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What a beautiful wedding. The wedding venue was gorgeous. The colors are a beautiful gold and cream white. The grooms are dressed to the nines. Bokuto would describe themselves as rather snazzy. Bokuto is wearing a black three piece suit with a white pocket square Akaashi made for him. The initials BK was threaded in gold. Akaashi is wearing a white suit with a light gray pocket square. He does not have initials but a little owl on it.
The wedding ceremony went without a hitch. Hinata is the flower boy cause he insisted and Tskishima begrudgingly played the part of ring bearer. He only agreed because Akaashi asked politely. If Bokuto asked he would have laughed in his face and said “fuck no.” Kuroo is Bokuto’s best man while Kenma is Akaashi’s of course. Konoha was very offended that he was not chosen to be best man because he was in charge of making sure they got their shit together and actually got together. Akaashi told him that’s why he’s not best man.
The wedding was beautiful, people were crying during vows, Bokuto forgot a few words but would swear he didn’t. Akaashi would deny to his dying breath that he cried when the officiator said Bokuto Keji. (He definitely cried. He cried first. Which made Bokuto cry. This won’t change the fact that Bokuto will still scream out a garbled version of Akaashi’s name still.)
But overall, the wedding was fantastic. The wedding reception is where it gets interesting.
“What a beautiful wedding. What a shame that the groom’s groom is a thirsty motherfucker!” Kuroo exclaims.
Kenma couldn’t help but agree. Akaashi is already on his second glass of wine and let’s just say Akaashi is a lightweight and is doing things is definitely going to regret in the morning. So far, he has grinded on Bokuto, taken off his coat, then Bokuto’s coat, and then sings loudly to Beyoncé. Kuroo managed to video all of this.
Akaashi stole a microphone from the DJ and got on top of the table. He banged his silverware against his glass.
“Uh oh.” Kenma sighs.
Kuroo smirks. He gets out his phone and hits record again, “Uh oh indeed.”
Akaashi stops banging the glass when he gets everyone’s attention. Everyone thought it was going to be a heartfelt speech about today and his love to his husband and friends. They kind of got it right.
“I just wanted to announce that I love animals as much as the next person, but Koutarou is the reason why I will never be a vegan. Thank you.”
People are in shock. They are debating whether to laugh or cry.
Kuroo is laughing so hard. Bokuto is super red and is wondering if he should get his husband (husband!!!) off the table. Kuroo stops him and says “Bro let’s see where this continues.”
Hinata raises his hand and jumps up. “Do you want to eat Bokuto?”
Kageyama hits Hinata on the back of his head. Hinata gives a small oof. “Of course not dumbass! He’s not a cannibal!” He looks at Akaashi. “Right?”
Akaashi looks at them both in the eyes and says “Yes. You are correct Hinata.”
Kageyama and Hintata both look at each other in confusion. Hinata whispers to Suga, “that’s not correct right?” Suga is dying in the corner laughing and says, “I’ll explain later. First I need air.”
Akaashi coughs and continues. “He is just beef. Don’t you understand? His muscles are so thick. Like he could crush me and I would thank him. His name literally means ‘thick owl’. What am I supposed to do? Not fall in love with this man? I mean. I didn’t fall in love just for his build, I love him and his personality cause he’s the sweetest, kindest person you will meet. He’s so outgoing, you can’t just not love him. Yes he has his down days, but that doesn’t mean I won't stand by him any less. I fucking love this man don’t anyone dare deny it.”
“AGAKKAAAAAASHI!!!!” wails Bokuto. Kuroo pats him on the back.
“Bokuto, I love you but don’t interrupt. Anyway, I will never be a vegan. He’s just beef. His meat? Down there? Outstanding. 1000/10. Forever and always.”
Kageyama whispers to Hinata, “Does he have a meatsuit?” Hinata whispers back, “I think so? I should get one cause Bokuto has one!” Kageyama nods agreeing. Suga is once again dying and has to lean onto Daichi, who is choking on his drink.
Tsukishima doesn’t know what to think. His responsible senpai. Also he can’t bear to listen to Hinata and Kageyama conversations any longer. He swears he’s gonna lose brain cells listening to them. He’s debating whether or not banging his head on the table and going into a coma would help. He would but he doesn’t want Yamaguchi to worry.
“That concludes my announcement. I also want to say I simp really hard for Bokuto. Thank you! Kou catch me!” He proceeds to jump off the table into Bokuto’s arm. Bokuto catches him and gives him a kiss on the forehead. “You’re gonna regret this in the morning.” Akaashi shakes his head no. “I don’t regret anything.”
Kuroo snorts. “He’s gonna eat these words in the morning.
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Next morning~
Akaashi wakes up in Bokuto’s arms. Oh wait, he realizes, he’s also a Bokuto. Wakes up in Koutarou’s arms. His head is pounding, and he knows it’s gonna be a hard morning. His phone chimes on and he sees a message from pain-in-the-ass Kuroo.
Pain-in-the-ass Kuroo: hope you slept well!!! Here’s some videos from the reception I promised you!!! XOXO
Akaashi groans, knowing fully well he didn't want videos from the reception. Especially from Kuroo.
He opens one for the videos and feels insta regrets. He opens the next few and sees him on the table talking about Koutarou. Fuck.
Bokuto wakes up to his husband having a crisis. “Hey sweetheart, are you okay?”
Akaashi stops his crisis for a second and stares at Bokuto. He sighs and says “We’re going to have to change our names and hair color, drop all of our friends, especially Kuroo, and move to Spain.”
“HUAHHHH?!” Bokuto screams.