He wanted to curl up and cry but something had to be done. Someone had to step up as he glanced around.
He assessed the situation, spying the heroes off to the side as they pushed the citizens away while keeping an eye on the villain. But as the minutes passed by and the heroes continued to do nothing, Izuku grew angry. Yes these heroes and their quirks weren’t exactly suited for this battle but they could have fought hand to hand until someone else showed up for backup. Each of the heroes (Kamui Wood, Backdraft, Death Arms) on the scene were a light grey, but still much darker than any hero ever should be. It seemed that they were all more concerned with their inability to use their quirks than the other actions they could take to save a child. He held back a snarl by gritting his teeth in anger.
“So these heroes are all useless without their quirks, are they?” he whispered, seething. And All Might probably thought these were such great heroes. Izuku snorted, What a fucking joke. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed someone flinch. The sudden movement made him whip his head around and stare directly at a deflated All Might. Speak of the devil.
So the number one hero was just as pathetic as the rest of these heroes? His shade might have been lighter than the other heroes, but it had darkened since he had seen it last. He wished that he had never seen All Might’s shade. He wished that All Might had never said those words. He wished that he had chosen to live with curiosity rather than have his dreams crushed. He wished he could have stayed ignorant of how society has failed. But then... that would make him just as pathetic as everyone else. A coward.
Returning his gaze back to the victim, Izuku realized that they were probably mere seconds from passing out from lack of oxygen. But as he pushed through the crowd, narrowing his eyes more, his eyes widened (in fear, in anger, in surprise) as he realized who was so close to dying. He could recognize that shade of grey anywhere. In an instant, his mind slipped into the familiarity of running calculations and scenarios, concluding that the villain’s eyes were still as solid as his own, despite the villain’s body being made of slime.
The eyes. Target the eyes then pull Kacchan out while he’s distracted.
In one fluid motion (that he had originally perfected in order to slip out of his backpack to avoid being restrained or strangled by bullies), he removed his backpack and spun around. He used gravity to lean back and build more upward momentum in a single spin before releasing the handle from his grip and watching the bag fly directly into the villain’s eyes.
The slime reared back, stopping momentarily from shoving his liquid body down Kacchan’s throat, and yelped in pain. In that two-second window, Izuku surged forward, grabbing Kacchan’s wrist. Unfortunately, he tripped on a rock in the unfamiliar environment and his momentum launched Kacchan over himself as they tumbled backwards. After hissing in pain, Izuku pried his eyes open, realizing that he had accidentally put himself closer to the villain while Kacchan was groaning, but closer to the crowd.
The panic just began to bubble in his chest as the villain shot towards him, shouting curses and insults. “You stupid kid!” One slime blob lashed out in a blind rage. But just as the villain was about to reach him, a familiar gust of wind blew past him and splattered the villain into the sky. His heart refused to stop pounding even after he realized that they were safe.
At first, his heart soared at the realization that he had just saved Kacchan, granted All Might did have to cover his ass for him to do so, but it wasn’t like any of the other heroes were doing anything. Unfortunately, that line up included All Might himself. His euphoric high crashed and burned with disgust as the so-called heroes who had stood by while a child was being suffocated, began to scold him for risking his life when they learned he didn’t have a quirk. They had the situation handled just fine without him making it worse by endangering his own life? Yeah, right. They probably couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag.
He really wanted to punch something. He wouldn’t mind letting Death Arms taste his fist but he knew that he shouldn’t. Don’t get him wrong, he would easily do it in a heartbeat but Izuku just didn’t feel like going to the police station today. He could hear his mother’s words now and it was easier to just tune out the heroes who were verbally attacking him. He risked a glance at Kacchan as the other heroes were praising Kacchan for his bravery but was only met with the back of his head, his friend refusing to spare him a single glance.
Once the ‘heroes’ felt like they had abused his ears enough, he was allowed to go home. Nobody insisted that he be checked by the paramedics, or that his mother is called. Izuku got absolutely nothing done for him. But he didn’t exactly feel like speaking up about the broken protocol either. He sighed, resigned that he would never be treated the same as everyone else. He would always be treated as less, even if he wasn’t ‘quirkless.’
Izuku let his feet take him home as his mind wandered. He didn't often let his mind retreat from reality, but unfortunately, all he could think about was the echoing words of his two inspirations, mocking him relentlessly. He passed an intersection, pausing at the fact that there was nobody around for blocks. It was almost impossible since there was always some kind of commuter, student, or otherwise. His mind reasoned that staying there an hour later would affect who walked by but his heart felt heavier at the realization that he was still utterly alone. Even if it was just a street.
...Damn he really didn’t want to go home.