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the first time dante ever lied to you was the worst day of his entire life, alongside the death of his father. He spent the entire night tossing and turning in his sleep. Oh the times he wished he could comfort you as you cried about sister sofia dying. your weeps permeated through the walls as dante would press his ear against it and slowly sink onto the floor. the pain that rose from his heart and spread all throughout his chest would cave in on him and make it difficult to breathe. slow and shallow breathes is what this burden would allow him. the nights seemed to never end for him as he laid in silence. the light from the moon seeped its way into his room, illuminating the now empty tea cup where you’d often bring him his caffe latte. it seemed as though the moon was mocking him, a warning from god. an ever present sign that his sins would follow him even to the smallest corners of his room.
the next day, dante could hardly look at you. the puffiness of your eyes, the red of your slceras, and even your mannerism, how you brought yourself to get up just to move were indicative that you were heartbroken; distraught. dante would know the feeling, the appearance of a person who’d just lost a person dear to them. the mafia boss would try to console you but he felt as though that would be a huge hypocrisy to you. it isn’t something he felt was right for you. how could he play the hero when he was the one that brought this agony onto you. a perfidious leader, a pitiful man that shouldn’t have tainted your pure soul. if he had the option, he would have left you to stay at the church where he wouldn’t have exposed you to such violence or malice, but your safety was his priority. he would have been fine keeping his distance from you, like a guardian angel watching over you. only stepping in when danger lurked in the hidden parts of the church.
the next days after that, which turned to weeks were just a jumble of merely speaking to Leo through one another. dante would have Leo bring you gifts now and then and you would use Leo to bring dante his sweets or coffee. The silence between the two of you was killing dante. How he loved it when you’d interrupt him while he was working. He hardly knew when to stop working and your spontaneity and persistence was what helped him sleep better at night. The guilt consumed him every waking moment so much so that he bought you a kitten in hopes that this lie of his could somehow disappear.
night fell and dante was alone. Would it be the current silence that would break him or the overflowing guilt that would cause him to knock on your door in the middle of the night? and when you’d open the door, you’d find yourself with a mafia boss kneeling and looking up at you with eyes that were on the brink of tears. he’d reach out to your legs and grab onto them like a child would when pleading. his face would press up against your knee as he begged for forgiveness. you were shocked and confused. what was dante doing at this time. it pained you to see him this way. dante; the man with a cold front was on the floor for crying out loud. whatever it was that was bothering him must have been so terrible to bring a man like him down.
you helped lift him from the ground and invited him in to rest on one of the lounge chairs that were in your room. after a while of confessions dante was back to normal. you had a lot of faith in dante so of course his reasoning behind why he needed to lie made sense. you knew dante would never lie to deceive you for his own benefit. he was a pious man who cared about the future and wellbeing of his family. his family and this town would always come first, before any gang or even himself.
“you forgave me too easily,” dante said whilst looking out the window. you admired the way the light illuminated the cerulean blue in those deep eyes of his. his brows would still furrow at the thought of ever hurting you. it was a face you were all too familiar with.
“stop thinking so much, dante.” you knew that he spent too much time in his own head. even now, at this very moment, his mind would race with many things preoccupying him. you continued watch as he shifted his gaze to you and how the rest of his body would follow along. from the table you’d notice how dante sluggishly got up and made his way to you. he’d sit on the floor and rest his head on your lap. and much to your surprise your hands would move on their own and cradle his face, caressing the tears that would silently fall.
you forgave him not because you were naive nor stupid. you would forgive him because you knew that it must have taken everything within him; the yoke that had been placed upon him that he gladly took the burden of, now heavy with shame to look you straight in the eye and tell that sister sofia was dead. all for the sake of his family and for your security. you forgave him for the honest man he was and would continue to be.
you let dante rest in your lap until he would sleep. so that he might finally get some peace for once.