Chapter Text
This situation was complicated. It always had been, and this most recent adventure had not helped it to become any better. That damn little devil had shown up with his bridal photo shoot, and set every one of the seven brothers into a tizzy.
Worse, it gave them some serious ideas, and showed some equally serious consequences. Up until now, we’d just danced around the topic of having to select a permanent partner. Nobody wanted to risk not being chosen, and so, nobody had forced me into choosing. But even just asking which one I wanted to be my PRETEND husband in a Photo Shoot degraded into an all out brawl. (Initiated by LUCIFER of all people!) However, the question that had been raised would not leave the back of my mind.
What would happen if I actually picked one to commit to? It could cause some serious problems between the Seven Demon Lords. Which, of course, would have serious side effects across all of Devildom. ALL OF DEVILDOM COULD FALL. But how much longer could I avoid making a choice? Especially now that the idea of me settling down was so fresh in everyone’s minds. Not to mention that vicious fight…
After all, everyone’s proposals had been so sweet and uniquely them. If I had been pressed, who would I even pick?
Beelzebub had made a cake, and hidden a ring inside. Then he watched with great self control he didn’t usually have, to not share the cake with me, until I eventually found the ring inside. For him to avoid helping himself to sweet cake, was a real commitment. That was such a sacrifice, especially from our demon of Gluttony. I couldn't get his sincere voice out of my head.
“Because everything tastes better with you…”
But Satan had made a BOOK. An actual picture book that told the story of a person overcoming adversity to be together with their soulmate. Just like the two of them had been the whole time. It was a wonderful adventure, for the both of them. And the promise of more…
“Will you continue to make wonderful stories with me?”
Asmodeus had put some serious thought into his though. It was deeply emotional. Each of the roses he gave me at the end of the little letter based scavenger hunt, had a specific meeting. Everything he had to offer me, in a package as beautiful as he was. Gratitude, Honesty, Happiness, Trust, Hope, Love, Passion, Sincerity, Respect, Glory, Partnership… and Eternity. Then something as rare as could be. A vow, from Asmodeus, to another person. Not for power, not for sex, but for love.
“These are the things I swear to you.”
It was hard to predict how Belphegor’s was going to go, when he summoned a bed suddenly in front of everyone. There were some doubts, especially when he told you to lie down. But then he explained that I was just to sleep. I had a hard time however, so he cuddled up beside me and gave me a little magical assistance. I woke just a minute later, but in that time, he’d slipped a ring on my finger, and begged me to fall asleep with him every day, and wake up with him every morning. It was a dream unlike any other.
“I want you to sleep by my side forever.”
And then, Leviathan set up a TV. The screen crackled to life with an old fashioned side scroller dungeon I’d never seen before. He kept cheering me on, but some parts were just too much for me to handle. I handed the hardest part over to him, and he… sort of forgot to give it back to me to finish. But, it was cute anyway. At the end, the little sprite that looked like me walked up to a sprite that looked just like Levi, that proudly asked me to marry him in 16 bit text with adorable wedding bells playing in the background. He was soooo sheepish about having accidentally beaten the game, but it didn’t matter. It was still so sweet, and he put a ton of work into it! The symbolism was clear.
“I want to beat the difficult stages of life together, and defeat whatever stands in our way.”
Everyone was surprised when Mammon started singing. He even got Luke, Simeon and Solomon to sing backup for him. It was sweet, even if his brothers were mildly unimpressed at the performance. Simeon didn’t dislike it as much as the others seemed to. Still, it was a lot of effort to make a whole song and perform it in front of everyone. Especially his judgmental brothers. But his plea was more genuine than I think he had ever been with me.
“Ya gotta pick me. Ya’ve been mine since the first day we met!”
After all the fine spectacles, everyone was curious what Lucifer would pull out. White horse? Fireworks? Instead, he proudly announced that he needed no such preparations. Then he looked deep into my eyes, and declared that he only needed one thing for an epic proposal- me. I forgot how to breathe. His proposal made his brothers feel like they had over done it. A simple declaration, no frills, just the man himself, because that is all he needed.
“I want you by my side for eternity.”
Before I even started to make a choice, the arguments overlapped. Everyone was so certain I’d chosen them, except for Lucifer… who rather than declaring his confidence in his own selection? Told everybody to get out of the way, and to prove he was serious, shot a plasma ball straight through the crowd. It was the perfect trigger. The brawl that broke out destroyed the foyer of Diavolo's palace, and it took quite some time to repair it.
Little D changed his mind after that . Apparently, it was better and safer to change the one groom requirement for the magazine story, and actually have one.
My earlier concern fluttered by. If the solution was so simple for the photo shoot?
… … … … Why wouldn’t it work for the underlying problem?
Better to avoid stirring up the problem that lurked beneath the surface of the House of Lamentation. So, I kept the plan on the backburner for a while. I thought the issue might just fade away if we all stopped talking about it.
But it didn’t. It just wouldn’t die down. Tensions ran high at the family dinners even after the photoshoot was over. Shots were made about various proposals. Food was thrown, much to Beel’s displeasure, and naps were interrupted with arguing, to Belphie’s frustration. Asmodeus complained about lost beauty sleep, and Mammon's thefts became more grand and more personal, including Lucifer's favorite coffee mug. That ended about as well as could be expected.
The terrible magazine special had broken the silent truce, and all hell was about to break loose. When Leviathan almost summoned Lotan after Satan made a comment about being unable to even make his game more than barely playable, I knew this had to stop. I waited until after we all got together for the evening meal. Ever since the photohoot ,these meals had been tense and uncomfortable for basically everyone except Beel who was blissfully unaware. By the end of it, when the silence was so heavy everyone was excited when I finally broke it in a quiet voice.
“So. I… had a thought.” All eyes turned to me gratefully. “I was thinking that all this fighting would stop if I actually did just… get married.”
A clamour arose immediately. Glasses, forks and plates were slammed down. Books were shut with a loud snap, and Asmo raised his voice to an unhealthy level in his protest. Frantically, I waved my hands to silence everyone. When it was quiet again, I continued.
“I know. Choosing is a problem… So… I was wondering...If there are any rules in the Devildom from preventing me from marrying… all of you…It’ll put the whole matter to rest...for good.”
Silence fell over the whole room. Even Beel stopped chewing. Lucifer sat down slowly, cradled his cheek in one hand and looked thoughtful. “Technically no. Are you sure that is what you desire however? One spouse is taxing enough for most people. Are you certain you can keep up with seven?”
I laughed nervously. “Of course I’m not certain. But I can’t stand watching you brothers fight. Ever since marriage was brought up, all of you have been on edge.” Each brother looked down with guilty eyes, except Lucifer who simply closed his in silent agreement. He knew what he had done.
“I suppose we will each have to consider if we are comfortable in such an arrangement for real. I know I do not care much for sharing.”
Satan tapped his lips with the spine of his book. “But, it would solve the problem.”
Lucifer sighed. “I shall discuss the matter with Diavolo. Obviously, such an undertaking must not be taken lightly. Let us all ponder this tonight. There is no need to rush.” Everyone separated after that and sadly, that was the best ending to a dinner since the incident.
The House of Lamentation was quiet that night. Usually, my DDD went off several times a night, but tonight, it was silent. Maybe I read the situation wrong. Perhaps this brilliant solution was not quite the silver bullet I imagined it to be.
Well, that was embarrassing. I almost didn’t even know how to handle the silence. My room felt quiet and empty without Mammon beating down my door, Belphie begging me to sleep in my bed or Beel looking for snacks. I would have even appreciated Asmo’s need for constant reassurance.
Maybe the silence was worse than the fighting. I’d apologize to everyone in the morning, but for now, what could I do?